Harry Potter isn't mine.

This is for gr8roxkstarrox as an early birthday present! Happy birthday!

Chapter 6 Love

"You're home," Kat had whispered to baby Aurora a few days after she was born. Draco was back at school, a fact that was gnawing at the back of her mind. She tried not to think of it as she slowly gave Aurora a tour.

"The house elves have everything perfect for her," Mum boasted. "More toys than anyone could ask for."

"I picked them," Dad added proudly. Kat smiled at the sight of a huge lock on the liquor cabinet. The baby couldn't even sit up yet.

"Are you sure she should have her own room?" Kat asked worriedly as mother coaxed her up the stairs. "What if—"

"You'll get much better sleep this way," Mum insisted. "Both of you. Perhaps I'll get you a breast pump so the house elves can feed her at night."

Kat frowned. That was the plan for September. "No. I'm her mum. Not them."

Mum sighed like she was being ridiculous. "It's what I did when you were a baby. It's exhausting."

They'd force her to do it in September. Then she'd only see Rory at night, if she was lucky. For now, she wanted as much time with her daughter as she could get. "I'm her mum."

"You're home," Draco whispered. They didn't speak about Pansy, who left as soon as she was cleared by hospital staff, saying she had a meeting in Hong Kong to get ready for. "Let's give you a tour, shall we?"

Kat watched as Draco treated Scorpius as if he were made of glass. She had been the same way too of course. Rory had been just as tiny.

"This is your sister's room," Draco said as he passed the living room. "She'll visit soon, I'm sure of it. And… I suppose I'll take you up to your, well our room, next."

He hesitated at the stairs, just like Kat had done. Gently, Kat nudged him, just like her mum had done. And just like Mum, she quietly said, "It's okay. You won't drop him."

With a nervous, deep breath, Draco, for once in his life, forced himself to do something he was afraid to do. Kat tried not to be jealous. Why couldn't he do this for her and Rory?

"Still avoiding home, princess? Two whole weeks. That's a record for you." God he was infuriating.

"Still avoiding Defense?" Rory said cruelly. She pushed passed him and started heading for the library. Two weeks later and she still wasn't in the mood for anything but books. Mum should understand that she didn't want to make up with Dad, and it was her choice. She was almost an adult and wasn't going to be his second doormat.

Ted smirked. "How's it feel to turn into me?"

She wasn't turning into him. She was angry and rightfully so. Rory stuck her nose in the air. "I have to study."

"Miss Potter?"

A few weeks into class and Kat was finally realizing how hard it was going to be. School on top of working full time and teaching Draco how to deal with a screaming baby was getting to be too much. She was shocked to find Draco didn't even know how to change a nappy. Surely he had changed Rory's, hadn't he?

"Miss Potter!" Professor Zabini repeated causing Kat to snap out of it. Class was over for the night, and she was mindlessly heading out, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before work. "I wanted to talk to you about your Transfiguration essay."

Kat bit her lip. Hopefully it didn't have baby spit up on it… "About that…"

He smiled, making her wonder if he was going to make fun of her. "You got the only O in the class."

"What?" Maybe her sleep deprived brain didn't hear him right.

But no. The grumpy git continued smiling. "This…" He tapped her essay with his wand. It had a big red "O" on it. "…is not the work of a drop out. It's excellent."

That brought Kat back to reality. He had just assumed she was stupid. "Excuse me?"

He blinked in surprise at her incredulity. "I gave you a compliment, Miss Potter."

"I didn't drop out because I was too stupid to finish," Kat yelled. She was exhausted and quick to jump to conclusions. "I dropped out because I had a baby. Do you even know anyone in this class or do you just drone on and think about how superior you are all night?"

Zabini raised his eyebrows as if she were being unreasonable. "I am here to help you get your diploma and nothing else. Sorry for congratulating you. Won't happen again."

Kat rolled her eyes and left.

Since she was lazy and didn't feel like walking to Hogsmeade to apparate, Kat headed for McGonagall's to use her floo. She didn't even plan on asking. That's how grumpy she was. McGonagall had better watch out.

But instead quite literally she ran into Rory. The two of them stared at each other for a long time and didn't move until Rory picked up the books she dropped. Sure, they had bickered throughout the years, but they had never fought like this before. Her daughter thinned her lips and finally said what had been on her mind over the past few weeks.

