Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper characters or the franchise.

Interpol Evidence Lock-Up

The city streets are lit only by intermittent streetlights. Guards patrol on rooftops, shadowy forms of pigeons and squirrels. A van drives down one such street then turns into a parking garage. A large, gloved hand pays the fair and takes the ticket, then pulls into a spot on the bottom row.

The back of the van opens, and two shadowy figures jump out. "Are you sure about this, Bentley?" asks the large, round figure. "I know it's a lead and all, but—"

"But it's the only lead we have," says the other, a small square shape in a wheelchair. "Look, this is going to be a textbook robbery. We go in, take what we need, and get out. If it's nothing, we can just put it all back, no harm done."

"I just don't feel right about this," says the first figure. "Shouldn't we talk this over with Carmelita?"

"I don't care how close she is to Sly. She's still a cop. That would just tip her off." The first figure does a wheelie. "Are you ready or not?"

"It's been a while since we pulled a heist," says the big figure. "I'm getting pumped!"

"Then let's go." And with that, the two figures split up, the small, boxy one into the sewer. And the large one?

A beeline for a building three streets down. The Interpol Evidence Lock-up. He ignores the front door, instead making his way to a small stairway into the ground in the back. He goes down the three steps then pauses.

All the lights—streetlights, lights over the door, everything—go out. With a grunt, the hippo grabs the door and forces it open, stepping in and closing it behind him, where he takes one step into an emergency light.

Suddenly, the light flares, focusing on the character: A large pink hippo in a wrestler's mask, red gloves, blue shirt, and belt. From nowhere appears a close-up of his face, followed by the words: THE MURRAY. THE BRAWN.

Murray pulls out his binoc-u-com and looks through it. The eye-shaped binoculars contain an image of the hippo in the right corner, updating in real-time to reflect his reactions and expressions; in the left corner is a helmet-wearing turtle in a wheelchair. The rest of his binoc-u-com is decorated with pictures of other characters, a few crayon drawings, and a good-luck charm. "Okay Bentley, I'm in. Now what?"

"I may have hacked their camera system remotely before you entered, Murray, but Interpol is smart," says Bentley. "They've got some security systems that aren't run by computers. And you know what that means."

"Yeah! Time for some punching action!"

"No! No punching," says Bentley. "I've timed this very carefully. None of the people working here are criminals, so we're not going to be beating up on them. But there are several security gates between you and the switch I need to gain access down here. Get past them and go through the red door."

"Righteous! This'll be easy. Leave it to... THE MURRAY."

Murray puts away his binoc-u-com and scopes out the hallway he's in, dim and lit only by the emergency lighting. There are a number of doors on either side, but Bentley didn't say anything about going in any of them... and they're locked anyway. Instead, The Murray continues down the hall, only to come to a large security gate.

A tutorial pops up on the binoc-u-com. "It's been a while, Murray. Do you remember how to lift security gates?"

"This gate is nothing before my hulking bulk!" says The Murray. "I just press the circle button to stomp the ground, then smash the X button to lift it HIGH."

"Swell, but keep your voice down!" Bentley whisper-yells, leaning forward in the screen and sounding like he's courting a heart attack. "If my calculations are correct, none of the guards' routes should go your way for another half hour, but if they hear something, the whole plan might fall apart. If you see any, avoid them!"

"O... kay..." Murray says in an exaggerated whisper.

The binoc-u-com screen disappears. Murray lifts the barrier then continues down the hall. He reaches a split in the path: one side intermittently lights up with a guard's flashlight, but it never goes close enough to illuminate the area past its wall-mounted gates. Murray contemplates them for a minute before being told he can't do anything about wall-mounted gates.

Eventually, Murray comes to the red door. Inside are three levers and a large orange rug in the center of the office, extending almost to the walls on all sides, in the shape of a hexagon: orange with white corners. Murray pulls out his binoc-u-com. "Okay Bentley, what do I need to do in here?"

"This is Dr. Foxworthy's office; he's in charge of criminal rehabilitation—and all the evidence of their crimes."

"He must be important. There's a candy bowl on his desk!"

"Don't touch that!" snaps Bentley, just in time. "Everything on his desk is wired to a separate system; even without the power, if you mess with anything, he'll know."

"Even the candy?"

"We'll get you some later. Right now, we need to use the power switches to overload the secondary security servers, then prevent the reset from going off."

"Uh..."

"If you look under that rug, Murray, there's a large button near the center. I need you to thunderflop it, then lift all the switches. You do remember how to thunderflop, right?"

"Totally! I just jump with the X button, then press the square button in mid-air to lay the smackdown on guys! Only, they made me stop doing it in the wrestling circuit 'cause of the incident."

"The incident?" asks Bentley, adjusting his glasses.

"It's a long story... they still haven't gotten all the lights out of the floorboards."

"Well... just make sure that doesn't happen here. This area is a bit more highly trafficked. If anyone comes by, squeeze yourself under that massive desk; we don't want a confrontation. And don't touch anything on top of that desk!"

"Right! Switch, prepare to be THUNDERFLOPPED by... THE MURRAY."

Bentley puts his head in his hands just before Murray puts away his binoc-u-com again and deals with the button. Before he can deal with the last switch, though, there's a noise from the hallway. Murray just barely has time to squeeze under the doctor's desk.

Someone walks in, their face in shadow, an orange fox's tail trailing behind her as she uses the flashlight on her shock pistol to look around the room. Murray flinches further under the massive desk, but the officer appears not to notice. She flicks off the light and raises a phone to her face. "All's clear here. Though what anyone would want with your office, I don't know." She pauses as though listening while making a slow circuit around the room, the expression on her face changing from boredom to resignation to irritation as she listens. "Believe me, I'm as upset as you are that he wasn't actually rehabilitated. We'll make sure to have him do a full course the next time he's in custody." She stops at the door, a frown on her face, and almost growls into the phone, "I said when, not if. I'm going on assignment again this week; if I don't bring him back for you, I'm sure I'll bring someone."

