A/N

I'm a little bit speechless at the...support I received the last chapter. I had no idea that there were so many amazing, wonderful and beautiful people. Thank you so so much. I've tried to reply to as many reviews as I could but I haven't managed to reply to all of them yet, so here's my present for you.

Thank you for being so...kind to me...I don't know what I did to earn it but I love you all very much! (*hugs tightly*)

So :) enjoy dear katsudons! (^_^)

Chapter 12

The air was mildly cold, exacerbating the worry pulsing in Viktor's chest. Viktor tightened the baby-blue scarf around his neck and fumbled with Yutopia's doors before he managed to slide it open. The lights were a warm orange glow and the inn had a few straggling customers left. Viktor unwound the scarf around his neck and headed upstairs. As he passed by Yuuri's mother, Viktor gave the sweet, kind woman a fond wave and a warm smile.

The stairs creaked beneath Viktor's feet and the feeling of loneliness clung to his skin with bone-deep persistence. As soon as Viktor gently pushed open the door to Yuuri's room, the space beside him burned with acute emptiness. The space where Yuuri's body fit just perfectly into his arms. The space where Yuuri's warmth should be.

Viktor ran restless fingers through his hair and a frustrated sigh escaped his lips when he pulled out Makkachin's medical book and receipts from his pockets. The sight of strewn receipts on Yuuri's bed made Viktor feel vividly alone. He felt like a deserted man with no support from anyone.

Viktor thought that feeling of loneliness would slowly fade away. The feeling of him against the world. He thought that he would be free from those strands of isolating loneliness, but sometimes that feeling returned and hit him with the strength of a sledgehammer; but it was not as cloying as before...because, this time, Viktor had Yuuri by his side.

It wasn't like his empty apartment in Russia, with its white walls and quiet-as-death halls where nothing changed and everything was stagnant.

Even though, the loneliness returned with old greetings and warm hugs, Viktor felt less unanchored. Didn't feel like the emptiness would swallow him alive...because now there was someone who Viktor could share himself with. Whom Viktor wasn't afraid to be vulnerable with. Whose beautiful, scarred heart contained so much love that -some days- it took Viktor's breath away.

Viktor let his head thunk against the wall behind him. The soft, blue moonlight that streamed through the window reminded Viktor of the constancy of the universe. The thought that Yuuri slept under the same night sky and under the same stars soothed some of the loneliness and alienation brewing under Viktor's breast bone.

With a wry, bittersweet smile, Viktor fished his phone from the messy pile of knickknacks that were emptied from his pockets; and scrolled through his call log.

The last message Viktor received from Yuuri was eight hours ago and the sight stirred an unshakable feeling of concern in Viktor's lungs, so Viktor flicked his contact list open and called Yuuri's number.

The phone rang and rang and rang, but there was no reply...

Viktor glanced at his phone in dismay because Yuuri never missed his calls. Never went so long without leaving a message, so Viktor ran an agitated thumb across his bottom lip before he re-dialled Yuuri's number. The rings carried on again and Viktor's stomach gave a flip of anticipation, but after the fifth ring there was a click. Relief reared its head and Viktor breathed an alleviated sigh: "Yuuri? Lasoch'ka-"

The voice that answered him wasn't Yuuri's familiar tones, it was Yuratchka's.

"Shh- he's sleeping, dumbass. You're gonna wake him up with all those insistent calls."

Viktor blinked in surprise and the shock lasted for a second, before Viktor's mind was flooded with concern.

"Yura?- Wha-What? Where's Yuuri?"

"He's still not feeling so well. I was out with Beka the whole day and when I got back to check in on Katsudon...he was stumbling back from the ice rink. I think the damn piglet pushed himself too hard."

Viktor's heart clenched and an overwhelming stream of guilt and self loathing assaulted him. He should be the one there with Yuuri. He should be the one there by Yuuri's side. How the hell can he call himself a worthy partner if his love was suffering a world away and Viktor was here twiddling his thumbs?

"It's been days, Yura. Take him to the doctor. I can't. I'm not there -"

The young skater's voice was tired and slightly grouchy, but the soft words soothed the small undercurrent of desperation under Viktor's skin.

"Vitya. I can't make the damn piglet go if he doesn't want to! Katsudon, said he was fine and...well, he didn't look that bad this morning. If he was, I wouldn't have left him alone."

"Why's he still like that, then?! There must be something causing this-" Viktor's voice tapered off into a tired, aching sigh and Viktor pressed a palm into his lips. The words and the helplessness that lingered on his tongue felt like ash. Thick, cloying and every speck was as fine as dust.

Minuscule unnameable words floated on the tip of Viktor's tongue, yet he couldn't find the words to articulate them, so he pushed them back in, where they gathered into a solid lump behind his voice box.

"Just-Just don't worry too much, old man. Let me handle it. I'll take care of the Kastudon-!" The stuttered, embarrassed and grumpy words from Yura brought a fresh wave of fondness and Viktor couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips.

There was an indignant pause that was so heavy, it practically fell out of the phone's speakers. A moment later, there was a miffed and irate snort before the young skater practically snarled into the phone lines.

"Shut up, stupid Vitya! Fine. I'm not gonna talk to you if you're just going to laugh at me!" Viktor muffled the last string of chuckles behind the skin of his knuckles, and the fond smile that stretched the corners of Viktor's lips bled into his voice too.