"Why'd you pick him over me?"

Kat jumped, as if the very thought would knock her over. "What?"

Rory tried that annoying Malfoy trait of hiding her emotions, but ultimately, the Potter shined through, and her eyes turned a bit shiny. "I don't want anything to do with him, and you-you just let him move in!"

"I… I figured you wanted to see your brother," Kat tried. She bit her lip. "I thought it would be easier for you to see him with Narcissa sniffing about."

"Half-brother," Rory corrected. "And don't deny that this is about him too, Mum. It's always about Dad. You just can't let him go. And I want to."

Kat looked at her feet. She had never wanted her daughter to hate her father. That was part of the reason she always let him around. But only part. No matter how many years passed, she always believed… "He's going to change. He already is and—"

"I'm not falling for it, Mum," Rory said firmly. "And you need to stop falling for it too."

Her daughter walked away, leaving Kat heartbroken. She had to fix this.

Rory knew that Mum was at a loss, but she never, in all her wildest dreams, thought that she would sic Grandma on her. She was in the library, of course, when the formidable woman was strutting through the books shelves. Several students glanced fearfully at her, probably hoping she wasn't a new professor.

"There you are." Grandma sat down before Rory could make an excuse and flee. "You missed two family dinners. You will not miss a third."

"I've been very busy, Grandma," Rory tried, knowing that all her efforts were in vain. "We have finals before Christmas break—"

"We didn't believe your mother when she said that the two of you were fighting," Grandma went on. "So she opted to tell us that you were in a coma. And you know your Great Uncle Sirius, as gullible was ever." She rolled her eyes and waited for Rory to respond.

Rory ran her fingers over the alchemy textbook she was reading. Books were her only refuge when she was this unhappy. Unfortunately, there was no ignoring Grandma. "I'll talk to her when he leaves again. Maybe when he's not around she'll see reason."

Grandma laughed slightly, making Rory glare at her. "You're just as stubborn as him, as you've been calling him." She held up her hand when Rory started to protest. "You have every right to be angry with him, but do you really never want to see or speak to your father again?"

She wanted to childishly say Yes but knew that wouldn't work on Grandma. As Mum would say, Grandma would peck and peck at you until she until she broke through your shell and got to the meat of the truth. "I was hoping he'd want to change for me. Not for…"

It was a horrible thought. She didn't want Dad to neglect Scorpius or be just as flighty with him as he was with her. But still… Why wasn't she enough? Scorpius was, and she hadn't been.

Grandma softened, a rare sight to behold. "He does love you. As much as his very presence irritates me… I know he does love you. It isn't you, Rory. It's the simple fact that it's a lot easier to become a father at thirty two than it is at sixteen."

"It was easy for Mum." Rory pouted slightly at Grandma's incredulous laugh. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, yes I suppose I do." But Grandma was still smiling. "And I know why you're mad at your mother. Although she won't admit it, I'm sure she secretly hopes that Draco will finally settle down and be a father to you and Scorpius."

"She won't admit it because it's a fairy tale," Rory grumbled. Life wasn't a fairy tale.

Grandma shrugged and rose from her seat. "I suppose you'll see at dinner Sunday."

What? She had never agreed to that. "Grandma!"

All she got was a wink. A bloody wink like this was funny. "Six o'clock sharp."

"We're running late!" Kat whined. The house, like her life, was a mess. Somehow, sixteen years later, she had forgotten how hard it was to care for a newborn. She wondered if her parents had thought she was as stupid as she thought Draco was right now. "You forgot the nappies."

Draco looked at the diaper bag and swore. She had never recalled him being so tired. Meanwhile, Scorpius wailed in his arms, causing Kat to pity him and summon the nappies. From the look on his face, he had lost his wand too.

"Where's the formula?"

"In the cabinet where it's been for the last two weeks." Of course he had yet to make it. Of course. She had just gotten home from work an hour ago. "I'll magically make it."

"He doesn't like it when you magically make it!" Draco frantically looked around the room and snatched up a bottle. A bottle that he had to clean. "I-I'll be quick… Here… Can-can you take him?"

