Title: How to Survive (Until) Your Wedding

Summary: Jim and Spock really just wanted a simple wedding on the fourth anniversary of getting together, a.k.a. Christmas 2264. Instead, their overworked and under stimulated crew takes over their bachelor party/ wedding shower and Starfleet decides to turn their nuptials into the diplomatic event of the 2264 holiday season. The powers that be also chose Starbase Yorktown as the venue for the wedding. Then it all goes to hell and Jim starts to believe Christmas is cursed again. Will Jim and Spock make it to the altar?

Star Trek Beyond AU with an engage Jim and Spock

Beta: GraysonSteele

Series: STR/KTL AU

Continuity: This is set post STID with an altered timeline that will incorporate elements from Star Trek Beyond (At least in my story, we have a really good reason why Carol Marcus is no longer on Enterprise.) The biggest differences are in this universe Winona Kirk died in December 2259 and Spock Prime lived past January 2, 2253.

Part five of the series: What to Get the Captain and First Officer Who Have Everything but Each Other

Follow-up to: How to Surprise Your Boyfriend at Christmas and Love, Commitment, and Valentine's Day in the 23rd century. This can be read as a standalone story.

For KS Advent 2016 and a follow-up to my entries for 2013 and 2014.

Rating: Hard T/PG-13 mostly for bad words, dirty jokes, violence, and Vulcans in peril.

Length: 34,000 words (Really, I didn't mean for it to get this big.)

Warnings: Action, violence, dirty jokes, anatomically correct penis cookies, sexual situations, emotionally unstable captains, and near-death experiences.

Relationships: Established Jim/Spock, established Bones/Carol, established Sulu/Ben, best friends for life Spock and Nyota, and Nyota/Kristen Klucking-Marcus (OFC). Along with a certain navigator still having a ridiculous unrequited crush on his Captain.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry and reinterpreted by J.J. Abrams and Justin Lin. (We should probably throw Simon Pegg in there too, because he believes in pansexual Kirk.) This story is for entertainment purposes only. It's my turn to play and I feel like returning to this particular toy box.

I was originally planning for the fifth and final story in this series to come out in December of 2015, but then my mom ended up in the hospital for most of September and I had two family members die between Thanksgiving and December due to long-term illness. On the bright side, Star Trek Beyond really helped shape the story.

Note: It is my theory that by 2264 bridal shower will be a gender-neutral term. Language has a tendency to change over time.

Chapter 1: Why Did I Agree to a Happy Holidays Bridal Shower?

Jim Kirk loved his crew. They were the best in Starfleet in his personal opinion. Of course after 1681 days in space, there were moments when his fearless crew made him really want to hide under his bed. His Christmas themed bridal shower was one of those moments.

He blamed the presence of the giant penis cake and Mrs. Clause blow up doll on the fact that they've mostly been doing star mapping for the last three months (with the occasional away mission that goes really really badly thrown in for flavor). Everybody's going a little stir crazy because if you've done one star mapping assignment you've done them all. At a certain point, trying to shock your boss with an anatomically correct papier-mâché snow Vulcan is the only thing that keeps you grounded. And he was shocked and a little disturbed.

He personally needed to thank Carol's replacement on the science team, Lisa, for insisting that Spock have his private, Science Department bachelor party at the same time. By being unable to attend, Spock couldn't freak out about the regulations being violated. The pin the penis on anatomically incorrect Vulcan blowup doll, dressed only in a Santa hat, probably would have resulted in write-ups. The fact that they had gingerbread penises would have resulted in the same thing, but at least Jim wasn't allergic to those.

The words 'Christmas' and 'bridal shower' should not be combined together under any circumstances. It was giving him an all new set of Christmas issues. This was highlighted by some of the presents that he received from his fearless crew. As he opened the present from his security team consisting of handcuffs, blindfolds and some sort of whip along with the damn Merry Christmas version of the Pleasure Seeker 9000, he questioned the sanity of everyone in said department.

