I knew I was going to do a Neptunia story the second I was accepted into the Multiversers. Not only do I want at least one story that's mostly comedy in content, but the opportunities for Dex's Multidimensional harem were too good to pass up.

I should probably warn you that, as a Multiverser, Dex is likely to come off as a Gary Stu. He's OP and something of a womaniser (well, he's actually bi, but considering the lack of likeable male characters in these games, that's unlikely to come into play in this particular story). You have been warned.

I also suggest that you check out the other Multiversers: VindictiveDunc, Hero of the Multiverse, BioshockerN7, Multiverser Kronos, RealmOfEmptiness, Crazy Cakes 23, ZenithBloodedge, and Fanboy of the Multiverse. Trust me, you won't regret it, they're all awesome. That, and everything'll make a lot more sense if you read the other Multiverser stories.

Another warning: violence, strong language, and lemons abound!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA OR ANY OF THE FRANCHISES THAT MAY BE MENTIONED! HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA IS THE PROPERTY OF COMPILE HEART AND IDEA FACTORY! PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

Let's begin.

Voice Cast (how I envision characters being voiced, will mostly remain the same for canon characters)

Dexter Verser = Susan Dalian (think her voice for Haku from Naruto but with a more English accent)

Chieko = Naomie Harris (think Eve Moneypenny from Skyfall and SPECTRE, or Selena from 28 Days Later)

Neptune/Purple Heart = Melissa Fahn

Compa = Cristina Vee

Histoire = Stephanie Sheh

BGMs

[Your Lie in April] Hikaru Nara (English Cover by S.B.R.M.P.N.Y) – Sapphire (on YouTube)

Bleach OST - Comical World

Thor OST - Sons of Odin

Chapter One: When a Goddess Falls

Dexter Verser's POV

Gamindustri.

As far as fantasy worlds go, it's pretty unique. I mean, how many fantasy worlds can you think of that are meant as metaphors for the "console war" between the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Nintendo Wii? The nations of Leanbox, Lastation, and Lowee were a pretty good way of representing the whole ordeal. Then there's Planeptune, which is based on the Sega Neptune (a console of which I had never heard before playing the Neptunia games for the first time). None of these nations would be complete, however, without their goddesses; or CPUs, as they called them in this world.

I'm sure that by now you've realised I'm not exactly the usual citizen of Gamindustri. My name's Dexter Verser, nice to meet you, and while I used to be an ordinary English teenager, these days I'm a Multiverser. A being gifted with Omniscience, Omnipresence, and Omnipotence. We use these abilities to travel to worlds we once knew as fiction and make reality our bitch. Immortality had its kinks, but it was a good gig, overall.

Anyway, I decided that one of the worlds I'd be going to would be Gamindustri. It's not just for the fit as fuck CPUs, I swear … mostly.

Look, it's not my fault that James Adams and Captain Kirk have had a rather large effect on my sexual appetite!

{Y'know, since it was you who decided that literally becoming us was a good idea, it kinda is your fault} came the very Chris Pine-like voice of James Tiberius Kirk from the recesses of my mind.

I'm going to have to explain this, too, aren't I?

You see, Multiversers can actively take the place of people if they so choose. The process involves going to the moment when said person was conceived and simply replacing them with myself. They didn't cease to exist, though; instead, they become aspects of my mind, and, as such, their personalities tend to rub off on me. Case in point: the sexual appetites of some of them affect my own.

Shut the fuck up, Jim, I mentally said to the captain of the Starship Enterprise.

Anyway, are we all caught up now? Good. Explaining things has never really been my strong suit.

I wasn't going to be doing the whole replacement thing this time around. Though I'll admit, it's mostly because all of the male characters in the Neptunia games are either idiots, villains, or generally unlikeable. I generally go for the replacement option when it's available because I have a fascination with the way the mind works that borders on slightly obsessive at times. I just consider taking on someone's role a good way of seeing how their head works, is all. I haven't taken in any of the more psychotic individuals in the Multiverse yet, but there are a few that have tempted me. But for this particular world, I was going in as myself.

Due to this, I arrived shortly before the story started …

Virtua Forest, Night

I leaned against a tree as casually as I could afford, given the mobs that populated this forest. They weren't a threat in any way, sense, or form, at least to me, but they were still really fucking irritating to deal with. I was waiting for Neptune to fall from the sky. I knew that this was the night she was cast down to this forest, losing all her memories in the process, and I wanted to be there when it happened. What better way to become part of events than being there when the self-proclaimed "protagonist of protagonists" makes her dramatic entrance?

I know it may seem a bit malicious that I was intending on letting her fall from the sky and impale herself head-first into the ground, but in my defence, something that was that important to kick off the plot was something that I knew to leave alone. And hey, it's not like I was planning on leaving her there. My plan was to get her out, wait for Compa to show up, get her to Compa's house so she could be taken care of, and then take part in Neptune's efforts to gain her memories back. The fact that I was going to be interacting with four beautiful goddesses and many other attractive women was just a really nice bonus.

{A gentleman after my own heart} said Barnabas Collins.

And that's the attitude that got you turned into a vampire, I reminded him. At least when it was me doing it, Angelique only turned me into a vampire because I asked her to. Being locked underground for a hundred and ninety-six years was still boring as fuck. Good thing I still existed in other universes, huh?

It'd be best not to ask about that. My time as Barnabas in Dark Shadows was … odd, to say the least.

{It also helps that we had the company of Josette} said Barnabas.

{Yeah, but the size of that coffin made sex kinda hard} said Kirk.

Okay, shut the fuck up, all of you. When I took you guys in, it was to gain an understanding of how your minds work. I might have thought twice if I knew how bloody sex-obsessed you are!

I then blocked my mind off from hearing my mental roommates for the time being. I had grown rather attached to those guys over the years, and I appreciated their company at times, but there were also times when they made me want to try shaving my pubic hairs with a chainsaw. That wasn't a very nice feeling to have, I'm sure you can imagine, so it was nice to have a break every now and then.

"Any idea how much longer we have to wait?" asked Chieko. She was a beautiful, dark-skinned woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties. She had mid-length, wavy, azure-coloured hair, small, bright purple eyes, and a very curvy body with G-cup breasts. She wore her usual attire of a tight-fitting blue and white dress. Chieko was my weapon, a little something I picked up from my time as a Meister in the Soul Eater universe. She's also one of my many wives.

"Shouldn't be long now, love," I assured her. "It's the middle of the night. Just keep an eye out for a shooting star that's coming unusually close to the ground." I looked over at her and saw her shivering. "You cold?"

"A little."

"Come here."

She moved closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She, in turn, wrapped her arms around my chest and hummed in appreciation. I kissed her on the top of the head, never taking my eyes from the night sky. It was no small strain on my concentration to have her body pressed against me, let me tell you. The things I do for love.

"It's a bit odd to think that, right now, four goddesses are kicking the shit out of each other," I mused aloud. "You'd think something like that would shake the foundations of the world they rule over, but it's so … calm."

"At least until one of them gets propelled right to the ground," said Chieko. She looked at me with a curious look on her face. "By the way, which outcome are you hoping for?"