Before she could answer, Draco practically shoved the baby at her and ran to the kitchen. Her heart clenched. She hardly ever held him, and to her, he was just the baby that she was helping Draco take care of. There was no connection, no spark, making Kat feel guilty whenever she held him. As a result, she hardly ever did.

He cried and cried and cried. Kat found herself staring. He was hungry. That's why he was crying so much. He couldn't possibly know how she felt about him, could she?

Within a few minutes, Draco came back, thank God. He smiled tiredly and took Scorpius from her arms. "I'll wait until after we apparate to feed him."

Kat nodded numbly. "Unless you want to be covered in baby barf."

About ten minutes later, they were both ready and both completely exhausted. Now the real fun could begin.

"Kat! I didn't know you were expecting!" Dad grinned proudly at his own joke as Kat clumsily stumbled through the floo, Draco nervously trailing behind her as he had been since they brought Scorpius home. Sunday dinners were usually a few hours peace, but at hearing that Rory was finally coming, he invited himself and Scorpius.

Her hair was a rats' nest. Makeup could barely cover the dark circles under her eyes and she was pretty sure she forgot to put deodorant on today. Had she been this tired when Rory was a baby? Well yes… but there was a difference. A difference that Kat didn't want to admit.

Dad faltered under Kat's exhausted, somewhat annoyed stare. "Too soon?"

"There'd better be cake," was all Kat would say as she headed straight for the dining room.

Rory was there as promised, and she stopped her conversation with Mum as soon as she saw Kat. She wouldn't look at Draco or her wailing brother. Mum, being Mum, didn't hesitate to insult Draco.

"I see you haven't remembered to bring your own dessert to tease me with," she said lightly. "I know it is difficult being a first time parent."

Draco blinked, too brain to sluggish from lack of sleep to understand what she was saying, that he hadn't a real parent to Rory. "He's just hungry…"

Rory raised her eyebrows as she forced herself to look at Draco, not used to seeing her father looking so disheveled. Kat sat down and didn't say anything as Draco shrugged with the diaper bag, baby, and bottle. Surely it hadn't been this hard with Rory. Surely…

Dad sat down without a care in the world. "He's got a wonderful set of lungs, doesn't he?"

"He's just hungry…" Draco muttered tiredly as he finally quieted Scorpius with the bottle.

Kat ignored him. This was supposed to be her night off. "Did you get my letters, Rory?"

"Yes, they really kept the fire going, thank you," her daughter said coldly. "Grandma, what's the new house elf's name?"

"Poppy," Mum said calmly as she started eating. "But I didn't ask you to come to discuss house elves."

"Poppy makes the best pudding," Dad butted in.

"You didn't ask me. You told me," Rory grumbled.

The room went silent, and Dad looked afraid for Rory. No one sassed Lily Potter. Her nostrils flared, and Kat was reminded of when she was thirteen and got caught kissing Draco in a broom closet. Mum thinned her lips but was surprisingly kind. Well, Lily Potter kind that is.

"I know it's not your fault that you had children for parents." She ignored Kat's narrowed eyes. "They're trying the best they can even though they are complete fools."

"Mum!"

"And they love you. Both of them," Mum went on. "Your mother truly does think that having Draco around is what's best for you, and your father finally decided he feels like growing up."

"Mum!"

She kept on ignoring Kat. "Because if Kat thought otherwise, she would have cut all contact off with him years ago. And if Draco hadn't changed at all, he would have left Kat with the baby long ago, and he certainly wouldn't have come here knowing that you're so angry with him."

Rory's face turned a bit pink, knowing Mum was right. Ever the Malfoy, she merely picked at her food. Draco's eyes ping ponged from Kat to Roy, waiting for one of them to say something. Kat was afraid to, probably just like Rory was.

"I thought," Kat bravely whispered, "that we'd all be a family again…"

Rory's face turned pinker and pinker until it became obvious that she was holding back tears. "Again? We never were! We were just his frie—"

She darted off so that no one would see her cry. Kat looked down at her feet, not knowing how to tell her otherwise. He always used to just come over for parties, holidays, fun days out, or when he wanted to hang out with them. And when he couldn't come around, it was hardly ever that big a deal. Like when a friend wanted to come play but realized he had other plans.

