VI: Sun's Out, Tits Out

The grass tickled at Shan Pu's skin as it swayed in the wind. She waited beneath her beachgrass ghillie; the bluff gave her a perfect observation arc over the waterfront. Her quarry would be hemmed in by the concrete jetty to the south and the embankments rimming the beach.

The morning's sirocco had tapered off. They'd be here soon. Then she'd strike. Saotome Genma would pay for all that he'd put the Amazon through.

At last, he arrived. The portly man ambled onto the beach, hefting a large plastic cooler. A parasol was tucked in the crook of his arm. Shan Pu took a deep breath as she flicked the safety off on her Norinco.

One shot, one kill, she chanted to herself. When he was a mere ten meters of away, Genma dropped the heavy chest at his feet. Squinting, his gaze turned towards Shan Pu.

His eyes widened as she popped to her knees, leveling her QBZ-03 at the target. His screech turned into a low 'growf' as the stream of high-pressure water soaked through his gi. Before the rest of the Tendo and Saotome family could react, Shan Pu raked the stream of water across their swimsuit clad bodies.

"Aiyah! Victory to Shan Pu!" she cried, pumping the now drained replica into the air.

Ranma sputtered water out of her mouth. "Ah man, you soaked through this cute shirt. I can't wear it 'til it dries now."

Her panda of a father turned to her, cocking his thick brows. Soun's mustache jittered.

"I mean, you soaked my totally functional and not at all cute shirt."

Unlike Ranma, who'd been wearing a t-shirt and shorts over her blue and green one-piece, Akane had not changed out of her street clothes. The veins popped on the tomboy's forehead as an aura of grey grumpiness filled the air. "Shampoo!" she cried, "now I'm soaked!"

"Yeah. We at beach. It's gonna happen," said Shampoo, rolling her eyes. "Ahem…chicken's done."

"What—oh." The wet t-shirt was not leaving much to imagination, even after Akane crossed her arms over her chest.

Nabiki had already taken off her over-sized tee, dabbing the extra moisture off her skin. "Sorry sis, looks like you're going to have to put on the swimsuit now." The mercenary girl's side-tie bikini was giving Shan Pu new ideas for mischief.

Akane flushed red with embarrassment. "I…I can't."

Kasumi finished ringing the water out of her pony tail. "Oh, so much energy," she hummed, "You kids go have fun, we'll set up here.

Shan Pu sighed as she sloughed off the ghillie. Out of pure habit, she cleared the Norinco, removing the (fake) magazine and cycled the (purely cosmetic) action before returning it to safety. "Come, Shan Pu know good place get changed."

"But—"

"Shan Pu sorry if she ruin your day. But not want you give up yet."

Before Akane could object, Nabiki shoved a handbag into her arms, and gave her a swat on the back. "Go on, Sis. Your mope is going to be a major buzzkill."

Akane took a few stumbling steps towards Shan Pu. She glared at the soldier girl and tromped onwards. She still (reluctantly) took Shan Pu's hand as she helped Akane up the bluff. The tomboy blushed as she was she pulled into Shan Pu's arms, their faces centimeters apart. A smile curled on Akane's lips before disappearing as quickly as it came. "I'm still mad at you, you know."

"Shan Pu know." The Amazon leaned closer to whisper, "don't you want Ranma see how beautiful you are?"

The faint blush on Akane's cheeks spread over the rest of her face. "She's—she's already seen me."

"Yeah, and doesn't that just make tomboy want Ranma to see more?"

"Sh-shut up," muttered Akane.

"Yes, now we go get changed to swimsuits," said Shan Pu all too loudly. "Absolutely no peaking."

Ranma was busy helping Kasumi set up the parasols and beach blankets.

"Ahem, I said, 'Absolutely no peeking.' Especially by Ranma."

Ranma wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Oh, Shampoo, did you say something?"

Akane found it amusing enough to forget about being mortified. Shampoo growled and took her by the hand, leading her down the sandy path. "Sometimes forget airen still stupid boy sometimes."

Akane let out a heavy sigh. "Me too."

After cresting the hill, the two came upon a small rest area complete with showers. Shan Pu led Akane over to her olive green UJM-style motorbike. She began rifling through the saddlebags for her swimsuit.

"What happened to the bike?" asked Akane.

"Shan Pu have no desire to have connection with anything that does not go fast; Shan Pu intends to go in harm's way." She grinned to let the girl know she was only half-serious. "Besides, have you tried bicycle around Tokyo? It take forever."

