Running On Empty: I Can't Do This

(Unbeta-ed)

Note: The story follows a modern day damsel in complete distress, realism(ish) and first-person view. Read, comment, or follow to keep up with Jaime's story.

This story follows the non-linear, open world questing found in DA:I, but it does not follow the events/quest in perfect harmony. Out-of-order questing and character development abound.

Thank you, and enjoy your read!

There was a coal in my hand, burning through my palm and into my bones. My fingers were numb from how hard I clenched, but nothing I did released the tension. My hand wouldn't let go of whatever I was holding. My eyes flew open with a inhale so sharp I felt my sinuses fire up and I sneezed into a cough. Not the most graceful of ways to wake up, but at least I was awake.

Or so I thought. The woman that towered over me looked like a viper, fanged and bitter and vengeful. I inhaled again to speak, but her hand snapped out and snagged my wrist, bringing my burning hand up to the forefront. I blinked hard and nearly vomited on her feet - my hand was glowing. My attention was brought back to her as she yanked on my wrist, her mouth moving.

"I - what?" I missed all of it, not a single word she had said entered my brain. Another woman swam into my watery vision, cloaked and stern like her partner, but not as forceful. The viper was made to release my hand and I tumbled forward in alarm. This time, I did vomit, much to the disgust of the two ladies in front of me. I blinked hard and took a quick look around me, but it did me no good, my vision was still blurred by my tears and the room was dark and dank. I could feel the moisture through my knees and in the air I breathed now. Where am I?

"We need her, Cassandra." One of them muttered, clearly displeased. No, please, by all means, I would rather not be needed by anyone in my current state. The vomit was on my hands and it did nothing to cover the glowing crater that was my left palm. I swallowed against another violent heave of my stomach and wished it had picked a different time to protest. Was that pasta? When was the last time I ate pasta?

I was yanked again, this time up to my feet and I stumbled even more when I was suddenly slapped by a case of indecision and vertigo. To walk or not to walk, and my capturer left no room for argument, so I walked. I was dragged outside and the blinding sky stabbed my eyes and brought more tears into my vision. Now I could not see at all aside from the green tint that colored the sky above me.

"It is the Breach. The sky ripped open and demons now pour out in masses." My viper explained. My head reared back with a snap and I shook my head, eyes glued to the giant, blistering scar in the clouds.

"No, that's impossible!" Demons! What demons? The only demons I had ever heard of were from a bygone age of my poor Catholic grandmother saving me from hell. I stared and stepped forward, alarmed by how casually this woman could just talk about demons. My hand flared to life, angrily annoyed that it had been forgotten for so long, and the lightning it struck through me shot up my limb and rendered me numb. My knees shook and I dropped like a sorry sack of potatoes.

"It's connected to your mark." The woman was closer and in the green light of terror I could see her face; less viper, but no less bitter. Her pretty face was contorted and she had no love for me, for whatever I had done to piss her off. She pointed to my hand and I looked down instinctively, the scar across my palm impossibly real and glowing still. "Each time the Breach expands, your mark grows. We feel it may be connected, and that this," she yanked my wrist again, the shackles I wore clinking, "may be the only way we have to stop it."

"This is insane!" I snapped and took back my body part, pulling from her grip with all the strength I could muster. I think it was only because I yelled at her and startled her that I was able to pull away, I wasn't an idiot, I could clearly see the sword on her hip and the shadow of a shield at her back. Where the fuck was I?

The woman growled at me, "Hundreds of people are dead because of this, and you may be the only one who can stop it!" A crowd was starting to gather around us, people covered in strange, rustic clothing. I shifted my hips back and attempted to wiggle away, but the woman grabbed my ankle to stop me, her glare intensifying tenfold. "You will either face this Breach or face my sword, it is your decision, prisoner!"

I stopped and stared, from her hand on my ankle to her face. Prisoner? Where was I that prisoners were coerced and locked up in shackles? What was this, a renaissance fair? I glanced back up at the sky and my body shook as I answered her, "I c-can't do anything! I - you have no idea if this w-would actually work!"

"We are dead either way, one must at least try!" She growled and shook her grip on my ankle. I flinched at her strength; confirmed now that I only managed to escape her hold the last time because I startled her with my outburst. I looked up at the sky again and swallowed. This was insane, this was fucking insane, I couldn't do this, I couldn't do what she wanted!

"Prisoner!"

"Alright!" I screamed. The tears were renewed and I wasn't sure if I cried out of fear of her, or what I was just forced into facing. "A-alright, I'll come, I'll f-follow you." I sobbed as she nodded and took me by the arm, hot tears streaming down my face as I was marched as if to the gallows (right? Because what else would they fucking have here) and the weight of the crowds' stares bore down around me, burning my shoulders. I stared at our feet and wondered at the sight, she wore high, hard boots, made of some kind of leather I couldn't recognize. My boots were made of a strong cow leather, but nothing at all like what she had.

I was dressed for riding my motorcycle, a tight, leather jacket, armored along with my pants, my gloves were gone (they probably took them when the glowing shit appeared on my hand), and my boots. I don't know who looked weirder, her and her armor and shield and sword, or myself dressed like some kind of leather-bound book with shackles next to her, dragged along like a dead cat.

"Open the gate! We're heading to the Breach!" I looked up as she yelled and watched as the crowd parted around us as we walked, the guards ahead of us pulling the massive wooden door open. The people around us surged like a wave, away from the door and into their tents. I felt for them, more so now as I walked to certain death, because there was no way I was going to stop this, and this madness would come for them eventually. I'm so sorry.

