Let us go forth together to the spring:

Love must be this, if it be anything.

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xxii.

Kakashi awakes to the sound of his regrets in a form of a headache the size of Konoha, the smell of tea and eggs, and Sakura's voice. He dares not open his eyes yet, so instead, he opens his mouth.

"Yo" he wants to say, but it comes out as "Ugh". The tongue in his mouth feels dry and heavy, as if he had swallowed sand. It is when he sits up that he realizes he has been sleeping on the floor, fully clothed, using the carpet as a blanket.

The left rim of his vision is a blur, a window on rainy days, with the slight difference of feeling like it is on fire. The dead skin beneath his scar is pulsing. There is a stench in the air.

"Good morning." greets Sakura, whom he still cannot see. Not even a patch of pink.

"Where are you?" he asks, and touches his own face, alarmed.

"Your mask is on" the voice says, and finally, Sakura's face glide into his world, from behind him. The cup of tea she places on his old, white table is steaming, the eggs are scrambled. "You smell like distillery and dogpiss."

"My aesthetic." he groans. She laughs, but not unkindly.

"Want me to carry you to the table?"

"I think I completely razed my reputation as it is, so why not."

As she helps him up, he notices that Sakura has her flak jacket on, and that her professional equipments await her next to the door.

"Is this how you usually deal with hospital bureaucracy?" Standing up is especially hard now. The room is a vertigo, but her grip on his arm is gentle steel.

Her eyes follow his. She makes a brushing movement, as if trying to cast aside the question.

"I have Saturdays off. Besides, "and her voice is a little too light now. "One of the med nins in Neji's team has fallen ill. Shikamaru asked me to step in. Just this once. I told Tsunade and she consented."

The table and chair are finally in his reach, but he refuses to sit down now. And while Sakura is still holding his right hand, his left grabs the back the chair.

"Neji and Shikamaru are ANBU."

Sakura licks her lips.

"Yes." her voice is soft.

The realization dawns.

"No." Kakashi says. Suddenly, the room is too bright and sharp, just when the sharingan is alive. Fear makes him alert.

"They asked me nicely."

"Refuse it nicely, then." he knows he is being stubborn and childish. He has not felt this stupid since he left Naruto follow Sasuke and then he himself decided on acting like a hermit.

Sakura puts her hands on her hips.

"I can decide for good what I really want. ANBU is not the end of the world."

"ANBU is death."

"ANBU is a choice and has the potential of protecting people too." Her eyes are darker now, a shade of dark forest. "You have served in it for years and became wiser for it."

Kakashi wants to say, ANBU was an escape for me. He wants to say, you can take a shinobi out of ANBU, but you cannot take ANBU out of that person anymore.

He does not wish this fate for Sakura. But he wants her to make her own choices.

"The hospital is safer space." he says then, factual and cold. "I think ANBU a mistake."

"I am not Rin." she says then, suddenly. Her hands are not on her hips anymore, but palms open, soft, against her sides.

Kakashi goes very still.

The clock on the wall sets a rhythm to the silence. From this close, Kakashi can see that Sakura has some freckles, even though it is winter. She is not angry but sad, rather, and that makes the stubborness in him melt. Sakura is climbing through his fences, he realizes.

"I know" he says, but the tone of it does not ring quite sincere. " I just -"

He does not know how to finish so instead he sits down and buries his head in his hands.

Her voice is impossibly calm and very kind.

"It was not your choice or responsibility then. And it is not now. Rin knew what she was doing. And I know what I am doing."

Looking up, Kakashi smiles. But this time, the look in his eyes is bitter, the smile is an old facade, the one that reminds her of olden times. She hated that smile then and resents it still.

"She had known and she died nevertheless."

"Her. Decision." She is adamant. He blinks.

"Is this only about the mission?"

She does not miss a beat with the answer.

"Are you ready for another conversation?"

Checkmate.

