Hello all! I've had this idea floating around my head for a few weeks, so I decided to flesh it out and see how it goes. This is based on season 7, somewhat. I don't watch the show anymore, the way they've chosen to handle Dawsey and Matt have been disappointing, to say the least. But I do see the main gist of things on twitter so a few bits and pieces of that will be included in this story. But this definitely doesn't follow the current storyline on the show.

Just a little note about me: I've been writing Dawsey fanfic for years, but I've never published anything or even shared any of my work with anyone else, so this is a bit nerve wracking.

The title of this story comes from the song I Won't Let You Go by Switchfoot. The song itself has nothing to do with the actual story, but it's pretty much the only thing I listened to while writing this first chapter, so it just felt right.

I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter One

"You want a beer or something?" The words slipped from Casey's lips as he walked through the back door leading into his apartment, the other blonde walking in after him. Shutting the door behind her, she shook her head.

"No, I'm good. Had enough at dinner." A smirk played on her lips as she answered, Matt nodding with a smile of his own. He went ahead towards the fridge, grabbing a beer for himself and deciding to grab a water for her, his body turning back to face her. He nodded towards his living room, watching as she pushed herself away from the countertop and followed his path towards the couch. Sitting down their drinks, he wiped his palms on his jeans as she turned on the tv. Before he could get comfortable, his phone started buzzing in his pocket, Matt pulling it out to see who was calling him.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back." He prompted, Matt leaving her side and heading towards his bedroom, no longer visible to the woman once his door shut behind him.

Naomi leaned back against the couch, her body relaxing into it as she looked around at her surroundings. She'd only been here once before, but seeing as how the entirety of her time spent here had been behind the closed door of his bedroom, she hadn't had the chance to see much more of his home. Her roaming eyes stopped their path around the apartment as she saw a photo perched up on the shelf above his desk. She could only presume that it was of him and her. She sat there for a moment, her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked back and forth between the photo and the shut bedroom door. Not being able to squash her curiosity any longer, Naomi pushed herself up off the couch and let her feet lead her towards the photo. Glancing back towards his bedroom door, she slowly grabbed the photo and brought it closer to her view.

Naomi didn't know much about her, about his ex-wife. She didn't even know the woman's name, Matt had never mentioned it. All she knew was how much he hurt from their ending relationship, and that wasn't even so much from his own words, but his actions. Anytime she was brought up, he tensed, and quickly changed the subject. He didn't like talking about her, so she hadn't pushed the topic.

Looking down at the photo, she didn't know what to make of it. She saw nothing more than two people madly in love with each other. They were wrapped in each other's arms, the woman's head nuzzled into his chest and Matt looking down at her with so much love in his gaze, his lips pressed to her head. She could see a smile on the woman's face, even though she was partially hidden. Naomi wasn't sure the couple even knew the photo was being taken, their attention on nothing else except the other.

Naomi knew nothing of what caused them to break up. Matt barely wanted to think about her, let alone explain what went wrong in his former marriage. The only thing Naomi was sure of when it came to the two of them was that they had been completely in love with each other, or at least Matt had been completely in love with her. And based on Matt's instantaneous reaction anytime she came up, Naomi was certain he was not the one who suggested their split. It wasn't often that she came up in their conversations, but whenever she did, Naomi knew Matt wasn't over her. He was still in love with her, at least part of him was. Maybe he always would be.

And a part of Naomi couldn't help but think that the woman didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve Matt's love or his heart. He cared about people so deeply, Naomi had learned that from the moment she met him. She could only imagine how intensely he cared for his wife, yet the woman abandoned him.

The more time she spent with Matt Casey, the more she was falling for him. But she knew he wasn't in a place for a relationship, not right now. Knowing that this man wasn't completely over his wife, he was in no position to start anything serious with her. She knew she couldn't force anything in this situation, she had to be the patient one. Hell, when they first met he wasn't even divorced yet. He didn't even know if he was getting a divorce at all. And now, they'd only been on two dates, everything with his past relationship was so fresh she didn't want to come on too strong, too soon. She didn't want to scare him off. She just hoped, in time, he'd completely move on from her and they'd become more than the casual thing they currently were.

