Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
The Meaning of Moonlight
A Digimon Tamers story by: Crazyeight
Takato hummed quietly to himself as he helped clean up the table, the remains of a birthday cake consisting mostly of frosting that had somehow escaped detection by a party of guests now mostly long gone, and a small message sitting amidst it all identifying whose day it had been.
Happy birthday Rika-chan.
Takato allowed a small smile to touch the corners of his lips at the small celebratory message – made by Jeri along with the cake – but did his best to keep it as non-obvious as possible. Rika, he knew, hadn't been too thrilled about the party to begin with, surprise or otherwise and had been less appreciative of his failed attempt at distracting her while the party was being prepped. Not that he could blame her. Rika didn't like deception, even when the intention behind it was good. And just as he predicted to Jeri and Rika's family when the plot had been revealed, the girl was not happy, and no amount of festivities could fix that.
Not like the rest of the day had been a blast anyway, he thought, his smile slipping away and becoming more pensive. I mean, there was that whole Parasimon and mind control thing. Kind of put a damper on everything.
Pausing at the entrance to the kitchen, he looked over his shoulder and in the direction of the vast expanse of yard that was the Nonaka residence, surrounded by a wall and a large, thick wooden gate, half expecting to find his friend there, but finding only the darkness of the descending night.
"A yen for your thoughts?"
Takato gave a startled jump and a yelp, whirling about to find a golden-furred, bipedal fox standing before him, blue, piercing eyes gazing at him curiously. Slapping on a cheesy, nervous grin in an obvious – and terrible – attempt to cover himself, he laughed.
"Sorry. Just got thinking about today."
"You're worried about Rika," the vulpine creature – a digital life form named Renamon – said, taking the plate with its cake remains from the boy. Takato felt himself go rigid at the kitsune's perception and looked about worriedly, half-expecting the girl in question to suddenly materialize from out of thin air, having caught wind of his concerns and was eager to share her displeasure over them. Renamon tilted her head at this.
"Is something the matter?" she asked. Takato looked up at her, his expression apologetic.
"Is it that obvious?" he asked, a sense of shame washing over him. He had been doing his best to help the party be, well, like a party should be and give Rika as little reason to be annoyed with him as possible. She was already mad enough at him about asking her out to watch the non-blooming Cherry blossoms as a distraction.
"For once, not so much," Renamon assured him, a small smile appearing on her face. "But you have always been easy to read."
Takato nodded, though this didn't help alleviate his concerns. "Rika's always saying that I wouldn't know subtlety if it bio-emerged, so I guess that's no surprise." He returned Renamon's smile as a thought occurred to her. "Um… I don't suppose you could give out any lessons…?"
"Rika prefers you as you are. If it's any consolation, she feels better knowing that you are what she gets." A pause before she gave a light laugh, remembering a time not that long ago in the flood tunnels where a mistake in reading him led to an unexpectedly honest compliment on the girl's shirt. "Although that doesn't stop you from getting into trouble anyway."
"Man, even when I'm doing nothing, I just end up causing trouble for her," Takato sighed despondently as he returned to the table and began to pick up the cups. Renamon frowned slightly at this, taken aback by how hard he was taking this. A moment's thought however had her change her assessment of the situation, and she glanced down in the direction of the kitchen where, within, their mutual friend, Jeri Katou was helping with the cleanup. Jeri, who just last year, had been in a similar situation as Rika and who still held a great deal back about the depths of how the experience affected her.
Ah… Of course. I see now.
Turning back toward Renamon, he offered her another smile that looked obviously fake.
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to come off sounding all weird and everything on Rika's birthday. I just… Is it really so bad to want to be worried about her?"
Renamon looked at the boy for one long moment before preparing to answer. Before she could do so however, she felt a familiar trickle in the back of her mind, and she lifted a claw to her lips, signaling for him to be quiet before fading from view with the sound of a flute. Blinking in bewilderment, he whirled about, looking for the fox digimon. As he did so, movement from out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and at once his vision zeroed in on the figure of Rika Nonaka down at the other side of the room, heading outdoors. Their eyes met briefly – or at least he thought they did – before she hopped down off the porch. His expression softened at her back, and he imagined that if she saw it, she would return nothing but annoyance. He tightened his grip around the glasses.
