Prologue: Spring Cleaning With Your Heirloom Arrow

Rolf pried the cellar door open with a heavy grunt. It fell to the side, sending up a cloud of dust that made him cough as he inhaled it. Once that subsided, the sunlight streaming in from behind him lit up the darkened cellarway. Where was the blasted thing—There!

Just at the very back of the cellar, a long, thin glass casket with golden trims sat in the shadows, with it being barely visible unless one squinted closely at the space around the casket. Inside holds a clean linen cushion where an ornate arrow with a gold and silver arrowhead laid inside, accompanied by a not as impressive bow.

Rolf carefully journeyed downwards the darkened cellar and made his way towards the thin glass container, lifting it with delicate care not normally seen from the usual hardworking boy. Rolf rounded back around towards the cellar door and closed the subterranean room from behind him as he viewed the thin casket with interest.

It was a family heirloom—of course, nearly half the objects in his house were valuable to his family in some way. It exuded age in a way that is only possible to an object as old as the founding of one's family, yet it was also permeated with the scent of something that hasn't seen a good cleaning in literal generations. The faint yet nagging odor of rust hung in the air around the arrow as he took it out of the case, and even the softest of his breaths immediately stirred a thick cloud of dust right off the golden heirloom.

Rolf coughed harshly as he gulped in the dust by accident and furrowed his brow at the offending arrow in an almost disapproving manner.

It had most definitely needed a firm scrub, wash, anything to get rid of that annoying rusty scent.

"When you said we'll do an activity to pass the time, spring cleaning your friggin' basement is the last thing I'd see myself enjoying." groused Eddy.

"I like it Eddy!" cheered the taller Ed, "It reminds me of my room, except if Double-D was living in it instead!"

"Ed, if I were to live in my basement it would look vastly different from your own living quarters." Edd said with flat frown, "and I never said tidying up my basement was fun, only that'll pass the time."

"But cleaning up a basement is like trying to clean out Ed's jacket, it's practically destined to be dirty." Eddy groaned as he halfheartedly sorted through a pile metal scraps, pushing aside useless parts and one that can be recycled for future creations.

"That may be, but cleaning one's basement can provide one with a sense of order and cleanliness, which can—"

"Cut the mini-speeches, if you're trying to convert us to be neat freaks like you then you're wasting your time. I'd sooner be Kevin's best chum before I make my room a carbon copy of yours." Eddy hissed, "Now can we take a fifteen-minute break? I've been bending over to sort through your own junk for the last two hours and if I have to do more I'll drop dead from being overworked."

"Two hours, forty-six minutes and thirty-two seconds if we're being precise but I see your point. I guess we can stop for today and pick up again tomorrow." Edd dumped the last pan of dirt and dust into the nearby trash bin and gently set the dustpan down with the broom.

Seeing Edd ending their spring cleaning session, Eddy eagerly abandoned the finished pile of metal and clicked his fingers. Ed quickly rushed to his side and the two boys left through the stairs.

Eddy and Ed entered the kitchen and saw Edd placed three cups of lemonade down on the kitchen table. Without any further persuasion, they wordlessly grabbed a cup and started chugging the yellow liquid down their throat.

"It's impolite to take things without asking, you know," pointed Edd out uselessly. Eddy smacked his lips and wiped the lingering lemonade drops off his mouth.

"Lemme guess, you'll say,「And it's improper to clean one's lips with one's arm,」right?"

"And it's improper to clean one's lips with one's arm." Edd repeated. His eyes suddenly dilated, "! How did you—?!"

"I spent the last eight years being your neighbor and friend, let's just say people are easier to read when you have fun around them." Eddy answered cryptically, "Besides, don't try to give us some proper manners. Remember the last time you tried to do that?"

"Ooh, don't remind me, I thought I had accidentally worsened your misbehaviors and mischief when I tried to reform you," Edd shuddered, "I just barely escaped a thrashing, courtesy of Kevin when Ed demolished his bike as he was running away from my broccoli."

"Sorry Double-D, but broccoli is no good for Ed," quivered Ed instinctually, despite broccoli being out of his sight, "icky, yucky broccoli."

"Yeah I never get how people are supposed to enjoy broccoli," Eddy spat the word out as if it were a curse word, "it's gross, bitter, and taste like grass's rejected cousin."

"It's healthy for you. Something that's good for you doesn't necessarily have to be palatable." frowned Edd, lowering his half-empty lemonade cup.

"Yeah, whatever. I'd take pizza, hamburgers and french fries over veggies any time of day. I'll only eat vegetable stuff only if it makes me cash," grunted Eddy.

The three boys went silent after that statement made by Eddy and finished off their drinks in relative tranquility. Eddy wiped his lips and spoke out, "Now that I'm done working with your own scrap junk, I'm heading home and, I dunno, take a nap and think of scams or something."

But before he could leave the kitchen.

ドーンギューン！

"What was that?"

"WILFRED!"

The angered squealing of a pig, and some noise resembling that of a large fist impacting against the ground entered their ears.

Ed and Edd turned to the kitchen window in awe and Eddy, changing his mind, quickly pirouetted around on his heels and dashed toward the window to view the spectacle.

From the Eds' vantage point, they could see Wilfred the pig and their immigrant neighbor Rolf engaged in some sort strange confrontation taking place in their backyard/farm, wielding what appeared to be an invisible force against each other. Suddenly, Wilfred quickly barreled out of the way and a moment later, a ditch gouged itself where the pig once stood.

"What."

"The."

"Heck." Eddy ended with a monotone voice.

Rolf's arms moved as though he was guiding the invisible force's strikes, moving his hands in a swift and abrupt manner. Meanwhile, Wilfred had simply oinked and squealed loudly and darted wildly throughout the little farm, where even more pits dug itself where the pig once was.

