As it turns out, there's a lot of reviews I haven't answered, since the last time I actually went through them was… February 2018, if the chapter posting date from chapter 7 on AO3 is correct…
I am so sorry.
We'll do these in order of posting, oldest to newest this time since it makes a little more sense, as long as there's a question or something to discuss in them.
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Q&A with OP
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everyone who commented on me slyly dropping in a steamed hams gag or two: I'm trash. I'm not sorry for this.
everyone who just dropped by to leave words of encouragement: I love you all. It's you guys that I keep writing for. And Moni.
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Anonagon, 2/15/18:
Fair warning - this site has rules against non-story content; very out of touch, especially compared to AO3's comment system. The good news is that enforcement is extremely hit or miss, so it'll hopefully be alright.
I'll admit, when you said "X characters done, Y to go" in your update notes, I thought you were talking about different POV sections for the chapter. Having the actual character sheets is an interesting reference.
If that's actually the case, no big deal, I have everything backed up both on Google Docs and of course on AO3. I will, of course, scream bloody murder in a support ticket if something got removed for "non-story" reasons, though.
And uh. Of course. I build characters for fun in my free time. I'm proud of my work on the squad's, so I posted them - and I needed them to run the game.
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DaMastah101, 2/15/18
Wow, these character profiles are very detailed, holy mackerel!
Thanks for answering my reviews~! I'll continue readinfmg this story, it's really good my man. Btw, have you seen Satchely's Valentine art for the Dokis? Actually nevermind, I think I saw you in the r/DDLC thread for Monika's pic too lmao. #ThatPostureThough
That snippet was short! I want mooooooooreeeeee~
Oh yeah. They're all based to varying degrees on concepts I've had and not used - or, in a few cases, had and used or have seen used. Like there was an orog Warder (3rd party book, but a very good one, highly recommended) in a Pathfinder game I ran named Kruug, and he was so iconic I couldn't help but reuse the name. Lots of love put into those sheets.
I'm glad I can write something you - and just about everyone else - is enjoying. (And I hope I expanded on that snippet enough for ya.)
Though maybe not as much as the at-the-time fresh Satchely art…
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Sugarino, 2/15/18
Will the other Dokis appear? Monika has referenced them several times and seems to miss them.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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BananaMoe21, 2/15/18
wait so the main character's name is Jack?
I just realized that this is the best Fanfiction I have read. The words of this story becomes too realistic, it's like telling a real life story than a fiction. Almost all of the events happened are kinda related to my life (except relationships and characters suddenly in your apartment).
I also see this as a slice of life story.
Aye. I believe this was about back when I rewrote to make him a little less of a blank projectable slate and started to give him backstory of his own. It's the difference between most people's perception of MC and… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You figured out what I'm aiming for pretty well, though. This is isekai with as much emphasis on realism as I can manage while preserving a good story and keeping the premise. As I said before, I took heavy inspiration from a rewrite fic of GATE that did the same thing very well - and I was very sad to see Faust lose steam and wrap it all up in an epilogue chapter, because it was going beautifully. I like to think that I do - and I certainly aim to - write to stretch suspension of belief as little as possible.
I'm trying to balance slice of life with plot progression as much as I can. If there's no development of characters, just rapid-fire plot, there's no time to get attached to anyone and it stifles the writer heavily. If there's too much character interaction without plot, you get that one show about Boruto's Dad.
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DaMastah101, 2/16/18
I had to double-check the older chapters to make sure, but yeah. Player-kun is no longer "_"?! It seems you've given him a name now, which is Jack. Interesting...
Anyways, enough about that and onto this excellent chapter's contents:
Yay! It's D&D time and our girl Monika's pretty hyped up for this!
...or not. *cue Sayo-nara music* we actually get this creepy ass nightmare instead. Poor Monika, still tormented by her past. That was literally the most horrifying game of D&D to ever exist. e_e
As it is with horrible dreams like this, Monika wakes up with reasonable shock. At least the REAL Jack is there to comfort her. This self-loathing is painful to read though. Hang in there, Monika! And this is the definitive proof that she still cares about the other Dokis. But don't sell yourself short Monika, you're wonderful!
