Katsuki opens his door to find Ochako waiting for Kirishima's game night to begin. What he gets is dealing with his feelings and his pining heart just can't take it.
Kinda sorta Part II of A Quiet Conversation.
Also summarized as, Kirishima's plan finally comes to fruition. Though I'm not quite sure how he did it.
"Uraraka...ugh...hngh…" Katsuki whispered, concentrating intensely on the task at hand.
Her cute pink cheeks, her pale, pink, pouty lips, the feel of her grip on his shirt as she flung him around. Her determined glare, ready to kick him into next year just to win. These were all a bunch of tiny things that Katsuki lingered on about Uraraka Ochako.
She haunted him when he was alone.
Not only did he sometimes stay up at night admiring his imagined version of her, but as they started working together more often in their final year, he found he needed to find relief from his imagination way more often than he liked. Today was no different, as he stroked himself, imagining it was her, grasping him, letting him hold her cushiony hips as he propped her above him, ready to finally feel that thing that so many of his classmates talked about, but he'd just never made time for before. Though, honestly, he believed there wasn't anyone that would give enough of a shit about him to want something like that with him in any real way.
He and Uraraka had grown close over the past year and a half, but it just didn't seem possible. The months gave way to lingering touches, and what he read as heated glances, which fed his desperate fantasies that maybe she was just as into him as he was into her.
He wanted to tell her. Considered it on multiple occasions.
But he couldn't. He wouldn't.
Putting himself out there like that was too big.
So he'd stick to just being beside her, being her partner, and…this - alone, pretending he knew what to say to make her see him.
Where his fantasies began and ended with her saying she wanted to be with him.
**knock**knock**knock**
Fuck.
"Go away Kirishima!" He said, getting up and adjusting himself into the waistband of his pants, preparing to unleash a satisfying burst of his quirk when he opened the door. One would think after three years, Kirishima would know to stop butting in all the damn time, but apparently lessons still needed to be learned.
Palm out, ready to strike, Katsuki flung the door wide.
"Uraraka?" Katsuki said to her pajama clad back. Her loose short shorts skimmed the edge of her sleeping top, so oversized and...really fucking cute.
"Oh! Sorry Bakugou, I was heading to Kirishima's room, but he wasn't there, so I thought he might be with you. Sorry to bother you."
Bakugou tempered a rise in heat by clenching his fists. "What the fuck are you going to his room for?" Obviously, she could hang out with whoever she wanted, but how the hell had Kirishima gotten his happy little clutches into her again. He thought his friend's pining was over.
"Friday Funday! He invited me and the others for some game time." She said with a whisper, waving her gaming device.
"News flash Round Face, games are fucking boring when you're a hero, and if he's not in his room, he's still in the baths." He said, wishing any of his hobbies seemed more...social.
Ugh fuck that.
"Oh. Well, that's okay, I'll just come back."
Opportunity.
"Just wait in here. He'll knock when he's back. He always fucking does." He said, opening the door wide.
Ochako stared in disbelief.
In all the time they'd been training together, and were de facto partners, she'd never been to his room, at least not inside.
"I don't want to intrude if you're busy. You sounded like I interrupted something important." She said, wondering if it was worth coming up with an excuse to get away from him.
Kirishima would just tell me to stop overthinking smiled to herself.
"It's fuckin' fine Cheeks. I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to." He said, turning away to hide the burning in his cheeks. "Get in or go, just close the fucking door."
"Well...thanks! She said, stepping inside and latching the door out of habit, looking automatically unsure about what to do or where to go.
"Sit wherever you want. I wasn't doin' shit, just getting ready for bed."
"Thanks Bakugou. And sorry about earlier today. Hope the slingshot maneuver didn't mess anything up too bad. I really will get my timing down before finals." She said as she looked for a place to sit while Bakugou entered his small closet.
"No problem. Just a sore shoulder. Nothing I can't handle." He mumbled, searching for a cooler top to sleep in, which was really a pointless endeavor because he'd end up naked if he wanted any hope of getting to sleep, but he needed a happy medium while he waited for her to leave. "But yeh, you're gonna get your shit together. Because I'm tired of picking up your slack, that's for damn sure, and I won't do it forever." He added, pulling a tank top off a hanger.
"Roger." She mock saluted and turned to face his bed, hand to her chin, "You should let me massage your shoulder. The girls and I are gonna do a massage booth for the festival, and we've been practicing on each other! I can totally try my skills out on you!" She said with a grunt that caused Katsuki to turn and see her dive onto his bed with a belly flop.
