"You ready for today, baby?"

The redhead flinched slightly as a soft palm reached over to stroke her arm gently, but she quickly relaxed into the touch, smiling up at the owner of the hand and opening one eyelid.

It's not them. It's not the Sisters. It's not your mother. It's Toni. It's Toni, and she loves you, just like you love her. And she would never, ever hurt you.

Cheryl closed her eyes again, shivering as the hand traced patterns over her arm, now long faded of the bruises from the needles and the chafe of the material of the straight jacket and the straps, but the scars of a lifetime of abuse still leaving barely visible marks over her pale skin. They weren't noticeable to anyone apart from herself who'd had to live with them for to long and Toni who had traced her hands all over her body and kissed every little area of white, new skin, but the memories were still there and she was sure they'd never leave.

The crescents on her forearm from when her mother dragged her to her bedroom the night of Jason's funeral, her long nails biting into the skin, no time to heal and being reopened on more occasions, more occasions she'd never forget but wished she could. She scar on her left shoulder from when she'd been shoved harshly into a door frame in the midst of one of her mother's fits of anger. More. They all had their story to tell, still took their toll on the redhead.

She felt shit about flinching away from Toni the way she did sometimes because she knew that the brunette wouldn't dream of hurting her, she knew better than that, but it was just the damn reflexes. As said before, the lifetime of abuse and two weeks of torture at the Sisters Of Quiet Mercy hadn't come easy for her.

Post-traumatic stress disorder, she'd been told she had. PTSD. That, and other things. And maybe it was daunting, maybe it was something she didn't want that as a personality trait or whatever (she remembered Toni sitting down, taking her hand in hers and persuading her that it wasn't, the first time she'd referred to herself as that, that it didn't define her, and she didn't know whether she believed her then and she didn't know now but one little voice in her head told her that Toni was probably right), but maybe it brought more relief than dread to the redhead. She'd been given an explanation… an explanation for the way she was, the way she acted, the way she responded to some situations.

And that had given her the chance to get help and get an idea of how to help herself, how Toni could help her in ways besides the quiet reminders to breathe as she guided her through her panic attacks or the way she held her extra close when she'd woken up in the middle of the night with yet another horrifying nightmare.

And now, probably because of that, Cheryl knew better how to act in scenarios, get through those vivid, horrible flashbacks, whatever else which had entailed as a result. Because sometimes Toni wasn't in her classes, and sometimes she wasn't even at school and that was probably one of the reasons why she'd ended up clutching the ceramic edge of the sink in the bathroom on the fifth corridor last week, but she'd managed to get herself out of that state brought on by a lesson delving a little too far into homophobia. Toni had her life, too - Toni had her life with the serpents, and she had to go to work, and she couldn't cling to her forever, as much as she wanted to.

The idea of therapy wasn't as absurd-seeming as it once had been. After her diagnosis it finally felt like she had a reason to go, something to talk about, a way out in a way – something she had never had.

She had, though; she'd just refused to acknowledge that, too scared of being told she was just crazy, or dumb, or being dramatic. Too scared of being told that she wasn't valid, that there were people in the world who hadn't been raised with the silver spoon in their mouth, lived in a mansion her entire life up until the day where the spoilt brat in herself had doused it in gasoline and lit a candelabra.

Mental illness didn't decide on things based on class or wealth or anything like that in the slightest, though. It wasn't her fault. It was hard to believe sometimes, considering she'd spent sixteen years being told that everything was her fault, but it wasn't.

"Babe?"

Cheryl bit her lip, shrugging as if Toni could see from under the sheets, pulling them closer to her, her stomach beginning to churn once again with anxiety.

"Not really, TT, but I'll be okay," she replied quietly as she cuddled closer to the brunette alongside her in bed, tracing her fingers over her soft skin and the scars of the brunette's past. "I'll be okay. I promise."

Toni planted a kiss on the other girl's pale forehead, her lips lingering there for a moment before leaving as Cheryl whined. She heard the rustle of silk an linen next to her before she felt the warmth of the other girl next to her, the denim of the brunette's jeans scratching at her leg in the nice way before an arm wrapped back around her waist, soft lips returning to the redhead's bare shoulder.

"That's my girl."

