I quietly watch Shinji as he hammers in another nail, before automatically moving to the next. The scaffolding is coming along quite nicely, and I expect that the workers will be able to begin repairing the front of the town's newest building before the day's out. Honestly, though, progress is painstakingly slow, what with proper tools and equipment in good condition being hard to come by. But still, we persevere.

Or rather, they persevere. Because I can't do much physical work until my arm heals, at the very least, which is why I'm sitting aside and out of the sun in the first place, just like I've been for the last couple of months.

Needless to say, the development of our little township has been on the dull side of things for me. Not that I envy the people labouring under the sweltering sun right now, mind you, but I'd still prefer to be able to do something more active than tutoring the clueless on how things should be built or used, or going on some light scavenging missions where I'm rarely allowed to do much of anything, anyway.

Because I might break from a little pain, you know? As if I hadn't endured more pain than most people would even be able to imagine throughout my former career, especially towards the end. It's so freaking ridiculous to be treated like fine china, I tell you.

I know my usual scavenging partners mean well, though, which is why I've kept my complaints to myself. Although that's resulted in me being bored out of my skull by now.

Then again, no one ever said rebuilding civilization after Third Impact was going to be easy or exciting, even if the hand we've been dealt isn't nearly as terrible as it could have been. I mean, the buildings being in a good enough state that they can be lived in with minimal work and the infrastructure not being so far gone that we don't have running water in most places is a big deal, after all. Hell, we even have the occasional working electrical outlet within the houses we're restoring, which means that fridges and other critical stuff are a thing!

Having none of the above would have definitely been a royal pain to deal with, I can tell that much. Chances are our community would have needed to be far more agrarian than we already are, and I honestly can't see myself living the farmer's life. It's true that humans can adapt to all sorts of weird stuff, though (you only need to look at the few of us here today, really), so maybe I'm selling myself a bit short in that respect.

But long story short, our starting position as a small town is pretty solid, all things considered. I'd give it an eight out of ten, and I only hope that the rate at which our manpower comes in will end up increasing exponentially or something, because I'm going to be an old lady by the time I can enjoy some of the luxuries we used to have, otherwise.

...

...And speaking of manpower, I wonder if Misato will ever come out. I also wonder about Hikari and the other two stooges, of course, but the question for them is more along the lines of 'when', rather than 'if'.

The same doesn't hold true for Misato and I... kinda miss her, honestly. The small flat Shinji and I have claimed goes uncomfortably silent sometimes, and I can only liven things up so much by myself.

The better part of me doesn't put a lot of hope on my self-proclaimed Big Sis coming out of the LCL sea any time soon, though. If whatever fantasy world she's living on is as ideal as it should be, I can't see Misato letting go of Kaji a second time, even if he's not the real thing. Especially since there's no chance the man I used to crush on hard will walk among the living again, and...

...

...Don't go down that path, Asuka; happy thoughts. Focus on those happy thoughts.

...

...In any case, I think it will do all of us good to see some more familiar faces around in the short term. Especially Shinji, since he's been on the mopey side ever since the world went kaput.

It's really no wonder why he's like that, though, even if it's not his fault. The way some people have been on his case doesn't help matters, either, although most of them realise they're not being fair before too long. A few of them have even apologised to him, although the damage had been done by then.

My eyes fall back on the workers, following some of the worst offenders as they move wood, cement and other materials to the work site. A few of them notice me staring, but are quick to drop their gaze to the ground or to act as if our eyes had never met. They obviously remember the verbal thrashing this fourteen year old girl had them endure.

Each and every one of them.

Bah, good riddance. My actions definitely didn't do much for my popularity in town, but I still would repeat them in a heartbeat, if the need arises.

No one harasses my Shinji without consequence. Not on my watch.

Still, and as my eyes change target and move to focus on my... boyfriend, I can say that it's clear as day that Shinji's not really there. His limbs and actions are, and he's working with an efficiency men twice his size would envy, but his mind's somewhere far, far away. It's obvious to anyone that pays him just the slightest bit of attention, really.

Where his thoughts are, I can't say with one hundred percent certainty (much to my growing frustration), but I can definitely attest that Shinji's line of thinking isn't following the many positives of our current situation.

...

...Sigh.

...Idiot. What the hell's going through that head of yours?

"That boyfriend of yours sure is a hard worker, isn't he?"

"Mm?" I turn towards the voice that snaps me out of my thoughts, and find a girl my age walking towards me with a grin. "Oh, hey, Makinami."

Mari Makinami, one of the few dozen of Returned that make up our little township in the area, and, according to her, a former resident of that town in the boonies Misato drove us to so many months ago (or is it years ago, now? I guess it doesn't really matter).

I suppose you could say that we're friends, or that's what Makinami would claim, anyway, since she's been glued to me ever since she came out of the sea, for some reason. Which is to say, she's made sure to fill the quota of daily annoyances for my daily life here in our small community, making good use of her abilities for being a major pain in the ass.

Honestly (and speaking of Majors), she's kinda like Misato, in a way, with all of my self-proclaimed Big Sis' annoying qualities in a younger package. Maybe that's why I've tolerated her for this long.

...

Besides, I sort of promised Mama that I'd try to be a bit more open with people from now on. Makinami makes for a good practice partner in that regard in the few moments when she's not being irritating.

"Hey, yourself," my new companion greets back, taking a seat beside me. "How's your day going?"

"Hot." I motion to the scorching sun above to illustrate my point. You'd think all that weird metaphysical stuff we went through would do something about this damned heat, but noo... "What are you doing here, anyway? Weren't you on transport duty today?"

