Author's Note: This is another little timestamp of Kagome's POV from Tell Me I'm Crazy. It takes place a fair bit after You Keep Saying That. It'll make more sense if you read TMIC though the other timestamp isn't needed. Requested by an anon on Tumblr, so thank you!

Day 7 of the 12 Days of Witchyness

Title comes from Taylor Swift's "New Year's Day" because I am what I am.

Hold On

Part of the Crazy!Verse

"Are you sure this is okay?"

Sango sighs dramatically from her spot on Kagome's bed. "Yes. I've told you three times already."

The sass isn't appreciated at all; Kagome thinks it's wildly unfair considering she was the one to help Sango pick her outfit for her first date with Miroku. That had been a disaster. They'd gone through like fifteen outfits.

This is only like outfit number seven.

Kagome looks down at herself, at the tight black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. It's simple and it hugs her curves right, but is it too simple? It's New Year's Eve. Shouldn't she be dressier?

"Stop it, seriously Kagome," Sango whines. "I promise you look really good, and wearing a dress makes no sense. We explicitly had this party to keep it as casual as possible."

"Yeah but–"

"But you weren't all ga-ga eyes over Inuyasha then, I know."

Kagome glares at her best friend. "That's such a low blow!" But it's true, which makes the whole thing far more exasperating than it needs to be. She's already super nervous about hosting the party. Why did she let Sango talk her into this again?

"Kagome." Sango stands up, walking towards her with her arms outstretched. She's going for a hug and it makes her groan, hiding her face in her friend's shoulder. "Don't worry about this. It'll be fine. We'll have fun!"

She lets that sink in but doesn't really believe it. Hosting a party means making sure everyone has everything they need. Keeping that to herself, Kagome steps out of the hug and makes one last ditch effort on the outfit. "We're sure this is good?"

It makes Sango roll her eyes. "Yes."

"Okay, okay." Kagome laughs and pushes back the curtain wall of her bedroom. "Fine. I'll get out all the cups and stuff."

"Shippo and Koume are going to be here soon," Sango says, following behind. "They can help us too."

"Great! Putting the guests to work the moment they walk through the door. You're the best host, Sango!"

Her best friend glares at her but Kagome laughs some more. She's going to finish making their place the perfect party spot, and then she's going to try her best to have a great night. It's New Year's Eve. She wants everything to just go well. Start the New Year right.

She's not waiting for anyone. Not really. Waiting is a strong word. Just…keeping an eye out, maybe. Because it's getting later and later, and the boys of Corner House had yet to arrive. Sango's been texting Miroku like crazy but apparently it's all Hakkaku and Ginta's fault. Whatever. Kagome will just be happy when they get here. She wants them here.

She wants–

Well, seeing Inuyasha would be nice.

"Sango told me you're going to make your famous punch." The words are startling so Kagome jumps, whips around to face her friend. Ayame is watching her with those big green eyes, a small smile playing on her lips. She looks from Kagome, to the front door and back again. The smile grows bigger. "Waiting for anyone?"

"Nope," Kagome answers. "Just distracted."

"Obviously," Ayame says, but it sounds completely insincere. Kagome tries not to sigh. "So, that punch? Because I've heard it's the stuff of legends and I really want to try some."

"Oh! Are we talking about Kagome's punch?" Eri pops into their circle, her red solo cup filled nearly to the brim with some odd concoction. "I would love some."

The sheer happiness in her voice makes Kagome laugh and she knows she defeated. "Fine. Fine! I'll get the ingredients out. But don't complain to me that you're drunk off your ass before it's even midnight."

She goes into the fridge and pulls out the ingredients. She's got a handful of fruit in her arms when she hears a commotion at the door. A bunch of male voices start to flit in and Kagome realizes that she's smiling stupidly into the refrigerator. She needs to–

Wow, what she needs is to get a grip. She's had this internal pep talk a million times. Just because Inuyasha seems to be showing some form of interest doesn't mean it's like a long-term interest. And that's what Kagome wants. She wants to date him, and hang out with him all the time. She's not interested in just having sex.

Vaguely, she recalls when that was the case, very early on.

Stupid feelings.