"The True Ending."

"Huh. You mean the one they called the True Ending but is non-canon to the rest of the series?"

"That'll be the one. I'm interested in seeing how it'll affect the world around me. Plus, out of the lot, it's the only ending which ends the Console War. I get to help redeem the bad guy and stop the war that's been going on for centuries that has basically no point to it. Sounds like a good deal to me."

Chieko chuckled. "And that's why I love you, always aiming for the best possible outcome."

"Don't get me wrong, I'll still kill Arfoire's ass if redeeming her becomes a problem. I'd just rather avoid that outcome." Something flashed in the night sky, catching my attention. "I think it's time."

"Finally."

It really did look like a shooting star from all the way down here. Except that this particular shooting star was being fired down through the atmosphere and was on a direct collision path with Virtua Forest. I watched as the light grew closer and closer, unworried, for I knew Neptune was going to survive the fall. Her being on fire from the fall really didn't surprise me, as she was being flung down all the way from Celestia itself. I watched as she got closer and closer to the ground, until …

CRASH!

Neptune slammed into the ground, somehow not making a shockwave but still forming a crater around herself, and her head embedded itself in the ground like the sword in the stone from Arthurian legend. She even stayed upright, rigid as a board.

"Masterful jump, but a little fuzzy on the landing. She may have to settle for the bronze," I said.

"I don't think that's physically possible," said Chieko, eyeing Neptune's rather bizarre state.

"Love, the normal rules of physics mean absolutely nowt here," I said. "Anyway, now we just wait for Compa." I thought about it. "Eh, sod it. I'll at the very least get her out of the ground first."

I took my arm from around Chieko's shoulders, and she released me from her hugging arms. I walked over to Neptune's rigid form and stood there awkwardly for a few moments. Where the bloody hell can I grab that won't make me look creepy? I asked myself. After a few moments of deliberation, I bent down and grabbed hold of her shoulders, then I pulled upwards. It was easy enough to accomplish with my immense strength, and soon I had Neptune laid out on the ground, still very much unconscious. That was pretty understandable, given the circumstances.

She was pretty cute. Her shoulder-length, bright purple hair that stuck out at the sides and had those two D-pad hair-clips on either side looked rather adorable. I knew that beneath those closed eyelids were a pair of dark purple eyes. She wore some kind of white, blue, and purple hoodie-dress hybrid, a silver choker around her neck, a pair of blue and white striped stockings, and a pair of exaggeratedly large purple and white shoes. I could tell from looking at her that she was an A-cup and that she was around 4'8 in height, despite physically being in her late teens.

"Kinda hard to believe that this is the goddess ruler of Planeptune," said Chieko.

"Just wait till you see her Purple Heart form," I said. "Then you'll believe it a hell of a lot more."

"… You just want to see it 'cause you think she's hot, don't you?"

"I will neither confirm or deny that accusation."

"That's a yes, then."

Now it was simply a case of waiting around for Compa to turn up. We had only arrived here recently, so I was still a little unsure of the geography of the place, otherwise, I might have started moving her toward Compa's house and simply hoped we ran into her on the way. As it stood, though, it was waiting for Compa or nothing. It helped that I was also really looking forward to meeting Compa.

We didn't have to wait long. Say what you want about Compa's ditziness and clumsiness, she certainly wasn't a slacker.

She was about 5'1 in height, so still significantly shorter than myself. Those E-cup breasts didn't escape my sight, either. Even without taking into account her obvious sex appeal, Compa was really quite beautiful. She had long, light, congo-pink hair with eyes that matched perfectly and a face that practically radiated innocent kindness. She wore a tan-white wool sleeveless top, with matching arm-warmers (which I guess are a type of sleeves, but since they weren't actually attached to the top, I don't think they count). She wore a red plaid skirt and black-brown knee socks with pink frills on her lower half. She wore a black choker with a small pink heart, a black headband, and a black hip purse, all of which carried the logo for Compile Heart, the developers of the Neptunia games.

They've got to have quite the ego if they included a character to represent their own company, I thought idly. Out loud I said, "Hello there. You couldn't help us, could you? This girl – and I know this sounds mental – fell from the sky. I can't tell, but after a fall like that, she's probably hurt. You don't have anywhere we could set her down, do you?"

"Don't worry, I saw her falling from my house," Compa said in that all too innocent voice of hers. "We can take her there." She leaned down to pick up Neptune. "My name's Compa, by the way."

"I'm Dexter," I said. I bent down, too. "Don't worry, I've got her. You just lead the way." I picked Neptune up bridal style.

"I'm Chieko," said Chieko.

"It's nice to meet you," said Compa with a smile so radiant it practically lit up the night. "It's this way." She started walking, and Chieko and I followed her. Neptune was very light, given her small size.

Things went quiet after that. It was awkward, and I really didn't like awkward silences, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. Unfortunately, the first thing that popped into my head was inspired by the personalities of my more sexually active mental roommates.

"I've gotta say, Compa, you are fit as fuck."

As you can probably imagine, that only made things more awkward.

(Play "[Your Lie in April] Hikaru Nara (English Cover by S.B.R.M.P.N.Y)" by Sapphire (on YouTube))

Opening Instrumentals

The camera sweeps over the four nations of Gamindustri: Planeptune, Lastation, Leanbox, and Lowee. The landscape is breathtaking, the very image of utopia for the people living in each.

Hyperdimension Multiverser

The scene changes to an image of Dexter Verser's smiling face.

Just like a rainbow, bright and warm

After a hazy summer storm

Flowers blooming fresh with drops of dew

Chieko, Neptune, Compa, and IF are standing together behind him with equally large smiles on their faces. Neptune throws an arm over IF's shoulder, who angrily shoves her off. Chieko and Compa laugh happily.

Watching you stare into the sky

In the crimson sunlight

That's when I fell in love with you

The scene changes to the Basilicom for Lastation. Noire is standing in her office with an irritated look on her face. Her Black Heart persona is superimposed over the top of her.

Each moment in a picture frame

I'm holding on

No single shot will ever fade

The scene changes to the Leanbox Basilicom. Vert is in her office, smiling happily as she stares, transfixed, at a computer screen. Her Green Heart persona is superimposed over the top of her.

The movie of this love

Every part deep within my soul

The scene changes to the Lowee Basilicom. Blanc is sitting her her chair, a book in her lap, smiling contentedly. Her White Heart persona is superimposed over the top of her.

The scene changes to all the characters seen so far doing battle against a large robotic creature.

You are the spark, my light in the dark

Brilliant and bold through the night

Bright as the sun, no matter what comes

We can be stars if we shine

The grinning image of Arfoire watches on as the fight continues. Behind her is another unmistakable female figure, shrouded in shadows, but with red eyes glaring out at all the females involved in the fight.

Don't ever hide those feelings inside

Whenever you're sad or you're blue

When you can't cope, don't ever lose hope

The stars shine their light over you

The scene changes to a lone woman with long, dark blue hair, red eyes with power symbols in them, plenty of curves, and bright blue armour. She grins at the camera with a determined expression on her face.