Makinami just shrugs casually and shows me an energy bar, complete with its wrapping. One of the many that can be found in the town's food stockpile.

"Yeah, but the truck had a bit of a breakdown and those in the know are getting to fixing it, so I thought to myself: 'Hey, now's a good time for a mid-morning snack!'. And since I saw you here, looking kinda loouunliee..." Makinami's voice trails off, in that childish way I find so damn bothersome. She snaps out of it quickly enough, though, throwing a meaningful look at my bandaged arm. "Is the arm feeling any better?"

"I guess." I support my answer by flexing the fingers of my right hand open and closed a few times. It stings a little, but nowhere near as much as it did when Shinji and I first came out of the sea. "I can grab light things with my hand now, but it's still... less than ideal."

"It'll get better, don't worry about it." Makinami reminds me of why she's considered one of the most optimistic people in our small community by throwing a wide smile my way, as she works to unwrap her mid-morning snack. "Besides, it's not like you're not doing your share of the work!"

"Yeah, I try not to think too hard about it. It's pretty hard to feel useless when people need your help to figure out how a simple water pump's supposed to be built, anyway."

We lapse into a comfortable silence after that, with Makinami greedily munching on her snack and me watching Shinji and the other workers toil on repairing and refurbishing the town's next building.

And looking at them and their rivers of sweat, even when working in short shifts, I continue to be ever thankful for the fact that I've got a nice spot of shade for myself.

...

...I'm pretty sure that I haven't seen Shinji take a breather in a while, though, now that I-

"Hey, Bonny-"

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?" Makinami takes my interruption in stride, not even blinking at the danger behind my words. "You even have the eye patch, and everything!"

"Because I can make damn sure that they never find your body, that's why."

Makinami casually looks at me through the corner of her eye for a moment, clearly gauging just how serious I am with following on my threat. Soon enough, she deems her latest joke not worth the risk of severe bodily harm.

Smart girl.

"...You're no fun." She sighs dramatically, exactly in the same way Misato would have. "In any case, can I ask you something?"

I shake myself of my reminiscing quickly enough to answer.

"So long as it's not more of your usual bullshit, sure. Shoot."

Makinami goes silent for a few seconds, no doubt thinking about how to best put to words whatever it is that she wants to say. Which considering her habit of just blurting whatever's in her mind like, ninety-nine percent of the time, already tells me that this is probably not more of her usual bullshit.

"...You still remember what it was like?" Makinami eventually asks, motioning with her head in the general direction of the sea of LCL. "You know, in there?"

...Huh. So that's where this conversation's going to be going, eh?

All right, then. I haven't really spoken about that with anyone except Shinji, so far. Maybe it will do me some good to share the more normal experiences with someone else.

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you remember your dream, then?"

"It wasn't a dream."

"Eh, it felt like one, so I'd say it's close enough." Makinami brushes off my correction in her usual, carefree way. "In any case, do you remember yours?"

"Sure, I do. But what's it to you?"

"Nothing, really, just curious." She admits with a shrug and her ever-present smile. "I mean, I've been asking the folks around here, and some of them had some pretty cool dreams going for them. Like spaceships flying through the galaxy and stuff; my dream of travelling the whole wide world was pretty tame in comparison, but I guess that that's what you get for being a girl who's never really left the village she grew up in all her life. It got pretty boring by the end, though, which is probably why that Ayanami girl had so little trouble with getting me to leave." Makinami then turns towards me, her grin becoming wider and quite a bit silly. "I guess I'm especially curious about yours because, you know, if random city people were dreaming about spaceships, the dream of a famous EVA Pilot must've really been something else!"

...Exciting, huh? Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on her face.

"It really wasn't."

"Huh?"

Man, you can really tell the disappointment in her voice. Oh well, it's her own fault for jumping to conclusions.

"My dream world, as you call it. It wasn't anything extraordinary. Quite the opposite, really." I elaborate leisurely, taking a bit of pleasure in seeing Makinami's grin slowly morph into a pout. "It was just a normal life, in a normal city, with normal friends. No giant robots, or monsters, or ancient conspiracies and stuff. My... My mother was around, too."

"What?! Oh, man. Talk about boooring." My companion grunts in obvious disapproval, before she tries to work out her letdown by taking a bite out of food. "I guess when you've had all that excitement in your life, ideal dream worlds bring you full circle, or something."

"Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint. It was still nice, though. I honestly don't think I'd have left if Ayanami hadn't reminded me of a few... important things," I quickly charge past my brief hesitation, giving my self-proclaimed friend no chance to question me on the nature of said 'things'."It was a good life, even if it felt like a bit of a slapstick comedy at times, especially with everything involving Shinji and her."

Makinami instantly picks up on my annoyance at the end of my words, perking back up to her usual cheery self and rounding on me in the blink of an eye.

"Oooh~! Is that a love triangle? That sounds a lot like a love triangle! Maybe your dream wasn't so boring, after all!" Makinami questions/demands in quick succession, now completely back into what I've taken to calling her 'sugar-high mode'. "'Cause you're still talking about the Ayanami girl, aren't you? Or a proxy, or something. She left a lot of pining hearts in her wake when you guys left town, you know?"

And it's my turn now to hang on to Makinami's last words, my mind quickly travelling back to my debacle with Rei on that particular day, and to the many others that followed the weirdo's late blooming into society. Those were... fun.

And I'd go into more detail on just how fun, but I think my instinctive facepalm speaks for itself.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

Makinami breaks down laughing at my response, proceeding to milk it for everything that it's worth. This includes jokes, theories and stories made-up on the spot that are more than a bit embarrassing, even with full knowledge that they couldn't be any less true.

