When Saeyoung had told you the date and time he wanted to schedule your first official date together, you went out and bought a brand new outfit. You got your hair and nails done using money in your account, and you made sure you were well and pampered by the time you were to meet Saeyoung at noon. You took the time to admire yourself in the mirror wearing the lovely new outfit that you were sure both you and Saeyoung would enjoy before you left the apartment. Your heart was fluttering with excitement in your chest, making your appetite weaker than it would be normally. Well, your appetite hasn't been good for a while now, so it made no difference to you.

You met him in a park near the fountain. You didn't immediately go over to him, instead taking in how he looked all dressed up for you. It was still his casual clothes, but you could tell he had at least brushed his hair and his clothing looked nicer than the stuff you had seen him in previously. Everything looked newer. He was stunning. It took your breath away, and you had to pause for a moment to realize where and when you were.

You had been on dates in the past with the other RFA members. You could still remember vaguely the outfit Yoosung had worn on your first proper date together. You recalled Jaehee's smile as you two picked out outfits together for your date. This was nothing new to you. However, it was Saeyoung. That made all of the difference.

"Hi!" You breathed as you finally joined him. You preened under his attentive once-over he gave you before he grinned and stood up.

"Wow! Did you get all dressed up for little ol' me?" He teased.

"One has to look their best when in the presence of a god, after all!" Your hand reached for his, and he didn't hesitate to link your fingers together. It warmed you up immensely. Saeyoung had become accustomed to the casual touches between the two of you. You were glad it no longer flustered or amazed him when you wanted to hold his hand.

"Of course, of course~" He sang cheerfully. "Are you ready to go then? No driving this time! We're walking everywhere today!"

"Oh no~" You playfully bemoaned. "Exercise! What about your junk food tummy? Think of the children!"

"I don't have that much of a junk food gut." He pinched your nose in retaliation before pausing briefly to look you over again. His smile dropped into a concerned frown. "Speaking of which . . . you've lost weight."

You didn't want to talk about this. You didn't want to do this right now. You had made this promise to yourself. This was your IOU being called upon. No no no no!

You smiled stiffly. "I'm on a diet." Saeyoung furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth, obviously about to call you out on your lie, but you stared at him in the eye and mentally begged him to drop it. You squeezed his hand and smiled wider, but it only felt faker to you. "No worries, no worries~" You sang and tugged him along. "Where are we going today, Saeyoung? Tell me!"

Saeyoung took the hint, although he did so with great reluctance and unhappiness. You tried to turn a blind eye to his displeasure.

The two of your spent the day together exploring the city to your liking. You went to the arcade first and challenged each other to different games. You couldn't say you went to the arcade often, but playing with Saeyoung proved to be a blast. He was clearly better at the games, but you were able to hold your own on certain ones. The rhythm games appeared to be your forte, but of course Saeyoung was fantastic at the shooting and fighting games. He even bragged about being able to get almost any toy from the claw machine. He dared you to choose a toy, and when you did he really did prove himself by the third try.

"It's all mathematics!" He thumbed at his nose as you hugged the stuffed cat. He poked at its soft plush tummy, cheeks red from his own excitement. He looked like a teenager again with his eyes shining like that in the low lights of the arcade. It made you want to kiss him. You resisted.

"It took you three tries, though." You pointed out.

"Trial and error. I had to test the grip of the claw."

After you two tired of playing games, Saeyoung took you to a cute little café not far from there. You chose a booth hidden in the corner near some plants but with a good view out at the sidewalk. Saeyoung excused himself temporarily to use the restroom, so you stared around the café. Your heart ached as the scent of coffee evoked gentle memories of working with Jaehee in the café you two had shared together. It reminded you of winter nights curled up next to each other, and the clink of the porcelain against each other stirred emotions to scenes you couldn't remember. You blinked away a tear that formed in your eyes and turned your gaze outside. You missed Jaehee.

Saeyoung returned to the table and you smiled at him. He didn't smile back though as his eyes softened with worry and faint sadness. You reached across the table and touched his hand, calling his name with confusion. He took your hand in his and kissed your fingers, lips lingering.

"I wish you would talk to me." He said quietly.

"I am talking to you." You tried to tease. He wasn't falling for it.

"You know what I mean. I know I've been absent, but that doesn't mean I don't care."

You looked away from him. "I don't want to talk about it." Your told him, voice hard but still oh so weak. You gave him a small desperate smile, the pull of your lips feeling painful. "I want to enjoy this date with you . . . without the worry of anything else. Please."

