Disclaimer: nope.

A/N: This story was written with a mixture of unfair stubbornness and late night stupidity and I hope it does not read like that. Written for:

qlfcS4FinalsRound2 catapults beater 1: peruvian instant darkness powder, 1. "stop fidgeting!", 4. hypothetical, 7. cauldron.

Hide and Seek

James Sirius Potter, for one, could not believe his parents still thought they needed a babysitter. Teddy was awesome, slightly less awesome since he started following Victoire around like a lost puppy at the beginning of the year, but awesome none the less. He was awesome at causing trouble and and had a mean Keeper game.

But a good babysitter?

Not his specialty, if James was being kind about it. Or utterly terrible, if he was not. He used to be, and he was trying, but James only hoped that he didn't turn into a boring prick when he fell in - ugh - love.

Besides the point, James still didn't need a babysitter! Al and Lily, maybe, but James was home for holidays from his first term at Hogwarts. He was a man now.

A bored, bored man. Al and Lily were playing gobstones, James was tossing a snitch, and Teddy was at the table, staring so hardly at a parchment it might burst into flames. James stared, contemplating whether a man who had gone insane was reasonable enough to talk to.

"You'll catch flies, Jamie." Teddy's voice came from nowhere. He hadn't said anything since Mum and Dad left for their date, and that was at least half an hour ago.

James took the bait. Teddy smiled, waiting for it -

"It's James! I'm not a baby anymore."

"To-may-to, to-mah-to," said Teddy with a shrug.

"What are you doing?" James grinned as Teddy's hair turned pink. Of age and he still couldn't figure out how to control it if he was embarrassed. That's basically the best perk of being a Metamorphmagus - hiding emotions. If you couldn't nail that, may as well be a normal, awkward teenager. James laughed, and told Teddy his inner monologue. Teddy scowled, but relented.

"Writing a letter to Victoire."

"An evil letter? You look like you're gonna pass out."

"You're not exactly a word wizard, Jamie. You wouldn't know what it's like to have to write a very important letter, anyway."

"It's not important because you'll still be here when she gets back. You can just talk to her in person."

"A nervous person writing a letter should not be advised to be nervous in person."

"Nervous, smervous." James brushed this aside, echoing Teddy almost moments ago. "You don't need to be nervous around a girl, things that need nerves are quidditch and stupidity. What else is there?"

Teddy didn't look angry at all,but for the first time, James couldn't place his emotions or read his face. Maybe romance really did turn your brain to mush.

"Okay Jamie, give me thirty minutes to write this, and then we're good. We'll just hang out. I feel like I've barely seen you this year," he remarked, then moved to the kitchen.

"I wonder why," James mumbled, but he knew it was fair. Teddy had conquered James man hurdle six years ago.

Al and Lily were apparently still engrossed in their game. Strange, considering Lily usually couldn't keep her hands off Teddy when he came to visit. Maybe she was tired?

"What's wrong with you two?"

"Gobstones stops for no man," said Al.

Lily was slower with her response, and there was definitely disappointment in her voice. "Teddy's busy," she said simply.

Well, it had been fifteen minutes and James was still bored and his siblings were still lame and Teddy was still lovesick, so he went upstairs in search of adventure. Where would he find adventures? Not with his younger siblings of course, but Teddy was practically an adult, he had all sorts of goodies. Teddy always had a room at Grimmauld Place, and James had seen him bring home a rather fascinating cauldron from school this time.

And off he went.

.o.

Hypothetically, Albus thought, channeling Aunt Hermione's wisdom, this game could be going a lot worse.

Realistically, he was ready to pommel Lily over the head. It was statistically impossible to get this lucky on so many moves. Lily was on a roll, and if Al didn't have the ability to beat his little sister at gobstones, what did he have, really? Not exactly charming good looks or a sunny disposition.

Albus wished he could say he loved Teddy more than anyone else in his family, but that, too, was statistically impossible. He was brilliant and athletic, cool, calm, and collected, but also incredibly dorky, and he knew his parents thought Teddy was Merlin, himself. It was difficult to compete with that, not that Albus wanted to. It meant he got to have Teddy as his babysitter, and the best godbrother in the whole world.

But Albus was super bored today. Maybe being a seventh year was just edging away at Teddy's livelihood. That, or Victoire (but Jamie was exaggerating), but that certainly wasn't new. Victoire had been in love with Teddy since like, her birth. Until Teddy's sanity returned and they could have a nice night, Albus had been perfectly content playing gobstones with Lily, until she started kicking his butt. Albus had never been and will never be a sore loser, he was more a sore game-player; couldn't he just have one good move?

"Al!" he heard suddenly, jumping in his seat. Definitely James, definitely unnecessarily loud. "AL! Get up here!" Albus ignored him again. "ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER, DO YOU WANT TO SIT AROUND PLAYING GOBSTONES YOUR WHOLE LIFE?"

Albus weighed his options. There was Lily, kicking his butt, and James, doing something stupid.

He high-tailed after his brother.

.o.

Lily had been so lost in her thoughts that it took her a solid five minutes to realize both her brothers had abandoned her. What was the point of having siblings if they leave you all alone? Not on her watch. She huffed indignantly, turning to march up the stairs and followed the sounds of their voices. They were in Teddy's room, crouched over a cauldron filled with black...stuff? She had definitely seen it before.

The conversation stopped short as they noticed her. "Lily, what are you doing here? Stop fidgeting so much," Jamie added, noticing her slight wobble, and Lily ignored him. Just because she wasn't perfectly elegant like James Sirius Potter.

"I want to do something fun. Is it something fun?"

Jamie laughed, leaning forward to cover her eyes with his hands. "It's Peruvian instant darkness powder. The whole place could go this dark." He wiggled his fingers. Lily thought Jamie sounded very proud of his answer.

"Let's do that, then."

"Huh?" Albus stared.

"Make everything go black." Lily giggled at the thought.

That was all the excuse James needed. He ran for the cloak and through it over them, and together they walked through the upper floor throwing powder, knowing it my heart and not taking a single misstep.

Then Al whispered "Hide." They did, running off.

And then they waited.

.o.

If there was one thing Teddy was good at, it was getting the feeling something bad was happening. He knew this sentence didn't sound write and he knew NEWTs were hard; the off-putting feeling was simply another fact of life, now.

There were only three things that could be off-put right now: James, Albus, and Lily.

And when he walked into the sitting room, all three of them were gone, so he was not off to a good start and cursed his deduction skills. He called out their names: once, then twice.

He thought about Harry, and how he might assume the worst, but Harry was a great detective, too. He looked for clues and figured things out.

In Teddy's case, he heard a sneeze from upstairs. If it was Al, and they're all hiding, James and Lily are going to be so mad.

He walked up the stairs and into absolute darkness, instantly knowing what happened.

.o.

This is the story of how Harry and Ginny Potter had a wonderful date night while their most trusted godson lost their three children in instant darkness, spent the whole night clumsily banging into things until he found them, and how the four of them snuggled into the darkness on James' bed, Teddy telling story after story of Hogwarts and talking until they all fell asleep.

In the morning, there was daylight, memories, and a stunned Ginny and Harry Potter.