How this girl can say all that stuff with a straight face is beyond me. She really is a lot like Misato.

It makes for some good fun, though. Especially some of the more ridiculous scenarios, like the one where Makinami pretty much inserted herself as another EVA Pilot, going into a lot of detail about how her EVA would have drills, and roll on giant wheels instead of standing on two feet, and a lot more silly and impractical stuff. And that's without going into how she was describing her piloting manoeuvres, very flashy and more in line with one of those old Mecha anime than anything we actual EVA Pilots could do.

Heh. For how damn irritating Makinami can be, she's got one hell of an imagination, I'll give her that.

Which is why my ears perk up at her cutting off the latest story mid-sentence.

"...Hey, Asuka." Makinami shakes my shoulder to get my attention, before motioning with her hand to the working site. "Isn't your boyfriend looking a bit wobbly on his feet?"

"Eh?"

It takes me a second to fully digest Makinami's words, her quick shift into seriousness having caught me flat-footed, but the sound of building materials crashing against the ground snaps my eyes in the same direction she's looking just as swiftly...

...right on cue to watch Shinji stagger for a few steps, and then meet the ground face first.

"Shinji!"

-]O[-

"Damn, Ikari! You're a lot heavier than you look!"

Those are the first words that I hear, coming from the mouth of a person that I can't identify right now. I'm sure that I know the owner of the voice, but I... I can't concentrate, for some reason. Whoever it is, though, she's carrying me. And having some real trouble doing so.

My head's swimming, and I can barely move a finger. My body feels really, really hot, too. What's going on?

I hear the click of a lock opening and hurried footsteps moving ahead of me and my helper. Several clanking sounds follow all over the place, the sounds of stuff being moved from one place to another without much of a care for their state, and I think... I think I catch a few German swear words here and there.

That must be Asuka, then. She sounds... troubled.

My helper quickly enters the room, braving the possibility of Asuka smacking into us both, and plops me down on a seat as carefully as she can. She then takes a deep breath and makes me lay down on my back.

During the brief moment that I manage to open my eyes, I identify a familiar ceiling. The place that I'm laying on feels familiar, too. I recognize the touch, anyway. I think it's...

Yeah, this is the couch. Which means that I'm back at the apartment.

...What happened, though? Wasn't I just working...?

Thin fingers suddenly press against my forehead, jolting me out of my train of thought. They feel ice-cold against my skin.

"Woah! He's burning up, Asuka!"

"Yeah, I expected as much." Asuka calls back, continuing to frantically move up and down the room. "Don't worry, though, I'll handle it from here."

"...You sure? I don't mind helping, you know?"

"It's fine, I can take care of this much on my own. But thanks for the help, anyway. "

The background cacophony of strides and slams comes to a stop with Asuka's words, to the rejoicing of my pulsing head. She must have found whatever it was that she was looking for.

"It's all right. Okay! You take care of your man and I'll find someone who can cover for you guys!" the third person with us replies cheerfully as she pulls back her fingers, and I make out what I think is the sound of her popping her neck. "My only price will be some details~!"

"Just go away, will you?"

"Fine, fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted... Just don't hurt him too hard, all right?" The stranger I can't quite place puts a hand on my shoulder and gives it an encouraging squeeze. "I'll see you around! Get well soon, Ikari-kun!"

And just like that, mystery girl's gone like the wind, flinging the door shut and running down the building's stairwell with reckless abandon. Or what sounds very much like reckless abandon, anyway.

Asuka appears to agree with me, too, because she starts to mutter 'verrücktes Mädel' this and 'irre Tussi' that under her breath, and while German is honestly pretty bad, I can still translate that she's calling someone a crazy girl.

Despite her tone I can tell that she's not really mad, though. Although I am surprised that I can still pick up on Asuka's tells and the bits of German even when feeling terrible. All that training over the last few months must have really paid off.

"Hey, look who's back with us. Did you have a nice nap, Shinji?"

I force my eyes open long enough to see Asuka standing by my side, arms crossed, before the pain in my head makes me close them again.

I guess I should ask her about that other girl that was with us. Knowing what happened would be nice, too.

"...Asuka?" I begin, finding it pretty hard to speak my thoughts. "Who...?"

"That was Makinami. She's the one that brought you here." Asuka cuts me off, and I hear her lean closer and unfurl her arms, setting alarm bells off in my head. "But more importantly..."

Warnings that arrive much too late, because a new pain blossoms in my head to join the one I already had.

"OW!" My eyes snap open and I swiftly bring a hand to the spot of hair Asuka's just hit. "What was that for?!"

"That was for being your usual idiotic self!" Asuka retaliates, roaring her answer straight on my face. "Do you have any idea of the scare you just gave me?!"

"I... I'm sorry?"

Despite my continued attempts over the months at cutting down on what Asuka dubs 'my answer to everything', old habits prevail this time and an apology comes out pretty much automatically. In my defence, though, Asuka looks angry like I haven't seen her in a long time, and I don't really know what to make of it.

"You better be, you big jerk! What the hell were you thinking, working yourself to the bone like that?!"

In the face of Asuka's furious tirade, I instinctively make myself as small as possible against the back of the couch. Not that doing that helps me much, since Asuka's quick to close the distance and put us back into our former position. The only thing I've succeeded at is making myself more uncomfortable.

Not that I'm paying much attention to that detail, honestly. I'm far more focused on watching Asuka's hands to try and figure out where the next strike's going to hit.

But, to my shock, no follow-up attack comes after the slap to the top of my head. Wondering as to why, I shift my attention back to Asuka's face, who's still very much seething.

But then I notice, among other things, that her visible eye is slightly wet and reddish.

