!WARNING!

There might be dragons!

Something of a foreword.

This story was written by an old fart (50+) that has an odd sense of humour and very clearly defined preferences. So you should expect jokes past their expiry date, adamant RxA support and sex and bloodshed in general. Plus OOC-ness at the very core of this story.

While I slapped a T-rating on this story the content will dip a toe or two into the murky waters of the M-rated swamp, especially once the bloody path that lead up to recent occurences is unveiled. Bear that in mind before taking a sip of this special brew. The finish kicks you rather nasty.

I'm writing this just in case that someone in the audience actually happens to be allergic to at least one of these ingredients. If that should be the case then I cordially advise you to skip this story. Continuing past these few awkward lines would prove to be a terrible waste of your time.

Everyone else please continue and enjoy the ride.

And just so you know, this story is already finished as of chapter eleven and currently undergoing revision. So, no waiting sixteen years for the last few chapters. (cough)

Dedicated to: Every single one of you guys and girls and people of multiple possibilities that still appreciate an old love in this melting pot of couple fads. And also to Kirsten, my girlfriend for the last 25 years.

Disclaimer: Maybe you have already guessed it. Or maybe you didn't. But I'm not Rumiko Takahashi. So neither is Ranma ½ my property nor am I able to live off my creativity. No money here! Lawyers begone!

And now on with the story.

This way please ...

Square 1/2

Chapter 1 : "Here's Ranma. Again."

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction presented by Ralf Martin

...

The plane touched down around midnight at Haneda International Airport. Like all international flights it had to come in during the dark hours when the inland traffic had come to a rest. That suited one of the passengers quite fine. Considering he was on no official list and in deep trouble if he got caught emigrating from mainland China this way.

Around him the ground crew began to unload that Cargo plane from Chengdu in the usual busy fashion, one cup of coffee at a time. He found his way around and through them undetected. Long years of travelling more cheaply than legal came in handy after all. Still, he couldn't help but pat his own back for a plan well executed.

His pursuer probably took the same route back that had brought him to China in the first place. That meant travelling by boat which on the other hand gave the guy sneaking around the airfield a head start of two week as a minimum. Maybe more considering thatother idiot's penchant to get into trouble if left unattended.

Oh well, it probably ran in the family the shadowy figure admitted to himself as he slipped into a save spot and started to work the chinks out of his neck. Once he had stretched and massaged his strained limbs sufficiently, he scanned the surrounding area for possible witnesses. When none were present he dashed for a Hangar in the vicinity.

He had a general idea how to get out of the freight area and into the passenger terminal. Once done he could simply hop onto the monorail train connecting the airport to Tokyo city and from there it it was a pretty straight shot to Nerima. And to the answer to his most pressing question.

'Am I mad? Am I cursed? Or both?'

A sudden spell of rain did him the favour of answering question number two in exactly the same way it had been answered every time the guy had been hit with water lately. And it was surprising how many times you could gethit with accidental spills of water. Sudden rainfalls. Exploding water mains. The whole shebang.

Well, maybe the guy got hit by it, but as so often in human history, the girl had to live with the mess.

So the girl in the slightly too wide clothes adjusted her backpack and looked up at the clouded sky. Shaking her red mane to clear her vision she took the sudden change in stride. Her only notable reaction a chuckle and a murmured "Welcome back to Japan Ranma."

Then she was off towards her destination.

…

It was a nice enough morning in Nerima. The rain of the night had drifted off to bugger someone else and the sun greeted the early birds with a cloudless sky. The temperature was nice and warm but neither too hot nor too humid. All in all it was a beautiful day in late April.

A lone girl came jogging down the street, returning from her usual route. She was dressed in a sweatshirt and pants combo, her long black hair flowing behind her as she picked up speed for a last dash.

As she rounded the final corner on her way back home the girl reigned in her speed and came to a trotting halt. It wasn't just because she had reached her destination. It was also because next to the gate leading to the proper of the Tendo dojo there leaned a young man, his unruly mane of black hair hardly controlled by a pigtail in the back. His lean, well-muscled body dressed in exotic looking clothing of Chinese design. Idly playing with a half-litre bottle of water as he obviously waited for something or someone.

