CASTLE IMPROVEMENT

Summary: On a hot summer's day, a wealthy business tycoon offers to repair and upgrade Cortex Castle for its residents. Doctor Neo Cortex along with his minions give their ideas for the re-imagined property and sign for it. The crew have to live elsewhere while the work is being carried out.

After every hotel in Wumpa Town refuses to take them in due to their past evil deeds, they end up staying in the one place Cortex never thought he would in his wildest dreams...

Disclaimer: Crash Bandicoot is the property of Activision.

Chapter 1: The Wealthy Visitor

On one of the hottest days of the year, the evil Doctor Neo Cortex was stuck in his office, trying to come up with ways to destroy Crash Bandicoot and/or conquer the world.

Scribbling on a notepad, he kept tossing plans into a remote-control trash can which he periodically emptied by steering it to a garbage chute at the window that led to a skip at the bottom of the castle with even more amounts of paper.

"Creating a fleet of giant robotic ants? Tried it. Amnesia inducing ray? How cliche! Turn N. Sanity Island into a concrete parking lot? Too Oxide!" He sighed, pulled his jet-black beard in frustration and slouched in his seat after throwing yet another paper ball into the trash. He was hot and bothered, he liked the warm climate, but sometimes it became unbearable. Giving up, he slammed his fist on the table, tore himself off of the sweat-stained seat and left the room.

Taking a walk through the Great Hall, Cortex thought long and hard about rebuilding the castle to its former glory – a fortress to be feared for its power instead of feared for safety reasons; massive pits in the floor, corridors going pitch black all the time, sentient blobs jumping about everywhere, giant axes swinging about, and the overabundance of rats and spiders. And that was before the fire damage a few years back, when Crash stormed the castle to rescue his then girlfriend Tawna. Now the castle had a dank, damp smell that even Tiny Tiger could not stand! Rooftop beams had started to fall in, leaks dripped through the ceiling whenever it rained and it had started going dark more regular than before, since his Cortex Power facility also fell foul to the bandicoot.

Pausing at a balcony, Cortex opened his wallet and a moth flew out. "Ugh. Not even the moths want to live here."

A few moments later, he entered the Main Lab at the top of the castle where his henchmen were taking it easy.

His right-hand man Doctor N. Gin was playing Tiny at Snakes & Ladders, the tiger was watching his counter very carefully as he made his move, N. Gin trying his best to be patient.

Komodo Joe was testing his reflexes by dicing food in the air with his sword to make a sandwich. Him and his brother Moe had a disagreement, mainly whose fault it was they failed back when they first meet Crash. Joe decided to stay at Cortex Castle while their feud continued.

Don Pinstripe Potoroo was on the couch in his fabulous pink/red suit, killing time by reading his favorite book 'The Mobfather'. Unlike the others, he had his own place with his potoroo gangsters in an apartment next to the Crate Factory in Downtown Wumpa that he uses as a front where he manufactures Nitro and TNT crates for his paying clients. Sometimes he went over to Cortex's base to keep up to date on plans he feels could benefit himself, plus he was easily amused by the antics. He also found love in the eyes of Tawna of all people making a few individuals, particularly Cortex feel incredibly awkward.

And finally, Doctor Ripper Roo was on the computer checking up reviews of his acclaimed autobiography, "Through the Eyes of the Vortex", of course he was using his foot to move the mouse. Since becoming an inspiring governor, rumors of him running for President persist, becoming more likely as he might have a chance against another crazy person.

"Dr. Cortex, you're just in time to witness the thrilling conclusion." N. Gin spoke in his cyborg voice although Neo could tell he was being sarcastic.

"Hey N. Gin."

"Still can't think of a good plan huh?"

"Don't worry 'bout it, the bone-headed mask freak just left on his vacation a few days back. Relax Doc." Pinstripe said in his strong mafia accent.

Cortex turned around to face him. "I suppose you're right. It's not just that, I've been doing a lot of thinking and..." *ROAR*

"Tiny land on snake again! I hate this game!" Tiny chucked the board game out the window, hitting a bird perched underneath.