Still, Kagome unceremoniously drops the fruit back into the fridge, shuts it and heads straight towards the front door. It takes her no time at all to spot him, to see the long black hair and near permanent scowl. She ignores the confused sounds of friends and disappears from the kitchen, bounding over. Well, maybe bounding sounds too excited.

Walks over. Calmly.

She's going to be normal about this. She hasn't been building this whole night up in her head at all. She's not going to see if any flirting she does seems to work. It's just a normal night with friends at a party. It'll be great. It'll be fine, just like Sango said. Kagome is calm, cool and super collected.

She is so–

"You're here!" The words flow out of her like tiny bubbles, unable to control. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Why is she so bad at this?

Smile. Just smile really big and pray that he's distracted.

Oh damn, why is he so attractive? It's honestly not fair. Why does a scowl look so freaking good? It should turn her off. It should make her think he's some kind of angry, moody asshole. But no. No. Instead, she finds him far too interesting and kind and–

And she has to say something. Anything. "How was the walk over?"

Not bad. Much better than before. A normal question between normal friends.

Inuyasha shrugs, but she watches the way his face seems to soften. His nose is red, just like his cheeks. It's stupidly distracting. "Cold as fuck," he answers.

Kagome can't help but smile at that, because clearly. She wants to say more but before she can even open her mouth, Shippo is there, hands out in question. "Kagome, where's the punch you were supposed to be making like an hour ago? I'm thirsty!"

She eyes Inuyasha for a moment and tries not to sigh. Hosting. She's hosting the damn party. "Oh, stop complaining," she says. Shippo is waggling his eyebrows, which means absolutely nothing to her. "If you want it so bad, why don't you just make it yourself?"

Kagome hears a snort from the distance, the sound very clearly coming from Koume who's sitting in the living room. "That will be the day!"

"Come on," Shippo whines. "Don't gang up on me."

Ugh. Why is it that every time the redhead gets sad, she feels awful? It's like some awkward, terrible mothering instinct, one the younger kid doesn't even deserve. She rolls her eyes, both at herself and the situation. If everyone wanted the punch so freaking badly, she'd do it. Shippo throws an arm around her and leads them both towards the kitchen. Kagome tries not to smile, but it's hard not to when he's blinking guilelessly up at her, the stupid idiot.

"Your charm isn't that great," she states, pointing at him.

"But," Shippo argues, dragging the word out nice and long. "It still managed to get you back here. So come on, please? Punch? Koume makes terrible drinks."

"I heard that!"

Sango appears then, laughing at them, her hands filled with beer bottles. "Shippo, do you really want to be on her bad side at the start of 2017? Because that's where you're headed."

"We can't all be perfect like you and Miroku," the redhead replies, smiling cheekily.

That earns a scoff out of the black-haired girl, but Sango just rolls her eyes at him and heads out of the kitchen. Kagome goes back to the fridge and pulls out the ingredients she had shoved in there before, bringing them out one by one. The girls all manage to see this and Eri is one of the first over, squealing. "Is it happening?" she asks. "Is it finally happening?"

"It's not that good," Kagome groans. "You're setting the bar too high." She grabs at the big punch bowl, stolen from her mother at the start of the school year, and gets to work. "Now when people have it later, they're all just going to be disappointed."

"Not going to happen," Yuka states. "You make the best punch."

"It's actually sickening." Kagome makes a face at Eri, who grins unrepentantly. "Can you be terrible at one thing?"

There's a lot of things she's terrible at. Namely, trying to date a certain someone who's still standing by the front door, talking to Kouga and Ayame. Kagome doesn't sigh. "I'm awful at math."

"Like you're getting a B instead of an A?" Koume pokes her head in, her arm wrapping around Shippo as she joins the conversation. "Let's be serious, girl. You're kind of perfect."

"That's not true, seriously." Rolling her eyes, Kagome plucks out the berries and heads to the sink, trying to wash them. "Ask Sango. She'll tell you I'm a disaster."

Ayumi hums. "No, she won't. She'll just get all proud and talk about how good you are at archery, and how you always keep the apartment clean and–"

"That is nothing like Sango!" Kagome laughs. She starts to toss the washed berries into the punch. Shippo keeps trying to steal one, so she slaps at his hand. It's only then that she realizes Inuyasha's coming over. His face is impassive, beer in hand, and Kagome wants nothing more than to distract him from whatever thoughts are bubbling inside his mind. He always seems to be thinking about something, over it again and again.