'Wait, wait, wait,' the girl thought, shaking her head as she took note that a seldom used mechanic in her adolescent brain had just tried to come awake in a stuttering fashion. 'Lean and well muscled? Down girl, down. You sound like Nabiki.'

"Hello? Can I help you?" she asked instead of further continuing down THAT mental road. This made the stranger turn to face her and all of a sudden the girl wasn't so sure who needed help from who. Not that the guy had a face so gorgeous that it made her go weak in the knees. Honestly, he wasn't THAT good looking. Barely above average, honest. Okay, maybe a bit more.

Furthermore she was a Tendo. That name stood for something in this part of the world. Like respectability and dignity. A proud but heavy heritage sometimes.

And this stranger was just some random boy with a weird taste in clothing to boot. So any wobbly-ness concerning her knees had to be a sign of exhaustion due to her prior activities. Period. And anyway, what was the question again..?

Oh yes, she had asked him if he needed help. And honestly, at first glance he probably needed some. Professional help that is. Maybe some medicine too.

If it was humanly possible to show a hundred expressions in less than a minute that guy did it as soon as he laid eyes on her. She could have sworn she saw about everything from anger to timidity, from disbelieve to trusting, from hate to, well, the other extreme. Finally, like a slot machine with the symbols falling into place, he settled his features on a kind of hopeful elation.

After the dizzying staccato of expressions prior and under the scrutiny of his baby blue eyes she maybe, just maybe, allowed herself to be affected by the smile that followed. A little bit.

"So at least I'm not mad." he said completely out of context. His right hand came up and the girl took a step back. It wasn't an aggressive move but she wasn't used to having strangers intrude in her personal space. Letting them touch her face was completely out of the question. The guy seemed as surprised by his action as she was.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little mad," he admitted, retrieving the offending limb and using it to scratch the back of his head instead. "Sorry 'bout that."

Suddenly the girl felt the slightest hint of a deja vu nagging at her consciousness. Cocking her head to the side and frowning just the slightest bit she couldn't help to ask.

"Do I know you?"

"No," came his quick and simple answer, "not yet. Pretty sure on that part."

Then he slapped his head as if remembering some embarrassing.

"Idiot! Concentrate! Manners!" he rambled before snapping to attention and giving a slight bow to the girl. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ranma. I've come to challenge ... err…" His eyes fell on the bottle of water in his hands and he obviously tried to do a U-turn on that sentence. "Err.. to tell you that there's a challenger waiting in the dojo. For your father. Well, for the head of the dojo anyway."

The performance obviously fell short of invoking a sense of urgency in the girl as she stared at him blankly.

"Well I'm Akane. TENDO Akane," She declared with pride, "and I will happily accept each and every challenge that concerns our family's dojo!"

"Ach!" she heard that Ranma guy sigh theatrically with slumped shoulders and bowed head, "I was afraid ya'd say that."

…

Akane lead the visitor through the yard and to where the dojo proudly greeted the rising sun.

This was her domain.

Her home within her home.

The dojo stood for the heritage that lay behind her and the future she wanted to build. She loved the smell of the aged wood and the oil used for its care. The feel of the tatami mats under her feet. The ideals that lay at its very foundation.

Strength.

Integrity.

Pride.

And compassion for those weaker than oneself.

A cynic might note at this point that Akane definitely had to be self-taught. Clearly, the spirit of the Anything Goes School had yet to taint her.

As Akane reached the doors leading inside she slid them open, gesturing for Ranma to enter.

"If it's alright with you I'd like to change into my gi first," she said, looking at him for conformation. He blinked his eyes in incomprehension, the idea of delaying a fight for a change of clothes alien to him even though he was aware of such customs. Live on the road didn't leave much room for that kind of habit. Then again, her reaction was to be expected and he knew it.

"Go ahead," he conceded with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'll just head inside and get myself ready too."

Tossing the bottle of water from hand to hand Ranma watched as the girl retreated into the main building. Once she was out of sight and he had removed his shoes, placing them by the door, Ranma stepped inside the dojo.

A flood of memories washing over him as if they were his own. Which they probably were.

Home sweet home and all that.

…

Speeding through the house Akane wasn't sure if she should be giddy or anxious. Essentially she was both. Finally someone of her age to fight that neither asked for a date nor spouted poetry. That was a plus. A big one by her book.