It had been four months since Cheryl had been saved from the Sisters Of Quiet Mercy. That had happened in February and now it was the middle of June, nearing the end of the school year, exams immanent and the stress levels were higher than any other period, and that had only been heightened by the trial against the Sisters. The final judgement was that afternoon, and at three the verdict would have been announced. It was now ten, five hours to go until that point, not long at all until they had to leave the house, and Toni could tell that it was taking a toll of the redhead. Usually she'd have been up hours ago, long before Toni, but Cheryl was still curled up under the covers in just one of Toni's shirts and her underwear, and it concerned Toni so much because she'd barely spoken to her this morning.

The trial was something which had gone on for so long. Way too long. It felt like it had been months since they'd first reported the abuse to the sheriff's office. Months since Cheryl had given her statement and said everything there was to say about the horrors she had faced, and Toni had just held her throughout that whole night following, the two girls crying together until they fell asleep, Cheryl inconsolable and Toni struggling to comprehend to pain the other girl had gone through, announcing all that to a voice recorder which would be played so many times over the coming months, repeating all that to Attorney McCoy as they worked on the case, a constant, painful, detailed reminder of the pain she'd endured.

She'd been going to therapy weekly. She'd drive to the next town along to the one who she got on with and trusted the most, and she'd go in whilst Toni would wait outside for her, and then they'd end the day with Pops or something else depending on the mood. The school counsellor had proven a help too if she was needed.

And it felt good to talk to somebody. Cheryl felt good. There was so much pain, but it felt like it was going to be all alright in the end, and that was something she'd never experienced before - she'd never known hope in her life. At least not until Toni had entered hers.

But it had been the hardest in court. The trial had been postposed so many times, and it had left Cheryl in a dark place once again, struggling to get out of her head on so many days. She'd questioned the point of all of it to Toni numerous times. Asked her and herself whether she should have just left it, because she didn't want to have to think about it, stress about the verdict, for much longer.

Toni said that she had the ultimate decision and she'd support her in every way possible whatever she did. But that had come with a reminder of how much she'd suffered at the hands of the Sisters, and that she needed to deal with her pain properly rather than locking it up, just like she had those weeks before she'd wandered over to Sweetwater River and walked across the cracking ice. She probably was only talking about the therapy, really, but Cheryl had an inkling that it wasn't just that she was talking about.

But then the week of the trial had been set and everything felt so much gloomier than before. The day was hovering over the whole town, countless people wanting that place closed down for good whilst some people saw no problem with it, taking the word that it was actually a reputable, Christian-run orphanage which cared about children.

That hurt.

It hurt that people didn't believe her, nor the accounts of people who had suffered previously at the hands of the Sisters. That people were trying to deny that what had happened to her really had happened. Used the case of her lying about Jason's dead as evidence. The blame and hatred was something she'd never get over, she was sure.

Court days had been boring. Hours long, the courtroom so damn hot with summer just starting, everyone wafting fans around because the place clearly didn't have central air conditioning of any kind. And the wafting fans had triggered Cheryl once because of something relating to her mom which Toni couldn't quite get the story from, but she didn't have to worry about that anymore.

Yes, Toni still had to worry about dying of dehydration in that courtroom. But, no, she didn't have to worry about Cheryl's mom anymore. Penelope Blossom had been arrested the week Cheryl and Toni had started back at school. Abuse. Neglect. Prostitution. Prostitution operating around a minor. Someone had sent an anonymous tip about that and people only had the faintest idea who. Cheryl certainly hadn't said enough to get her mother arrested, too afraid of her to defy her. Too afraid of the clients, middle-aged men who had creepy smiled with gold teeth and carried brief cases. But she didn't have to worry about them anymore. The day that second syllable of the word 'guilty' had echoed around the room, quickly followed by exhales of relief around her, a series of hugs from too many people to name following closely after that, she'd felt the suffocating weight drop from her chest, sobbing tears of utter relief into Toni's chest, and they'd gone to Pop's to celebrate, gone home to celebrate, gone to bed-

It was only then, Toni having drifted off to sleep but Cheryl unable to, turning and looking at the clock a million times, that the impacts of that result hit her right in the face. She'd lost her abuser that day, but she'd also lost her mother. Her last standing family member. And it was like a part of her was gone. It was like she'd lost who she was. She felt lost without the constant fear of her mother. Empty.

