A/N: I couldn't get this story out of my head, and for me to finish anything else this had to go. This will be a short story… I pounded out the words very quickly.I wrote this slightly different then I usually write.

Ana's POV will be mostly her inner dialogue. That way you can get a just of how she's feeling. This tale is a little darker then what I normally write.

They meet the same way they do in the book, but Ana ends up signing the contract.

I've been his sub for two months now. For two months, I feel like my soul is being sucked out of me.

You might ask why I don't just leave. I can't. I mean I guess I can. But I signed a contract. A contract that basically says I'm his and I have to do whatever he says.

When I first signed, I was hoping he would want more with me. It took me three weeks before I buckled down I signed the damn thing.

He told me at one point he wanted more. I haven't seen it.

Then he showed me his worst.

The cane to my ass. My first real punishment, other than the simple spankings he gave me with his hand.

The pain that lashed through me at that moment. I was too scared, lost, to even think of safe wording. When he was done, he took care of me. The sex we had afterwards, was almost sweet and tender. He didn't fuck me hard that day. I didn't understand how he could be so curl one moment, and loving the next.

I should of ran that day, but I didn't. I was still in my naive thoughts that he wanted me, for me.

I remember the feeling of being in love with him, I still think I might be, but I'm not even sure myself.

Do I even know what love really is?

I feel like the light I once had is gone. I feel as I'm going through the motions. I know people around me are starting to notice, even he is starting to pick up the difference in me.

Not that he really cares, right?

As long as he gets his.

So, here I am, standing in front of his penthouse, for another weekend of being tied up and fucked. Another weekend of losing myself.

I've lost my identity to a man I think I love, but who can never love me.

The elevator dings and I arrive to his penthouse, his Ivory Tower, that contains a room of pain. I have no idea if I really find the pleasure in it anymore.

I was new to this, I was a virgin, when he propositioned me for this. I thought I could learn, for him. I wanted him and would do anything for him.

Now, I'm a zombie.

I'm one of them.

I'm ghost girl.

But, I'm with him.

I walk past the foyer where he greets me. My head is down and I can't look at him. He's my Master, he is now in full control of me.

I instantly notice his bare feet and ripped jeans.

"Anastasia," He walks close to me, I can smell his intoxicating scent. In a way I missed him this week, in a way I also haven't.

He puts his finger under my chin and lifts it up to look at me.

His grey eyes bore into my baby blues. He stares at me, his eyes darkening. And I'm not sure if it's with lust or anger.
Maybe both.

He confuses me all the time.

"Have you been eating?"

Fuck

My appetite has been nothing these past few weeks. I tried eating a banana and it made me sick. I rarely eat anything when I'm not with him. When I'm with him I have to eat, I force myself to eat three square meals in his presence.

Thankfully, I made sure the food issues stated in the contract were changed, and I didn't have to follow them when I wasn't with him. My only promise that I was to eat.

I guess I have broken that promise.

"Answer me, Anastasia."

I gulp and know what is about to come.

"No, sir. I haven't been well." It's not totally a lie.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His eyes bore into me more, they almost show his concern, his worry.

"I'm sorry, sir."

He sighs, dropping his hand from my chin.

"I want you in the playroom, in ten minutes."

"Yes, sir." I drop my gaze down to the floor.

He turns around and I watch his feet leave the room. I take my bag and walk to my room.

The Sub Room.

Where all the other souls before me stayed.

Fifteen in all.

Some handle it better than I ever could. The lifestyle that was made for them. A want that they desired.

I know of only one that was lost before I was.

It didn't turn out well for her in the end either.

Ghost Girl

She still haunts my thoughts. She stalked me for weeks in the beginning of my relationship with him.

Then she came into the penthouse house while I was here by myself.

She flipped out, wondered why I was there on a Tuesday. How I could be given more. I tried to tell her, I haven't been given more.

She didn't believe me. Said she saw me sleep in his bed.

Then before I know it, she grabs a knife and cuts open her wrist in front of me.

I called 911 but I was too late.

She died on the way there.

