Chapter 27 – Christmas With The Sugdens

Robert stretched out in bed like a lazy cat, sunlight streaming through the skylight. Downstairs he could hear the frenetic energy of his family bustling around the kitchen, preparing Christmas lunch. Pots clanging, Victoria barking orders, doors banging. Usually the noise would make Robert groan and shuffle under the duvet. But he felt a strange sense of happiness, something he hadn't felt since he was a child. His family in his house. For Christmas.

It was literally a dream come true.

His arm absently stroked the right side of the bed, reaching for Aaron. Instead, he felt the cold bedsheet and a body imprint. Lifting his head up, he heard the sprinkling of the shower from bathroom. Allowing a satisfied smirk to creep on his face, he squashed his head back into his pillow, wrapping the duvet around him.

The bathroom door opened and Aaron emerged through a cloud of steam, scratching his damp hair, blue towel wrapped around his hips. "Had to use your towel and toothbrush. Sorry mate."

Robert propped himself up on his elbow, admiring the view. "After last night… using my toothbrush and towel… really shouldn't be an issue." He winked.

Aaron laughed, chucking the towel at him. "Shut up!"

Robert watched as Aaron picked up his clothes from the floor and quickly pulled them on.

"You gonna watch me get dressed or are you gonna get downstairs and help your lot with lunch?" Aaron asked, sliding his belt through his jeans.

Robert waved a hand dismissively, "They can manage on their own. Besides, they usually yell when food's ready."

Aaron rolled his eyes, "You're so spoiled."

"I'm allowed to be." Robert replied, pouting. "I've been through a lot."

Even though he meant it in jest, he saw the way Aaron's face melted into concern. He walked over to Robert's side of the bed and sat down, running his hand through Robert's hair. "You okay for today?"

"You mean… will I stuff myself?" Robert asked, immediately understanding the subtext. "That's what Christmas is about isn't it?"

"No one will force you to eat Robert." Aaron said firmly, "But - "

"But I have to." Robert said gruffly. He interlinked their fingers together, trying to smile, "I'll be okay Aaron. I'm getting better. I promise. And yes… Christmas is all about celebrating family and kids – and - and of course I'm gonna think of my son. And I probably won't be able to eat or swallow because… well – because I'll be thinking about him. And wondering why I'm allowed to eat and enjoy today when he's…" Aaron's fingers tightened. "But then… I remember my dream. And I remember my Dad's promise to look after my son. And I know he's okay. So I'm okay. Does that make sense?"

Aaron stared at him in amazement. Then he bent down and kissed his forehead, "I'm so proud of you." Aaron whispered against his skin.

Robert clattered downstairs around eleven in the morning. Victoria was stirring about three different pots on the stove, frantically chatting to Diane. Bernice leaned on the countertop, a large glass of wine already clutched in her hand, whilst Doug sneakily topped himself up with some of Robert's whiskey.

Aaron and Liv were already sat at the table peeling potatoes and laughing at something Annie was telling them.

Annie kept to her own corner, expertly rolling out a sheet of shortcrust pastry. Sarah sat on a chair next to her, spooning mincemeat into the small circles of pastry whilst Jack sat on the floor in the living room, his attention fully focused on his new lego set.

Robert felt a warm fluttering in his stomach. Watching everyone clatter around his tiny kitchen… reminded him of the simple, good old days, where family was everything.

"Morning sleeping beauty!" Bernice chirped as Robert dropped into a seat.

Victoria immediately placed a chopping board with about ten carrots lined up, in front of him. She shoved a knife into his hand, "Peel and chop those please."

"Yes your Majesty!" Robert grumbled, exchanging an expaserated look with Andy, who had been forced into an apron and was now wrapping bacon around greasy sausages.

"We're already running late!" Victoria shrilled, wiping her hands on her apron. "Oh my God, I forgot the chicken!"

Robert and Andy burst out laughing. Victoria threw a teatowel at Andy and ordered Robert to keep chopping.

Aaron kept shooting shy glances at him from across the table.

"You not going to your lot for Christmas then?" Robert asked Aaron, keeping his tone neutral.

Aaron shook his head. "Nope. We've sacked off spending Christmas with the Dingles this year. Gonna spend it with the Sugdens instead. If that's okay with you."

Robert kept his head down, slicing each carrot with precision, a smile bubbling through his lips, "Sure. It's okay with me."

While everyone bustled around the table, scrambling to their places, Victoria darting back and forth with steaming dishes, Robert sat back and just soaked in the atmosphere. Finally, when everyone was ready, Robert took his place at the head of the table. All eyes slowly turned toward him.