"They want retribution." My captor growled; another yank to my arm. "The Breach destroyed the Conclave and the Temple of Ashes, and you were the only one to come out alive. Our Most Holy is dead and we are left with..." She exhaled and swallowed the rest of her sentence. I closed my eyes and more tears spilled, I was trapped with religious fanatics, and that was just peachy. I refused to apologize, even if the words were at the tip of my tongue, instinctive and ready. This wasn't my fault, none of this was my fault.

Once we hit past the gate that held back the world, she had us at a run. I jogged alongside her as best I could, but she had a longer stride than me, most likely taller than I was, or more accustomed to covering ground with her legs rather than another form of transportation. Once more, I was struck by a sudden, shrill, mental shriek of where am I and it fell dead on my tongue, because who here would care? Certainly not my viper, and certainly not the mutinous crowd back in the fortifications. Wherever I was, I was alone.

She was explaining something again, but I ignored it, I was focused on keeping myself running (and vaguely hoped I would be run off a cliff if my viper proved angry enough). I only stopped when the sky screamed and lurched above us, the clouds sailing away and a pulse of terrified heat went through my palm and back up my arm. I'm getting really fucking tired of that, my throat constricted and I gave a strangled, gasping scream as I dropped and ate dirt as I crashed face first into the icy ground.

My viper was immediately on me and pulled me up, her hands on my shoulders. I was still sobbing, apparently, because she hesitated and her hand came up to my face, wiping away the tears as they piled up on my cheeks and slipped down my face. I turned away from her hand and brushed what I could of my face against my shoulder. Her voice was soft, or at least softer than before, "It's the Breach. Every time it has expanded, we've seen your mark grow. This may end it." It wasn't the words of Gospel, but it was something. I sniffed hard and rubbed my nose on the leather sleeve under the shackles of my wrist and stood when she prompted me. My knees were still shaking.

"Come," she murmured once I was steady, "We're almost there."

Again, no huge comfort, but it was a means to an end; because this couldn't be anything else than a nightmare. Another hard sniff and I locked my knees as I ran, a jarring experiencing, but it kept me upright and prepared me marginally for any surprise shocks that rained down from above. We reached another gate way, it led to a bridge and I hesitated, slowing as my viper sped past me. I ducked my head when she stopped and trotted up to her obediently.

She sighed, "After this, sh -"

It was classic, really. It shouldn't have been so funny, but I was hysterical. I screamed and it strangled itself into a laugh as we were shot by a bolt of green lightning, the groundwork exploded under us and the viper and I were separated. Panic, true and new and revived, flared in my chest. She was it, she was the only one that was my anchor, no one else would watch out for me, not if what she said was true about retribution. Whatever had happened, whatever had created this Breach was connected to me, I would be dead by nightfall if she was gone, if the Breach didn't kill me first.

I came up with a scream, nonsensical and empty. My viper was gone and around me were the ruined bodies of other unfortunate souls. I crawled away from the cracking ice under me and reached for the nearest thing. A long sledgehammer type item, with a broken metal head, but reinforced wooden handle. It was something and it was enough for whatever it was that was sliding up behind me. I turned and swung with whatever I had left in me after my hysteria.

It mattered, too, because whatever the fuck it was that had just prowled up on me was the thing of straight, acid-induced nightmares. It was cloaked in tattered and shredded skin, blackened as if burnt crispy, and bloodied from its head down to its nonexistent feet. Another wild scream escaped me and I swung harder, bringing the sledgehammer up and over my head and shoulder before I drove it into the skull of the approaching monster.

A demon, my viper's voice echoed through my head. It smelt of rot and anti-freeze and vomit, and vomit I nearly did (for the second, or third time today), but I took another wild flail of my arm and caught it with a nasty slap of metal to its cheek. The creature howled and burst into flames, sparking like electricity soon after and dissipating into the frosted wind. I shook with my labored breathing, nothing I inhaled stayed with me, vertigo and nausea warred with my stomach and finally I gave up and rolled over to press my forehead to the iced surface of the lake.

"Drop your weapon." My viper was behind me, her voice about as icy as the wind that surrounded us. I laughed and my breath fogged the surface of the lake, my body shook with my effort to look up at her. Her sword was pointed at me and I realized I still clung to the sledgehammer like a lifeline. I dropped it and kicked it toward her from my prone position on the ice.

"Y-you're kidding me, r-right?" Goddamn it, I was crying again. Yet another wave of tears, but I spat at her. "Take the g-goddamn thing! N-nothing here is g-going to save me, n-not even you!" The wind picked up around us and pulled at my jacket and froze my hands, or rather, my right hand froze than my left. I swallowed at the thought of the unworldly thing that slept in my palm and cried harder, hoping against everything that these demons obeyed some laws of physics and didn't come bursting from my hand as they were from the sky.

"... No, I'm sorry." She moved closer and picked up the hammer, placing it in my hand as she righted me to look over my face. Her expression pinched and it pulled at the scars along her cheek, but she relented with a sigh and tightened my grip on the handle. "I cannot expect you to go defenseless, and I cannot always protect you. Take it, I shall remember that you gave up your weapon willingly."

"Hah," I scoffed darkly, but wrapped my hand around the sledgehammer. It was a busted, old thing, but it would do. I spied the swords and shield that were scattered around us on the lake, bows and quivers of arrows, but those would do nothing for me, I had no practice with them, nor the patience to learn on the fly (and there was a chance, a high chance, that I would hit my viper in the back of the head if I tried). I stood on wobbly legs and jelly knees and followed her again, up along a slope and down to another valley. As we got closer, the sounds of weapons biting and people screaming drew closer.