Saeyoung wouldn't let you go. "Tell me after, then. You helped me when I was hurting . . . so let me do the same for you."

Your throat thickened and tears appeared in your eyes. His face became stricken at the sight. "You won't like what I have to say." You informed him truthfully even as your voice threatened to crack and break under the strain of your emotions. "And I don't want you to be upset with me."

"I won't." He swore to you, leaning forward imploringly. "I'll listen honestly to you."

"Later." You begged. "Please let me just have this. You owe me, remember?"

"I don't." He confessed with a slightly bitter laugh, but you could tell he was allowing the topic to drop. It took a long while to reorient yourself and bring yourself back to a happier mood. You weren't as successful as you would've liked to be.

You two discussed other things while you ate. You weren't very hungry despite not haven eaten in a long while. You only picked at the delicious dessert you had ordered, but you did drink the coffee. It wasn't as good as Jaehee's, you thought, but it was still tasty. When you two were finished at the café, Saeyoung took you to go see a movie. You paused to stare at his choice, suddenly confused. Since when was this movie out? You had thought it was on DVD already. You shot him a baffled look.

"It's freaky." He told you as you two took your seats, a large popcorn and soda between the both of you. "We watched this before with each other, remember? Although we had Zen and Yoosung with us too at the time. I remember you liked it too, so I thought you would want to see it again. Do you remember it?"

You honestly didn't. You knew you had seen it, but you couldn't recall what it was about. You didn't remember ever going to see it with Saeyoung and Zen and Yoosung. You wondered who you had been with at that time. You didn't ask him.

Just like Saeyoung recalled, you did love the movie immensely. You became immersed in the storyline and cuddled up against your boyfriend. You both whispered jokes to each other and giggled into each other's shoulders or hair. You ate much more of the popcorn than you realized throughout the movie as Saeyoung quoted a line or two of the movie to you. You didn't know how he could remember things in such detail like that.

You two walked together and chatted about the movie and the acting the entire time you were outside and in the car. You were so caught up in just being with Saeyoung and enjoying life that you hadn't even realized you had arrived home. There were no words necessary about inviting him upstairs, although you doubted tonight would end with a sexual encounter. It would be nice, you thought, but you knew Saeyoung well enough that you knew as soon as the door to your apartment was closed and you both were inside that he wouldn't let your troubles go.

You were somewhat incorrect. When you closed the door, you felt his hands cup your cheek and pull you into a kiss. You gasped at the soft intensity of it as he coaxed your mouth open for a languid kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and melted into him, humming with delight. This was much better. You could taste the Ph.D Pepper he had drank earlier as well as the salt that still lingered on his lips from the popcorn. It turned you on more than you thought it would.

Saeyoung pulled back with a sigh as he told you, "I love you. I will always love you. I don't know what is troubling you, but I want to take it all onto me so you don't need to suffer anymore." You opened your mouth, surprised, and you were about to deny that you were suffering, but he cut you off, "No, don't lie to me anymore. I know you're just trying to be strong. I've realized you had to develop that, didn't you? You've probably gone through a lot of shit that none of us can remember. I wonder what you were like before all of these resets started? I can't remember that time.

But I know what it's like to have to hide behind a front. You've taught me that I don't have to, and I want the same to be for you. I recognize the signs in you, you know. I've seen them in others before. You're barely eating, you're locking yourself away, you don't want to talk about it . . . The others have noticed too. I've seen them mention it on the chat. They've messaged me about it." His hand brushed your hair from your face and behind your ears. "You don't have to be scared. Tell me what's wrong. I'll try to help you any way that I can." He implored you.

His sweet words only stabbed you more and more. You hadn't fooled him for a second, did you? You hadn't fooled any of the RFA members. You began to cry, broken sobs ripping from your chest. He kissed your tears as they rolled down your cheeks, whispering your name sadly. You were so damn tired of crying, but the guilt on your soul was immense. Your legs couldn't support you. Saeyoung caught you before you could collapse to the ground.

"It's all my fault!" You sobbed, hiding your face in your hands. "I messed up! I know I did! We were all supposed to have survived, right? This is supposed to be our happy ending! So wh-why did V have to die? Th-There has to be something I can do differently! I-I-I . . . I'm so sad, Saeyoung. I want to go back. I want to save him but . . ." You curled in on yourself, hugging yourself tightly and shaking. The truth was crushing you. "But I can't, r-right? You're finally happy! A-And we have Saeran! And we've stopped Mint Eye! And-and-and . . . ! But God-!" You cut yourself off. You couldn't speak anymore as you keened with pain.