"Why did I let you talk me into a bridal shower?" Jim asked, holding up the offensive toy. The new version was Christmas tree shaped, sort of. Jim was trying to decide if this version was worse than the candy cane shaped one from four years ago. He definitely felt it was weirder.

"Because, you wanted to do something for the crew before you became immersed in the diplomatic event that is your wedding and bridal showers can be co-ed. In addition, it made sense to combine it with our annual winter holiday spectacular, since we will all be on shore leave when we'd normally have it on December 24. None of us thought that all of the department heads would purchase your gifts from the Red Light District." Nyota sighed as she wrote down exactly who had given what.

"I'm certain I mentioned not to get presents from there when I sent out the memo about appropriate wedding and bridal gifts per Starfleet regulations. Now I remember why we stopped doing Secret Santa."

"You know, the crew is awful about following rules not directly related to their jobs. I just wanted a nice peaceful party before tomorrow's diplomatic mission and our shore leave on Yorktown. Instead, we get pine tree shaped Christmas colored Jell-O shots and the guess how many times Spock has ripped my shirt game." Jim sighed.

He should have known that Starfleet would decide that his wedding should take place at Starbase Yorktown to symbolize unity within the Federation. After all, what says unity better than a crazy human marrying a person of human and Vulcan ancestry, on a Starbase that is supposed to be the living embodiment of Starfleet unity?

"I came up with the bridal shower party idea," Sulu reluctantly acknowledged. "Although maybe I shouldn't have handed over the adult bridal shower package that my sister sent to the planning committee, at least not without checking it over first. The fake snow penis was a little much."

Since Sulu's sister was a wedding planner on Earth and the helmsman had helped out during the summers when he was at the Academy, Hikaru was Jim's go to person for wedding help. He was also Jim's only married friend who'd had an actual wedding.

Bones did go through a wedding, but it was the shotgun version that mostly consisted of showing up at the courthouse. Thanks to the chocolate fiasco last Christmas during which Bones found out his girlfriend was pregnant due to alien plants negating contraceptives, Jim was not allowed to ask any wedding planning questions when he called.

Despite the bridal shower fiasco, Sulu had actually been really helpful and his daughter was going to be an adorable little flower girl. Jim needed all the help he could get. Instead of a small ceremony Christmas day with their friends onboard the ship, they were going to have a full-blown spectacle at Yorktown complete with Federation dignitaries that Jim felt certain his future father-in-law put on the list. He probably had done it just to get back at Jim for not having a Vulcan ceremony when it was Spock who firmly decided on the human ceremony.

They were also going to have to put up with Starfleet officials that Jim kind of sort of wanted to strangle on a daily basis. Yet, they were going along with it because their Starfleet sanctioned wedding would probably be less chaotic than whatever Spock's father would prefer for them to do. Jim envisioned baking in the desert on the New Vulcan colony in full Vulcan regalia surrounded by people he didn't know nor wanted to. Spock didn't want to put up with that and neither did Jim.

"Don't touch the handcuffs until I can scan them." Nyota pulled out the tricorder that Bones left her pre-programmed for all of Jim's allergies. Bones didn't want to leave Jim behind without something to protect him from his allergies of doom.

Jim missed his best friend. Two months before baby Davida was born, Carol had been offered a promotion to the position of weapons specialist at Starbase Yorktown and she couldn't pass it up (especially because it allowed her more time to retrain in her preferred specialty). And because of the promise Bones made to Carol last Valentine's Day, he relocated with her and the baby for the duration. So now, Jim had to survive with two calls a week during which Bones complained at length about living in a city made of glass tubes, hanging in the middle of space, that could collapse any moment. It really must be love if Bones was willing to live and raise his baby daughter on that starbase of all places.

One of the main reasons why Jim is going along with Starfleet hijacking his wedding was that Bones would get to be there if they held it at Starbase Yorktown. It was an added bonus that the location would also allow for baby Sulu to be his flower girl. She's so cute.

"I think I can touch the handcuffs, especially Christmas themed handcuffs that are dressed up like Santa Claus. I did so just last week." Jim said with a smirk.