And then it clicks.

Asuka's not angry at me, she's worried about me. Granted, making that distinction with Asuka is oftentimes difficult since she tackles both issues in pretty much the same way, but the difference is important.

After all, that difference lets me know that I'm completely at fault here, for one.

...

...Good going, Shinji. There you go, making Asuka worry as if she didn't have enough to worry about, already.

"I... I'm sorry."

I notice Asuka's eyebrow twitch at my answer and realise a moment too late that 'I'm sorry' might have been the wrong thing to say right now, although I can't really think of anything else I could have said in this situation; I mean, it's clear that I've upset her. A lot. How am I not going to apologize?

Thankfully, Asuka understands soon enough that my apology wasn't automatic, her features going down in intensity from furious to merely irritated. She still spends a few seconds boring holes into me, though, probably considering whether she should accept the apology but still double down on the intense messaging until she's completely sure that I'm clear on all accounts.

"As long as you get it." Asuka finally breathes out, falling back to the edge of the couch and allowing me some breathing room. "...I should have made you stop, anyway. By force, if necessary."

I feel a cold sweat run down my back at the words 'by' and 'force' coming out of Asuka's mouth in quick succession, but that feeling is quickly overshadowed by concern when I see just how much her face has darkened.

...

She's... blaming herself for things again, isn't she?

...

Dammit, Shinji, this is all your fault. Why do I always do this?

"That's- There's no need for that, Asuka."

"Really? Could've fooled me," the piercing glance that Asuka throws my way does more than make me flinch. "You can bet we're going to be talking about this, Ikari."

...

Well, so much for evading the hook. That doesn't sound foreboding at all.

I fully deserve whatever happens, though.

"But first, we should get to work on fixing you up." Asuka continues, putting a hand to my forehead. "How does it hurt? You feeling hot?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Thought so, good thing I found a small water bag for your forehead. Does your head hurt, and does it feel like the house won't stay put for a damn second?"

I blink at Asuka's words, realising with some surprise that I'm not hurting all over like I was a few minutes before, for some reason. But then, as if becoming aware of the lack of pain had flipped some sort of switch within my body, the aforementioned aches come back with a vengeance.

I guess that fearing for my life had given me a bit of a breather, but that I'm fair game again now that the direct danger has passed. My headache seems especially happy to be back, returning with sharp and intense stings that feel just like someone trying to drill straight through the top of my skull.

...

...Kinda like the first time I piloted Unit-01. I remember feeling a sharp pain in my head at some point during the fight that was very similar to this, only ten or twenty times worse.

Despite the lower scale, though, this is still very painful. Enough that I've got no choice but to limit myself to gritting my teeth and nodding my head at Asuka's question.

"I see." Asuka shifts her hand around to tenderly scratch at my scalp, her voice becoming softer, more caring, as she does. "Well, that settles it."

And as a result of her touch, of her wordless delivery of 'everything will be all right', my massive headache becomes more manageable. I open my eyes to look at Asuka's own and, while it still hurts a lot, it's as if merely staring at her blue eye, at her fiery hair, at... at all the little things that make Asuka, Asuka, is enough to make me feel like I've just drunk the most effective medicine in the world.

...

God, even after everything that's happened, she's still so pretty. And smart, and funny and...

...

And I keep letting her down time and time-

"Hello? Earth to Shinji?" Asuka waves her hand in front of my face, breaking me out of my thoughts. "You there?"

"E-Eh? W-What?"

I've... obviously missed something, and then immediately exposed myself by utterly failing to roll with the punches. Asuka narrows her eyes at me, clearly annoyed about not being listened to.

"I asked you if you're feeling up for eating something." Asuka repeats herself, poking me lightly in the forehead. "But you answered me by pulling off a zombie impression."

"I- Sorry, Asuka. I... sort of got distracted."

"Distracted?" she echoes, looking quizzically around the barebones flat around us. "By what?"

"...Stuff."

And I make sure to look anywhere but in her general direction. Because if Asuka finds out that the answer is 'by you', I'm not going to live it down in what's left of the day, especially since I can't exactly put any distance between us, right now.

Thankfully for me, Asuka shrugs and drops the topic soon enough.

"Whatever, it's fine. I remember it being hard for me to focus, too. So, ironic situations aside, what's it going to be: food, or no food?"

I consider the question for the two seconds it takes my stomach to rumble a little bit. I don't know if it's a good idea, but...

"I think I can stomach something." I respond, propping myself onto my elbows. "I'll get to work on-"

"What?! Oh, hell no!"

And not a moment later, I find myself being forced on my back once again by an irate Asuka.

"H-Huh?!" My protest takes a moment to come out, since my muddled mind doesn't take kindly to sudden shifts in inclination. "Asuka? What are you...?"

"What am I doing?!" An opening that Asuka's more than happy to take advantage of. "Never mind me, what do you think you're doing, you idiot?!"

"...Eh?"

"Don't 'Eh' me like I'm speaking nonsense, Third!" Asuka emphasizes her point by poking my chest with her finger, like she always does when she doesn't want any arguments being thrown back at her. "You have a heatstroke, so don't even think about doing anything other than staying put!"

"But-"

"And no buts! You've done it two times already, so it's about time I got to take care of you, don't you think?"

...Two times? But Asuka's only been sick once...

...

Oh. She's talking about that Angel, isn't she?

I guess I did take care of Asuka after the fact. But what else was I supposed to do after failing her like I did? I don't even want to think about what could have happened if Rei hadn't been there.

...Why is it that I always mess up when it counts the most?

"Shinji." Asuka taps me on the forehead, breaking my train of thought for the third time. "You're spacing out on me again."

