ACT II: To Face Fear and Know It

Note: A tremendous, TREMENDOUS thank you to my beta-reader, Sakura, who still cranked this out for me despite the absolute chaos in the world. Any mistakes remaining are my own. Please, enjoy!

The next morning found my troupe packed and on a hard march back to the Hinterlands. We had a lot of ground to cover. We had several items of game-changing pieces we needed to clear from our laundry list of Shit That Needs Doing. One of these I was prepared for, the other one perhaps not so much. In my company came The Iron Bull's Chargers, most of my personal inner circle, and a few extremely nervous scouts. It took us a good handful of days to reach the Hinterlands with my scouts having dashed on ahead to map and scan the area where the dragon had last been spotted.

Dorian had sent off a letter to the family retainer the night before we left, and we had to await their reply hitherto stomping our asses into Redcliffe. Best not to be taken by ambush, we had agreed. That is, of course, if the fucking dragon didn't char our nuts off from here to hell. Blackwall and Vivienne had been the two least eager to face a dragon, with Sera cackling that she'd be nowhere near one enough to get seared (thanks in all to her bow). Cole didn't care one way or another as to what we did or where we went, as long as he got to help.

Cassandra and Varric, though their differences for the moment had been settled, were also less than pleased at being roped into possible death by mauling. Varric grumbled about having to put his book on hold to avoid Cassandra catching him at work. I had assured them that if the worst of it came to fruit, they were welcome to leave me to it. I probably should have clarified that now with dragon blood running through my veins, I would have a better time of surviving the whole fiasco. Nope, they had taken it as if I planned to have them abandon me mid-fight.

Say what they would like, those two shared a sense of pride deeper than a black hole.

Solas seemed disinterested by it. I wasn't too surprised considering this half-baked-pie idea was all his, and he appeared fairly confident that with our group we would manage relatively well in bringing the creature to heel. I wish I could share his confidence, but at the very least I could fake it until I made it.

That left The Iron Bull.

My madman Qunari vibrated with excitement at the prospect of facing a dragon. I should have taken the red flag for what it was and reconsidered the whole notion of dragon-hunting, but we were already too far gone from Skyhold to turn our asses back around with regret. Harriet had been put to the test as well. He had heard the rumors of the dragon and had pestered Cullen about the situation in the Hinterlands. Our armorer wasn't about to have his people caught unawares without the appropriate butt-flap firmly attached.

I gotta admit, though, we look pretty bitchin' in our new shit.

Dorian, Vivienne, and Solas had been given new, enchanted robes that sharpened their shoulders and armored their spines (not unlike my old biking gear, I was surprised to see). Blackwall, Cassandra, and Bull had been dressed to impress with new plates of armor, sharpened weapons, and new padding. Cole, Sera, and Varric had gotten the same treatment and were decked to their heads with stronger leathers, a few new pieces to Bianca, a new bow, and wicked looking daggers.

I wasn't sure I wanted Cole as up close and personal as the heavy hitters were going to be, but we would get to that bridge in good time. The Chargers had their own gear to concern themselves over. Though most of them hadn't been equipped to go dragon-hunting, they were about as eager as their Commander.

Crazy, fucking yahoos. I could see why Bull was so attached to his men.

Dusklight Camp was set a little ways from where the dragon had last been spotted. Across the tattered land of Lady Shayna's Valley was the dragon's lair that overlooked an abandoned quarry and mountainside. As our scouts had gone ahead of us, I arrived to a map and sketches prepared of what we were going to expect. I stood closest to the table with my companions around me and my scouts, overlooking the information.

"It's female, Your Worship." Ritts unfurled the sketch she had made of the dragon. The creature was long and horned, almost what I would have expected as a 'dragon.' This mother is Huge. Ritts continued, "We've seen a few nests, but no younglings, so they may be hiding." I touched my forehead with worry, the sketch gave a poor impression of size compared to our tiny humanoid bodies.

"More than likely they are." Solas added off to my right, his hands latched behind his back. "She is no common beast, she would have noticed us skulking around her lair."

"That also means she will be prepared." Cassandra frowned, her arms crossed. "Dragons are territorial and will not hesitate to defend their lairs. She will not give us a chance to plan once she has spotted us."

"They are incredibly quick, too." Bull glanced up to Cassandra. "If the sketch is right, we're dealing with a Ferelden Frostback."