Akane nodded. "Why are you teasing Ranma like that?" she blurted.

Shan Pu blinked. "You serious? I want him to peek."

Akane took a half-step back. "Lewd!"

Shan Pu unzipped her digital camo jacket, leaving it draped over the seat of the motorcycle. When her sports bra followed it, Akane began to protest.

"You're getting changed? Here?"

Shan Pu took a quick look around. "Yeah. Is private here."

"But we're out in the open."

"Violent-girl can get changed in the showers if she want. But it just waste of time. No one is going to come look. And even if they do, it's not like you have anything to be ashamed of."

"Sh-shut up," said Akane, blushing. "Why are you so brazen all the time with her…him."

Shan Pu slipped on her pink floral bikini top before stepping out of her trousers. She paused for a pensive moment. She thumbed through her dog tags, eyes flitting between the silvery metal and Akane. "This may sound crazy…but Shan Pu has been seeing glimpses of other worlds in her dreams."

"You too?"

Shan Put felt the weight lift from her chest. "Glad I'm not alone. Akane and Ranma always in the dreams. Different each time, but one thing always stays same. Ranma always prefer you."

"They're just strange dreams, Shampoo."

Maybe. "Either way, is not time for moping. Is time for sun and surf!" Akane let out a little eep when Shan Pu turned to her, grinning with mischief. "Come on, time to strip!"

The surf was calling to Ranma. Board tucked under her arm, she charged out to the waterfront. The cold water stabbed at her as she darted across the slick sand, into the tidewater. When the water was up to her knees, she dove onto her board, and paddled through the salty spray.

She could feel the swell coming, like electricity dancing across her skin. There was a big one coming and she wasn't about to miss it. She coasted to a stop and slipped off her board into the deep blue water. The shock of the cold passed soon. She floated above a tranquil abyss, looking back at the little specks on the shore.

"Hey Ranma!"

Her focus broke. She was no longer one with the sea. It took her a moment to recognize the boy trying to get her attention. "Oh hey…Daisuke, right?"

The boy shook his head. "No, it's Hiroshi. I don't know why people can't keep us straight. I've got light brown hair."

"It's not light brown when it's wet."

Hiroshi paddled up closer, steadying himself on her shoulder. "Oh…I guess you have a point. Ya surfing?"

"No, I'm practicing the Shark Fist," she deadpanned. "I have to wrestle a Great White and take his teeth to prove I've mastered it."

"Really?"

She smacked him playfully. "No you idiot, I'm surfing."

Hiroshi rubbed the small lump forming on his head. "So, you come here often?"

"First time. Waves are pretty small right now but I can feel a gnarly one coming."

"Awesome. You know, I'm actually a pretty rad surfer myself. I once rode a three-meter monster all the way to shore."

The gears in her head clicked. Hiroshi had wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a pretty sly way. Now he was bragging. The dude was flirting with her even though he knew she was born male. Far out. She decided to brush it off in her usual way. "That's pretty cool. You know what's cooler? Surfing in a tropical storm."

"Yer pullin' my leg."

"Nope. Pop and I barnstormed this surf ninja dojo in Hawai'i on our travels. To advance the Anything Goes art, we had to take their sign, and so they challenged us to a Martial Arts Surfing contest."

"Holy cow, that's amazing. Tell me mo—"

"—Ssh!" she barked. She felt the hum of the approaching wave. "It's time." She mounted her board swiftly, nudging the bow to the shore. Hiroshi pulled himself up onto his board soon after. At the very least, he hadn't been outright lying about his surfing experience.

She started paddling forward. Looking back, she saw the wave beginning to swell. Hiroshi followed, behind and to her left. She jumped atop the board as the swell reached her, riding the slope of the mountain of water.

"Gah, it's too big!" cried Hiroshi.

"Just relax, Hiro and take it bit by bit." She whooped with joy as the surging wave started to crest, rolling into a tube. She steered into the sweet spot, just ahead of the rolling wave, inching into the tube.

The wave swallowed up Hiroshi first. The water began to engulf her next. Heart pounding, blood surging, she let out a final cry before sucking in a deep breath. The wave crashed over her, knocking her from the board. She shut her eyes as the roiling surf spun her about. When her lungs start to burn, she felt the wet sand beneath her. The water receded, leaving her washed up on the beach. She stood on unsteady legs, spitting out a mouthful of seaweed and saltwater. "Woohoo," she said gently this time. Tough as she was, she was still a little banged up by Davy Jones' spin cycle.

She trudged over to where Hiroshi lay flopping like a fish. "You're good kid, real good," she said, taking his hand. "But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best."

