The next morning

The sun was shining, birds were tweeting. 12-year-old Sasuke Turnip Greens Uchiha was smoking a carton of Newport cigarettes and drinking a few shots of whiskey and rolling joints bigger than King Kong's fingers. He smoked an ounce of the kush and blew it out his nose and Shrek green boogers flew out.

He was eating grits mixed with cut up hotdogs and watching The View and started fartin when he saw Whoopi Goldberg.

Suddenly the show was cut off with a sudden BREAKING NEWS headline showing up on the screen. It showed a news anchor sitting at a desk and he said, "BREAKING NEWS! President Tsunade has ordered a martial law for our country. Here's Connie Chung with more details." Mayonnaise

The screen transitioned to a tiny Chinese lady with small slanted beady eyes standing outside the White House and she smiled her thin red lips at the camera and said, "Yes, today our President Senju Tsunade has ordered that every occupant in the United States of America must wear a diaper right now"

The Chinese news anchor lifted up her skirt and showed the camera her diaper that she was wearing. There were little Chinese takeout boxes on them. Then the camera turned around to the camera man and he showed his diaper with cute little Pooh Bear designs on it.

"The law has already taken affect so everyone should be wearing a diaper now or else face serious charges such as the death penalty or execution or public humiliation" Connie Chung went on.

There was a riot happening behind her of protesters chanting "NO DIAPERS, NO DIAPERS" and getting pepper sprayed by the cops who were wearing bullet proof diapers.

Sasuke switched the TV off and smiled.

"Hn."