Somewhere within those thoughts she'd decided it might have been a good idea to drive down to Sweetwater River like she had when Jason died, when her father died, pulling on the first items of clothing she could find and getting in the Chevrolet Impala, parking it in the same spot, and wandering through the darkness, the waves crashing to her right, and eventually she'd sat down just where the shingle at the shoreline met the green grass of the woods surrounding them, and she'd stared out at nothingness for hours as tears ran down her cheeks constantly but silently.

xxx

She was shivering. Shivering violently, because apparently she'd underestimated just how cold it got at night even in the middle of a heatwave and she was in the first things she'd thrown on, a simple top and a black skirt. Shivering, and staring out across the river shrouded by darkness.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket over and over but she couldn't bring herself to pull it out and answer it. Still, she just sat, cold and shaking and numb and empty.

Everything sounded like she was underwater - a harsh reminder of the last time she'd been here - but she heard voices, getting closer. A male and a female. The male's voice brought her right back to this same location eight months ago and she sick sensation she always got with that thought lingered for a couple of seconds. She heard barking... barking repetitively, annoying...

Vegas.

Why would Vegas be at Sweetwater River at this time in the morning, so early that it was dark?

A violent shiver took over her body, and it made her ears adjust, the underwater sensation no longer lingering - thank god - and the words become clearer, even though they were far away-

"Calm down- calm down, she'd going to be here, okay? She's going to be here, we're going to find her, aren't we?"

"It's the river-"

"We can't make judgements, okay? You have location services on, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Hey, Toni-"

Toni. The fogginess in her head caused by exhaustion and numbness cleared a smidgen, but every joint felt so heavy and she couldn't speak, like she wasn't capable of forming words or something-

She was sure she dozed off at one point for a couple of seconds as the next things she knew was voices a lot louder, a lot closer, and footsteps-

Footsteps, until-

Darkness.

And then she had found herself blinking quickly at the harsh light as her eyes adjusted to the clinical white of the room. They were sore, like she'd been asleep for too long, and her back hurt, but then again she had been sleeping on her back-

But she never slept on her back.

She acknowledged she scratchiness of the pillow under her neck, quickly followed by the pinch in her arm which felt heavy and sore and like something was taped over it. Cheryl blinked again, squinting as she stared the needle protruding her skin, panic coursing through her body immediately until-

"Hey, Cheryl."

She felt her heart rate slow slightly at the calm voice she knew so well.

"You're in the hospital. We brought you here this morning."

The crack in Toni's voice scared her slightly. The redhead coughed hoarsely, blinking and shielding the light from her eyes; who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put a light over a damn bed?

"Hospital?" she croaked. "Why?"

Toni smiled sadly and Cheryl looked up, surprised to see tear tracks and puffy eyes and a red nose.

"You left in the night and Archie and I found you some time this morning at Sweetwater. You were freezing and barely conscious and we were scared."

The memories were blurry. A mess of white and blue squiggles as she stared at the sheets. A soft hand taking hers in theirs and rubbing a thumb up and down the skin on the back of it before a sigh echoed around the room.

"Why? Why did you go, Cheryl? Why did you leave? We thought- I thought-"

Cheryl wanted more than everything to say that it was nothing. But she couldn't. Her eyes went teary and she turned away on her side as she heard Toni's voice crack followed by a sniffle she knew wasn't her own, every action motivated by shame and embarrassment.

She didn't remember. Not then. Not really. The memories held more clarity now, but there were still grey areas.

It wasn't completely black and white. But everything else in the world seemed that way.

xxx

She shuddered at the memory of Toni in tears, begging her to never do that again, sobbing in fear and relief and promising that she was safe, that it was all over, in her girlfriend's ear like a mantra, and Cheryl had barely been able to process what had happened or anything to do with that situation now.

She just remembered fear, and Toni's terrified voice, and apparently Toni was also thinking about what happened then right now because-

"Hey, Cheryl, whatever happens today happens, okay? It happens because that's life, and life can be cruel and horrible and all, and not because of you. Promise me that you'll go with that, okay? We've done everything we can, and it's out of our hands now."

Cheryl nodded numbly, closing her eyes again and soaking up every bit of warmth radiated off the other girl. She knew that really, it wasn't okay. She knew that she'd be in a lot of pain in the following weeks…

"If we lose the case, we lose it knowing full well that we did everything in our hands, everything in your hands, to win," Toni continued quietly. "Some people are too powerful to be swayed and that's the way the world works. We lose the case knowing that our claims are true, that every single word you've said is valid and the truth, and we will try again only if you want to-"

"I can't let- let those kids suffer like I did, Toni. It's still going on. I have to try again, whatever it takes."

