Chapter One: Pink

"So what are you gonna do, shatter me?!"

Bismuth's tone is corrosive, boiling with hurt, as sharp as the fine point that she's forcibly pressed against the gem inlaid in her chest. Steven's hands quiver against the cool metal casing of the breaking point. Once assured words derail and fragment in the presence of terrifying uncertainty, his mind grasping at straws for the barest glimmer of optimism. (Optimistic thought number one: While it's absolutely the most horrifying tool of war he's ever had the misfortune of holding, he's at least glad this thing isn't a thousand billion degrees like everything else in this crazy lava powered furnace.)

"Go ahead!" she continues, tears budding in her eyes, and jerks the weapon against her gem so roughly that it clinks against the hard crystal's surface. His shoulders seize at the sound. "Just do it!"

Whatever force of fear that once tied his tongue dissipates at the first sight of her distress.

"No!" he says, surmounting the strength to rebel against her hold, to pull the razor-sharp point away from her. "Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this..."

In an instant, a complex series of emotions flicker across her stony features in consuming waves too rapid to identify. Confusion, maybe? A hint of relief? He dares to dream she'll reconsider, earnestly apologize, back down and store the weapon away. Destroy it, even. They can warp to the temple together, and then everything will finally return to normal. A new normal, with her a part of his Crystal Gem family! Amethyst will have a new wrestle buddy, and Pearl and Garnet will smile a little brighter alongside their old friend!

But any hope he dares cling to is quickly incinerated under the blistering anger radiating from deep within that Gem's tear stained eyes. She yanks the breaking point from his grasp. Heart pounding in his ears, his glance desperately skates over his mom's sword lying across the room. Too far away, too far away! Bismuth raises her weapon adorned arm above her head and swings.

It happens so fast there's not even time to summon his shield. Instinctively the world around him turns to pink, but he knows his limits, knows the bubble's protection won't be enough. Not against something like this, not at point blank. Steven grinds his molars together, slams his eyes shut. He suddenly wishes he hugged everyone goodnight before going to bed. He wishes he texted his dad.

The bubble pops.

In a heartbeat, agony tears through his nerves like nothing he's ever experienced before, radiating from his gem all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes and drawing a hoarse scream from his lips. Something within him shatters into fragments, rips away with a force unimaginable and shoves him forcibly to the warm stone. He desperately tries to raise another bubble shield but now his body is cold, cold, cold and his head feels woozy, stuffed to the brim with cotton. He catches a faint flicker of pink through the crack of his eyelids. But that solid clink against crystal, followed by that horrid, horrid sound— the unmistakable sign of a cracking gemstone— might as well have come from miles away.

When he finally opens his eyes again, he's immediately aware of two things.

One: he's shivering. Despite the overwhelming heat of the forge, heat he knows should be making him sweat rivers, his body convulses and his teeth chatter like he's just come out of the snow.

Two: after her aggression he doesn't understand why, but Bismuth is holding him. His breath hastens as he realizes this, but in his current state of disorientation he doesn't fight it. She's pressed him tight against her chest like he's suddenly the most precious being in existence, her hard-light form nearly burning to the touch even though Gem bodies don't produce heat like organic life does. Paired alongside the uncontrollable shivering, he's pretty sure that's reason for concern.

"I'm so, so sorry," she cries, fat tears budding at the corners of her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. "Shards, I- I was so sure that you were somehow Rose that I almost—" Her voice hitches, unable to complete that sentence.

A pang of... of indescribable emptiness assails him then, and a glimpse at the figure standing motionless where he once stood enlightens him on concerning reality number three.

"Steven. Steven, please tell me you can still hear me? Please tell me you're not- I didn't mean to- for any of this to happen, I swear!"

"W-what..." His throat constricts, horror gripping his limbs as he shakily pulls up the hem of his shirt and finds nothing but smooth, blemish-less skin. "Where's my—?" His gemstone is nowhere to be seen. Gone. Except...

His gaze drops once more on the softly glowing, pink clone of himself that's currently staring at him with hauntingly blank irises. He doesn't speak a word, and his expression barely shifts at all, but Steven soon finds himself understanding his other self's existence regardless. He... he saved him. (Them?) Somehow, this hard-light manifestation split himself apart to shove him away from Bismuth's strike, sparing him from the brunt of the breaking point's force. And yet...

Phantom pains from a gem he no longer possesses arc like lightning through his now completely human body. He gives a sharp whimper, his eyes growing wet. It's almost immobilizing, reminiscent of the feeling one gets when they accidentally slam their funny bone against a counter or a door jam except it's everywhere at once. Simultaneously, his pink double's form glitches like a video game sprite.

Oh. Oh, no. Surely that's not what—

Bismuth pulls his frail form tighter as he bursts into tears. Memories of a distant afternoon he's tried so hard to forget slam to the forefront of his mind, leaving him helpless under their power. Amethyst, fracturing her gemstone when she fell on the hard edge of a boulder. Amethyst, her form glitching and morphing wildly, growing more and more unstable with every minute until she could barely speak or move. The bone chilling cracking noise that plays over and over in his deepest darkest nightmares, absolutely unmistakable in its horror, just like the sound of a car's bumper crunching inwards. The same noise ringing through his ears not moments ago, the breaking point aimed straight at his gem.

"What do I do?" she asks fervently, her attention snapping back and forth between his two fractured selves, human and Gem. "How do we fix this?"

Steven can't catch a breath through his sobs to even respond at first. He's heaving so hard his chest aches. Tears streak lines through the dirt that's caked on his face from their fight. As he desperately reaches out towards his double, a keening cry slips through his lips. The absence of his gemstone weighs on him as if something had reached its hand inside him and scooped it out like pumpkin guts. One moment he's whole, and the next... He doesn't understand how any of this came to happen. All he knows— the unceasing mantra buzzing within his woozy cotton-filled mind— is that he needs him, has to reach him to become whole again—

Need— I need to...

"T-take me back," he croaks, quivering helplessly in her arms. "I- I need—"

Awareness surges into his double's otherwise blank features as he chimes in to order the other Gem. The emotionless monotone of that voice is enough to send a shudder through his bones.

"The temple. Now."

AN: Hello there! I honestly don't know how long this will go on for, or in what direction. All I know is that I wanted to explore the idea that Gem/human Steven coming apart (as per Change Your Mind) is a sort of subconscious survival instinct, one which will only occur when Steven's about to suffer some pretty egregious injuries to his gemstone/body.

I figure Steven's subconscious attempts at protecting himself were able to:

A) Entirely spare his organic body from harm. (All pain human Steven feels here is flat out shock from suddenly being without his gemstone- and while they're separate I imagine he still is somewhat connected, thus can sense something's off when Gem Steven is glitching.)

B) Defend against the breaking point JUST enough that it only grazed/cracked his gemstone instead of full out shattering it.

As clarification, since I saw this question pop up in comments on AO3, Gem Steven didn't actually reform here. They pretty much just... "unfused."

As for Bismuth, we don't really get a chance to see her heel turn because Steven is blacked out for it. But the moment the split happened... and she saw human Steven spilled on the forge's floor, and Gem Steven cracked... it's alarming enough that it snaps her out of her rage and makes her realize that despite her confusions she genuinely could never shatter another Crystal Gem over this. The fact that she actually struck a blow this time is guilt inducing enough.