He does not answer, so she puts on her heavy shinobi boots, collects her gears and before she slips out of the door says,

"See you."

"Be safe" he mumbles, but she is already gone.
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xxiii.

First snow falls the next day.

For most part of the week, he vacillates between taking up an S-mission himself or simply lie down and wait for eternal rest to claim him.

Instead, he scrubs the floor six times and washes all of his clothes and sharpens and polishes all his weapons, gives them names and puts them away in alphabetical order. He cleans the windows. He waxes every wooden material. He performs rituals to forbid his mind from wandering and wondering where Sakura is.

Winter has its difficulties, so he takes his team on patrols. He takes them mountain climbing, which means while they freeze their ass off, his students clean the icicles off of the Hokages' noses. Umma is careful - Doctor Haruno is not in town and she would not let another medic nin near her.

Snow reminds Kakashi of their very first mission together, when Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura had to face what being a shinobi really means.

Shinobi, said Zabuza before he died, arms limp and useless against his sides. Use or be used. You are no ninjas until you awoke and slept with the smell of blood.

The memory sends a chill down his spine.

Shinobi is not a shadow. It is a weapon.

"Sensei!" Tassun shouts, way above him. "Can we use some jutsus? Please?"

Kakashi forbids it. He also forbids himself to compare Tassun to Obito. Even though he is prides himself to be a rational man, he is above all a nostalgic men, draped in melancholy.

Rule twenty-five.

Never show your tears.

But Zabuza was not a melancholic man and still, he wept when Haku died. Naruto is like that, but he gives in. Gives all things their due tears. His tears are invert in nature.

Sakura's tears are efficient: she is an emotional being and knows the worth of that. Her tears are public for a reason. She could easily remember and recite the rules while crying for Sasuke when she believed him dead. It did not faze her. Thus her greatest power lies in knowing this compassion is no weakness. Tears as a lesson.

Kakashi has not cried since they buried Minato, and swore he never would. He used to believe that was something to take pride in - something that makes one mature. He does not remember seeing Sasuke shed a tear either and how much respect, how much pride he felt for him. Now he thinks of Sasuke, all hollow; a haggard shell - and takes a sharp look at himself, preserving sanity with total denial (hiding after all, is denial; he is a coward but not a liar) and wonders how could he ever think what they done has been venerable.

He also wonders whether Sakura smiles with the knowledge about the unmitigated power she possesses, topping them all in her wake.

Kakashi thinks; she is a strong one.

And then, a ghost of an idea, as an afterthought;

Sakura must be smiling now, with snow in her hair.

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xxiv.

News comes on Friday.

The smell of hot chocolate is everywhere, because Umma has spilled half of its content on her vest and the other half on Kakashi's. Then her student stops and points at the opposite direction they are heading.

"Look, it is the crabby man." And truly, Neji is standing at the corner of Konoha's main street with Hinata accompanying him. He seems okay, apart from wearing the ugliest coat in the history of Konoha, and the ugliest frown too.

Hinata spots them, and waves. She has her a coat similar to Neji's, but the snow washes out her features.

Kakashi has to get to the lake, but wants - needs - to know about the mission and especially about Sakura's wellbeing.

They are standing far away.

Kakashi might have a premature stroke.

"Umma," he says. "Can you ask crabby man about Sakura? I will run to the lake and bring Koshi back, then we will get lunch."

"Okay." she grimaces. "But we eat at Dango's."

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xxiv.

Maybe he shouldn't have worried. Shouldn't have thought about tears and Zabuza and Haku dying and Sasuke's features slowly and surely be erased from his mind. It must have been a bad omen all along, nevermind Kakashi does not believe in such occurences.

Because instead of Umma waiting for them and Sakura standing there with her all-teeth smile and snow in her hair saying, Are you getting senile in your old age, sensei? See, here I am; it is Neji and Hinata and Tsunade who wait for him.

