Last but not least!

Not much to say, enjoy.

Chapter Sixteen: Memories

Present

"Hey Juv. What's up? I'm early today, I know."

Gray took his usual seat next to his sleeping beauty and continued his monologue. Juvia wasn't that talkative lately.

"Couldn't sleep that long. That freakin' flame brain drives me crazy. You might think Lucy'd be the one going ape but no. Pinkie's all what food are we gonna eat and what color should my tuxedo have - black or white. That wedding's gonna be a chaos, I can tell you. If it wasn't for Erza who's punching him in the face from time to time I wouldn't know what I'd do to him."

Minutes passed before Gray spoke again. He observed Juvia who lay in bed in front of him, taken into a permanent state of unconsciousness. She looked like she could open her eyes any second. Though, Gray knew better.

"What am I even talking about...", he whispered to himself.

"You probably don't get a single word I'm saying. This is useless." He took a deep, wobbly breath and inspected his folded hands down in his lap. It was hard to see his girlfriend like that. Yet, it was all he had left of her. A faded shadow of what one could call Juvia Lockser, a buoyant and cheerful mage of Fairy Tail. Everyday Gray would visit her at the hospital, talk to her and retain the possibility that one day she'd answer to his narrations. That a miracle would occur.

He looked up to meet his girlfriend's numb body. Her hair was spread out underneath her head, her arms lay next to her body on top of the sheets that covered her from her waist downwards. Her chest moved up and down, slowly but consistantly. She was as beautiful as ever and seemed at peace. But it had been a long time since Gray had seen her awake. She was trapped in an isolated state and what bothered him the most was the tube that connected her lungs with the respiratory machine. The one and only thing that parted her from complete demise.

"You know, after Maravilla had treated you, those months - we were finally able to live in peace. Not thinking what might be or not be. No worries, no stupid fights. Yeah, yeah, I know. We had disagreements. Like, when you wanted to infiltrate my bedroom with your silly plushies or when you freaked out around Christmas time..."

December, fourteen months ago

"Gray-sama, where did you move the box? The one with lametta and fairy lights in it."

"Juvia, I didn't touch anything. I told you - you wanna make a winter wonderland out of this place you gotta do it yourself."

God, how frustrating men could be! Juvia crossed her arms and gave Gray a provoking glare. Said man however leaned against his kitchen unit and stirred his coffee.

"What?" He asked unfazed. He had made it pretty clear that during the Christmas season Juvia couldn't demand much of him. He would help to decorate the guild, he would buy her a personal and considerate present and he would wear that stupid dancing and blinking reindeer sweater she had made for him. But he would definitely not help her turning their apartment into Santa's second home.

Yes, their apartment as in Gray's former one. As the months went by it turned out to be inevitable for Juvia to move in. Actually, the girl had moved in the same day she had been discharged from hospital. Ever since that day, or to be precise, that night they had been inseparable.

The second Gray wrapped his arms around his Juvia, the one that he originally had fallen for, he did not let go of her until the next morning. He had held her hand during her final examination, they had walked home hand in hand and they had spooned throughout the rest of the night.

"You said you'd like it if we put some christmas decoration here and there." To defend her position Juvia put on her cutest puppy eyes and approached Gray, wrapping her arms around his waist. Gray still wasn't much affected though.

"No, what I said is that you can do whatever you want since I won't be able to convince you otherwise anyway. But I won't lift a finger and help. This was your idea."

Finished stirring, Gray took a sip of his drink and ignored the girl's efforts to persuade him.

"Gray-sama, you're being mean!" That was when an idea crossed Juvia's mind. If something propitiated Gray it was body language.

"Maybe I can bring you around one way or another." She let her hands slide underneath Gray's shirt and stroked his well-defined belly.

"Won't work. If I want sex I can have it anyway. And you know it." Game, set and match to Gray. Yes, he liked Juvia's body and he enjoyed being seduced, but Juvia was the one even more addicted to physical contact and intimacy. He had won that round.

Gray couldn't help but chuckle over that memory. Not only had Juvia taken care of all the Christmas preparations herself. No, she had also given Gray a delicious treat that day. Once she had started to undress him she couldn't contain herself any more.

The ice wizard faced Juvia's face again, hardly able to suppress tears from filling his fluttering eyes.

"You know, you look ridiculous when you try to look all serious. You frown and you cross your arms - always. But you still have those big innocent eyes and we both know that whatever lame threat you speak you can't keep up to it yourself." Gray tittered again albeit his watery eyes.