Did they want him to make a speech?

"What?" He asked to Andy, who was seated to his left.

"Nothing." He replied quickly, picking up a bottle of beer.

"Wait – actually, I have something to say." Robert swallowed nervously. "I – I bought Emmerdale Farm back because deep in my heart, it's always been my home. I've lived in here by myself and with you all… and I have to say that having you here under this roof, for Christmas – it's made me really happy. So thanks."

"Thank you for having us pet!" Diane chirped, offering him a large plate with neatly sliced pieces of chicken.

Robert stared at it, feeling everyone's eyes burning onto him.

"I'll have some of that, thanks Diane!" Aaron piped up, hastily stabbing his fork into a chicken breast.

It broke the ice.

Everyone squabbled over the food, passing plates back and forth, pulling crackers, guzzling back the booze. Robert smiled. He carefully loaded his own plate up with small amounts of food, knowing he was under the watchful eye of his family. He cut the meat and vegetables into tiny chunks, knowing it would help him.

If anyone noticed, they didn't comment.

Robert smirked. Maybe it was just as well they were all hammered.

It was the best Christmas Robert had had in over twenty years. Only two months ago, he'd been lying on his cold, living room floor, watching the fire burn and wondering why he existed. Now, he crouched beside his nephew, helping him build an impressive train set, while the rest of his family merrily laughed and joked around him.

Everyone else seemed so happy and relaxed. Doug dozed peacefully in an armchair, his paper hat drooping across his face. Bernice and Diane kept pouring glasses of wine, their cheeks stained pink, giggling at the most random of things.

Mainly Andy.

And Aaron and Liv sat next to Annie, their attention fixed on her every word. Both of them seemed to have developed a fond attachment to her. And Robert couldn't have been more pleased.

After everyone had stuffed themselves with Victoria's delicious Christmas pudding (Robert had only a tiny slice,) they all exchanged presents.

Robert hadn't had the time to buy anyone anything this year and neither he nor Andy had the funds to do so.

"Here y'are Rob, this one's from me and Vic!" Andy hollered, chucking a large, overwrapped parcel at him.

Robert expertly caught it with one hand. "I thought we weren't doing presents this year! What with us being broke and everything!"

"It's a sibling thing." Victoria said, perching on the end of the couch.

"What is it?" Robert asked, squeezing the package. There was something soft underneath…

"Just open it!" Andy urged.

With Jack's help, Robert tore through the shiny, gold wrapping paper. A dark blue, denim jacket fell onto his lap.

"What's this?" Robert asked in amusement, holding up the jacket for everyone to see. It was a different style than his old one but made of the same, crisp material. And much more stylish.

"We're getting really sick of seeing you in that old getup." Victoria said, scrunching up her nose. "It's soooo 2002!"

"We thought it best that we buy you a new one." Andy smiled warmly, "Fresh start and all that."

Robert returned the smile, shrugging into his new jacket. It still had that strong denim smell.

"You look almost fit in that." Aaron commented, his eyes wrinkling with the massive smile he was firing toward Robert.

Robert scoffed, preening in front of his family, "Almost? Please! I'm flipping gorgeous and you know it."

Aaron and Liv rolled their eyes.

"Should've bought him a new ego." Annie mumbled, taking a small sip of sherry.

"Er, Gran the doctors said to go easy on that!" Robert warned, pointing a finger at her.

"Oh hush Robert I'm only having one!" Annie huffed, hiccuping.

"One and that's your lot!" Robert said sternly.

"I'm ninety-seven Robert!" Annie responded airily, hiccuping again. "Let me enjoy my last few years."

"I plan to keep you around longer than a few years." Robert said stubbornly. "So please lay off the booze."

"Spoilsport." Annie grumbled, but she slipped Aaron a small wink.

"Feel bad that I didn't get you guys anything now." Robert said, his smile waning.

"Make it up to us next year when Sugden Boys takes off!" Victoria said, waving her finger at him.

Robert held up his hand, "On my honour, I will!"

He moved toward the frosted window and gazed upon the dewy fields. Something had been niggling him in the back of his mind during the whole day. Suddenly, he clapped his hands together. "I'm gonna go for a walk! Who wants to come?"

"A walk?" Victoria said frowning.

Robert exchanged a look with Andy and the realisation hit him. "Of course." Andy scrambled to his feet. "Christmas morning we always took walks. When Mum was alive."

"I'm going to sit this one out love." Annie said, blinking sleepily, "But you go on ahead and have fun."