Kakashi cannot read Tsunade's face, and Neji's frown is absolute and deep, but it is Hinata who makes him freeze. She is the one wearing true grief. She is pale, she, who always blushes. Paleness means sorrow for Hinata and Kakashi's heart sinks, his mind empties.

Koshi whistles at the sight of the three leaders.

"Go home now, Koshi." he says. There must be something in his glare, because the boy looks up at him and he does not joke the order away. He does not even look back as he runs home.

Neji and Hinata lock eyes as Kakashi reaches them. Tsunade looks up at him and this nearness allows Kakashi to see that Tsunade is livid, her eyes have that legendary flame she has cradled since a very young age. Her passion is a heritage of blood.

Kakashi hides his hands behind his back to hide the fact he is shivering, trembling.

"Is she dead?" he asks, slowly. He looks at Tsunade but it is Neji who answers, truthful and cruel.

"We don't know."

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xxv.

It happens like this. Sakura Haruno and Shikamaru Nara with the leadership of Neji Hyuuga complete their S-ranked mission in a perfect three-day tempo, in relative ease. Aim of the mission is to secure a perimeter around Kusa and the border of the Land of the Grass so to ensure the safety of an Iwa convoy. There are no complications, the convoy sends hawk they arrived to their destination in peace and by Captain Hyuuga's orders they are to return home.

However, before leaving, Shikamaru Nara and Sakura Haruno visit Kusa in hopes of obtaining some aliment and some information. This is a tradition among shinobi. When time, make sure to use it wisely. Information is weapon in war, the knife of knowledge wounds deeper than any sword. Neji approves, so he lets them mingle among the villagers.

There is no food, only a rumour, dominant in the city. Two men, two legendary shinobis, are said to have been spotted around the ruins of Kezuma, a former satellite hideout not so far from Eika's base. One is said to be the lost Uchiha heir. The other one is the fox demon of Konoha. They have been said to be disguised as beggars.

It happens like this: a decision needs to be made. To have a second, greater mission without backup or not to have, not to pry, not to try.

Shikamaru Nara votes to have. Neji Hyuuga votes to have. Sakura Haruno votes to have.

Their chakras are full, power and energy not spent. Captain Hyuuga sends a coded telegram home to his cousin, Hinata Hyuuga, who, after transcribing, runs to the Godaime at once with the news. Tsunade Senju does not write anything, because Neji Hyuuga has written: Already on route. No contact.

It is Wednesday dawn when they set out for the ruins, hope in their hearts. For Naruto Uzumaki has this power over them all. Neji thinks of his actions, Shikamaru his eyes, Sakura his words.

They are close. And find them they do.

It happens like this: The two lost ninjas are fleeting from Iwa. Naruto is unconscious, Sasuke is half dragging, half holding him when the three of them find them. Uchiha mistakes them for foes and manages to wound Captain Hyuuga on both legs, when finally Uchiha recognizes Sakura Haruno and ceases his attack.

The medic ninja then insists on healing both Hyuuga and Uzumaki. Uchiha informs them that he is being hunted down by the Explosion Corps and they have no time. Sakura Haruno begins the healing process despite the Uchiha's argument and Neji Hyuuga asks Shikamaru Nara to strategize the fastest escape plan he can come up with. Nara insists on a defensive stance until Uzumaki and the Captain is down. Uchiha and Hyuuga agree.

No sooner Nara draws up a plan where they move onto a higher ground - Kezuma used to be three watchtowers of which one remained intact - the assailants arrive. Twenty-five against five. Naruto is almost healed, but unconscious. Hyuuga cannot get up properly. Shikamaru, Uchiha and Haruno fight for a while and the two of them manage to decimate the opponents. Nara then picks up Captain Hyuuga who orders them to retreat at once. Hyuuga tells Uchiha specifically to get Uzumaki and Haruno both.