"There's got to be something I can do," he said quietly.
"Sometimes Takato," spoke up Renamon's voice as she appeared behind the boy, "helping when you don't know how is no different from not giving help at all. In some cases, it can be worse."
"Ah!" Takato spun about with a start. "Oh jeez… Renamon, do you just wait for me to…"
"…not pay attention?" Renamon smiled, amusement dancing in her azure eyes. "No. That would be too easy with you."
"Gee, thanks," Takato deadpanned.
"You're welcome," Renamon said, her tail sweeping behind her with an air of playfulness before her eyes became stern. "I advise that you be careful, as I said, and to not be in such a rush to fix things. Some things take time, and sometimes all that's needed is just your support. Rika knows how you feel, and for her, that is help enough."
Taking the glasses from the boy, she stepped away. "At any rate, it's getting late now, Takato. Why don't you go home?"
"Oh, I…ah…" He glanced over his shoulder at the table where the earlier festivities had been held. "No, it's fine. My parents are expecting me late anyway, and I want to help out." His expression became a touch sober, thinking back over the day. "I…guess I want to make up for my part in all of this."
"Hmmm… I don't believe you have anything to make up for," Renamon said, turning about and making her way to the kitchen. "But if you insist on helping with something within your abilities…" Her eyes flickered over to the yard where Rika stepped out into before returning to the boy. "…I believe the moon is quite admirable tonight."
"Huh?"
But the vulpine digimon was already gone. Scratching the back of his head, Takato scrunched his face up, trying to decipher the kitsune's meaning.
Is she suggesting that I watch the moon or something with Rika? he wondered. Well, it was a step up from watching non-blooming cherry blossoms, he supposed, and Rika did have the tendency to watch the moon. Still, he wondered if that was what she meant. Unlike himself, Renamon stood as the undisputed master at subtlety.
Heading out toward the yard, he looked about, finding his own digimon partner, a large, muscular, red-scaled reptile named Guilmon, sniffing at the koi pond curiously, and a short way off, stood Rika, basking in the last vestiges of the setting sun, her already fiery hair blazing a brilliant copper.
Pretty, he couldn't help but think before catching himself. Um… Better not say that out loud though. She might get mad.
###
The last rays of light were slipping away from the top of the gate surrounding Rika's home as the sun descended behind the horizon of the city; burning down to a dim, glowing ember that, eventually, would darken fully, bathing both sky and landscape with the cold, starry sky of night. A light shudder crept across her body, a puff of breath becoming visible as she made her way about the yard of her home, listening to the sounds of her home about her. Sounds of life. She turned back to the house, seeing the warmth of light that lay within, just a stone's throw away and easy shelter from the chill of outdoors.
She hated cold, but for the present, she didn't want to part ways with it, preferring to leave those inside alone; bereft of her presence as they cleaned up the remains of her surprise party. A birthday surprise that she didn't ask for or want, but had been organized anyway and, in the end, ruined by an invasion of artificial life forms from another plain of existence.
Just another day in the city of Shinjuku, really, though becoming mind-controlled and made to attack a friend of hers left a particular bad taste in her mouth about a day that was meant to be one of celebration.
Not that there's much to celebrate, she thought dourly. I'm here and I'm alive. Just another trip around the sun. Big deal.
Yet, everyone who cared about her – her family and friends – who were gathered here, thought it a big deal enough to celebrate her birthday with her; to organize a surprise party and keep her distracted while it was being set up.
"Takato?"
Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she saw the boy in question approaching Guilmon. He nodded to her, his expression betraying an obvious desire to come over to her but also a hesitation to do so, knowing how much she valued her privacy and that his approach in light of the day's events might not be altogether welcome, something Renamon understood perfectly well when she interrupted the boy the first time he tried to check in on her.
A part of her felt bad about that.
He cares. They all care and I just push them away.
Well, that just happened to be how she was. What did it matter if they worried about her?