Naomi was pulled out her thoughts of Matt as the home phone rang throughout the living room. Slightly startled, she looked down and saw it resting in its home on the desk, peering over to see there was no caller ID with the number. She waited a few rings, turning back to see if Matt was coming, yet there was no sign of his reappearance. Hoping she was wasn't overstepping, Naomi reached for the phone, answering it as she placed it against her ear.

"Hello?" She asked, her eyes landing on the picture in her hand once more.

There was nothing but silence on the other end, a confused expression falling over her face as she heard breathing but no one was saying anything.

"Hello?" She tried again, putting the framed photo down on the desk.

"H-hi. I'm sorry, I think I must have the wrong number." The voice said, Naomi hearing a surprised tone in their words.

"Oh, it's fine. Who were you trying to reach?"

"Matt Casey, but I must have dialed the wrong number." The woman on the other end of the line spoke again, her voice so soft that Naomi barely heard it.

"Oh, no you had the right number, this is his house. He's in the bedroom, do you want me to get him? Or I can take a message?"

There was no response to her question, Naomi only hearing a short intake of breath through the line before hearing nothing at all.

"Hello?" Naomi asked again, turning around as she heard the bedroom door open and she saw Matt walk out, heading in her direction.

"Sorry that took forever, Severide called me and-" He stopped talking when he saw her on the phone, looking at her quizzically just as Naomi heard the line go dead. She shrugged it off, putting the phone back in its place before turning to face him, walking back to meet him by the couch. The confused look played on his face as he stayed upright by the chair, looking over towards the phone.

"Who was that?" Naomi looked back towards the desk as soon as he asked the question, tensing as she realized she didn't put the photo back in its rightful place. She didn't want him to think she was spying on him,hoping he didn't notice it sitting on a stack of paperwork.

"I don't know, someone called asking for you. She thought she had the wrong number, but then when I said this was your house she never said anything else, and then she hung up." Naomi explained, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"She?" Matt asked, wracking his brain to try and figure out who'd be looking for him. And then hang up when they found out they had the right number. It was odd, to say the least.

"Yeah, I'm not sure who it was." She replied, watching as Matt sat down on the chair next to the couch. "I'm sorry I answered the phone, I probably scared off whoever it was." Naomi joked, Matt giving her a small smile as he waved her off.

"It's fine." He grabbed his beer from the table, leaning his weight back into the seat, trying to focus his attention on the Blackhawks game on in front of him. But he couldn't shake the weird feeling he got from the phone call. He wanted to know who was looking for him, and why she didn't wait to speak with him.

Casey sat at his place at the head of the table in the common room, tuning out the chatter around him. The newspaper was displayed in front of him, a full cup of coffee sitting to the left of it, waiting to be picked up. But both items were left untouched. Despite sitting right next to Herrmann and Kidd, he had no idea the topic of their seemingly heated discussion. He was in a room full of people, but he felt as if he was in his own world.

He wasn't able to shake the weird feeling he got from the unidentified caller last night. He'd abruptly ended his evening with Naomi, excusing it as him needing to get to bed for shift, and him having to wake up early. So she, reluctantly, left his place, giving Matt the time alone he wanted. It wasn't until she was gone that he had realized a private number had called his cell phone as well. He'd figured it must've happened when he was on the phone with Kelly, and after checking the number from his house phone, he discovered the numbers were the same. And that only left him more confused. Not only had this woman had both of his numbers, she hadn't left him a message or waited to speak with him. The entire situation was odd, and he couldn't stop from thinking about it.

"Captain!" Boden's strong voice broke him from his train of thought, Matt snapping his head up to see the Chief standing in the side entrance to the common room, nodding at him to come over. Obliging immediately, Casey scooted his chair back and stood up, walking the short distance across the room.

"Yes Chief?" Boden started walking, Casey following him as he saw Boden holding an empty box in his grip. The two of them stopped outside of the locker room, Casey already aware of what the Chief was about to ask him to do.

