AN: I own nothing. If I was going to do another NagiRio fic I wanted it to be funny and then I thought, "Yeah this is pretty funny."

Nakamura stood at the threshold. It was now or never. The truly defining moment that would either earn her Nagisa's love and the title of girlfriend of the century or make the following days really fucking weird and awkward. She held her chin up and walked into the store determination filled her eyes dead set on getting Nagisa the best gift ever.

"Welcome to Sex Sells how can I help you?" Asked the clerk.

"I'm looking for the porn section?" She asked.

"Magazines, DVD, or..."

"DVD." She answered.

"That way past the strap ons and lubricant right next to the ball clamps can't miss it one of the new guys will help you find what you need."

"Thanks."

As Nakamura walked through the shelves she noticed some oddities that she never even dreamed of. She knew people were into weird stuff like furries and scalies having orgies all thanks to tumblr. In fact a lot of her sexual knowledge came from tumblr now that she thought about it. She noticed some outfits that were of the obvious leather variety. As she moved further down the aisle she noticed what seemed to be halloween costumes of dragons, lizards, bears, and lions among others. She grabbed one of the outfits and noticed several orifices that were no doubt made to put stuff in as opposed to take stuff out. As she kept walking she noticed the famous ball clamps the clerk was talking about. She picked up the box and read the label.

"For when you want to grab your man by the balls!"

"Nakamura!"

She turned and saw Okajima looking at her in surprise.

"It's not what it looks like." She quickly put the clamps back only for the box to fall. She quickly put the clamps back. "Not... Entirely."

"I never thought you and Nagisa were into BDSM. Although I wouldn't buy those clamps I'd by the other ones."

"I'm not here for ball clamps." She answered.

"Well you couldn't really afford them anyway."

"What are you..." Nakamura looked at the price tag. "Wow $300 for that!"

"I heard the orgasm is well worth it."

"Right... Umm I'm here for porn."

"Well in that case we just got Blacklight."

"Blacklight?"

"Yeah the porn parody version of Moonlight except with more black cocks and more gay sex."

Nakamura remembered when she and Nagisa went to see the movie and was rather disappointed that all she got was a masturbation scene.

"Show me."

"Follow me."

Nakamura followed Okajima to where the movies were and to her amazement there were dozens, possibly hundreds more as she walked into a separate room. There was also a tv at the center playing porn movie trailers and the sound of a black woman sucking on an asian man's cock echoed in the room.

"So what are you looking for? We have The Walking Dead all the way to Avengers."

"Uh... I'm not sure what Nagisa's into."

Okajima hummed thinking about what the bluenette might be into. "Blondes?"

"I guess that's a start what do you have?"

"Well I mean I need more to work with there's genres upon genres of porn. Not to mention sub-genres as well. What do you guys do in the sack?"

"I'm not gonna answer that!"

"Well then I can't really help you if you don't help me."

"Well he plays games a lot."

"Mass Effect? Final Fantasy? Dragon Age? Overwatch? What are we talking about?"

Nakamura was dumbstruck as she had no idea what any of that those titles were. "Maybe some girl on girl stuff?"

"I forgot to ask live action or animated? And if we're talking animated 3D CGI or anime like?"

"Uh... Just tell me some of what you get and I'll decide."

"Okay I have the porn parody of Shape of Water where the woman is raped by an octopus. It's live action."

"What else?" She asked.

"Are you sure it's directed by Guillermo del Toro after he made Shape of Water he made this it's a fucking masterpiece it won eight Woody Awards."

"What's a Woody Award?" She asked.

"It's like an Oscar but for porn. Think of it as Oscar's missing... You know."

"Okay... What else you got?"

"I have the porn parody of Red Sparrow where the woman abuses her position of power to force three dudes to gangbang her."

"Next."

"I have... Transformers except instead of actual robots its..."

Nakamura raised her hands. "Say no more."

"We have Beauty and the Beast?"

"Not Disney!"

"Rule 34 Nakamura... If it exists there's porn of it."

"I can only imagine what Snow White is about."

"I like the director she's really good at camera work especially with facial cumshots and there are a lot of those in Snow White."

"I guess I'll take a little bit of everything and see what sticks... That did not come out right."

"So what will it be?"

"Blacklight, Show White, something with tentacle rape, something with interracial..."

"What are we talking about black on white? White on black? Black on asian? Asian on black? White on asian? Asian on white? Or you want some hispanic in there too?"

"Just... Give me your best."

"I have one called Bad Dudes where 3 men cross the border illegally and gang rape a Border Patrol agent."

"Jesus Okajima what the fuck?"

"It won four Woody Awards and was nominated in six."

"Fuck it okay then."

"So Blacklight, Snow White, Bad Dudes, Shape of Water, and... Anything else?"

"No that... That'll be all."

"Alright then meet me at the front and I'll check you out."

Nakamura arrived to an empty home with a bag full of pleasure and shame. She walked to the bedroom and opened up the 4K disc player and put in Blacklight. Naturally as is custom she skipped to the part where the fun stuff really begins. She had to give credit where credit was due the handjobs and cock sucking was superb and top notch. The way that man worked the shaft and played with the balls THIS was the Moonlight she deserved not that piece of shit.

She turned up the volume a bit to hear some of the dirty talk. As the black man was still sucking that big black cock. "Ah shit that's right nigger choke on that cock."

"Nakamura what are you..."

Nakamura saw Nagisa standing by the doorway shocked at what was being displayed on screen. Without looking she pressed the button to turn down the volume, but instead raised the volume.

"Ah shit yeah that's right take it all bitch!" Suddenly the black man ejaculated all over the other black man.

"Shit." Muttered Nakamura as she began to lower the volume, but not before the actors uttered those infamous last words.

"Now open up that tight little asshole nigger cuz I'm goin' in dry!"

Followed by. "Your cock is in so deep."

"You know what I'll just..." Nagisa closed the door behind him as he left.

"Should have probably just gotten him a game console. Oh well..." Nakamura then resumed to watch the rest of the film.

AN: I really do think people should gift each other porn or watch porn together. Porn will save the world because we can all agree porn is kinda funny.