I made him promise I wouldn't end up like her, he promised I wouldn't.

He told me she had a lot more problems then just him not wanting more.

He promised.

But here I am.

Someone now lost in my own inner turmoil. Alone.

I should have left then.

I should have left a lot of times.

Yet, I remain.

Now I stare at myself in the mirror.

I'm pale, my eyes too big for my face. My brown hair fanned around my face, the same as the others.

I am just one of them.

No longer myself.

I'm in the playroom. I strip my clothes off and kneel at the door, waiting for my Master.

Ten minutes go by as I wait for him.

My knees are starting to ache from the wood floor.

For a man that makes everyone else be on time, he sure knows how to be late and make me wait.

I would roll my eyes, but with my luck he would catch me.

I finally hear the door open and his feet pad across the floor.

"Stand, Anastasia."

I do as he tells me and stand before him, my head still bowed. I notice that he's walking around me.

What for?

"You've lost weight, Anastasia. This weekend I expect you to eat. I might have to make you stay with me this week, just to insure you do."

"Yes, sir."

The thought makes my stomach go into more knots than before. I don't want to eat.

But, I don't want my ass red either.

He's quiet, standing there looking at me.

"Go lay on the bed, on your back."

I obey and go lay on the bed. He comes over to me and ties my arms to the bed. A mask goes over my eyes. I'm in total darkness, much like my life now.

There hasn't been light in months.

"You're too thin, Anastasia." He reprimands me again.

"Sorry, sir." I whisper. My weight is about the only thing I can control. Because all my control has been given to him.

I vaguely feel the flogger against my skin. I think my body is responding, I haven't heard him say otherwise.

I feel the wetness of his tongue between my legs. He used to be able to get me off with just the flick of his tongue, for some reason now it's like sandpaper. My mind floats to somewhere else.

I'm actually thinking about Kate and Elliot. How lucky Kate is to be in a relationship with someone that loves them back. She's always going on and on about him. Kate is never even home anymore. In a way, it's good. I can hide and nobody can see my pain.

Nobody can ask questions..

The other day she told me they were talking about moving in together.

Must be nice, to see your future happiness.

I distinctly feel him insert his fingers in me, and suck hard on my clit.

Nothing, I truly feel nothing.

Maybe, I should concentrate.

"Ana…" I hear him growl. I guess he's getting frustrated with me.

He stops his assault and I feel his face in front of me. He slams his lips to my mouth, and I remember that I should kiss him back.

I relish for a moment in his tender kiss. It's different this time. But, I'm not sure how.

He removes the blindfold from me and is staring at me. His grey eyes determined.

To what? Make me cum?

Sometimes I feel like I'm his own personal cum bucket.

There's a term I never thought I would use. I need to stop watching late night TV.

He slams into me, hard. It's painful this time. I can't help but scrunch my face. It didn't even hurt like this when I lost my virginity to him.

"Come on baby," He trusts. His eyes meet mine again. "Relax." He whispers.

He kisses me again, circling his hips around.

And the only thing I can think of is that damn Frankie goes Hollywood song.

I feel him undo my arms from the bed.

He picks me up and flips me over. "Hands and Knees, Anastasia."

I do as I'm told. Now I'm doggy style on the bed. I feel the harsh sting across my ass. He's not happy with me. Another slap, before grabs my hips and he plunges in me again.

"Damnit, Ana. Come." He grits out, as he continues to slam into me.

I feel him spill into me, my orgasm never reached.

He pulls out of me harshly.

"What the fuck was that, Anastasia?" He yells at me.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"Sorry?" He spits out. I can hear him pacing back and forth. My ass is still out in the air. I'm not sure what to do now. He hasn't given me any direction.

I feel a blanket go over me. He sits on the bed next to me. He grabs me and I fall into his lap.

I don't look at him, as he brushes my hair back.

He says nothing. And I relax to his calm demeanor. He's kissing my neck and my shoulders

Shouldn't he be yelling at me?

The man confuses the hell out of me.

"You didn't come?" He says softly. "Where were you?"

"I'm sorry, Sir." Is all I say. I don't know where I was. Escaping I think.