"I… I suppose I should talk to her," Draco said hoarsely, like he hoped someone would stop him and tell him that he didn't have to. No one said a word.

As he slowly rose from his seat, Dad held out his arms. "Let me see my grandson."

Draco blinked in surprise but wordlessly handed over Scorpius. Kat didn't know how to feel about his easy acceptance. She watched Draco go and felt guilt fester in her chest. Why couldn't she be as accepting as Dad?

Rory stood by the floo and balled her fists in her eyes. She fully planned to go back to school and act like nothing happened. Maybe she'd write back to Mum next week. Or the week after that. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a tentative knock behind her.

"Grandpa says only Potters are allowed in his office." Rory tried to keep his voice even.

"You know, I thought you'd be a Malfoy," Dad forced himself to say. "I wanted to get married after you were born, but your mother said no about a month before…"

Rory turned to face him. Mum had said no? To Dad? "She wouldn't have."

"She did." Dad smiled grimly. "Said I only wanted to marry her because she was having a baby and our parents were furious at us. I was so angry with her. I even found myself blaming her for things… things that were my own doing. If we were married, I would be around more, I told myself, because we would be living together."

"Would you have?" Rory found herself asking.

"No," Dad said automatically, confusing Rory further. "She was right. We wouldn't have made it. Because a wedding ring wouldn't change the fact that I was too afraid of being a dad to put any of the work in. I was too anxious even to hold you, and I started distancing myself, and I kept saying to myself, she doesn't want to marry me anyway. She doesn't want me around… Once I graduate it will be different… Once I start earning money, I'll make things right… I was always making excuses…"

"Because you didn't want me," Rory said thickly. "Not like you want him."

"That's not true." Dad's eyes filled with tears, and Rory wondered if it was because it was true. He hadn't wanted her. "I love you."

"But you didn't want me." She was crying now too. "Mum said she was scared. She was scared, but then I was born, and she loved me too much to leave me with those house elves! But you left me! You didn't want me!"

"I WANTED YOU!" Dad yelled. He immediately took a step back and looked away. "I wanted you… I… my chest got tight, and-and I couldn't breathe, and I thought I might die, but when I didn't do the things I needed to do that feeling went away and… I wanted you. I just didn't know how…"

Rory wanted to say something mean and hateful, like that he was immature, pathetic, and a liar. She wanted to tell him that he was making up excuses, and he wasn't allowed to be her dad anymore. Instead, the truth slipped out. "But you're willing to fight through that for him." And not for me.

Dad shook his head. "When Pansy told me she was pregnant, I started thinking about when you were a baby. I was becoming a father again, and I realized I had no idea what to do. I didn't know about any of the things I should have done with you. I remembered that you didn't really recognize me until you were a toddler. I remember how I missed your seventh birthday or your first instances of accidental magic. I've never read to you. I never taught you how to fly a broom. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Rory kept listening. She couldn't remember having this serious of a conversation with her dad. He was always just her friend. A friend she could goof off with and take to a zoo, but not a friend that she would tell secrets to, not a friend who she would ever confide in. And just when she thought he was going to change, she found it he was having a baby with a woman she never even met.

"And then Snape sent me a letter." Dad laughed bitterly. "I am very impressed by your daughter's academic record. Only one candidate is chosen every five years, and I would like to know more about her, as I am seriously considering asking for an interview next year. I read the letter about a hundred times, but it didn't change the fact that I couldn't think of one damn thing to write. It had cemented what I had been thinking about over and over again for months. I fucked everything up, and I so desperately wanted to make it right…"

Rory wiped her eyes and wished her throat would stop clenching. She wished that she didn't care. "I have an interest in Muggle medicine." She swallowed. "You could write about that. Or that I'm deathly afraid of doxies. Or that I know some French from Fleur but only rude phrases. And that I wish my dad would teach me, if he had the time. Or…"

"I have time," Dad said firmly. Dad was never firm. "Ma fille."

"Je n'ai pas le temps pour tes bêtises." I have no time for your nonsense. Rory bit back a smile when he laughed nervously. "Fleur says that to customers all the time…"

"I want to do better for you," Draco said quietly. "I hope that one day you can forgive me."

"I will…" But she hadn't yet. She needed more than just words. She needed actions, actual effort. "…I have a debate next week. About whether werewolves should be forced to take wolfsbane or not. Friday night at 8:00."

