Drifting away is the comfort you once had…...You leave behind all that you once knew…Just run...This fight is no longer yours…

THE GAME OF PREY

This journey was filled with nothing but dreary thoughts and emotions. Nobody in our little group of four was willing to speak a full conversation. Wasn't like there was really much of anything to say. No home, no food, no allies we could count on. We hadn't been able to locate Yomo along with the rest of the Anteiku staff. Things were looking more and more grim with each step that we took. These kids that I was trying to protect were all much more capable than me. This worn down body of mine wasn't gonna last much longer. I honestly didn't know why I was still pushing forward.

The coldness of the season was finally starting to rear its ugly head. I was freezing my ass off. Hinami was on my back bundled up in my beat to death coat. She wasn't the same. I couldn't really expect her to be. She wasn't ever smiling. She had such a dead look in her eyes. No joy, no childlike innocence. She had been corrupted by the cruelty of this world. I only wished I could do more to take care of them. I was out of options and out of luck. Moving away was the last option. We couldn't do much else. We lost everything we had. Literally every single thing.

No choice. No hope. This was as bleak of a situation as it could've been. We were on our last legs. Walking slowly down the side of an empty road, there was nothing left for us in the 20th Ward now. The city was god knows how many miles away from us. It took about four days just to get out of it alive. Once out, we decided to follow the side of a highway in hopes of making it to another home. Most of our cold nights were spent camping outside and roughing it in the early winter cold.

I looked back and saw Kaneki and Touka falling behind. They seemed to be talking about something that made them both laugh. I wish I could laugh with them but our situation was far too dire. We needed to stay focused.

"Both of you need to pick it up. Come on!"

They looked up and sighed. Thankfully, they quickened their pace. "How much farther are we going? I'm getting hungry and I'm starving." Touka grumbled.

"You know I can't answer that right now."

"WELL we need to find something because we're all either gonna starve to death or freeze. I personally don't like the thought of either."

"I know! Just tough it out! You think I want Hinami to have to deal with this?!"

She narrowed her eyes. "Gee...Thanks for that."

"Shut up. You know what I meant." I looked at the little girl sleeping on my back. I felt her shivering ever so slightly. "Damn…"

I looked up at the dark clouds and watched as the heavy snowfall began. Just another way for me to struggle.

Kaneki held his hand out and caught the flakes. "Huh, I used to love the snow…"

I snarled behind me. "Not now Kaneki!"

"S-sorry…"

"We need to get to some shelter. We can't risk trying to camp out in all of this crap."

"Let's keep moving. There's gotta be a rest stop nearby. Let's move it!"

With our sore feet dragging, we continued down the road. The snow was picking up faster than I had hoped. It was freezing my bare skin. Things felt like they were getting worse for us every goddamn day.

With another solid hour of walking, we had finally found an exit lane that led to a gas station. We needed this place as soon as possible. We had to get shelter.

"I can't see!" Touka shouted. Her hair blew around wildly as the wind kicked up.

"Keep moving! We gotta be close!"

"The hell is with all of this snow?!" Kaneki grumbled loudly.

I looked desperately for the building that we could reside in. My eyes scanned over the horizon. I saw a faint light in the distance.

"Over there! It's gotta be a building!"

"Finally! Geez, I can't stand the cold!" Touka yelled.

We trudged up a small hill of snow until we had seen it for ourselves. A dimly lit house that was right next to a gas station.

"There! That's our ticket outta the blizzard."

Touka squinted at both buildings. "There's gonna be humans inside Rey. It could be risky."

"I know. You guys hang back. I'll let you know when we're clear."

"What are you gonna do to them?" Kaneki asked. I couldn't read his expression. It seemed troubled with a mix of something else.

I shook my head. "I'll be right back."

I trudged up the frozen path and into the store. The man behind the counter stared at me cautiously.

"You looking for something pal?"

I cleared my throat and spoke. "I got three kids outside. It's cold as hell and we need a place to stay."

"Place to stay? This is a goddamn gas station man! You need a place to stay then go find a motel!"

"Please. I'm asking nicely! There's two teens and a small girl. They won't last out there!"

"Look sir, either buy something or get out! I got a family to look out for too. This is a job that I can't afford to lose! You got your problems and I got mine."

"I was hoping you'd show a little more kindness than that but I guess it can't be helped."

"I ain't a charity. Just a cashier."

I scanned the place and saw two more people roaming the store. One man picking up a case of beer. Another grabbed a small candy bar.

"Enough to keep us going." I murmured to myself.