"And this means what to me, exactly?" I interjected, rattled. A slow sense of dread and cold panic shivered through my spine. An awkward, awaiting heat bubbled in my stomach and burned up my torso in retaliation. My own body at war with itself on how to react to the idea of facing down a fire-breathing, whole-ass-possibly-man-eating dragon.

Possibly.

"It means she will be resistant to fire, but not the cold." Cassandra nodded her head, her words confident. My teeth clenched hard enough to shoot pain through my temples. Cassandra continued, "We can counter a lot of her aggression by the use of cold and ice magic."

"Well, that we can certainly produce." Dorian hummed briefly, his arms also crossed over his chest, a hip cocked to one side. "She would be easy enough to hit, we shan't chance getting too close."

"No, indeed." Vivienne slipped in with displeasure, her shoulders tight from end to end. The Enchantress settled on a cocked hip. "A Frostback has thin scales on their legs, isn't that right, Lady Pentaghast?"

Cassandra cocked her head thoughtfully. "More often than not, yes. We would be able to hinder her, if we are able to get close enough to wound her."

I pinched my nose and sighed. "So… what's the battle plan? She's in a secluded area, but not in a way that we could actually get the drop on her, and we can't all get there at once, the way into her lair is a funnel."

"Have the mages go in first." Cassandra stepped up to the table and pointed to the entrance of the lair on the map. "See here? Ritts, is this an alcove? Wall? What is this?"

Ritts peered at her map. "Tis stone, Lady Seeker. It stands as a mouth before opening up into the small valley of the dragon's lair." I glanced over the impeccable drawing. It would provide cover to our mages and allow them some respite from the dragon's assault while the rest of our dumbasses ran into her mouth.

"Then you three shall stand here." Cassandra glanced up at our mages, but only Vivienne stepped forward to view the placement. Cassandra drew her finger along the path and to the ledges within the valley that shadowed the edges of the map. "These will be your cover. Dragons prefer the higher ground, you can be safe here while you cast your spells."

"And us?" Blackwall drawled, his brow furrowed in annoyance. "The dragon will come down to us eventually, unless you plan to have us jump to meet it." I glanced at him askance, surprised at his bitter tone. I had told him he didn't have to participate. Grouch. Blackwall avoided my gaze and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Now wasn't the time to pick a fight.

"Bull will be our main distraction. He can keep her head while you and I focus on her legs." Cassandra narrowed her eyes at Blackwall, having caught his tone of voice as well. She ignored it and turned her gaze to Varric. "You three shall keep your distance and stay close to the mages. Your main priority is to provide a distraction."

"Go for the eyes, yeah?" Sera grinned wickedly. "Poke 'em best we can, we will!"

Cole tipped his covered head. "She can't see me. I can make sure she doesn't get too close."

"Good plan, kid." Varric clapped Cole's arm affectionately. "With you popping in and out and Sera being a menace— we shouldn't have any trouble."

Cassandra snorted softly, her eyebrows twitching. "As for the rest of the fight, we need to have the Chargers hold off any other surprises. Her young may very well attack us while we handle their mother."

"My boys will handle it just fine." Bull smirked, his arms stretched over his head, the new armor along his shoulders whining from the strain. "They'll keep the field clear for us." A heavy silence fell over my group and my heart stuttered with a start as I realized they waited for my confirmation.

"Sounds like we know what we're doing." I choked, the heat rose higher in my chest and made me sweat under my leathers and plating. The statement felt like an absolute lie. "Check your gear, tighten your belts, we move out in ten."

Cassandra nodded, her sharp eyes catching Bull. "Have the Chargers lead the mages to the mouth of the lair. Hide for now, we'll need to rush her before they are spotted."

"Understood." Bull shifted onto his good foot and ambled back into the camp and past it. Krem and the others were seated just beyond, waiting for orders with their weapons and gear polished for the fight. I moved off to the side and ready my own armor, my fingers fiddled and fumbled over the belts and latches, the new plates heavier than what I was accustomed to wearing.

Internally, I was screaming. The quiet, distant distress of a yowl in the darkness.

"Jaime?" Cassandra found me and watched as my hands fluttered over my chest plate before she moved in and batted them away. She sighed. "Maker, girl— that is no way to tighten it."