"What about last Valentine's Day?" Nyota was referring to him swelling like a balloon last Valentine's Day due to what they assumed was an allergic reaction to handcuffs.

"That only happened because there was some of the residual Pop Your Cherry massage oil on the handcuffs." Jim said grabbing the toy as soon as the tricorder gave the all clear.

"Speaking of the massage oil, that has put you in to Sickbay more than once, you have three bottles of this stuff in this gift bag." Sulu said from beside him, holding up the gift bag in question. "I thought Dr. McCoy banned that stuff after the Valentine's Day incident."

"He did, but the new CMO can reverse it. Actually, I think she must have because that gift back came from the medical department and Dr. Chapel pretty much hates me." Jim explained.

Carol was the one who convinced her doctor friend to take over the position once Bones left Jim behind for his new kid. It's not a very easy relationship mostly because Jim can't even remember what he did to piss her off. He only hooked up with her once when he was at the Academy and she didn't even give him her real name. But apparently that was enough to warrant getting deadly presents for his wedding. Thankfully, Christine already put in a transfer request and they would be picking up their new CMO right after the wedding. (Thank God, because this wasn't working at all.)

"I'm so glad we decided to open presents in private so the whole ship didn't find out about my CMO's desire to kill me." Jim sighed.

"That may be why." Nyota mumbled under breath and in perfect Vulcan forgetting that he understood Vulcan perfectly.

"Just put that in the box of things that will probably kill me and you can split it up among yourselves to use on shore leave. Preferably when I'm already locked in my suite for the honeymoon with Spock." Jim was a little disturbed by the fact that the box of things that could kill him was already halfway full. Maybe he should've allowed Nyota to send out a list of everything he is allergic to, but after what happened with Secret Santa 2261, he was a little afraid of everyone having that information.

"The married man can have the massage oil and phallic Christmas tree sex toy. I'll take the box of Vulcan almond cookie penises." Nyota volunteered. Unlike the gingerbread penises at the party, Jim couldn't touch those without his tongue swelling.

"I'll only be able to use it if I find a babysitter for at least one night. How anatomically correct are the Vulcan cookie penises? I think that brings a whole new meaning to gingerbread man." Nyota snickered at his comment. Jim did too.

"Accurate enough that I hope they didn't serve any of those things at the Science Department bachelor party." Spock would freak out in a very Vulcan way. "The only difference is the almond cookie version would make my tongue swell due to containing almonds and soy. I don't have that problem with the real thing." Jim answered cheekily.

"You know we seriously need a shore leave when we start having conversations like this." Nyota said as she started going through the next box, this time from Engineering. Scotty must've picked it out since the whole package was high proof alien alcohol that may or may not be legal. "I'll be happy to babysit at least one night after the wedding."

"Won't you be preoccupied with Kristen by that point? I thought you were staying with her at her apartment instead of in short-term Starfleet housing." Jim asked with a smirk.

The best assistant Jim ever had was currently on Yorktown finishing up her last year at Starfleet Academy remotely as she planned the Starfleet wedding of the century and helped out with her baby cousin. Kristen had been scheduled to graduate this semester, but she may or may not have reprogrammed the Kobayashi Maru so that everybody had a chance of winning. She suddenly found herself being forced to take all the Command Ethics classes that usually aren't required until you become a Starfleet Captain. Therefore Kristen would not be available until Enterprise was back on Earth, taking a year off to 'recover' from her five-year mission. Jim was really sad about that.

"We are just friends and since we're already babysitting her baby cousin, we can add one more." Even Sulu snickered at that qualifier, although he probably didn't know the entire sordid history of Kristen and Nyota (Oh god, the dirty emails that he had destroyed over the last few years). Then again, the Enterprise rumor mill was very accurate when it wanted to be, so he might know about their ongoing dance which began with a mistletoe induced kiss four years ago and ended with Spock finding a half-naked Kristen in Nyota's room during one of their seemingly weekly crises the day before Kristen left for Yorktown.