Eri distracts her, forcing her back into the conversation. "So when's this tournament?" she asks. Kagome was really, really hoping they would be over that whole conversation. The last thing she wants to talk about is her archery. Because yeah, she's good at it. It's the one thing she's super proud of, but talking about how great she is and what level she's at makes her uncomfortable. Kagome sighs, exasperated. "It's in February." She tries not to grumble, or glare. Her friends are just her friends, and they care about her. "And yes, before you ask, you can come. I'm pretty sure it's free."

"Kagome getting her Katniss on," Yuka says in singsong, grinning hugely.

"How original," she retorts. Never mind. Her friends don't care about her at all.

She glances at Inuyasha but he's not looking at her, studying the floor instead. A part of her desperately wants to say something, but what? Around her, all of her friends are talking about some sort of competition – not her own, something else – and she's stuck in the middle of them all. Kagome grabs the last of the berries and goes to wash them.

Once she finishes the punch, she'll find Inuyasha and they can hang out.

It's New Year's Eve. Only good things are going to happen.

She's touching him.

Kagome takes another sip of her punch. She has no idea how many she's had but the buzz hasn't hit her yet. It usually doesn't, not until it's too late, and that's why her punch is kind of famous.

Whatever. That's for Later-Kagome to figure out.

"Huh. Koume was right."

"About what?" she asks, not even turning around. She isn't pouting, not really. Kagome takes another sip of her punch. The living room looks like the place to be, what with everyone having so much fun, talking and touching and laughing. And there she is. In the kitchen.

"That you're pining over Inuyasha." Shippo isn't smiling when she snaps her head towards him, a little bit surprised. His green eyes are gentle and he's just kind of watching her, assessing. Maybe trying to figure out if she's drunk at all. "I thought she was being silly because I never really noticed but, uh–" He waved a hand towards the couch, where Nazuna was currently leaning on Inuyasha and telling him some story.

It couldn't have been that great of a story.

"You look like you want to murder her."

Kagome sighs and shakes her head. She turns around, making sure to put the living room behind her. "No, I don't. Nazuna's really nice."

"But she's flirting with your man," Shippo says, a furrow appearing between his brows. "At your party."

"He's not my man," Kagome corrects, "and hosting has nothing to do with it. Nazuna's a good friend of Sango's. It's not her fault she has good taste."

That makes Shippo scoff, crossing his arms. "Inuyasha's a dick."

"He's not, not really," she argues. She's about to explain all the reasons why when she hears something about her punch. It distracts her, enough that she ignores Shippo's snort of aborted laughter. Nazuna–

Nazuna's touching Inuyasha and leaning into his space with this big, beautiful smile and no, that's not fair–

"I'll be right back," Kagome says, putting down her drink and heading straight for the couch. Maybe she is a tiny bit drunk, it's hard to say, but Kagome doesn't stop herself from putting her arms on his shoulders as she approaches, feeling how warm he is beneath her fingers. She steps to the side, into his sight line and those dark eyes focus solely on her. She smiles. "There you are."

"It's you," he says and that lights up something inside of her that was twisting, dark and ugly in her stomach. She doesn't like to be jealous or possessive, has never really felt that way before.

But this?

He frowns for a second and she can tell just by the glassiness of his eyes that he's drunk. His words are still strong, but there's a looseness to them that's not normally there. "I've been on the couch the whole time," he explains, a little nonsensically. That is, until he continues. "You've been the one doing things and moving around."

Oh. Had he wanted her to find him? Kagome licks her lips, wondering exactly what was going through the guy's head. It would be so much easier to just know. "Sorry," she murmurs, "yeah, I've been trying to host. I'm pretty bad at it." A good host would have been able to see everyone, to do all the fun things.

But it isn't midnight yet. New Year's Eve isn't over.

Kagome makes a vow, then and there, that the night is going to change. Screw being the best host. She's going to have fun. "Do you want anything to eat? We've got snacks in the kitchen."

"Sure." He looks absolutely delighted, and if Kagome knew just how much he loved food, she would have mentioned it earlier. She smiles back at him, unable to stop herself. It falls when Inuyasha stumbles a little – clearly more drunk than she thought – and Nazuna grabs onto him again, making sure he's good.