She leaves the room at last. "That was close," mutters Murray.

"I agree," pipes Bentley over the binoc-u-com. "Her office is on the top floor. We shouldn't have any further trouble with her."

Murray finishes his tasks. "All right, little buddy, you're set to go."

The camera switches to Bentley, somewhere in the basement, staring at a laser security grid... that flickers out. "Perfect," he says, doing a wheelie in his chair. The camera does a close-up on him, and large words flare into light: BENTLEY. THE BRAINS.

He wheels his way through the large empty room full of breakables that, if this were a video game, would be an excellent opportunity to get coins. The floor and walls are solid cement; the emergency lighting provides dim, flickering cover. Of course, the doors are similarly sturdy, as Bentley discovers when he comes upon one. "I bet I can use my bombs to blow up this door," he says, studying it. "I press the triangle button to bring out a bomb. I can tap the triangle button to place a bomb on an item directly in front of me, or drop it on the ground." He takes care of that door, and the next two, easily.

Bentley wheels his way down the dark hallway. Pictures line the walls, photographs of criminals. On one side is their mugshot, taken when they were incarcerated; on the opposite side, it shows them rehabilitated, smiling, happy. Dates and the number of sessions they had with Dr. Foxworthy are by each of the pictures, as well as several letters thanking him for their rehabilitation. Among the photographs Bentley passes are many familiar faces: Mizz Ruby. Panda King (who may have joined the Cooper gang briefly after being rehabilitated, but that was mainly to save his daughter). Rajan. The Contessa. Jean Bison.

The next obstacle is a bit more challenging. "I should use my darts to take care of those wire sensors," says Bentley, bringing out his binoc-u-com aiming site. "I can fire by tapping the R1 button."

And again, not much later, "Drat. Floor lasers! But they're no match for my hover-pack. I just hit the X button to jump; then, by tapping the X button again, I get a little extra boost. I can even hold the X button to hover for some extra distance."

And so Bentley continues making his way down the hall. Past portraits of Octavio, General Tsao, The Grizz, and Miss Decibel. Past Penelope's portrait, which Bentley curses... though not without noting she only had the wanted poster, and two sessions marked, before her escape. She had not been rehabilitated.

"Are you almost done, Bentley?" asks Murray through the binoc-u-com. "I'm getting kinda hungry."

"I've just reached their computer, Murray. This'll be a cinch. You should head to the elevator." Bentley cracks his knuckles then hunches over, typing with his wheelchair's four mechanical arms as well as both hands. "Interpol hasn't updated their internal security in at least a month. This stuff is ancient."

Bentley has his fun hacking, of course, and the player with him—I'm jealous of this player, you know, hacking is a lot of fun—but it just isn't fun to read about descriptions of an easy hacking job, so we'll just skip to when Bentley's finished. "Parsing cell scripts, rewiring elevator control parameters, updating databases security parameters, installing another three back doors, centering centrifugal force, and all the doors down here will open in three, two, one." Click.

Well, whaddaya know. It worked. The elevator dings, releasing Murray with Bentley, and the two share grins, then turn to the newly unlocked central door.

The evidence lock-up is a huge room, full of dozens upon dozens of safes. "According to their computer records, the item we need is in safe 1305," says Bentley, wheeling his way forward beside Murray. "This may be tricky to get to."

"Because we don't have Sly, right?" says Murray.

"No. Because it's up there," he says, pointing to the fourth row up of safes. "We can't risk getting a ladder over here. You're going to have to get me up there."

"Are you sure about this, Bentley?" asks Murray. "The Murray's strength is more than enough to get you up there, but if my aim's wrong—"

"Once you stomp with the circle button to pick me up, you can hold me over your shoulders easily enough. That should be all it takes."

"Right!" says The Murray, and you can guess what happens next.

What you probably didn't guess was that Bentley, and his four mechanical wheelchair arms, have learned to crack safes. Oh yes. Sly would be proud.

With one last turn, the safe unlocks. Bentley opens it...

...and discovers it's empty. "What? But it should be here! This is all wrong! We need to pull the plug on this operation right now!"

"Looking for this?" asks a voice from the door, and the two turn, trembling, to see their old nemesis, Inspector Carmelita Fox, leaning in the doorway She has her shock pistol aimed at them with one hand, an ancient Egyptian artifact, sealed inside an airtight plastic bag for protection, in the other.

Another sudden flare of light, and words. CARMELITA. THE... COP?!

"We are in so much trouble," mutters Murray.

"Did you two really think I wouldn't figure out what you were up to?" she demands. "A sudden cut in power, three new taps on the telephone systems, and all of it under a week after we've acquired evidence surrounded by mouse prints?"

"We are not working with her," says Bentley flatly. Murray sets him on the ground.

"Didn't say you were," says Carmelita. "I expect you've got a lead on Sly. And you two idiots Didn't TELL ME?!"

Bentley hides behind Murray as Murray cowers from her.

"I have half a mind to shoot both of you low-down, no-good thieves and haul you off to jail right now!" she says. "Instead, I'm coming with you."

"You're what?" asks Murray, peeking out from behind his gloves.

"Carmelita, you don't understand," says Bentley, peeking out from behind Murray. "What we're doing is a very calculated—"

Carmelita shoots right by his head, leaving scorch marks on his helmet. "I'm coming," she says.