"Sorry," I murmured with a shiver. My armpits were starting to chafe from the sweat, my upper back on fire from stress and my ears burned with fright. Everything drew itself like an inhale and sharpened to the point of painful clarity. Cassandra glanced over my face as she finished securing my plate, her hands hesitated on the edges before she dropped her hands gently against my shoulders. My gaze drew up to her face and she saw the worry etched into my mouth.

"Jaime." She tried again with a softer sense of admonishment. "Do you remember what you called me the other day?"

I blinked, confused. "... No? What did I call you?"

"Cassie." She reminded me, her voice caught on the last syllable, her mouth nervous. "Not even Anthony had given me such an obnoxious pet name."

"Oh," I winced apologetically. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out. I— you're like a sister to me, Cassandra." I corrected to the use of her full first name. There was a pause between us and she considered my face with a thoughtful gaze. Her fingers tightened over the straps of my shoulders and she nodded.

"And I consider you one of my most trusted friends. A sister, even." Cassandra murmured to me softly. I felt as if she now held me up from the fasteners of my pauldrons, my knees shook weakly at her admission. She tipped her chin and stared at me. "So, I hope you will trust that I will not let us fail. If we consider each other family— we must not lose each other now, yes?"

I shook in my plates, quiet and minutely. "Ye— yes, yeah. You catch me, I'll catch you, Cassandra."

"Good." She clapped my shoulders lightly. "Cass is easier to swallow in public. Cassie you may keep to yourself, agreed?"

"Agreed," My relieved and tender smile flooded over my mouth. "Thank you, Cass." The Chargers had slipped past us with our mages at their tails. What remained of my group waited until Cassandra and I presented ourselves to the front of the march and we followed a few paces behind the Chargers. Solas, Bull and Dorian slotted into the empty spaces behind myself and Cassandra. Blackwall had taken the rear with Vivienne and our sleuth-y archers had disappeared.

Crossing Lady Shayna's Valley was uneventful, and I wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing. There hadn't been a sign of any dragonlings or eggs, no nests, and the dragon made no attempt to follow us or overshadow our march to her lair. My spine itched under my skin and the pool of heat in my stomach swarmed into my limbs. Everything around me pricked and poked like a hot iron against my senses.

We had reached the mouth of her lair. She was curled up into a massive mound of scales and wings far off to the north of her little meadow of stone and burnt landscape. A few dragonlings chittered and argued with puffs of fire at the edges of the lair, more than a handful and much more than we expected. I glanced over to Krem and the lieutenant met my gaze with a firm, determined nod. A few castings of protective spells doused our heads and the faint glow was a small reassurance in the shadow of the alcove.

With a sharp salute of my hand, the Chargers cannon-balled into the meadow. Seconds after, as the Frostback raised her head, screams of ice sailed through the air and slammed into her open mouth and eyes. The dragonlings yowled and came for the trespassers as we invaded the lair. Bull had barreled his way in after the spells had been cast and was halfway toward the dragon by the time Blackwall, Cassandra, and I managed to catch our feet against the ground.

The dragon stood up on all fours and shook her massive head, the ice that smothered her flung off in every direction. More spells shot through the air and landed low at her feet, sparking up over her legs and forcing her back. Another vicious shake and she drew her neck high, her head reared back and jaws flared opened.

Ah. Damn.

She roared.

Instantly, all four of us in the charge to her were stunned. The force of her cry had crashed into us like a freight train, nearly knocking me back on my ass. Bull answered her threat with a battle cry of his own and the dragon immediately whipped her head around to the Qunari. With a frustrated growl, I forced my limbs to move, a heat seared through them with each leaping step I took. Cassandra and Blackwall were slower to recover but did so with enough time to brace for the next attack.

I managed to swing myself up next to Bull with a limp, dodging as the dragon's mouth snapped down between us. An arrow whistled through and pinned itself into her nose causing her to rear back and shake. Her wings spread out and with a mighty sweep, she brought them down. A whirlwind engulfed us, swallowing us closer to her and dragging our feet out from under us.

Well, all of us except Bull. The Qunari had embedded his battle-axe into the claws of the dragon's left leg. Blackwall had rolled to avoid tripping over himself, but found himself within striking distance of the creature's other leg. He swung for what he was worth with a battle-roar. Cassandra and I leveraged ourselves together and sprinted to her other legs, our axes raised high.