Haruno screams for them to remain together. Just as Hyuuga and Nara disappear in the bushes, backup arrives. Haruno begins to attack them once again and Uchiha Sasuke makes the choice of using Haruno as bait. According to him, he has had to choose, and he choose Naruto Uzumaki, leaving Haruno on the battlefield, leaving to fate and chance and her own wit to survive.

The four men return to Konoha without the healer.

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xxvi.

Much to Kakashi's dismay, almost all of the villagers are out on the streets, enveloping the main street as Naruto Uzumaki - limping and pale - accompanies Sasuke Uchiha - shackled and bentbacked- to the shinobi headquarters where judgement awaits him and the mission they completely fucked up. Some villagers spit on the road, some cheer, others are silent as the cenotaph Kakashi has forgotten to visit for a fortnight now.

Within the council, that acts both as judge and jury, are such people as Tsunade (because she is the Hokage and head of this village), Neji (Captain and Commander of said ANBU mission), Shikamaru (a witness), Hinata (head of the greatest clan presently thriving in Konoha), and Kakashi (former sensei and theoretically unbiased outsider).

The room is cold in temperature and color. Behind the table the council is seated, Shizune is attempting to strike a fire with matches, but her hands seem to tremble too much and so any chance for some warmth must be postponed.

Self-inflicted exile and revenge has done no good to Sasuke's complexion. There is a sunken demeanor, a broken angle on his face that transformed him effectively unsightly. Naruto cannot seem to leave his side. They are both standing, elbow to elbow.

The first part of the hearing is about Sasuke's tour around and throughout the lands in order to kill Itachi and overrule the Shinobi countries. Sasuke gives one-word answers. Naruto tries to defend him by quoting Orochimaru and Karin Uzumaki and Sakura and basically half Konoha from the times Sasuke was still a genin prodigy.

By the time Tsunade and Naruto finish arguing whether Sasuke Uchiha truly committed treason, it is already two in the afternoon. They started the hearings early morning.

Now comes the hardest part. The events of the last mission.

"Captain Hyuuga informed me that the ANBU team found you close to the Kezuma ruins." says the Godaime. "Is that correct?"

Sasuke looks at Neji. Clears his throat.

"We were around five miles from the watchtowers."

"Did you hide within the ruins prior to the meeting?"

"Yes."

"For how much time?"

"Two weeks."

"For what reasons?"

It is a milisecond, but Naruto and Sasuke exchange a look that makes everyone rather uncomfortable. Shinobis at this caliber can read each other easily. Tsunade wants none of it.

"Were you injured?"

"We wanted to rest. Naruto had found me in the very West regions of Tsuchi. After convincing me to return, we have been on the road for more than a month."

"Were you resting or hiding, Uchiha?" Tsunade's voice is now sharp.

Sasuke jaws clench and Naruto puts his hand on the shoulder of his friend.

"We knew I was being followed" the not-so-missing nin explained, a tad more aggravated than before. As if talking to halfwits. "We tried to outmanoeuver them with no success. I killed some of them, but seems like their resources exceeded my calculations."

Shikamaru Nara mutters something. Sounds like "No fucking shit".

Naruto decides to cut in.

"We guessed an open confrontation would finish it. But I got injured and knew we had to reach Konoha at once."

To everyone's surprise, Hinata raises her hand, demanding the right to query. Her eyes, though milky, have a sharp tip.

"Sasuke" her voice is not timid, but soft. "Why did you attack my cousin?"

Neji, next to her, crosses his arms.

"We almost got killed a minute before" Sasuke seems downright bored. "I was sure he was enemy too."

"Sharingan." says Hinata simply. Sasuke reddens.

A beat of silence.

"You are going blind" continues Hinata gently. "Aren't you?"

Neji's glare competes with Tsunade's.

"It is not relevant." Sasuke says simply.

"You irresponsible fuck." This is Shikamaru. "You endangered all of our lives by giving us orders while we were trying to save your life."

"We were wasting time."

"We tried to fix the damage you have done. What else we could do with two teammate on the ground, one you put there?"