She's a nice person. She's kind.

Kagome repeats that to herself and tries not to be stupid, jealous and possessive. None of those qualities are attractive.

And she wants to be. Attractive.

To Inuyasha, specifically.

She grabs his wrist the moment he's walked through everyone and drags him into the kitchen. He could probably do with some food, something to soak up all the alcohol. She gestures for him to take a bowl of chips, which he does, grinning down at them like a child surveying candy. It's adorable.

Miroku and Sango are in the kitchen already, leaning against the island with drinks in hand. The blue-eyed teen eyes Inuyasha the second they enter, eyebrows raising. "How drunk are you?" he asks.

"How drunk are you?" Inuyasha retorts quickly, shoving another chip into his mouth. He chews happily, grabbing more.

Miroku grins. "Getting there."

"What about you?"

The question throws Kagome off a little, Inuyasha's dark gaze focused on her once more. She shrugs, still not really feeling anything. Either she made the punch far too weak, or it still hasn't hit her yet. The second one is more likely. "It's hard when you're hosting. I don't know how you guys do it."

"Firstly, we don't call it hosting," Miroku responds, looking a little offended. "We just provide a place and a theme. That's it. Everyone does shit on their own."

Sango nudges Kagome's arm, smile sly. "Probably our mistake."

"No better time than to start now." Miroku wraps an arm around Sango's waist, pulling her closer. Sango doesn't flush but she bites at her lower lip, clearly pleased. Kagome feels that odd jealousy flare up again, and it's so strange. She's never felt that way before, not of her friend and her relationship. She's always just been plain happy for them.

Kagome glares at the punch. What the hell did it do to her?

"Inuyasha? What are you doing?"

Miroku's question startles her, just as much as Inuyasha apparently. He squints at his cell phone for a moment before putting it away, clearly pleased with himself over something. He takes another chip from the bowl.

But then, Nazuna comes back up, fresh glass of punch in hand. Kagome blinks at it and tries not to do anything stupid, like be mean or glare. This is– This is so dumb.

It doesn't feel dumb when Inuyasha opens his mouth and talks to her, like it's nothing. "What number of punch is that?" In fact, everything just feels worse.

"It's not like you're any better," the girl retorts, rolling her eyes.

And that's that. Kagome can't do it. Kagome can't be the better person, and she hates herself for it a little. This is not how she wanted the party to go. It feels like everything is slowly unravelling – herself especially, the way she's feeling so horrible by every tiny detail. It's not fair and she knows that's the childish thing to think, but it's not.

"We should all just drink more," she says, hoping it comes out evenly. "Sango? How about some shots? At least two, right now. Yeah?"

Because she needs to get out of this funk. She needs to distract herself. Alcohol is a super easy way to do that. Healthy? Probably not. Kagome's pretty sure she hears her mother's disapproving voice whispering in her ears.

She ignores it.

Kagome turns around to get a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. By the time she's poured them and lined them up, Inuyasha and Miroku are mysteriously gone. Nazuna is too. She tries not to wonder if she and Inuyasha are together.

Sango just looks at her, all worried.

Shit.

"Hey," her best friend murmurs.

Kagome shakes her head and passes one of the shot glasses over. "This first," she says and clinks the little cup. They both down it quickly and the burn isn't all that bad. She grabs the bottle of vodka again to pour out another.

"If you want me to tell Nazuna to stop, I will," Sango says quietly. Her best friend is standing super close, their heads bent together. Kagome's pretty sure everyone is so distracted in their own conversations that no one will notice her mini-breakdown. Or, she hopes that's the case anyways.

"No," Kagome breathes out. "No, it's not her fault. She's just making friends." That's not the only problem though. Kagome feels it twisting in her stomach again, this hot and horrible feeling squirming up. The words fall out of her before she can even realize they're coming, before she can self-evaluate. "It's my fault anyways. I was so wrapped up in making sure everyone had a drink or a cup or snacks and I just… Ignored everything else. Obviously Inuyasha is going to talk to someone who is available to talk with."

"Hey. Hey! Stop that," Sango stresses, nudging her with her hip. "So you didn't talk to Inuyasha, big deal. The guy probably doesn't even realize Nazuna's flirting with him. If he hasn't figured out that you've been flirting with him this entire time, trust me. It's all going over his head."