Jack. Really? That Luke Skywalker meme line? xDDDDDD
Jack is such a sweetheart though. Even calling in from work just so that he could stay and comfort our favorite emerald-eyed girl. I salute you, Jack.
New character, Leo the therapist! This is goid, Jack. Taking Monika to see Leo might help her with the emotional struggle she's going through.
What a rollercoaster ride of emotions this chapter was. I'm excited to read the next update.
That was DaMastah101's Review of the Day! Thanks for listening~
Aye, see above.
PLOT TWIST, IT'S A NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE. Isn't PTSD and survivor guilt amazing? Must say though, it pales in comparison to a run through the Tomb of Horrors. (Kappa… mostly.)
At this point in the story - and even now - she's definitely struggling mightily with it. It was definitely while writing the nightmare that I realized she was absolutely messed up badly enough that she needed therapy, period. So, enter, therapist, stage right.
And of course I dropped the Luke in. And likewise, of course he called off. Wouldn't you, if you could manage it? I know I would.
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Simply Guardian, 2/16/18
...Yknow what? AH NU CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE. That is all.
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A. Friend 2/16/18
I felt there was something missing from Monika's backstory in the last chapters... her nightmare in this chapter was appropriate, I felt. It gave more depth to her character and gave Jack a chance to see more than just a confused, emotional girl/perfect waifu, and a chance to help her through the trauma she'd experienced.
I love this story so far. Though I'm more of a Sayori kinda guy, it's good to see the softer, more vulnerable side of the "maniacal, heartless" club president.
Keep it coming. You could honestly get this into at least a paperback if you contacted a publisher.
Patiently awaiting Chapter #9.
Fun fact. If I remember correctly, this comment is what directly inspired Chapter 11.
I think all of us are Sayori guys to some extent, let's be real. But honestly, I never thought Monika was maniacal and heartless. I know full well what it's like to start pretending that you don't have a conscience to win. At my worst, about ten years ago or so, I was in a dark enough place that I'd do that every once in a while. Now, looking back, I don't recognize that person - or, worse, I kinda do, and realize that I knew all along how wrong it was. It's an awful experience.
Is that actually Monika canon? Maybe, maybe not, you'd have to ask Dan, but I suspect he'd leave that up to us. And to me, it absolutely is. I think she shows a lot of the signs of it.
As for putting this in a paperback? God, no. Dan would side-eye me, probably indirectly through a lawyer, for one, and second, it's really not that good. It's far more jokey in places, I think, than it'd need to be for that.
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Remiboi, 2/19/18
Wow, I felt really emotional while reading what Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki were thinking before Monika deleted them. Makes me wonder, how ever will she get rid of her PTSD with it being that bad? Also with the rest of the Dokis names appearing throughout the story really makes me think that they will appear in later in the story (or is that just me?)
Still, Monika is still best gal even though she did all of those things to the rest of the Dokis.
Can't wait till the next one!
It was hard for me to write, too, believe me.
You don't ever really get over PTSD - I can tell you that from experience. You just stop feeling the symptoms without a specific trigger, most of the time. Like I flinch away from people less now than I did ten years ago, but I still catch myself doing it sometimes with people I don't know. Monika will never be all better. That's just not how it works, as much as I wish I could wave a wand and cure her. But, as I think I'm showing as time goes on, she is slowly getting better.
Monika is not best girl in game. Not until she learns from what she's done and honestly repents for them. She needs to face what she's done and overcome it. It's just that I see that potential in her, you know?
As for the dokis appearing… ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
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DahMastah101, 2/19/18
Awww, Monika can't sleep properly. Poor girl. :/ Yeah, maybe some fresh air might help. I've also done the "staring out at the view, late at night" thing several times, so I can relate to Monika with that. Jack hugging her from behind before seating her on his lap was fluffy as heck. I love it.
[You wanna know what her last words in her mind were? 'I guess there's no getting out of this, huh? I loved you, Monika… I wish you'd trusted me. Just treat MC okay, alright? Goodbye….']
You son of a gun. That line I quoted above? Yeah that shit broke me into a crying mess you beautiful bastard. Oh my God. This chapter keeps stabbing me over and over in the heart, good grief! Brilliant execution of Monika's lingering regrets here, as in that entire segment where I took the quote from. At least she wasn't that opposed to the therapy plan.