"Only by the Vulcan definition of the word." Because Jim knew full well that there was nothing platonic about that relationship. "I'm completely expecting you and her to make out during the rehearsal dinner. Just keep it PG because Sulu's daughter will be there. You don't want to scar the baby. Think of the children." That response resulted in Nyota standing up and throwing the box from the Linguistics Department at him. They were his and his bathrobes, because of course she got him the tamest thing possible from the Red Light District. Oh there's chocolate body paint in there. He spoke too soon.

"You can do the rest of your presents yourself if you're going to act like that." Nyota said opening the door only to see a half-naked Chekov walking past their door.

"Never mind. I'm just going to wait here until I'm sure that he's made it back to his room without whoever kicked him out causing a scene. This is the second time this month." Nyota said taking her seat once more.

"If I have to deal with another transfer request in the morning, I'm going to be pissed." Jim groaned. "It's already happened three times." It seemed like the moment Jim confined himself to a life of monogamy his navigator decided to screw his way through most of the crew. This resulted in the walk of shame at shift change, usually missing at least one article of clothing. It's another one of those things that kept happening.

"I'll talk to him. I don't think he is handling the wedding well." Sulu sighed.

"He only dated Lieutenant Campbell for like a week." Jim said, thinking of an ex-girlfriend from two years ago who was also getting married on Yorktown during the shore leave. Thankfully, she was going to get to have a nice hotel wedding where Jim would be getting married at the Plaza. It's moments like this that Jim reminds himself that he's going through this torture so that the entire galaxy knows that Spock is his for all of eternity.

"Not that wedding." Nyota said before sharing a look with Sulu. "Is Kristin still your best woman or did Leonard successfully talk you into using him?" Nyota asked.

That was obviously a subject change, but he didn't say anything because this would give him another chance to mess with Nyota about the Kristen thing. Really they should just admit that their dating and get it over with. Even Carol was okay with it now that Kristen had turned 21. A nine year difference isn't that bad. Jim's brother just got married to a woman 17 years his junior who he met (aka fucking) before Arlene divorced his ass. (Jim was sad that his former and still favorite sister-in-law and nephew won't be able to make it to the wedding but they're supposed to be able to watch a stream of it.) His new sister-in-law, who was still technically a teenager for two more months and Sam are definitely not on the guest list.

"Leonard didn't try that hard to convince me to switch. It's best that we stay with Kristen for the sake of symmetry and the fact that baby Bones likes to start screaming. Also, for the sake of my wedding, it is best if they can both get out of there as fast as possible. Besides, I think it's wedding tradition for the best people to end up being the next wedding."

"I'm so glad that Ben and I eloped, even though my sister didn't talk to me for three months afterwards." Jim doesn't think it counts as eloping if you plan the entire thing for 60 guests in secret for six months to keep your sister from taking over your wedding.

Evidently, that's where they went wrong. If they had just waited until the day before the wedding to fill out the paperwork, Starfleet would have never got involved. They picked the color scheme out. Granted it was a nice shade of blue that matches his eyes perfectly, but still they chose the color scheme without input from him or Spock.

"It hasn't been that bad." The two of them looked at him like he was crazy probably because they'd been dealing with his rants about the wedding for the last six months. His PADD was filled with wedding files. It took them two weeks to come up with a menu that would not send Jim to the hospital nor offend the 100 + diplomats that they were being forced to invite. Don't even mention the two weeks choosing china patterns for the reception that is more diplomatic reception than wedding reception.

"Okay, my wedding has turned into the world's worst diplomatic dinner ever because we have two more ambassadors showing up. Spock hates them because they've said mean things about his mom. We can't not have them there because diplomatic relations with both of their planets are currently problematic and Starfleet wants to use our happy occasion to generate some goodwill."

By problematic, Jim meant they are 30 seconds from bombing each other and apparently somebody in the diplomatic corps thought a wedding reception was a great place to work out your issues. Jim was pretty sure this was the reason why his crew was betting on when security will have to kick someone out for fighting. Jim was going with four minutes into the reception.

