Chapter 5 Of road rage and car accidents

"The psycho bitch almost tore off my fucking legs!" Hidan was bedridden in a private ward of a Suna hospital, Akatsuki members scattered across the room in different states of ire. Deidara was the only one entertained by the whole situation, as he quietly sculpted his clay in a corner.

Itachi sighed, ending his phone call and tucked the device back into his blazer. "I told you not to provoke the Hyuuga heiress. She may not retaliate immediately but she always returns like for like."

"Yeah, well how the fuck could I know she'd bloody try to run me over?!"

"How do you know it was the Hyuuga? You're not exactly a popular guy." Deidara mused with a soft smile as he placed the finishing touches on his bird sculpture.

"Well I don't know, Barbie. Maybe cause she did the same thing we pulled on her fucking sister?!"

Deidara's eyes flashed with fury. "Don't try me, you fanatical religious prick."

A red head slid open the door, a binder in hand. "I agree with the brat for once. You're in no position to express affront." He threw the binder onto his body at which Hidan growled in pain at. He fisted the documents in anger, "What the fuck is this shit?"

"I tracked down your hit and run. The managing company disclosed the client quite willingly, it was almost as if they were told to give up confidentiality."

"Well? Who was the fucker?" he roared impatiently.

"A well-off lady by the name, Karma. She left a message, said 'an overdue present from my little sister'."

Hidan tore the binder and flung it to the floor, bellowing in rage, "I'm going to fucking murder that fucking whore!"

"You will do no such thing!" Konan raised her voice from the back of the room. Everyone quietened. "You've jeopardised enough of our operations, Hidan. I will not tolerate your childish conduct any longer. The Akatsuki brought you in, we can remove you just as easily."

"Don't play boss bitch. You don't control shit." A sharp knife embedded into his thigh a split second later, causing him to groan loudly.

She gave him a good-humoured smile. "I beg to differ."

"Sasuke! Yoohoo! Sasuke!" Ino's high pitched screech echoed down the empty hallway as her shiny pair of Balenciaga heels clicked against the floor. "Sasuke! Naruto! Where are you?!"

"Ino, maybe he and dickless have already left?" An unwilling Sai trailed behind the girl who blazed fire in each step like a woman on a mission.

"No Sai! Those two always stay behind after school. They have soccer training in-" she glances at her watch, "-20 minutes." She flips her high pony tail across her shoulder, still marching forward, slamming open doors just to find them empty.

"Right, and why would they still be in class if training was starting soon?"

She drops a fist into her palm. "So true." Her hand wrapped around his wrist as she tugged him behind her like a ragdoll. "To the change rooms!"

The two of them burst into a bunch of pubescent teens in the middle of stripping. They squealed like pigs. Ino, with the shame capacity of a fish, unabashedly plunges into the throng of naked boys. Sai grimaces before rushing in after her, throwing apologetic glances to his acquaintances.

As she battles her way through the sea of bodies, the boys begin to gain their wits and scream at her to leave. "Boys! Honestly! There's nothing new to be seen!" She throws a glance back just to check if Sai was still following. She grins, "Right Sai?"

He mumbles something incoherent and wonders to himself how he got into this situation in the first place. The girl in front of him powers through, reaching the back where Sasuke and Naruto were just about to hit the field. "Sasuke!"

Said Uchiha swears beneath his breath. Pretending he couldn't hear, he flung himself out the door only to have the sunlight bearing down on him. Recovering from a sharp headache the first thing his eyes catch on is a girl bent over her knees, stretching on the field. She raises a lovely bare arm over her head, pulling her toned legs into a split. Sasuke being a perfectly functional, hot blooded male took a long second to realise he had been inappropriately appreciating the girl in front and averted his glance. He shuts his eyes half to avoid looking and half in an attempt to calm his elevated heart rate. The next time his eyes open, the girl has turned around, a hand propped against her hip, staring at him with a knowing smirk playing on her lips.

He rushed back into the changing rooms just as quickly as he had exited. Ino's expression lit up with delight. "Sasuke! You're back again!"

Sasuke however, was too in a daze to realise he had just subjected himself to at least half an hour of Ino's infamous motor mouth ranting. No, he was currently way too preoccupied reassessing his life choices. For he, Uchiha Sasuke had just checked out Hyuuga Hinata. Fucking. Hyuuga. Ice Queen. Hinata. Lord have mercy.

