Someone, somewhere asked for this. I forget who. I'm not guaranteeing anything, because I've never written Stoick in any smut before. I'm not totally sure anybody has. But let's see what happens...

-HTTYD-

"Uh-oh."

Valka looked up from her manuscript, spotted her son holding something he had just retrieved from the fridge.

"What is it son?"

"Dad forgot his lunch. I don't know why I bother making it for him if he isn't gonna take it. Ah well, guess I can drop it off on my way to Astrid's."

Looking down at her work and weighing it up against visiting her husband, Valka held out a hand.

"I'll take it. This isn't urgent."

"Are you sure?"

"I know full well that your fathers office is not on the route to Astrid's. I could do with some fresh air anyway."

Hiccup brought the box to her, leant down and kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks mom. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Give Astrid my love."

He smiled, shouldering his overnight bag to take to his girlfriends house.

"I will."

With that, her son headed out to visit his good lady. Astrid was a lovely girl, and made her son very happy. Valka could want for little more in a girl for her boy. Rising from the table, she checked her reflection and opted to change her top and wash her face, both stained with ink, before she ventured out to see her husband.

It was a nice day out; the sunshine felt lovely and stretching her legs was definitely needed. Valka did not do well cooped up, prone to fits of cabin fever that made her a little crazy. At least, that was what her husband told her. Valka didn't think she was really that bad.

The office was a bit of a walk, but it seemed silly to waste the gorgeous weather and Valka enjoyed walking anyway. A pleasant stroll later, she was outside the office her husband worked in.

"Valka? Something wrong?"

Lifting the flap on her satchel bag, Valka lifted the lunchbox out to show the secretary.

"Stoick forgot his food."

"Ah. He's working in the back room today while the window in his office is repaired. Head on through."

Taking the directions, Valka headed through hallways until she reached a door she could hear Stoick's voice on the other side of. Tapping the door gently, she got a rather curt "come in!" as invitation, edged round the door slowly. Stoick's face softened when he saw her though, quickly finishing the call.

"Not that ye aren't a vision, but to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You forgot your lunch my dear."

Stoick accepted the box from his wife, using his free hand to circle her slim wrist and gently pull her closer. Her entire hand fit within his palm alone, but she rather liked how he could encircle her. They embraced, a bristly kiss brushed across her cheek before finding her lips. She'd always felt a little gangly standing at over six foot, towering above many other people both male and female. Then she met Stoick, who was pushing seven foot and dwarfed her comfortably.

"Thanks love."

"It was no trouble. The weather is lovely and, well, I rather like seeing you."

He smiled, years of marriage leaving Valka an expert at interpreting every facial expression even behind his bountiful beard. Even through his business shirt, Valka could feel his radiating body heat and soaked it up like a purring cat in sunshine, strongly considering curling up in his lap and distracting him from office work. Exactly like a cat.

Maybe she'd been spending too long with her ginger tom, Cloudjumper.

Stoick nuzzled her neck, tearing giggles from her throat and demonstrating his ability to make her feel like a silly schoolgirl despite nearly two decades of marriage. She squirmed at the ticklish sensation, fruitlessly pushing at his shoulders with no real intention to move him. Her lack of conviction seemed to show.

"Behave, I only came to bring you your lunch."

"That's what ye always say."

Valka felt the flush spreading across her chest, knowing it would spread upwards to cover her neck and cheeks. Stoick was eyeing her expectantly, certain as could be that every other time Valka had brought him his forgotten lunch, she hadn't left the office again less than flustered and hot under the collar. Usually considerably less composed than she had gone in.

In fact, Valka suspected he forgot his lunch regularly on purpose. Not that either parent would tell their son, his frustration at forgotten food preferable to his distress at the idea his parents still had a sex life.

"Thought ye were leaving."

"You know I'm not."

Stoick chuckled, the sound low and hearty in his broad chest as he boosted Valka up on to his desk, cursing that it wasn't his desk almost immediately. It was lower, less sturdy than Stoick's custom desk designed for his height and bulk, and this imposter was just not the right height for their intentions. It didn't stop him unbuttoning her shirt, stroking thick fingers over her skin and raising goosebumps as she shivered, tipped her head back so he could kiss her again.

"You're as beautiful as the day I met you."

She felt warmed by his affection, though a totally different heat made itself known when she felt him, hot and hard and straining against his work trousers. Valka reached for the fastening, intending to release him from the strict confines with eager hands as Stoick slipped the fabric of her shirt down off her shoulders, baring her as it fell to her bent elbows.

The first button was already loose when the door knocked, both turning scared faces toward the offending wood.

"Mr Haddock?"

-HTTYD-

I'm too tired to finish this tonight so l figured I could upload this little tidbit and see if anyone is even interested in reading this.