The other surfers began hooting and wolf-whistling. She beamed, drinking in the attention as she helped Hiroshi to his feet. His legs began to shake, so she slung his arm over her shoulder to steady him.

After getting him and their boards out of the tidewater, she deposited the still dazed Hiroshi under Daisuke's parasol.

"Oh hey Saotome," said Daisuke. "Nice swimsuit. Sexy, but not too sexy."

Ranma chuckled. "Oh, so you're going the direct approach instead of bragging yourself up and getting all feely like Hiroshi here."

"Hey, can't blame a guy for trying. Though if you would prefer the other approach, I've got some suntan lotion. I'd be more than happy to help you with those hard to reach places."

Ranma grinned with mischief. "Okay then." She slipped out of the back of her one-piece, cupping the lose fabric in front of her chest.

The bright red flush rose up Daisuke's body like a thermometer. "Gah…"

"Just like I thought; you're like a dog chasing a car. You wouldn't know what to do with her if you actually caught her. Oh well, I changed my mind." She slipped the one-piece back over her head.

As she began walking back towards the Tendo-Saotome picnic, Daisuke cried, "You were just foolin' right? You weren't actually gonna?"

She blew him the raspberry. "I guess you'll never know now."

After a few paces, the smile ran from her face. She wasn't sure what had come over her. Once she'd taken a step back from the moment, it surprised her how okay she was with boys coming onto her. She told herself it was just some teasing, but she didn't know if she actually would have put her money where her mouth was. Before coming to Nerima, the answer would have been a stern 'no.'

But this troubling line of thought was derailed when she caught sight of Akane in her banana-yellow one piece. She stopped short, mesmerized, watching Akane get lost in building a sand-castle with Shampoo. The sun glinted off the thin-sheen of sweat, highlighting the muscle definition in her biceps and thighs.

When she absent-mindedly dropped her surfboard, Akane's gaze turned to her. Their eyes met with a mutual blush. Then Ranma found herself being brought sharply back to reality by a flying tackle from Shampoo.

A whirl of stars filled the blue sky. Shampoo stayed glomped on top of her, nuzzling at her cheek. "Aiyah, Ranma come play with Shampoo?"

"Did anyone catch the number of that bus…" Ranma groaned. She shook her head, and the whirling sensation receded.

Akane came stomping over. She grabbed Shampoo by the shoulder and began to pry her off. "Hey, get off of her."

"Ooh violent-girl hardly contain herself. Be gentle with Shampoo," the Amazon teased.

Akane let her guard down an inch. "Not like that, idiot!"

Ranma started pulling herself up, only to be smashed flat again by the tangle of Akane and Shampoo tumbling down on her. Heads must have knocked together, because the world began to spin yet again.

When the disorientation passed, Ranma opened her eyes to find Akane propped up on her elbows atop Ranma, rubbing her forehead. "Hey, you okay?" said Ranma.

"Yeah, just a minor bump."

Akane's rose pink lips were just inches away. The tomboy's body pressed down her pleasantly. Her hand had found the small of Akane's back by instinct. Lost in the moment, Akane smiled down at her.

"Would you two get a room already," said Nabiki. The magic of the moment had been dispelled.

Akane quickly rolled off her. "It was an accident!"

"Yes…an 'accident,'" said Shampoo, holding up air quotes.

Ranma remembered the gulf between Akane and her as she sat up. A little voice in her head cried Fake! She sighed, looking at her dainty feet and the delicate hands she used to pull her knees to her chest. It all had a fleeting, mirage-like quality to it. At any time she was one cup of tea away from being revealed as a fake girl.

She knew Akane hadn't meant to, but it felt like the tomboy had stuck a knife in her. And when Akane look back at her, embarrassed from the scene they'd made, Ranma realized she'd learned Pop's lesson of not showing weakness to the enemy so well, she'd remembered it in her bones.

So well, in fact, she was up and spouting half-lies about going to get everyone some treats as she marched off. Off to lick her wounds before anyone knew what was up, like a proper coward.

What a great way to start the day at the beach her inner voice mocked. You went ahead and got all attached to something you can't have again. Way to go, Saotome. She found her sandals and trudged off to the boardwalk.

The sights and smells proved to be a decent enough distraction from the uncomfortable thoughts. The only problem now was choosing. That's always the problem. Ice cream or cotton art or Ryouga. Okonomiyaki or Ucchan…there was a name she hadn't remembered in a long time.