"I told Sakura - "

Neji prevents Sasuke from finishing.

"Sakura did not follow your orders."

It is useless for Naruto to keep his hands on him, because Sasuke tears himself from his clutch.

"She followed no one's. I told her we cannot waste time and yet she made her choice and started to heal you on the spot."

"Are you saying it is Sakura's fault she got captured?" it is the first time Kakashi speaks up, voice quiet.

Sasuke looks haughty.

"I am saying she put her energy in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Now for that, Kakashi stands up. Sasuke is stronger than him, stockier even in his weakened state, but he is taller by almost an inch, all wire and sinew. He moves around the table carefully, straight like a knife. And faces Uchiha, whom he taught as a mentor and loved as a father a long time ago.

"Is that why you left her behind?" his voice is still very soft, not showing the horrible fury he feels.

Sasuke stares at him, expression plain. Very slowly, he licks his lips. Might he be nervous?

"Sakura is just a medic nin."

And Kakashi Hatake has killed many people in his life, but for a small second, a fleeting moment, he has never wanted to kill anyone more clearly than Sasuke Uchiha, on that cold winter afternoon, in that Konoha council room full of people.

And there must be something the way he is looking at the boy, the way his voice is sounding, because Sasuke is taking a step back and Naruto is stepping in front of Sasuke. Behind him, each member of the council stand as a precaution.

His voice sounds foreign to him, heavy and dead.

"Get him out of here."

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xxvi.

After Naruto pushes Sasuke out, Hinata and Shikamaru leave as well - she touches his back, he nods, both an act of sympathy - and Tsunade, Neji and him remain.

"Rescue mission." he says the moment the door closes.

Neji is looking out the window, on the main square where snow locks the cobblestones deep under dead weight. Tsunade has her head cradled in her hands and sends Shizune for some alcohol before she answers.

"Kakashi" her voice is cautious, warning him to not strain this too much.

"The more we wait the less chance we have." It is a fact. He looks at Neji who still avoids his gaze. Tsunade also refuses to look up.

"I know this. But Sasuke is right and Sakura is a medic nin and one of the brightest in the village. She is a survivor."

"She might be seriously injured, if not dead."

"If she is half the woman I know - and she is, believe me - she will claw and crawl her way out of anything. I taught her well."

"Then let me volunteer for an individual mission. "His voice now has an impatient tinge in it. "Let me have that at lea-"

"ENOUGH." bellows Tsunade and slams both her hands on the table that creaks under her anger. Neji jumps a bit, and Kakashi is very grateful for his mask, because his mouth remains open.

And then Tsunade explodes - her rant is one breath, a tremendous string of ire.

"Do you think I do not care because I did not kill Uchiha Sasuke outright? That it is a weakness or cruelty or disloyalty that I had not opened his guts with my bare hands the moment he stepped into Konoha again? That I was not aware that he is alive through abandoning her and this has not affected me? Because I do not make a public display of my own doubts and fears of what will happen to my most promising heir? Do you think I am made of stone? That I do not fear for Sakura's life and sanity as wholly as you?"

She crosses the space between them. Neji and Kakashi go rigid.

"Let me tell you something, Hatake." She just points at his chest, not even touching, but accusing in all her physicality. "Sasuke abandoned her first. Then Naruto. Then you. You abandoned her too. Remember that? Because I do. She came to me, because she had no mentor left, even though you lived in the same. Fucking. Village." She is unrelenting, not even taking a breath. "Two streets across. And you decided to fuck it all, because there is no worth in helping a girl like Sakura, right? She came to me because you did not find time and energy for her. Not between an Uchiha boy and an Uzumaki prodigy."

She spits. Then takes a deep breath now. With that, Tsunade deflates. Suddenly, she truly looks exhausted, small and fifty years old.

"Truth is - " she is not even looking at him now. "I think all the guilt you feel fuels this anger excellently against Uchiha. Rotten, the both of you. Worthless."

