Fanboy

Spoilers through Season 2. You have been warned!

Note: In this particular story, Gabriel does not know that Adrien is Chat Noir. This may or may not conflict with canon.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was supremely frustrating when he, Gabriel Agreste, managed to keep being defeated by a couple of teenagers. Of course, said teenagers were in possession of the two most powerful Miraculouses, but still... it was a poor excuse. He had miscalculated time and time again and needed to begin changing tactics. What he had assumed to be a short battle was slowly dragging into a long war. A war he didn't anticipate in fighting. He needed those Miraculouses.

He needed to study his enemies.

Thankfully, the entire city was determined to thrust their resident heroes into the spotlight more often than respect their very obvious reason for maintaining a secret identity. Between teen bloggers and eager news anchors desperate for scoops, there was plenty of footage of Ladybug and Chat Noir in action.

Gabriel had every video that surfaced on the internet downloaded onto his hard drive. He saved every picture, every interview, and every article that theorized, hypothesized, and calculated different areas of the heroes' lives. From their identities, to their friends, to their personal connections, to their love interests, Gabriel meticulously organized and documented everything. He even analyzed all of the footage collected from when the heroes were in his own home.

He needed to find a weakness. Something he could use to defeat them.

His eyes slowly began to lose their sharp focus. He blinked and shook his head to clear his muddled thoughts. He needed a bit of caffeine to wake him up.

"Nathalie?" he called out as he tapped a button on his intercom. Silence. "Nathalie?" he tried again. Still nothing.

Frowning, he stood up from his desk and stalked over to the door. "Nathalie," he began, ready to berate her for abandoning her job. He blinked when his eyes rested upon her empty desk and darkened monitor. A quick glance at his watch told him she had been gone from the manor for over two hours. Two hours that he hadn't noticed his assistant missing.

Ugh, he really needed that caffeine.

With a sigh, he headed to the kitchens, where he spent an embarrassingly long amount of time preparing his coffee. It wasn't that he didn't know how (he wasn't that incompetent), it was the simple fact that he couldn't find the coffee itself. After opening and closing nearly every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen, he finally found it nestled in a cabinet next to the coffee maker. Which should have really been the first place he checked.

Coffee. Now.

As the drink brewed and hissed, he spent the remainder of his time attempting to track down a decent sized mug instead of those dainty teacups resting on the small shelves beside the coffeepot. Just as he was debating giving up and pouring it all into a bowl and drinking it that way, he found the cabinet with the mugs and grabbed one. He paused, reconsidered, and opened the door to grab another.

He declined the sugar or milk, opting to take his drink black and strong because he wanted it that way. Not because he couldn't find either the milk or sugar. Nope. He wanted black coffee.

He slowly made his way back to the office, clutching both mugs of coffee carefully to not spill any onto the white tile. He restrained from stopping every few steps to take a sip even though the heavenly smell toyed with his senses. He needed that coffee. When he reached the office, he discovered Adrien staring at his monitor.

His eyes widened in panic and his gaze flickered around the room, desperate to latch onto any reason for why he would have videos of the heroes open on his computer that didn't immediately scream "I am Hawkmoth".

His son turned with a knowing grin. Gabriel's blood ran cold. He knows, he thought with a brief flash of panic.

"So, Father," Adrien drawled, sending another patronizing smirk his way as he strolled over to Gabriel. Adrien took in his father's shell-shocked appearance, his white-knuckled grip upon both mugs of coffee, and the slack-jawed, wide-eyed look of sheer panic in Gabriel's face. "Anything you want to tell me?"

A million thoughts raced through Gabriel's head. He needed a moment to gather his bearings. He ignored Adrien and walked over to his desk. He set the mugs down, the entire time his mind frantically attempting to formulate a suitable excuse.

"No?" The word slipped out before he could stop it. He could kick himself. Heck, he already akumatized himself. Giving himself a swift kick in the pants would be child's play.

Adrien raised a lone eyebrow at him, obviously having adopted the gesture from Gabriel himself. The smirk remained. "Oh?"

A bead of sweat popped out on Gabriel's forehead and he discretely wiped it off when his back was turned away from Adrien.