Jack is such a thoughtful and caring man. And his loyalty to Monika is endearing.
Hmmm, food and sex talk. You know, it's currently 2:30AM CST as I read this. I'm still awake because I'm typing some stuff on my PC jsyk. Yet I'm smiling like a lunatic and my fiancee keeps glancing at me like I've lost my mind lol. Point is, Jack and Monika's interactions give me LIFE. They're so hungry for each other, and at the same time they're sweet to each other. It's freaking awesome.
Crepes are INDEED a wonderful thing.
[2Pac, Snoop, Jay-Z, Kanye, Common, Nas, Biggie, Kendrick, Andre, Rakim, he hit a lot of what I knew to be the high points. ]
FINALLY, I keep saying this in reviews on other DDLC fanfics I read, but finally. Someone who actually incorporates Monika's appreciation of Rap in their story! Woooooo! Monika Gon' Give It To Ya' bitches.
Billy Joel? I see you're a person of culture as well, Jack. While the Rap was cool, I can appreciate some oldies but goldies as well.
I wonder which gameshop they're at lol. Same dice as that crazy-ass nightmare though? Fuck lol, don't get those damn dice! These D&D preparations are a delight to read btw. So detailed and engaging.
Look, Jack and Monika. Let's put it tgis way. You're BOTH lucky to have each other. Jesus, any more of this fluffiness and I'm gonna get diabetes lol.
All in all, this update was EXCELLENT. Looking forward to the session with Dr. Leo and the next update!
I've done that too. More with storms than at night, though. Oh, but did I aim to please with the fluff.
As I said above, writing that shit broke me too.
...who says you haven't lost it?
Moni gon' give it to ya (WHAT!)
What's she gon' give to ya? Diabeetus.
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A. Friend, 2/20/18
Good on ya for totally reversing the negative feels of Chapter 8! Good to get back to the cuddling and nerdy-ness.
You're not the only one. I'ma say it again, I needed a break after that.
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eeveenthusist474, 2/26/18
This is honestly just a technicality and does not in any way affect the story but I am fairly certain that seafood has a similar energy intensity as meat. So it wouldn't make sense if Monika was vegetarian for environmental reasons. It would make sense if Monika was a vegetarian for ethical reasons since mammals have more complicated emotions than most animals used to make seafood.
Wild-caught fish does, because large commercial fishing boats are 50 shades of yikes. I'm fairly certain myself that farm-raised fish are not so much, especially with certain varieties of fish (carp come to mind, they'll eat just about anything and grow quickly, and can be used as feedstock for more desirable fish like salmon), and, plus, unlike ships, energy can be sourced sustainably for stationary farming. Ditto for chicken, actually - chicken farming is very sustainable compared to most other meat-raising, especially cattle, but that's a little bit confusing to elaborate on in-story, so eh. She explicitly states in the space classroom that she's not about the ethical reasons, though.
If I'm wrong about farming, I'll just chalk it up to a misconception on her part and move on.
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Anibi, 2/27/18
God, this story has been so endearing! I'm really glad to have gotten to give it a try; it's one of the best I've read, honest (and it starres Monika, which is a plus by itself!). Also, I hereby declare Tsuki a potential waifu so far!
About the chapter, I can only say that the last description you gave of Monika at the bathroom while she brushed her teeth will stay on my mind for a while. Also, Jack is a character I keep liking more and more too, especially with how his relation with Monika keeps deepening more and more... I can just hope that nothing goes wrong.
Well, I think that's all. You got me as a new follower and that means I'll be looking forward to future updates. Until then~
Oh. Oh boy, I've just had one of my OCs declared a waifu. That's. Oh boy. I'm waiting for the fanart.
Believe me, that description's stuck in my head too every time I reread it. I just hope that Jack is still likeable. He's not perfect, and he makes mistakes. He tries way too hard pretty much all the time; if this wasn't Monika, who's borderline obsessed with him, I suspect he would appear in a much different light.
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DaMastah101, 3/4/18
*DaMastah101 sees that JustMonikammmmmmmmmm has updated*
Says to himself, "Okay, I just got off from reading one of the most brain-wracking finales of a fanfic, courtesy of a certain finalsacre's story. Let's see what Jack and Monika are up to..."