"Babe, I know, and I feel the same way but this trial... it hasn't been easy, has it? It's been so much and I don't want it to overwhelm you like it has."

Cheryl sighed. Toni had a point. She'd spent so many hours these past few weeks mentally exhausted. It had taken so much out of her that on the worst days she hadn't wanted to get out of bed. Today was edging towards being one of them and it hadn't even started.

Some days Toni had to drag her up to go to see McCoy, and some days she'd had to asked her to come here to sort out everything. Some days she'd had to cancel.

But at least now, she'd been going to therapy weekly. She'd drive to the next town along to the one who she got on with and trusted the most, and she'd go in whilst Toni would wait outside for her, and then they'd end the day with Pops or something else depending on the mood. The school counsellor had proven a help too if she was needed. And it felt good. Cheryl felt good.

But that had come out of her not feeling good.

That's how most things worked with her, apparently; good things coming out of the bad. Toni was the main one of them. She'd been her saving grace, the only person persistent enough to show that she cared about the redhead, if not the only person who cared about her. She couldn't forget that day that Toni had appeared at the Bijou and tried yet again to get through to her, break down those walls the redhead had put up. Nor the day that she'd turned up at the Sisters, Cheryl refusing to believe it was real, thinking it to be the result of the drugs or the 'medication' or her damn mind, then going back to the trailer park, Toni holding her hand as she drifted off the sleep, the way she'd comforted her through her nightmares and flashbacks and panic attacks...

Like it or not... Toni knew Cheryl like the back of her hand now. She knew every integrated meaning in the things she said, how she said them; the telltale signs that she was having a good or bad day, the good more probable these days.

"O-okay..."

"Okay?"

The redhead hummed. Toni shuffled impossibly closer, embracing the redhead even tighter as she closed her eyes once again, for a second wondering whether or not she should set an alarm with how comfortable she was and how both of their bodies seemed to relax immediately at the contact.

No worries, she thought. Cheryl would wake up before it got too close to time.

"Whatever happens today..." the brunette murmured and sighed. "Whatever happens, it's happens. And it happens for a reason... and you're so, so strong..."

xxx

Thornhill was somewhere Toni had never really seen up close before. She'd passed it in the car, sure, the iron-cast gates with the Blossom family emblem and red and grey bricks all she really saw back then as the mansion itself had been shrouded behind tall trees and vegetation, like the forest in 'Sleeping Beauty', hiding a beautiful building from the view of the eye of those passing and not really looking for it. Much alike that, it had lost its magnificence from the doings of cold-hearted witches over the years, and inside all that time, nobody aware of the horrors she faced, had been Cheryl Blossom, the princess trapped behind those walls for so many years that every time she'd left them she'd put up her own walls to prevent people from getting in.

Toni had made it past those walls. She'd fought her way in, much alike that prince who'd been too curious as to what lay behind those walls (except, not really, because, ugh why did fairy tales have to be so damn straight?) and when she'd made it past that barrier she'd found the most beautiful individual to ever grace this Earth.

And, no, it hadn't been easy, not by a long shot, but did she care? No. And she wasn't going to run because of that. Everyone who had ran had been utterly heartless-

Well, not everyone who had ran.

Jason had ran, but not from Cheryl. He'd ran from the family, that house of horrors, and he'd planned to come back for her, but the cruel world had stolen that from both of them. More so, Clifford Blossom, shooting his own son - his disgustingly obvious favourite child - in the forehead a better solution to the shame that his son no longer wanting to be a part of his business and him having to find someone else to take over the family name.

And, Toni, assumed, that was why she was now where she was in the grounds of Thornhill. The private cemetery to be exact. Gravestones, some centuries old, stood in uniform rows in the overgrown grass, weeds forming around many of them - since the truth came out, most of the gardeners and staff had left, too afraid to continue in their jobs, and since the fire there really had been no need for the manor to be maintained to it's once pristine standard.