"What? You talking to me?!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I had to be quick. He had to die first. I can't have him alerting the police. He probably had a gun behind the counter too. It wouldn't do much to the others but in my crippled state, it could easily put me down. I gotta be fast. No kagune to rely on either.

"Can you get me a pack of blackwood…"

"All that shit you just gave me and you only wanted cigarettes? Figures…" He turned his back to me and reached for a pack of smokes.

I quickly hopped over the counter and put him in a firm chokehold. "Sorry man…"

He coughed and wheezed as I strangled the life out of him. "P-pl...P...l...e...a...s...e…"

I felt remorseful but I didn't have much choice these days. I didn't want to have to kill him. He didn't do anything wrong. He was just doing his job. Regardless, I needed this building and the others needed food.

"I'm sorry…" He let out one last gasp before his body went limp. I dropped him behind the counter and out of sight. "Shit…"

"Excuse me!"

I jumped and quickly turned around. "Um…"

"Yeah so I'm tryna get two cases of this." He plopped the alcohol on the counter and sifted through his pockets. "Y'all take card?"

I looked at the guy still looking at the different candies and glared. He'd be ready to pay up any second now and I needed these two dead.

"Uh, Yeah…"

"Great!" He placed the card on the counter and proceeded to tap against the hardwood surface.

"Alright." I grabbed it hesitantly with my eyes never leaving the man.

"Pretty rough storm. I hear it's gonna get worse."

"You don't say."

"YEP! Eight more inches of snow. Gonna be pretty rough out there. Hopefully I can drive the hell outta here before it gets worse."

"What kinda ride you got?"

"It ain't nothin' special. Just an old pickup truck. Had that thing for years. Used to be my grandpa's till he gave it to me when I turned sixteen. It was my first and will be my last set of wheels." He wasn't wrong.

He did have a ride. That would come in handy. I just had to get rid of the motherfucker first.

I did take note of the pump action shotgun below me. There was a box of eight bullets next to it. That'd help too.

The man seemed to notice me trailing off. He cleared his throat and started tapping his foot. "Well ain't you gonna swipe the card?"

"...Yeah." I glanced at the other man still trying to pick out a piece of candy. It was now or never.

"Now that I'm thinking about it...Wasn't there another guy at the counter when I walked in?"

My answer to his question was to firmly grasp the top of his head and smash it into the countertop. The body slumped down to the store's floor. The other guy jumped and looked towards me in a curious panic.

"What the hell was-" He stood there shaking with a pale face as I aimed the shotgun barrel at him. "Oh god!"

"Don't do anything stupid. Just move over towards the left wall and away from the door."

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Just shut the fuck up and do as I tell you!" My arms began to tremble and the pain in my shoulder made itself known.

I walked around the counter and stomped on the unconscious man's windpipe in order to confirm the kill.

"I don't wanna die here man!"

I walked over to him and glared. "You got a phone?"

"Huh?"

"A PHONE MOTHERFUCKER! DO! YOU! HAVE! ONE!"

"Y-yeah…"

"Take it out and unlock it. NOW!" I demanded.

He did as he was told and I quickly snatched up the device. It was only on thirty percent battery. Luckily there were some charges behind the counter.

"What do you need my phone for?"

"None of you goddamn business!" I hissed.

I quickly factory reset the device and put it in my pocket. "Question for you. Do you love your life?"

"I suppose so...I really don't want to die right now."

"Then you're gonna do exactly as I say. Got it?!"

He nodded. "Yes sir."

I had a plan to use him as a hostage or some form of bait. We may get into some trouble down the line and I would like to have some kind of leverage. He was a younger guy that was pretty frail. Kind of a wimp really. It'd be easy keeping him contained.

"Good. You get to live for now, but if you try ANYTHING, I will rip off your face."

"Alright man! Jeez…"

"Good." I smacked him across the temple with the gun and dropped him unconscious.

I looked around at my handy work and let out a breath I had unintentionally been holding. It was time to move everyone inside and get them some goddamn shelter.

I opened the front door and stepped through the thicker patches of snow that had fallen. When the others saw me moving in, they quickly readied themselves.

"Rey! What happened. It felt like forever since you went in there!"

My eyes shifted over towards Touka and the shivering girl in her arms. "Come on. It's clear so let's move it."

Our little group stepped inside and before I could inform them of what happened they all let out a sudden gasp.

Kaneki chose to open his mouth first. "Rey what did you do?!"

"I thought of survival. We have food for at least a month. The live one is leverage."

"Is this really right though?"