...

...I'm really doing that a lot lately, aren't I? That won't do. I can't make things better for everyone if I lose my focus like that.

"S-Sorry."

"I said it's fine, already. But more importantly, can we agree that you're not going to do anything stupid until you're feeling better?"

...

Okay, Asuka's right. It's probably for the best that I rest until I recover, since that will ensure that I'm a dead weight for the shortest time possible. Besides, being taken care of does sound like a nice prospect, given how bad I'm feeling (not that I was ever going to have a say in the matter, apparently).

...

...But there's this glaring and important detail that's still unaccounted for:

"...O-Okay. But who's going to cook if I don't? Is Makinami-san going to come back soon?"

Asuka scoffs and crosses her arms, throwing her head to the side.

"She better not."

...Okay, so that's a 'no'.

"But then, who...?"

I think about the options for a few seconds, finding zero in terms of probable answers for my troubles. It doesn't help that Asuka's pointed glare tells me everything I need to know of her thoughts on the matter, namely, that I'm being 'dense' again as far as she's concerned.

But I still don't see what's so obvious about the answer. If Makinami-san isn't a correct response and no one else is coming to help us, then that just means that it's the two of us here, right? And if I can't cook, and Asuka's made it clear time and time again before that she doesn't-

...

...Wait a minute...

"You- You can cook, Asuka?!"

Asuka's eyes somehow manage to narrow even further.

"...What's with the surprised reaction? Of course I can cook!" She asserts, as if her words were common knowledge established long ago. A moment later, though, she adds under her breath. "...I mean, it can't be that hard."

And neither the second of silence nor Asuka's quiet admission fill me with confidence about what will come out of this.

Not that I'm going to say that out loud.

-]O[-

"How is it? Tasty, huh?"

I take a few seconds to roll the soup around my mouth, doing my best to ignore the expectant stare that Asuka's failing to hide. The taste is a bit on the strong side, probably because Asuka used a bit too much salt, but overall...

"Yeah. It's good, Asuka."

Not bad at all for a first try. Definitely above Misato tier, that's for sure.

"Ha! Told you I could do it!" A happy smile blossoms on Asuka's face, one that makes it clear she's giving herself a very big pat on the back. "Something as simple as a kitchen can hide no secrets from me!"

It's a shame that it also couldn't defend itself from you. From the sounds of it, I get the feeling that a lot of the cooking stuff is going to need replacement.

I can't argue with the results, though, even if they are surprising. But the next time that Asuka feels like cooking I must make sure to be there in order to run damage control. Especially if she feels like upping the ante and going for more difficult stuff than soup.

"Okay Shinji," she declares, picking up some more soup. "Now say 'Ah'."

"What?!" I quickly refocus my attention on Asuka, who's had her satisfied smile morph into a dangerous smirk. "I-I'm not doing that!"

"Come on, don't be shy!" she insists, using the spoon to probe just in front of my mouth. "This is the Great Asuka Langley-Sohryu feeding you, you know? Think of it as a great honour!"

...I'd think of it as an honour if it wasn't something that I know you're going to hang over my head for days to come, Asuka.

...

...Oh, well. Might as well get it over with, since there's obviously no getting out of this one.

"...A-Aaahhh..."

Asuka's wide smile returns, and she wastes no time in putting the food inside my mouth, complete with flying plane sound effect. She then pats the top of my head as if I was some sort of puppy.

"Good boy."

The withering glare that I send her way has little to no apparent effect, what with Asuka dumping the spoon in the soup bowl for a second round with nary a worry in the world.

...This is so embarrassing. And it continues to be embarrassing until the last drop of soup is gone and Asuka heads off to the kitchen to clean the bowl, spoon and the many cooking utensils she used a few minutes ago.

I feel myself slowly drift off while she does so, listening to Asuka work, the sound of the water splashing against the pots lulling me into a state of half-sleep. Kinda like the effect that falling rain has in relaxing a lot of people, only louder. Because Asuka.

Soon enough, Asuka finishes with her tasks and walks over back to the couch, plopping down on the floor next to it. She then chooses to restart her head rubbing, which I'm more than happy with since it contributes to keeping the headache at bay.

A headache that's become far less painful over time, but that's still very much annoying. Nevertheless, I get the feeling that, despite appearances, the heatstroke hasn't hit me nearly as badly as it did Asuka because I remember her complaining about her head well into her second day of sickness, and Asuka's not one to loudly complain about stuff ailing her. She saves those complaints for plenty of other less important stuff, most of the time.

It's looking like I got off easy this time, which I'm completely fine with. The less time I need to stay indisposed, the better.

...

...Although I'll miss Asuka pampering me like this. This kind of thing normally goes the other way around and, now that I've tried it, I can see why she always takes every opportunity to have me play with her head. It's very enjoyable.

"You idiot," she eventually tells me in a soft voice. "You hurt yourself like this again and I'll kick your butt."

"...Didn't you already do that?"

"Don't get cheeky with me, that was a love tap. I can do much worse." Asuka then stands up and motions to the back of the couch with her head. "Now, roll over."

"H-Huh?"

"I said roll over."

Asuka repeats herself, and her tone, while not quite angry, all but tells me that going against her wishes right now isn't the healthiest of things to do. Therefore, I press my back against the rear part of the couch before she needs to speak a third time...

And Asuka responds by quickly putting herself in the space I used to occupy.

"A-Asuka?! What are you doing?!"

"What?" she responds, smiling impishly. "This is nothing new, right?"

"N-No, b-but..."

You're a lot closer than usual, I can smell your shampoo, count your eyelashes and... and...

...