"I'll be there," he said without thinking, without giving a vague, noncommittal answer.

Rory nodded. Part of her wanted to hug him, but another part, a bigger part, wanted to wait until after the debate. Then, she'd see that he cared enough to come. He cared enough to try. "Mum's going to complain about dessert being delayed."

Draco held out his arm, like they did in the old movies. "Shall we face the hungry Potters together?"

Hesitantly, she tucked her arm into his. "I suppose I should save by baby brother."

Dad smiled at her sadly. "You already did."

She wasn't a hundred percent sure what he meant by that…

"How's being a new mum?" Astoria teased the following Monday. Kat ignored her and poured herself a cup of coffee. Astoria always liked to run her mouth while she was cooking. Any other topic, and Kat would have been joking, laughing, and talking shit with her. "That bad, huh?"

"No," Kat said sourly as she poured a disgusting amount of sugar into her mug. Astoria stopped cooking and stared her down. Tiredness made Kat want to burst into tears. Instead, she took a sip of her nasty coffee. "I thought it'd be easy."

"Having a newborn, going to school, and working full time?" Astoria asked lightly.

Kat shook her head and lead Astoria to the freezer, where no one was around to listen. Then, quietly, shamefully, she whispered, "Loving Scorpius." Astoria frowned. "He looks like Rory. He cries like Rory did. Hell, she even had the same baby smell."

"But he's not your baby," Astoria said understandingly. "Kat, his very existence made you break up with—"

Kat shook her head. "It wasn't his fault."

"Things will change," Astoria tried. "You're exhausted. You're on thin ice with Rory, and you have a million other responsibilities. In time—"

"And if it doesn't?" Kat fretted. "What if I never love him? I'll be that cold step-mum they write books about. He'll be afraid of me. He won't like me. He—"

"The fact that you're worried tells me it will change, Kat." She put her hand on her best friend's shoulder. "Give it time."

That was all she could do. Kat hoped she was right.

Yet again, Lily couldn't sleep. James was out cold beside her, no surprises there. In the distance, she could hear Kat talking to baby Aurora. She talked to her all the time about anything and everything. Books, Muggle TV, food, toys… Two months had passed, and Lily wondered if she was lonely.

Two months. Lily tried to be like James and Kat, loving fiercely and unconditionally. Their love for little Aurora was instant while Lily struggled to even look at her. In a way, she was like Draco, nervous, distant, and inadequate.

But she also wasn't. Draco loved Aurora in a confused sort of way. He wanted to be the best for her but gave up before even trying, knowing he would fail. Lily on the other hand…

She was disappointed that Kat wouldn't go to college. Deep down, she knew in her heart that Kat would fight them tooth and nail about going back to Hogwarts. All her dreams and ambitions were just… gone. It broke Lily's heart. There was so much she could have been, could have done. Aurora was a constant reminder of that.

Such thoughts made Lily feel guilty. She longed to talk to Narcissa, who would dramatically support her feelings, make her feel less guilty, but something stopped her. She didn't want to feel this way. She just did. And she wanted to feel differently. She wanted to look at Aurora and feel overwhelmed with love and joy, just like James and Kat.

"Mum!" Kat was crying, making Lily close the book she was pretending to read and sit up in alarm. James stirred in his sleep but didn't budge. "She-she just won't sleep! She never sleeps! I haven't slept in t-two months!"

Lily tried her best to keep a straight face, but her lips twitched a bit, and Kat rewarded her by marching to the bed and thrusting the baby towards her. She had no choice but to take her and that festering guilty hole made her chest tighten. Kat was too tired to notice.

So there Lily was, a crying baby in her arms, Kat snuggling up on one side of her already half asleep, and James snuggled to her other side snoring away. Hesitantly, Lily caressed Aurora's tiny cheek, just like she used to do to Kat. It was only sixteen years ago.

"Shhhh…" She never thought she'd be a grandmother at thirty six. But then again, who did? Her own mother had been barely forty when Kat was born. "You just want attention, don't you?"

Lily bounced her slightly as her wails lessened and her face went from light red to a flustered pink. Kat had been a demanding baby. "You're cake compared to her."