"I'm halfway tempted to eat one of the almond Vulcan penis cookies just so we can call the whole thing off and have the wedding we really want, but Spock would kill me if the cookies didn't." His fiancée was really protective.

"Also if Enterprise does not participate in the negotiations between the Teenaxi Delegation and the Fibonan Republic a second time, Admiral Chan probably will kill you herself." Nyota reminded him.

Thanks to the great Christmas allergic reaction of 2262, the Hamilton ended up going in Enterprise's stead without the gift from Fibonan Republic. This resulted in negotiations falling apart within the first five minutes and the captain of the Hamilton ending up covered in bite marks. Never show up empty-handed to a negotiation.

After what happening again two years later, Jim was determined for things to be better this time. It took a team of diplomats nearly 2 years to get them this second chance. Hopefully, the peace offering/diplomatic gift from the Fibonan Republic will keep things from going for going to hell, again.

"Good point. The Federation cannot afford for negotiations to fail spectacularly a second time." Maybe he could get the two sides to negotiate a peace treaty this time around and Commodore Paris would be willing to accept his application for the Vice Admiral position at Yorktown.

Most days Jim liked his job. Granted some days Jim despised his job, but without a doubt he loved working with his boyfriend which was the only reason why he hadn't looked into graduate engineering programs on Earth. There's only so much star mapping one can take before everything blended together. First contacts can go bad only so many times before you wonder why are you still doing this? They were never going to run out of things to find. So why do they keep doing this? Jim's answer was Spock.

Spock's biological clock was ticking (made worse by the fact his other self had passed away last summer) and despite changes in Starfleet regulations that on paper make it easier to raise a family in space, it wouldn't be practical. Carol got kicked upstairs for a reason. If they both had positions at Starbase Yorktown, they could employ the use of a gestational carrier droid and Vulcan donor egg to do their part in rebuilding the Vulcan population efforts.

"This is why I should go with you." Nyota suggested breaking him out of his thoughts. "Things fell apart last time because the universal translator screwed up." She had a point and Jim really did want to take Nyota and Sulu on more missions. If he and Spock did get reassigned, then Jim knew that he wanted Sulu and Nyota to take over Enterprise. They would make a good team. Also, Nyota hadn't been kicked out of the room of a significant other due to being an idiot yet. That shows that she is more mature than the alternative.

"I'm really not supposed to bring someone else with me." But I really want to.

"Your future husband will kill us all if you're covered in claw marks before the wedding. Think of the wedding pictures." Nyota remarked.

"Especially if he wasn't the one who gave them to you." Sulu snickered under breath.

"You do remember that I'm your Captain?" He asked his crewmates annoyed.

"Some days I think we've all been together a little too long." Jim agreed with Sulu's words.

"Valid point. Fine, Nyota you can come." Jim acquiesced because again Spock would be really mad if he died on a simple mission less than five days before the wedding.

Their conversation was ended by Spock returning to the quarters wearing a party hat with a piece of mistletoe up top, carrying a plate of chocolate phallic shaped cookies. Spock probably brought back the cookies for Jim because he didn't want to eat any at the party, but wanted to be polite as well.

"What happened at the Science Department bachelor party?" Jim asked his husband once they were alone. He could still hear Nyota giggling in the hallway because the door was taking a little too long to close.

"We watched a film entitled A Nude Christmas Carol which had very little plot and consisted of 87% sex scenes involving a woman named Carol who was only wearing mistletoe through 92% of the film." Spock said as he removed the mistletoe hat before Jim could make good use of it. Not that Jim needed an excuse to kiss his fiancée.

"It was so unfair that you got to watch Christmas porn and I had to deal with weird presents that could potentially cause anaphylaxis." Jim said, pointing to the box that Sulu forgot to take because he left so quickly. He'd have Spock drop it off in the morning.

"I thought Nyota sent out a list of appropriate presents? Is that a pine tree shaped vibrator?"

"Yes, don't worry I am giving that thing away. It disturbs me. Moments like these make me less sad about applying for the job at Yorktown." Jim said, leaning over to kiss his fiancée. "You taste good."