Kagome shouldn't find that funny. She still smiles though, amused anyways. Sango always knows the best way to make her feel better.

"Not only that, but everyone is pretty well drunk. No one has plans on driving home so our duties are done. You can still have fun. You can still talk to him. You've got time."

It's basically what she told herself, not that long ago. Maybe Kagome is a little drunk. She takes a deep breath and lets it out, feeling calmer. She smiles up at her friend. "You're the best."

"Eh, I try to be." Sango grins and then grabs the other filled shot glass. "Bottom's up?"

Kagome clinks her glass to hers. "Bottom's up."

She drinks some more punch and hangs out with Sango and a couple of the other girls. She has no idea where Inuyasha is, but that's okay. It's not even midnight yet, though it is growing close.

She still has time. Repeating those words in her head makes it easier.

"Hey, do you think we should head out?" Kagome asks, peering at her best friend.

"Yeah, I'll try to wrangle everyone together."

It takes a little bit of convincing, but everyone is down for the plan to walk to the park. It's pretty close and with enough blankets around them and alcohol in their system, they should be able to stay relatively warm.

By now, Kagome is definitely feeling the punch. It's pretty great. Her mood has lifted significantly and she's excited for probably the first time that night. She's got her jacket and hat on when Sango comes back with Inuyasha and Miroku in tow. Her best friend is the best. She's simply amazing.

Sango brought Inuyasha back. To her.

Grinning, Kagome wraps her up in a hug, unable to stop herself from laughing.

Sango giggles at her, holding her just as tightly. "You should stop drinking the punch."

"I make great punch."

It almost surprises her that Inuyasha steps in closer, looking at her. "Can I fill up the bottle with it? I haven't had it yet."

And that–

He's so freaking cute.

Kagome can't help but beam at him. She feels it, so big that her face almost hurts. She is not smooth but at this point, she really doesn't care. She's having fun tonight. That's her goal for the rest of the evening. Just doing things she wants to do. Nothing else. "I think you've had enough, but sure," she answers. She grabs at his wrist, telling him to come on and tugging him back into the kitchen. She fills up two bottles easily, having already done it for a few other people. She hands him the bottles and grins. "I'll get the blankets."

Inuyasha smirks at her, and it kills her a little bit. "Smart."

She's already mostly ready for the outdoors, so she picks a huge stack of blankets up from the hall. Her group of friends are all already ready and joking around by the time she returns, jostling each other as they file out the door and down the stairs. She makes sure to grab her gloves and follows suit, locking the door up.

Hakkaku and Ginta are both in a snowbank by the time she makes it down. She looks for Sango at first but finds both her and Miroku huddled together, a sort of fierce look on her friend's face. Well, never mind then. Kagome's not getting involved in that. She heads straight towards to Inuyasha, who's staring at his friends with a look of concern. Kagome's not breaking her promise to herself, not so quickly. Not on New Year's Eve.

"I have the weirdest roommates," he says.

Kagome laughs a little and wraps an arm around his, using it as an excuse to get closer. "Yeah, but you should have known that long before now." When he looks down at her, she smiles. "Got the drinks?"

"Got the drinks," he agrees. "Where's Miroku?"

"With Sango somewhere," she answers, frowning a little. "She was giving him shit about something. I think he gets off on it."

Inuyasha snorts. "He probably gets off on being told off."

Together, they move along with the rest of the party, heading towards the park. Kagome knows where they're going but she's happy to sedately follow the rest of them, letting everything go. It's peaceful, despite the rowdiness of their group. She finds herself smiling, enjoying the brisk air on her face.

"Did you have fun?" Inuyasha asks suddenly, breaking the quiet between them.

"Yeah. We don't really host parties often. It's a lot of work, but it was fun." The end of it, anyways. After Kagome got herself back together. "I need to–" She cuts herself off, not too sure just how open she wants to be about everything. But when she looks up at him, and the intent way he's watching and listening to her, Kagome decides that she has to. She has to talk to him, openly and honestly. How else is she going to find out if Inuyasha is the kind of guy she wants to be with? "I need to relax more. I should have done less for everyone else and more for me."