"You can hear them fighting still!" My viper had taken the lead, carving a path through the snow with her boots and shield. I tripped along behind her, on her heels like a hound and braced against the wind. We dove down into another valley that spread into a lake, or continued from the lake that we had crossed. More demons were shot down from the sky and swarmed us, some new and wrapped in green, ghostly sighs that spat their essence at us and fled from the Viper's blade.

I stayed close, or as close as I could with her swinging like a madwoman. I didn't dare help more than needed, she clearly possessed a skill for her weaponry that I could only sniff at, and she handled herself well enough. I stayed at her back and flailed madly at anything that tried to come up from behind her. My hammer felt useless, it swam through the demons like butter and I felt little to no impact with some of them, but it made them disappear and that was good enough for me.

"Keep going, we are almost there!" She had turned on me once the last of the demons had been dealt with and shoved me ahead of her. I wasn't sure if that was for safety or precaution, but I wasn't going to ask, my feet had already taken command of my path and trudged me up the hill and over a crest, coming to a decimated series of walls and buildings. My eyes grew wide as I spied the battle before us, multiple figures drowning in the shade of green light that poured right from the middle of nothing. A scar, green and glowing and angry, floating in midair and spewing demons. The viper came up behind me and shoved; I had no choice in the matter, after all.

I fell into the fight and swung at the first thing that came at me, another of those demons that appeared to be wearing cloaks of burnt skin. I dug in my heel and gripped the wooden handle like a baseball bat and funneled my rage and fear into the swing. All this madness, all this chaos, because of them, my life in the balance in the favor of death because of them. Hell yes, they were going to feel it. If I was going to die, then I was going to make sure these bastards felt every inch that we had to fall together.

"Cassandra, here!" A new voice, male, shouted from downwind and my viper (Cassandra, I heard that name before I think), came up behind me and led me to the center of the fight, where the split in the air hissed and sparked at anything around it, lashing out with tendrils of energy and spitting out a demon here and there for good measure. A man came up beside me and took a firm grip over my wrist and hauled it up to the scar, I nearly yanked back as something pulled from within my palm, something felt latched to the tendon of my wrist and it bit down hard, pulling me forward.

"The fuck you don't!" I shouted at nothing, wiggling in the other man's grip and pulling. He sensed my shift, it seemed, and pulled with me, dragging a long length of the green whipping energy with me, it fought somehow and hissed as I yanked again with the man's help, pulling it shut like a snapping door. The green scar howled and exploded, I ducked my head to avoid the blast since I was so close to it, and waited until the green tint around me cleared. I came up and straightened with a gasp for air, my eyes searching for Cassandra.

The relief on her face was palpable, and I hated it that I wanted it as much as she did.

"It seems my theory was correct." The other man intoned next to me, his gaze on my palm. "The mark on her hand can seal the rifts."

"Well, good." Someone said behind me and I whipped around to look, and then looked down. A stocky, well-built, short man with a crossbow as big as he was cradled in his arms grinned at me. "I thought we would be ass deep in demons forever."

I looked at my palm, the light faint but still pulsing. "I guess I can be of some use..."

"It means it could also close the Breach." Cassandra came up to my other side, wary and weary. I knew she expected me to bolt, but at this point, there was no chance I would get anywhere. I was here, and this nightmare was soon to end. I had seen enough to know this wasn't my world, wasn't my home, it wasn't my problem. I would be gone soon enough.

I hoped, anyway.

"Possibly," the first man brought us back to reality. My gaze came back up to his face and I jumped, startled, at the sight of his ears. He gave me a wane smile and my face flared with a heated blush of embarrassment. "It seems you hold the key to our salvation, there, in the palm of your hand." The faintest smile came across his lips for the briefest of seconds and I wondered if he knew the true irony of his statement. The shorter man stepped up to the group and bowed his head to him with a slight tip of his chin.

"Varric Tethras. Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally, unwelcome tag-a-long." He winked past me, aimed for the viper, and the woman sneered at the gesture, shifting on her feet as if to avoid the affection. Not friendly then, I mused. Wonderful, maybe the famous quote of 'enemy of my enemy' would fit cozy between the three of us.

"I'm sorry," I hiccupped, the cold gripped my throat. "I - I'm a bit lost when it comes to introductions." It was the best I could do, I mean seriously, was I going to spend an ungodly amount of time explaining to these people where I had come from or that I had no idea what I was doing here, with them? A religious fanatic at one side, a pointed-eared man at the other, and now a dwarf at my front. If this wasn't a circus, I wanted a refund.

"I'm a prisoner, like you." Varric explained cheerily, a hand to adjust his other glove. I gripped my hands tight, painfully aware of the cold that nipped at my right hand and ignored my left.

"I brought you here to tell your story to the Divine." Cassandra hissed. "Clearly, that is no longer necessary. No one is asking you to stay." Both Varric and I shared a moment as we snorted together at Cassandra's words. She flustered, her cheeks pinked, and Varric flashed me another grin. Alright, so maybe he wasn't so bad.

I smiled, "It's good to meet you, then, Varric."

A small scoff from the man beside me. "You might reconsider that stance, in time." I raised my eyebrow and turned on one heel gently to the man beside him. His arms tight at his sides and hands behind his back, his expression neutral and quiet.

"Aw, I'm sure we'll become great friends in the valley, Chuckles." Varric answered readily.

"Absolutely not." Cassandra butted in, her presence coming close to my back. "Your help is appreciated, Varric, but -"

"Hold on one fucking minute." My voice snaked through the conversation unraveling before me. Cassandra bounced a bit on her heel, once more startled by my intrusion, and both Varric and the other man had their eyebrows shoot up their foreheads. I turned to Cassandra, heated and chapped. "You're not honestly turning him away, are you? Think for two seconds, aside from this fucking thing," I waved my glowing hand for good measure, in case she forgot its existence, "I am utterly useless in a fight. This act I got going with my hammer? I'm faking it. Don't send him away."