It's not like I want anyone worrying about me anyway! Her thoughts came out harshly, as though she were snapping at Takato already, and feeling guilty about it, she crossed her arms together. With an effort, she made herself return her attention to the remainder of the sunset, its last rays slipping behind the wall surrounding her house, leaving only a faint glow behind. In spite of herself, she thought of Takato. Takato and Guilmon in their merged form of Gallantmon, bathing in the radiant, red light of the form's 'Crimson Mode,' angelic wings fluttering behind their knightly, armored form.
Pretty… she thought, just as she had spoken aloud when she saw the form for the first time up close; the form that she only caught a glimpse of a year ago, fighting hard to rescue Jeri from her captor, the malevolent entity known as the D-Reaper. She scowled at herself, feeling a faint heat touching her cheeks at having used the word, and feeling annoyed at associating it with Takato of all people.
"Did you come out to check up on me?" she suddenly found herself demanding heatedly, while behind her Takato's eyebrows rose up in surprise, his conversation with Guilmon finding itself unexpectedly getting cut off at the knees. She didn't turn around. She could easily imagine the look on his face. The confused look he often threw at her whenever she started coming down on him about something. Her hands tightened about her arms as she waited for his answer.
"Um… The thought did cross my mind," she heard him admit, and she glanced over her shoulder, finding the boy looking away while Guilmon watched with more than a little concern over how the conversation was starting to shape up. "But… you know. I was told that wasn't exactly a good idea."
Rika frowned at that. So far, he sounded truthful – not that she expected him to lie to her as he couldn't ever do so to save his life – but it wasn't the answer she anticipated either.
"You're supposed to say that you're worried," she grumbled under her breath, wondering where this change came from and guessing that Renamon had something to do with it.
"I'm supposed to say what?" Takato asked, somewhat bewildered.
"Nothing!" Rika shifted uneasily. "So, if you're not out here to check up on me, then what are you here for? Did you pick up birdwatching or something?"
She was being a bit nasty, and she knew it. Looking away, she bit her lower lip.
He…doesn't deserve this. Why… Why am I being like this?
"Um… Well, so far I'm Rika-watching." Takato barked a harsh, nervous laugh, all the while wishing that his mouth would just shut up long enough for his brain to catch up to it. Rika turned toward him, her violet-eyes dark and not amused.
"Sorry. Bad joke."
"Very bad," Rika agreed.
"What's wrong with watching you though?" Guilmon asked. "Renamon does it all the time, and friends are supposed to watch out for each other, right?"
"I'm not about to tell you the story of the birds and the bees," Rika harrumphed, making her way over to the duo while Takato rose to his feet, a sudden blush rising onto his face at the insinuation. Coming to a halt before them, their eyes met, something that felt as though it took considerable effort for the both of them, though Rika hid it far better than Takato, who looked as though he wanted to squirm and look away. Rika wished he would, if only so she could stop the squirming feeling growing inside her.
"Sorry," Takato said finally, and Rika raised an eyebrow.
"For what?"
Takato scratched the back of his head, finally looking away, but only for a moment.
"For trying to distract you. For suggesting we go watch the cherry blossoms. And for…" He coughed. "…Rika-watching."
Rika's hands again tightened around her arms and she broke her gaze away from his.
"You already apologized for the first two."
Guilmon looked back and forth between the two friends, sensing the thick tension growing on the air between them. He didn't understand why this was, or why it, at times, felt so different from tensions Rika shared with others, save for Henry who she tended to be fairly neutral toward even on her worst days. They were friends, but at the same time they held a strange feeling of being simultaneously enemies. Not the 'enemies' they were during their first, near disastrous encounters where Rika and Renamon genuinely saw Takato and Guilmon as adversaries to be defeated and crushed, but a sense of some kind of inevitable conflict lay between them all the same, like a bomb waiting for the slightest tap with which to explode.
Which made things all the more confusing with how they danced about the tension, trying desperately to avoid and defuse it while clinging tightly to their friendship in a way that they didn't with any of the others. It was, altogether, 'weird.'
"Rika!"
Both boy and girl jumped, startled as Jeri called out to them from the porch, the brunette waving and smiling cutely at them. Slipping on her shoes, she darted across the yard, beaming happily like a bright, shining sun. While Guilmon watched, Rika's face slipped on a mask, apparently grateful for the distraction from the tense air.