*reads chapter*
[DaMastah101 . exe has stopped working]
That was one intricate and detailed written account of a D&D session, holy shit. What is up with the amazing quality of chapters that everybody seems to be putying out today... damn.
Anyways personal tangent aside, this was a great update. Definitely worth the wait.
And they have some steaming, raunchy and implied sex. I await the time you give in and write full-on smut lol. At this rate, you're gonna be tempted to...
Monika learning about the DDLC fandom is VERY, very amusing lmao. Yuri does get lewded the most due to her, *ahem* posture. The fuck though? Yuri breastfeeding Natsuki... the hell type of shit are you reading Jack?!
Sayorika~ Yep, some people do ship that, Monika. And I guess this confirms that "A little bit of Monika"-verse Monika is bi? She says there's a little attraction after. Guilt issues aside and all. Hmmmmm... Then again most DDLC fics make Monika "Player-sexual" anyway. So yeah, all good.
I love reading the fluffy flirting btw, Jack and Monika are a pair of lovesteuck shmucks and I love it.
All in all, great update, and I HIGHLY disagree with you saying in the A/N that your work is a "piece of trash". Never ever say that again. Your story is amazing. Take pride in that. From one author to another who's also experienced doubts in writing, take it from me. If you're able to appreciate the hard work and talent of others, you must learn to acknowledge your own stuff as well. That is all, I want go into full sermon mode. Sorry for that, it's just that I can't stand seeing the author of one of the stories I look forward reading to the most, call his writing a "piece of trash". I'd give you a bro-hug if I could.
Excited for the next update, is it gonna be Doctor Leo time? :P
Well, one could always crack open the task manager and kill the process…
Full smut will never be in this story. I don't think I could do it justice, for one, and for another, anything that'd get this beyond PG-13 besides all the swearing would end up in a separate story.
Yeah, it's tragic. Not that I don't love the lewds, but gimme some wholesome Yuri too, eh? And hey. He's not going out of his way to read it! He just knows it exists, and probably got dared to read it once. Like I did… (but then I turned around and had art made of it as a prank, so…?).
We know Monika is not straight. She explicitly says she doesn't care if the player is a boy or not. To me, that screams pan. And that's my canon and I'm sticking to it. Just because she's attracted to other people doesn't mean she acts on it, though, of course, like with… literally anybody else. Jack's attracted in varying degrees to all of the Dokis, and in another world he might have gone with Yuri or Sayori straight-up, for example, but he's all Monika's and vice versa. Lovestruck schmucks indeed.
...mmmmnope, still think it's trash. B^)
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TexFanatica, 3/5/18
As someone who's never played D&D (but really wants to), I honestly had no idea what was going on for most of that... It was super fun, though! Can't wait to see where this goes next! :3
Boi. Get yourself a Pathfinder core rulebook (1st edition, not 2nd, the general consensus is 2e was a step down) and go nuts. r/lfg should have a group you can join. The recommendation may be a year+ late, but go do it.
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Feng Lengshun, 3/5/18
Not that into tabletop, more into quests myself (for role-play, Exalted is my poison of choice). That was a fun one and I am familiar with your pain, as many QMs has complained about the dice being total tsunderes or total bullshit. One quest I remember happen to got so lucky with the five the QM just went with a double and triple-crit overflow (or whatever you call it) mechanics because with the bonuses they're racking up with all those previous crits, reaching 100s multiple times isn't going to be hard.
I like the fluff at the end. That is exactly what I came here for. And yeah, Yuri got a bit unlucky with her lewds. I tried searching on Pixiv "DokiDokiLiteratureClub! R-18" and "DDエロC" to disprove if and instead found that for each non-bulli Yuri lewds, there's gonna be a bulli variant of it. Though I think Sayori can match her through intensity of the bulli lewds. Natsuki got off surprisingly light.
You should just show her browsing r/DDLC, their related subreddit, the DDLCbooru or their Pixiv tags, and maybe with the Discord because that... is going to be fun.