"... do you think she missed the staff on Chuckles' back?" Varric ventured gently, his gaze roaming over my face. I knew I sounded insane, but if they had been on my side of the fence, it was pennies in change to what they sounded like from my end. I huffed and turned to look at 'Chuckles,' and yes indeed, their was a long and elaborate staff protruding from his shoulder behind his back. The hell is that for? A quarterstaff, maybe? Like the ninja I had seen in the movies, but he was hardly dressed to fight with such an unruly weapon. The other man narrowed his eyes at me and with a sudden pressure at the bottom of my stomach, I felt extremely exposed. I tipped my chin down and squared my shoulders, ready to run if he took one too many steps toward me, fuck Cassandra at my back.

"Can I have a real name?" I interrupted his gaze, shifting on my feet with my weight leaning on the upturned handle of the sledgehammer. I didn't like it, not one bit, not a single second of his gaze was comforting. He saw something and this was my dream and to hell with having creepy things follow me beyond it.

"My name is Solas," he answered, his gaze transformed into something distant, "I am pleased to see you yet live." I blinked hard at him, the hell is that supposed to mean?

"He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.' If it helps." Varric chirruped behind me, gleeful almost as Solas shot him a quick stare. I clenched my left hand and felt the heat of the mark lick along my fingers, the warmth a distraction from the ice that raced through my blood, ignoring the protection of my jacket and armored pants.

"... thank you." I said at long last. Regardless of what I had been through, to know that someone attempted at the very least to help me, even for selfish reasons, earned it. I mimicked Varric and bowed my head slightly and it seemed to appease Solas, his demeanor softened considerably. New tricks, meet old dog. "I take it you know a lot about this thing, huh?"

"Solas is an Apostate." Cassandra offered from behind me. The word meant nothing to me, aside from perhaps being a nasty term for an unfortunate medical condition.

"Technically," Solas shot a look between Cassandra and me, "All mages are apostates now, with the Circles gone." His gaze leveled back on me and I swallowed, frozen to my spot with the hammer loose in my hand. "My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to assist in any way that I could." My head swam, because now there was a lot more to this story than I was willing to remember. This had to be a dream, right? But what dream became this elaborate? None that I ever had, that was for damn sure. I swallowed again and nodded, turning my gaze away.

"What now, then?" My gaze landed on Cassandra. Solas unnerved me and I needed a break from his inspection. He knew something, or was a bit more aware of my dream than I was. I hated that, I hated when someone else in my dream had the out-of-body experience aside from myself. That was completely unfair.

"We continue." She answered readily with a nod of her head toward the Breach that hung above us. "We need to make it to the forward camp and hope that Leliana and the others have survived. Come." Cassandra turned on her heel and led it over a broken wall and down a path into a valley split in sections by a twisting river.

"Seeker, your prisoner is no mage, you know this, yes?" Solas spoke up from behind. My back chilled under my armored jacket, I could feel his eyes at the back of my skull and I determinedly kept my eyes forward. I wouldn't fall into whatever trap he felt like placing at my feet, I was enough trouble as it was, thank you very much.

"Yes, I saw." Cassandra growled. "But she can command the mark and seal the rifts."

"No mage would have that power, no one can produce the amount of magic it would take to rip open the Veil." Solas came up further from behind, running past me to get to Cassandra and trot beside her. I was starting to have a stitch come into my side from the running. I wasn't a push over, but running nearly nonstop through icy winds and compact snow made the body and limbs protest a bit sooner than average.

The dwarf behind me wasn't complaining despite being at the end of the group. I stayed in the middle of our running herd, I had not the faintest clue as to where we were going or where we needed to go and I didn't want to be the one that ran head first into a dead end. Cassandra led us straight down some cobbled steps before the Breach screamed and spat out more demons.

"Demons ahead!" Solas immediately parked his heels in the snow back and swiftly pulled his staff down across his hip from his back and to my choked surprised, fired a bolt of lightning from the tip of it. The heat of the strike was immense and my brain playfully corrected, that's plasma, not light. Mercy, this was not what I needed today. Cassandra dove into the fray with her shield across her chest and sword snapped back her hip, Varric watched her back with a volley of arrows from his crossbow.

I froze.

"She could use some help there, you know!" Varric called from beside me on the hill. I swallowed, my hands shook as I adjusted my grip on my hammer and slipped down the bank with less grace than Cassandra. I stumbled up behind her and true to whatever training she had, she shifted to accommodate my presence, shielding my blindside as I turned to face the monsters.

I wasn't trained for this. I rode motorcycles and went swimming and played casual baseball on the weekends. This was not my deal, this was not me! I heard another clang from behind me, Cassandra shouting in pain. Bile came up and scorched my throat; I gripped my sledgehammer and wound up for the incoming pitch. The demon snarled a gaping hole of a mouth at me and charged. I counted the seconds until it reached over my imaginary home plate and swung.

There was a sickening crack that startled my follow through and my sledgehammer dropped as my momentum was retracted. The demon yowled angrily, but a swift and sudden arrow shot through its eye socket (there was one? Why was there only one eye?) and it crumbled before disappearing into a gasp of sparks. I turned briefly to spot Varric, but he had already turned his attention to covering Cassandra in her charge. Solas slipped down the snow bank and onto the river's surface with ease and I shuddered at the realization that he wore nothing, no shoes, not even socks.