"I was wondering where you went off to,"" Jeri giggled, coming to a halt before them. "I'm getting ready to go and I wanted to say goodbye." She looked over at Takato questioningly. "Are you leaving too?"
"Ah… I guess so," the boy shrugged. "I mean, in…in a minute. We were just…uh…moon watching?"
"He'll be leaving soon," Rika cut in, annoyed over his stammering while giving the boy a sharp look. "He was just apologizing for his stupid, harebrained distraction."
"If it means anything, I was the one who suggested it," Jeri smiled apologetically with a shrug, folding her hands in front of her meekly.
"I kind of figured." Rika gave Takato another hard, critical look. "Though his timing was a bit off after all."
Meaning the non-blooming cherry blossoms, Takato thought while Jeri lifted an eyebrow.
"Oh? What did he suggest you do together?"
"Just something stupid," Rika grumped, shifting her stance.
"Oh…" Jeri fidgeted, looking crestfallen at the rather short and blunt response.
"T-To be fair, that one was definitely me," Takato grinned awkwardly. "That one was all me. Jeri wanted me to distract you and I kind of…slipped."
"Typical," Rika harrumphed.
"Well, lessons learned," Jeri smiled, trying to be upbeat. "Next time we'll do better."
"You did fine," Rika shifted again, her mask slipping and allowing a flicker of guilt to cross her features. "I just…hate surprises." She looked at Jeri, her eyes soft. "Sorry. I know you put a lot of work into it."
With a laugh, Jeri turned toward Takato and shrugged. "You did warn me."
"Yeah," Takato returned with an anxious chuckle.
"Ugh," Rika began. "Between the two of you…"
The fire-haired girl was abruptly cut off as Jeri suddenly threw herself at her, wrapping her up in her arms and squeezing her tight before releasing, leaving Rika with a bright, luminescent blush on her startled face.
"Calumon!" she called out. "It's time to go!"
On cue, a tiny, white-furred creature with wide ears and eyes fell out of the golden sky and flew over to them, giggling excitedly and landed atop Jeri's head. With another laugh and a wave, Jeri took off.
"Happy birthday Rika!" Calumon called, the pair disappearing around the gate, leaving the two teens and one dinosaur to listen to her vanishing footfalls before returning their attention to one another.
"So…uh…"
"Moon watching, Gogglehead?" Rika asked in a deadpan voice, reverting to her old nickname for him.
"Sorry. It was the first thing that came to mind."
"You have that problem quite a lot, don't you?" Rika huffed, once more folding her arms together. After a moment, her expression lost its edge and she looked away, as did Takato, the tension from earlier returning once again in full force.
"Thanks though," she said after one long moment. "For…earlier. For not letting go. Even if it was pretty stupid of you."
"Huh? Oh!" Takato blinked before remembering how, earlier that day, he had just barely caught her in her fall off the train digimon, Locomon. He frowned at her, also remembering how she demanded that he let her go to save himself.
"You're one of my best friends," he responded. "I don't think it was stupid at all. You'd do the same for me."
Rika tensed up at that, remembering how, under the mind control of Parasimon, she had tried to murder him with a giant-sized wrench.
It kind of feels like I didn't do that, she thought, though she didn't say it out loud. A part of her wondered if that was the source of her irritation. That she wasn't as good a friend as Takato was toward her.
Stupid… It's not a competition.
That wasn't it though. Of course, it wasn't a competition, yet she still felt that she lost all the same. That things she thought made her strong, like how she knew they made Takato strong when he and Guilmon were merged together, didn't work the way they should have for her.
Why didn't I fight it off? Her hands squeezed around her arms, images from earlier in the day…images of her father that the Parasimon's mind control taunted her with; tempting her. I should have! I…
She didn't want to think about it. But she couldn't help but wonder how much her friends meant to her. Really meant if she could be taken in so easily and be made to try and hurt someone she cared about.
"I want to sing."
"You really trust me a lot, don't you?" she asked.