This has continued on for a solid ten minutes, and every minute the Eds' jaw dropped lower until it was practically dislocated from how much their lower jaw dropped. Gradually, the farm grew more and more marred with pits and ditches, giving it a semblance of rather earthly cheese.

Suddenly, Wilfred was launched off of his hooves and straight into a tree, ending the battle as abruptly as it started. Rolf panted slightly and dusted his clothes after the battle. He paced towards the unconscious swine and hoisted the animal onto his shoulder, tossed him into the pigpen, tightly securing the gate and muttered something about upgrading the pigpen after 'this troubling development'.

The Eds blinked with a dropped jaw, flabbergasted at the ridiculous event that had taken place right across from their window. They silently turned around from the window, Eddy rubbed his sore jaw tiredly and said, "You know, I saw a lot, and I do mean a lot, of weird crap coming from Rolf. But this just really takes the cake."

"That was so cool!" Ed squealed, "It's like an all-awesome ghost fight! Like magical robot fighting!"

"Truly baffling," Edd murmured. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words to express what he saw, but then settled to say, "Mayhaps I should talk with Rolf to see what that situation was about, to glean some context, so to speak."

"Sockhead, this is Rolf we're talking about. It probably makes just as much sense with context without context." Eddy stated pointedly, though Edd had already left his chair. The beanie-wearing boy left the kitchen room and his house, leaving the two remaining Eds' view.

Ed and Eddy glanced at each other for an extended period of time, engaging in a silent debate via facial expressions and eyebrow twitches. Then, coming to an agreement, they too rose from their seat and followed Edd out of the house.

The signature trio approached their neighbor's house and rapped the door three times. The Eds patiently (and yes this also included Eddy) as Rolf called out from inside the house distantly, "Rolf will be with you in just a moment or two! Please be patient!"

Eddy silently tapped the soil with his toes to passed the time and he glanced at Edd, who was staring at the door in an attentive way. Ed fiddled his hands in an absent-minded manner, with his eyes floating wherever, which Eddy had grown to recognize as his weird-conspiracy-theorist side taking over. The cool summer wind whipped their clothes slightly as faint footsteps could be heard from inside the house.

Finally, the door creaked inwards and Rolf peeked his head out, a smile gracing his somewhat bemused face as he saw Edd in front of the door, "Why hello, highly-loquacious-and-sagacious Ed-boy! And dull-headed and money-keen Ed boys! Come in, come in!"

Edd entered the house without hesitation, and after another moment of internal debate, Eddy entered Rolf's home, whistling the dumber Ed to come inside, "Ed! In!"

After Ed entered through the door and closed it behind him, Rolf gestured the three Eds to seat themselves to the salmon-colored sofa while he positioned himself on the grander armchair, steepling his fingers together.

Edd shifted carefully into a comfortable position and cleared his throat, "Rolf. We three are witnesses to the bizarre event that had taken place in your farmyard, where you had a confrontation with your livestock pig, Wilfred. Perhaps you can enlighten us about what had happened earlier?"

The farmboy merely blinked slightly and leaned back on the armchair. He had expected Edd to asked that question; after all, they were immediate neighbors and Edd was always more observant than his friends.

"Rolf would be happy to explain to the three-peas-fused-in-a-pod Ed-boys what had transpired in his farmyard, but on one condition. You are to never mention the content of this discussion to any of our peers. This is a matter of utmost secrecy."

"What? Why should—"

"Eddy, please!" Edd urged the short-tempered Eddy, "We should agree to Rolf's demands for now."

Eddy gently pushed the frailer boy's arm of off him, "Sorry Nerd-o, but if Rolf wanna keep a secret, it's a good idea for me to bail out now so I wouldn't spill the secret by accident. C'mon Ed, let's go and wait outside for Sockhead to finish this little conference."

Before Edd could call out for them to stop, the dimwitted Ed and Eddy had already left the house. Rolf watched their departure with a somewhat placid look, "While Rolf doesn't mind having the two Ed-boys hearing his secret, neck-and-head-conjoined-together Ed-boy is right; he has a tongue more slippery than Wilfred's backside after a muck shower. Perhaps it is best that he shouldn't hear our discussion."

"Of course," turning his head back to Rolf, Edd coughed slightly, "now if you please; what exactly happened in your farm?"

"To first answer that question, Rolf must retrieve an item essential for answering that question. Please allow him a moment to get it."

The boy stood up and hurried away, leaving Edd to himself for a moment. A minute went by and Rolf had returned with a long thin object in his hand. Repositioning himself on his armchair, Rolf held out the object carefully, "Tell me, Ed-boy. Do you recognize what this is?"

"Arrow, the arrowhead is a medieval-type broadhead if I were to guess. From how you seem to hold it, am I not too far off from saying this is yet another one of your family heirloom?" Edd questioned.

Rolf smiled and nodded, "Correct, head-in-sock Ed-boy. However, this isn't just one of Rolf's treasured legacy. He believed it may be connected to the puzzling case that had happened in Rolf's backyard."

"How so?"

"Tell Rolf, Double-D Ed-boy. Do you know what a Stand is?"

Jack's Notes

Oh boy, another story! *forced enthusiasm*

Man, I'm on a roll with these stories am I? Let's hope I can keep this one alive!

Anyways, say hello to Ed, Edd 'n Eddy's Bizarre Adventure: Jawbreaker is Unbreakable!—holy shit that's a long-ass title, maybe I should shorten it. This is, of course, an EE'nE/JJBA crossover, and it will probably be decent! Hopefully, maybe. I pray I can consistently update this one.

Tell me what you think of it, alright? Review if you like it and PM for suggestions and questions! Hope you like it!