Then again he had come to challenge the dojo. And while Akane had no intention to loose and quite frankly couldn't even imagine anything but an absolute victory, she still knew that theoretically there was a possibility of her loosing. Imagine that, her loosing and the dojo...

Nope, not possible.

The dojo, her dojo, falling was impossible.

Therefore it was impossible for her to loose.

Therefore she would wipe the floor with the challenger.

Therefore feeling giddy was the right choice.

Quod erat demonstrandum, you know?

…

Kasumi had seen her little sister passing her by as she went into the yard to hang the laundry. It was unusual to see her so deep in thought that she forgot to greet upon entering the house. Now, merely a minute or two later the girl was back, a yellow, gi clad flash en route to the dojo.

Well, that was Akane's usual routine. Jogging first, death of bricks later. So far, so customary.

The wild grin on her face was unusual though. Either those were some bricks to really look forward to or something was up.

Contrary to popular believe Kasumi Tendo was not actually an airhead. She saw things and she understood things. Only the conclusions she drew from all that were sometimes screwed on backwards.

"Don't break too many bricks Akane," she called after her sister. "We won't get a new delivery until next week. Make your stock last."

"Awww, the bricks are safe Kasumi," Akane called back over her shoulder, not breaking her stride. "Got me a dojo destroyer to beat up!"

Ah, that explained the grin. A fight against a fellow martial artist. Kasumi wondered if she should bring some refreshments over once the wet clothes had been hanged.

And maybe a first aid kit.

Whoever was stupid enough to challenge her little sister was in for a surprise. She was a sweet girl, honestly, but she also was a violent maniac.

Oh well, maybe Kasumi should call her father too, to make sure that someone was there to intervene if Akane went overboard.

It wasn't without precedent after all.

…

As Akane entered the dojo she found Ranma sitting in seiza in front of the small shrine in the back of the room. The bottle of water he had carried stood placed before it like an offering.

"You're fast," she heard him say as he stood up in one fluid motion. "Starving for some action?"

That much was obvious if you only took one look at her face but Akane was rather loath to admit to any kind of deficit in her practice. Like lack of any kind of real life fighting experience that went past the Hentai Horde (TM) at school.

"You wish," she quipped, wiping the broad grin of her face and trying for a look of solemn confidence. Falling into a textbook stance for the Young Karate Warrior (also a TM and something she read a few years past and adopted thus far) Akane motioned for Ranma to fall into an appropriate stance facing her.

When all he did was stand there with his arm behind his back and a calculating look on his face Akane felt a vein on her forehead start to throb.

"Well, let's get going," she heard him say as if ignoring the use of your arms equalled the most usual tactic in a duel.

"Whats with your stance?" Akane asked, a slight note of anger mixing into her voice. "Trying to give me a handicap?"

"Why? Do ya want me to?" he quipped back, cocking his head sideways in a show of interest. "If ya don't show me something good I might be forced ta..."

It didn't take much more to spur Akane into action. She leapt forward in a flurry of kicks and strikes, impressing the hell out of the air she moved. Less so of her opponent as he chose to just not be where she aimed for. But he was quickly running out of room to lean and duck back from her as she almost had him in a corner.

Huffing and puffing from the exertion she summoned her reserves now that she had her prey trapped. Drawing back her arm she released a strike that she knew could pulverise half a dozen bricks at once.

Overkill? Maybe so but he HAD asked for something good and she was getting dizzy from just watching him move like that.

Just as her fist shot forward like a comet set on annihilating the dinosaurs her intended target for extinction abused the fact that she had to lean her shoulder forward with the punch. One shoulder forward means the other shoulder goes backwards and so Ranma did the unthinkable. He pushed his chest against hers, letting the force of her attack carry her past him while tripping her with a well-placed foot.

As she fell to the ground Akane was in a state of utter confusion. Part because of the fact that she was so effortlessly brought to her knees. Part because she felt strange in the places that Ranma had brushed past. Part because of a burning feeling on her cheek.

Had he just... kissed her?

…

Soun Tendo was a man of many vices.

He had a habit of gambling, sometimes betting more than he could afford.

He also had a habit of drinking that had placed him in many a strange and awkward situation and for making stupid promises whether or not he was intoxicated. Especially if those promises meant that he'd get out of a tight spot.

But he also had some things to be proud about. One was the fact that he once had actually found love despite all his shortcomings. That love had graced him with his wonderful daughters. And he couldn't be any more proud of them.