He doesn't say anything else, as he keeps holding me in his arms.

This is one of the reasons why I can love him. He told me, he's never just held a Sub. It's some of the more he has given me. It's not much, but it's something.

I guess.

He lifts me up in his arms and carries me to my bedroom. He lays me down and still says nothing. He covers me with the blanket and sits on the edge of the bed, I think just staring at me.

I have found him a couple of times sleeping in a chair next to my bed or laying next to me. I never told him that I see him, he's usually gone before I wake again.

"I want you to get dressed and come down and have dinner in twenty minutes." He tells me softly. "I have something already made for tonight."

"Yes, Sir."

He rolls me over and has me look at him again. There's an unnamed emotion in his eyes, I can't read it. He seems as he's about to say something, but he doesn't. He leans down and kisses my forehead, before exiting the room.

I wonder if tonight, he will kick me to the curb?

I get dressed, in a pair of tight leggings and a t-shirt. I feel like I'm going to my funeral. I don't want to eat. The thought is making me sick. The thought of making him mad, makes me sick.

I approach the kitchen and he's sitting at the breakfast bar. I usually have to make the meals while I'm here. But, I have a feeling his housekeeper cooked tonight.

My meal has been plated out for me next to him.

The smell is already making me sick.

Maybe I am getting sick. I can usually stomach the food he makes me eat.

I sit down next to him. It's macaroni and cheese with broccoli.

"Ana?" I hear him say, as I stare down at the food in front of me. I have to wait for him to start eating first.

"Yes, Sir?" I say meekly.

"I want you to look at me, talk to me." I glance up at him. His eyes begging me.

"I don't know what to talk about, Sir."

"Tell me what's wrong would be a good place to start. Lately, I can sense you're changing. I want you to talk to be Ana. It's my job, to care for you."

"I just have a lot going on with work." I lie.

"Anything I could help with?" He offers

How could I forget he's my bosses boss' boss? I inwardly roll my eyes. I still haven't understood why he would buy the company I work at. He gave me some shit about keeping me safe, but it's lost on me.

"No, we're just busy."

He hums, I'm sure not believing me, but he changes the subject.

"I have a gala I need to attend tomorrow night. I would like you to come with me."

I'm shocked. He never takes me anywhere, not since I signed that stupid contract.

Could I hate myself more every day for the mistake that I made?

But, he really wants to take me out in public.

I shouldn't get too excited, it might just be some BDSM formal.

Do they have those?

Everyone dressed up in leather, dancing the night away.

"Yes, sir."

He picks up my hand and kisses my knuckles.

"Good. I'll have something picked out for you." He releases my hand and I notice he picks up his fork and starts eating. I then pick up mine and start moving my food around.

He glares over at me when he notices I'm not eating.

"Eat, Anastasia. Or so help me."

"Sorry, Sir." I pick up a noodle and put it in my mouth.

"And enough with the fucking Sorry's" He snaps flinging his fork to his plate. "Tell me what the fuck is going on with you Anastasia. This is not how you normally act. I let it go last weekend, but this ends now. Now tell me." He demands, his voice ringing out through the penthouse.

I don't get a chance to answer when the elevator dings. It seems like we have company.

I hear the familiar clicks of high heels hitting the marble floor.

The smell of her perfume is making me even more nauseous than the mac and cheese sitting in front of me.

"Oh, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

It's the Bitch Troll.

He told me some of how he got into this lifestyle when he was fifteen. How he was introduced by his mother's friend. When he told me that, it made me sick to my stomach. Not to mention when he actually told me about some of his trouble childhood. I knew this woman took advantage of a trouble child. An easy prey for her.

Yet, he's still friends with her.

So, I had to endure meeting this woman, when I was sent to the salons that she owns that he helps her with.

Nothing like getting your bits waxed in a place a pedophile owns. Thankfully, she hasn't touched me when I go there.

But, she always has a few choice looks and words for me.

"No, not at all." He tells the bleach blonde, Botox, pedophile bitch.

"I have the papers you need in my study. I'll go grab them."