A scream of fire flashed around us, a border of immense heat between us and safety. I couldn't see what was happening beyond the flames, but it wasn't like I had a minute to spare. I swung my weight behind my axe and managed to cleave into her joint, catching it on a scale and yanking it loose. Her leg lifted as if to mule-kick my ragdoll body out of the way and with a hair's width of space I ducked and tumbled away from her talons. My heart was screaming in my chest, a ricocheting thudding echoed through my ears. I stood and my knees trembled violently.

There were snapping jaws just behind me. Blackwall roared and his axe bit into the meaty part of the upper leg. The scales there were barely scratched and with a threatening whip of her wings, the dragon jumped away from us and slammed back into the ground, her swings a forge's bellows. Earth, rock, and sand blew up into our faces, I raised my arm to keep the worst of it out of my eyes, but landed face first into the dirt at the tremor and shockwave from the weight of the dragon's body hitting the ground. I came up sputtering, my eyes burned from the debris.

"She's taking off!" Bull shouted. The dragon's shadow shrunk as its body lifted into the air and another smack of wind pressure slammed into my back, choking me. A pulse of heat went through my body, my heartbeat thrashed in my ears and my focus shattered for a moment. The smack of someone's chest hit my back and I stumbled, their arm coming around my waist.

"Boss, move!" Bull yanked me to one side, a spire of heat and hungry flame swam past us into the ground, turning into a ball of fire that rolled and skidded through the valley. We crashed together under a cliff's shadow, rocks and shrubbery speared into my sides and stomach from Bull's roll to get us away from the blast. He smothered me against the rocks and I could feel another wave of heat slap us like a nuke.

"Shit, Bull, up—" I shoved at his chest and he growled. With a heavy pull of his muscles, he was back up on his feet and hauling my arm to get me up as well. My battle-axe was nowhere to be seen and Bull was bleeding heavily from his left side. I swiped the dirt and grime from my eyes to scan the area.

I spotted Vivienne and Dorian at another cliff not far from us. The dragon had perched over it, desperately trying to spit fire at the mages, but Solas from another area of cover off to the right would hammer her with spears of ice every time she tried. Varric and Sera were with him, lining up their shots and releasing whenever there was a break in the spell-slinging.

Dorian was by the mouth of the entrance to the lair, next to him a heaving Blackwall with Dorian's bright blue-green hand pressed to his side. Cassandra was a little behind them, her own blade caught in the mouth of a dragonling who appeared to be trampling over Krem. The Chargers were far to the north of the valley and hemmed the worst of the dragonlings from reaching us.

I reached out and smacked Bull's arm seconds before he charged toward the battle. Fire coursed through my lungs and into my limbs, the world too bright and too loud to bear, but the rage forced me forward. The Qunari spared me a moment's glance, determination in his eyes. Whatever he saw on my face gave him pause, his shoulders dropping. My limbs itched with white-noise and my fingers tingled with retreating numbness, the nerves on fire as my brain recollected itself.

"Bring me my axe," I choked, stomping away from him. "And haul that dragon's ass away from them, Bull." I didn't give him a chance to respond as from our cover I broke into a sprint toward higher ground. If I could meet the dragon at her level, then she wouldn't escape me. The dragon roared a second time, a ringing pinged through my eardrums and I tripped enough to drop to a knee. With a weak groan, I stood, a wild sense of desperation twisted my stomach.

I won't let her escape me.

"Solas!" I barked as I found a path up to the highest point of the valley. The elf turned his head to me, his mouth pressed into a grim frown. His eyes widened upon seeing me dash past him and without another command, he swirled his staff around and fired a barrier spell at me. It sparked into blue before smothering me with a yellow, angry light.

"Cover her!" Bull's thundering voice came from behind. Skinner and Grim broke from their ranks, the last of the dragonlings had dropped into bloody masses at their feet. There were a few more dragonlings just at the edge of the nesting mountain, but with speed born of practice, Skinner dove past me into one, with Grim not far behind her. In moments, they had wrangled the dragon's young away from me, clearing the path for my stumbling.

There was a vicious roar from the dragon that was followed by the cacophonous scream of shattering ice. I continued my ascent to the creature's nest, I leapt over Grim's back and Skinner yanked the dragonling close enough for me to use it as a platform. Nearly twisting my ankle on a protruding scale, I flew from its back and tumbled back onto the path curving upwards.