Always wanted to play Exalted, tbh. Never did. D&D doesn't get that intense just because Exalted functions on a power level that might, might get kept up with by an incredibly high-optimized, epic-level full caster, barely, but shenanigans can and do happen. Tsundere dice are and will always be bullshit.
In intensity, Sayori can match, maybe, but certainly not in numbers, and they're certainly nowhere near as accepted. Yuri absolutely got the worst of it.
Hmm, I think I gave you what you wanted later, though!
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Natyumonori, 3/5/18
Finally! They actually brought up the subject of Monika's presence outside of the game!
I actually really hadn't considered the possibility of only one (or none) of the other dokis out of the game, but Jack's logic does make a ton of sense.
And thanks for turning me on to those other fanfics. Definitely will check those out.
Soz for skipping the D&D section, but thanks for the fluff. By this point in the story, I don't even care about the age-gap.
Keep it up.
As you've no doubt discovered, the consequences of being a VG character in a real world are going to be a major theme.
Nah, it's cool to skip it. I was anticipating some people would.
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DaMastah101, 3/5/18
I love this chapter so much.
We finally saw the origin story of Jack's Monika.
Lmao at the part where she was craving sex. Monika is quite the horndog, ahahahahaha...
But in all seriousness, this chapter was an eye opener. And I'm glad she really regrets what she did to the other Dokis. The snippets of Jack's life being told to her were great too. They really show how close Jack and Monika had gotten.
And finally, on that fateful December, Monika escaped the game. While you still haven't shown us what caused it to happen, it still made me happy. It's a reminder that Monika was finalky able to be with her beloved Jack.
10/10 Chapter, keep up the excellent work.
Thank A. Friend for this one!
"I merely have a healthy adolescent sex drive." - another best girl from another game.
No, actually, I don't think she's any more needy than anyone else - she's just been forcibly denied it as well as any kind of physical contact at all for her entire existence. I think anyone who has a sex drive (shoutout to my awesome ace followers out there, you're all valid!) would be feeling the same way.
I really did try to give them a true history together, allowances being made for the… unique nature of their situation.
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GallantBlade475, 3/5/18
It's a christmas miracle! :D
An Australian Christmas Miracle! /tf2
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Anibi, 4/5/18
That fluff at the end was much more...intense than what I had expected, just so y'know. However, I must say it also felt quite heartwarming at certain points and the philosophical approaches to the situation by Jack were interesting as well, if not outright foreshadowing...hopefully.
Additionally, I did enjoy reading through the D&D bit. I might not play tabletops myself, but I do take part of online forums were we play by following similar mechanics, so it never felt weird for me...though I must admit that I had to go back and give each character sheet a quick read to avoid losing track of who was who at certain points.
To cut you some slack, all of that resumes in: "You did a nice job with the chapter. Nothing felt out of place, and the fluff at the end was precious and pretty bold, in that order. Keep up with the good job, as always, dear author!"
Don't worry, that's about as intense as it's ever going to get. Discretion shots! As for foreshadowing… I am safely allowed to say now that you're goddamn right.
That's fair. I'm just glad it was followable at all.
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TexFanatica, 3/5/18
Man, this community needs that trashy sentimental stuff, especially us Sayori fans. Hell, that's partially why I wrote my own DDLC story. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that background music tactic when writing- really helps set the mood for whatever you're writing. Just try not to get too lost in the music, or you won't get anywhere (personal experience). Long story short, keep it up! :3
"Chancellor, trashy sentimental stuff is my specialty!"
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pdrocker1, 3/5/18
This was honestly so nice, it's not trashy at all! (And good choice for the music, IMO Lilly's route is the most written in KS)
Correct.
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dawicca, 3/5/18
so cute. everyone loves Monika fluff
You would be surprised, tbh.
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avidanApostle, 3/5/18
It was interesting to see Monika's point of view from inside the computer. On the other hand, I WAS PROMISED A THERAPY SESSION FOR MONIKA DAMMIT. I've been looking forward to that for THREE chapters now, and you just keep releasing non-therapy related shit. It's especially frustrating because I can't even get MAD about it since the chapters are so dang GOOD.
And you waited a few chapters more, eh? Was it worth the wait?
Still. This section had to be written, yknow?