And he also prided himself with the fact that he had gotten away with his "Honourable Martial-Artist"-act for so long that he had partially started to believe in it himself.

He had gotten so good at it that his youngest daughter Akane had grown up with the strong determination to follow in her father's imaginary footsteps. The only problem was that the techniques he dared to teach her were not all that powerful while those he could have taught her would have clearly given him away as someone not all that venerable.

It didn't matter though, Soun convinced himself. Akane was steadily gaining strength on her own, never losing her drive. So if one day a certain fiancée showed up, it should be easy to get her to agree to the engagement. Sharing the same interest and all that. What did it matter that she didn't know many techniques? And couldn't cook. And was a little temperamental.

Ah, let's worry about that once the boy showed up.

This was one thing Soun Tendo was also very good at. Leaving problems for later and hoping that they got sorted out by someone else.

…

Preferring to stay safe rather than sorry Kasumi Tendo had stirred her dear father from his habitual perusal of the newspaper. He had at first doubted that his presence was needed over at the dojo. For if anything happened out there he would still be over fast enough to call an ambulance for their visitor.

But Kasumi insisted that he headed over, claiming that the master of the school had to oversee all the challenges and insured fair and orderly proceedings. Obviously not only Akane had grown up untainted by the true nature of the Anything Goes School of martial arts.

When Soun Tendo arrived at the doors to the training hall he found his way blocked by his middle daughter. She was cussing something awful as she tried to get her camera to take even one good shot of the show taking place inside.

"...can't they just stand still for one &§ #:'*% second?" Nabiki hissed as she changed the shutter speed settings for the hundredth time. The girl knew that one good shot of Akane in her current state of dishevelment would earn a very high price from the likes of Kuno and the other fanboys.

Her face was tinged red and practically glowing. Her gi top had started to come undone and the spreading lapels nicely accentuated her developing chest. Her mouth was slightly opened as her nose alone did not longer provide the body with enough air.

Damn, that girl could be sexy at times.

If only Nabiki could get her to stop and pose for a second.

And that boy she was facing.

Not a drop of sweat on his face even though he drove her sister nearly to exhaustion. The worst was that he commented Akanes moves, pointing out errors in the placement of her feet or when she exposed herself while trying to get in a lucky shot.

Sometimes he proved his point by tripping her or pushing into her personal space. Or both.

Every time he did one of these things Akane blew another fuse and her breathing got more laboured, the tinge on her cheeks got darker. And then she'd launch another round of assaults with renewed vigour. With the same results. Again and again.

'Can't call the girl a pushover,' Nabiki thought with a bit of pride. After all, most people she knew would have learned their lesson by now. And the obvious lesson was that the stranger in the dojo was leagues ahead of Akane when it came to the art.

"Seen anything you like?" Soun Tendo asked, startling Nabiki and almost making her drop the camera.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, turning to glare at her sire. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I'm sorry dear," Soun replied, raising a hand in a placating gesture. "But lately I don't have that many chances to get the drop on you. So please overlook this old man's folly."

"Folly my ass," he heard his daughter grumble as she decided that what went on inside of the dojo was more interesting than chewing out said old man. "You better get in there before things get out of hand."

"How so?" Sound replied trying not to sound alarmed. "Did my little girl go overboard again?"

"Oh she probably would," Nabiki quipped back as she snapped another photo. "Only that guy doesn't seem inclined to let her..."

…

"Ya fine down there?"

The question sounded good natured enough and as a matter of fact Akane was once again lying on her back. Facts and tone aside it still pissed her off to no end and she shot to her feet ignoring all the little pains and aches of her body.

"I'm fine," she huffed, sounding more breathless than she'd like. Wiping her forehead with the gi clad arm, Akane used the moment to catch her breath without looking too much like doing so. At least her opponent didn't press his advantage. Instead he returned to a ready position in the middle of the room. He didn't say anything, just standing there with his head to the side and the arms on the back as if the last hour hadn't happened.

No sweat. No hard breathing. Totally relaxed.

Akane decided there and then that she hated that guy.

A lot.

At least she was sure that the turmoil in her head and in her heart had to be hate. Mostly hate, anyway. What were the alternatives if it wasn't? Unthinkable, right?