"Uhhh….no." He said slipping his shirt off, staring in mild concern, holding back problematic thoughts. "And what are you, like eight?"
"Ha! Sorry, I should've asked. You just have way more cushions and fluffier stuff than I do. It was instinct." Ochako stated bashfully, crawling on all fours to turn and plop down on the edge of his bed. She looked up to see him drawing his tank top over his head, the lines of his abs and pecs on full, momentary, display before the black cloth dropped over it.
She dropped her eyes, embarrassment and a hint of something a little sad playing on her features.
It was almost the end of their second to last term, and Ochako was at the end of her rope. Her pledge to give up on pining and just focus on hero work was wearing bits of her away. It was an easy thing to put into practice, but the more she learned about Bakugou, and the closer they got, the more she thought she'd have to end their partnership for the sake of her own heart. She only had so many fake smiles left in her. And she needed to start taking care of herself.
Sometimes it just felt like she'd always be thinking, 'is it too much to ask to have someone want you back?'
"Hey, what the fuck's up Cheeks?" Katsuki said, slapping her arm with the back of his hand, and crawling behind her onto the bed so he could lay on his pillow.
The move was a habit, and he'd already settled by the time it really sunk in that he was sharing his bed space with Uraraka as she sat cross-legged, half an arms length away.
"Uh, nothin' just...really wishing Kirishima would hurry up." She sighed. Even if she could tell Bakugou that it was killing her to be around him all day, everyday, it wouldn't matter, because in the end, they were heroes first before anything else.
Katsuki winced, a slight frown and glare covering his previously indifferent looking concern.
Since when does it fucking matter to her if Kirishima was around or not?He thought, watching her fiddle with the edge of her shorts.
Was he really still that terrible to be around? Was it too much to fucking ask to have someone just want him, for him? Or would he be competing with naturally happy go lucky nerds like Kirishima and Deku all his god damn life. Why the fuck did it even matter, it's not like he needed someone to become the number one hero anyway. None of this shit mattered.
Fuck if I care... he lied to himself.
"Thanks Round Face, glad to know I'm such shit company. Hit the lights on the way out, will ya." He spat, turning to face the wall.
Ochako's heart jumped. "Wait, what? Bakugou, that's not what I meant."
"I could give a fuck what you meant Uraraka, not like I give a shit what you think anyway." He growled out, trying to smother the ache in his chest with his anger. He wanted to thank her for killing his usual need to imagine her at night. He was a sucker for deluding himself to begin with.
Ochako frowned.
She was used to him by now, and recognized that his outbursts were more reactions in the opposite way he was feeling.
She'd hurt him.
Scooting closer so that her knees were at his back, she leaned down to grasp his shoulder, and started to gently knead the muscle beneath. He momentarily stiffened, before relaxing.
Saying things to Bakugou didn't matter, he'd just throw up walls and up his defenses all day. But actions to match were an entirely different thing.
"Bakugou. I'll only say it once, and then I'll leave if you're still upset. But I didn't mean it that way. I've just been feeling kinda down lately, and was really looking forward to Funday with games, and music, and laughing, ya know? Just happy times. You're great to be around. But, it's…" she paused as she drew her thumbs around his back and neck in circular motions, using the time to help her think.
Katsuki closed his eyes as her touch intensified.
Ochako was in turmoil. Could she do it? This seemed the perfect opportunity to air things out, get some closure. She had to learn to be upfront, and take charge of her emotional wellbeing. Maybe this could even salvage their partnership, and he'd put her in her place like he usually did. Then she could start to heal and move on knowing she finally had a definite answer.
"...I've been thinking…" she sucked in a trembling breath that racked across her body.
The shift caught Bakugou off guard and his eyes darted around, ears perked to listen for her next words. He hadn't expected a conversation or anything that would remotely make her sound like that.
"...that...after the term, we should probably switch things up. Because...it's just getting a little hard to be around you, and as much as I don't want that to get in the way of our work, it just seems to be getting...a little worse…" she breathed out, heart shredding as she started to let it all out. She released his shoulder, judging it to be out of bounds considering she wanted to start healing from his presence.
"...and...and…" Ochako choked a bit on the tightness in her throat, sad to be bringing this chapter of her life and friendship with one of the coolest guys she knew to a close.