She turns away from him. Kakashi's legs are stone. He looks at a point, way above all of their heads. In the corner of his eyes, Neji is looking at his boots now, tactful and silent.

Luckily, Shizune returns and Tsunade does not even need the glass, she gulps the liquor straight from the sake bottle. She still has her back to the both of them when she opens her mouth again.

"I already sent an ambassador to Iwa. They will talk to the Corps and we can have an agreement. This is my hope."

She wipes her mouth and finally turns to them. Him.

"You should congratulate me on my levelheadedness, Kakashi. I knew I would not be able to count on you now."

Her eyes are full of pity.

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xxvii.

A box arrives four days later. It is addressed to Sasuke Uchiha. The box contains the head of the Konoha envoy. Iwa claims they do not have anyone named Haruno among their prisoners.

A week after the assembly, Sakura's smell is fading from his flat, the plant is withering in the corner. Kakashi sharpens his knives. Shines his shoes. Washes his uniform until his arm goes numb and his fingers weazen under the water. Washes himself carefully, with care.

Nothing is as satisfying as a clean kill.

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xxviii.

Just as Kakashi is checking the content of his bag, there are several footsteps on the stairs, small and swift. The children.

Umma's voice is hysterical.

"Sensei" she might have wanted to knock, but Koshi and Tassun simply fall through the whole door, bringing its hinges with them.

"Please" he says, wanting to say, not now. "The mission is in two hours."

But he is taken aback. All of them are crying.

"What" he says, voice thick. All three of them.

"Sak- Sakura" Tassun says.

"Rock Lee." Koshi adds, as a keyword, as a person he might run to.

Kakashi does not need another word. He jumps through the sad remnants of his door, slides down the stairs in an inhuman speed and runs, flies like a man losing the last of his wits.

Hinata is the first one who he bumps into. She does not say anything, just points to the quarters on the right, Tsunade's home. Where people go to live or die.

He sees him, Rock Lee, at the door.

Someone is screaming.

It is him.

"Is she alive?" he asks, shouts, screams.

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xxix.

"I was at my post when I saw her" Lee's voice is wavering, even now. They have been waiting for Tsunade to come out from the room where she is treating her, Sakura, with the outmost care. "Just a figure, slanting, in the distance. Like a shadow in the snow. Then her hair gave her away, under all that red. I ran to her as fast as I could and she was so relieved upon seeing me."

"Did she say something?"

His heart is beating so loudly it might deafen the corridor. He is trying to contain himself, but finds that he has lost this ability when it comes to Sakura some time ago.

Rock Lee shakes his head.

"She tried to clean the blood off her. She was covered in it." he waits a bit, in shock. "Wouldn't let go of her kunai."

The door opens and Tsunade steps out of the room. She gives them the smallest of her smiles.

"Told you she will live" there is pride in her voice, and infinite, definite relief. Kakashi stands up as Tsunade makes way for him.

Now, Kakashi Hatake has not cried since Minato was buried. Thought it to be sign of open weakness.

Rule twenty-five. Shinobi, the shadow, the weapon.

But upon hearing that Sakura Haruno lives, he excuses himself, wanders into the room where Sakura sleeps now. Her hair spills like a halo around her battered face an there are scars on her neck. Her knuckles are bloody and raw.

But she is here now, alive and safe and in peace. So Kakashi simply falls down on his knees, puts his head onto the bed, very close to her fully bandaged right hand, and begins to weep like a child.

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xxx.

It is at dawn she wakes. Her hand jerks a bit and he is there, sliding to the floor from his seat.

"Kakashi" she states, in the semi-darkness, voice raspy. Her right hand flies into what feels like an abysmal space between them. He catches it very tenderly.

"Are you in pain?"

Sakura's eyes open up and focus. He wonders whether she has a fever. Her eyes are very bright though the light is scarce.

"Just very thirsty." A confession.