"Nothing at all?" Now Adrien was intentionally drawing out the suspense.

Gabriel slammed his poker face back on and turned to face his son. "Nothing of importance."

Adrien allowed his gaze to drift back to the monitor, still covered in the damning video of Ladybug and Chat Noir. "There's nothing wrong with what you're doing."

His brain screeched to a halt at Adrien's words. Gabriel blinked as he replayed their conversation in his mind. "What?"

"It's okay," Adrien assured him. He winked. "I know your secret."

The hairs on the back of Gabriel's neck rose as his palms started to sweat. He clenched them behind his back to hide their clamminess. "What secret?" His attempt at nonchalance faltered as his voice cracked ever-so-slightly. The gleam in Adrien's eyes sharpened like a predatory shark's. Where had he learned how to do that? Gabriel thought, simultaneously proud and terrified of his son.

"You're a fanboy."

A what?

Adrien pointed to the monitor. "I know that video," he remarked. "I have the same downloaded to my computer." He turned to Gabriel, his face shining with glee. "Why didn't you tell me you were a fan of Ladybug and Chat Noir?" he exclaimed. Now he began to bounce on his toes.

Gabriel was still quite lost, but his mind (and heart rate) began to slow as he realized his biggest secret still remained... well, secret. He defaulted to silence as he attempted to piece together what was going on. Thankfully, Adrien was content to babble on some more and fill in those missing puzzle pieces.

"I follow the Ladyblog, too," Adrien announced. "And I follow the Twitter pages, the Tumblr posts, Facebook groups, and I participate in all the discussions." He turned to Gabriel, who now was beginning to understand. His son was a huge supporter of the heroes of Paris. And he believed Gabriel was an equally enthusiastic fan. Well, he could work with this. Adrien let out a gasp. "We could cooperate on our own web page! I could totally run the day-to-day stuff and you could help design the site aesthetics. Why didn't you tell me any of this, Father? We could have had lots of conversations! I actually have a lot of theories I would love to discuss."

Gabriel nearly winced at the hurt that flashed across Adrien's face. "I-" he struggled to find the words, "I- it's not really becoming of me to admit to being a stalwart admirer of Paris' heroes."

Adrien frowned. "There's nothing wrong with that. They're amazing! Ladybug is amazing."

Ah, he was beginning to understand his son just a bit more in that moment of admission. "She is," Gabriel relented, hoping not to alienate his son further by dismissing his favorite hero. His mind raced for a suitable compliment that didn't sound contrived or rife with the annoyance he normally felt toward the two heroes. "They both are quite... resilient." Resilient? Honestly, Gabriel, is that the best you can come up with? Think, Agreste! "I mean, they are both very intelligent and quite fast thinkers on their feet." Better.

Adrien beamed. "Yeah, but Ladybug's unstoppable."

"Hopefully not for long," Gabriel mumbled.

"What?"

Crap, he said that aloud. "Hopefully they won't be required to put their lives in danger for much longer," he explained. Adrien's face softened.

"Yeah," he replied. He stared off to the side at nothing for a minute. Gabriel was taken aback by the sudden distance in his expression. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Adrien's eyes snapped back to him. "Say, Father, did you know they're having an enormous fair for Ladybug and Chat Noir this weekend?"

Did he know? How could he not know with all the advertising and talk surrounding it. "Yes," he replied.

"Well, I was planning on going," Adrien said, biting his lip a bit nervously. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. "And I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? Spend some time together? Now that I know you're as big of a fan as I am."

His voice held so much hope, so much optimism, that Gabriel couldn't begin to think for a moment of crushing those dreams. "Of course," he replied without hesitation, his mind furiously whirling as he began to mentally clear his schedule for that day. The bright smile Adrien beamed at him told him that any inconvenience was worth it to see Adrien smile like that.

"Great!" Adrien exclaimed. "Oh, Father," he added with a mischievous smirk, "did you want to cosplay?"

Did he want to what?

"That's not how I look," Gabriel grumbled to himself as he glared at yet another mockup Hawkmoth doll getting beaten by the resident heroes.