I glared at him. He was just about working on my last nerve. "It's not about right and wrong anymore! It's about trying to live! You'll die if you don't eat! You want that to happen? Do you Kaneki?!"

"NO! It's just that…"

"Don't start getting all sympathetic! If I didn't do this, Hinami would starve. Touka would starve. YOU as a goddamn half ghoul would fucking starve! You get me?"

Touka stood in front of me and pushed back. "Rey, would you lay off him! We don't need this right now!"

"Then tell him that he needs to man the fuck up! You're not a regular ass human anymore kid. You're in the fucking deep end now. Do you understand that? The Doves want us dead! Aogiri wants us dead! Our small group can't fight them! Especially not me!"

I know Touka felt a pang of guilt building up inside of her. I hadn't really been acknowledging my injury all that much. The fact of the matter is that now, I really can't fight other ghouls. It was really up to her and Kaneki. I fucking hate it.

"Rey…"

"Don't you start pitying me! After everyone we've lost...I don't deserve that shit anymore." I walked over towards one of the dead men and pulled against their arm. I yanked until I heard a pop. I tugged until I heard a snap. Then finally, I ripped it clean from it's socket. I threw it to them and let them do as they pleased. "Eat. Right now!"

"You aren't gonna-"

"No! Just eat the damned thing."

"Okay Reyoto." Touka mumbled.

I moved towards the back room grabbing the knocked out man as I walked by. I dragged him near an old, rusty pipe. I looked around until I found some duct tape. I wrapped his legs together and then his hands to the pipe.

I took a seat on an old crate and held my head in my hands. Was it okay to shed any tears of frustration? I wanted to but I chose not to let it happen. Not now at least. Still...Everytime I think about them. About her. It's the same feeling I've had time and time again. I want it to die. I hate it so goddamn much.

"Ryouko...Akihime...I wonder what would have happened if I had never met them. Maybe they'd still be alive. Maybe I'm just a fucking waste. Trash that needs to be tossed aside."

My eyes shifted to the man that stirred in his sleep. I watched him with a stare of death. Focused and hostile.

He opened his olive green eyes and took in his surroundings. When he noticed me, he started to panic.

"What the hell-"

"Look man...My bad. I didn't want this. I really didn't. I just want to keep them safe." I sobbed pitifully. I couldn't hold it in. I fucking let my goddamn tears fall freely to the goddamn floor.

He quivered on the ground. "P-please let me...Let me go-"

"..." My tears haunted. The pain in my shoulder rose with my sudden wave of rage. "Why the fuck would I let you go?" I quickly stood up, knocking the crate over. "THE FUCK YA LOOKIN' ALL SCARED FOR, HUH?"

"Don't hurt me man! I'm sorry!"

I kicked my boot against the wall leaving a nasty crack next to his stupid head. "I said it was my motherfucking bad! We had already squashed the bullshit and now you wanna start sniffling on the ground. I already said you weren't gonna get hurt you little bitch!"

"I JUST DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"YOU'RE MAKING THAT REAL DIFFICULT WHEN YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF! I SHOULD REALLY-"

"REYOTO!"

I turned around and glared at Touka who had shouted at me like I was fucking crazy. "What the hell do you want now? I TOLD YOU TO-"

"WE DID! Well...Kaneki and I did, but Hinami won't eat."

"WHY NOT?!" I snarled.

She winced at my tone before backing away slowly. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you but she needs some kind of father figure right now and YOU are all we've got!"

I suppressed a growl and shoved past her. When I got out to the main storefront, I saw Hinami on the ground shaking. Her eyes were blank as Kaneki tried to convince her to eat.

"Come on. You have to eat something. Hinami please."

"..." She just sat there. Despair written all over her young face.

I softened my features a bit and moved over to her. She hadn't said a singular word. She only looked up at me. Watching...Waiting for me to do something.

"Hey there kiddo." It was the first thing I could say. The first thing that my mouth could muster.

"..." Still nothing.

"Talk to me. I need to know what's up. I wanna help you."

"...You can't."

I flinched at the lack of emotion in her voice. Had she not been sitting directly in front of me, I would've said she was an imposter.

"Please just try to tell me anything. Don't bottle this up. You know I'll always listen."

"Everyone is gone. All of them. I'm gonna be alone, Reyoto."

"That's not true. Don't talk like that!" I said a bit sternly.

"Yes...It is."

"Hinami!"

"You're injured Rey…"

I looked down and saw the blood dripping to the floor. I hadn't even seen the leaking from my shoulder let alone felt it. I had begun to tolerate the intense pain. Now it was bleeding uncontrollably. Couldn't be a good sign.