"Of course, I do."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
Rika turned her head to face him more fully. "Why do you trust me?"
Takato rubbed the back of his head, confused about what she was trying to understand.
Is this about what happened with Parasimon?
Distantly, he realized that in spite of Rika's efforts to avoid having a talk about it, they were having it anyway.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I just do. I know that no matter what, you've got my back." He gave her a soft, comforting smile. "I mean, you kind of had it when you helped me rescue Guilmon, right? And that was before we were friends."
Rika opened her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted as Guilmon bumped up against her leg, causing her to rock on one foot before she righted herself.
"What are you doing, Dino boy?" she asked, frowning down at the reptilian digimon as he hugged up against her. His big, gold eyes looked at her uncertainly.
"Trying to help you feel better? You seem sad about something."
"I'm not…" She paused, sighed, and then patted the big dino's head. "You two. You're both Goggleheads! But…"
Takato took a step closer to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as she drifted off, seeming at a loss for words. He almost flinched away as her body tensed up at his touch, but at their eyes met, she relaxed. Her lips quirked slightly, a smile drawing a portrait on her face.
"You getting all mushy on me now, Takato?" she jested, and the boy blushed. For a moment, Takato was captivated by Rika's smile. It was so rare that he – or anyone – ever saw it, that he found himself in awe of the sight. It was just so…
"Pretty."
Rika cocked an eyebrow at that. "Huh?"
Suddenly realizing what he just said out loud, Takato's mind exploded in panic and he immediately began to backtrack.
"I-I mean the moon is really pretty, don't you think?" he stammered out, heat suddenly building up on his face at how lame the response sounded even to his ears. Rika blinked, a bit taken aback at this unexpected, baffling response. The moon was out, but with the sunset still casting a golden glow on the sky, it could hardly be called pretty. Nice, sure. But not pretty.
Unless… That's not what he's…
Deep, dark scarlet suddenly bloomed all across Rika's face, but before she could say or do anything else, the sound of her mother calling broke across the night air, causing both teens to whirl about in surprise, Takato's hand slipping away from the girl's shoulder as if it had been scorched.
"I'm out here, Mama!" Rika called back before returning her attention to her friend. Takato looked rather abashed, and from Rika's perspective, he had good reason to be.
You don't tell someone that and not be!
"I…guess I'd better get going, huh?" Takato said. Rika searched his eyes in the failing light, trying to work out the meaning of his words. Did he mean that? Or was it something else?
"Rika!" came the voice of her mother again. "Where are you?"
Guess she didn't hear me the first time…
"Yeah," Rika nodded, deciding to table this conversation for another time. "I'll…uh…see you later."
"Right," Takato smiled, visibly relaxing, which only served to increase her confusion all the more. If he had just confessed to her, then why…?
"Happy birthday again, Rika," he said, waving a goodbye to her as he started toward the gate. "Come on, Guilmon. Bed time!"
"Yeah, okay," Guilmon said, giving Rika a curious look, as though she had suddenly alarmed him about something. Rika stood there for a moment, watching the pair go before she too waved a final goodbye and turned back toward the house, her blush still luminescent on her face.
Great. Leave it to Gogglehead to give me something else to think about that's just going to drive me nuts.
###
A/N: The phrase Tsuki ga kirei desune translates to 'The moon is beautiful' and was popularized by the Meiji era author, Natsume Sōseki, as an alternative to saying "I love you." Rika, being surrounded more by the more classical trappings of Japan courtesy of her grandmother, would probably be more aware of this than Takato, and given her own precociousness would probably inadvertently leap to conclusions far more quickly over simple things, like Takato blurting out whatever comes to mind when he realizes he's in the process of sticking his foot in his mouth over something. One of the things that I've always enjoyed about these characters (with or without the shipping element involved) is how they end up making mistakes about what the other person is thinking or doing versus what is actually happening; the most obvious example being the infamous shirt incident.
I have no idea if I'm going to continue this piece. I had the rough idea for some months now, but no inspiration to see it through to the end until yesterday morning. I'm leaving it marked 'unfinished' on the chance that I get further inspiration for it down the road.
Until next time.
-Crazyeight
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