"Just wait," she told him with growing confidence in complete ignorance of the latest results. "I'm gonna hand your ass to you yet!"

"Oh my, Akane!" came the voice of the oldest daughter of the house from where she served refreshments to the other members of the family. "What language!"

Akane did an almost instantaneous 180 turn at the unexpected exclamation and for the first time noticed the rest of her family sitting in attendance. Now that could have been a great lesson in keeping an eye on her surroundings during a fight. Or she could get mad for no apparent reason. Tough choice there.

"What are you guys doing in here?!" she shouted, her challenger all but forgotten. A stupid thing to do in any kind of fight.

Suddenly she felt an arm snake around her midst and before she understood what happened the top of her gi fell open as the belt had been removed. Even as her brain began to process that information she felt her arms being pulled back and up by means of her loosened clothing.

In retaliation and to free her arms Akane leaned forward, aiming a kick back at her attacker while she was at it. Instead of connecting though she felt her missing belt loop around the ankle of her leg and her arms simply refused to slide out of her suddenly all too narrow jacket.

"What are you doing?" she screamed, a hint of actual alarm sneaking into her voice.

"Anything Goes School of martial arts. Name ring a bell..?" came the prompt reply from next to her ear. Way too close for her comfort.

"That's not part of the Anything Goes School you... Pervert!" This time more in a screeching voice.

"You wish," she heard Ranma comment next to her ear. And had she not been close to exploding she might have noticed the hint of remorse in his voice.

Suddenly her body was jerked backwards and to her consternation she realized that her leg was still bound by her belt, but so were her arms. Actually the only free limb was the leg she was standing on.

Unacceptable!

In desperation she tried to cave in his nose with the back of her head but the guy eluded her once more. He shifted his position to her other side, leaning his head against the side of her face in a way too intimate gesture and factually robbing her of any leverage. One of his arms snaked over her shoulder and across her chest, the other one went around her side and held her secure. One leg was placed in a way that made obvious he could topple her at the slightest provocation. Not that this could make her situation any worse.

"Let! Me! Go!" Akane grumbled through clenched teeth, trying hard not to resort to biting his ear. Because that would be beneath a true martial artist. And because she had a nagging suspicion that this weird guy might actually like stuff like that. Pervert! Honestly!

"Gimme a moment, okay?" she heard him reply. And for some weird reason she considered doing just that.

Maybe because it was the quiet, resolute tone of his voice. Like a man on a mission that only did what he set out to do.

Maybe it was the way he looked at her. For some strange reason she was convinced that whatever he planned way beyond those blue eyes, molesting her was not on the top of his list.

Suddenly she realized that maybe, just maybe, he didn't even consider her molestable material in the first place. For some strange reason she didn't like that idea either.

…

Soun Tendo had jumped up the very moment that his daughter found herself at the business end of her own gi. Seeing that she was being controlled but not in any danger he relaxed again.

To tell the truth he was somewhat elated that his hand wasn't forced because he was not completely sure that this boy could be handled easily.

Maybe if Soun himself was a couple years younger and in better form. But these days he had refrained from training too much and most of the tricks he still had up his sleeve he'd rather not show in front of his daughters. So maybe de-escalation was in order.

"Very well fought," he addressed the couple in the middle of the room. Looking every inch the picture of a sensei, wearing his dark kimono, the straight black hair and his distinguished features behind a proud moustache. If he'd held a fan with the rising sun printed on and majestically crashing waves at his back he couldn't pose more of a picture. Well, maybe sitting on a rearing horse. But you hardly get those in a dojo.

"I didn't even get warmed up," the stranger holding Soun's daughter assured him.

"What you mean by you didn't get warmed up?" Akane quipped, her sense of self easily blocking out facts and the obvious in general.

"All I'm saying is that I can do better," he replied unimpressed by her irritation. "Can you?"

"I'll show you what I can do," his captive exclaimed, starting her struggle for freedom anew. "Just release me already."

"Maybe later," was all she got out of Ranma before he gripped her tighter, restricting what little room to wriggle she had left.

Then his attention wandered back to her father.

"Nice setup ya've got here Mr. Tendo," he said in a conversational tone. "This place was your wives (*) dowry I recon?"