"Sasuke? Are you ok? You look a little pale. Maybe you should sit out this practice? There's a lot we need to catch up on anyway."

"Didn't you see each other two days ago?"

Ino shoots Naruto an unimpressed look in which he hold his hand up in surrender to. "That's 48 hours of my life that he doesn't know about. Is that not worthy of being caught up on?" She directs this question at Sai, who just nods listlessly, eyes focused anywhere but the multitude of murderous gazes following him. It was as if he had full responsibility over the actions of the vivacious blonde.

Sasuke realises his legs can no longer support him and slides down onto a bench, his hands threading through his raven locks like a drowning man. All he had ever known started crumbling down before him the moment he acknowledged Hinata as female. She had always been an otherworldly thing that gender did not apply to. There was nothing special about her from the straight black hair down to her five toed feet. But on the field he had noticed the dark hair that shimmered blue in the sunlight as it cascaded down her slender neck. And when she turned around, his mind registered the large doe eyes that stole the shade of literal pearls. This led to the current question that was rampaging through his mind. What the actual fuck was he going to do?

He had stared at the Hyuuga. He had been caught staring at the Hyuuga by said Hyuuga. He groans to himself, berating his hormones for acting up. He had handed her the only leverage he had. The Ice Queen being the dirty old hag that she is, was going to exploit this weakness. He needed some damage control.

Kiba emerged from the showers and gives Ino the once over before wolf whistling. "My, do you look delectable today, Yamanaka." He gives her a lecherous wink before going back to rubbing his hair down with a towel.

Ino gives him a thin smile, "Har har, dog boy." Rolling her eyes she nudges Sai's side. "Men, they all think with their dicks."

Sasuke blanches at this.

Naruto throws him an odd look before giving him a hearty smack to the back. "Come on, we need to get onto the field. Anko's going to chew us out for being late." As if on cue, a booming voice blasts from out on the field. "What are you little sissies doing in there?! Fixing an eyelash?! Hurry it up before I kick your arses six ways from Sunday."

The guys all shudder involuntarily and hurry to pull on a shirt and vacate the changing rooms. Sasuke heaves a deep breath, before following them out. The Hyuuga hag is there, standing beside Anko and charming the rest of his team with fake smiles and polite nods. She looks up to meet his eyes mockingly. He clenched his teeth, returning the look steadily. If he had been caught, he might as well own up to it. He raises an eyebrow and drops his eyes down to her legs purposefully before running his gaze back up to meet her shocked eyes again. A victorious smile tugs on his lips as her eyes narrow dangerously.

"What is Hinata-chan doing here?" Naruto questions from beside him. He gives the girl an excited wave in which she acknowledges with a soft smile.

"Why, she's joining the team of course. Why else would she be here you dunce! Get with the program Namikaze!" she bellows this with the speaker and the whole field's occupants turn to stare at the blond. He shuffled under their curious gazes embarrassed. "Sorry Coach!"

"Don't be sorry! Be running! Get to it boy! Twenty laps! Go go go! You too pretty boy!"

The Uchiha supresses a groan at his assigned nickname and hit the ground running before Anko can make any more unreasonable demands.

He found Hinata matching his speed, sprinting beside him with an unreadable expression. He ignores her and continues on with his laps. At the fifth lap, the witch finally speaks up. "Why were you checking me out, Uchiha?"

He stops short almost stumbling over his own feet. "What?" he splutters.

Hinata presses her lips together. "You made it quite obvious with the way you looked me up and down." She too stops running, stating this dryly.

Everything suddenly clicks in place and Sasuke almost cries in frustration. He had screwed himself over with a self-fulfilled prophecy. Fucking Macbeth. He just knew Hyuuga Hinata was a witch.

A/N Coach Anko is a blast. Should've named this chapter Sasuke's sexual awakening.

Guest 1 The pairing is Sasuhina, I thought I made it obvious, whoops! The story is meant to be tagged under romance and drama (I will change it), the humour is just my style of writing. Hope this clears up a few things!

Guest 2 Thanks for the review, this update's just for you. ;) (p.s sorry Itachi didn't get much of a feature this chap)

Splaaash-attack Welcome back! I always look forward to your reviews. Hidan's character just flows for me, probably because we both swear quite a bit.

dzii-00 Thank you! I hope this chapter came soon enough for you.

I'll see everyone next time!