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dajsk, 3/9/18
Really sweet chapter. Can't say that I'm not nervous though, "I wish I could spend NEXT CHRISTMAS by Jack's side." Does this mean she'll disappear after next Christmas?
AND
Gilgamesh King of Mongrels, 4/3/18
Oh my god that wish."I wish I could spend NEXT Christmas with Jack." don't tell me Monika will disappear after this Christmas. That will literally split my half into two and then shatter it to a million pieces
Oh goodness no, I'm not that cruel.
...am I? ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)
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BradPug 3/30/18
TOO MUCH D&D I'M GONNA EXPLODE WITH THE AMOUNT OF JIBBER JABBER IM READING. Other than too much d&d stuff its a cool fanfic compared to all the ones ive read so far
I promise you will always be able to skip it when it appears. But the original inspiration for the story was a conversation, I believe it was with Fog and the Flame's Redphienix(? I'm unsure), about the squad playing D&D. I couldn't be faithful to that and leave it out.
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ChitogeIsLaifu, 4/7/18
I don't know anything about D&D, but with your writing it made me interested to know more. Your story is great. I'm excited to read more. Keep it up!
The best way to learn more is to jump in head first! See my response to Tex earlier.
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avidanApostle, 5/1/18
Just thought you should know that you're one thing that inspired me to try to organize my own D&D campaign. So thanks for that. On the other hand, I have been waiting for gosh darn MONTHS for the therapy session, and I'm running low on patience. I know I can't rush you, because that produces shitty writing, but don't you forget about this story.
Ayyyyyylmao
It will not be forgotten until it is finished. Promise. Hell, I feel really bad when I take breaks from it.
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nanaimoyeah, 5/1/18
This is special. There are very few things on this site we can say that about, but this is definitely one of them.
You need to tell us what's been keeping you! Anyway, hurry back! We've been missing you!
All I can say is 3
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WarpandaII, 5/3/18
Dungeons and Dragons AND Monika?! This is amazing.
That's what was on my mind too when I first started reading this, about how many people played the game, and if she's here, what's in the game now? Is it unplayable because she isn't in it? Or is she in it, and she acts like she does in game normally? Confusion.
But alas, some good chapters! Well done.
I look forward to the next chapters! This one was really good. ;D
I think I'll answer this one in the next chapter more completely. But for now, I can tell you that if there was a major occurrence like it becoming totally unplayable, Jack and therefore you would have already known about it.
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A Bookworm, 5/24/18
I like this story, especially the DnD parts! You're only the second author who I've seen use this in their fics.
Please keep updating!
There needs to be more, I'll say that much. It's a great bonding activity if nothing else.
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Papa Cipher, 7/17/18
I bet you that I'm the only one who caught that "If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device" reference.
Probably not, but Achievement Unlocked: True Man of Culture.
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lel, 9/1/18
can ya do a lemon for these two?
Highly unlikely. I am not exactly what you might call a smut writer. It's not where my talent lies. There are plenty of other authors out there who could do it far more justice than I ever could. I think if I tried it it would easily be the worst writing I've ever done, and ALBoM!Monika deserves more than that. If somebody else who's actually good at that sort of thing wants to have a crack at a Jack x Monika lemon, be my guest, but it's almost certainly not going to be me, unfortunately.
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Wheatley9001, 10/24/18
No. B^)
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randomidiot1816, 12/20/18
WAIT RE:CODED I LOVE THAT MOD
HOLY SHIT
Yeah, it's a shame what happened to it. I wrote the script for the teaser trailer for it, and I also started writing the Monika route, but we kinda just fell apart, as I've said elsewhere. I think it had a lot of potential. Though in hindsight I think the Natsuki route and its writing was pretty cringe, no offense (it was mostly different because of a different approach to the fandom in general) - but I can't say too much because at least he finished writing it. ;_;
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MisterHalt, 12/21/18
I was just starting to worry about this story too. Good to hear it hasn't died out. Shame about that mod and your computer though.
Have faith, young padawan.
The computer situation ended up being sorted out thanks to a loan of about 400 bucks from a dear friend and a little more from family. Expensive, for a broke-ass college student, but it is what it is.