"What was that, Father?" Adrien asked, looking up from where he was rifling through a box of Ladybug figurines.

"Nothing, Adrien," Gabriel answered. "I was just... admiring the merchandise."

Adrien held up his prize - a choice Ladybug figurine cradling a small black cat in her arms. "Isn't this stuff great? Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

"Their Miraculouses," Gabriel muttered, once again unable to control his frustration.

"What?"

"Copies of the Miraculouses?" Gabriel offered in a desperate attempt to save face. It worked as Adrien's eyes lit up with glee.

"That's brilliant, Father! I think I saw some fake jewelry over that way." He pointed and without waiting for a response, started off in that direction with his jaw set in determination. Gabriel suppressed a groan and rubbed a hand against his forehead as he trailed along after his son, wondering how much more of this he could handle before he became desperate enough to attempt to sneak away. He wondered if he could get away with akumatizing someone by transforming in one of the makeshift bathrooms.

At least he talked Adrien out of doing a horrendous cosplay. He couldn't tell if Adrien was joking or serious, but on the off-chance his son was indeed considering dressing up as one of the heroes, Gabriel put a hasty stop to that idea. Though after facing annoyance after annoyance all morning long in the form of cheap souvenirs, gaudy jewelry, and hideous costumes, Gabriel's sanity was beginning to fray. He eyed a particularly convincing Ladybug outfit. Well, not all of the costumes were hideous, he amended. He let himself drift off into a small fantasy about donning his Hawkmoth suit and wondered if he would even make a stir – after all, it's not like anyone actually knew what he looked like. It might be interesting to see the remarks he would get.

Another child in a Ladybug outfit dashed by him, screaming about purifying akumas, and his scowl deepened. He wasn't aiming to instill constant nightmares in the population of Paris, but could the citizens show him a little bit of respect?

After all, he was getting really tired of the constant buffoonish attempts at portraying his alter-ego. From the "PunchMoth" and "time to de-evilize" games, to the caricature designs of his theorized form, to the fake glow-in-the-dark pink akumatized butterfly glasses many wore, Gabriel seriously debated stepping up his game and instilling some real fear into these people. He took a deep breath to calm his irritation. He thought of Adrien and how the boy really enjoyed the fair, despite being forced to walk around with his stuffy father. He knew Adrien probably wanted to go with friends but Gabriel hadn't spotted a single one of his classmates yet.

The day was warm and bright, which was the first indication he might not be able to take advantage of the fair and akumatize anyone today. After all, a cold and dreary weather forecast on a day all of Paris highly anticipated allowed for increasingly stressed emotions. But the rain wasn't around to dampen anyone's moods, much to his disappointment. So he was stuck experiencing banal games and hideous merchandise – of which Adrien had so far managed to squirrel away an entire bagful. When had he found so much stuff? It seemed everywhere he turned, Adrien was picking through a booth's collections and rattling off facts about the heroes with the owners. Gabriel watched him, a small fond smile occasionally appearing on his lips as he observed his son nearly glowing with enthusiasm. The fair was packed with people, though Gabriel really shouldn't have been surprised. If he wasn't so irritated by the fact that their Miraculouses still weren't his, he would marvel in how much solidarity and business the two of them (well, three if he counted himself) brought to Paris.

Everyone around him appeared happy and cheerful, and he hadn't even spotted a single toddler crying. That might crop up later once the morning turned into afternoon and the children became cranky. He remained hopeful.

But for now, the inundation of red and black assaulted his vision. The smells of the hundreds of combinations of food wafting in the air nauseated him. A dull throbbing behind his eyes indicated the approach of an inevitable headache, courtesy of the roaring din of hundreds of people around him. He needed to compose himself. He needed a quiet place to regain his unruffled indifference; a brief respite from all of these people.

"Father!"

Gabriel turned as Adrien ran up to him and thrust a red-balled concoction in his face. Gabriel eyed the treat dubiously.

"What is this?" he asked as Adrien wiggled the string in front of him. He stepped back to get a better look at the object. A small ball of red translucent candy hung from a string. It was shaped like a yo-yo and covered in black spots, which upon closer examination appeared to be chocolate.