"While watching the film we drank something called a Brandy Alexander," Spock explained as he walked into the bedroom part of their quarters. Jim followed behind after he grabbed a bag filled with the gifts that he might actually use tonight, despite the fact he probably should sleep.

"And they sent you back to me tipsy, which explains why you were still wearing the hat." Jim said as he moved most of the presents that would kill him to the other side of their living room. "Which is also kind of unfair because Sulu wouldn't let me have more than one Merry Christmas Jell-O shot due to the mission tomorrow." So unfair.

"Alcohol has a limited effect on me." Spock said as he took off his shirt. Jim loves his shirtless Spock in the evening.

"However, the dark Crème de cacao in the drink makes you really tipsy and you had both which will be fun for me." Jim said as he pulled out his favorite present from the evening. "Want to use our new happy holidays handcuffs?" He held up the red and white felt covered item for Spock to inspect.

"Yes." Spock answered seconds before Jim found himself in bed. The quartermaster was going to be so pissed about the torn shirt. Oh well, it was the night of his wedding shower. A torn shirt was bound to happen.

Nyota honestly thought her presence would help the Federation's second attempt at brokering a peace treaty between the Teenaxians and the Fibonan Republic. Unfortunately, the situation still deteriorated in to chaos, necessitating an emergency extraction. The mission's failure was partially her fault for not researching the history of the peace offering herself and asking for more details on its origin.

She was lucky to only end up with a shredded uniform. Yet, Dr. Chapel paid more attention to her than to Jim, who was starting to bruise. Those were going to make for some interesting wedding pictures if not properly healed.

Really, Dr. Chapel needed to get over the fact that Jim slept with her and didn't call the next day or whatever actually happened. This was unprofessional. Maybe it's best that she was leaving.

Spock promptly started fussing over Jim until Jim placated him with a Vulcan kiss and reassured him he just needed a new shirt and a drink to recover from what happened. Spock then asked her to check up on Jim while he cataloged the world's most inappropriate peace offering. You do not give a stolen weapon as a symbol of peace. That's just dumb.

After she put on a fresh uniform, she found Jim sulking with a container of blue alcohol that she was sure was part of Scotty's bridal shower present. The officer's bar/rec room was mostly recovered from the bridal shower the day before, only the papier-mâché 'fertility' snow Vulcan sat perched on the counter next to Jim.

"Put the illegal stuff down. I would be remiss in my best woman duties if I allowed you to show up to the wedding blind due to drinking whatever that is. I saved a bottle of wine from the party yesterday." She said holding up one of the good bottles that she stashed in the fridge. She had been saving it for a toast after the ceremony, but she could get another bottle at Yorktown. Today's diplomatic disaster required alcohol.

"And yet none of the Scotch?" Jim asked just as she started looking for the wine glasses. There were a few left.

"I think they turned to the Scotch once they ran out of Merry Christmas Jell-O shots. I can't believe they made Christmas tree shaped Jell-O shots. We've really had too much time on our hands recently." She said pouring him a generous portion of the sparkling wine.

"Definitely. Do you ever wonder why we keep doing this?" Jim finally asked after finishing half of his class.

"Usually every time we run into a language that has six or more words for the term penis." Nyota joked.

"Reproduction is really important in most cultures." Jim replied with a snicker. "Which we keep finding out every time we do another first contact, but it just keeps feeling like the same thing. I think this is the 15th shirt I've lost this year alone."

"Not counting those ripped by Spock during sex of course. Did the fiancée take out another one last night?" She joked.

"Yes. Our quartermaster is starting to assume that they were all actually ripped by Spock. I can't even look her in the face anymore." It didn't help that the quartermaster was old enough to be Jim's grandmother. Thanks to evil Romulans and crazy admirals the Starfleet retirement age went up 10 years to help with the personnel's shortage.

"Today was not a good mission, but they're not always like this," she said trying to reassure him.

"Sometimes they are. Okay most of the time they are and I'm left wondering why do we keep doing this?" Jim asked.

"For the sake of adventure?" She replied dryly.