It was so much easier with his back to her. "...and I've...kinda liked you...a lot, for awhile now, maybe even a little before we started training with Kirishima. And I thought I could make it stop. I know how serious you are about being a hero and getting top rank. NOT to say that you even would think of me that way. But I'm just as serious, and I don't think I can really help...this, like that. It's a little tiring to feel all these things, knowing that it's not...gonna...ya know, be a thing. And so i just think that we should switch out to new partners, if that's okay with you." She finished with a big gust of air from her bubbled cheeks, quickly wiping a stray tear.
"Of course, I can totally handle being your partner still, if switching makes things too complicated. I'd just like to do less hanging out. I hope you can respect that." She added quickly, not wanting to appear weak. She really could do it. It was just a matter of wanting to, and what was healthy.
Still facing the wall, Katsuki could feel his heart throb all the way up to his throat and his ears. Mind whirling with the new information.
Had he missed...something? Her touching him, smiling across the room, being close had all just felt like a product of their developed partnership. Just nice extra perks that punched him in the gut everytime he shared space with her.
But...this whole time...she meant….
What the fuck.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Katsuki snorted low, half laugh and rage all balled in a huff.
Ochako scrunched her face, eyes closed tight at hearing his laugh, desperately trying to hold back her tears.
She took in deep calming breaths.
"This whole fucking time?! And I've just been...sitting here and wondering? Wasting all of it?!" He shouted, sitting up and rearing on her. "Why the fuck wouldn't you just tell me!?" He grabbed her shoulders, her watery eyes sparkling so bright in confusion he wanted to fucking kiss it all away. But Katsuki was so upset, it confused him too.
He wanted to tell her, but he still didn't have the fucking courage to find the words that would make anything come out right. "I...I….fuck!" He said pulling her to him, the barest gasp of, "What?", escaping before his lips covered her slightly parted ones.
Ochako blanked, only having the wherewithal to sigh into his mouth, tears sliding down her cheeks and onto his despite all her effort.
The delicate sound of their lips meeting sent Katsuki into a tailspin. The feel of it was like the completion of a circuit, holding them in place with the power of a current so strong it hurt, but neither of them wanted to break free.
He shifted his hands, sending one to Ochako's waist, and the other behind her neck, holding her close to ensure they connected for as long as possible.
Fuck, could he just do this forever? And never have to try with useless fucking words again?
He'd like to think so.
When they did finally part, the jolt was just as painful.
He touched his cheeks, feeling her drying tears.
"I don't understand." Ochako said, covering her face, pinkies up, wiping at her tears and pulling tight on her rosy cheeks, truly baffled by the turn of events.
Never mind, she was going to make him use words.
"No shit. I've been thinking I'd fucking die never having said shit, but all this time you could've just said something and we'd be…"
"What?! Wait a minute, why is it on me?" She questioned, pushing against him.
"It's not! But...c'mon Uraraka, IT'S ME! Who the fuck doesn't think I'm a giant scumbag? And don't say Kirishima, that doesn't count." He shouted, gesturing wildly. "I get it, I'm the asshole. A really fucking awesome one, but, I just never expect...anything, from anyone. What the fuck was I supposed to think?"
He gestured his hands in questions, "Do I go, oh hey, there's this girl, she's practically fucking sunshine and rainbows, and she'll fling you into fucking outerspace, or smash you into large buildings using your best friend as a bat, and that makes me wanna kick her ass so hard I could kiss her. And, sure, of course she'll be completely open to her partner, that's never said a nice thing to her, or any of her friends, in three years. Yeh, cause that's fucking reasonable Uraraka, really? I'm angry, not stupid."
"...you've...said nice things to me." She furrowed her brows, feeling a little lightheaded at his description of her, thinking hard to recall.
Tch.
"No, really. Things like, "You're the only fucking one with the balls and skill to do this with me Uraraka, let's go," and that one time everyone thought I'd gotten hurt when that building collapsed, and they were worried, but I hopped out and smashed the villain with a concrete slab, and you were like, "I knew you were a fucking badass." She said with a serious face.
Katsuki snorted with a roll of his eyes at her attempt to mimic his voice, and the way the curse words sounded.
Then he sneered, his doubt evident in the set of his jaw.
"I'm serious, Bakugou. And what you said just now! That's just how you put things, and there's nothing wrong with that. I...you...you make me feel like I can do anything. And I know I can, but your support is so unwavering. You don't tell me anything I don't already know about myself, but you put teeth to it, and remind me to stay focused. I love that about you, the way you say things, the way you are. Those are things that made me...fall for you." She slowed from her rant, fiddling with her hands in discomfort, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to settle her nerves.
That stupid fucking lip!
"Well...I fucking like you too. A lot." He grumbled, looking down at the blankets, alternating building up heat between each hand so he had something to do.