He nods but doesn't say anything. She doesn't really expect him to so it doesn't bother her at all. She leans into him a little more, enjoying the tiny bit of warmth. "How drunk are you?"

"Pretty drunk," Inuyasha answers honestly. There's a tiny little grin on his lips. "Kouga makes really strong drinks and I drank them quickly."

Kagome hums in agreeance. "Those shots went straight to my head after like ten minutes. I had a lot of punch too. My punch is bomb."

When Inuyasha chuckles, it's like the best thing in the whole entire world. She can feel his body shake with it, can watch the way his lips are curving up on the smile. He's looking up at the sky like it's given him something and Kagome wants to know exactly what it is.

Maybe, one day, she'll find out.

Weeks ago, she and Sango picked out the perfect place to sit to view the fireworks that were going to go off. There's a tree, just a tiny little thing but cute nonetheless. Miroku and Sango are already there, leaning against each other. She steers Inuyasha towards them, making sure he sticks with her even when she lets go to hand her best friend the blankets. Together they make a little bed, the thickness of the one blanket protecting them a little from the snow. It won't last long but Kagome hopes it'll be perfect for what they need.

She sits down and laughs as Sango practically rolls on top of her, trying to avoid getting snow everywhere. Miroku cuddles right in and Kagome wonders what they were talking about earlier, and if they actually were fighting. They've always seemed to strong together and a little moment like this just proves it.

Kagome feels her smile get a little bigger and gives Miroku a friendly punch to the shoulder. He raises a brow at her, confused, but she just laughs and ignores it. He probably wouldn't get her thought process anyways.

Inuyasha brings warmth with him, sitting down by her side. Kagome immediately tries to wrap the blankets tighter around the group of them, hoping to preserve any semblance of heat while it lasts. Alcohol will definitely help though so she grabs one of the bottles. "Punch time," she announces, undoing the cap. She passes it off to Inuyasha first, who takes it gratefully.

Watching as he takes a sip, she notices the way his eyes widen as it goes down. He licks his lips afterwards, staring at the pink concoction before handing it to Miroku on the far side. Kagome makes sure to look away, to hide her smile.

Yeah, she thinks. It's going to be a good night.

Around them, everyone starts to get more and more excited. Someone off in the distance is counting down from fifty seconds and it's getting louder and louder with each passing moment. Kagome takes one last sip of the punch and lets Inuyasha have the rest. They still have a bottle to share on the walk back.

"Hey Kagome," Sango whispers, nudging her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being an awesome friend," she murmurs quietly.

Kagome laughs a little and nudges her right back. "You too. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The moment passes, little ticks of time before Sango's smile widens and she counts along with the rest of the group around them. "Ten," she starts, "nine."

"Eight," Kagome joins in. "Seven. Six. Five. Four–"

And then there's Inuyasha beside her, his voice deep and rough. "Three, two–"

One.

"Happy New Year!" Kagome shouts, laughing as Sango throws her arms up in the air victoriously. Fireworks light up the sky, big and beautiful and booming. Everything around her is beautiful, and everyone by her side is smiling and happy. She swivels then, determined, and gently grasps Inuyasha's chin. It takes nothing for her to tilt his head down and to plant a cold kiss to his cheek.

She lets him go and gazes straight at the fireworks, not wanting to ruin the moment with studying him. This is her night. This is her time to have fun. The sky is dancing with colours and everyone in the park is cheering.

2017 is going to be a great year. She's going to make sure that it is.

Kagome can't help but give in, minutes later while the fireworks are still booming. Inuyasha's dark gaze is to the sky and he looks happy, peaceful. She wants to help him stay that way, if he'll let her.

Inuyasha must notice that she's staring at him, because he suddenly turns to her. His expression is open, and Kagome even wants to call it soft. She snuggles a little bit closer. "Warm enough?" she asks.

He's beautiful when he's happy, she realizes.

Inuyasha nods at her and Kagome shifts a bit closer still. "Yeah," he murmurs, right in her ear. "I'm good."

It sends tingles down her spine, a sort of fire running through her veins.

Kagome keeps that warmth with her for the rest of the night.

Happy New Year, everyone! Wishing you all the best in 2019. Here's hoping it's a better one than 2018. I am so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my little witchy heart.

As always, feedback is love.