Chapter 2 - First Session

"Ok, now repeat after me: You look very what today?"

"You look like a worthless meatbag taday."

"Uh, no. Try gain. Nice what we're having?"

"Nice acid and blood rain we're having."

"Nope. One more. Excuse me, can you what direct me to the hot dog stand?"

"You will direct me to the hot dog stand, or else I'll send your soul to an eternity of burning!"

"Ugh, no, Bill. No." Mabel was beginning to have serious doubts, especially since she's been sitting at the kitchen table with Bill, trying to teach him manners all morning. Obviously, no progress was being made

"You should just stop trying, Shooting Star. You'll only fail at reforming me forever more," Bill taunted.

"You're just saying that because you don't want to be reformed, but that doesn't mean you can't be," Mabel protested with a confident smile.

"Um, no. I can't be, but you're right about one thing: Why would I wanna be good? Being liked is overrated, anyway."

"I'm pretty sure you only think that because you've never had a real friend. Well, guess what! I'll be your first ever friend! Now, gimme a hug, Friend!"

"Touch me and you're dead."

"No, I'm not. Dipper and I hid all the sharp objects in the house."

"I dislike you with great intensity."

"We'll get passed that, and I know just the person to help. To the bus station!"

A bus drove off after dropping off its single passenger at the Gravity Falls bus station; it was a young woman, pale skinned and looked very similar to Mabel with flowing brown hair that reached her shoulders, but she had Dipper's cute red nose, and her attire consisted of a short-sleeved red plaid shirt, grey yoga pants and simple black flats.

It was easy to tell from her appearance that she was definitely a Pines.

"EVELYN!" a screechy voice called.

"Mabel!" Evelyn called happily when she saw her younger cousin running up the station stairs, and she welcomed her in open arms, "How have you been, Mabel?"

"Hunky-dory! And so has Dipper, but I have someone extra special for you to meet," Mabel informed as she yanked on her grappling gun to pull a floating Bill Cipher closer, "Bill, this is my cousin, Evelyn. She's a therapist. Evelyn, this is my friend and your new patient, Bill Cipher."

"Wait, what?! You set me up with a therapist?!" Bill exclaimed out of rage.

"Sure did! Who better to reform you than a shrink?"

"Oh, ha-ha," Evelyn laughed sarcastically, but then smiled sincerely at Bill, "But yes, I am a therapist. Dr. Evelyn Pines, at your service, Mr. Cipher. Mabel called me here to help with your reformation process."

"Don't. Just don't. No one refers to me as 'Mr.' and/or 'Cipher.' Got it?" Bill demanded dryly.

"What ever suits you. The patient's comfort is the most important key to therapeutic change," Evelyn calmly pointed out with a shrug, "Now, I was told I would be welcomed with some of your famous Mac n' Cheese when I got here, Mabel?"

"Yup! Already got some cookin' for ya at the shack," Mabel replied happily.

That night, all of the Pines were seated in the kitchen table to chow down on Mabel's famous macaroni and cheese, which really was as good as Evelyn described. Evelyn even got to meet her Great Uncle Ford that she never knew she had.

Of course, Bill was once again purposely avoiding the fun and socializing, and sat all alone just outside the kitchen doorway. But when he saw that Evelyn looked his way, he quickly leaned back into the living room to hide. Much to his dismay, he wasn't quick enough.

"Why don't you come join us, Bill?" Evelyn asked quietly after exiting the kitchen.

"I'm an all-powerful demon. I don't need to eat, let alone degrade myself by affiliating with you humans—like I am right now," Bill informed flatly, sitting on the floor, crossing his arms and sending a cold glare up at Evelyn.

"Well, not having to isn't the same as being able to. Mabel's macaroni is seriously really good." Evelyn carefully sat down next to the triangle demon, but he quickly scooted a few inches away in disgust.

"Why should accept I accept food from my enemy?"

"Enemy?"

"Oh, that's right. You weren't here for Weirdmageddon, so you also weren't here ta witness my pathetic defeat. Thank Axolotl."

"You're right, I wasn't there. So, please, tell me all about this 'Weirdmageddon'."

Bill quirked a brow in curiosity, "It's pretty horrific. You sure wanna know everything?"

"Every last little detail, please." Evelyn had already pulled out a notebook and pen, and audibly clicked the it.

Bill nearly spent an hour telling Evelyn all about his near-successful plans of his universal-wide Weirdmageddon, and she wrote down almost everything he said with great interest.

"So, Ford used the same material in the Memory Gun to render your powers useless," Evelyn stated matter-of-factly once Bill finished telling her about the recent part of him being freed and forcefully taken in by the others.

"That and Gravity Falls' weirdness magnetism. I tell ya, this place has an unfair advantage against me," Bill replied and brought his hands up, trying to use his powers for something as little as igniting a flame, but the blue shackles on his wrist flashed and hindered his attempts with a fizzle.

"Interesting—I won't lie, your story and intentions are quite terrifying, but everyone and everything that has ever been sentient and had free thought has probably thought of doing worse things," Evelyn calmly explained.

"Oh, yeah? Like who?" Bill asked in disbelief.

"Adolf Hitler, Micheal Jackson, Osama bin Laden, Hilary Clinton, Donald Trump-."

"Ok, ok! I get it. Why you skin puppets choose to even remember such horrible leaders is beyond me," Bill huffed.

"Point is, they're either dead or outnumbered by the better people out there. I'm sure you would rather be the latter, right?"

"Not true. I would very much love to be dead right now."

"Well, you say that now, until you realize how much better it is to just be good."

"Yeah, I may not be clairvoyant anymore, but I can already tell that no good will come of this."

"Oh, well. That wasn't much progress, but we learned enough for our first session," Evelyn declared while clicking her pen and standing and heading upstairs without warning.

"What the-? You call that a therapy session?" Bill asked angrily and floated after her.

"Yes. We sat and talked like civilized people. And I'm impressed, considering all the bad things I've heard about you. You did good."

Evelyn smiled sweetly while reaching out a hand to give the demon a rewarding pat on the back, but Bill was quick to dodge her attempts and scoffed in disgust. The young woman was instantly shut down from being rejected, especially since she only wanted to help. But her mask of appeasement with him remained, as she reluctantly continued up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Bill."

With that, Evelyn closed the bathroom door behind her to get ready for bed, leaving Bill alone to once again conspire with his thoughts.

I've got ta get outta here, Bill thought frantically, not wishing to say under the same roof with such a deranged family much longer.

The dream demon quickly flew downstairs in search of the nearest exit: The back door. Thankful that everyone else was already in bed, he quietly exited the shack and darted into the foreboding forests of Gravity Falls.

Considering Bill has made many enemies in Gravity Falls, perhaps heading into its merciless woods alone isn't the best idea, huh? Guess we'll see.

Until the next chapter, I'm TRikiD, bye-bye!