The charred skeleton of Thornhill behind her stood as a reminder of that week which had shook Riverdale. It was sad, really. Everything to do with that mansion was sad. Sad that someone had felt so burdened and ashamed of her mental health, disregarded the fact that she was being abused for so many years, because she thought being that rich out-ruled that, that instead of being pained she was spoilt. Sad that someone had got to the stage where the only way to keep living, to find a way to start fresh was to burn down their house. But, staring at the sorry-looking structure, roof caved in and windows shattered and smoke staining the stone, she couldn't blame her at all.

There were only two fairly maintained areas of Thornhill left, now. One of those was the pool, which had been damaged minimally anyway but Cheryl had organised an end of year pool party so it had to be cleared. As for the other...

The other was Jason's grave. That was the only other part of Thornhill she had tried to take care of. Yes, the grass was probably longer than ideal, but there were no weeds adorning it, instead fresh red and white roses which were replaced before the last bunches had been given the change to die.

Toni had visited his grave many times before now, but most of those she'd only been there for moral support, standing back and giving her girlfriend her privacy as she spoke to her brother, because she knew just how much that meant to have a moment with them, just talking to them as if they were still there, nobody close enough around to listen or judge or anything, yet close enough to be available if they needed anything.

She'd taken Cheryl to her parents. She didn't go as much as Cheryl visited Jason, but that's because she didn't need to much anymore. The pain... it still lingered like an aftertaste which was too stubborn to go away, but she was more numb to it these days. She still cried and yearned for her parents back, of course she did, but it felt like life would go on now.

She traced the scars on the inside of her forearm subconsciously.

Life would go on.

It was easier these days. There was more to look forward to, for both of them.

But today was July 11th, and it had been a year since the day Jason had been shot in the forehead by Clifford Blossom, and one week ago Cheryl and Toni had gone down to the river and tried to make happy memories there, and Cheryl had told her about Jason for hours, everything he'd ever done for her apparently locked up in her head and memorised to the detail because every time she told her something about him it was something Toni had never heard before. But today, the mood was much more solemn, Toni noticed from the second she'd woken up that morning, and they'd been here in this graveyard for over two hours now, and she didn't want to risk anything, so she began to step closer, slowly and quietly, until they were earshot-

"Toni and I are going to California next week," Cheryl said cheerily to her brother, running a thumb along the engraving on the cold stone. "I've probably said this so many times now, since we've been organising it ever since the Sisters was closed down, but we're going. Travelling on Toni's bike around the whole country, before we get there, and then we're going to stay in this hotel by the beach... it's beautiful, Jason, I can't wait."

The corners of the brunette's lips turned up as she sat down on the grass next to the redhead and pulled her leg up to rest her chin on her knee as she gazed at the redhead beauty in front of her eyes.

How did I get so lucky?

"We're going to be gone for a while, JJ. At least four weeks. Which means your flowers will probably be dead before I get back... and I'm not going to be here much until the end of summer, now."

Cheryl frowned, shutting her eyes, and Toni's heart dropped as the redhead whimpered.

She moved closer, hesitating before she wrapped an arm around her waist.

The redhead inhaled sharply, before shaking her head.

"You were right, JJ," she said suddenly. "You always were, y'know when you'd tell me that one day things would get better. That one day, I'd find a girlfriend who loved me unconditionally, who'd care about me more than anyone else in the first. You were right."

She let out a choked sob.

"I miss you. I miss you so much, Jason. And I don't think I'll ever stop missing you... I just want you here to meet her, and I want you here, alive, with Polly, to see mom in prison, to see Riverdale now... it's different. When you died, this town changed... like this permanent grey cloud is hanging over it, and everyone's waiting for the downpour or for it to jump towns..."

She sighed again.

"But then Toni saved me. In every way possible, she saved me... from mommy, from myself, from who I tried to be..." she gave a humourless laugh. "I don't think that I'd be alive to be telling you this right now if it weren't for her. I- I love her. I love her as much as I love you, and because of that, for the first time ever, I have hope that I have a future. And now... now, I'm doing okay,,. I never thought that I'd be able to say that I'm okay, but right now I am okay. Because of her, I'm okay-"

Toni held the redhead as she trailed off into a splutter of helpless sobs, Cheryl burying her face into the other girl's shoulder as she whispered sweet nothings, just like she had so many times before, staying just like that until day turned to dusk.

And, as noted, they were okay.

No; they were more than okay. They were okay, and they were happy, and they were the definition of in love, and it was perfect.