"Thank you, darling. Then I'll be out of your hair, for you to continue your activities."

He just smiles at her and leaves me alone with her.

Great.

"I hope you're enjoying your time with him. Because you're time is almost up, and I already have the perfect girl lined up for him." The bitch troll sneers.

I don't say anything.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have my freedom again.

Find myself again.

"He told me he might cut you lose sooner. You don't seem to please him anymore. He was just telling me the other day, how he was displeased in your performance."

I keep my mouth shut. He talks about us to her?

How dare him.

I feel the love I thought I had for him slip. I'm disgusted, dirty.

I should have known I was nothing more than a whore.

And here in front of me is the pimp. I mean he told me before, she is who he gets his girls from.

I always hated the clothes, the jewelry, the car. Makes me feel like he's paying for sex. I guess in a way he is.

"He should have never picked you up. You have no training, you're disobedient. I don't know what he was thinking trying to train a novice." Bitch troll cackles at me.

I can't take it anymore.

I can't do this anymore.

She's right though, he should of never picked me.

I hate him.

I toss my plate at bitch, covering her in my uneaten mac and cheese and storm out of the room.

I feel like the first time I'm making the right choice.

I'm leaving and I'm going to find myself again.

I leave everything he gave me on the dresser. The necklace, the earrings, the laptop, the phone and the key to the Submissive special. The clothes he bought; stay hanging in the closet.

I want nothing from him, no memory of him.

I grab my purse, when he comes storming in.

"What the hell, Anastasia? I leave for five minutes and you dump your food all over Elena. I don't know what the hell your problem is lately, but you need to figure it out quickly."

The fire is burning in his eyes, this look used to scare me, but I can't let it anymore. I need to leave.

I can't let him break me anymore.

"I'm leaving." I stumble out, my voice not as strong as I was hoping it would be.

"What? What do you mean you're leaving?" I take a peek at him, he's running his hands through his hair, his expression bleak

Why does he care?

"You're just getting rid of me anyways, Sir."

"What are you talking about?" he asks astonished.

"You know very well what I'm talking about." For the first time in a month, I feel strong, the old me breaking through. "Our contract is up in a month. And your friend told me how displeased you are with me. So, I'll let you go, so you can beat the next brown haired girl in Submission." I spit.

I take one last look at him and I can see the uncontrollable rage surge through his body.

I go to make my escape again, but this time he grabs my wrist. He's squeezing it so tight, that pain in laces through me.

"You're not going anywhere." He snaps at me. "Let me go!" I try to struggle out of his hold, but he's too strong.

Why can't he just let me go.

I think his grip is getting harder.

This pain is almost as bad as when he hit me with the cane.

"Please let me go." I beg him. When I look at him again, his eyes are cold and vacant. It's like he's not really here anymore.

"I can't let you go, Ana. We have a contract. You're mine." He says softly.

"You said I can leave at anytime. I don't want this life anymore. You've broke me."

His grip is even tighter now. He's losing his control. I scream at the pain.

"You're hurting me." I yell at. "Red!"

Just let me go.

All kinds of emotions flash through him. Maybe even tears?

He finally releases my arm.

When he finally lets go of me I go tumbling backwards and land on the ground. The hand he was holding onto, catches my fall, and I hear a distinct crack.

I yelp out in pain, the tears pooling in my eyes.

He snaps out of whatever haze he was in and comes running to me.

"Stay away from me!" I scream at him, as the hot tears run down my face.

"Ana, let me help you. I'm so sorry." He's pleading with me. He tries picking me up, but I kick my feet at him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, baby. I'm so sorry." His voice cracks.

Why won't he just let me go.

"What's going on in here?" I look up and the bitch troll is standing in the doorway with an evil smirk on her face.

Behind her is Taylor, he's looking around scouting the situation.

"Sir?" He looks at me then at him.

"Taylor, she's hurt. We need to get her to the hospital.

"No! I just want to leave."

I stand up pushing my way from him. I hold on to my wrist. The pain is excruciating, but the pain in my heart feels worse.