"But I also know that, if you are serious about something, if someone hurts anyone you love or you're emotionally triggered, you become an animal. Do you remember the first time we fought? Your eyes were something completely different. Fearsome. Threatening. I had a hard time to keep up. And I think the only reason for me to win was because you somehow gave up."

Gray also remembered that day with all its details. The way Juvia had used to dress, to make herself up and wear her hair. She appeared distant, gloomy. Just like the rain that had fallen down on them.

But there was something about her. And it wasn't only for her water magic and their compatibility that Gray felt right away. If it had been anyone else who had threatened Lucy Gray would certainly not have stopped at the point where Juvia had lain on the ground. Though, as soon as the sky had cleared up her eyes had done the same. And the fight was over. Juvia passed out, beaten. She no longer was the enemy.

"I didn't believe you when you first told me that you loved me. It didn't make sense. We didn't know each other back then. You had no idea what I went through in my life and I didn't know of your history as well. You clung to me whenever we met, you made me feel very uncomfortable with all your advances and you were so jealous of all the Fairy Tail girls. But-"

It was then when the first tear left his eyes, slowly passing down his cheek and unto his folded hands. Yes, Juvia had been a pain in the ass in the beginning, embarrassing him many times. But she was also the first person to awaken feelings Gray didn't know he could have.

"But I don't know how, or why. Somehow you sneaked in."

January, thirteen months ago

Team Natsu had finished a job and the gang was on their way towards Crocus' main station. In the meantime, as they had an hour left to spend there, the group split up to fulfill dirfferent interests. Erza, Lucy and Wendy went souvenir shopping and the guys searched for some snacks for the ride.

Natsu and Happy, immersed into chitchat, were ahead of Gray but stopped and turned to search for him when he didn't respond to an insult Natsu had made.

"Yo ice pants, what's takin' you so long?" Gray was glued to a shop window a few meters from them, still not reacting to Natsu's words. He gnashed his teeth and ran towards him. Man, he was hungry. How dare Gray slowed them down.

"Hey, earth to ice princess!", the fire mage yelled, waving a hand in front of Gray's face. And finally, he faced his friends and replied, though his voice was nothing angry alike because of Natsu's attack. Quite the opposite, he wore a pensive face.

"Hey Natsu, do you think Lucy's the one for you?" Natsu was caught off guard, utterly. Where did that come from? He blinked a few times but still couldn't get it.

"What?"

"I mean, you wanna grow old with her, have a family and stuff, don't cha?" The pink haired man scratched the back of his head and struggled for words. Why the fuck would his friend start that kind of talk out of the blue? In the middle of a crowded pedestrian area of all places!

"Yeah, sure. Never thought that far into the future, though." From the corner of his eye Natsu peeked at the store they were standing in front of. And that was when it hit him like one of Erza's strikes. It was a jewelry store and the items Gray had been staring at were wedding rings!

"Wait, you wanna propose to Juvia?", Natsu exclaimed, eyes wide open, which irritated Gray and caused him to blush. What did Natsu know anyway? For a moment Gray thought of dropping the topic. But he wanted to consult him in that matter, the dragon slayer was his best friend after all.

"You think it's too early?"

"No, it's just.. What do I say?" Natsu was speechless again. After their tough mission all his systems had shut down. All he could think of was eat, sleep, eat, repeat. Nothing more, nothing less. And before he could even give Gray his opinion he cut him off.

"Yeah, it's too early to think about it, I know-" Gray was about to pass Natsu when he was grabbed by his shoulder.

"No! That's not it!" Anything regarding Juvia was important to Gray. He deserved an advice. So Natsu smiled and took his friend into a crushing hug.

"Maaan, congratulations! Of course it's not too early, go for it! I'm all fired up for you!" Apart from being so close to Natsu (because, man, had they ever been in such a close embrace?) it felt very supportive to have Natsu on his side. And thankfully, the girls were nowhere near. How would they have reacted? Gray didn't want to know...

"Thanks." Still, hugging Natsu... for that long! Gray did a ten count but then decided enough was enough.

"Okay, stop the soppiness fire breath! Mind to back off?"

"What are you sayin'? I'm just being a friend and hopefully your best man, you asshole!"

Gray had reached the point where it was useless to fight his sobbing. Many tears ran down his tired face. Tired of ignorance. Numbness. Loneliness. His voice became fragile, faltering. He felt so useless.

"It's been a year now, Juvia. A full year." Twelve months earlier and Gray had called himself the luckiest man on earth. A gorgeous girl next to him everytime he woke up, dreams, a future. What he had left now was none of those things. What was left was the ring he had bought that day. He had brought it with him and pulled it out of his pants pocket. Looking down at it he covered the shiny little piece with his tears. The ring possessed a tiny pale pink colored stone, not a blue one. Gray knew Juvia liked that color as much as blue but hesitated to wear it more often since she persuaded herself it didn't go well with her hair. What bullshit Gray thought.