The crying quieted even more, making Lily wonder if Aurora recognized her voice. She kept her distance, so maybe she didn't. For some reason, that really bothered Lily. She was a baby. It wasn't like she would remember the first few weeks of her life. But still…

"You're mother would've been a fantastic auror," Lily whispered. The baby glanced at her with tear filled eyes. "But, I think she'll be great at whatever she does, don't you think?"

She was rewarded with a slight smile. Aurora didn't seem sure if she was doing the right thing herself. Lily ran her hand through her wispy, white blonde hair and was rewarded with a true smile, a social smile. The guilty hole swelled into something else.

"I love you, Mum," Kat mumbled in her sleep. Yes. That's what it was. Love.

"I think he's sick," Draco panicked. Kat was lying in her bed, pretending to sleep. For good measure, she flinched when he turned the light on. "He just won't stop crying! He won't eat. His nappy's dry. He won't sleep… I-I don't know!"

Kat rubbed her ever-burning eyes. "He's probably tired."

"Then why won't he sleep!"

Because he's a cranky baby, Kat thought as she pushed herself up. "He's probably too tired to sleep."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Surely she wasn't this hysterical with Rory… But he really was trying. And he made up with Rory. Sort of. Like sixty percent made up. Her debate was in a few days, and he was already nervous about going.

With an overdramatic groan, Kat held out her arms. "Here. He probably senses you're upset. Go get some sleep."

Draco didn't seem to want to give him up, still worried that he was sick. "Should I firecall St. Mungo's?"

Kat shook her head as he eased Scorpius into her arms. At the transfer, she bounced him slightly, and he started quieting down. Soon enough, he was completely silent. They took one look at each other and started laughing.

"It's not even… that funny," Draco said between laughs. Scorpius was starting to get droopy eyed. "I really thought he was sick!"

"No. He's just your son." Kat grinned. "And therefore, a brat."

Draco glared at her but said nothing in disagreement. Instead, he reached to take Scorpius from her, but Kat shook her head.

"Get some sleep." She shrugged like it was nothing. "I have off tomorrow. We'll read and do some homework together."

"Oh." Draco pursed his lips, wanting to say more. Kat could see it in his eyes. This is how it should've been with us, back then. He wanted to climb into bed with her, and they could act like a proper family. They could take turns with the baby and halfheartedly argue over whose turn it was. In the morning, they'd snuggle with him instead of getting out of bed and starting their day. There was only one problem.

"We'll see you in the morning," Kat forced herself to say. She wasn't ready, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever be. The thought made her heart sink.

Draco looked hurt, but he nodded and went back to his room. Kat wondered if she should explain, but she was worried he wouldn't understand and be even more upset.

"He'll be fine," Kat muttered as the door shut behind her. Scorpius was drifting off to sleep, not a care in the world. She smiled as he sighed in his sleep. "Maybe the three of us can spend the day together. Four of us, if your sister could tear herself away from the books. Nerd."

She talked to Rory all the time when she was a baby. Back then, she wanted Rory to know everything, and when she ran out of words, she read to her, day and night, day and night. She never shut up, Mum would say.

"I'll read my textbook to you and…" Kat paused when Scorpius moaned slightly. Without thinking, she let him suck on her index finger, just like she had done with Rory. "And when we need a break, we'll send funny letters to Rory. Or watch a movie."

When he first came home, she had wanted to resent Scorpius. It would be easier to keep her distance, show Draco how to be a halfway decent parent and then tell him to get a job and move out. It would be easier to be that weird, step-mother like figure, even though she told Astoria that that sounded ghastly.

At first she did and tried to hold on to those feelings. Then she felt guilty and confided in Astoria. She was worried she didn't love him, but as she sat with him like she did with Rory, she couldn't deny how she felt.

"I wish you were mine," Kat whispered, figuring Draco had gone to bed. "I love you, but you aren't mine."

With another sigh, Scorpius stopped sucking on her finger and turned to her, leaning into her chest contentedly. He didn't seem to care, and Kat wished she didn't either.

"But we can pretend." She bit her lip. "Just for tonight."

Thank you for the reviews of chapter 5 Ern Estine 13624, myafroatemydog, Padfootette, Guest, gr8roxkstarrox, and fanfictionlover1234567890!

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