"You're gonna get frostbite." I said stupidly when he was in earshot. Solas stumbled a bit, his eyes momentarily wide with surprise and he huffed a small chuckle.

"If I do, I should be the first elven mage to do so." He replied. I wasn't sure what that meant either - Fade, the Veil, demons, all these things I didn't know - but there wasn't a time to find out. Past me, Cassandra and Varric had crossed the frozen river and with Solas' hand on my elbow, I followed. A cottage on the other side was ablaze, tattered and beaten with flames that melted the snow around it. Cassandra led us up a flight of stone steps and I was herded to be in the middle of the group.

"So." Varric called from behind me. How did he always end up back there? "Are you innocent?" I glanced at Cassandra's back as she jogged up the steps, worried that she would snarl my guilt. She remained silent, though, and I tentatively looked over my shoulder and shrugged as best I could over my breathing and laboring with a heavy hammer.

"I... I don't remember what happened." Which was in all parts; truth. I didn't know what happened to give me this damned mark in my left palm, and I certainly had no idea how I ended up in a throw-back time of the 1800s (if that, because the complexity of Varric's crossbow left a lot of plot holes for that theory) or why I was suddenly on a crusade with a rag-tag team of misfits from all across different fantasy genres. It was a mess, to put it simply.

"Ah," Varric laughed, "Should'a spun a story, makes it more believable."

"That's what you would have done." Cassandra snapped from ahead of us.

Varric chuckled as he came up to my right side. "It helps prevent any premature execution. Worked for me." Cassandra snorted from high up on the steps, but she was given no time to response before another pack of demons was on us. This was getting exhausting. My arms were trembling from the effort of just holding onto my sledgehammer, lest of all trying to swing it. Still, the others didn't complain, and Cassandra was already putting herself at the head of the fight, the least I could do was attempt to keep up with her.

The demons feel sooner this time, which was a bit suspicious, but I wasn't going to question it too much. It might have been the mere fact that we had doubled our party since the start, and it made for good field clearing. As the demons dropped, Cassandra took a moment to swipe the grime from the blade and she hefted her shield higher in her grip. She looked up further along the hill and sighed.

"I hope Leliana made it through all this." Cassandra allowed a flicker of remorse to flash over her face. I felt a tug of sadness for her, this madness wasn't just destroying my life, but hers as well. Dream or no, this shit was going too far and hurting too much. Varric shouldered his crossbow and walked past us, taking the lead this time.

"She's resourceful, Seeker." Varric comforted. "I'm sure she did just fine."

"In any case." Solas startled me and I jumped when his voice appeared directly over my shoulder. I glared as he stood, poised, on the steps, his hands once more behind his back. "We shall see once we reach the forward camp. I suggest we make haste, we are almost there." Cassandra nodded with a sigh and sheathed her sword. I closed my eyes for a small moment of reprieve and then heaved my hammer up onto my shoulder instead of dragging it behind me. The three of them led in front of me, my tired limbs barely keeping me on their heels. The wind whipped around me and my jacket was doing very little in the way of protection now. Curiously, I placed my left palm to my neck with a wince (pray that no demons spat forth) and sighed in relief as the warmth of the mark melted the stiffness in my neck.

I quickly put my hand down; I was not about to develop Stockholm's Syndrome with my hand.

"Another rift!" Cassandra called. I sighed with regret and sped up my pace. That was my cue, after all, no one else was capable of doing a damn thing about this scars in the air, and since this was my dream, I might as well do what I could for these poor, miserable people I sucked into my nightmare. Solas, true to his form, planted himself away from the main battle and rained fire down on whatever demon managed to get too close. Varric laid a heavy cover of arrows for Cassandra as she dove toward the other fighters and drew the demons off them.

Blindly, I ran to the center of the battle and raised my hand, praying that I wasn't about to stupidly leave myself open to fire on a hunch. The sensation was much the same as the first time; something reached out and bit with sharp teeth into my tendon, gnawing at the muscle under the skin of my wrist and desperately pulled, trying to haul my ass into the rift.

"No, you don't get to do that!" I snarled, reflexively twisting my wrist in a disarm as if to grab whatever had taken my arm hostage and I yanked back. Something screamed from within the rift and pulled harder, but I was not about to have my sorry ass dragged into another goddamn nightmare. My fingers gripped the green whip of light and I took a lengthy step back, pulling from the stretch of my back and shoulder. The rift resisted for a moment more before it relented with a wail and released me.

I stumbled back from the sudden absence of a counter-weight and felt hands at the small of my back. With a glance, I spotted Solas behind me and he nodded, oddly pleased. I shook myself out of his hold and ducked my head as I followed Cassandra and Varric through the latest gate, with a turn and onto another bridge, we found ourselves surrounded by more people, scared and paled, but alive.

"There she is." Cassandra breathed in relief. Ahead I could spy the previous woman who had been in the dank chamber with me, who saved me from the viper's bite. I swallowed as we neared, her argument with a robed man soon cut short once we were within range. The man, dressed like a priest in white and pink, scowled at us heavily, but the other woman - Leliana, it must have been - was relieved, though briefly.

"You made it." Leliana smiled at Cassandra and then through a quick glance at me. "You. Chancellor Roderick, this is -"

"I know who she is." The priest snapped. He glared at me, willing my bones to melt with the look, I'm sure. "And as Grand Chancellor, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeux to face execution." My inhale was painful, my diaphragm protesting the squeeze under my lungs that iced my blood straight through to my bones. Cassandra reared up beside me, just like the viper I had seen before in my imprisonment.

"Order me?" She snarled. "You're a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat."