Every wish we've made has brought us here together

Till forever

Underneath the stars and the moon and the sun, we look to the future as one

The camera zooms out, revealing that the woman is accompanied by Purple Heart, Black Heart, White Heart, and Green Heart, all of them standing in a line and smiling.

The scene fades to black. The woman's red eyes linger for a moment, then vanish.

(End "[Your Lie in April] Hikaru Nara (English Cover by S.B.R.M.P.N.Y)" by Sapphire (on YouTube))

Third Person POV

Compa's House, Afternoon

Neptune's head throbbed with pain as she woke up, which wouldn't have surprised her if she knew what had happened the night before. All she could remember was the black abyss she had been in, and that strange, soft voice that had spoken to her – Histoire, didn't she say her name was? And now here she was, waking up in …

The ringing of an alarm clock rang in her ears.

"Shuuuuuut … up!" she groaned out. She raised her hand and brought it down on where she thought the offending sound was coming from. There was a strange thump noise. "Oh, shoot! Did I break something?" She opened her eyes at last and saw what she was pretty sure was the pinkest bedroom in existence. It had all the stuff you'd expect to find in a bedroom (well, maybe not the giant syringe leaning against the wall, that was a new one on her) but it was all … pink. "Wait … Where am I?"

The door of the bedroom opened and Compa walked in. "Oh, you're up," she said happily. "Good mornin', sleepy head! Well, actually, good afternoon!"

"Is she up?" Dexter's voice came through the door. He walked straight on in, knowing that everyone was decent, as they had left Neptune as he had found her. He looked to be in his twenties and stood at around 5'10. He had pale skin that was strangely smooth, like a woman's. His hair was black, mid-length, and slicked back, with a few streaks of bright blue going through it. His eyes were light blue. His ears were also slightly pointed. On his head was a wide-rimmed black Stetson and around his neck hung a piece of black cloth with white patterns that normally acted as a mask he wore over his mouth. He had a black leather trench coat, a dark brown hooded shirt underneath, a red vest under that (the buttons on the coat being undone, and the top few on the hooded shirt being undone to reveal the red vest). On his legs were a pair of black trousers, and on his feet, he wore a basic pair of brown shoes. In his opinion, he looked rather badass. His clothes hugged his not-exactly-masculine body tightly, leaving nothing to the imagination - he was slim but athletic, with a thin waist and wide hips. His legs, hugged tightly by the trousers, were incredibly pronounced, adding to the ambiguity of his gender (if not for the fact that the tightness of his clothes also left certain parts of his anatomy very visible), and his ass was round, firm, and thick. His nails were also painted black.

Neptune didn't know whether she was looking at a man or a woman.

Chieko entered the room behind him and smiled at Neptune. "Good to see she isn't dead," she said.

"Um, this isn't my room, is it?" asked Neptune in confusion. She chose to ignore the fact that Compa clearly blushed in embarrassment when Dexter (not that she knew his name at the moment) walked in. "Is it any of yours? And why am I tucked snugly in?"

"Three excellent questions," said Dexter.

"Well, it was just last night …" said Compa. "I saw a shooting star! That was you."

"I think she was more a falling star than anything," said Chieko.

"That was a short answer," Neptune said in a deadpan. "Wait … That means I fell from the sky!?"

"That you did, love," said Dexter. "Looked like you were burning up in the atmosphere and everything. Thinking on that, what the bloody hell are your clothes made of? Even if you weren't burnt, you were still on fire, something should've gotten damaged."

"Wasn't it you who said the laws of physics don't really apply here?" asked Chieko.

Dexter shrugged. "Fair enough. I was just asking."

"From what Dexter told me, you were stuck in the ground like soul-sword … only, it was you," said Compa.

"Soul-sword?" asked Neptune. "You mean Soul E***? Wasn't it the Excalibur that was stuck?"

"No, actually," said Dexter. "While that is a common misconception, the sword King Arthur pulled from the stone was actually a completely different sword from the one – known as the famous Excalibur – that he wielded later in his life." While talking, he amusedly noted that the world itself seemed to bleep out their references to copyrighted material. He wondered if he was going to have any problems with that. "The movie Quest For Camelot made the same mistake … and that was a really shitty movie."

"Huh … well, the more you know," said Neptune.

"Anywho, you were out cold, so Dexter pulled you out and carried you here to my house," said Compa.

"Ooh, you mean I got to be in the arms of a big, strong hero-type?" Neptune asked enthusiastically. "That's awesome. Like I was the fallen heroine in a tragic adventure story … Okay, it sounds less awesome when I think about it like that. Anyway, thanks a bunch … Dexter, was it?"

"Dex if you prefer," said Dexter. "Dexter Verser, at your service. But I shouldn't take all the credit. Compa gave you a look over to make sure everything was all right."

"I go to nursing school, so that's just part of my job," Compa said, blushing.

"And you continue to be a real hit with the ladies," Chieko said, grinning at Dexter. She looked at Neptune. "My name's Chieko, by the way."

"I'm Neptune! Thank you all for saving me! Hope we can all be friends!"

"Knowing him," Chieko gestured to Dexter with her head, "we'll all be a lot more than that."

"Don't go saying shit like that!" Dexter exclaimed. "You know full well that I don't do it on purpose! Don't go making me look like some kinda sexual deviant!"

"To be fair, you did flirt with me almost the second we met," Compa threw in.

"That silence was awkward and I could think of nowt else to say!" He quickly realised his mistake and made to remedy it. "Not that you're not attractive, Compa, 'cause you really are. I'm just sorry for making you uncomfortable at all."

"There's no need to apologise. Yes, it was embarrassing, but it was flattering, too." Compa said all of this with a fluorescent blush on her face, but she wasn't having trouble speaking like she was earlier, so Dexter took that as a good sign.

{You're well in there, mate} said James Adams.

Shut your gob, Dexter thought to him.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Nept— Nepee— Nepta— Nepel … Neput …" Compa said, struggling to pronounce Neptune's name. It was rather humorous to watch, but nobody was mean enough to say so out loud.

"Neptuna, Nep-Nep, Nepper, it doesn't matter," Neptune said nonchalantly. "You can call me anything!"

"Okay, then!" said Compa. "How about Nep-Nep? It's nice to meet you, Nep-Nep!"

"I'll just stick with Nep," said Dexter.

"And I'll call her Neptune, because I don't struggle to pronounce it, and nor am I lazy," said Chieko.

"I'm not lazy!" Dexter snapped at her, whereas Compa blushed in embarrassment and said nothing in her defence. "I save energy by refusing to partake in unnecessary activities!"

"I noticed you're all bruised," Compa said to Neptune. "Allow me to take a quick look."

"Yeah, I am kinda scraped up, huh?" said Neptune. "Strange, I feel like I got sandbagged … Ah, but I'm only scraped, so it must be my imagination!"