"Look out!" Vivienne cried at a distance, her voice thunderous through the valley. There was another crash, a shriek from the dragon and a cast-off fireball that left my peripheral vision. Fear tightened its grip over my throat and I hurried to move my ass up onto the hilltop.

This had better work or we're all fucking screwed!

"Cassandra, Krem, move!" Bull hollered. Something shook the ground behind me, my knees buckled from the force and then another stunning roar from the dragon echoed through the valley.

It hit my back and nearly brought me down to my knees.

Again.

My hands caught and scraped along the rocks as I wrenched myself up and over, the last few steps just in front of me.

When I got to the top and peered over the edge, the dragon was down below and terrorizing my companions. Her wings pulled high with her chest inflated for another round of fire. Solas drew himself closer to Vivienne and placed a hand on her shoulder with a spell flaring between them. Bull was running from the fight toward me, in his hands my charred and burnt battle-axe. He was nearly to me just as Vivienne let out another thunderous shout.

The silent shockwave burst from her feet first, blanketing us and the valley in a ringing deafness as from her feet a billowing surge of ice and frost snarled from her center and raced toward the dragon. Those not in her immediate sphere were smacked back by the tremor and doused with a layer of snow. The dragon was not as fortunate as shards of bitter ice snapped at its feet. It inhaled and the pale, frosted air around it choked the fire in its lungs.

"Come here, you stupid lizard!" I screamed from the bottom of my stomach, my throat threaded with wicked, hot pain. The Mark in my palm rocked to life and as Bull came within arm's reach I snatched the battle-axe from him. He stumbled back at the force, but took a step to right himself and steady his balance, his good eye flickering over my face.

My mind was on fire at the sheer stupidity of my idea, red lined my vision and somewhere in the back of my head, my sanity was screaming. Not that I could hear it, though. The dragon roared and launched from the valley's floor, escaping the ice. The creature spotted me on the high end of its nest and turned in the air, rocketing in a rage toward me. Bull eyed me warily before he braced with his battle-axe and watched as the dragon dove to defend her nest.

She soared past my head, the wind-shear ripped me off my feet and I stumbled with Bull. There were shouts from below, yells from the rest of our companions as they made mad-dashes to follow the dragon. We ignored them and charged at the beast when she landed. She turned around in time to have her shriek cut off with a mighty, violent blow from Bull's axe into her chest. The creature's head whipped back and without a thought, I brought my axe around my side and swung as hard as I could over my head.

Consume!

The Mark flared from my left hand and shattered the axe. A pulse of energy rippled through the air, a beat echoed in my head and sped up to an alarming rate before meeting some invisible cusp and inhaling. A hiss cut through the noise and the sound of cracking trees swallowed the hilltop. A Rift, baleful and blackening, zipped open and gasped. My arm felt ripped from its joint as a shot of something rolled under my skin and out through my palm. There was a blast that knocked me back with the sound of hundreds of screams as the Rift began to devour the world around it.

A painful roar knocked me down a second time with an impatient slap and the dragon stumbled with an angry shake of her head. Our companions had managed to catch up to us just in time for the shockwaves to assault them, nearly all of them ate shit into the dirt and rocks of the hilltop. The dragon regained some of its senses and fought the Rift next to her, turning and twisting her head like she bit at the reins of a holster. Before the creature could snap her teeth down at Bull and myself, another screen of ice flashed up and smacked under her chin, forcing her back into the Rift's grip.

"Andraste save me, I missed!" Dorian swore, his staff shaking in his hands as he stood. He leaned on it and smacked the end into the ground, but the magic failed and he stumbled back onto his knees, heaving with sweat dripping down his face.

"Bull, get out of the way!" I snapped. The Qunari looked two-seconds away from protesting, but he growled and shifted to keep himself between the dragon's attention and our group. I held my hand out for his and with a mighty pull, he hauled my ass up onto my feet and into his chest. He backed up with his axe held defensively in front of us. The Rift whined and squealed as the dragon's jaws snapped at it, attempting to tear it apart. More and more of her was ripped from her body, scales yanked from her skin, her wings torn to shreds and half of her face had been devoured. The Rift snapped at her relentlessly.