"Ana, you need to go to the hospital." He pushes.

"I want away from you..." I'm begging now, but it's falling on deaf ears.

"Ana…" He's pleading.

"Oh, let her go." Bitch Troll scoffs. "She's nothing but trouble anyways. I have the perfect young girl for you, I'll call her and she'll be here right away."

His eyes go dark, swirling with anger. And for the first time, it's not at me.

"Shut the fuck up, Elena. GO!" He screams at her.

"I'm not leaving." Bitch Troll stands up taller, trying to command the room.

While he's fixated with her I move away more from him.

I don't want to be near him.

He's the monster he always claimed to be.

"You've lost all your focus since you met this trollop." She sneers, her nose flaring in anger.

"Sir?" Taylor's voice raises, cutting through the tension in the room.

"Yes, Taylor?" He snaps at him, but I think thankful for interpreting.

"Let me take Miss. Steele to the hospital. I think it would be best if you stayed here." He offers.

"No, I'll go with her." He demands.

"NO!" I scream.

God, please no. Stay away.

"Ana, please. I just want to make sure you're ok. I feel terrible…"

"How many times do I have to say. STAY AWAY! Or would it better if I say words you know… like Red! Just leave me alone" I yell, the tears stinging my eyes.

He shakes his head, looking at the floor. His shoulders hunch over.

"Fine, Taylor take her." He whispers, his eyes never leaving the floor.

I run out of the room.

Freedom.

As I pass the bitch troll I hear her cackling. I make my way down the hallway and I hear his voice booming through the halls. I can't understand what he is saying, and I don't care.

Taylor and I both stop when we hear a loud crash.

"Come on, Ana." Taylor says softly, putting his hand on my lower back, so I keep walking. I dont even remember arriving to the hospital.

Taylor parks the car and opens the door for me.

"Thank you, Taylor. I should be ok from here." I know if Taylor comes with me, he'll report every word to him.

Taylor pulls a card out of his pocket and hands it to me.

"If you need me, call me." Taylor tells me sincerely.

"Thank you." I pocket the card and make my way into the ER.

Hours pass, between waiting, being x rayed, blood work drawn, I'm now waiting for the results.

The curtain pulls back and the doctor walks in.

"Miss. Steele, I'm Dr. Peters." The gray-haired man, with kind eyes, smiles at me.

"Hi."

"I have your results, and your wrist has a small fracture and we will need to put a cast on you. Also, your blood work came back, you're pregnant, Miss. Steele. According to the levels I would say about four to six weeks."

Did he just say pregnant? How? What? I try to pick up my jaw from the floor as he continues. But, it remains hanging on shock.

"Your iron levels are really low and I would like you to start some prenatals and get tested again in a week, to make sure they go back up. I would make an appointment with an OB as soon as you can."

I can't say anything.

I'm pregnant.

"Are you ok, Miss. Steele?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, thank you." I whisper.

No, I'm not ok! I want to scream. He's now a part of me forever.

I'll never be rid of him.

Why is God punishing me?

I sigh, I only did this to myself.

I'm doing everything in my power not to throw up. My heart is twisting in my chest, my stomach is a giant knot of nerves.

I want to cry.

I want someone to hold me.

Yet, I'm alone.

Can I even tell anyone? I signed an Non-closure agreement.

"Alright, someone will come in a cast your arm. I will get you a prescription for some prenatals, and a referral for some OBs in the area."

The doctor leaves the room, leaving me alone.

I'm alone.

I finally get my arm put in a cast, and discharged.

I remember that I don't have a phone on me and ask the nurse to call me a cab.

I will go home to an empty apartment, as I face my new reality.

A reality that I'm pregnant with Christian Grey's baby.

And I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Next up is Christian's POV.

I know it seems kind of chopping and also when you post on the site it changes how the paragraphs are spaced. Sorry about that. But like I said it was meant to be her inner dialogue so I hoped it turned out well.

Ana is depressed, and I'm going to try my best to tap into a mind that is lost and scared. And hopefully finding a way to help ease her problems.

PS. if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all... i will delete all rude reviews. :)