Saeyoung pulled you into his arms and held you tightly to him. His knees came up to completely encompass you in his arms as your hands came up to clench tightly into his shirt. So much for your makeover and hair. You would be a mess by the end of this. Saeyoung refused to let you go as you released your pain into his shoulder. He rocked gently, pressing his lips to your hair as he murmured your name again and again. The tears in his own voice only broke you more.

You didn't know how long you were hysterical. Your only lifeline was the man holding you unerringly. His arms kept you steady even as you fell to pieces. You had kept your confession in for so long terrified of what he would say to you in response to the part of you that wanted a reset to occur. But you didn't really want to go back to the beginning. You didn't want to start all over. You just wanted to fix what had gone wrong!

"It's okay to feel that way." Saeyoung told you with a gasping breath. He removed his glasses and you felt him press tear-stained eyes to your own shoulder. "I feel that way too. I kept thinking about it as well. About what we could've done differently. About how we could've prevented things from going so badly."

"You . . . you did?" You asked weakly into the skin of his neck. You had thought he hated V still. You knew he had forgiven the man somewhat, but you didn't think he had forgiven him enough to wish the same thing as you.

"Yes. But . . . God, then I started thinking of how things could've gone worse." He said. "If we had gone back . . . and done everything the same but different . . . how much different would we be now? What if you had died instead? What if someone had taken out Saeran first? I could've lost everything. We could forget V even died and just replayed the same scenario all over again. The resets are too random. We don't know what we'll remember. We can't rely on them."

Saeyoung pulled away from you and held your face between his hands again. His eyes were red and frankly he looked about as horrible as you felt. It made you feel slightly better as you blinked a couple more tears out. "We'll never get a perfect ending. We'll never get a perfect ending." He repeated with more emphasis. "It's trial and error. And I don't want us to go through that. We . . . we deserve this much. God gave us this. Please . . . please don't think any more of the 'what-ifs'. I want to be here with you in the now. Stay with me here. Please."

He was begging you, and you could only stare at him. Because his words rang true in you. The odd piece in your heart vibrated with his words, and suddenly the piece didn't feel like an odd one out anymore. It fit together with the rest of you, making what seemed like your entire soul shudder. The effect left you breathless. You would never get a perfect ending. You hated it. It was so hateful. But . . . But Saeyoung was right. You had him. He had you. You both were alive and healthy and together. Saeyoung was free from the agency, and his brother was alive and well.

This . . . This was your true ending, wasn't it?

"It's hard." You whimpered.

"I know." He responded. "I know it's hard."

"I." You swallowed and pressed your forehead to his. You thought back as far as you could to the happiness in your life. You thought of all of the good things that came with this timeline. You recalled how much you loved Saeyoung and all you both had gone through to get where you were now. You wanted to have more happy dates with him like today. You wanted to spend nights in bed with him like you had done before. You wanted to experience the holidays with him year after year. You wanted that child-like smile he had shown you back at the arcade back.

You could be happy.

"I want to get married in a space station with you." You laughed wetly. "A-And I want Elizabeth the third to be my best lady. And I want to travel with you. And I want to cook dinner for you and me and Saeran. And I want to wake up beside you without fear that it'll start over again."

"Yeah. Yeah, me too!" He breathed, smiling. "I want to see you grow old with me. And I want to have four hundred children with you!"

You laughed even more, brighter this time. "Let's aim for something more realistic. Like . . . sixty-nine."

He gasped with delight. "Naughty! I love it."

You kissed him then, giggling with him as the last of your tears faded. You weren't completely healed, but you had a feeling you never really would be. You had lost a friend when V had died, and you had a feeling that you had also lost your hateful power as well. You were free.

Someday soon you would meet with Saeran again, and you would move in with Saeyoung. Saeyoung would propose to you with all of your friends present, and the RFA would be reborn in the ashes of this entire disaster. Things wouldn't be perfect, but you could be happy. Saeyoung's hand was tight in yours, and if you reached to the side you knew that the others in the RFA would catch it. You would all move forward together. No more resets, no more do-overs, and no more worries of waking up back at the beginning. You could finally start a new chapter. One step at a time.

A/N: So I have a couple more one shot ideas I have planned for this particular AU, but I thought this story could end here. If you have possible suggestions for one shot ideas for this universe, lmk. Even if they're what-ifs. I'm a sucker for angst :3