THE AFTERMATH

Chapter 1

Ten months had come and gone since the wedding. Strike couldn't believe how fast time had passed, particularly at work. They were just about managing, he and Robin, to cover all their cases satisfactorily. But if the phone calls and appointments kept on coming at the same pace, he might need to start looking for another investigator. Or at least a part-timer.

Not that Strike was complaining as far as his bank balance was concerned. He was beginning to think about renting a bigger flat, but he was not sure of which district to move to. Although his current abode left a lot to be desired, living over the shop was very convenient. It would be hard to give that up.

Robin's salary had increased to reflect her new status as a partner and she was more than earning her keep. She was really thriving as far as investigative work was concerned, picking up the new skills required very easily. On top of this, she still made sure all the administration was up to date, a part of the business which Strike was very relieved he could leave in her capable hands. He trusted her implicitly.

Yes, business was good and Strike was financially stable which he hadn't been in a long time. And yet…..

And yet, what? He wasn't happy, not really. When was he last "happy"? He couldn't really remember. There was always something wrong in his life. Strike surmised that he had long ago accepted that happiness was just never going to happen for him, just like millions of other people.

Most of his adult life had been spent with Charlotte. He had loved her deeply, but in hindsight he couldn't say he ever felt settled and content in their relationship. The highs with Charlotte could be extremely high, but that came at a price: the deepest low points. It seemed like every morning he would wake and wonder which version of Charlotte he would have to deal with that day. It had been so exhausting and Strike just couldn't live that life anymore. The final lie, huge and desperate, was really just the final straw of many straws. It was time for it to end. More than time. Strike still sometimes felt profoundly sad when he pondered that previous life in his spare evening hours or when he was dropping off to sleep, as he was now. However, such episodes were becoming less and less. Something, or rather someone else had entered and now firmly inhabited his thoughts. More and more each day, relentlessly.

"Oh fuck this", Strike murmured to himself as he turned over. He had to stop his mind wandering and concentrate on getting some sleep.

Robin didn't think much about the wedding anymore, but when she did, she still found it so bizarre that Matthew was the one who had stopped it. He had been livid at seeing Strike at the back of the church. However, he was already feeling confused and angry that Robin appeared to be on autopilot at her own wedding. Going through the motions without the hint of a smile or even some nerves, as would be expected. She should be ecstatic, joyful, glowing even, not frowning and giving the impression of being a million miles away!

At the sight of Strike, Matthew just couldn't remain silent any longer. He had no thought for the congregation, waiting on tenterhooks for the vows to be complete and the traditional kiss to be exchanged. Even though Robin had said "I do", Matthew immediately blurted out, "Stop!" Realising the abruptness of his outburst, he hastily added, "Sorry Reverend, can we pause this a minute? Robin, please can we talk? In private? Just a few minutes?" He could sense the pleading in his own voice and felt a twitch of embarrassment. But he persisted, feeling desperate to remove them both from this slow motion disaster. "Please Robin."

Matthew took Robin's hand and led her away towards the door leading to the sacristy, hundreds of pairs of eyes following them as they went. The Reverend quietly descended the steps from the altar, made his way to the sacristy and closed the door behind them. He quickly moved into an adjoining room to give the couple space to talk privately. This wasn't the first time he had had to deal with wedding nerves and doubts. Couples usually sorted things out after a few minutes of discussion and normal service then resumed. He told Matthew and Robin to take their time and call him back when they were ready.

"Robin, what is wrong with you? Are you feeling OK?"

"I'm so sorry Matt. My… my head is all over the place. It doesn't seem real, does it? All the preparation for this day and then when it finally arrives, it's just like… I don't know, like…. like watching two other people getting married." Robin paused. "Oh God, that sounds really crazy, you must think I've lost it."

"Robin, this is our wedding day for God's sake. We've planned this for months, years even. I know we had a wobble, which was totally my fault and I so wish I could change all that, I really do. But don't you want this?"

Robin was wringing her hands. "It must just be nerves getting the better of me. Just give me five minutes, honestly Matt. The enormity of it has just hit me, or….. or something."

Robin couldn't help herself, but even she realised the more she babbled on, the worse it got. Could she really admit that she felt a real sense of dread at the thought of being finally tied to Matthew? For the rest of her life? That she felt panic at the prospect of the dream house in the suburbs and the 2.4 kids, which would surely come? That although she HAD wanted all that before, something had profoundly changed?

Matthew was now staring at some indeterminate point on the wall. Robin wasn't normally fazed by much and her reactions today were really so out of character. He could no longer ignore what was staring him in the face. THAT face, now looming large in his imagination. That battered face. That face which had seemingly appeared from nowhere and pushed over those silly flowers. Was it deliberate? That face which he really wanted to punch, now more than ever. His loathing of Strike rose up in his throat and Matthew couldn't contain it.

"And what the hell is HE doing here?" Matthew spat out, flinging out his arm in the vague direction of the door leading to the main church, trying to keep his voice down for fear of carrying through to the expectant guests. "Don't you remember he fired you and just left you in tears after all your hard work? And now he turns up as though nothing had happened. What's all that about?"

Matthew was now pacing around in no particular direction, as though literally searching for answers. None of this made any sense. Their lives had been just fine before HE turned up. He suddenly stopped and faced Robin again.

"Has he been calling you again?