"Actually, it was," Soun Tendo admitted, a slight frown creasing his features. What a strange way to start a conversation. "My wife's family had been martial artists for generations. Sadly they had turned away from that tradition. Only my darling was still determined to keep that art alive. That was one of the reasons that parents were more than happy to accept me into the family due to my training."

"Yeah, bet they did," the guy behind his daughter snorted. "An' I bet they knew who exactly ya master was, right? I mean, judging by the fact that he had quite the reputation in certain circles..."

"My master?" Soun asked innocently, a huge drop of sweat forming on his forehead. "What has my old master to do with anything?"

"What has his old master to do with anything?" Akane echoed from the side-lines.

"You'll know when you meet him," Ranma assured her, his facial expression making evident that he didn't expect her to enjoy that experience.

"What do you mean 'When she'll meet him'?" Soun inquired, his nervousness getting more pronounced. "The master is dead! He died many years ago!"

"Dead? Seriously? Ya didn't even check if he was dead under that big lump of rock!" he got snapped at right back. "Ya wanna make sure that someone like Happosai dies, you cut out his heart. If he's even got one. Anything less is gonna delay him at best. YOU of all people should know that."

"Ridiculous! Ridiculous!" the oh-so honourable master of the house practically screeched. "He's dead! Dead, dead, DEAD!"

"What's gotten into him?" Akane asked in wonder, the general ruckus diverting her from her current predicament.

"Happosai got that effect on people. I'd wish ya'd never have to find out ya'self, but…" She felt her captors shrug more than she saw it. The sudden friction not altogether unpleasant. Not that she'd admit to that. Like ever.

"Ya think he's ever gonna stop that little dance?" she heard from next to her ear.

"If he's like that it might take a while," Akane replied, speaking from experience. "You don't think you could release me? The leg is getting kinda stiff."

"Sorry, not yet," came his expected reply. Ranma sounded sincere about being sorry though. "But I promise I gonna make this quick."

"Yo, Mr. Tendo!" he called out to the man that seemed lost in his own little world. "Wanna make a deal?"

"A deal?" Soun asked, his head snapping up. "What kind of deal are you talking about?"

"The same deal you always make." The boy explained coolly. "One favour for one girl."

"WHAAAAT?!"

The combined outcry from all three sisters made the dojo's roof rattle.

And one of them renewed her struggles to break free.

"What?!" came the suspiciously inconspicuous outcry of the dojo's master. "Whatever may you be talking about?"

"I'm talking about the deals you got with the Saotomes and the Chardins," Ranma explained slowly as if talking to a child. "By my count that leaves ya with one daughter extra. I help ya get rid of the pervy dwarf and I get one of them for a wife. Sounds about right, right?"

"What?!" the three sisters cried out in unison, no longer sure which male to roast first. "What deals? What Saotomes? Chardin? Doesn't that sound french? Wife? As in marriage?"

"Of course as in marriage," Ranma agreed from behind Akane. "How else do you get your hands on some prime property in Tokyo? I'm not even choosy. Gimme the one that's left over once you're done with the rest of your deals. I'll make do."

"You'll make what?" Akane screamed, suddenly more than uncomfortable in his embrace. But try as she might, he held her in an iron grip. Biting his ear off suddenly sounded like a much better idea.

"Does that mean we're already engaged to 2 different families?" Nabiki added from across the room. "You gotta be kidding me!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi agreed forcefully from right next to her.

"You don't understand girls," Soun wailed after becoming the unexpected centre of attention. "It is a matter of honour!"

"Actually, in case of the Chardins it was only a matter of getting out of a dinner bill," Ranma remarked while struggling with keeping the girl in his arms under control.

"A dinner bill?!" the girls cried out in chorus again.

Soun, now under the full brunt of their confused scrutiny was close to panic mode. Mentally he tried to figure out if he could get away with playing the head of the house or if he might have more success with begging for mercy from his girls.

Judging Soun to be at the edge of a breakdown Ranma figured that now or never was the time for the coup de grace.

"So Mr. Tendo, which one's gonna be mine? The housewife? The photograher? Or the little wildcat?" To make a point he changed his grip on Akane. One hand gliding a little higher towards the girl's breasts and the other hand gliding a little lower towards unexplored territory.

The general effect was that the girl in his grip started to buck like the wildcat he had called her. But only after making a sound that could have easily doubled as a moan.

