Author's Note: Set shortly after they arrive on the main Elegius ship, mostly featuring Clarke and Diyoza.

Point of No Return

Finishing up the wrapping for the head wound she was currently treating Clarke pulled the bandage tight, causing her patient to wince. "Fuck it wasn't enough for you to pistol whip me, now you trying to cut off blood flow up there?"

"How about you whine less and be grateful I didn't just shoot you?" Clarke retorted, getting the woman to clamp her mouth shut. The woman had been the one tasked with guarding Diyoza's cell and she had been whining non-stop about Clarke having knocked her out. In Clarke's opinion though she needed to shut up and be grateful that it would've drawn too much attention at the time to simply shoot her.

Pulling the bandage a little tighter than might be necessary she fastened it together, stepping back to inspect her work. "There, now just keep pressure on it for the next hour and you'll be good."

Pressing one hand to the wound to keep pressure on it as instructed, the woman glared back at Clarke as she exited the medbay. "Is there an actual reason for her to do that?" Niylah asked from nearby, busy setting a splint around the broken ankle of a Wonkru soldier.

"No, but she annoyed me." Clarke said with a slight smile, getting Niylah to shake her head in amusement. Looking around she looked for the next patient that needed treatment, restraining from shaking her head as she saw just how many still awaited treatment. At least the severely injured had already been treated by her mom and Jackson.

As if on cue the doors to the medbay opened, two members of Wonkru stumbling in, one supporting the other as he coughed harshly, collapsing to his knees as bright red blood dyed the floor before him. Rushing to the man Clarke helped him back up, guiding him to one of the med tables as Jackson came running over. For the next several minutes the two worked to find the cause of the man's collapse, realizing quickly that it was due to the wounds sustained during the first battle in the gorge having worsened.

"Dammit," Jackson cursed, racking his brain for a solution. He had been the one to treat Tahkos after the battle, there hadn't been the time or resources to extract the bullets then but he'd thought they were stable enough to leave until later. He already had a punctured lung though and the mad rush to the drop ship had only made it worse. With the amount of blood that was pooling in his lungs there was no option but surgery.

"I'll prep for surgery," Clarke said, having reached the same conclusion Jackson had. While she was nowhere near the doctor her mother was, she was well acquainted with treating the after effects of a battle.

"Prep what?" Jackson asked, shaking his head in frustration. "There's nothing left. No surgical mesh, no sedatives, no antibiotics, we've used nearly everything already." Clenching his fist, he slammed it on the table in anger, ignoring the looks he was getting from everyone in the medbay.

Struggling to sit up Tahkos reached over and placed a hand on Jackson's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It's okay. My fight has come to an end." The scarred warrior said slowly in accented English, doing his best not to grit his teeth in pain. He had known his injuries were too severe to be treated, it was why he hadn't wanted to come to the medbay. Better to let them use their time healing the ones that could be saved.

"It shouldn't have to be. I should be able to do something." Jackson said, shaking his head in denial. In truth though he knew there was nothing to be done, not without a stocked OR. And even then it would've been a surgery with a low chance of survival. All he could do now was find some way to ease the man's pain.

"Jackson," Clarke said softly, pulling him away from Tahkos as the man laid back down. "Go help the next patient. I'll handle the rest."

"But I-" Jackson started before falling silent. He knew he should be the one to take responsibility but he couldn't. Taking his silence as acceptance Clarke moved past him, Jackson turning to watch her for a moment before shaking his head and moving on to the next patient.

"Do you know what's going to happen?" Clarke asked gently as she moved over to where Tahkos lay, placing a hand atop his wrist for comfort. The man had his eyes closed as he breathed heavily, clearly suffering just from the effort of drawing breath.

Opening his eyes Tahkos took in the person before him, "Wanheda…" He breathed out, Clarke nodding slightly at the mention of the title she'd hoped to never hear again. "I'm dying."

"Yes, but it will take time. And it will hurt for every moment of it." Clarke said bluntly, letting the man know what awaited him. There was no way to know just how long Tahkos could hold on for, lung wounds were pretty variable. But it would kill him, and until then he would be in terrible pain.

Reaching for her belt she drew out her knife, showing it to the man. "I can't promise that it will be painless but it will be quick." She offered, giving Tahkos the choice. If he wanted to fight and hold on for as long as possible then she would honor that. But if he wanted to end his fight then she would grant that to him.

For several seconds Tahkos looked at the knife, then up at Clarke, locking eyes with her as he seemed to search for something. Nodding, he closed his eyes once more, "Ai gonplei ste oden."

"Yu gonplei ste oden," Clarke echoed giving the man's arm one last reassuring squeeze, before sliding the blade into the side of his neck. Withdrawing the blade, she watched as his breathing slowed, before finally coming to a merciful stop. Rising from his side Clarke wiped her knife clean before returning it to its sheath, looking around the room to see who needed help next.