Turns out even with her hands healed she cannot really use them. But maybe because she is Sakura and he is Kakashi, they manage. She tilts her head and lets him pour the water into her mouth. Her palms and her wrists have fresh bandages. She must have literally beat her way out of Kezuma.

It takes a nod of her head for him to know that she had enough. Kakashi wants to let her sleep, but she does not let his hand go and as the sun rises, they look into each other's eyes; seeing the unseen; a different chain of confession.

"I am sorry for doubting you." he says finally. Softly. That is all he wishes for her now and have wished for her since a long time.

"You were afraid" Sakura says. One of her molar teeth on the left is missing. A proof of her tenacity. She is made of sterner stuff than him, because he wants to cry again.

"Terrified."

Nothing in Kakashi's life turned out how he used to imagine it - fate or taken roads denied him in a way that he gave up trying to predict the course of his life altogether - but when Sakura leans to kiss his cheeks, the surprise feels like a blessing, and not a curse.

The angle is awkard. It does not matter.

"But here I am" and she smiles then, pearlwhite. The sensation of her goes straight into his head. He feels light and carefree and he is still terrified of the very notion of rushing this - whatever - they have. He cannot say anything grandiose. He cannot, for the life of him, begin to unravel and murmur what he feels for her. But Sakura does not need grandiose, because when he tries to mutter and fails, she touches his cheeks, lightly and carefully.

He kisses the top of her head, because even in sitting he is slightly taller than her. Sakura looks up, expectant and smiling, like she did in Suna months ago, back when Kakashi has realized he wanted her.

Her smile is not teasing, it is welcoming and patient. He wonders if she can hear his heartbeat as her palms move from his jaw to his chest, just above his heart, below and between the collarbones. He wonders if he feels his heart beating its cage at the sight of her face.

And it seems Sakura might hear and know now, because she leans in again, and brushes his chin with the tip of her nose, careful.

"Hey" she whispers, breathes. There is no other sound then, except their heartbeat, and he feels like fainting, the way she looks at him now. "I know. I know."

He places hands on her own, fingers grazing fingers and he leads her hands to the hem, the edge of his mask. Sakura stares, mesmerizes. Kakashi feels his mouth going dry, his own tongue heavy with something called desire as they peel off this shield, this hideaway he has kept up for years. It is the most intimate act either of them has ever witnessed or done.

The unveiling reveals a long, slightly bent nose, a wide mouth with some crooked teeth. All dimples, as he smiles and his scar dances with this movement, his whole face a dazzling, wondrous movement. Just at the left fold of his chin there is a beauty spot. He has some stubbles and he smells clean, clear, all too human and beautiful. He is beautiful.

Aaaand, she just said this out loud.

"Two of us then" he laughs. Sakura laughs too, a heavenly sound, and he feels so weak as she draws him in the bed with her, bringing his body onto her own. He envelopes her altogether.

"You are also bad influence."

"Am I now?" Another laugh from Sakura, but it feels breathless now, something that makes him greedy and a little too desperate for more. He feels possessive and reverent at the same time. Thinks it selfish.

"Am I hurting you?"

She shakes her head and turns their position, so Kakashi is under her now, the world upside down. It has never felt so right.

And maybe because he is Kakashi and she is Sakura, and although they are both automatic at killing, they are slow and unsure at lovemaking, so they take their time to memorize this moment at the beginning of the day.

She kisses the patch of discolored skin at his jaw and he sighs while his fingers travels at her hips, his palms spreading around the curve of her belly. She tastes a bit like blood and medication and almonds - her kisses are intense, too much teeth and tongue, but it is so Sakura-like that it makes both of his eyes flutter at the sensation. He is already hard but this is no surprise either.

She has that intention and attention that makes him unravel and when he slips one long finger past the elastic of her underwear, the warmth and the wet he finds there makes them both moan.

