A/N: Welcome to the new story! It's set after Scorpia Rising and will continue as far into the future as I want it to. Angst, action and loads of craziness ahead. Buckle up!

Disclaimer: Alex Rider is the brainchild of Antony Horowitz, and the meaning of the title is copied from the Mental Floss website. I don't own either of them.

Auribus teneo lupum (I'm holding a wolf by the ears) - used to describe an unsustainable situation, and in particular one in which both doing nothing and doing something to resolve it are equally risky.

"Okay, let me get this straight," Alex said, following Sabina to the car. "I'm a 10th grader, also known as a sophomore. Right?"

Sabina Pleasure nodded. It was Alex's first day at the high school in San Francisco, the summer holidays over. He'd spent them surfing and exploring with his adoptive sister, trying to recover from his final mission and being tutored by Mr Cooper, who was apparently going to be his homeroom teacher.

"This is so weird. I was in Year 10 last year!"

Sabina rolled her eyes, but she was pleased to see Alex so light-hearted.

Alex fidgeted with the long sleeve of his t-shirt. He felt under-dressed for school, used to dressing in impeccable uniform - with a dubious record, he hadn't wanted to give Mr Bray any more reason to kick him out.

Ed drove them to school on his way to work, and they managed to keep up a playful conversation. Alex caught himself in a surreal moment, feeling like he was an ordinary teenager with his dad and sister. Although he and Sabina had once been more than that, and he still had a crush on her, they'd come to an unspoken agreement to leave it until Alex was feeling better. He was too confused and fragile to deal with any more emotional problems right at that moment.

Sabina led him to the homeroom classroom ("Homeroom? That's so cheesy. What's wrong with calling it Tutor?") and he used her as an anchor, trying to ignore the unease he felt among so many people and to stop examining his surroundings for potential threats.

"Ready?" she asked him outside the door, eyebrow raised. He took a deep breath and nodded. "Relax. It'll be fine." With that, she opened it and stuck her head in. Mr Cooper wasn't there but there were already about a dozen students milling around, catching up with friends.

"Hey, Katie, come here a sec would you?"she called to a girl with light brown hair in a pixie cut and wearing tomboyish shorts and a t-shirt.

"This is Alex. Look after him for me, won't you? Alex, Katie's my friend from my surfing club." Sabina told him, offering a last encouraging smile before she left. She was less than a year older than him, with a birthday at the very end of June, but it was enough to push her into the grade above. "Good luck, Alex. You know how to find me if you need me."

She left, glancing back once, and Alex found himself facing Katie. He managed to muster up a smile and a "hi" in greeting. She returned the gesture and jerked her head at the door.

"Shall we, then?"

They entered the classroom and she helped him find a desk. He was grateful for the small cover it gave him, trying to look busy arranging his pencil case in the hope that no one would bother him. It couldn't last, of course.

"Hey! New boy! Who're you?" asked an athletic boy, looking friendly enough.

"Um, hi. I'm Alex." he stammered. What was wrong with him? He was never this nervous.

"Alex, this is Josh," Katie told him, referring to the boy who'd asked, "And this is my friend Pearl." This girl was petite and Chinese-American.

They nodded to each other. Most of the others had come in by now, and at that moment Mr Cooper breezed in.

"Good morning everybody! Welcome back. Ah, Alex, you found us. Got a seat? Good." He passed the sheaf of paper to a boy who soon deposited the timetables on the right desks - Alex got a jolt at seeing the name Pleasure, Alex at the top. As well as the core subjects, he'd opted to take drama, French and Chinese. He knew he'd be behind in Chinese, but he'd spent part of the holidays trying to make a start, partly to take his mind off things, and he'd reassured Mr Cooper that he was a fast learner of languages. Since he was already proficient in French, he took that class to save himself work. For his Social Studies class, he'd chosen Government. He had been taking Modern World History back in the UK, but although a large proportion of that had been on the USA he knew he didn't have enough knowledge about the country to cope with the History course, especially when the subject was in general heavy in learning.

"So I'm sure you've noticed that we have a new student," the teacher continued. "Mr Pleasure, care to introduce yourself?"

Alex stood up. Mr Cooper had warned him that he would do this, though he reassured him that most of his class teachers wouldn't, and the teenager had agreed in the hope that he'd avoid as many curious looks and questions later. He took a moment to push his emotions away before he spoke.

"I'm Alex Ri- I mean, Alex Pleasure. I like sport, especially, um, soccer, and acting."

"Are you related to Sabina?" asked a boy at the back. He'd come in among the latest, and Alex didn't much like the look of him.

"Adopted brother," he said shortly. They'd agreed to be truthful about it.

"Why?"

"I'd rather not go into that," Alex said, trying not to think about Jack. The boy shrugged, completely unapologetic.