Actually, three goddesses just kicked the hell out of you after being lied to by a megalomaniac with giant tits who wants to take over Gamindustri and kill you and the other CPUs, Dexter was very tempted to say but held his tongue. It was sometimes remarkably tempting to say things like that, but it was best if he didn't let on that he knew a lot more than he should. He didn't think he'd have a problem revealing what he is to the people he would end up adventuring with, considering that four (more, after awhile) of them were literal goddesses, but it was best not to go into that sort of thing too early.

"Okay, so let's first get those clothes off you," Compa said to Neptune.

"And that's our cue to leave," said Chieko, grabbing Dexter's hand and pulling him out of the room. Dexter went willingly enough, but he had to fight several of his mental roommates for control of his legs, as a lot of them were eager to stay and watch. Dexter would have none of it. He and Chieko left the room and left Compa to tend to Neptune.

Dexter Verser's POV

After I successfully managed to fight off my mental roommates and leave the room – with Chieko's help – I felt a lot better, even though I had several disgruntled perverts groaning in disappointment in my head. Shut the hell up, you twats, I told them. I like taking in mental roommates, it has a lot of relevance to my interest in the workings of the mind, but with that being said, I occasionally had reason to regret taking in certain individuals. This was one of those moments.

"Okay!" Nep's overly chipper voice, slightly muffled, came through the closed door. "Taking my clothes off …"

The mental image that invoked wasn't unpleasant, but I still felt bad for picturing it.

"She's awfully calm about getting undressed in front of another person," said Chieko.

"Give it a mo'," I said.

"Wait!" Nep exclaimed. "Why do I have to go nude!? I don't need to make myself more powerful!"

"… This girl's just a walking reference, isn't she?" Chieko asked me.

"Reference and walking fourth wall break," I said. "There's a reason I told you Deadpool would be right at home here."

"Sorry I ever doubted it."

"I can't bandage you with your clothes on," said Compa. "No need to be shy now."

"Well, I get that, but …" Something about Nep's shy voice just sounded so … wrong. She was one of the most hyperactive protagonists I'd ever seen in a game, and hearing her sound in any way insecure just wasn't right.

"Okay, here comes the wrap," said Compa. I could hear the shuffling of the bandages. "This way … that way … loop it over …"

(Play "Bleach OST - Comical World")

"Nrrgh!" Nep grunted in distress. "H-Hold on! Can you make it a bit loose? It's getting tigh—"

"You don't want it loose or you'll trip! Just be patient now."

"Urgh! I can't … breath. My back! Ahhhh—! Ah …"

"Nep-Nep? Are you okay!? Please, come back! Nep-Nep? Nep-Nep!?"

Struggling not to laugh at the situation, I knocked on the door of the room. "Is she covered up enough that it's safe for one of us to help out?" I asked through the door. "Sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle."

"Yes, please!" Compa called out. "I put the bandages on too tight! She's not breathing! Ooh, why do they only ever let us practice on dummies …? She might need CPR!"

{DO IT!} the vast majority of my mental roommates shouted at me. {Just do it!}

Okay, you Shia Labeouf wannabes, keep your knickers on, I told them irritably. I pushed the door open and walked into the room, and the sight that greeted me made me stand at attention (in every way possible). Nep was basically naked, with the only thing covering her modesty being the bandages that Compa had wrapped so tightly around her, leaving nothing to the imagination. This sort of thing may have been mindless fan service in the game, but in real life, it was a lot more effective at its job. A quick whack to the back of the head by Chieko got me to focus on the matter at hand, and while most people would have complained, I nodded my thanks to her.

"All right, what do you need us to do?" I asked Compa as I walked over to the bed, where Nep was very much unconscious.

"She's not breathing," Compa informed us again. "I'm going to loosen up the bandages a little, but I need one of you to perform CPR. Do either of you know how to do that?"

"Yes," I said, before really even thinking about it. I briefly reflected on how new this situation was. In the game, it just kind of cut to Nep being awake again after Compa had resuscitated her. Still, I wasn't complaining.

Chieko snorted laughter. "Spoke up pretty quickly there, didn't you?"

"I don't care for what you're implying. Anyway, we should hurry." I bent down over Nep, placing my face in front of hers. I took a deep breath, overlapped my lips over Nep's, and blew air into her. I took a moment to notice how soft her lips were. I separated from her, put my hands over each other on her chest, and pressed down three times. Then I repeated the process. It took three repeats of this before she started breathing again. Crisis averted, I thought in relief. I couldn't help but find this odd, though. Maybe it was just because they skipped over all this in the game? Yeah, that was probably it. The game just skipped from her going unconscious to her waking up again.

(End "Bleach OST - Comical World")

"Th-That was close …" Nep said after she had finally regained her breath. "I was just an inch away from entering the light … Hey, was someone kissing me?"

"I had to do CPR whilst Compa loosened the bandages," I admitted instantly. "I swear that there were no ill intentions." On my part, anyway, I added mentally. I really was only trying to help out; my mental roommates, on the other hand, were being a bunch of dirty fuckers.

"Wow …" Nep was blushing bright red. "I don't know whether to feel violated or giggle like a school girl who got kissed by the local hottie."

"… I really don't know how to take that, so I think we'd best move on."

"Good idea," said Chieko. "I'm sure Compa's eager to try and kill Neptune again."

"Oh, it wasn't that bad …" Compa said, pouting. "I only made the wrap a wee bit tight."

"Really?" asked Nep, incredulous. "I was wrapped tighter than some huge, fighting mummy …"

"So, um, why did Nep-Nep come from the sky and get stuck into the ground?" asked Compa.

"I … don't know … I don't remember anything before coming here …"

"I can't say I'm surprised," said Chieko. "Impaling oneself face-first into the ground is bound to cause a few brain injuries. Actually, that'd explain a lot."

I creased a little in laughter.

"Hey!" Nep snapped. "Stop making fun of me!"

"Nep-Nep," said Compa, "maybe you're suffering from amnesia."

"Really? Well, I guess so."

"I'd like to help, but I don't have anything to cure amnesia …"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Compa. No need to get yourself down over it."

"But …"

"Compa, you've done a bloody good job so far," I said. "You're clearly a very gifted nurse. Don't beat yourself up because you can't cure something I'm pretty sure nobody has found a definite cure for yet." I made a mental note to ask one of the other Multiversers if any of us has come up with an actual cure for amnesia. Considering all the science done on Terra Infinitas, it really wouldn't surprise me.

Compa blushed a little and nodded.

"I'm hungry," Nep said suddenly. "Do you have any food I could eat?"

"Food?" Compa thought about it. "Well, I don't have much, but how about some pudding?"

I started to get excited. The pudding Compa made was quite the admired thing in the games, and I was looking forward to trying it and seeing if the taste lived up to what was built up in the games. I didn't think it'd compare to the eternal godliness that is pizza, mind you, but I never expected anything to be quite that good.

"Pudding?" Nep asked. "Um, what's a pudding?"

"Well, where I'm from, it's just our word for 'dessert,'" I said. "Then there's black pudding, which is basically just curdled pigs' blood … not so sure why that's so popular back home, but hey ho."

"I think you should be quiet," Chieko told me.

"Me? Be quiet?" I asked, looking at her like she'd gone mad. "What madness are you suggesting, woman?"