Ochako suddenly bellowed low, covering her mouth to hide her smile.
"I'm fucking serious!" He growled out, slamming his hands onto the bed, accidentally singeing his comforter. "Fuck!"
"I know." She laughed harder. "It's just..." She gasped trying to suck in air, "it's just that, I was giving up, ha! And now I don't know how to feel. I was ready to just let this all go." She continued, hiccuping throughout her statement, "and now it feels like it was all for nothing. All that time." Her voice finished high and raspy, cheeks an even brighter pink than normal.
"That...doesn't sound very funny."
"It is to me." She chuckled, her shaking coming to a stop as she composed herself.
Ochako wiped her eyes once more, sniffling a bit with a light sigh. Katsuki just stared.
"So what now?" She asked, a look of uncertainty coming back.
"You're gonna cut this shit out with your face and date me, dumbass." Katsuki scoffed, taking her hand, the twingeing ache back between his ribs returning.
Please just say okay.
"Seriously? Just like that?"
"Yes." Yes.
Ochako stared in amazement, and a little bit of fury. "You didn't say anything for over a year, but now, suddenly, you have the confidence to not even ask, but tell me we're going to date?"
"Yes. You get what you get." Fuck. Maybe he jumped the gun.
She let out an exasperated sigh, blowing a small raspberry between her lips. Lips slowly curving into a content smile.
"I'd like that."
Katsuki exhaled a breath he hadn't even known he was holding, and fell back onto his pillow, pulling another over his face so that he could grit his teeth at how frustratingly simple it had all been.
"You okay?"
"Yeh, I can fuckin' breathe now, thanks." He mumbled, sounding like he actually couldn't.
She chuckled. Finally feeling free to touch him again, she stroked his closest arm as he continued to smush the pillow to his face.
"I've been really fucking worried, for the past fucking year, that you would start dating Kirishima. At first I was trying to talk him out of it - thought you were gonna make my life miserable if you were around all the time. Then you invited me to train and I thought - well fuck, what the fuck do I do with these...things. That I feel. And how the fuck do I turn 'em off? And it never fucking stopped! So fuck this shit. It hurts, and it's sucks, and I think about you all the damn time, and it's just...I really don't wanna fucking think about if it's even possible to feel this way about other people right now. So, I'm just gonna stick with you, thanks."
Ochako's lips spread into a shy smile.
"Even though that sounds an awful lot like settling, i understand what you mean. Sounds good to me." she said with a pat. "Plus, dating Kirishima would be fun, but sometimes even I need a little break. He's like a star going supernova, just, always bright and on."
They sat quiet for a beat.
"So you're….my….boyfriend?"
"Partner." He breathed out, pulling the pillow away to look at her.
"We're already partners."
"Yeh, but partners-partners, for everything. So everyone knows it's more than just some casual shit."
"Oh, it is, is it?" She said with a nudge.
"Yeh, Cheeks, you got a problem with that? I ain't just dippin' my fuckin' toes in, I'm diving deep. You can come along or not, just let me know right now, so I can do whatever the fuck to get over it now."
Oh, he's serious. "It's...really early to say...things like that...and we're still so young." She said nervously, trying to think of this from many angles. Katsuki lifted his head, heart back to stuttering again, worried about how much control she could hold over everything with just her words.
She met his eyes, witnessing his vulnerability, a side he never really showed anyone, and she tried not to break a little at his buried sweetness. Luckily, she knew how to navigate Bakugou
"How 'bout this. I will...jump in with you. And I promise to be up front if it's a depth I can't handle, and same for you. Then, can you...maybe...promise to…slow down, and wait for me to get there?"
"And if you don't want it…?"
"Well, right now, I do. And if I don't, or you don't, then...we'll cross that bridge when we get there." She offered, keeping her voice even, trying to show that this wasn't casual for her either, she was just trying to keep her head on straight.
Ochako was witnessing a part of Bakugou that even he didn't know how to navigate. He was done. This was settled to him, and there was no going back. It seemed when Bakugou Katsuki fell, he fell hard.
His intensity was so strong, just like his quirk, and his personality, it was amazing he kept himself from literally bursting.
"So you might not later on?" He said, uncharacteristically quiet.
"I don't know Bakugou. But that's how relationships work, meaning, sometimes they don't. I'm saying that I want this to work and I want to try, with you."
He pulled the pillow back over his face, stealing a breath that shuddered like something heavy being dragged across a wooden floor.
Fuck he hated this. It couldn't be worth it if it came with all this uncertainty, all this potential for pain that he had no control over. He could feel his eyes burning.