"I think it's time to clean out her locker." Boden said, Casey looking away from the older man's gaze. "It's been five months, and as much as I hate it, we need to locker empty."

"I figured you'd want to be the one to do it, take her stuff home." Boden treaded carefully, not wanting to upset his Captain. When he'd yet to see any reaction from Casey, he spoke up again. "I can have Kidd or Brett do it, if you'd rather not. I just figured you'd want to be able to sort through everything."

"No, I'll do it Chief. It's time to clear it out. Past time, actually." Matt said, remaining neutral in his words. He grabbed the box from Boden, the Chief patting his shoulder before leaving to give him some privacy.

Taking a deep breath, Casey walked into the locker room, heading straight for her locker. He put the box down on the bench, staring at her name scribbled across the ratty old tape. The tape that had been put there her first day at 51, the tape he'd walked passed every shift since she left. His right hand came up, resting gently against against the locker for a few moments, partially covering the messy writing of her last name.

He removed his hand, carefully pulling at the edges of the tape as he ripped it from the door. Placing it on the outside of the box, he turned back around, putting in the combination he had memorized years ago.

It took him a few moments to muster up the courage to open the door, even though he knew what was hiding behind it. Maybe it was just because it was yet another ending, another reminder that she had left him and wasn't coming back. Each time he thought about it, her abandoning him and their life together, it hurt just as much as when she first left. He'd hoped, eventually, the pain would dull, but that had yet to happen.

Blowing out a frustrated sigh, he pulled the door open, tossing the lock into the empty box. Turning his attention to the contents of her locker, it was just as he expected. Everything left as it had been during her last shift. The shift where her and Matt had barely been speaking. The shift where she informed everyone during roll call that she was leaving to help with relief efforts, and that they'd be having someone fill in for her while she was gone. The shift where she stood up in front of everyone and promised them she'd be back in a few weeks.

His eyes glanced around the small space, not lingering on the many photos that littered the inside of the door, or the ones she had taped behind the top shelf. He first pulled out her extra shirt, knowing how much she loved this one. He could practically hear her voice in his head, talking about how soft it had become from years of use, how she only kept it as a backup because of how faded the CFD crest had become. But how she couldn't bring herself to replace it.

Tossing it into the box, he moved onto her large, puffy jacket. He wasn't exactly sure what to do with it. He knew she had just gotten it, she'd only had it for maybe two months, and with the weather warming up she'd worn it only a handful of times. He figured he could return it, give it back to the CFD and they'd easily find it a new home. But he couldn't bring himself to do that. He couldn't get rid of it, not when it belonged to her. So he folded it up, tossing it in the box as well, knowing this box would soon join the others he'd packed up into the guest room closet.

He made quick work of the top shelf, seeing as it was mostly half used bath products that could be discarded, and all that was left was the photos. The memories that were covering the inside of her locker, memories she had clearly wanted to keep close to her. Memories of them.

He first took down the note Jones had left for Dawson all those years ago. She hadn't taken it down, not since the first time she put it up. He wasn't sure what to do with it now. He knew it meant something to her and she wanted to keep it close to her, those words of encouragement not far whenever she needed them. But did she even want them now? Did she need them anymore? Knowing he didn't have the answers to those questions, he slid it carefully down the side of the box, not wanting it to get messed up among the box of her belongings.

Matt started pulling down the photos hanging on the door, trying not to think too much about them. The photos of her and Shay, one of her with Brett and Kidd, a group photo of all of 51, and the many, many photos of the two of them. He'd quickly created a pile of them in his grip, pulling the last few down from the top of her locker. Before he knew it, the once full locker was now empty. Like it was never hers.

He glanced back and forth between the box and the photos in his hands, not exactly sure what to do with her things. Should he send it to her? This stuff wasn't like her belongings she'd left at the apartment. She was there, able to choose what she wanted to take and what she wanted to keep there. But these things, she left thinking she'd be coming back to shift. It felt wrong for him to just keep them, hide them away without knowing if she wanted them or not.