"It's a Licky Charm!"

Gabriel turned on his heels and stomped away. He ignored Adrien's laughter and attempts to call after him. "I need some fresh air," he hollered over his shoulder, hoping to dissuade the boy from following him.

He stepped off the main pathway and headed for a lone secluded tent on the outskirts of the open park. It ran along a small barrier, and Gabriel sat down on the edge of the wall. He needed a few moments alone. To distance himself from the cacophony of people and sounds and the heroes everywhere he turned. The tent blocked his view of the crowds and the trees behind the wall shielded his back. He took several deep, steadying breaths as the calm serenity washed over him. Gabriel pulled out his ever-present notebook and pencil and opened to a fresh page. He could draw a bit of inspiration from the events.

After a few minutes of silent sketching, he heard the shuffling noise of another approaching his spot. He stilled, not really wanting anyone to discover him. The tent billowed slightly on his side as the shuffling noise stopped with a huff. It sounded like the person had sat down against the tent just around the corner from him.

"Phew," a girl's voice filtered back to his ears. "I'm beat. This is fun but it sure is tiring."

A giggle answered her. Gabriel realized there must be two people there. "It certainly is. I had no idea there would be this many people." That voice was high pitched and squeaky. It had to be a girl no older than six.

"All them are out here supporting Ladybug and Chat Noir. It's really amazing." The first girl answered. Gabriel suspected she was about Adrien's age. He rolled his eyes and resumed sketching. The conversation next to him died out as the two girls rested against the tent.

A few minutes later, a chime sounded. "Oh," the older girl exclaimed, "everyone is finally here. Time to get moving. We need to meet up with them."

"Okay," the younger girl replied. The tent once again billowed as Gabriel deduced the two had stood up. "It's really a shame they don't have any merchandise of me."

Gabriel's brow furrowed at that unusual remark.

The older girl giggled. "Why would they? You're supposed to be a secret." Her voice faded slightly as she stepped further away. "It's not like anyone even knows kwamis exist."

Gabriel dropped his pencil and shot to his feet. He lunged around the side of the tent, desperate to catch a glimpse of the girl. He should have recognized that voice instantly. That was Ladybug's voice, he was certain! And the younger girl... her voice contained the same childish tone that Nooroo had. Her kwami. Ladybug and her kwami. Next to him. Untransformed.

His head swiveled around, his eyes resting upon empty space. He darted out past the tent, casting frantic glances left and right through the crowd – hoping to discover some hint to her identity. But after a minute of staring, he had to admit defeat. She was nowhere to be seen. He frowned, committing that voice to memory. He wondered if he would recognize it if he heard it again. With a sigh of resignation, Gabriel ducked back around the tent to grab his pencil and sketchbook, securing them inside his jacket before heading off in the direction he last left Adrien. As much as he wanted to head home, he knew his nerves wouldn't allow him to surrender when he was so close to the civilian identity of Ladybug.

He spotted Adrien sitting on a bench conversing with three of his friends: Nino, a girl he recognized as the owner of the Ladyblog, and another girl who seemed oddly familiar but he couldn't quite place. Adrien held up his Licky Charms with a giant smile and the blog owner laughed along with Nino. The other girl smacked her head with her hands. Clearly, she wasn't as much of a fan of puns as his son was. At least now that Adrien found his friends, he could be free to wander the fair alone, on a mission to find Ladybug. If she was here, did that mean Chat Noir was, too?

He smoothed his face. Best to get this over with as quick as possible. If he hurried, he might not have to talk to the group for very long beyond the usual stiff pleasantries. Acknowledge the group, allow Adrien to be with his friends, and gracefully duck out to resume his mission. One, two, three. Easy enough.

He took a deep breath and approached his son.

Author's note: Inspired by the fact that it's pretty darn obvious Gabriel meticulously studies the heroes of Paris when we catch a glimpse of him watching the latest interview.

Thank you to PerditaAlottachocolate for giving me this idea and for proofing the story for me.

Sequel is up, entitled "Cosplay Contest". It's pure crack and pretty self-explanatory. I regret nothing.