What was wrong with him that he felt so sure, but she didn't?
His hands pushed the pillow hard into his face, cutting off his air, and he screamed a short growl into its softness, the heat of his breath making him sweat.
Ochako sat still, wondering if she should comfort him, or just leave him be.
Then he stopped. The sounds of his panting into the fabric the only one heard in the room.
Just keep it together man, you're stronger than this.
"Katsuki."
"What?" He barked, bringing his hand to his chest.
"I'm not worried. I trust you. I know you trust me too. We wouldn't be partners otherwise. This is just a different type. I realize now that I'd rather try than miss the chance."
And just like that, his body felt a little lighter. Her words the exact thing he needed to hear, without even realizing.
He could see it hurting more if he walked away, never knowing, acting like a coward, and for what? A little heartache? Okay, a lot of heartache, but still...
"Fuck that." He mumbled to himself beneath his breath.
"What?"
If she was willing to brave it, then so could he. He couldn't let her start showing him up now just because they were together.
"I said, me too." He declared, quickly rising, pulling her to him, and falling back down onto his pillow with her in his arms. "I'll just have to show you that stickin' with me is worth your time."
"No need. I already believe you." She proclaimed, pushing up to kiss him. "You're just too worried to see how much I want to be with you" She said before catching his lips with hers.
Katsuki's eyes popped before he relaxed back into her mouth. It was amazing. Like everything he wished for finally coming true.
Ochako cringed when she pulled away. "It doesn't feel weird to just...be kissing so suddenly? I mean, I just...i was just supposed to wait in here. Where's Kirishima?!" She said with a tiny panic, realizing she was probably late.
"Don't worry about me! We're just chillin'! Carry on lovebirds!" The redheads muffled voice hollered from the other side of the wall. A chorus of groans and yelling could be heard ringing through the other room.
Ochako could swear she heard Kaminari scream.
"KIRISHIMA!" Katsuki jumped up, pounding on the wall. How much had they heard? Ever?!
"'Tsok Bakugou! S'all part of the plan!"
"WHAT?!" He looked down toward a baffled Ochako, who shrugged her shoulders.
But it only took a second to think back to day one.
Kirishima talking about confessing, leaving his phone, leaving practice early, his stupid overly touchy bear hugs, day after day, week after week…
"YOU MEDDLING PIECE A…" Katsuki turned, his hands smoldering as he jumped off the bed before he felt a slap on his arm.
"What the…?!" Katsuki yelped as he slowly rose up, as if he were swimming to the ceiling.
"Everything's fine! I got him guys! Jirou, unplug from your speaker please!" She yelled over Bakugou's colorful tirade as he tried to find purchase on the walls and ceiling.
"Jirou isn't here, but okay!" A muffled yet deep feminine voice called out.
Ochako put her hands on her hips, nodding her head at her friends antics before glancing up at her new-new partner/boyfriend.
"Uraraka, let me down! I'm not fucking kidding! I'll torch this whole fucking room!" Bakugou shouted, eyes burning with rage.
With a tiny flash of light and subtle clink, Uraraka activated her quirk on herself, deftly maneuvering to the ash-blonde who was pushing at and scorching parts of the dorm.
Taking his hand, she pulled her body to be parallel with his, instantly shutting him up as she brought her arms around his waist, though he continued to vibrate with barely contained fury.
"How bout you and I practice some quirk combo control. We can stop kissing when you can steer us around the room."
Bakugou stared at the offending wall through which he was certain no one stopped listening. There would be hell to pay. And this girl was determined to make him play nice.
Not a chance in hell that's happening, he thought as a plan formed.
"No way Pink Cheeks. We gotta make up for lost time, and you did in fact interrupt my very important Funday activities earlier. So how 'bout we see how long you can hold on up here when you're mind is on other things." He offered a devious grin, eyes alight with heat.
Ochako gulped as Katsuki leaned into her ear and proceeded to tell her all the things about her that he'd been dreaming about for the past year. Providing excruciating detail about how he'd like to repay Ochako for all her unwitting previous help while nipping along her neck to punctuate his words, adding tiny yanks on her earlobe for further emphasis
Ochako moaned.
"Okaaay! I think that's enough of that...who's up for some Mario Kart?" Jirou called out, disconnecting the speaker mid sound, and staring at her red faced classmates.
Everyone slowly turned their attention to the tv, or turned on a handheld device, except Kirishima, who wiped a single tear from his eye with a sharp grin and said, "It's. About. Damn. Time."