Summary: One-shots and drabbles of various ways to blow cover.

1. Have a short rant gone too far

Undercover at school - drug bust. Ed is a student, Havoc is the gym teacher.

Ed walked through the school halls.

He was not happy with his location. The school was boring. Not only was it extremely easy, but the classes provided a ton of absolutely useless information.

Who needed to know the trivia of their literature class, not to mention most of that "knowledge" flew out the window as soon as they moved onto the next book.

So, no, Ed was not happy with his predicament.

The only reason he was here was because that bastard ordered him to go undercover. The case was from the higher-ups, and nothing could be done. Apparently the intel hinted that a dangerous drug gang was based in the school. Unfortunately, the intel couldn't provide any info of the exact reasons military got involved in the case.

The golden-haired prodigy grew progressively irritated trying to get past the bodies in the hall. That was another minus - everyone was freakishly tall here. Being stuck in a school with older students was not fun as the thirteen-year-old quickly found out.

He really needed to get to the locker room. The next class was PE. Ed paused remembering that Havoc played the teacher there. Perhaps it wouldn't be as bad as the disaster with chemistry. It really wasn't his fault the teacher made a mistake in calculations, and he was the only one who noticed.

Ed took that back. PE was disastrous. They had to change into sports uniforms. The Fullmetal Alchemist had no idea why everyone was making such a big deal out of his automail. Again. Sure, it was rare for someone their age to have fake limbs, but automail wasn't that uncommon in Amestris.

"So, how did you wind up missing an arm and a leg?"

"Where did you get the automail?"

"How come your parents allowed you to take the surgery?"

Reasonable questions. All of them. Or, at least that's what Ed kept repeating to himself.

"I bet it's fake. There's no way someone like him has real automail."

It was the same idiot who tried to fight every normal person in the vicinity. The bastard loved to get on people's nerves, and it was evident in every aspect of his being. During lunch, he'd almost spilled milk on the alchemist. That was just unforgivable.

Really, Edward surprised himself by not punching the moron since the lecture he would get wasn't worth it. Instead, the boy grit his teeth and walked into the gym before he lost control over his temper.

"What? Am I right or am I right?" taunted the - Brian. His name was Brian. Not that it mattered to the teenager who diligently ignored the annoyance at the door.

Havoc looked up at the commotion in interest.

Seeing Edward's murderous expression, the Lieutenant visibly shivered before signaling a quick you okay?

Ed responded with a terse Later before going to the slowly forming line. He was practically shaking with barely contained rage.

'This is not gonna end well' was all Havoc had time to think before said thoughts were interrupted by a very loud, angry scream.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT ANY BALL WOULD CRASH HIM LIKE A FLEA?!"

Jean noted that the yell was directed at a buff looking ginger.

"Edward- "

The ginger smirked.

"You, of course. Shorty."

Havoc lunged and tackled Ed just as the teenager let out an inhuman roar transforming his arm into a deadly blade with a mere clap. Colonel Mustang would not be happy with either the hospital bill or the charges against his subordinates that were imminent if this continued.

The class stared. After all, it's not every day that they got to see a teacher fight a strange new kid. Someone left for the headmaster.

The coach had the teenager pinned down by the arms and was trying to avoid being kicked in the stomach. The kicks that did land seemed incredibly painful if the grunts were anything to go by.

"Let go of me, Havoc!"

"Chief - ow! - calm down!"

Brian's eyes took the size of giant plates, and his entire body shuddered violently at the mental images of what the pipsqueak would do to him if the teacher let go. That level of fighting was not something he expected of the shrimp.

"Argh! I'm gonna transmute him into an ant and then crush him beneath my boot!"

The class backed away.

"No one calls the Fullmetal Alchemist short and gets away with it! No one!"

That was the moment the headmaster walked into the gym followed by a shy girl who ran out before.

"What's going on here? Stop the fighting! The Fullmetal Alchemist? You mean the youngest person to ever pass the State Alchemist exam? I want an explanation, and I want it now, or you're expelled."

Ed stopped struggling at hearing the commanding voice, and Jean let go of him in relief. He didn't think his ribs could take much more bruising.

"I'm waiting."

"Aah, you see..haha, funny story…"

"At least get rid of the blade if you're going to try to lie about it."

Both military officers winced. Yeah, there was that to deal with. Their cover did not last even a week.

It was quiet for an entire minute before whispers started and soon turned into excited questions and exclamations.

"You're the Fullmetal Alchemist?!"

"Wow! That's awesome!"

"Was the exam hard?"

"How did you do it?!"

"Why are you here?"

"Did you ever kill people?"

It was at that moment, Brian knew. He fucked up. So, he hightailed it out of the gym before the murderous shrimp remembered he was the cause of this mess.

"All will be explained to you later, but I'm afraid we must go now."

"Wait! We?! You're with the military, too?!" Havoc winced. Mustang would not be happy with this. On the bright side, he actually won that bet.

"What?! The gang wasn't even near the school?! You mean I went through that torture and time waste for nothing!?"

The day they caught the gang was not a quiet one. The ranting emanating from Mustang's office went on for hours. Someone on the other end of HQ suggested ear plugs. Breda won that bet.

A/N: I did not expect the fight. It wrote itself.

Anyway, most stories will have something to do with Ed with or without the rest of the team since he doesn't have much experience with that type of work.

Ideas and suggestions are welcome. Reviews are motivation. Please point out any OOC stuff. Constructive criticism is welcome since I know this sucked.

~ Till next installment,

Clubcat