...and you've just cut off my only route of escape.

"It's fine. Just relax, idiot." Asuka continues, seamlessly going back to being no-nonsense and making me swallow because of it. "I'm going to be raking you over the coals soon enough anyway, so you better make good use of this little rest."

And so, the so called 'little rest' does follow, although the period of time does very little for Asuka's supposed goal of helping me relax. I wonder why?

"So?" Asuka eventually looks me in the eye, further indicating that playtime's over. "What happened, Shinji?"

"..."

"Not up for speaking? Too bad, you're not running away from this one, Ikari. I'm done procrastinating on the whole giving you a piece of my mind thing, even if we have to stay like this until dark."

...

That's... actually not a bad proposal, Asuka. I'm more than tempted to remain silent just because of it, as a matter of fact.

But since I know that it's not going to be anywhere near as pretty as the optimistic side of my mind is making it sound, I better come up with an actual response. One that doesn't make Asuka worry, if at all possible.

"Nothing happened. I had an accident because I was an idiot, that's all."

"Right. There's one thing that's true in that sentence and it's you being a big idiot." She responds, narrowing her eye at me. "Other than that, do you really think I'm stupid enough to buy the rest of that BS, Shinji?"

"...Not really. It was worth a try, anyway."

"Good dodge. But hey, since obviously you don't feel like talking, how about letting me be the one to make an educated guess?" Asuka leans forward, advancing further into my personal space. "That woman that showed up last week said something to you, didn't she?"

"..."

A scoff follows my non-response, Asuka clearly believing that my silence means she got it in one.

And she's right, because the woman she's talking about, Akane Yamano, did speak to me like so many before her.

"Knew it. So, what did she have to share?"

The same things that the many before her did. That I was a murderer, the greatest genocidal maniac history had ever known. That she despised me, and wished for nothing more than someone putting a bullet in my head for ruining her married life, and so on, and so forth...

You'd think that after so many times hearing similar things over and over again my mind would sort of switch off in those situations, but no. Or rather, I don't know if it would, because I don't let it.

It is my fault, after all, and I won't run away from that. The least I can do is listen to the words of the people whose lives I destroyed.

"...Okay, forget the answer. I can tell exactly what she said just by looking at your face." Asuka lets out an angry growl, closing her left hand into a tight fist. "Looks like I got myself another person on my shit list."

And I can see exactly where this is going.

"Asuka, don't."

"...Excuse me?"

Asuka soon blinks her confusion away, and narrows her eye at me for the umpteenth time today. It's clear that she's more annoyed with me than she's been in a long while, but I don't let that stop me.

"Don't have one of your talks with Yamano-san. I appreciate you doing that, but I can't... I can't keep on depending on you to handle my problems and-"

Asuka interrupts any further argument by meaningfully poking me in the chest.

"Don't give me that crap. You watch my back and I'll watch yours, remember? It's not like I'm doing much else, anyway, so it's really no skin off my nose to put one or two people in their place." Asuka pauses her poking for a second, her voice softening a few octaves before she continues. "Especially when we all know by now that Instrumentality was going to happen one way or another. What that woman's doing is unfair. You did nothing wrong, Shinji."

I did nothing wrong?

Really, Asuka? I pulled the trigger on humanity! I know you're just trying to help, but you trying to make me believe that kind of lie actually makes me a little bit angry.

"That's easy for you to say," I scoff. "You didn't end the world."

"And you didn't, either." Asuka counters, propping herself onto her injured arm to look at me from above. "But fine, I'll play your game: let's imagine for a second that I'm in your shoes, and that I've just survived a multi-month war against giant alien invaders. Altogether, I've sortied out fifteen times to fight hulking monsters that most grown men would run in terror from, all the time asking for very little in return. And it's been tough, and the fighting's left marks in me and my teammates, but we've pushed on, with the certainty that things will be better once the battle's over because we have each other and there's a tomorrow worth giving our hardest for."

"But then, the last Angel dies. And our reward for our service is having the army invade NERV with orders to shoot us on sight, due to background puppeteers activating the last step of their plans to become Gods. But even against those odds and with everything burning around us we don't give up, and choose to sortie one more time for an ungrateful world. It's the most important fight of our lives and we give it our all." Asuka pauses for an instant, before bitterly spitting her next words. "Or at least one of us does, because Rei is taken by my bastard of a father to fulfill a role she no longer believes in and my own EVA suddenly won't activate, because lo and behold, the madwoman that resides within has designs of her own, like every freaking adult in this damn world, it looks like."

"And so I shout and beg for the EVA to move, to let me help the person that's desperately fighting up above against all odds, but it doesn't listen. And by the time it does see fit to grant my wish and I finally catapult into the Geofront, it's too late, and the best thing that's happened in my life is lying dead on the ground, cut and sliced into tiny little chunks."

Asuka complements her last three words with a slow hacking motion of her good hand. She then lets out a breath and looks away, but doesn't waste a single moment in thinking about how she should continue her what-if scenario.

"I lose it for a while, and I take my anger out on those who have killed the awkward, gentle boy that I'd fallen in love with. I succeed to a degree, but then things start going down the shitter again and everything stops making sense. For the longest time I have no idea about what's going on anymore but, amidst all of it, Rei somehow appears in front of me after abandoning my sorry excuse for a father and poses me a question. It's a hard question, too. A 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' type of thing but, at least, one of the terrible options gives me a chance at seeing the most important person in my life again."

Asuka turns her eye towards me, staring intensely into my own. And not out of anger or worry, as she has the last few times, but out of something else entirely: care and affection in equal amounts but, most of all, honesty and confidence.

