This is an idea I've been toying with for a while. Just the usual thing about some manga/anime/whatever character being summoned as the Shield Hero in Naofumi's place... Except this time they get a professional who also happens to be a sociopathic hero at best, and fully conscious of it. Oh, and incredibly hammy. I'm Italian and know Saint Seiya from the Italian dub, so…

Chapter 1: What Have They Done to Deserve ME?!

Sanctuary, 1981.

"What do you mean with "redecorating"?" Aiolia asked his less-favored neighbor.

"Aiolia, have you ever wondered why I keep my trophies in the public area of the Temple? Intimidation for those who dare and violate the Temples, and the Solar Soldiers have the appropriate looks." was the reply of Cancer Deathmask, also known as "the Gold Saint you don't want after you. At least Shaka makes it quick…" due his habit of "decorating" the Temple of the Giant Crab with the souls of his defeated opponents manifested as wailing heads as he put down the Pandora's Box with his Cloth. "That is why I'm here, instead of recovering my apprentice from-"

With that, the impossible happened: Deathmask teleported out of the Twelve Temples, part of the Inner Sanctuary. The one area of the entire planet Earth that, barring freak accidents that the goddess hadn't plugged yet and a single exception, was completely impossible to teleport in or out from without Athena's direct permission.

Deathmask looked around, checking his new surroundings. He was in a castle room, European Middle Ages-style. The floor under him was decorated with what appeared to be a summoning circle. In the room were some kind of hooded monks or mages and, closer to the Gold Saint, three East-Asian boys wielding a sword, a spear and a bow of matching manufacture, rather similar to the surprisingly small heater shield he found attached to his arm. Considering the strange power he could feel from the shield, that the boys looked surprised under their brave facades, and the one exception in the Inner Sanctuary's teleport ban, he could guess what was about to come.

"Oh Heroes! Please, save our world!"

Just as he thought: summoning spell for heroes from someone in true and desperate need. And while he didn't voice it, Deathmask wondered what had this people (or their rulers) done to deserve HIM. Especially when he had been standing right before Aiolia. As he wondered that, the boys smirked at him and then started interrupting the monks' plea with complaint they had been effectively kidnapped (something he agreed with but would file away for later), demands for compensations, and threats of becoming enemies.

"ENOUGH, YOU CRASS FOOLS!" he shouted. Then he turned to the monks and spoke: "So, you say you're dealing with hordes of monsters you call "Waves of Calamity" and are desperate enough to summon four heroes, correct? Then take us to your leader," gotta love the classics "we, the summoned Heroes, shall discuss the situation with them."

As the four marched to the throne room, Deathmask took the time to check the abilities of his shield. It had been a relatively simple affair, as he only needed to concentrate on the strange symbol at the periphery of his vision and it had appeared in comfortable computer-style spreadsheet (walking around was no trouble for him, he was no Shaka but any Gold Saint could easily move around without the use of their eyes). A powerful magical artifact, or possibly a divine one, it was a powerful defense, and complemented that by increasing his whole body's defensive abilities on a level similar to that of wearing a Bronze Cloth, and by that "level" thing and the unaccessible voices he could easily guess he could easily improve it. Also, the shield, or the summon magic, allowed him to understand the locals, there was an archive of all his future trophies to fill with monsters, and somehow he could see a RPG sheet of his own abilities. On the other hand, parts of the sheet were too blurry to read, the Shield disallowed him from using any other weapon, and going out with the users of the other three Legendary Weapons would have "adverse effects". Not that they could help him much, now, but in the future he could need them and this way he would not be able to make sure they survived their own apparent stupidity long enough to serve at least as human shields, let alone train them into pulling their own weight.

Also, he didn't like his fellow Heroes' attitude, nor the strange looks from the monks and the castle guards (the local ruler's professional soldiers, not militias, judging by the fact they had actual swords and not falchions or other large knives). And he liked the strange sense of familiarity even less: the whole situation reminded him of the old book Aiolia's servant had recently summed up to him in an attempt to get his help to make a RPG out of it, and what he remembered of the local authorities didn't paint them in a good light.

As they arrived in the throne room, king Aultclay Melromarc XXXII wasted no time proving Deathmask's misgivings true with a hateful look to him that he could not hide fast enough and his condescending tone before explaining their situation: according to an ancient prophecy, some "Waves of Destruction" would invade the world in the end times, attacking until nothing remained unless stopped by brave heroes, and as it happened those were the end times. Many had laughed at the prophecy until the Dragon-Engraved Hourglass, said to predict the coming of the Waves, started having its sand fall, and the moment the last grain was down the sky opened up over the kingdom of Melromarc and an army of monsters came out, an army that had been barely stopped by Melromarc's knights and adventurers-and that was when the locals summoned the Four Legendary Heroes.

"All right" one of the other three said "I think I understand where you're coming from. But does that mean you're basically commanding us to help you?"

"Will you just shut up?" Deathmask told him. Then he turned to the king and spoke: "Forgive them, your majesty, but my fellow "heroes"" and that he said making quote signs "are at their fist adventure, and don't know such things work-or that this work under Hospitality rules, with the summoner providing support and the summoned performing a task, namely destroying the monster." he left out that, usually, the only way back home was achieving victory, as he didn't trust them to act smartly on that.

"Yes, yes, it's like you said." the king confirmed, not exactly thrilled at him being the one who knew how this worked. "Legendary Heroes, what are your names?"

As if Deathmask would give them his real name, not when he didn't trusted them as far a toddler could throw the Temple of the Giant Crab. He couldn't use his best known nickname, however, Deathmask had the wrong ring. In the meantime, the other three started speaking:

"My name is Amaki Ren. I am 16 years old, and a high school student." the androginous Sword Hero said.

"All right, I'll go next. My name is Kitamura Motoyasu. I'm 21, and a college student." the handsome Spear Hero said.

"Ok, my turn. I'm Kawasumi Itsuki. I'm 17, and still in high school." the cute Bow Hero said.

Caesar, Cú Chulainn and Odysseus would have been appalled at these guys' foolish trust. Still, Deathmask presented himself too: "You can call me Angelo." and he kept a straight face as he said that. "I'm a professional."

The king looked down at Deathmask before speaking: "Now then. Ren, Motoyasu, and Itsuki, correct?"

"And Angelo." Deathmask pointed out.

"Ah yes, pardon me, Mr. Angelo."

For now only. Deathmask thought. Summoning a hero unwillingly already skirts the bonds of Hospitality, should you continue such attitude and I'll act as Zeus with the wicked Phrygians.

After some discussion, during which turned out Ren had been the only other to notice what the locals called "Status Magic" but even he had failed to notice the problems with using other weapons or traveling together, the king promised them that volunteers for the initial parties would be provided the following day, and so the four retired to the room already prepared for them.

Author note

Here's Deathmask's first introduction to Melromarc. To those who don't know Saint Seiya, Cancer Deathmask is one of Athena's Gold Saints, warriors of awesome power with the explicit ability to move at the speed of LIGHT… And just happens to be a collateral damage-insensitive sociopath with an immense body count and that little habit of using the souls of his victims as throphies. And one of those victims happens to be a GOD (specifically a Giant of the Greek myth). Not a powerful one, but he still killed a god. Thankfully, he's still somewhat of a hero in the right circumstances… And now you know why this story is titled "The Hero Melromarc Needs and Deserves".

As for Deathmask referring so much to Hospitality, I just felt that the soldiers of a Greek deity would have a strict code about it, just as the Ancient Greeks themselves-and that it gives Deathmask the excuse to massacre everyone as soon as it's betrayed, should he decide so.