"Sorry, Yura. I'm not laughing at you. I'm not. It's just really nice to see how much you care for Yuuri." Viktor's voice dropped into a lower whisper...sincere and filled with raw emotion.

"Thank you, Yura," There was a long pause. Viktor could imagine the blush that was staining little Yura's cheeks and Viktor's cheeks quirked up in a mischievous, amused grin.

"What the hell was that for, dumbass! I don't do this to get anything out of you, so stuff that misconception where the sun doesn't shine-" Viktor bit his lips and waited for the rant to pass.

"-So yeah. How's the furry ball doin'? Is the damn cotton fuzz still sick?"

"Much better. He's at the vet for a while so they can keep him under observation. I brought him to get his weekly follow-up done but it seems like he's developed a fever, so they'll be keeping him there for a day or two."

"Good for the furball. So, when will you be flying back? The Katsudon's free skate program is coming up in two days."

Viktor gave minute grimace and tapped a finger against the bed sheets that still held the faint traces of Yuuri's scent.

"I can't make it in such a short time. My earliest flight will be in ten days." The guilt that was regulated to the background shouldered forward until it occupied Viktor's parietal lobe.

"I'll tell the Katsudon know when he wakes up-" There were shuffling sounds and Yuratchka's voice drifted away. In the background, Viktor could hear Otabek's calm, steady voice and the flare of gratitude infused Viktor's lungs until the thick ball of mangled guilt and melancholy slowly melted away.

"Oi, Vitya. There's-" His friend's voice floated back towards the phone's speakers, but there was a note of hesitance that perked Viktor's curiosity.

"There's something I want to ask- Is Katsudon your soulmate?- but ya don't have to answer if you-" Viktor cut off his friend's evasive rambles and answered in the calmest voice he could muster.

"I don't know. We haven't had it confirmed yet-" Viktor gave the poster peeking out from Yuuri's desk a deep, thoughtful glance.

"It doesn't matter anyway. We don't need soulmarks or soulmates to be happy, Yura."

Viktor loved Yuuri and that was enough. That was enough, because he never really cared for soulmates. Never believed that god or some mysterious, deterministic force like destiny, will dictate who you love. Who he chooses to share his life with.

Viktor's parents were soulmates but they were always unhappy, and Viktor would rather spend his life avoiding the same fallacies his parents believed in. The memory of his parents only brought Viktor a bittersweet ache in his chest that was like an old, scabbed-over wound; healed but never really gone. Viktor never wanted to be like his parents. Never wanted to live in an unhappy home where unhappiness was the norm and affection was the anomaly.

"Well, duh - I know that, but- I just think you should talk to each other about this…"

When Viktor heard Yuratchka's voice waver, a spike of uncertainty nudged at his composure.

"What? Why?- Do you think that this involves Yuuri somehow? Is this what's-"

"Oi, Vitya! Calm down. God damn it -" Viktor forced the panic back down his esophagus and it settled like a cold metallic ball of dread at the base of his spine.

"It's- It's nothing! I just- I get the feeling that Katsudon's avoiding something…"

Viktor mouthed the words to himself. Those words slowly sunk into his skin and dyed every skin cell with the blackness of sick anticipation.

"-maybe... I don't know- It might not be a something- Maybe the piglet's avoiding someone."

"Someone ." Distantly, through a tunnel Viktor heard how dead, neutral and frosty his voice sounded. The ball of dread pressing against Viktor's spine pushed frigid icy crystals through his bloodstream until all Viktor's limbs were as cold as the gold medals he had won.

There was a bang from the phone and Viktor heard Yuratchka give a loud curse before he shot Viktor a hasty goodbye: "Shit! Fuck! The damn fucking bowls are too slippery- Ok, don't worry I'll take care of Katsudon. I'll call you when he's up."

The phone call ended with a beep, and Viktor sat in the too-loud silence of the room like a mannequin doll. Viktor's body was motionless but the words that played on a hamster wheel in his mind didn't stop. The thought wiggled underneath Viktor's skin and it lodged itself in his mind with the force of a burrowing worm. The seed had been planted and try as Viktor might, there was no getting rid of the whispers that this seed produced.

The whispers that crawled behind Viktor's ears and made a home there. The whispers of doubt that said that maybe Yuuri was so sick because Yuuri met his soulmate...A soulmate that isn't Viktor. The fear and conflict that Yuuri must be in...could have exacerbated his illness. Maybe that was why Yuuri couldn't tell Viktor...Maybe Yuuri couldn't decide.

Just the thought of someone else's hands traveling that skin, someone else's eyes gazing into those chocolate-brown eyes, someone else's heart receiving all that unclouded affection, lit Viktor's heart on fire. Viktor pressed a fist against his sick stomach and the dry, scratchy feeling at the corner of his eyes were an old, familiar sensation. It was the sensation of pain; it was heartbreak past the point of tears.

Side A/N

Hi everyone, sorry I just wanted to ask for a small request...I just started a new YOI fic called 'Faulty Compass' and I was wondering if you do have time...could you maybe just pop over and read it? I just wanted some feedback on the universe and whether I should incorporate magic into it... :)

THANK YOU!~ :D