"And excuse you," I wasn't about to let myself be a bowling pin, I leveled my hammer's head on the table. It was gentle, not the enraged swing I wanted to toss, because we needed to keep some semblance of peace amongst us. "If you hadn't noticed, there's a giant fuck you hanging over our heads and it's not gonna wait for our petty grievances to air themselves out!"

The group around me had gone silent. Cassandra seemed torn between agreement and chastisement. Leliana, for all the little that I knew of her, smirked in either pride or amusement. Solas coughed behind me and it did nothing to cover Varric's chuckling. The 'Chancellor' pulled his chin up from his chest and placed his hands on the table; I took a vicious boost to my ego seeing that he was just my size. This guy, unlike the demons I had fought, I could take in a bar fight.

"And it seems we have more than just one thug!" Roderick glared between Cassandra and me. "One of them who supposedly served the Chantry!"

"We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor." Leliana cut in, cold and cutting. The Chancellor wilted a bit under her words, but drew himself up when his gaze found mine again. I couldn't help the tugged snarl that rested on my lips, my hammer's head sliding a bit over the table's surface.

"Justinia is dead!" The Chancellor answered with a raise of his hands, his gaze flashing between the three of us that surrounded him. Smartly, the men stood behind us, and I wasn't entirely sure it was for their protection, but rather to watch as this shit show unfolded. "We must elect a new Divine and obey her orders on the matter."

"Do you honestly think the world is going to wait for that?" I snapped, enraged that my dream was twisting about this nonsense. Since when did I have to obey bureaucratic laws? In a dream, no less. The hell I was going to sit here and listen to my grandmother's old priest prattle to me about laws and rites and duties. "There is a god-knows how fucking big split in the sky that desperately needs our attention and waiting to elect a new head of state because we can't pull our thumbs out from our ass without permission seems pretty damn inconsequential in comparison!" Once more I apparently stunned my group into silence. I would have to watch how liberally I used my swear words from this point forward, if I survived this.

I'm going to wake up, it don't matter, my mind tried to correct me. Less and less did I feel it was telling the truth.

"Quite." Solas chirruped from behind me, inordinately pleased at the state of us all. Bastard.

"You brought this on us in the first place!" Roderick snarled back, and if it wasn't for the cold, I would have bet he spit just the smallest amount from the force of his objection. His darkened eyes shot to Cassandra as she approached the table and he straightened, his voice hard; "Call a retreat, Seeker, our position here is hopeless." Is this what I sounded like? No wonder Cassandra had lost her patience with me, a hopeless fanatic was never a good thing.

"We can still do something, it is not too late." Cassandra tried to reason, her hand heavy on the table near my hammer. I pulled it back and stepped between Varric and Solas; this wasn't my fight anymore. This was well above my pay grade. Varric shot me an amused look, but I ignored it. Something twisted in my gut that this was not going to end well.

"How?" The Chancellor asked in defeat. "You won't survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers."

"We must get to the Temple as quick as possible." Cassandra argued, looking to Leliana as the other woman stepped forward.

"It's not the safest, we can take the mountain pass while the soldiers create a distraction on the other side." Leliana pointed up and over the Chancellor, to a path I couldn't see. I swallowed and glanced down at Varric; the dwarf could only offer me a shrug for comfort and I took it for what little it was worth with a sigh.

"We lost contact with a group through that pass when this chaos happened." Cassandra turned to Leliana with a scowl. "We cannot afford to take a path so risky with the prisoner."

"Jaime." I felt compelled to interrupt. Both women paused and turned to look at me, with Solas and Varric sharing their surprised interest. I cleared my throat and palmed the pommel of my sledgehammer as it leaned against my leg. "If we're going to send me to my death, at least know my name. It's Jaime." It was then that the Breach over our heads decided to join our conversation and cracked open, a new flash of green echoed through the sky and the clouds shuddered, my left hand lit up like a flare and I winced, dropping my hammer and gripping my wrist at the bright heat.

"... how do you think we should proceed?" Cassandra addressed me. Surprised, my gaze snapped up to her face and saw the seriousness etched into her mouth. She was deadly serious, indeed. I looked between Leliana and Cassandra, but neither woman deemed it necessary to save me from the attention bestowed upon me, so I turned my gaze finally to Cassandra, incredulous.

"You're asking me?"

"This is your decision, as it is the mark on your hand that will either save or doom us." Cassandra replied hotly, her gaze a mere flicker down to my hand. A hard swallow stuck in my throat and I looked up at the sky, the mountain path that was invisible to me, and then a clear path where previous soldiers hand tromped through the snow to get to the battle field. Safety in numbers, my brother always said. I could do numbers, we needed numbers. I nodded to myself and brought my eyes to Cassandra, resigned.

"We charge with your soldiers." I darkly answered, my glare over her shoulder to the Chancellor. "I won't survive long enough for this fu - friggin' party to last beyond the first dance, so let's get it over with now." I was going to wake up, I had to believe that. This was just some elaborate dream brought on by too much sugar or too much food or something. This couldn't be real, and these people, I could live with the guilt of seeing them die once I was awake, in my bed or in an insane asylum, but at least I would be awake.

Cassandra accepted my response and turned on her heel to lead us into doom. One more hard swallow in my dry throat and I reached down for my sledgehammer, picking it up one last time with some effort and followed her willingly. Varric and Solas were not too far behind, and soon after, a squad of soldiers followed in our wake. We climbed up the snowy banks in a beaten path that had been trotted upon by other soldiers before us. Up around the brush and down into another battlefield, and from there it was just a slog to get to the end, where the rest of the soldiers were holding off the demons.

