Disclaimer: It has come to my attention that I have not done this.

I do not own FMA or the related franchise. This has not changed since I started the fic and I will inform you so if it does change in the future chapters. Otherwise assume I have no ownership over it.

Bam!

Someone slammed an empty mug on the table. Slightly drunk and far too engaged in the game to mind their surroundings, the townspeople would have made this intel-gathering mission a breeze. Yet, nothing went quite as planned. Oh no, that was too much to ask, wasn't it?

It was going too well, Roy realized with a start. Nothing suggested that this should have been any more difficult than it was, but this small, very logical conclusion did nothing to curb the apprehension born of years of service in the hot spot of trouble. The nibbling thought that something was going to turn this simple job into a nigh impossible one stayed. For now, there was hope. There was always hope.

His doubts finally found ground as a large, loud dog burst into the inn.

"Who wants to play strip poker?!" A drunken voice reverberated throughout the tavern, loud even over the din of the room. After a moment's hush, a few people got up off their sits to join the group. Havoc and Breda sat in the middle of the gang with cards on their hands already.

In all fairness, it was not such a bad idea to collect information as people were more likely to loosen up in the company of those who would willingly give up any perceived protection the clothes offered. Whether such an action truly made the person any less dangerous or not did not matter. Elementary psychology.

There was no reason for it to have ended the way it did - in screams as the players backed up from the undercover officer. Under the circumstances, however, there wasn't much to do but book it and abort the mission, at least for Breda. Although, that incident made everyone wary, and now it would be triple as hard to find out any substantial information.

It was going well. The entire team was good at what they did, and the more people were milling around, the higher chance they would have of overhearing relevant exchanges.

However, it was not to be as in the next minute, a barking Golden Retriever ran in. Everyone who knows Breda, knows his fear of dogs. In the following few moments, he seemingly teleported to the top of a nearby table.

The retriever, being the friendly dog that his breed is famed to be, apparently decided it was offensive that anyone could be that afraid of it. The blur of gold followed the disguised officer up and put its paws on the poor man's back.

That by itself was also no cause for concern, but the strip poker meant that some of the protection has already been torn away, which made the guns much easier to displace. When the dog was taken away, the concealed weapons became much less hidden as the blasted animal managed to move the straps in a way that made them very much visible to all the good townsfolk gathered.

Who would have thought a hidden gun would be suspicious? It's not like any normal, law-abiding citizen isn't allowed to have one or anything! Mustang resisted the urge to curse and set something on fire. Really, he should have known better than to hope it would all blow over when things were going well.

No, those drinks definitely seemed stronger than normal. Perhaps it could serve as their defense during the report.

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...

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No, that would only make things worse, damn it!

AN: I have no excuses and can only promise to try and do better with the updates.

Thank you for the favs and follows! Special shoutout to Attackoneverything, bergamots, ChocoMeoka-Chan, lexieconextreme, Munchy Fox, and ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm for the reviews! I am glad you enjoy the fic!

Munchy Fox, thank you for the great suggestion! I have already started it, but it turned into a longer one. I hope to do it justice as it's an interesting one to work with!