"And so, I take that option without a second thought. And here we are today."

...

Silence envelopes the room, settling in so firmly that the sound of Asuka's breathing and my own are the only things that could have masked the falling of the proverbial pin. Asuka looks deeply embarrassed too (if her bright blush is to be any indication), but she refuses to break eye contact by making full use of that headstrong and confident nature that I've always admired so much.

She's sending a message, and wants to make damn sure I understand it.

I, for my part, am struggling to come up with something to say in response to said message. Because while a small part of me was hoping for it, I honestly didn't think nor expect that Asuka would claim to make the same choice I've been struggling to accept for so long, let alone so decisively.

I could tell that she meant her words, too, even if I still find it hard to believe.

"You..." Feeling the need to make sure, I eventually find my voice again. "Y-You would have done the same thing?"

"Of course I would have! Fuck the world! What has the world ever done for me? I don't care if it's selfish, but I wouldn't have given you up!" Asuka explodes before me, shattering the remnants of the silence as if it had never been there. "Besides, 'damned if I do, damned if I don't', remember? Not going along with Rei's plan would have meant your prick of a dad or those other assholes doing the same thing on their terms, and I don't need Rei to tell me that that option would've been far worse than having my life and choices witnessed and criticized by every thought-capable being on Earth!"

"But... But the city..."

"What about the city, or the planet? I know you realise already that things would have gone to hell down here no matter what. You had no control over that, and beating yourself up over it is plain stupid."

Asuka takes a few seconds to catch her breath, and to run her temper through a few filters until she's feeling more relaxed. I allow her the time to do so, both because I feel it will be better for my overall well-being and because... I'm honestly running out of arguments to dispute her with.

"When it comes down to it, what you chose was the lesser evil, Shinji. And in time, everyone will come to realise that."

"...A-And if they don't?"

"Then they can go fuck themselves," Asuka responds, not a hint of doubt in her voice. "And if they have something to say, I'll be there. I watch your back and you watch mine."

...

Finally debated into silence, I spend the next few seconds just looking at her, running Asuka's declaration through my mind time and time again. It... makes me happy, to know that I have her wholehearted support even if it means having to make a stand against the entire world.

Asuka suddenly breaking away and burying her head against my chest breaks me out of my admiring, though. It looks like where her words made me feel glad they made her feel embarrassed, and that she's trying to hide that fact however she can, as usual.

...

Heh, it might be good for getting her point across when necessary, but that headstrong nature of hers also makes Asuka do the cutest things, sometimes.

"But that won't happen," she continues softly, not moving from her spot. "As we speak, people are already starting to figure out the terrible position that you were in, and you can actually thank Instrumentality for that."

I snap back to the topic we were discussing, my spirits dropping slightly. I'm more curious about Asuka's last line, though.

"What do you mean?"

"About your position, or about Instrumentality?"

"Both."

"Well, as far as Instrumentality goes, I believe that the more time people spend outside of it, the more they start to forget the mumbo jumbo of thoughts and feelings that we were forced into and single out the more important bits and pieces, like their personal stuff and what happened to you. I think that's helping them put things into perspective, already."

I direct my stare at the ball of red that forms the top of Asuka's head, wondering about her words. My experience within Instrumentality was different from everyone else's, so I can't really tell if Asuka's line of thinking is solid or if she's just throwing it out there for my benefit.

The bigger part of me doesn't put a lot of stock into the latter, but still...

"You think...?"

"Well, I'm basing it on my experience, but I don't think my evolution would be any different from any other person's." Asuka shrugs, snuggling in closer and putting her good arm around my back. "But to prove it, tell me: remember Tetsuo, or Hikawa? Would you say they liked you when they first came out of the sea?"

Well, that's one easy question to answer.

"No."

The looks they gave me made that clear as soon as they joined with the both of us. And they were the first to do so, but by no means the last.

"Well, the two of them beat me at getting to you when you collapsed. Especially Hikawa, the guy was pale as a ghost."

I find myself blinking at Asuka. That's... not something I was expecting.

"...Really?"

"Really. Why would I lie to you at this point?"

I don't know. I guess it wouldn't make sense with how genuine Asuka's been about things until now, but still... what she said is somewhat bizarre to picture.

And kinda funny, too. In a twisted sort of sense.

"Heh, I didn't know the solution to my problems was so simple! So I only need to collapse every time some random person comes out of the sea, and all will be forgiven?"

Asuka bolts back as if pushed by some spring, piercing me with what's by far the hardest glare she's used all day.

"Don't even joke about that."

...

And that is why I don't try to be funny, most of the time. I'm terrible at it.

Good job ruining the mood, Ikari.

"...Sorry."

Asuka continues her assault for a second but seems to accept my apology, but not before putting her head back in its former position with a bit more force than strictly necessary.

I don't call her out on it. I've more than earned that one. Instead, I decide to focus on the potential positives that Asuka just brought to light, putting them to the test against the one person that I'm most worried about at the moment.

"But do you really think Yamano-san will come around? I mean, she was really angry, more furious than the others. Something about -"

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure she will."

"...And what if she doesn't?"

"Then nothing you could do will make her change her mind, and there's little point in trying to seek her forgiveness." Asuka pulls her head back in order to narrow her eye at me. "Besides, if you collapse again and end up hurting or even killing yourself out of some bullshit sense of obligation, I'll be the one that won't forgive you. And I get the feeling that Rei will be in the same boat as me."

Rei... she wanted me to be happy. She was more than ready to sacrifice herself for that goal, in fact.

I've... avoided thinking too much about her, lately. Not only because I still feel guilty about Rei being forced to stay as some sort of guardian to the souls of humanity, but also because Asuka's probably right, and I know that she wouldn't have approved of my actions, either.