"In my case, it's usually Spock, but is that enough? What am I doing with my life? I'm going to be 32 next month and my dad didn't even make it this long."

Apparently, the Jim Kirk birthday blues were starting a few weeks early this year. They usually made it to New Year's before this happens. It helps that Jim and Spock now celebrate their birthday on January 6 together. Maybe the fact that Jim was getting married without any of his parents or parental figures there was triggering the birthday blues. He didn't even have other Spock to talk to this year because the elder passed away on the same day Davida was born last summer. At least she hoped that was the reason for his melancholy.

"I hope this is just early birthday blues. You're not getting cold feet about the wedding, right?" Nyota asked slightly concerned. "I do understand if you are having wedding issues. I mean, considering that almost 5 years ago, your mom was murdered by her third husband." Those words made Jim finish his drink.

"No. I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with Spock. Trust me without him, I think I would've put in my application for something else years earlier." Jim said as he poured himself another glass of the sparkling wine. "I just don't know if I want to spend the rest of my youth on this ship."

"But now that the five year mission is almost over, you've put in your application for someplace else?" She asked.

"Rear Admiral at Yorktown along with the Starfleet liaison position on the New Vulcan colony." She wasn't even surprised. Not about the Vulcan colony anyway. Spock always felt guilty whenever he received an update from his counterpart or his father about the rebuilding efforts, as far back as when they were dating. With other Spock gone, she knew Spock was even more conflicted about staying on Enterprise.

"Because you miss Leonard and Spock's biological clock is ticking?" Jim nodded his head in agreement at her words.

"I'm pretty sure part of Spock thinks he needs to run off to New Vulcan to create baby Vulcans for the sake of his species, but he's okay with using a donor egg from a female Vulcan to produce our offspring." And this is why she knows that Jim and Spock worked better than she and Spock ever did because they wouldn't think to come up with a compromise like that. The first time they broke up was because Spock wanted to run off to the colony before there was a colony.

"I feel like there's something else going on here. Are you afraid of making your mother's mistakes?" Nyota asked concerned.

"Maybe, I was practically raised by a bastard stepdad and my grandparents because my mom was off in space so much. I don't want that to happen. But I'm not ready for an Earth job either, which is why I'm looking for something in between."

"And the assignment in Yorktown would allow for that work life balance you need." Nyota stated.

"The position on the Vulcan colony would allow Spock to work more directly. Although, I'm not sure I can be on the same planet as my father-in-law for long periods of time and I think Spock feels similarly." While Spock's relationship with his father was currently better than it was at any point when they were dating, it was still complicated. Also, she's not sure that even near genocide has tempered the attitude of some Vulcans who would openly treat Spock like shit because of his human heritage.

"At least he knows your name. I dated his son for four years and I'm not entirely certain he knows that I exist." She said pouring them both more wine.

"To surviving the wedding with minimal psychological damage." Nyota raised her glass.

"To surviving." Jim said as they clinked their glasses. Hopefully everything will be better tomorrow when they arrive at Yorktown.

Starbase Yorktown was beautiful. A marvel of modern technology and the shining example of the unity of the Federation. Hundreds of Federation species living together in harmony and peace. Nyota was looking forward to all the interesting conversations she was going to have in the various cafés and shops on the base when she wasn't fully immersed in wedding chaos. She was really looking forward to testing out her language skills with individuals that won't shoot her on sight.

Although, her favorite part of being at Starbase Yorktown was the fact that Kristen was waiting for her as she disembarked from Enterprise, with baby Davida in her arms, who was wearing the 'My cousin is a genius' onesie that Nyota sent. She hadn't seen Kristen since she left with Carol to finish up her Starfleet Academy time at Yorktown, but they talked to each other constantly. And only half of those conversations did she have to use her privileges as Chief Communications Officer to delete off the Starfleet server due to obscenity.

The way Kristen ran up and kissed her made her wonder if they were going to act out half of those messages right there in front of everyone in the greeting area. Despite the presence of the four-month-old in her arms.

"Just friends, really? Yeah right." She heard Jim snicker from the side.