My arms were screaming by the end of it, heavy with exhaustion and I felt tears prick along the corners of my eyes. My back and shoulders burned, itched, and trembled with each swing. It was almost a blessed relief when I managed to fight my way to the rift and yanked it shut with nothing more than a wince at the ever-present bite that was the tradeoff. My knees shook and I wanted to drop, but Solas was behind me, a hand on my shoulder.

"Sealed," he murmured, congratulatory, "as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this."

"Let's just hope it works on the big one." Varric added behind Solas. I sighed heavily and scuffed my boot at him.

"Encouragement," I tiredly teased, "I need encouragement."

"Tell you what." Varric chuckled, his crossbow resting comfortably in his arms as he stepped toward me. "We make it out of this, I'll buy you a drink."

"I'm certainly going to need it." I muttered darkly. There was movement behind me, not because I heard it, but because Solas' eyes passed over my shoulder and focused on something in the distance. With my heel turned, my hands clenched against the pulsing warmth (it had gotten worse the closer we came to the Breach), I found the viper with a new companion. A man, tall and smothered in fur along his shoulders, with blond curls protruding from his head, a scar through his lip and eyes set into a steely gaze.

"Lady Cassandra." The man greeted her with some relief. "You managed to seal the rift? Well done."

"Not I, Commander." Cassandra turned to me and for some inexplicable reason I felt my face heat up, from my neck up to my ears. The 'Commander' made his way toward me and I stiffened; I was once more a mere child under the eyes of my parents. I swallowed and squared my shoulders, hiding my marked hand behind my back. Cassandra sighed, "This has all been the work of the prisoner - Jaime."

"Is it?" He accused. He appeared as weary as I did, as we all did. His shoulders rolled under his fur and sighed. "I can only hope they're right about you, we lost a lot of people coming up here."

"I can't promise anything." I lamely replied, feeling out of my depth with the chaos and destruction around me. What if this is real? I couldn't let my mind wander like that. I bowed my head as I had seen Varric do, my newest trick that seemed to get me far in this world. "But I can try my best."

"That's all we can ask for, at this point." The Commander nodded his head and stepped back. "Head to the Temple, the way should be clear. Leliana will be waiting for you." He exhaled roughly and leveled Cassandra with one more look, heavy and exhausted and riddled with sorrow. She met it and bowed her head, I suppose it was the only response anyone could give in such a dire situation.

"Thank you." It was all I could offer.

"Give us time, Commander. We shall see this to the end." Cassandra added lowly, her hand on the pommel of her sword and shield lowered.

"We will. Maker watch over you - for all our sakes." With that, he turned and retreated with his men to regroup. A moment passed through my mind, curious as to the use of the word 'Maker' with a definite capital M, but now was not the time. It made sense, a little, that their God would be called something so simplistic, but now wasn't the time for philosophical conversation. I need to wake up. The nightmare is almost over. I followed Cassandra down into the ruined mass that used to be their Temple.

It was almost instant how quickly the tears sprung up into my eyes. There were bodies littered all over the place, some prone on the ground, others charred into still-life, caught in their escape from the place and burnt alive in a flash fire. I walked up to one such body, hand thrown over their head to shield themselves as best they could. I wiped at my cheek and Varric came up beside me, his face unreadable.

I swallowed, my voice tight. "I d-didn't do this."

He hesitated, his gaze frozen on my face. He finally nodded, "I know, sweetheart. Come on. It's almost over." We were led away by Cassandra who drove us hard through the ruins and the burnt walls. She wanted to see it even less than I did, I'm sure. This Temple meant nothing to me, but the people, innocent, unknowing individuals that had been taken by surprise by something that I may have caused - with an explosion, a devastation connected to me.

It was surreal, knowing you were someone's atomic bomb.

"The Temple of Sacred Ashes." Solas murmured.

Varric huffed and shouldered his crossbow. "What's left of it, anyway."

There was a flash of green over my head and I turned up to see the Breach, a monstrous scar that tore through the sky, but beyond it held no stars or space or planets, nothing like one would think or had seen in the movies. It was volatile, a roaring sea of green and form and figures that thrashed against the breaking seams of the barrier.

"In there is where you walked out from the Fade." Cassandra's stare bore into me. "They say there was a woman behind you when you appeared. No one knows who she was." There was a pregnant pause, as if she wanted confirmation of the happenings that destroyed this place. My head ducked, my chin down to my collarbone, and I marched past her. I had nothing to give, bodily, emotionally, or philosophically. This was madness and here I was at the center of it.

We cut through the broken walls and down a twisted path that was once a hallway. We came to a section that gaped open and revealed the center of the decimated Temple. Above all our heads was a vortex of green and crushed rock, floating in a spiral as it was suctioned upwards into the sky. A shudder ran up my back and I focused on the scar that was to be the end of this nightmare. Leliana and her men appeared behind us and Cassandra dealt with them swiftly before returning to me.

"This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?" She asked, determination set hard on her face.

I smiled weakly, "I don't think anyone is ever ready to jump off a cliff, Cassandra." She didn't answer me and I didn't expect her to give me one. I stepped around her and looked over the edge of the railing that separated us from the next floor down. It wasn't too high of a jump and I could make it. My sledgehammer went over first, falling to the ground with a hideous clank and I jumped soon after. The minute my boots touched the ground, a voice echoed around us and I froze as it rang loud in my ears.

"Now is the hour of our victory." The voice rumbled like thunder all around, vibrating in my bones. "Bring forth the sacrifice."