As he felt the photos in his hands, he couldn't help but wonder if she'd even want the pictures of them. Did she already have some with her? Or did she not bother to bring memories of them into her new place. He remembered a few days after she left, where he looked around the apartment, trying to figure out what all was missing, wondering what she had taken with her. And to his knowledge, none of their framed photos were missing, a realization that, at the time, had sent him spiraling. She most likely didn't want any pictures of the two of them when she left, so why would she want them now? But a part of him couldn't help but hope she had at least one photo of the two of them with her. He wasn't sure why it even mattered to him. She left him, signed the divorce papers just as he did, he couldn't understand why it was so important to him that she hold onto some part of them.

Slowly closing the locker door, he fell down onto the bench, looking down at the photos piled together in his hands. He knew he'd be better off just putting them in the box and forgetting about them, but it wasn't that easy. Matt couldn't help himself as he started flipping through them. Their smiling faces calmed him for a single moment, remembering how happy they'd been together. How he used to make her so happy. But the moment was fleeting, knowing that version of them was long gone.

His movements stopped as he landed on a single picture of them, from their wedding day. The smiles on both of their faces while they kissed brought tears to his eyes, Matt's memory bringing him back to that day. In all their time together prior to that day, he had never seen her happier than when he said 'I do', and they were finally married.

And that's part of why he doesn't understand this, why he'll probably never understand why she did what she did. How she so easily gave them up, like they were nothing.

"What happened to us, Gabby?" He quietly whispered as he stared at the photo in his hands.

He couldn't help but think back over the last few years of their relationship, trying to pinpoint exactly when they fell apart. He knew it wasn't when she decided not to come back, that wasn't what started it. If anything, it ended it.

He knew the year that passed since the factory fire had been hard on them. It had been a rough year, that threw a lot at them, and at some point during that time, she started pulling away from him. She started distancing herself, hiding things from him, and at the time Matt never understood why. It kept causing problems between them but she kept doing it. They would talk about it, Matt telling her how much it hurt him and how she didn't need to hide things from him, that she could trust him. And she'd tell him she understood, that she knew she could come to him with anything. Yet it never stuck, and he didn't know why. But looking at things now, it seems like she was doing that as a way to get space from him, like she was just waiting for the moment to run.

Matt wished he knew when he stopped being enough for her, when he stopped making her happy. He hadn't even realized he wasn't able to make her happy anymore until their last facetime call, before she had come back just to tell him she was leaving. He doesn't remember much from the conversation, but the look of happiness that shone on her face was something he'd never forget. She looked so happy, he couldn't remember the last time she was that happy with him. And that was a hard pill for him to swallow, knowing she was at her happiest without him.

"Casey?"

Matt's head snapped up from the photo as he heard his name being called, seeing Severide walking around the corner.

"Hey, man I was- oh shit, sorry." Kelly quickly apologized as he saw the box sitting beside Casey and the photos in his hands.

"No, it's fine. What's up?" Casey asked, tossing the photos softly into the box, placing the lid on top to hide its contents.

"Just letting you know lunch is ready."

"Okay, let me put this in my office then I'll be out." Matt stood up, grabbing the box of Gabby's things and exiting the locker room. Kelly blew out a heavy breath as he watched his friend go.

Kelly's eyes moved to the now vacant locker, seeing the marking from where Matt had removed the tape that had clearly been there for years. A part of him hoped the locker would be filled soon, knowing the emptiness would just be another reminder of their family member who left.

The abrupt ringing of his cellphone brought him out of his daze as he pulled it from his pocket, not being able to hide the look of shock when he saw the name of the person calling him, a sinking feeling filling his gut. He hadn't heard anything from them in months, understandably so, but he couldn't figure out why they were calling him now.

The constant ringing pulled him out of his shock, hesitantly putting the phone up to his ear as he answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Severide? I need to talk to you… About Gabby."

So… there's the first chapter. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in this story, but if you are, I hope you wouldn't mind reviewing so I know. I have the main ideas jotted down, but as far as writing goes, I've only written out this chapter. I'm currently mapping out the next few chapters, and I'm really excited about this story, I hope some of you are as well!

Thanks for reading! xx