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MANGOM1LK, 12/22/18
Meanwhile I literally write 99% of my content on my phone lmao. I don't even use my computer for the stuff that's not on the app, I just open the site in the web browser.
I've got fat fingers - actually, more correctly, they're a little malformed, and I'm straight-up missing the ends of three digits - and on top of that it's only recently that I've gotten the privilege of owning a smartphone or tablet, so typing on mobile for me is highly imprecise. It'd be a nightmare for me.
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MisterHalt, AGAIN, 12/22/18
Well I really, really, really do like it! Monika's so freaking adorable, even when scared out of her mind.
And that mystery voice at the end... Hopefully we get another chapter soon to sort THAT cliffhanger out.
Can you tell I adore her?
Yeah, I wouldn't have left that one for too long.
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Guest, 12/24/18
Holy shit.
I love this fanfic so much. I love that Jack actually has to deal with realistic issues of having a freaking videogame character poping into real life. I also love that you actually take your time to make every character feel as a real part of the story, I have seen a lot of writers tend to make the ocs incredibly blank and forgettable, but everyone here is a necessary part of the party, and I'm here for it.
I was looking forward to the rest of the girls showing up! Not only because of the implications that that would have to do with Monika, but also because they'll really need to at least start to wonder that the actual heck is making them come into this reality, especially since Jack is no longer the only "real" human that know about them.
Sayori and Monika have surely a lot to sort out, but considering that in this world the game is exactly the same as it is in ours, can Monika really be blamed for everything that happened? The twist of the game was, after all, part of the game itself, so did she actually acted for did the script just make her believe so? The real ending, after all, was about the player deleting her, so I don't think that she ever had free will to beging with. Or maybe I'm overthinking a bit.
I would love to keep talking about how good this fanfic is, but alas, I'm not an english speaker and I'm probably going to embarass myself with my poor language skills. The quick update was one hell of a Christmas gift tho, happy holidays
As I said earlier here, I can't stand to stretch the suspension of disbelief too far. Keeping it grounded is a key goal of mine.
And I think I've said elsewhere that another thing I pride myself on is that my stories never take place in isolation. There's a whole world around besides them. Even in some of the other things I'm writing - there's that Ace Combat NG+ fic I'm writing, and, consider this an official announcement, there's a Mass Effect/Forgotten Realms crossover in the works too - where the protagonist either is or is close to the center of the universe for lack of a better way of putting it, I always seek to make the rest of the world around them a living construct in its own right. And so here, Jack has friends, they have friends of their own, his coworkers exist and have their own lives, even people he only sees on his way in and out of work (the security guard, I'm referring to) have a personality and way of speaking of their own. It creates a kind of world that I see as being vital to avoid a story falling flat.
As for the other girls… well, you're seeing some of that now.
...Is it exactly the same, though? :thinking:
For what it's worth, by the way, your English is better than many native speakers (in a prescriptivist sense anyway, this post brought to you by descriptivist gang). So don't feel anxious about that!
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sbg1218, 12/24/18
you are right, i didnt expect an update that fast. i was expecting it to be less than 6-7 months.
in all seriousness though, seeing your story at the top of the updates made me screech like a little girl. and damn you came back with a hell of a christmas present. though it wasnt at all how i expected sayori to be introduced but i'll take it.
AND along the same lines:
MisterHalt, 12/25/18
...Well I wasn't expecting the next chapter THIS quick. Not that I'm complaining of course.
And here I was thinking that the mystery person would be appearing back at Jack's house, potentially causing all sorts of problems as she tries to work out where she is. Instead she shows up right with the main cast at the perfect time to corroborate Jack and Monika's story.
AND the illustrious
iMegumeru, 1/11/19
Hey, glad to see you're back! I miss reading your piece of fluff-though I wasn't expecting that turn of events. Keep it up!
When my brain cooperates, I'm fast as fuck, boyyyy.
Unexpected is a good thing in my book. If ya didn't see it coming, I did something right. The game was rigged (by which I mean the plot twist was planned) from the start.
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ducduy, 2/17/19
This is just awesome! I love that it's so close to real life, like Jack actually has to do shits in real life like working, paying rents, buying stuff etc. And that Monika realizing what she did was wrong and trying to fix it it brilliant. And Sayori coming out from the laptop is a great idea, I love where this is going, hoping to see the next chapter soon. But no rush man. Keep up the good work!