"I think we should make it a tradition every Christmas." Robert said softly, "Morning or afternoon, we go for a walk and remember Mum. Shall we do that?"

Victoria sniffed, her eyes glistening, "Do you even need to ask?"

Actually Robert so wished he hadn't asked.

His doctors had warned him that exercise was to be undertaken in moderate doses, or else he could accidentally induce another heart attack.

But he'd been too wrapped up in his bubble of happiness, inside the farm, that he'd forgotten about how much of a trek these walks could be. He'd also overlooked the fact that a lot of the land – his land, was uphill.

As a child - hell, even as a young, fit, adult, it completely bypassed him. Now, his legs strained to support him as they all trudged toward the main forest. Even to lift his own leg out of the squelching mud, was an effort in itself.

Robert gritted his teeth, wishing he'd snatched his grandmother's cane. No, he wished he'd stayed in the farmhouse with her.

When they approached the familiar wooden gate, Robert's stomach plumetted.

No way could he climb over that.

Aaron halted next to him, clearly noticing his discomfort. Robert could tell he was itching to say something.

"Does this thing open?" Bernice asked, her voice carrying loud over the fields.

"Nah, we have to jump it!" Andy said, bounding over the gate. "Rob and I used to do this all the time as kids, didn't we Rob?"

Robert forced a smile, nodding, "All the time."

Aaron raised his brows at him, but didn't say anything.

He watched, prickling with envy as Andy and the kids, Victoria and Liv all lept effortlessly over the fence.

Bernice primly stepped over the wooden barrier, her hand clutching onto Andy's bulging arm and giggling at something he muttered.

Robert waited until Doug helped Diane over the gate, before placing both his hands onto the damp wood. With trembling arms, he tried to hoist himself up when a much stronger, firmer hand, clamped down over his.

"Don't even think about it mate." Aaron growled into his ear, his breath hot on Robert's neck.

Robert sighed, turning to face him. Aaron didn't look angry or upset…just worried.

Robert called out to the others, "Actually, I'm gonna hang back here for a bit. You guys go on without me."

"Eh? You sure?" Andy called back, ignoring Jack who kept tugging on his hand.

"I'm sure, you go on ahead. I'll – I'll wait for you guys here." Robert said, offering up a smile.

"Are you okay Rob?" Victoria asked, her voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine Vic, honestly!" Robert replied quickly. "Just go, I'll be fine."

"Aaron you coming?" Liv asked.

Aaron glanced at Robert before shouting, "Nah. I'll wait here with Robert."

Liv shrugged, smirking to herself and ran off to join the rest of the group.

"You can go." Robert said to Aaron, his breathing steadily increasing, "I don't need - "

"Yeah you do." Aaron interrupted, anxiety melting over his face. "Robert I don't want to worry ya… but your cheeks are all pink - "

"It's cold!"

"And you're struggling to breathe." Aaron said, his voice hoarse with frustration. His eyes began to glisten. Whether it was the cold, or something else… Robert couldn't tell. He didn't want to know. He hated seeing Aaron even remotely upset.

"Okay, I'll take it easy." Robert released a deep breath, sinking against the fence.

"If I hadn't stopped ya, would you have tried to jump the fence?" Aaron asked.

"Yes." Robert replied through gritted teeth, tears threatening to fall. "Okay? Yes, I would've tried to jump the bloody fence! But I can't can I? I can't do anything! Because of my stupid, broken body - !"

"Hey, hey!" Aaron crouched beside him, gently grabbing a hold of his hands. "Your body – your beautiful body, it isn't broken Robert!" Aaron said, desperation rife in his voice.

Robert's heart fluttered. Or maybe it was just giving up after all this walking. He just didn't know anymore. He'd let himself waste away to the point where he could no longer enjoy even the simple things. Food, long walks… even sex… it was all such a mission now.

"Look at me." Aaron commanded gently, tilting Robert's face toward him. "You're gonna get better." His own eyes were glistening with unshed tears, "Okay? This is just a temporary setback. You're gonna be fighting fit in no time!"

Robert swallowed his building tears, nodding. "Okay." He whispered, unconvinced. "I just – I wanted to remember my Mum and - "

"I know, I know." Aaron said, offering a loving smile. "And you are. I didn't know her, but I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted you to push yourself like this. She'd want you taking care of yourself. Right?"

Robert nodded slowly, "Yeah.

"Let me get you back home." Aaron said, offering his arm. "Your Gran will be worrying about you anyway!"

Robert leaned against Aaron's arm and pulled himself up. "Thanks. The cold is freezing my nuts off!"

to be continued...