That triggered something in Soun Tendo that hardly found any use. Something like a backbone. Preposterous, truly, but that's what panic can do to people.

"No! Not one of my daughters will I leave to the likes of you! And now unhand my little girl or the gods help me, I'm going to rip you limb from limb!"

His demonhead impression came up in all of its scary glory and for once his daughters were almost impressed by their old man. That would not prevent them from grilling him later on, but for now he had their goodwill.

"So you're not gonna let me marry any of ya daughters?" Ranma asked again, just to be on the safe side.

"No, no and no! I will NOT let you marry any of my daughters!" Soun Tendo exclaimed furiously, now on a roll. "You shall never lay your hands on my girls again! You will not speak to them! And the next time you set foot on my property I'll make sure that you'll wish you had never been born!"

Ranma looked at him squarely, hardly impressed by the ki the older man flaunted, nor by his threats.

But he loosened his grip on Akane, unbinding her arms and leg. He kept his arms loosely around her for support as he did so, helping her down to a sitting position where she could massage blood back into her leg. The glares she send towards him he took in stride, smiling at her ruefully.

"Sorry for that little number just now," he whispered low enough so only she could hear it. "If it's any help, I wouldn't be interested in any of ya sisters anyway." The way he intoned that remark hinted at the possibility that yes, there actually might be one Tendo girl that might have caught his fancy.

"What do I care in who you are interested in," Akane shot back in the same low voice. But still her expression softened, if only a little bit.

Getting back up Ranma turned towards the still agitated head of the household.

"Well, since it's kinda obvious that I overstayed my welcome, I better take my leave. Here Mr. Tendo," he said as he held out a postcard, "I'm sure my old man wanted to send this ya way. But since I'm already in the neighbourhood..."

Turning towards the remaining girls he snapped off a salute.

"Ladies," he said, a roguish grin on his lips and a quick bow, "good luck with the Chardins,"

With that he turned towards the door and walked away, out of the dojo and out of an engagement he had just successfully crashed and burned before it ever had a chance to lift off.

(* This is not a typo. It's a hint.)

…

A little later that day and a little more to the north-west of Nerima a rather attractive woman in what might be her late thirties (*) was minding her own business in her small but well-kept house when she heard something inexplicable.

From the front porch the voice of a young man called "Tadeima!" loud and clear.

Now it wasn't as if this Lady had no young man in her family. To tell the truth, she had a son of about 16 years of age, and had he been living with her that greeting would probably count as the most natural sound in the world. But there lies the problem.

The woman living in this picturesque house (**) was no other than Nodoka Saotome and her only son, one Ranma Saotome, had not been home for over 10 years.

So in the improbable case that this boy she, in her folly and blind faith, had allowed her husband Genma to take with him on an open ended training trip, should return home, what were the chances that he acted as if he never had left in the first place? (***)

"Hey mom," Ranma greeted his dumbfounded mother as he strolled into the living room and unceremoniously dumped his backpack onto the ground, "what's for lunch? I'm starving!"

As it turned out, those chances were pretty good actually.

(*- Important lesson about middle-aged women. They are always in their late thirties. Insinuate otherwise at your own risk.)

(**- Picturesque is french for 'Looks pretty but you surely don't wanna spend the night there'. Usually describes brightly painted houses with the loo behind the barn.)

(***- I fully expect people to read this sentence up to 4 times until they get the whole thing stomached.)

…

Back in the Tendo residence lunch had to wait. Or maybe it would be correct to say that lunch had turned into a barbecue. And the one being grilled was none other than the head of the household, Soun Tendo himself.

The man had a lot of explaining to do. About the engagement to the Saotomes and the Chardins for example. Try as he might, his daughters had a problem seeing eye to eye with him.

The fact that he had promised two of them to various parties was bad enough.

The fact that it took one of the involved parties to show up and blow the gig sky-high was what broke Soun's neck.

Up to this morning things like arranged marriages were a thing out of a history drama. Now suddenly the majority of the daughters were supposed to be spoken for without a say in that matter. One of them basically to balance a cheque.

Admittedly, after Ranma's little performance and the analysis of a certain postcard it was obvious that only the Chardins were left on the to-do list. Soun had denounced him loudly enough in front of his daughters. Going back on his word and then demanding honour from the other party might prove tricky.