Alex sank down and started fiddling with a pencil. The question had thrown him and his mind was doing exactly what he was trying not to - thinking about the events that had led him to be here. His uncle, MI6, Jack…

The screen changed to colour just as the car exploded into flames, Jack disappearing among them, lost behind a veil of smoke and fire-

The pencil snapped. Alex stared at the pieces in his hand and pushed them away from him. He noticed Katie giving him a concerned look and tried to relax so she'd look away. Some other classmates were also staring at him but he met their eyes and they soon glanced away.

They spent the rest of the time receiving information about extracurricular activities and comparing schedules. Alex noted that soccer tryouts were next Wednesday and jotted down the rehearsal days for the school musical, but didn't decide yet if he wanted to go. He liked the acting, but was less keen on singing.

Alex got through the first few lessons with little difficulty - he'd gone over most of the work he hadn't done before in his tutoring sessions, so didn't find English or science too hard. After that he had drama, so he found himself entering the school theatre and joining a group of teenagers who were milling around as they waited for the teacher.

The majority were girls, who mostly looked nice except for a small group caked in make-up. The half-dozen boys in the class included Josh, who caught Alex's eye and waved him over to join them, much to his pleasure but also his surprise. He wasn't used to such a lack of suspicion.

The lesson was spent being introduced to their next project and practising various exercises. So far they hadn't started working in groups. The teacher, a young blonde woman called Miss Miller, paused by Alex as he, Josh and a joker of a boy called Liam were working on an improvisation exercise.

"I hope you boys are going to audition for the musical this year?" Josh and Liam nodded in confirmation. "And you, Alex?"

"I was considering it."

"I hope you'll do more than just that - we can always use more male actors. We're doing Guys and Dolls this year. I'm sure you'd enjoy it." She frowned suddenly. "Can you drop the British accent, though? It really is an inherently American musical."

Alex took a moment to form his mouth into the right shape. "I think so. How's this for an American accent?" he asked with a slight drawl.

Miss Miller blinked in surprise. "That's perfect! I'd never distinguish you from one of us. Where did you learn to do that?"

Alex froze, memories flashing through his mind. Breakfast in Miami with Tom Turner and Belinda Troy… waiting in the boat for them to return … the shark missing him by centimetres before it was skewered the same way the agents had been, blood colouring the water-

"Alex?" Miss Miller's voice broke him out of the trance.

He pushed back the emotions before he brought his gaze to meet hers. Two flashbacks and it wasn't even lunchtime - it must be the new environment, without the security of the Pleasures' home.

"I learnt it at my old school," he lied. "We were going to do Grease." That was true, but the teachers had decided not to bother with the accents, after seeing the widely varying amounts of success.

"Ok," Miss Miller said, but she was clearly sceptical and still looked concerned. "Now, let's see what you three have prepared, shall we?"

At lunch, Alex invited to sit with Josh and Liam. He was somewhat surprised when Katie and Pearl came to join them - as it turned out, Pearl was dating Liam - but was pleased at the same time, since he liked both the girls. The boys started out discussing their drama project, a fun, safe subject, and Alex was feeling relaxed. But when the girls arrived, it was dropped since they couldn't join in, and there was silence for a couple of minutes before Katie spoke.

"So, Alex, tell us about yourself."

He paused, fork halfway to his mouth. "Um… what do you want to know?" He could already feel himself closing in.

She shrugged. "What was Britain like?"

"Colder."

She rolled her eyes. "That tells me absolutely nothing. What was your life like there? Who were your friends?"

"There was Tom. He wasn't bright, but really good at sports. We were friendly rivals, and… yeah," he finished lamely.

Katie wasn't impressed. "You're useless at this. Why can't you say something lets us get to know you? Not just facts."

Alex studied his pasta. "I'm a very private person."

"Sorry. I just find it hard to be friends when I know nothing about someone."

"Then you'll have to go off what you find out about me here. I don't like talking about my life in England."

"Why not?"

He looked her straight in the eye. "I'm adopted. Surely you can make up some reason."

She looked a bit ashamed for pushing him, but didn't give up quite yet. "I don't want to believe half-truths or make rumours."

Alex recalled the constant gossip of the Brookland students and found himself liking her honesty. "Thank you."

She looked confused at that response, but was interrupted before she could reply.

"Hey, Alex. Settling in okay?"

"Sab! Yeah, I'm fine. Drama was fun."

"Great. Well, I'll see you after school." She walked off and Alex turned back to his friends. He was amused to see Josh's reaction to having the popular, highly sought-after girl stop at their table.

"You can stop drooling now," he smirked.

Josh blushed. "Wow. It's just sunk in that you're living with her. Lucky."

"Not really," Alex said regretfully. "I think it's more or less killed our relationship."

"You mean - you and her -"

He hesitated. "Not officially. But we were close."

Josh whistled. "I agree with Katie. We have a lot we need to learn about you. Come for a sleepover. You, me and Liam. We can pretend it's to work on our drama project. Does Friday suit you?"

Taken aback, Alex shrugged. "Maybe. I'll ask."

After all, he had started a new life and a few friends would make it a lot more pleasant.