She looked longingly at the okonomiyaki stand in front of her. She remembered Ucchan, her best friend in the whole wide world, chasing after the yatai on his little legs. She let out a heavy sigh. "Guess I better live with that choice."

She sat down in the one open seat, between a drunk salaryman and a tall boy in a black gakuran. She ordered a deluxe, letting the thought of food nudge out the worries in her chest. The boy next to her craned his head.

"Look, I'm not interested, okay," said Ranma.

"Not on the market, sugar," said the boy. "It's just that you look strangely familiar, like an old friend from childhood."

"Well that can't be the case." Just in case, though, she swiveled to him. The boy was tall and handsome, with long brown-hair tied back in a ponytail. She extended a hand in greeting, "Saotome."

The boy shook her hand firmly. "Kuonji."

Kuonji was more than a little familiar. Probably because he looked like every bishounen romantic lead. "Aren't you a little overdressed, Kuonji-san?"

Kuonji shrugged. "I just like the look."

"So you're from Kansai then? What brings you to Tokyo?"

"Looking to expand the family business." He tucked into his okonomiyaki, chewing thoughtfully. "Family's in the okonomiyaki business, so I thought I'd scope out the local competition."

"Neat."

"Also looking to get revenge on a certain man," said Kuonji, his words like steel.

She laughed. "Oh wow, you really are checking off all the boxes on the brooding check list. Spill it, you're really an actor trying to get in character right?"

"It's not a joke!"

"Oh really? What's next then? Your family have its own school of martial arts?"

"Well, yeah?"

"You and everyone else, bub."

"You are an awfully mouthy little brat, aren't you? I oughta teach you a lesson."

"Oh? You and what army?"

The shopkeeper set a plate in front of Ranma, then pointed to the rules sign:

Rule 1: No martial arts challenges on the premises.
Rule 2: No discounts to flirty young women.
Rule 3: No martial arts challenges on the premises.
Rule 4: Anyone complaining that it's better in Osaka will be asked to leave.
Rule 5: No martial arts challenges on the premises.
Rule 6: There is no rule 6.
Rule 7: No martial arts challenges on the premises.

Ranma blinked. "I feel attacked."

Kuonji hissed, "That's my line."

"Well, why don't you come around to Furinkan High this time next week and see if you can put your money where your mouth is."

"Sounds great! I can't wait."

Akane was just about ready to set out looking for Ranma when the redhead came stomping back. Ranma was muttering something about "—call me 'mouthy little brat', I'll show him."

Akane felt the relief wash over her. "Where've you been?"

Ranma pulled a drink from the cooler and plopped down next to Akane. "Oh, just looking around. Managed to get myself another martial arts challenge."

Nabiki looked over the edge of her magazine. "My my, Ranma-kun, you're collecting lovers at an alarming rate."

Ranma spat out her juice. "Lover ain't got nothing to do with it. He insulted me, we're going to settle this like men."

"Knowing you," Akane sighed, "you probably stuck your foot in your mouth first."

"Hey!"

Nabiki chuckled. "Oh Ranma, while you were off strutting like a peacock, Shampoo here was touching Akane in places she'd never been touched before."

Akane was too mortified to interject immediately. Shampoo seemed to revel in the drama. And while Ranma was initially confused, once she put two and two together she turned red as a beet.

"Perv," growled Akane.

"Shampoo not want tongzhi to sunburn," said Shampoo, hiding behind a smile of false innocence. "Do you next?"

"I dunno if I'm ready for that kind of—oh, you meant the sunscreen," said Ranma, sheepishly poking her fingers together.

"Like I said, perv," Akane huffed.

"Come, lay down. This will cool off Ranma's temper," said Shampoo, already reaching for the sunscreen.

"Fine!" cried Ranma. "It's only cuz I don't wanna get burned. Nothing more."

Akane's face screwed up, but she decided not to pour anymore gasoline on the fire right now. Fine, let that hussy rub you up and down all you want. See if I care.

Ranma pulled her head out of the collar of her one-piece, taking no care to preserve her modesty. After flashing the whole beach, she flopped onto her belly on the beach towel. Shampoo looked pointedly at Akane, wiggling her eyebrows. Akane crossed her arms with a huff as she looked away.

Akane suddenly felt very silly. What reason do I have to be territorial over Ranma? I mean, she needs…he needs someone who can love him as a man. She watched out of the corner of her eye in spite of herself. Ranma visibly relaxed as Shampoo rubbed the sunscreen into her skin. It was making it suddenly very hard to believe that Ranma needed someone else.