"You seem to forget that I have one of the greatest powers that a woman can have over a man." She got closer to me so that she could whisper the next part. "I have the power to deny you sex."

I shut up.

"Anyway," Compa said awkwardly now that the exchange had ended. "You don't know what pudding is, Nep-Nep?"

"Nope, never heard of it," said Nep. "Does it taste good?"

"Just a minute. Let me bring one …" She turned to us. "Would you two like some, too?"

"Yes, please," said Chieko.

I simply nodded. Chieko's threat had successfully rendered me silent.

In mere moments, Compa had left the room and returned with three bowls of yellow, slightly cake-looking stuff. I think it might have been custard-based, but as one who had only ever known pudding as another word for dessert, I wasn't a hundred percent sure of the accuracy of my thoughts. Either way, it certainly looked appetising.

"Hmm …" Nep hummed. "So this yellow thing is a pudding?" She poked it with the spoon provided and it shook a little. "Whoa! It wiggles when you poke it!"

"Nep-Nep … did you lose memory of food, too?" Compa asked in concern.

"That would've been absolutely tragic," I said. "I mean, imagine not knowing what pizza is …" I shuddered just thinking about it. "That would be a dark, dark world indeed …"

"You lot and your pizza obsession …" Chieko muttered under her breath. I simply grinned.

"… I remember 'cake' and stuff, so I guess I really don't know what this is," said Nep. "Well, here I go!" She chomped down on the pudding she had on her spoon.

Deciding it was time to see if this stuff was anywhere near as good as the people in-game seemed to think it was, I picked up some on my own spoon and took a bite. I was instantly blown away. The flavour, the texture, the consistency … Compa really was one hell of a cook! This pudding was absolutely delicious! (Though, as expected, it didn't nearly match up to pizza. PRAISE BE UNTO THE ITALIAN WHO CREATED SUCH GLORIOUSNESS!)

"Compa," I said after swallowing the pudding. "I may just have to take you home to live with me if it means getting more of this stuff. This pudding is amazing."

"He's not wrong," said Chieko. Her bowl was completely empty already. As dignified as she liked people to think she was, the woman could eat like a hoover when it came to sweets. "This is some of the best pudding I've ever had." She quickly covered her mouth to keep a small belch from slipping out. She flushed with embarrassment. "Pardon me."

"The tantalising sweetness melts away on my tongue!" Nep exclaimed with delight, having swallowed a spoonful of the stuff. "This is the best!"

"Really …?" Compa asked us all with a sweet smile and a happy flush.

"Really!" Nep said. "This has got to have been made by the finest chef in the world! Where can I get more?"

"Actually, Dex and Chieko are right. I made it myself."

"Amazing … Compa, you are a genius …"

"Oh, stop teasing me, you guys!" Despite her protests, the look on Compa's face was one of pure happiness. "Wait a minute. Let me get more!"

"You should stop making offers like that, Compa, or else we're gonna end up eating you out of house and home," I said. "Then I really will have to take you home with me! And believe me, that's not something I'd mind very much!"

That was the second time I managed to turn Compa's face a healthy shade of red. She left the room to get more pudding.

"You're some kinda classy ladies' man, aren't ya?" Nep asked me with a grin.

"And a man's man sometimes," Chieko threw in.

"It's not like I actively set out to do it!" I protested weakly. "I guess it's just … in my nature or some shit like that."

"Uh huh, sure thing, buddy," said Nep, patting me on the back.

"Don't get cheeky with me, you strangely adorable troll!"

"Hey, you'd know if I was trying to troll you. Believe me."

Chieko just stood there laughing at us. It wasn't long before Compa got back with more pudding, bringing one for herself this time, and we started chatting over our food again. It was nice.

"Your homemade pudding was a blast, Compa!" said Nep once we'd eaten everything Compa had brought up. She, of course, had scoffed most of it down herself. There was something rather adorable about the content smile on her face.

"I feel kinda bloated now," I said. "But I just couldn't stop eating … Damn, Compa, that stuff was good."

"Compliments to the chef," said Chieko.

"I'm happy you all liked it," Compa said, positively beaming. "By the way, what are you going to do now, Nep-Nep?"

"Well," said Nep, "I want to know what happened, so I'll go back to where I was found."

"Shouldn't be too difficult," I said. "Just have to track down the little hole with the shape of your face in it. Chieko and I should be able to get you there fine." I glanced at Compa. I needed her with us for any of this to go as it did in the games. "You wanna come along, Compa? This has all been very interesting so far, I wouldn't want you to miss any of the details."

"I'd be a pretty bad nurse if I didn't stick by my patient until she's better," said Compa. "Of course I'll come with you."

"Quite the merry band of adventurers we've got here," said Chieko.

"Yeah, the Fellowship of the Massive Fuck-Off Syringe," I said, eyeing Compa's weapon of choice as it leaned against the wall. "Compa, out of curiosity, do you ever use that thing to deliver a normal injection? 'Cause that shit looks like it'd hurt."

"No, silly," said Compa, laughing a little. "That's just in case I have to fight off any monsters when I'm out."

That was good to know.

Planeptune, Afternoon

I could tell why they called it "the land of purple progress" the second I laid eyes on it. All of the buildings were pristine and white like they had all been built a mere day before. It was very much akin to one of those utopia-like cities you get in some science fiction works. The sun shone off the place so brightly that it was nearly blinding. In short: the place was beautiful.

It was actually kind of hard to think that Nep ruled over this place …

"Wow!" Nep exclaimed, looking around with stars in her eyes. "This place is huge! So, guys, what's this city called?"

"This is Planeptune," said Compa. "It's a city that Lady Purple Heart presides over."

"She's clearly done a bloody good job," I said, marvelling slightly at the place. I'd seen a lot of futuristic cities, but none quite this pristine. "This place is amazing."

Nep's face went slightly red. "Why do I feel so flattered all of a sudden …?" she thought aloud. She shook her head. "Why does the name Planeptune sound so familiar …?"

"It sounds like your name, Nep-Nep," said Compa.

"Except Compa can pronounce it," said Chieko.

"Oh, don't be mean, Chieko," I scolded her lightly, a good-hearted smile on my face. I paused for a moment. "Though … there's a good point. Compa, how is it you can pronounce 'Planeptune' but not 'Neptune'?"

Compa gave a small shrug. "I don't know. Planeptune comes to me just fine, but saying Nep-Nep's real name is hard for some reason."

"So, where are we going again?" asked Nep. "Should I bring something with me?"

"We're heading into Virtua Forest," I told her. "It'd probably be best to bring some kind of weapon, though there's no need for anything too drastic. The monsters that inhabit that forest are about as weak as monsters can get."

Nep hummed. "Wait a sec …" She walked over to a nearby bin and practically jumped into it face-first. From where I was standing, I could see her white and light blue striped panties. I could feel my face heat up and I wanted to avert my gaze, but I found that I couldn't. The view was rather nice …

"Nep-Nep, what are you doing rummaging through the garbage?" asked Compa.

"Impersonating a trash panda," I said in a deadpan.

"Trying to flash Dexter," said Chieko.