"What in the Maker's name is that?" Vivienne snapped in alarm. Once Bull and I were close enough in her reach, she hauled us back with surprising strength and forced a minor healing spell through her palms into our bodies. I shuddered at the force of it, the energy of the Mark in my hand pulsed angrily at the intrusion and I almost vomited at the sickening sensation it left in my stomach.

"Jaime's opened a Rift," Solas growled, steadying his feet against the pull from the disaster before us. The dragon thrashed harder as less of her remained, the ground trembled with her stomping. "Brace yourselves, do not lose your footing, we may not catch you before you fall in!"

"That's fantastic news, Chuckles!" Varric barked from his cover just behind a rock near the path down the hill. Sera was nowhere to be seen, but Cole stood huddled next to Varric, his hands gripping the edges of his hat tightly against his ears. Guilt warred with my sick stomach, fuck, I didn't even think how he'd take it! The mages moved in front, with Cassandra holding Dorian against her side, and with each of their staves spiked into the ground, a weak and shimmering barrier flashed up around their group.

The pull of the Rift lessened, the ringing and roaring echoes grew distance and I could finally breathe. The sweat burned down my cheeks and over my ears, my heart drummed through my lungs into my throat and my stomach was a tornado of disapproval. Bull was shaking as he held me, he took a cautious step back and nearly tripped. He steadied himself, his arm tightening around me to keep me upright.

I hadn't realized my arms had wrapped around his torso and that I clung to him for dear life. My whole body trembled uncontrollably, painful waves of electricity and heat coursed through my muscles and I was almost certain tears mixed with my sweat. What did I do? This opening of a Rift had taken far more energy than the last attempt and my body protested violently.

"—still conscious?" Solas' voice was garbled in my ears. Slowly my brain came back into focus, words collected against my ears into nonsense, but my eyes were attempting to process the world. The dragon and Rift were gone, all that remained was the dragon's skull and bones, the nest was utterly destroyed and the Rift left no mark after its departure. I swallowed hard, my fingers dug into Bull's hip as I held on, an irrational terror flooded me that if I let go, I would vanish.

"She's conscious," Bull grunted, his arm dropping to protectively surround my head and shoulders, shielding me from the world. "She's about to snap me in half from huggin' me like she is." Embarrassment threaded through my soul and a small voice in the back of my mind screamed for me to release him, but try as I might, I couldn't. My fingers wouldn't budge, my eyes watered, and my muscles shook like a newborn.

"I am surprised that she is, it would have taken a considerable amount of energy to open a Rift of that size." Solas' feet had come closer to Bull as I could spy them under the arm that held me in place. Despite his words, Bull made no attempt to move me or shift me off and his arm tightened any time I made an attempt. I relented in the end and allowed him to keep me in place. My heart hammered in relief that I wouldn't have to face my consequences just yet.

"Can she hear us?" Varric asked, his voice raw and rough, possibly from yelling like the rest of us.

"She can," Cole answered swiftly, his own voice held a small tremble of something, but it was too quiet to identify. "The mind is shifting, thinking, clearing— but the body is frightened. She's stuck, I can't reach her." Cole's voice turned to lament, his breathing shuddered.

"Just stay out of her head for a moment, all right?" Bull growled defensively over my head. "Let her find her feet, she's coming around." His battle axe was set down somewhere and he shifted us. I moved like a limp doll against him and he sat on a nearby boulder. His arm never lifted as he dragged me to sit next to him, my head bowed into his chest and collar. I was still shaking. Fucking hell, why can't I get a grip! Nothing internally listened to my commands, nothing would relax, and everything felt like it was on fire.

"When was anyone going to advise me that our Herald had the power to open Rifts of that magnitude?" Vivienne accused the party at large. There was a moment of silence, heavy and pregnant. Someone sighed and there was a shifting of feet. I could hear myself breathe, which was better than the absolute ringing silence of just a few moments ago. My heart wasn't threatening to evict my lungs. My stomach continued to be a madman, but I could handle that.

"It was only a recent discovery." Solas answered tiredly. "I— we had recommended she not use such a power. As you can plainly see, we do not know the effects it could have on her, body and soul."

"We would have been able to handle the dragon without such an extreme decision. Maker's breath, why did you go along with it?" Blackwall growled, his voice echoed somewhere behind my back, the sound of his battle axe pommel biting into the ground made me wince before it was quickly followed by a deep, unforgiving ire.