Yeah, life marches on for Jack, dreams might be coming true but the IRS always has its due, yknow?
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True Hyper Sonic, 3/10-3/11/19
Monika has officially nerded out well. BEGONE, THOT! The table flip was probably my favorite part: she was 'very' into the game, and it showed! ;) Keep up the good work, and bring in more chapters!
Sayori is free, and the Docs are aware of how she and Monika entered the real world. I wonder where this is going to lead...
Heh. She's always been a giant nerd.
And uh… somewhere good? Hopefully? Maybe?
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iMegumeru, FABULOUS HE!, 6/3/19
Hey, glad to know you're still writing! Although just like the last chapter, the development is a little slow, I'm guessing this is the calm before the storm? w
Define slow, actually. I'm a little unsure what you mean by that, but I'd like to avoid it regardless.
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HiroNinja, 6/3/19
I darn near flipped my phone when Sayori showed up!
I only meant to find a decent fic to read a bit of before bed but I wound up binging all of this instead. Yikes I should sleep.
Thanks for the good read so far, I can't wait to see how Sayori settles in and I really hope for a happy family situation with the doki's.
Also I was racking my brain trying to remember where the "Two words: Diversified Portfolio" quote from the dnd chapter was from. It's gonna be bugging me all week if you don't tell me.
Welcome to fanfiction. Come in at like 9pm to read, go to sleep at 5AM. I've done it too many times.
I like to think that as of recently they're making quite a nice family, though, don't you?
I think I answered your question in a DM, though. Dead Alewives' Never Split the Party track.
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True Hyper Sonic, 6/26/19
Triumphant return, much? ;) I liked how you showed that Sayori was still struggling to understand the situation she's now in, and that Monika is dealing with 'SayoNara'-related trauma. Good thing there's already a mental health professional on hand, since the Dokis have all sorts of baggage.
Oh, Sayori is an enormous fish out of water. But since, depression aside, her actual personality is significantly more… not to go all Hippocratic, but classically sanguine, I guess? I think she's having an easier time of it than Monika's more choleric/melancholic outlook, for now. Still, thank fuck for medical professionals anyway.
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MisterHalt, 8/10/19
...Welp, I've got diabetes now.
It's going to be VERY interesting to see how somebody in a position of authority will react to the existence of Monika and Sayori, even with the irrefutable video evidence. Can't wait to see how that Charlie Foxtrot goes.
Also Jack was apparently late for work the first day after a promotion, but there seems to have been no problem there. Did he have a really good excuse ready to go that we just didn't see?
DIABEETUS.
We'll have to see, won't we?
Jack fortunately hasn't started his new position yet (right now he's mostly handling odds and ends in his bureau, his executive secretary spot starts next story-week), and his boss does know he's been having a bit of a struggle with an unnamed sickness in the family, and clearly liked him enough to recommend him for a kick upstairs, so I think as long as he's careful he'll be fine. I may address this to be sure anyway.
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JustMonika (hey, wait a minute…), 8/11/19
Lemme get this straight. You are a freaking genius for making probaply the most realistic and heartwarming take on the "Dokis get into our reality" I have ever read. The amount of detail in every chapter is insane. The reaction of the Dokis , especially Moni's , are heart breaking and beautiful at the same time. The interactions between everyone is totally relatable and to be honest , thank you for making the "Lovey Dovey" times between Moni and Jack not cringeworthy to read. Family can be anyone. Nothing more to say. Please keep up this work , this is something else and that's a good thing.
I love you.
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Th3Hybr1d, 8/11/19
I really like what I see so far, I hope you continue writing more masterpieces like this.
A suggestion, one that you don't have to regard whatsoever- if/when you choose to write more lemon-y chapters, could you write them in a separate story, to keep the rating on this still T?
Regardless, thanks for writing a wonderful story.
Don't worry too much, one is unlikely to come if ever, and if it does, it was going to be in a separate story anyway.
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Oof. Maybe I shouldn't go a year and a half between covering reviews. I'll pop over to the AO3 comments and reply to those as well. If you wanna see my responses to those, that's where you'll find them.