"I think, given the position, she'd be more likely trying to flash all three of us."

"Look what I found, guys!" Nep said once she'd done rummaging through the bin. She was waving a shaped stick in the air energetically. "A sword! Well, it's made of wood, but hey, it's a sword!"

"I see that," said Compa, "but what are you going to use that for, Nep-Nep?"

"Um … LARPing?"

"The only LARPing Dexter does is in the bedro—"

"And that's enough of that!" I said, cutting off Chieko with no remorse. I had been here for about a day at most, there was no way I was going to have Chieko spouting things off about my sex life to these people. "Anyway, Nep, that should be more than enough to handle the piss-easy job we're doing. Now that everyone's ready, let's get moving."

"What about you and Chieko?" asked Compa. "How are you planning to fight if we run into any monsters?"

Chieko and I both grinned at her. "Wait and see," we said together.

Virtua Forest, Afternoon

"So," said Nep, "I guess this is where I was elegantly lodged into the ground, right?"

"'Elegant' is one way to put it …" I muttered, then cleared my throat. "Sticking out of the ground like some kind of fleshy totem pole is another way. Anyway, no, not quite. You were a little farther in."

"But there are monsters all over the place now," Compa pointed out.

"Monsters?" Nep tilted her head. "You mean that blue, dog-like, jelly thingy over there?"

True to her words, there was a very bizarre-looking monster nearby that hadn't spotted us yet. It looked a lot like a big, dark blue dog head made of some sort of jelly. They were called Dogoos if I remember correctly.

"They certainly weren't here last night," said Chieko.

"No," I agreed. "I'd've remembered having to partake in a little pest control."

"Um, this world has monsters all over the place like any RPG, right?" said Nep.

"Not really," said Compa. "They just popped out of nowhere over the last few years."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," said Chieko, "but isn't that normally some kind of indicator of the end times?"

"Apocalypse via big, bouncing dog heads," I mused. "I think if that's enough to destroy the world, then the entire species is probably too stupid to live, anyway."

"Enough of all the talk!" Nep exclaimed suddenly. "Now let's go on and get some XP while we're at it!"

"Nep-Nep, what's the matter?" asked Compa. "You seem excited."

"Well, I'm the heroine, right?" said Nep. "So I gotta beat up some monsters, I figured."

"I guess so, but … can you really fight?"

"I have my trusty sword (wood) and skills with me. It'll be a piece of cake!"

"And like that you've doomed us all," I said.

"Um, let me get this out …" Compa pulled that giant needle of hers out of what I can only assume was Hammerspace, as she definitely hadn't had that with her up until this point. The sheer size of it made me gulp a little, remembering all those injections I'd had when I was a human.

"Wha—!?" Nep's eyes were wide and startled. "Compa, what's with that huge syringe!? Wait! Where'd that come from!?"

"I already said back at the house that I use it to fight," said Compa. "Where it came from? Well, that's a Compa secret …"

"Um, my imagination of where it came from can't explain the 'how' …"

"Tell me about it …" I said, only to receive a hit to the back of the head from Chieko.

"Mind out of the gutter, Dexter," she scolded me. "We're here for a reason, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it …"

"You do know how cliché it is to carry a huge weapon, right?" Nep asked Compa. "If you were a man, I'd accuse you of trying to compensate for something!"

"That's nitty-gritty info," said Compa. "Let's just beat the nasties and go on."

We started walking in the direction of the place where Nep crash-landed the night before, which also happened to be in the direction of the Dogoo. Ain't that convenient? I thought sarcastically.

"Nraaah …"

"Okay, that is officially the most un-dog-like noise I've ever heard come out of something that looks like a dog," I said.

"It sounds more like a dog dying than it does an actual dog," said Chieko.

"Yay!" Nep exclaimed. "My first monster! Hey, guys, I just need to beat him up, right?"

"Yes," said Compa. "The Dogoos are cute, but they are bad monsters, so we can beat them up."

"Okay then! Let's get this battle tutorial over with!"

As luck would have it, another Dogoo rocked up to the scene. Admittedly, they were kind of cute, but they were also really weird. The fact that they tried to kill any humans they came across really made fighting them a lot easier.

Compa went first, surprisingly, thrusting at one of them with her gigantic syringe. It didn't kill it, but the whimpering sound that it made told me that that fucking hurt. Fortunately for the Dogoo, Nep wasn't far behind with her wooden sword, and with a few swings, she had beaten the thing to death (which caused it to vanish into thin air in typical video game fashion).

I set my sights on the second Dogoo and grinned. I held out my hand for Chieko to take it, which she did. Then, in a few short seconds, I was holding a double-ended sword with a black hilt and two azure-coloured blades. It was somewhat like the lightsaber of Darth Maul, except an actual sword. I gripped the hilt with both hands and swung one of the two blades at the remaining Dogoo. The sword cut across its face, causing it to whimper. It tried to bash me, but I jumped backwards. I then swung with the other blade, cutting the Dogoo again and causing it to vanish.

"Whoo!" Nep cheered. "Nice one, Dexy!"

"Thank you," I said. Then a pause. "… 'Dexy'?"

Nep shrugged. "Seemed as good a nickname as any."

"Dex, where's Chieko?" asked Compa.

[Right here] the voice of Chieko resounded from my sword. Nep and Compa jumped, wide-eyed and startled. Chieko chuckled. [It's always fun to see people's faces when they hear me talk like this.]

"On that, I agree wholeheartedly," I said.

"Wait, wait, wait," said Nep, her face covered with both awe and confusion. "So … Chieko's a sword?"

"Yep," I said.

"That's awesome!"

[Isn't it?]

Compa looked so dumbfounded that I actually started to feel a bit sorry for her. "Don't gimme that face, Compa," I said. "The physics here are about as consistent as pigeon shit on Trafalgar Square. Is this really the most perplexing thing you've ever seen?"

"… I guess not," she conceded. She paused for a moment. "… What's Trafalgar Square?"

"Never mind, it doesn't matter."

[So, Neptune, how was the fighting?] asked Chieko. [Has that head injury gotten in the way of your fighting ability?]

"Oh, ha-ha," Nep said sarcastically. "And nope, I've got this shit down! A little practice, and I'll be an expert!"

"Well, there's a lot more where those Dogoos came from," said Compa, "so we can train a bit more."

"Sounds like a plan!"

{Why does Neptune's enthusiasm for battle make me think she's going to turn out a psychopath?} Chieko asked me through a mental link.

Hey, she could've turned out worse, I thought back. She could've ended up like Plutia and Iris Heart.

{… Good point.}

Moving on, we encountered another two Dogoos, one of which Compa dispatched of with a surprising brutality. She impaled it on her giant syringe and then yanked upwards, allowing the needle to rip its way through the Dogoo and out through the top of its head, leaving a massive gash there for the split second before it vanished into thin air.

So surprised was I by the brutality of that act that I barely even registered Nep beating the other one to death with her wooden sword.

"Holy shit, Compa!" I said, wide-eyed. I had seen more brutal things before, but never from a character who radiated as much innocence as Compa did. "Bloody hell, where did that come from?"

