Well Ralph! Now you've done it! You've really done it. You and that big mouth of yours! Ralph Cramden berated himself as he listened to the sobs of his wife, Alice, from beyond their bedroom door. His heart wrenched inside his chest. Never had his words caused Alice to react in such a way. Never had his empty threats ever phased her. It wasn't like her to cry. No, she would always stand on her own two feet, dishing out every bit as much of an attitude that Ralph would serve up to her. She had always stood up to him, told him off, remarked what a big mouth he had... and she could stare him down with the best of them. What was so different now?

It all had started when he had come home from work. How he had been looking forward to a hot meal and a relaxing evening in his "castle" as he often referred to their apartment. Dinner was okay... but it had been a little cool. Alice had been on the phone sharing neighborhood gossip with her best friend Trixie. When Ralph had walked in, she muttered a quick "Gotta go, Ralph's home". She jumped into gear, straightening her wrinkled skirt and got busy setting the table.

"Did you have a good day, dear?" She had asked pleasantly.

"NO! No I did not. I'm tired, underappreciated, underpaid, and starving!" Ralph had growled. Ralph winced as he recalled his sharp tone. Did he always sound like that? When he thought about it, Alice had looked pretty tired herself. As far as being underappreciated, Alice took that title... he knew sometimes that he could be a real jerk. How often did he really take her for granted?

Alice had made no particular comment about his complaints, but sat down next to him. She told him that they needed to talk, told him that some things were going to need to change. It was something big, obviously... and something big meant that she was wanting to do something mighty expensive: A trip? New furniture? A second vehicle?... Well, she could just forget it! After all, he wasn't made of money. That's when he had started on his rant.

"I"M KING OF THIS CASTLE!" and "BANG! POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!" He kept waiting for his fiery wife to jump in... but she never did. She never even set him straight. She stood there silent with tears streaming down her face. Silently, with head hung, she adjourned to their bedroom and slammed the door shut.

"Alice! Open up this door, Alice!" Ralph said as he banged on the door.

"No, not now. I can't," Alice said, still weeping. Ralph sighed. He didn't want things to be like this. He longed to talk to her, to get to the bottom of what was troubling her... to apologize for making her cry.

"Come on, Alice... please baby... I just wanna talk to ya. Will you please unlock the door?" He waited a few moments until he heard the click of the lock. As he walked in, there sat Alice on their bed, legs curled up as she dabbed at her swollen eyes with a lace handkerchief she had received as a wedding present from him so many years ago.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he said as he stretched out his hand to caress her cheek. To his shock, she recoiled back in fear. Had he threatened her to the point of taking him seriously? Surely she didn't believe for one moment that he would ever actually harm her.

"Alice... are you... afraid of me?" He asked, almost too afraid of the answer.

"To be honest... yes, sometimes I really am. You have one awful temper, Ralph... and sometimes I wonder... I really wonder if I were to shrink back instead of fight back, would you actually hit me?" She said, looking him boldly in the eye.

"Oh Alice!" He groaned. " I would never hit you. I love you."

"Do you, Ralph? Do you really? Sometimes I wonder with the way you spout off. How can you love me and be so hot headed?" Alice said, as the tears started all over.

"Sweetheart, look how many years we've courted... and we've been married almost fifteen years. The best years of my life have been spent with you. You have to believe me, Alice. I don't know why I get so worked up. I don't know why I'm such a hot head either. All I know is that you're one of the few people that can stand up to me... I guess it just never occurred to me how much I was hurting you. You mean everything to me, Alice, absolutely everything." He said this as he searched her eyes. One hand caressed her cheek and the other rest upon her knee. Alice could see the love in his eyes... slowly warming back up to him.

"Ralph, I love you too, I just don't understand..." but she was cut off as her husband pulled her into a series of tender kisses. He fiddled with the pins in her hair until her strawberry blonde locks had tumbled down over her shoulders. She closed her eyes and melted into his embrace, remembering why she loved Ralph so much. For the flip side of him being a hot tempered blow hard, was a man who was a generous lover who was tender and gentle to his wife.

As Ralph continued to caress Alice and gently kiss her neck, she whispered, "make love to me, Ralph."

Homina, homina, homina! Was his only thought. He was more than willing to grant her request.

They looked on, watching each other undress. A thrill stirred within them. Ralph caught his breath in his throat, as he stared at Alice. He had to remind himself that under all of those petticoats,a girdle, a brazier, and garter stockings, hid an irresistible petite body that belonged to his wife.

As they climbed back onto the bed, Ralph gathered Alice into his arms, gently laying her back.

"Oh Ralph," she sighed just above a whisper, "I love you so." Her words touched him deeply. He swallowed the lump in his throat before responding.

"My beautiful Alice. I love you too... I love you with every bit of my heart. I truly mean it," he said as he continued to make love to her.

...

When they had finished, Ralph laid there with his arms wrapped around his Alice, as she rested her head on his chest. There were no words... just blissful silence, where love, peace, and contentment had taken back their rightful spot. Alice sighed, as she snuggled even closer. This caused Ralph to smile. Suddenly though, he remembered that the conversation they had been having at dinner had never really even taken place.

"Alice dear."

"Yes Ralph?"

"What was it that you were trying to tell me earlier?"

"Ralph... I went to the doctor's this morning. You're not going to believe this... but we're having a baby."

"A baby? A baby!" Ralph exclaimed with excitement.

"Yes... after all these years... we're having a baby of our very own," Alice said, her voice not being able to contain her joy.

"Oh Alice! A baby! Oh wow! A baby! A really real baby! We're having a baby!" Ralph rambled as he squeezed Alice tighter and kissed the top of her head. Alice just chuckled at his excitement. He sounded just like a child on Christmas morning.

"Oh Ralph! I love you! I sure don't know what I would do without you," she exclaimed.

"No Alice," Ralph said, "it is I that wouldn't know what to do without you. Baby... you're the greatest."

The End