...

Heh, that would've been an afternoon and a half, right there. Asuka and Rei teaming up to tear into me for being an idiot. I don't know if I'd have survived to tell that tale but...

...

At least it would've meant Rei avoiding her awful fate.

"...Sorry, Shinji, I shouldn't have brought Rei up. For what it's worth, I... miss her, too."

I shift my eyes towards Asuka and don't fail to notice her downcast expression. Sometimes I forget how well the two of them started to get along after Asuka fully recovered, although neither of them ever told me about the reason for their sudden change of heart. Whatever it was, though, it must have been big to bring them from quarrelling opposites to... friends.

Or something like that. Because Rei was still Rei and Asuka was still Asuka.

"It's fine. Don't worry, Asuka."

"And I wouldn't worry if you didn't give me reasons for it." She sighs tiredly, half-heartedly poking me in the chest. "After all, what's so hard to understand about not owing those people anything, Shinji? Least of all your life."

"I mean, it's not like any of them would be alive right now, if not for the choice you gave them. It wasn't your fault that things turned out like they did. You don't owe anyone anything."

"Not even-"

"Not even me, no," she softly cuts me off. "I told you a thousand times already, remember? It wasn't your fault that bitch wouldn't move."

...

Yeah, she has. Time and time again Asuka has made the same argument, but while she's quick to excuse me and lay the blame on Mother, I don't think the issue is nearly as black and white as she makes it sound. I mean, it's simple to say that the situation was inevitable and call it a day, but didn't Misato-san prove time and time again that there wasn't such a thing as inevitable?

There must have been something I could have done, even if the nights I've spent running scenarios and what-could-have-beens through my head haven't really provided a clear answer. Maybe if I'd gotten there faster, or if I'd tried saying something different to Mother, tried to reason with her...

"Oh, come on. You're still moping, Shinji?" I hear Asuka groan, before she props herself on her elbow and grabs hold of my shirt. "Okay, I've had enough. Time to bring out the big guns."

"Big guns...?" I stare at the hand grasping my clothes, a hint of anxiety seeping into my voice. "What do you- Whoa!"

Asuka responds by pulling me until my back isn't resting on the back of the couch anymore. She then keeps on pulling and pushing us both with her good hand until she's on top of me, straddling me, and then takes off her shirt, leaving the top of her body bare except for a bra and- and-

"You said that you wanted to help me, and I know that's true because I saw it. You're not responsible for me being like..." Asuka motions with her hands towards her chest and abdomen, and my wide eyes follow the movement to where a few scars can be plainly seen. "...this. Understand?"

"A-A-Asuka!"

She smirks at my stuttering, before grabbing hold of one of my hands and making me feel even more flustered by using it to trace the line of the longest scar on her belly.

"You still like it, so it's not even that bad, anyway." Asuka clasps my hand tightly, all signs of humour suddenly vanishing from her face. "But listen to me, Shinji, and make sure to listen damn close: I don't blame you, the world at large won't blame you, and the only thing every reasonable human out there wants you to do is for you to play your part in the reconstruction efforts. No martyrdom required, no thinking that you don't deserve a shot at a better life because of reasons out of your control. Are. We. Clear. On. That?"

I swallow as I feel Asuka punctuate her last words with her index finger, and find myself nodding soon afterwards. Both because I want to believe in what she's saying and because I'm kinda terrified of the extremes she's willing to reach to get my agreement.

It's mostly the former, though.

"Good. But since I know that you're going to be stubborn about this like only you can, anyway, I'm going to offer you a compromise moving forward." Asuka then starts to lean forward, until she's so close I can feel her breath on my face. "If for some reason you still feel guilty for what happened, if for some reason you feel that you need to somehow make it up to me, or Rei, or the world, or whatever..."

"A-Asuka! W-Wait!"

Asuka grabs the sides of my face and forces me to look at her face to face.

"...Then you can start your penitence by making me feel like the happiest woman in the world."

...

...Wait, Asuka- She... wants me to do what I've always wanted to do, since that ride back from the hot spring? Since what was our first date, looking back?

It... It can't be that easy, can it? Nothing in my life has ever been that simple, that good...

Making her happy is...

...

While my rushing thoughts pass by, I find my vision fully occupied by Asuka, by the blue of her iris and the fringe of her hair, vivid like a blazing flame. By being so close that our noses almost touch, I can feel the tense quickening of her breathing, notice the heat from the crimson blush on her face and-

...and the feeling of her heartbeat, furiously resonating in time with my own.

"Well?" Asuka insists, fishing for a response. "Think you can do that, Shin-chan?"

And she looks at me. Deeply. Expectant. Nervous.

...

...

...As if there was more than a single answer I could give to that.

And so, I kiss her.

A/N: And so, here it is. After almost 37k words and 88 total pages of Word document, Swelter comes to an end. It was a fun story to write, and although I'd personally not rate it among the best stuff I've done, I do think it came out at the very least adequate. Am I alone in believing this, or are there others out there who think the same or differently? Do let me know, for stuff like that keeps a guy writing.

As for next projects, I do have a pair of ideas that I could see myself pursuing. They're still very much in their infancy, though, so it will probably be a while before I have anything ready to show for either of them. In the meanwhile, I've been thinking that I want to do a short story with Rei in the center, for a bit of a change of pace. I'll see if I can come up with something and tie it into a Christmas thing while we're at it.

In any case, if you've gotten this far and enjoyed what you read (or didn't, that's fine too) do let me know in a short review below. A minute of your time means a lot towards validating the many hours of effort I put into this story.