Kasumi called them over to lunch. Ranma disappeared in a cloud of sand, leaving Shampoo blinking.

"Ranma certainly loves her food," Akane tutted. When Shampoo remained transfixed, she pulled the confused Amazon to her feet.

Shampoo growled. "Was too too close! One more minute and Shampoo would have told her."

Akane's eyebrow twitched. "You were gonna do what?"

"Shampoo give you every opportunity to spit it out. But if you not going to, then you snooze you lose."

"But it's so soon…are you sure…I mean it's not like I'm jealous over him," Akane said, panic rising in her chest.

"Oh? Maybe you jealous over me then?"

Akane huffed and turned away. "That's utterly ridiculous," she said, straining.

"Shampoo think you getting a little hangry." The Amazon pinched Akane's cheek and dragged her over to Kasumi's little picnic. "Come on, let's get the beast fed."

As Akane tucked into one of the hand-made bentos, she had to admit that Shampoo was right. Not about the jealousy part, oh no siree. But she definitely got angry when she was hungry. Shampoo had brought plenty of healthy snacks and drinks to go along with their picnic. Quite fortunate, considering Ranma was particularly ravenous today.

While she munched on a fruit and nut bar, her father and Uncle Genma cracked open their third beer. Soun took a deep gulp, forgetting the beer koozie this time. "Ah Saotome, doesn't this bring you back?"

Genma hiccupped. "Indeed my old friend. When we were young men, and I had such beautiful, lustrous brown hair, the envy of man and woman alike."

"I find that hard to believe," scoffed Ranma.

"Oy, show some respect, boy. Where do you think you got your hair from? Indeed, where it not for my hair, Tendo here would have never met his beautiful wife." His expression turned solemn.

Soun wiped a tear from his eye. "My dear Kimiko…it's true though." Her father's mustache twitched as he chuckled. "Saotome and I were at a beach not unlike this one, competing at the finals of the Tokyo Martial Arts Beach Volleyball championship."

Akane crushed her empty coffee can. "You never told us this story, daddy."

Soun glanced over at Genma. The two distinguished men blushed as they shared a knowing look. "Well…there are parts of it that a father can't share with his children."

Akane was going to try very hard to pretend she didn't hear or see that. Nabiki cackled something about the price of her silence, and Ranma seemed completely oblivious.

Kuonji fumed as he schlepped his luggage up the narrow staircase. The apartment had been too good to be true. Spacious, well furnished with a full kitchen, all for a very reasonable price. He'd snapped it up after tamping down his well-founded doubts.

The ad had neglected to mention the building was on the verge of condemned, the neighborhood was a demilitarized zone. And to top it off, not only was it on the sixth floor and the elevator was broken, it was perched right atop what he was sure was an illegal night club that filled the bottom five floors.

This was the price he would have to pay for revenge it seemed. He dropped his rucksack in the middle of the apartment. Booming bass speakers rumbled through his feet. It wasn't even six yet. Letting out a groan, he tossed his keys on the counter top.

He decided to stoke the fires of the revenge burning within him to help shut out the misery. He opened a plain manila folder and thumbed through the documents once again. The first was a school registration for a Saotome Ranma, about the right age. It had cost all too much to get. This must be the right Saotome Ranma, he thought, trying to forget all the red herrings he'd tracked down to no avail.

No mother was listed, but the father was listed as Genma. The mailing address was in the Furinkan ward.

At last, Kuonji Ukyo would get revenge for his stolen youth. After he dealt with that pint-sized upstart from earlier. It felt like fate mocking him. Saotomes were a dime a dozen and he'd managed to start a scrap with yet another one so close to the finish line. The gakuran's collar rubbed awkwardly at his neck. Alone now, he could remember what he'd forced himself to set forget every day.

He sloughed off the jacket and white undershirt, exposing the sarashi wrapped tightly around his chest. As he unwrapped the cloth, Ukyo remembered her long neglected femininity. Yet another thing Saotome Genma had stolen from her.

Here in Tokyo, she was free of her father's scornful gaze, and could momentarily forget the shame she'd brought on the family. She enjoyed her time as a boy. She'd enjoy it more once she proved she was a better man than either Ranma or Genma. They would pay soon enough.

Her stomach growled. But first, dinner. Then vengeance.

Notes: At last! The long delayed actual beach episode! And a completely gratuitous homage to Monty Python's "Bruces" sketch. I've elected to introduce the main cast sooner rather than later, so we're going to have a properly Rumic pile up. Not much else to say except let me know what you think in the reviews/comments.