Sure enough, on Friday, Alex turned up on Josh's doorstep clutching a duffle bag and was welcomed by the smell of cooking pizza. They chatted about girls, school and the best movies. At some point they ended up playing Truth or Dare, no doubt a ploy to squeeze more information out of Alex, but all they learnt was that he picked Dare so much that they ended up running out of ideas.

Josh's parents left them alone most of the time. His dad wasn't there at all, and he wasn't in any of the photos lining the walls of the living room, so Alex didn't even know if he was in the picture at all. His mum looked in a couple of times, a youthful, red-haired woman, and she poked her head in again when she heard them still laughing as it neared midnight.

"Time to settle down, boys. 'Night."

Alex went to sleep happily. He was having a good time, the others were really nice, and he hadn't been asked about his old life. His friends had barely learnt anything more about him - yet.

"You're doing just what I want," Julius said, and pressed the button.

But it wasn't Julius, Alex knew. It was him. He had caused Jack's death.

He could see her. The smoke was dissipating from the smouldering car wreck and revealing her twisted body. She rose robotically and brought empty eyes to fix on him.

"This is your fault."

"No, Jack," he muttered. She began to crumble into sand, blown away across the desert. "Jack, please. No, Jack, NO!"

Josh returned from the kitchen with a glass of water and crossed to his sleeping bag. He didn't notice anything off until he had to look down to step over Alex. His friend was thrashing slightly, muttering unintelligibly. He crouched down and could just about make out a repeated word - name, rather: Jack. Coming to a decision, Josh reached out and shook the boy out of sleep.

Alex sat up in a burst of sudden movement, shoving Josh backwards violently. The glass of water was dropped and smashed on the ground. He took in the scene as wakefulness returned to him, horrified when he saw the shocked teenager staring at him.

"I think I'm going to be sick," he announced, flinging back the blankets and stumbling from the room. Josh picked himself and followed more slowly, offering Liam, who had been woken by the commotion, a confused shrug.

"Go back to sleep. I'll see if he's okay."

Josh found Alex leaning with his hands on the countertop, wiping his mouth.

"Sorry about the glass. I'll clean it up." His voice was bleak, apathetic. It wasn't so much that he was emotionless as that he was suppressing his emotions.

"Don't worry about it."

"Boys! What are you doing up?" Josh's mum had woken as well, and was coming down the stairs in a pale blue dressing gown that contrasted her fiery hair. Her annoyance faded as she took in the scene. "What's the matter? Are you ill?"

Alex shook his head weakly. "I'll be okay."

"Too many sweets?"

"He was having a nightmare," Josh stated.

"Because he was sick?"

"I think it was the other way round. He was sick because of the nightmare."

Alex was still staring at the counter, not meeting their eyes.

"Is that true, Alex? Do you want to talk about it?" Josh's mum asked. He didn't know her name. He just knew that she was kind and understanding and not trying to push him and just-

"Like her. You look like her." He was still fogged by sleep, or he wouldn't be blurting this out.

"Like who, Alex?" Her face was confused, but all Alex could see was her face.

"Jack," he choked out, wondering at the treacherous prickling behind his eyes. "And it was my fault, all my fault…" He was starting to really cry now, in his delirious mutterings, and not-Jack stepped forward to pull him into a comforting embrace.

She felt him tense at the contact, but instead of relaxing into the hug liked she hoped, he grew more stiff. The sobs faded quickly, and when she looked up, a chilling, empty mask was in place. The boy - if he could even be called that - extricated himself and walked past them back to the living room, where he knelt and began to collect the shards of glass. Liam had returned to sleep and was snoring softly.

"You don't have to do that," Josh said.

Alex gave no sign that he had heard.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Five thirty."

He nodded and stood to carry his double handful of glass to the bin in the kitchen. "Go back to bed."

"What about you?"

He shrugged. "I'd like to be alone."

"If that's what you want," said Josh's mum. "But you should get some more sleep. There's a couch in the front room."

"Thanks," he replied, but he had no intention of using it. As soon as he had shut the door behind him, he started to work out. He could never face returning to the horrors of sleep after nightmares, and days of desperately trying to catch up had taught him the value of putting any spare time to good use.

Two hours later, when Josh's mum knocked lightly at the door and entered, she found him even more sweaty and tired, but a great deal more stable. It was obvious what he'd been doing.

Something was seriously wrong with Alex Pleasure.

A/N: And there you have the first chapter! The second is already written and I'll put it up in about a week. I was going to get a bit further before posting, but I'm starting to feel a need for feedback before I run out of steam and as I'm a British teenager writing a story set to some extent in the US, if anyone wants to start corresponding, that would be helpful as the Internet is actually incredbly unhelpful - I have no idea how your exams work, for example. Even if you're not American but just feel like a chat, feel free to PM me! It's amazing to basically have penfriends with at least one similar interest (AR, of course) and fun to learn about people living all over the globe.

Please review! Tell me what you like, what I can improve and if there are any typos to correct. Even one word is better than nothing, but be creative! Find something that sums up your feelings better than "great" or "terrible", I dare you. Lots of love to you all!