"Only by the Vulcan definition of the word." Kristin said reluctantly pulling away. "Here, cuddle with your goddaughter before your meeting with Paris."

"You're just the cutest little goddaughter ever." Jim said melting the moment that the baby was in his arms. Even Spock's expression softened and sported a ghost of a smile as he allowed the little girl to grab his finger. Spock hated hand contact, but apparently babies were different. The Vulcan biological clock was definitely ticking. "Where is your daddy, my little princess?"

"Working. But he'll be there for tomorrow's rehearsal brunch/walk-through with protocol." Nyota was pretty sure she saw Spock almost frown. That's not good.

"It's never good when protocol is involved. What about tonight? I would love to have a drink with my BFF before the wedding takes over my life." Jim suggested.

"Leonard said he would try to meet you after your meeting with Paris if he can get out of work early but, you know doctors never get out early. Also, Christine is coming over for dinner before she leaves on her new ship tomorrow and…"

"We don't want any bloodshed to happen until after the ceremony." Jim finished for her.

"Exactly."

"Is it wrong to hope for an emergency mission to keep the diplomatic wedding from happening so we can have the wedding we actually want?" Jim asked the group.

"Be careful what you wish for you might just get it." Kristen warned. "I thought you two could use a free night before the wedding chaos begins. The only thing you two have to do after Jim's meeting with Paris and Spock's meeting with his father is show up at the tailor's to get fitted for your suits. They're doing it the old-fashioned way, which means they barely have time to get them done before the wedding."

"I have a meeting with my father? He is already on Yorktown?" Spock asked one eyebrow raised.

"Yes. He and your stepmom, Alexis, want to meet with you in 15 minutes at his apartment inside the Vulcan Embassy. I sent the coordinates to your PADD like five minutes ago. Just hop in one of the tubes and it should take you right there." Kristen explained.

"I am so happy that I'm missing that because of my meeting with Paris, not gonna lie." Jim explained as he kept cuddling his goddaughter. He was definitely a baby person.

"She wants to talk details about the wedding, with protocol present." Kristen explained. "By the way, the guest list is now up to 320 and I think you only know 20 of those people personally."

"Okay, now I'm not happy at all. I mean, if they've completely taken over our wedding, why do they need to go through the appearances of trying to get our input on anything? Also, shouldn't Spock be there for this too?"

"One, because they can and two, probably, but the ambassador cannot be left waiting." Kristen commented.

"Of course not." Jim look annoyed.

"Did my father explain why he wanted to see me?" Spock asked.

"Probably wedding stuff." Kristen replied almost nervously. Nyota was definitely going ask about that later.

"Tomorrow's rehearsal brunch is going to be so much fun. I assume were having it four days early, so that the dermal regeneration can be done before the wedding pictures." Jim said before handing the baby back to Kristin.

"I arranged for security staff, so it should be fine. Actually, that is the reason why protocol wanted to run through four days early." Kristen joked before forcing Jim and Spock on their way. Even though she hasn't been Jim's assistant for over three years, she was definitely able to slip back into the role very quickly.

"You're not going with Jim? I thought you were working in Paris's office this semester?"

"You and I have wedding things to do, including the dress fitting this afternoon, which would be probably more fun if I could drop little bit at daycare. But it's okay because you are going to be here for two weeks and I have baby free plans." Kristen kissed her again.

"And this wedding will only take up about half of that." She said, leaning over to kiss Kristen again.

"I just need to help get the diplomatic wedding of the year off the ground and then I will be all yours. Okay, I need to find out if the tailor can do a maternity dress for the stepmother of the groom with only four days' notice." Kristen lamented.

"Wait, seriously?" Spock was going to be upset. (She could see this increasing Spock's desire to have a baby of his own.) Lovely. She is so glad that's not her problem.

"She looks eight months pregnant and I'm pretty sure Spock doesn't know because he would've said something." Kristen explained.

"He definitely does not know. This wedding is going to be a disaster." Nyota would have no idea how prophetic those words were until 48 hours later.

To be continued