"It's not that big of a deal. I just moved a little too much. It'll heal."

"No...It won't heal. I can smell something inside of the wound. It's faint but I know that it's alive." I saw a small tear slip from her eye. "You're dying. I know you are. You're pale and a lot weaker now."

Was it really that obvious. I've tried my damndest to hide it. She's smart. She ain't that little anymore. I should've known. Hiding shit always gets people into more trouble. She's a brokenhearted little girl. Both parents are gone and here I am chaperoning her. An old beat up dead man on two legs trying to get her to safety before I finally kick the bucket. Meanwhile she was crying and I'm losing what little sense I have left. I dropped down to the floor and shredded the upper half of my clothing. My wound was leaking as if the shit happened mere seconds ago.

Kaneki lifted a hand to his mouth and backed away. "Oh my god…"

"It really is bad. Rey what the hell were you thinking?! Walking around and fighting like that is only gonna make it worse!"

I gave her a smile. The saddest one I've ever given. "Yeah...Ryko said something like that when he stopped it. I guess I just can't keep myself outta trouble."

"I-I'm sure there's something here we can patch you up with. Maybe some peroxide or-"

"Kaneki stop. It won't do you any good. It's way too late for that shit."

He clenched his eyes and his fists before firing off his retort. "What good is just sitting there waiting to die gonna do? At least TRY and stop the bleeding!"

"I said no! It won't stop what's happening even if I stitched it up. I can already feel it working it's way inside of me. Deeper and deeper with each passing second. Puddles of blood creeping up my windpipe due to the tear in one of my lungs. It's so hard to breathe now. I hadn't noticed until now. I can't think straight anymore either. Probably the lack of oxygen to my fucking head now. All in all, I'd say times ticking down for me in this world."

"Why?!" Touka screamed. "Why are you doing this now? You've always been ready to fight anything so fight this too! You have to stay alive! I know you can. "

"I've been saying it to myself over and over again. If I just keep pushing I'll beat this no problem. You know...I really thought I could do it too. Just keep moving forward. Just fight on and see what tomorrow brings. We've been walking through damn near a foot of snow for almost a week now. All I wanted to do was make it to the next chapter of life."

"You still can! Just try a little harder. We'll get you to a hospital when we reach the next Ward."

I shook my head to the kid I had saved so long ago. "That's a cute idea but If they try to pull this shard out of me...Shit will get messy."

I noticed Hinami trembling beside me. Her face was drenched and she clung to my arm. "I don't want you to go away too. Please don't die! I didn't mean it! I want you to live, Reyoto!"

I shook my head and sighed. "Can I be honest with you all?" My words hung in the air as they cut through everyone's sobbing. "I'm...scared. I truly am terrified. I've suffered through this pain for days on end. I've told myself that I was gonna die when I finally came to terms with my piss poor options. I was even ready to say goodbye to you all, but I can't. I'm actually afraid of what'll happen to me. I know what's waiting. I know where I'll have to go. I hadn't even believed in that kinda thing until this whole situation started. Now that it's sinking in...I just want to live again. I don't know how you'll all end up. I don't know who'll come after you. I can't even protect any of you guys. I can't do anything."

"No Rey!" They shouted at me. Almost made me laugh.

"The thing that scares me most...Is that I'll never get to see my little girl again. I keep thinking that I've moved on but I just can't. I know she's out there somewhere. I feel it now. She's waiting for me but I can't get to her no matter how fucking hard I try!"

"I want my daughter and my wife back so much. I can't have either of them though. Even then, it's okay. I've met all of you and it filled a good bit of that emptiness. Seeing all of you tomorrow is what keeps me going today. It's just a little frightening when each day gets more challenging for me to keep my eyes open. To stand on two legs. "

"..." Now they were quiet. Taking it all in. They had to. It wouldn't be much longer now. Time was wearing thin.

"Kaneki...Do you know why I went to stop Rize?"

"..." His response was a simple shake of the head.

"Heh, I was so sick of the crazy bitch because she reminded me of myself. Eating just for the sake of satisfaction. You were so oblivious and naive that it made me uneasy to see you becoming her next victim."

"I owe you my life Rey! That's why you can't die yet! I still have to pay you back. I have to make up for that night!"

"I know how you can. I know It's a bit selfish of me but I have to ask for a favor. Just in case things end earlier than expected."

"Anything!" He perked up.

"When I die, I want you all to live no matter what. You hear me. Stay together and forget about your past. Forget about me and your time at Anteiku. Start a new life somewhere and live in peace. Keep your identities hidden. Yes there are nice humans out there but still...Just don't take the risk. It ain't worth it."