"I never had the chance to ask you. I got you a ring, but I could never ask you if you'd like to become Juvia Fullbuster."

The shivering man fiddled with the item in his hands. Juvia Fullbuster. The girl he loved so much in addition to his last name. What he'd give to experience that happening, his proposal, their wedding...

He compressed his eye lids for some seconds and clutched at the ring for support, though the steadily stream that wetted his cheeks continued nevertheless.

"I wish I could see your surprised face if I did. I bet you'd scream and jump on me. Or maybe you'd see it coming? You always knew me better than I did myself. I could live with a simple 'yes' as well. The main thing would be that we're together."

A regretful shiver ran down Gray's spine. He pictured that fateful night very well. That night when he had returned from a mission and promised to call as soon as he got back.

He had not called.

He had not listened to Juvia's voice mail.

He had kept her waiting.

"You've always been there for me. Always. And were was I when you needed me? This would have never happened. You wouldn't have taken that stupid mission, you would've never lost your memories to begin with if I had called you right away!"

"Why didn't I call you?", he spoke under his breath. It was a frequent question those past twelve months.

"Why?...", he sniveled. Gray wondered, had there ever been a time his emotions had run that wildly and uncontrollably? His face felt like he had caught a fever, eyes reddened and watery, a runny nose, torrid ears. Yet he was shaking all over. He hated his miserable life, his whole being and that very day for what was about to come. For what he had to do to set them free. For her, for himself. Which braught him back to that day when it happened. When he had lost her once and for all.

"We were finally happy, you got your memories back, but..."

February, twelve months ago

Gray opened the door to his and Juvia's apartment after a stressful mission. It was already past ten in the evening. But he knew his girlfriend. She'd wait for him with a delicious meal ready to be eaten up.

"Hey, I'm home. What's for dinner? I'm starving!"

No response.

"Juvia?"

Gray walked to the kitchen where he suspected Juvia to still prepare their dinner since she wasn't in the living room.

"Juv-"

He caughed her right away. Collapsed on the floor. His eyes widened in horror.

"JUVIA!" He ran to her and took her by her shoulders, shaking her.

"HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? DO YOU HEAR ME?" Gray kept on shaking, praying she would open her eyes.

"WAKE UP, TALK TO ME!" For a moment the wizard stood still, motionless and clueless what to do.

"FUCK!"

It all happened so fast, Gray only remembered puzzles of pictures afterwards. What he did recall was that he took Juvia's unconscious body to the hospital. That he screamed for help. That he sweated and shivered at the same time while carrying her. Someone took her, telling him to calm down. Which he didn't. He waited. For minutes, hours, days maybe. He didn't know. He walked up and down the hall. Scratched his head. Screamed again. He felt so much fear overwhelming him during that time. Something terrible was happening. He sensed it. And when a doctor came back, telling him she was still unconscious. And not only that. That there was nothing they could do to make her wake up again...

His world broke apart.

He broke apart, fell down to his knees and passed out.

"They tell me to let go. That you will never wake up again."

Maravilla had predicted that there was the possibility for Juvia to not make it through her treatment. And that was exactly what had caused her to break down again after a few months of peace. The demage on her brain was simply to much to handle. Not only had she fallen into a coma, her brain functions had also given up to show any sign of work, she had been diagnosed brain-dead. The only thing left keeping her alive was the life support system that filled her lungs with air.

By that moment Gray had switched his seat, sitting on the bed next to Juvia. His left hand held hers while his other treasured the ring he had meant to put on her finger. The quiver in his voice had receded a bit and his eyes managed to control the waterfall that had come out from them. He still felt like throwing up at anytime, though.

"Yesterday I came back from a travel to our home in Amefurashi Village. You once asked me if I could picture us there, still together when we're old. I can. I even thought of having kids. Me! That's how you've changed me! You scared me everytime you spoke of your own family with me. I mean, who would plan to have more than ten kids?"

Juvia, of course. That was who she was after all. Gray squeezed her hand and faintly smiled at that thought. Yes, Juvia was a crazy escapist girl sometimes. But she was his girl.

"Maybe one. Or two. I think I could do that. You'd be such a great mom. You always care so much about the people around you. You put them first. Always. I think with your help even I could be a good dad."

Gray thought of his old man's last words, that he had told him he was proud of his son. That he had grown into a fine man. And indeed he had. His friends, his Fairy Tail family had helped him, most of all - Juvia. To be happy. To accept himself and accept her love. He really wanted to become a dad himself one day, telling his kids how proud he was of them with a beautiful woman next to his side.