There is a confidence with which he meets her eyes and they converse nonverbally - do you want this, do you want me, do you want me now, gods, yesyesyes- and the way she inhales now is a sure signal that she enjoys how he slips another two fingers inside her. His black pants whisper and rustle in the silence just as she slips them from his waist. The white hospital shirt is two times larger than her size - it is easy to slide it a bit down so he can kiss her breasts.

He wants to smile - maybe crack a joke - but his mouth is full and her blunt nails cut onto his scalp and the pain and the pleasure merge like electricity.

They take their time positioning - Kakashi asks, Sakura responds; they are open and shameless communicators after all - and her thighs are strong and sure when they are wrapped around his hips; a feeling so natural it is almost scary. And just as her legs are strong, so are his hands as he leads himself to her entrance. She sinks down, falls easily, gives in, and then he is inside of her; hot and content. His fingers find her waist and spine and he groans with pleasure.

She swears. Or maybe it is him.

The material of his shirt tousle when she clenches it by starting to move. She must like the way the wool touches and rubs at the skin of her breasts, he thinks, and is mesmerized how her hair chooses to dance across her temple and around her neck. He thinks of deities and says her name. They are in no hurry. Sakura is rocking back and forth like a mantra, like a prayer and he wants to brand this image, the image of her altarlike body into his eyes and brain as she bears her weight and her pleasure down on him.

"Maybe you are tiring after all." he breathes. Her eyes are closed, lids heavy with passion. She sticks her tongue out as an answer.

"Not my fault" she whispers, opens her eyes. Then arches her hips in a way that his whole body goes stiff and he almost comes then and there.

He sits up in retaliation, and embraces her closely and carefully, so that there is not an inch separating them. It is a support of a kind, this framing of her body; she is magnificent in her unwinding. It could be him deciphering her, but Kakashi has seen through Sakura a long time ago just as she solved him a decade ago, not as a riddle, but as a poem, all loveliness, good deeds.

Some of the pink color from her cheek travels down toward her belly and in-between her thighs. She is getting close and when she fastens the pace there is a pressure at the base of his back presaging his own orgasm. Her thrusts are haphazardous now, no true angles, but this incidental pain, yet again, comes with a jarring-searing like pleasure that makes him see double.

Kakashi thinks, pull out, but Sakura clenches around him, arms around his neck, strong and decisive and he is hit with her pleasure, this unrelenting phenomenon, that makes him come and he empties himself in her. It is a trading of treasure; a purge, a cleansing, a confession. Pleasure comes in loud waves, white-hot thunders, the saltsweat feels sweet in the valley of her breasts when he opens his mouth to taste her skin for what he fears will be the last time. He is a cynic, above all. Even in the greatest pleasures.

She is resting her head on his a bit after and he touches the damp fistful of magenta hair at the base of her neck, the one he always dreamt of before. The bed is very small, but he decides to roll himself all up around her afterwards.

Sakura is the first to talk. She is braver than him, always.

"You better not think I did this in a fit of feverish instict." She sounds sleepy and content. Peaceful. She is drawing tiny circles on his wrist.

"Do you not care about Tsunade killing me in the morning?" he also feels in peace. Either way, Sakura will make a choice and he is either going to endure life as it is or be the happiest he has been for a long while. She shots him a look. The sun is up now, burning it is wake. The snow outside will melt in a week.

"She knows it will affect me negatively. Tsunade holds my interests close to her heart."

"Ah. So I have a chance after all."

"Chance?"

"To survive."

Sakura laughs. Kakashi remains serious and lowers his voice. He has to be brave too, now.

"But living might be better."

Sakura stops laughing. Her expression displays sudden shyness, as if he told her what she wanted to hear. He feels shy too, like an adolescent. In a certain way, in this case, in love, he feels lacking and sheepish.

Then Sakura, whom he has respected for years and loved for a while, looks up and says;

"Living together?"

He kisses her knuckles that saved many lives, including his, and fought and conquered even more, again, inclusing him, all victorious.

Answers lightly, all dimples:

"Yes, let us try."