"What?" she asked in confusion. "I did it quickly. That Dogoo barely felt a thing."

"You're probably right, but fuck, that was brutal."

I'm not going to bore you by telling you of every random encounter we had with a Dogoo or two, but I won't skip all the fighting completely. Especially considering the fact that the next monster we encountered had the slightly disturbing appearance of a big orange flower with arms and legs growing from its stem. These were called Tulips if I remember correctly. They looked slightly adorable in the game, but there was something rather discomforting about them in real life.

Nep and Compa took on the Dogoos. I slashed at the Tulip with Chieko but the creepy bastard ducked out of the way. It kicked at me with the legs on the bottom of its stem, but I barely felt a thing. I swung Chieko downward, and this time the Tulip wasn't able to dodge. I cut it right down the middle, and if it hadn't immediately vanished, I'm convinced it would've fallen to the floor in two thin halves.

Making our way through the forest was basically idle chatter intermixed with the occasional fight with either Dogoos, Tulips, or both at the same time. Neither of those monsters posed a threat to us, so it was actually rather boring.

"Well, this is it," I said when we reached the area Nep had landed the night before. I pointed at the relatively small hole in the ground. "That's where your pretty little head was lodged."

"Wow … this is a huge hole right here …" said Nep.

Oh yeah, we were standing in the crater she'd made with her landing. I had almost forgotten about that in favour of focusing on her breaking all the laws of physics.

"Nep-Nep, does this make you remember anything?" asked Compa.

Nep hummed in thought.

"Um, Nep-Nep?"

Nep continued to hum, much more aggressively. She was clearly racking her brain as far as it could go. "Ah—!" she said, clearly frustrated. "I can't remember a thing! Dexy, are you sure I was stuck here?"

"Unless there's another girl who fell from the sky and got stuck in the ground, standing like a post, then yeah, I'm pretty sure this is where you landed," I said.

"Like a shooting star, cutting through the night, right?"

"If shooting starts were physically able to fall to the ground, yeah."

"There could be a clue somewhere around here," said Compa. "Nep-Nep, did you lose anything by chance? Maybe an ID or anything?"

[Because asking the girl with amnesia if she's lost anything makes so much sense] said Chieko.

"Yeah, that was kind of a stupid question, Comp— wait!" Nep's eyes widened dramatically. "I do remember something I'm missing!"

"Really!?" Compa exclaimed, overjoyed. "What is it?"

"Well, that's obvious …"

"Obvious …?"

"My memory!"

I burst out laughing without being able to stop myself. To meet a girl who was able to encompass this level of sarcasm was truly a gift from the Multiverse. Nep seemed rather pleased that I was laughing, but then looked at Compa in confusion. Compa wasn't laughing.

"Um …" Nep said awkwardly. "Wasn't that … funny …?"

"I don't think now is the time to be fooling around …" said Compa.

"Wait, what!? I thought you were joking when you asked me if I remembered!"

"Joking aside, let's look for some clues."

"Never put joking aside," I said. "If you're too serious, you'll start seeing things that aren't there. Like how Simon Pegg's character in Hot Fuzz took his job so seriously that he started seeing murders everywhere … He turned out to be right, of course, but that's hardly relevant."

[You know they've never seen any of these movies you keep mentioning, right?] said Chieko.

"I'll show them to 'em eventually," I said. "Now, then, should we get to wo—"

I was interrupted by a crumbling sound.

Oh, I thought. Right … that's about to happen …

"What's that sound?" asked Compa.

"I have a bad feeling about this …" said Nep.

"Okay, Little Miss Star Wars," I muttered.

Then the ground completely gave out beneath us, sending us tumbling into the darkness of the caverns below the forest. Nep and Compa screamed. I stayed calm.

Third Person POV

"Ouch …" Neptune said once they'd landed. "I didn't expect that. They really changed the story with this remake …"

While Dexter had already suspected so from the moment he'd entered the world, it was nice to have actual confirmation that these were the events of Re;Birth1. Anyway, that meant he knew what was coming next, and so he pretended to be unconscious. There was no actual danger for either Neptune or Compa, and if he started fighting the Guard Vermin when it showed up, Neptune likely wouldn't regain her CPU form, which might fuck up the plot somewhat. So Dexter remained face-down in the dirt (not a pleasant experience).

"Wait a minute …" Neptune looked at Dexter, then darted her eyes around worriedly. "There's Dexy … but where's Compa? Compa—! Where are you? Are you all right!?"

Compa stood up from the dirt a little way away. "Y-Yessy …" she said, slightly weakly. "I think I'm okay."

"Whew … It would've been a disaster if you lost your memory, too." She bent down and laid a hand on Dexter's shoulder, shaking him in an attempt to wake him up. He didn't budge (he was a very good faker). "Wow, Dexy's really out of it … and I think Chieko is, too … Wait, can swords get knocked out?"

Chieko laughed through her mental link with Dexter. Dexter himself was having trouble not cracking up.

"Where are we, anyway?" asked Neptune.

"I think we're beneath the forest …" said Compa. "This place feels a bit weird …"

"Yeah, I'm getting bad vibes from this place …" Neptune saw something shining in the corner of her eye. It was a thin piece of metal with a hole in the centre: some kind of disc. "What's this? Compa, can you take a look? Do you know what it is?"

"I don't know … I've never seen something like this before."

"I know! It must be a medal to change into items with a king somewhere!" A very loud growl suddenly resounded out through the dark cavern they were in. "What!? Where's that event-flag-inducing growl coming from!?"

Compa heard movement a little way away from them, looked, and saw the Guard Vermin. "Nep-Nep! There's a huge monster over there …" Suddenly, one of its many appendages came out and snatched Compa to it. "Yikes! Please, help me …!"

The Guard Vermin was an ugly-looking, brown spider-like creature with a protrusion at the front that seemed humanoid, but only in the vaguest sense. In one of its hands, it held a sword that would've been out of proportion on any human – and was out of proportion for the part of the Guard Vermin's body holding it – but was relatively well-sized to the spider-like part of the Guard Vermin's body.

"Oh no, Compa! She's being censored and censored!" Neptune cried in a panic.

"I'm not being censored! I'm just off-screen, Nep-Nep!"

"Oh, you know, fan service. Well, time to get a bit more serious now. Don't worry, I'll save you! Taaaake this!"

[Neptune's attack]

Neptune hit the Guard Vermin three times with her wooden sword, only to be knocked back by one of its many legs.

[No effect]

"What the!?" Neptune exclaimed. She ran back over to Dexter and started shaking him, to no avail. Dexter started feeling like something of a wanker at this stage, but again, he knew there was no actual danger, and that the Guard Vermin would simply wait in the typical cliché manner until Neptune was ready to fight it. "Wait … who just commented on my attack?"

[I am sorry] said the soft voice. [I didn't want to surprise you, but I couldn't stop myself.]

"Hm? I've heard that voice before … Have we met?"

[I am Histoire. I thought I explained this when I was in your dream, Neptune.]

"Oh yeah! Ms Heavenly Voice from my dream! Wait … That was real?"