"But I want to have a family with you, only with you." The ice mage surveyed his partner once more. How would their kids look like? Blue and curly hair like hers? With bright blue eyes or a serious countenance like himself? He'd never know... And that discovery gnawed at him, tore his hear more apart if that was even possible.

"I destroyed it, though. The house. I could never live there on my own. Let alone with someone else..."

Gray opened his right fist to behold the ring. The path he had to take in order to get to the point where he loved someone as much as Juvia, trusting her completely, longing for her presence every single day. How was he able to do that again after losing another dear person? How could he let go of her and live on?

"You made me promise to seek happiness even if it means without you. I hate you for that!"

He eyed her again and his stare at her became more and more intense every second, his eyes darkened. Suddenly, he felt so angry and couldn't control what came out of his mouth, clearly not caring if anyone outside the room could hear him shout at a patient. Why was life so unfair?

"I FUCKIN' HATE YOU FOR IT, DO YOU HEAR ME?" Again, his eyes released a hot flow of tears and his grip on the ring and her hand tightened. It destroyed Gray that Juvia wouldn't respond to him, not replying to his crying nor his yelling. No matter what he'd do, she had left him with his sorrow and his promise to her, a hurtful and self-destructive bid.

"Why did you make me do that?! It's like you saw this coming..." Gray paused and his accusing manner stagnated. Of course he didn't hate Juvia. Still, he felt powerless, hopeless. And everytime he felt like that he lost his composure, particularly regarding Juvia.

"What if I forget what you smell like, what you look like, your voice?" Gray's anger had vanished and gave place to despair, causing his words to tremble anew.

"I don't want that! I'm not sure if I can keep that promise, Juvia." That day Gray had come to put an end to their situation - Juvia being nearer death than life and him suffering every moment without her. The earth would revolve on. So would Gray. Even without his girlfriend. He kept telling himself that. However, the ripping in his chest was still there and it would continue to be for a long time after.

"You're the one who made me a better person. Someone who's able to let people in."

Those words were intended to be part of his proposal. And as bizarre as it appeared, Gray decided to give Juvia the ring no matter if she would give him an answer or not. He sticked it on her finger, carefully as if her hand could get hurt. That ring belonged to her and her only.

"They are worried about me. Erza, Lucy, Natsu and the others. That I come here everyday. I don't drink as much as I used to like the first months after your collapse. Still,..."

Gray's vision captured the life system and the socket to his right side. One last task to pass he thought. He got up from his seat and put his hand against the back of the machine where its cable led to, his thumb lightly touching the plug that if removed would send Juvia to the other side. The doctors and master Makarov dedicated that duty to him. Even Gajeel agreed that it should be Gray to do it.

"They're right. I have to let you go, Juv. I-"

In the end Gray considered if all the deaths around him, his parents', his master's, now Juvia's... if they were determinate to happen. It was easier to think that way than to ask himself what he could have done differently. They had come to him, given him love and had gone for good, leaving him behind. Broken. Confused. Depressed. But also wiser, stronger, more mature. Even if a voice in his head wished for never ever meeting them from the beginning to spare him his grief. How could he ever regret meeting them? If anything he'd always hold on to each and every moment of joy he had made with all these people. Especially with Juvia.

"I love you so much. And this hurts so fucking badly." Gray's hand, the one holding on to the plug, was shaking. Not ready to draw it out. Not yet able to hinder the machine from raising Juvia's chest.

"It's like I'm abandoning you. But I'm thankful for everything you've done for me, for everytime you've been there for me. And I promise, I will never forget you. I will never forget us."

And then he faced the ground, taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes.

"I will always preserve those memories."

Click.

Okay, let me say this first: I do not apologize for this kind of ending. It was meant to end in a tragic way from the very beginning, I even made Gray narrate in first person in the first chapters to smooth the way.

But some of you guys seemed to always looking forward to an happy ending. That's way I stopped these parts with present Gray to surprise you in the end. But. I took my time with the last two chapters. It was hard to write them but if anyone doesn't like this last chapter feel free to ignore it because the second last chapter should be a satisfying one too for those of you who wanted some happily ever after fluff.

Anyway, I deeply thank all of you guys that followed this story, left reviews, favorited the story (that's pretty cool, hope you don't change your mind after this ending :P)

Special thanks go to glodenglowingsnowdemon, Darkhope, Star197, siriuslight, Martygruvialover - you reviewed almost every single chapter, and your reviews supported me so much!

See ya!