"Because I trust her to make the call." Bull answered calmly. His breathing had leveled out and though his arm had loosened slightly, it hadn't moved away from my shoulders. I was cradled against him and as my mind cleared, my limbs relaxed. My arms kept tight around his torso, but my shoulders unhinged from my ears. Whether or not it was a lie, it helped me unwind from my terror.

"It was a stupid call." Blackwall snapped. No one else retaliated and a whisper of betrayal ghosted through my mind.

I should stop hiding, I don't need Bull to defend my actions, I may not have known what the fuck was going to happen, but I had an idea.

My hand flexed with my fingers drifting over Bull's hip. I knew I had to pull away, but every attempt was met with unknown resistance within me.

"It was a call that needed to be made." Bull replied steadily. "It was an option we had available, and she took it. Now— nope, don't start with me—I'm not here to argue whether it was right or wrong, or if it was a stupid one or not—"

"How can you sit there and just think—" Blackwall attempted to interrupt, his voice a fire.

"What did I just say?" Bull shot back patiently, his arm never leaving my shoulders. "The context of the decision isn't your problem. You don't like what she does? Leave. No one is keeping you here. You follow or you don't, end of story. Period." Another blanket of silence followed his words and with this, I knew it was time to leave my cocoon.

"She can't expect us to—" Blackwall started up again, his voice cut short when my face appeared from within the cage of Bull's arm. I rose from hiding and rolled my shoulders and leveled Blackwall with a look. My mouth opened for a moment, but I thought better of it and stood. My knees shivered and I ignored them as I faced the Warden.

"I don't expect you to just accept the things that I do." I answered, my voice a tumble of gravel. "Hell, I don't even expect you to like what I do. I appreciate the criticism, I do. But I would appreciate some civility with it. If you think—" I swallowed the last of the sentence, a tremor of fury had taken my tongue and I wasn't about to let it control the conversation.

I exhaled, my eyes closed to focus. "You need to come to terms with the fact that some of the things I can do will not be normal. I don't have the same training, the same experience as a lot of you."

"Would that not mean you should rely on us more for our experience?" Cassandra entered the conversation with a lowered chin, her eyes hard. "Perhaps in kinder words, what you did could have caused a situation none of us could control, Jaime."

"She left the battlefield. She moved to keep the dragon away from us with what she planned to do." Vivienne countered coolly before I could form a reply, surprising me. The Enchantress crossed her arms, a stern look upon her face. "We followed her, yes, but she knew the danger this would create and sought to keep us from it."

"She did," Cole agreed gently, another surprise both for Vivienne and myself. He fiddled with his hands. "She knew it was dangerous, she was terrified, but she didn't want us to hurt anymore." I winced at being labeled as terrified, as I absolutely was, but to have it said aloud was painful. Had Bull not been with me, I may have been sucked up in the Rift as well.

"Look, you snobs," Sera harped from her hiding place by a rock, extreme annoyance framed her shoulders. "You wouldn't be askin' some no-nothin' chuck to cast a fireball, wouldja? No! You wouldn't ask a mage to light a fire using sticks either, wouldja? No!"

"What's she's getting at, I think," Varric wheezed, holding in a laugh, "Is we can't ask Jaime to use the tools we have when her tools are different."

"Is' what I friggin' said." Sera pouted heavily.

"I'm not asking to be defended but thank you." I finally found my voice. My gaze swam over my companions and a sense of dread went through my chest like a shot.

Is this it?

Is this where we break?

Dorian had moved to sit near Bull, his back bent from exhaustion and his forehead in his hand for a moment before he leaned back with a sigh.

"I think we can agree that we are all extremely tired," Dorian commented lightly, "Cooler heads will prevail if we all just took a moment to return to camp and rest."

"Agreed." Bull seconded quietly. "The job got done, the dragon's dead, and we have more important things to do than squabble over the technicalities of a plan." Blackwall hadn't waited for Bull to finish before he turned on his heel and marched his way down the path. Cassandra and Solas watched him go, though only Cassandra followed after him. Soon the rest of my companions picked up their feet and headed back to camp.

I stayed, my mouth in a grim line as I stared at the dragon's skinned skull. My gaze floated down to the Mark in my hand, my fingers unfurled around it.

Was this a mistake?

Not for the first time I worried at what the implications of the choices I made meant for me and my group.

What's happening to me?