The looks that greeted her though made it clear that none of them wanted her help. Whether part of Eligius or Wonkru all of them gazed at her with fear, clearly disturbed by her actions. Not bothering to restrain herself she couldn't help but roll her eyes. Nearly everyone on this damn ship was a killer, but she granted someone the peace they asked for and now they looked at her with fear yet again. As if she would come for them next.

Well if they didn't want her help then she wouldn't stay stuck in here. Most of the remaining patients were just minor injuries anyways, Niylah could handle them. Making up her mind she headed for the exit, only to be surprised when someone stepped in front of her.

"Well if no one else wants to be next, how about taking a look at me?" Diyoza said, a half smile on her face that annoyed Clarke to no end.

"Why not? You wanted to someone make sure the baby was alright?" Clarke asked, not bothering to wait for an answer as she stepped back away from the door. Pointing to a med table that had a tarp pulled around it to give some privacy, she moved off to get something "Head back there, that way we have some privacy. I'll grab what I need and be there in a minute."

Keeping her attention focused on the monitor Clarke tried to ignore the smug smile Diyoza had. Whatever it was that had the woman so amused was none of her concern, even if she felt that she was the source of the amusement. "Everything looks good. I'll save a copy of the ultrasound and have Abby take a look later but I don't see any issues."

"That's a relief," Diyoza said, genuinely relieved that there was nothing wrong. It wasn't like it had been an easy pregnancy even before taking the cryosleep into account.

Standing up Clarke switched off the machine before taking a small container of pills out of her bag. "Here. Prenatal vitamins or as close as we can manage at least." She explained as she passed them over to Diyoza.

Shaking her head a bit Diyoza took one out, swallowing it before continuing, "Is there even a point to me taking these? We're going to be going into cryo anyways." She was the one that had designed that damn bomb, she knew there would be nothing left. If they were lucky the valley might come back in a few decades, the only way they'd survive that long was cryo.

Pausing from packing up her kit Clarke evaluated the colonel for a minute, "You're likely right. But it's better to take them while you have a chance than not."

"True," Diyoza acknowledged with a slight tilt of her head. "Will any of my people actually wake up from cryo?"

"Don't know. That's not my call." Clarke answered, leaning back against the table her bag rested on. If Diyoza wanted to chat for a moment she'd humor her, there wasn't anything else that required her immediate attention. "I imagine they'll wake you to allow your child to be born at least, she's innocent in all of this."

"Nice thought, given that you were pointing a gun at my baby a few hours ago." Diyoza pointed out, watching Clarke to see if she'd react. The woman was completely composed though, simply gazing back at Diyoza as if they were having a normal chat. "Would you have actually done it? Taken an innocent life?"

That got a reaction from Clarke, her gaze hardening as she glared at Diyoza. "Yes, I would. Part of me wishes I had, then we wouldn't be stuck up here." She had been too slow to realize what McCreary was after, if she had then shooting Diyoza might've gotten him to pause long enough to take him out.

"You think it would be that easy to live with?" Diyoza asked, waiting to see what Clarke's response would be. She knew better than anyone the weight of killing innocents, of killing children who had done nothing wrong. It wasn't an easy burden to bear, even if you did so for a just cause.

"What's one more life added to the hundreds I've already taken?" Clarke responded, grabbing her bag of the table and heading to leave.

"Is that why they fear you?" Diyoza asked, getting Clarke to stop and turn and face her. "I thought it was funny, how they looked at you with such fear when you're the reason any of them are alive. My guys being scared makes sense; you've killed plenty of them. But the rest? The only reason they're alive is because you took the dropship. So why are they so afraid?"

"I thought Kane told you everything?" Clarke asked, regretting engaging with the woman again even as she did.

"I'm beginning to think he left some things out." Diyoza replied, a slight edge to her voice. It was becoming apparent to her that Kane hadn't filled her in fully on Clarke, likely to prevent her from becoming a target.

"Fine then, you want to know? It's because I've committed massacre after massacre. I burned an army alive when they attacked my friends, I allowed a missile strike to be carried out on Tondc. I flooded Mt. Weather with radiation killing everyone who lived there. I've killed hundreds; solders, women, children, people who had helped us." Clarke said, anger seeping in to her voice as she explained. She had wanted so badly to forget, to leave it all behind in a world that had been burned away. But that would never be allowed to happen.

"You want to know why they fear me? It's because I'm the Commander of Death, and they believe I'll come for them next. There's not even five hundred people left alive and they blame me for that." She blamed herself. So many people had died because of her, those she'd killed, those she'd failed to save, those that died because of her.

"Now if that's all I'd like to go see my daughter." Clarke finished, storming out of the small enclosure.

Sitting on the medtable Diyoza had a small smirk at finally having gotten the answers she was looking for. She had felt that she was missing something from the start, that there was more to Clarke than they were letting on. And now she knew. The girl was the same as her, a leader that had made all the hard choices for her people and become hated by the masses for it. She couldn't help be amused by that, back when she'd led the ULA there had been no one that could relate to her. Now though she couldn't help but see all the similarities between herself and two of the young women who had been at the center of the war.

Author's Note: There's chapter one done. I actually do have multiple chapter planned for this one so I will be adding a few more.