But the very fact that their father had sold them off on multiple occasions could and would not be disregarded easily. What else had he conveniently forgotten to tell them?

And while they were on a roll, who exactly was this Happosai character?

…

Imagine a statue from ancient Greece. Maybe better even, from Italy during the Renaissance, when masters like Michelangelo and Donatello elevated sculpting to new heights.

Hewn from the whitest marble, a face featuring surprise and disbelieving joy amongst the finely chiselled features of pure beauty. The body, perfectly proportioned, as far as a kimono can betray the wearers figure.

Imagine that statue frozen in a motion between reaching out towards an unseen goal and covering her mouth in a helpless gesture, trying to stem a tide of raging emotions that was bound to break loose. The artist, if there had been one, probably would have laid down his tools forever after capturing this perfect moment in his most immaculate piece of art.

That was how Nodoka faced her son for the first time after more than ten years had passed. As if she herself had been frozen in time. Shocked by the knowledge that this young man who stood before her and the little shrimp that had run circles around her in his constantly dirty dogi all those years ago were one and the same.

It was a brutal revelation, hitting her like a ton of bricks, that this was what she had missed. What she had agreed to miss. The whole growth from sapling to tree. It had happened without her.

And now?

That young man standing in front of her, what did he know? What did he feel? He had called her 'mom' like it came natural to him, but was this to him anything more than a title? Certainly, everyone had a mother, one way or the other. But after not having met her personally on the long road from year 5 to 16, how could the word mother be more than a label?

„Earth to Nodoka, earth to Nodoka," she heard the boy's voice right in front of her. Focusing her gaze on him for the first time in what felt like eternity she noted a hint of worry behind his still prominent smile.

And what a fetching smile it was.

What a fetching young man he had become.

„Ya good mom?" that same young man asked tentatively as he reached out to gently stroke her cheek with the back of his fingers. I was a gesture innocent enough but still so intimate that whatever had held her in stasis evaporated like ice-cream on a beach during summer.

„I missed you so much!" she more or less gargled as tears shot forth. Not on a Soun Tendo level but still enough to leave stains as she sank into her son's arms. Luckily not enough to trigger a certain curse.

In Ranma's opinion, one breakdown a day and per person was more than enough. Also, risking cardiac arrest on one of the few people he truly cared for was completely out of question.

Telling his mom about the curse had to wait. But not for too long. He knew what was at stake concerning an impressively stupid contract and he had no intention of letting the inevitable drag out. He had a pretty good idea how that would turn out and it was a road he'd rather not walk upon.

But cradling his mother in his arms Ranma decided to let curse be curse and seppuku be seppuku. For now he had come home. Well, as much home as he was ever going to get around these parts. That with him having burned the other option, namely the Tendos, for all practical purposes. And rather spectacular at that.

On the bright side, he had his mom right here. And his dad was probably still a long way off and everything else would fall into place as the pieces of the puzzle arrived one after the other.

Ranma would wait and prepare. Which mostly translated to training. Training and letting his mom get to know him again. And eat mom's cooking!

Yeah, he knew there had been good reasons to come back home aside from the mushy stuff!

…

It was about a week later, give or take a day. It was a nice enough morning at Furinkan High school. Complete with sunny weather, chirping birds and, in Akane's case, a not too offensive Hentai Horde (TM) that could be dealt with in a timely fashion.

It was only Kuno, blue thunder, bla bla bla, that almost made her late for class. She managed to KO him though, just in time to slip into class right before the gong sounded.

For once she was already seated when the homeroom teacher showed up. The man conducted a quick roll-call before announcing that as of today a new student would be joining them. As the class started to muse about the obvious things, like gender and attractiveness (*), Akane started to get a weird feeling in her tummy. Or someplace else down there anyway.

The feeling wasn't without cause seeing as the teacher motioned for the newcomer to step into the room and introduce himself to the class, none other than Ranma's face came into view. It even lit up in a smile as he saw Akane staring his way. The other girls in the class were pretty happy with this newcomer it seemed, if the sudden change in posture and occasional check in a compact was any indication.

"Hi, my name is Ranma Saotome," he said, his gaze held steady on Akane. "Nice to meet you!"

(*- Seriously, in a classroom full of kids in various states of puberty, the first question will never be 'Is he/she a nice person?' They're more interested in other nice things.)

…

End chapter 1