"You want us to just forget EVERYTHING? Including you, Rey? We can't! No goddamn way!" Touka shouted.

"Touka! I need you to grow up for me. I have to know that you'll all be safe. It would-" I paused in order to catch my breath. A violent fit of coughing soon hit me. "It would mean a lot to me if you just let it all go. Please Touka."

"I'm still not buying this, I'm dying crap! We're almost there! We can make it to the city!"

"I'm only trying to prepare for the absolute worst. Please…"

"What about your daughter? What if she really is somewhere waiting for you?"

I felt a flash of dizziness wash over me. My sight was cutting to black for a split second. "Then-" The burning sensation spread across my body. It hurt like hell and breathing became an even bigger issue. "You find her. Take care of her. You don't tell her who I am. Keep her safe and raise her to be a good girl instead of a monster like her father was."

"I can't even believe you right now…" She huffed and turned her back to me. She used to always do that when she cried in front of me.

"I'm serious. She's still so young. She won't remember me from when she was a baby. She'd only be about…" I tried to think. I couldn't even believe that I forgot how old she was. I could always remember. It just wasn't coming to me. "A toddler. She's a toddler that is a half ghoul. Just like you...Ka...Kaneki!" What the hell was wrong with me now?

"Are you okay Reyoto?" Hinami sniffled. I had forgotten she was clinging to me like that.

"Huh? I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Not really." She finally spoke with more emotion. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"It'll be alright…" It wasn't though. Things were sure to get worse. "We have a vehicle now. When the blizzard finally decides to go fuck itself we can leave."

I saw Touka storm away from me with Kaneki following behind to get her to calm down. That left me with the younger one who was still sobbing.

"Reyoto?"

"Yes Hinami?"

"You and Mama really did care about each other right? She would look at you a lot like how she did with Papa. I thought it'd be weird but...I didn't really mind. I just want to know how you felt about her."

God this was not what I wanted to talk about right now. I had to say something to her though. She needed to talk to someone.

"She was the second person to save me from myself. She helped me forget about pain and loss. Help get me on the right track. She was bold but meek. Firm but gentle. Very quiet but easy to see thanks to a certain beauty that she had. She was amazing at getting me to open up."

"Did you love her?" She asked in a sad tone. I felt like she knew. She read me like an opened textbook. She saw right through me.

"I don't think I did." I said with a somewhat disappointed look on my face. "You knew that already didn't you?"

"Kind of. I think Mama was the same way. She was so upset and angry when Papa died. When you too got closer it really helped her move past it."

"So you're not mad?" I had to check.

"Nope. I'm glad you two could help each other."

"I uh, appreciate that." Glad she doesn't know what happened last. Shit I hope she doesn't.

"Another thing…"

"Go ahead kiddo."

"What actually happened to Papa?" She asked me in a way I couldn't read.

"Why do you ask all of a sudden?"

Her brown bangs blocked her eyes from me. "The people that attacked Mama. They had him. One used him like a weapon."

I closed my eyes and tried to think. "It was bad timing all around. There was no way we were gonna get out of that mess together. A bad ghoul showed up and then two humans came to get the bad ghoul. The ghoul fled and your father and I were left to fight. The thing was, your dad was seen. Unlike me, his face was fully exposed. Even if he survived what had happened, he wouldn't ever come to see you again. He'd put you and your mother at risk."

"Why do they have to kill us? I don't get it. It makes me so angry, Reyoto!"

I understood how she felt. It was frustrating. However the facts couldn't be changed. "Ghouls can only survive if they eat humans. Humans, like any other living creature, don't like getting eaten. They fight us out of fear and only wish to protect themselves. Some ghouls go overboard and murder for the enjoyment of it."

"Like that creepy family we met?"

"...Which one?"

"The one that tried to hurt you and Mama?"

"...Oh! Yeah...I suppose so. You remember that?"

"Yeah...They tried to make me eat some of…"

"I know. You don't have to say it." The fact that she had to deal with that. All while I was chowing down. People that were inspired by my sickening habits. What a mess.

"I guess some ghouls really are bad."

"Yes they are. That's why you have to be careful about who you let into your life. You can't trust many people." I mumbled.

"Will you keep trying?"

"Hm?"

"To survive? You won't just quit right?"

"I'll live every single day to the best of my ability. I promise I won't give up."

She nodded. "Good. I want you to see your daughter again someday."

"Thanks Hinami. It means...everything to hear that." She nodded against my arm. "Also…"

"What?"

"Don't forget to eat something alright."