"I dissspissse it. Paintsss reptiles in a negative light. Ssssso wrong!" Joe said.

"It's probably 'cos your voice sounds stupid." Pinstripe snickered.

"Take that back, rodent!" Joe pointed his blade.

"Bring it on, Kaa!" Pinstripe wielded his Thomson SMG.

"Why I oughta..."

Cortex jumped in between the mutants. "Minions please, can't we get through one day without wanting to kill each other?"

"Fine wi' me." They folded their arms.

"Good. As I was saying, with Uka Uka away, we should focus our attention on improving the poor workmanship of this castle."

N. Gin stood up from his chair. "Nonsense boss, it's perfectly workable." A rooftop beam promptly fell and crushed the seat he was previously sitting in. "Point made."

"Unfortunately, there's no funds to even start refurbishing, and it definitely needs more than a lick of paint." Cortex, with his hands behind his back walked over to the bay window, which gave a massive viewpoint of Cortex Island. "We need a silver lining. Just something... Hold on!" He grabbed a pair of binoculars and zoomed onto the jetty near the old factory. Someone had set foot on the island with the use of a fancy yacht.

The male visitor began walking up to the castle. He was an anthropomorphic marsupial with purple fur, a tan muzzle and a thin mustache that went down his cheeks. He had an extremely upper-class dress sense; he wore a white tailor-made suit with matching shoes, shiny cufflinks and a red tie. He also bore sunglasses and had a briefcase complimenting his demeanor.

"This guy dresses snazzier than you, Pinstripe." Cortex whistled. He turned around to find a Tommy gun pointed at his face.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing. Looks like he's going to knock the front door." Suddenly as Neo headed towards the stairs he froze and had a look of complete fear on his face. "Hang on. Where's Dingodile?"

In the castle Basement, Dingodile was doing a bit of target practice with the aid of his flamethrower, blasting fireballs at a manikin doll with a picture of Crash's face plastered over it. Out of all of Cortex's minions, Dingodile was the most determined to incinerate the marsupial. He still thought about his humiliating defeat in the Ice Age from time to time, and then on top of that a penguin jumped on top of him. In order to stop fires, Cortex made the floor and walls fireproof, immediately sizzling out flames.

As Dingodile took aim, a woman's horrified scream broke his concentration, it was the doorbell. "If this is another bible thumper their gonna experience Hell like no other." He climbed the stairs to the lobby.

Meanwhile, Cortex and co. were running down the main stairwell that led to the entrance. Neo had his ray gun set to Stun in case he had to subdue the hybrid. "Hurry! We can't let him scare off that gentleman."

"Well just so yous know, it won't be me standing up to him." Pinstripe stated.

"Insssolent coward." Komodo Joe remarked.

"The guy's got a big ass flamethrower!"

Too late...

"G'day mate."

The man outside had his face stuck in a file. "Good afternoon, I believe this is the castle of Dr... Yikes!" He shrieked and hid behind his folder.

"Dingodile's the name, and I'm sorry, but a Dr. Yikes doesn't live here."

Cortex suddenly appeared. "He's meaning me you buffoon! You just frightened the life out of him!" He pushed the dingo/croc into the castle and stepped outside to talk to the fancy fellow. "Sorry about that, he doesn't realize how scary he looks to strangers." He shrugged and then extended his hand. "Dr. Neo Cortex – Super Genius." He proudly proclaimed.

"It's quite alright, no harm done. I'm glad to finally meet you Doctor." The man gladly returned the hand shake, then he presented his business card. "Vincent."

On the card it featured a beautiful white mansion with a sparkling water fountain and tennis court in the front. Fancy writing lay over it along with palm trees as a border.

'DEVIL HOMES – TURNING YOUR DREAM HOUSE INTO A REALITY'

He smiled. "Vincent DeVil, the Viscount."

END OF CHAPTER 1

For those who don't know, the Viscount was a main character from the 2006 Party Game Crash Boom Bang! He was on the hunt for the elusive Super Big Power Crystal. It was not a good game at all, but I found the Viscount interesting. I gave him Vincent DeVil as his name as I thought it went well with his title. What do you think of him so far?