"Um, Nep-Nep?" called Compa from the grasp of the strangely inactive Guard Vermin. "A little help here, pretty please?"

"Oh, right! I need to help Compa! Ms Heavenly Voice, can you help?"

[No, but if you use your Hard Drive Divinity, things should be okay.]

"Hard Drive-what? I lost my memory, so do you mind taking it step-by-step?"

[I see … That explains why the conversation was all over the place last time …]

"Um … If I use that Hard Drive-thingy, I can save Compa, right?"

[Well, yes, but now I'm not sure you can use your Hard Drive Divinity …]

"Well, I'll go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb! So, please … lend me a hand. I want to save my friend, Compa!"

[… I will force run Hard Drive Divinity from you. Are you ready?]

"Ready and willing!"

[Neptune, may your power arise—]

There was a blinding flash of light that filled the cavern with white. Even Dexter could see it, and he had kept his eyes closed.

… and Neptune still had a hand on his shoulder.

When the light came, Dexter could feel all the power flowing from Neptune. It took all of his willpower not to open his eyes and look upon her. He could feel her power as a goddess, as a CPU, through the hand she laid on his shoulder … and a burning sensation behind his eyes that he could not explain. For a moment, Dexter felt a spark within him, then it died down. He brushed it off, thinking he'd imagined it.

(Play "Thor OST - Sons of Odin)

When the light died down, Neptune was gone and Purple Heart was kneeling in her place. Purple Heart stood at 5'4. She had long, deep purple hair that was tied in twin-tails that almost reached her feet. Her eyes were bright blue and had pupils with the appearance of power signs. She wore black hair-clips with glowing blue D-pad shapes on them. The black bodysuit she wore showed off her E-cup breasts. There was a white D-pad on either of the bodysuit's shoulders. Both the arms and the bottom-front of the bodysuit had purple areas; there was also a purple stripe along her breasts. On her legs was a pair of long black boots with purple tips. She had four large triangular shapes protruding from her back, all of them purple and strongly resembling strange wings. She had a katana.

"You're glowing!" Compa exclaimed.

"Is this … really me!?" Purple Heart asked herself.

[Yes, this is your true form, Neptune] said Histoire.

"Nep-Nep! Wow! You transformed!"

"The power … It's flowing from within … There's no way I can lose with this!"

It was at around this point that Dexter thought it safe to let them know he was awake. He made a groaning sound and made a show of rubbing his head as he sat up. It wasn't that he wanted to keep his nature as a Multiverser a secret from them, it was quite simply the fact that he wanted to have all the major players in this story together when he revealed himself. Telling the story several times relatively close together was just a massive pain in the ass.

"You took your time waking up," said Purple Heart. Her face was serious and her voice was mature, very much unlike Neptune. "You just sit there and recover. I'll take care of this."

"Right-o," Dexter said without complaint. He was looking forward to watching this.

The Guard Vermin, possibly sensing that it had a problem on its hands, tossed Compa aside. She rolled a little and made a few sounds of the startled sort, but otherwise, she seemed fine. Just in case, however, Dexter worked his way over to her, as she hadn't landed too far away, and touched her on the shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. It was the truth.

"Good." Dexter smiled. It was a smile that defined every handsome feature of his face. "I'd hate to see one of my new friends hurt."

Compa blushed. "What about you? Are you okay? You were out for a little while."

"I feel well enough. Now, let's watch this unfold. I think Nep's about to kick some ass."

Purple Heart darted toward the Guard Vermin, not even giving it a chance to swing its sword, and slashed at it with her katana. She hit it once, twice, three times, each hit making it cringe away from her. On the fourth hit, she slashed upward, sending the Guard Vermin into the air, and then she hit it again, this time in a downward stroke, sending it plummeting back to the ground with a mighty thud.

Once it had recovered, the Guard Vermin took a swing at her with its sword. Purple Heart darted out of the way, swung her katana in a sideways motion, and cleaved the thing across the chest. It fell to the ground, unmoving.

(End "Thor OST - Sons of Odin")

"Well, that should do it …" said Purple Heart.

"That was super, Nep-Nep!" said Compa. "You beat that monster in a flash!"

"Nep, I'm liking this transformation," said Dexter. "Not only was the way you decimated that thing utterly awesome, but you are," he glanced up and down her body, "just wow."

[You deny being a pervert, then you and do things like this] said Chieko. She was still in sword form, but every one of them could imagine her shaking her head at him. [As much as I know you hate the idea, you need to face facts, Dex – you have a problem.]

"… I'll take that into consideration."

The flash of white light filled the room again, and Neptune was back. "Whew …" she said. "That was tiring …"

[Well done, Neptune] said Histoire. [And Compa, are you okay?]

"Yessy!" said Compa. "I'm okay! And it's all thanks to Nep-Nep!" Her eyes narrowed slightly. "… Hmm? Um, Nep-Nep? Whose voice is this and where is it coming from?"

"It's Ms Heavenly Voice, AKA Histoir …" Neptune paused. "What was it again?"

[Histoire. You were only off by one letter …]

"That's right, Histy-Histy!"

[You can call me Histy. Now, nice to meet you, Compa, Dexter, Chieko. I am Histoire.]

"Hi, Hiss," said Dexter.

[Nice to meet you, Histoire] said Chieko.

"Can I call you Histy, too?" asked Compa. "It's nice to meet … um, hear you, Histy."

[Um, Compa …?] said Histoire.

Then another growl sounded throughout the cavern.

"It's aliiiiive!" cried Neptune and Compa.

"Run, Compa!" yelled Neptune.

"Y-Yes!" said Compa.

"Don't worry about it," said Dexter. He walked forward with a confident smile on his face. "I may have been out of it before, but I'm up now, and I'm about to kill a motherfucker."

The Guard Vermin roared at him as he approached. It swung its sword at him, but he ducked it. He swung one of Chieko's blades at one of the thing's many legs, cleaving it off with no worry. Blood spewed from the Guard Vermin's wound and it roared in pain. Taking advantage of its pain-addled state, Dexter drove the tip of one of Chieko's blades into the Guard Vermin's chest and forcibly pulled upwards, mimicking Compa's actions on the Dogoo from earlier.

The Guard Vermin's roars of pain stopped immediately and it vanished from the world.

"You know, Compa," said Dexter. "I think you were onto something. That just made things go so much quicker than they would have, otherwise."

Over 11,000 words … How's that for a first chapter, eh? I had considered making the first chapter of this story consist of the entire first chapter of the game, but that would've made it way too long for the first chapter of a story, so I went with doing half of it instead. What do you guys think?

I understand that there aren't really any thrilling action sequences in this first chapter, but let's be fair here, the enemies early on in the game are fucking pathetic. Even that Guard Vermin, which was meant to be so intimidating, can be killed in mere seconds. Dexter is a Multiverser, he basically has the powers of a god, this isn't SHIT to him. Don't worry, though, things'll be getting more exciting as the story goes on. I have something VERY special in mind for the events of Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2.

That's it for the first chapter of my first Multiverser story. I hope you all enjoyed! I'll see you next time!