Merry Christmas Stripesicles222 and to all my other readers.

It may have been said before, but I really appreciate the time you all take to read my stories and leave nice comments. Unfortunately it is beyond my ability to send you all a Christmas present so I will have to take the easy (and cheap) way out by giving to you all this new holiday tale.

So settle down by the fire, gather all the newly hatched Nadders, Gronckles and Nightmares to your side and enjoy what I'm sure will become a new Christmas tradition. Watching Gift of the Night Fury on DVD and then reading the sequel...

How to Insult Your Dragon

A Snoggletog Story

Chapter 1

The bow of the small boat heaved up as it crashed into yet another wave. Salt spray hit the dark haired girl square in the face but there was nothing more it could do to her for she was already drenched to the skin. She was no stranger to rough weather and she considered the day to be quite mild, but she still looked forward to making landfall very soon. It was a tough little boat taking her to Berk and she was grateful to have it, even though the young lady was more accustomed to a very different mode of transport; she just hoped the fishermen she had "borrowed" it from, would understand when she brought it back… if she brought it back.

Her navigation skills were quite high but the thick grey clouds and strong easterly wind meant her final approach to the island of Berk was a little too far to the west than she would have liked, but it all worked out for the best when the girl saw two young people on the beach nearby. At first she could not see what the strange pair were up to, but it soon became apparent they were fighting. Their behaviour made perfect sense however, when she realised the combatants were none other than Ruffnut and Tuffnut Thorston, for whom battle was a true way of life.

"AHOY THERE!" she called out as Ruffnut held her brothers head under the waves.

The sudden unexpected call caught the horn helmeted girls attention, giving her brother the opportunity he needed to reverse the whole situation.

"Globn't bloo grat; blits guvorblbt" Ruffnut implored her brother.

"What was that sis?" Tuffnut asked as he lifted Ruff's head out of the sea.

"I said don't do that; it's Heather" she declared after spitting out a mouthful of brine.

Tuffnut released his grip on Ruffnuts hair and stood up. Not far away he saw the small sailboat as it rode a white capped wave to the shore. As soon as it had beached itself, the wave behind crashed into it. The boat rolled over and dumped its passenger unceremoniously onto the sand.

"Ruff, Tuff, I've got to find Hiccup; something terrible has happened.

"Sorry Heather but Hiccup isn't on the Island; but we can help" Ruffnut declared proudly.

"That's right" Tuffnut agreed "for whenever something terrible happens, you can be sure we'll be there."

"So we have the most experience with terrible occurrences" Ruffnut added.

Heather was not sure about the logic shown by Ruffnut and Tuffnut, but she desperately needed help of the kind only available from the Dragon Riders of Berk.

"Its Windshear" Heather sobbed "She's gone."

"Well of course she's gone; it's..." Tuffnut started before his sister clamped her hand over his mouth.

"No need to be so blunt my brother" Ruffnut blurted out.

Heather sighed as she stared down at her feet so she did not notice the sly wink Ruffnut used to signal her brother.

"Oh... err... yes how could I be so insensitive?" Tuffnut slapped his forehead with the back of his hand "Maybe you should explain Ruffnut, since you too are a weak and emotional female."

He may have been playing the game perfectly, but Tuffnut's comment still got him a punch in the face.

"It appears to me like you too have insulted your dragon" Ruffnut said as she put her arm around Heathers shoulder.

"Insulted my dragon? What are you talking about?" Heather asked.

"My esteemed brother and I have also committed the unpardonable crime of insulting our dragon and that is why we have just completed the Ritual of Atonement. In this way we hope Barf and Belch will find it in their heart... or hearts, to forgive us and return."

"But what could I have done to insult Windshear?" Heather asked with surprise.

"It could have been anything; dragons are very sensitive" Tuffnut nodded.

"Have you ever sat down to a meal without giving Windshear her food first?" Ruffnut asked.

"Never; I always take care of her before I eat" Heather protested.

"Have you ever broken wind while sitting in the saddle?" Tuffnut grinned.

"What? No... I don't think so."

"Are you sure?" Tuffnut pushed.

"I don't know" Heather blurted out "I don't keep a Flatulence Diary."

"Oh I do" Tuffnut said as he joyfully pulled a small notebook out of his tunic and began to read a random page."

"September 17th at 11:30 am; Fishlegs claims the reason Meatlug just threw up in the Great Hall, was because she had eaten some moss covered rocks that morning and they had given her a sour stomach. But I maintain it was because of the fruity bottom burp I had produced. Volume 7 out of 10,
Aroma 8 ½ out of 10,
Continuity..."

"I think she gets the idea" Ruffnut interrupted "It doesn't matter what you did to insult Windshear; the question is, what will you do to win her back?"

"I'd do anything to get her back" Heather begged.

"Good" Ruffnut grinned "What did you just see Tuff and me doing when you came ashore?"

"It um... looked like you were holding each other's heads underwater. Is that what I have to do to show Windshear how sorry I am?"

The twins smiled as they looked at each other before they both burst out laughing.

"Oh Heather, Heather, Heather" Ruffnut shook her head "You may remember I said we have just completed the Ritual of Atonement; you can't start at the end."

"You must start at the beginning" Tuffnut informed her.

"Okay then... how do I start?" she asked.

And so the Thorston's new evil plan begins. New chapter every day because there are only three.