"What is that...?" Cassandra asked breathlessly. A quick glance over my shoulder showed my group had followed me, Varric, Cassandra, and Solas. All three of them peered up at the sky until Varric's eyes caught something and made them go wide. He nudged Cassandra and she glared down at him with a snarl. I followed his line of sight to a grotesque protrusion of red stone that pulsed and smelled strongly of sulfur.

"Seeker," Varric growled, reeling away from the stone like it was the plague, "Do you see that? It's red lyrium."

"I see it, Varric." Cassandra growled and stormed past him to my side. I made haste to give her room, anger and violence rolled off her in waves that made the mark on my hand pulse and pull. It wanted it, wanted something from her and I feared it. I clenched my hand and shifted it behind me. Solas caught the move, but I shook my head; now was most definitely not the time for this discussion.

"It's not supposed to be here." Varric hissed, and then clenched his jaw and muttered to us darkly; "No one touch it or go near it. Especially not you, Chuckles."

"I do not use lyrium often, but I heed your point."

My eyes closed and I inhaled; wonderful, really, this dream just got worse as it continued. With my eyes open, I took another tentative step forward and froze, not half a foot from where I was when the voice continued. Ice flooded my veins and gripped me tight; my voice was the one that filtered in through the haze and the madness of the Breach above us.

"Please!" A woman screamed from above, "Why are you doing this? Someone please help me!"

"What's going on here?!" The echoes of my voice followed the first woman's, terrified and shrill. My eyes grew wide and I was tethered to the rift in front of me, unable to look away even as Cassandra rounded her viper gaze to my face. The Breach above us shrieked and whatever voices that had escaped were swallowed by the sound of tortured yells.

"You were there!" Cassandra accused with a heavy step into my personal space. I nearly dropped my hammer; instead I took a step back and shielded myself with my marked left hand, the blaze of light catching her off guard and forcing her to stop.

My voice trembled, "I d-don't remember! I don't remember anything - I don't even know how I got here!"

"What?" Cassandra spat. Solas soared in between us, a hand held back to me to keep me at bay, but his whole body blocked Cassandra's enraged advance. Varric stayed back, his bow leveled in his arms but pointed at no one, his weapon was as limp as mine in my hands.

"Seeker." Solas commanded. "Now is not the time... Should she survive this ordeal, then her trial awaits her and we shall have our answers." With a strangled growl, Cassandra turned away from us and disowned us entirely. My throat worked to swallow back the bile that had risen up from my stomach and I shifted around Solas with a quiet nod in thanks. It was time to end this nightmare, because I certainly didn't want to be in another one with a very upset Cassandra.

Hesitantly, I jumped down the second railing and tumbled brokenly onto the ground. My legs were spent and my body was starting to refuse any of the commands I gave it. This was it, the last of my rope was being spent and it was starting to fry at the ends. Tears flooded my eyes as I stood; the pain of my limbs was something I couldn't completely ignore. Spikes and needles and cold fingers pulled at my tendons and muscles, everything twitched and begged and all I could do was push forward.

We reached the center, bowman all around us and soldiers behind us. Trembling, I raised my hand as high as I could and a whip of light snapped down to meet my hand. I twisted my wrist, once more as if to grab the rope of light that connected me to this Fade and took a mighty step back. The Breach howled and the seams broke. From there, it seemed all the monstrosities of hell poured from the shifted seal. The world sang around me as the Breach vomited up a monster.

Behind me came a roar, tremendous and rupturing. With wide eyes I turned and stared upward, a great horned, armored beast had been spat out from the Breach and it was heading toward me. Weakly, I gripped my sledgehammer and for the first time in ten years, I prayed. A whip formed in its hand and it raised its arm high above its head, his maw opened wide and dripping. It brought down its arm and laughed.

I am sorry to say I closed my eyes and waited. It was a shame, really, because I missed the lightning speed that Solas used to appear in front of me, arm and staff spread eagle and a sheen of blue and white surrounded us. I gasped as a warmth swallowed me and engulfed both of us. It soon turned cold as my body glittered with whatever he had cast and the whip bounced off us. Solas turned with a wince on his face and gripped my shoulder hard, shoving me around the broken pillar and down into its shadow.

"Stay here." He grunted, another brief wince over his face as something came up behind him and scored at his back. His staff swirled in his palm and a flash of fire struck the creature. He turned to look at me and I shook, terrified and exhausted. Tears streamed down my face, all my bravado that I had mustered before gone in the blink of an eye in the face of something far greater than I was; I shook my head and ducked my chin to my neck.

"I c-can't do this, I can't do this, this isn't me, this isn't me." I cried, my hands coming to my face, the mark on my hand burning hot and wild between my fingers. Solas sighed and placed a hand on my head, but he was gone the next moment, to deal with the monstrosity that I had brought into the world, thinking I could fix it. I vomited again, the turmoil rose hard in my gut as I listened to the soldiers scream, Cassandra yelling to distract the beast, the sound of Varric's crossbow nearby as he tried to help control the battle.

It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream! My internal screaming continued as I rocked in the shadow of the broken pillar, hoping to any God that listened that nothing would find me; that Cassandra and Varric and Solas survived, that I woke up. Another howling laugh echoed in the ruins of the Temple, the beast was getting the upper hand of the others. I looked up and blinked through my tears; I held my breath to control my shaking and stood up on shaky knees. The green of the Breach flickered overhead as the beast rained its whip down on the others.

End it. This nightmare will end once the fight is over. Isn't that how it works? I closed my eyes and lifted my hand, the Breach snarled down at me and swallowed my hand as I raised it, yanking at the muscles in my arm under my skin. A scream erupted from my throat and the air was sucked from my lungs. I froze, the world around me darkened and heat consumed me.

The nightmare was over, and I was about to wake up.