Hello guys ! Sorry for the long wait, this chapter was hell to write as Luffy is truly an awful character to write (at least to me) cause I never really know how he'll react plus my Ace was being too much of a drama queen so... Yeah ^^ After rewritting it a billion times, I'm quite satisfied of this version so I hope you like it too ! Don't hesitate to tell me what you thought about it ! And as always thanks to every reader who left kudos and commented, you're my motivation !

Chapter 23: Grace period is over (Sucker!)

Luffy was restless, he couldn't stay still. He was pacing in his flat, feet thumping loudly on the ground as he walked back and forth, from the living room to the kitchen and back to the living room once more. He would sit on the couch for a few seconds before jumping back up and he would look out the window, pressing his nose against the window pane to try and make out Ace's figure coming back despite the darkness. Yet, each and every time, there wasn't anyone.

Luffy didn't know what to feel. Sadness, pain, anger, fury, betrayal. They all blended together, leaving him reeling, heart in his throat. He was unable to process the words he had been told. Unable to get his mind around it. Unable to believe it. Unable to decide what exactly he had to do, what he needed to do. So he was left pacing around like a caged lion. He wasn't one to sit around and wait.

Luffy suddenly got up again, and made his way to the window, staring outside. It was already dark, night had fallen a while ago and Ace was still out. He was gone who knows where and wouldn't be back for who knows how long, again, preferring to deal with whatever was wrong with him by going outside, by being away from Luffy.

Ace didn't tell him anything anymore anyways. He had been keeping a lot of things to himself for years, starting with his personal life, Marco, Kid, drugs, alcohol... and his fucking suicide attempts. Plural. So this, whatever it entailed, whatever it was, was just something Ace hadn't talked to Luffy about. Again. The young man had thought, had hoped after visiting his brother in the hospital that he had been told everything, that his brother trusted him enough to confess and to rely on him. But no, of course not. It was somehow not surprising to be left in the dark yet again, but it hurt.

It hurt and it was infuriating. Why had Ace gone outside? Was it because of the will? Because of something else entirely? Luffy didn't know but he wished he did. A will. Ace had made a will, or so this secretary had told Luffy. What kind of people made wills? Only rich old people made them and Ace was neither. A will. It wasn't normal. It meant something, something probably bad but Luffy didn't get it, couldn't get it, didn't want to, truly. Was Ace... was Ace? No it wasn't possible. It couldn't be true. He would have known. There was no way Ace was... that he was...

Luffy sat back down on the couch, took his phone and dialled Brook. If Ace was going to be a moron about it all, then Luffy sure as hell was going to get the truth from somewhere else.

Brook answered after three rings in a jovial way

"Hello Luffy!" He greeted him.

No need to beat around the bush.

"Brook why does Ace have a will?" He demanded.

An uncomfortable silence followed, only broken by the uneasy clearing of Brook's throat.

"... Eh Luffy that... is a question I can't answer... It's best you ask your brother." He offered diplomatically.

"But you only need a will when you are dying right? Why does Ace need a will then." He went on, voicing out his questions, his fears.

"..."

"Fuck." Luffy swore, springing up and beginning to pace in the living room. "Fuck!"

Brook was silent on the other end and wasn't offering any word to deny Luffy's claim. It had to be true then.

"It's true then." Luffy said, glaring at the window. "I need to go." He said and ended the call rather abruptly, leaving a concerned Brook listening to the ring tone, concerned about his friend. He knew it would all come to that when Ace asked him not to tell anything to Luffy.

The lamp on the table next to the couch went flying, shattering on the ground, spraying shards of glass everywhere.

Goddammit. Luffy was seeing red. Where was Ace when Luffy needed to give him a piece of his mind? Worry mixed with anger and he was left wanting to destroy everything, including Ace's face. Luffy felt betrayed. Ace had lied and not about some trivial thing, oh no. It was way worse and Ace was going to regret it.

Ace...

His anger didn't abate even as an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness invaded his mind and body. He felt helpless and he hated it.

Exhaling shakily, he took his phone and unlocked the screen, his fingers shaking. Going in his contact list he bypassed Ace's name to reach Law's. He would have a conversation with his brother in person. Putting the phone next to his ear, Luffy wished for his lover to answer despite knowing Law was working. He needed to hear his voice. Luffy wasn't wise on his best days but Law was. Law would know what to do. He always did.

The call connected after five rings and an automatic voice asked Luffy if he wanted to leave a message. He didn't. He wouldn't know where to start, he just needed to hear Law's voice. He didn't know why, he just needed to. He disconnected the call and typed out a message, asking his lover to call him back.

Getting back up he made his way to the kitchen, plastering his face to the window in this room, hoping to see the silhouette of his dumbass of a lying asshole brother. A face that he was soon going to fucking punch.

- L.G -

Ace just couldn't catch a break. As soon as he was out of the frying pan he had to fall into the fire. And not a nice campfire style one, no, more like a blaze or even an inferno. No break caught, indeed.

Calming down after his phone call had been impossible. He was freaking out too much, second guessing his decision of severing all contacts with Marco. He had burnt bridges anyway so now there was no saving them. Ace would have to live with this choice even if it tore him apart and didn't feel like closure at all. Which sucked. What's done was done anyway so he only needed to move forward from then on. No need to linger, to worry or to think back on it too much. Or so Ace had tried to convince himself for the past two hours. In vain, really, but he had tried. He had wanted to walk around, letting the cold air seep in to banish all thoughts but he had given up rather fast, his muscles aching. Instead he had settled in Starbucks, ordering a sugary thing people called coffee, surrounded by people going about their days. It was interesting looking at them and imagining what their lives were like. It probably was less messy than his. And it had the added bonus of taking him mind off of his own trouble.

So that was the frying pan, the whole mess with Marco, and this right there was the fucking fire. This being his little brother punching the hell out of him as soon as Ace stepped into their apartment.

"What the fuck Luffy!" He cried out, stunned by such an uncalled-for display of violence. "What is wrong with you?"

Brows furrowed, Ace threw a pissed look at his brother who had already taken a few steps back. That's when he noticed the stormy expression on Luffy's face, his fists curled tightly, jaw clenched in an obvious show of anger.

To say that Ace was confused would be an understatement. Was this because he had left so suddenly not warning Luffy beforehand? But he often did it, it shouldn't garner him such an aggressive welcome. Luffy gritted his teeth and took a threatening step forward, raising his arm as if to punch him again.

"Hey hey Luffy!" Ace said again, raising his hands in a placating manner. "I don't know what's going on but calm down!"

It was probably the wrong thing to say as Luffy scoffed – actually, honest to God scoffed – glaring murder at Ace. He seemed to be muttering something under his breath, but it was too low for Ace to hear. Luffy suddenly reached for the closest thing to him, a nice blue and white vase – which Sabo had bought when he was in his feng-shui-crap period – and threw it hard at Ace's head. It shattered on the door in a deafening sound of broken glass, right where Ace's head had been. His heart hammering in his ribcage, Ace could only stare wide eyed at his brother who whirled around and stomped angrily to the kitchen.

"Goddammit Luffy, are you crazy?!" He shouted at Luffy's retreating back, finally getting his bearing backs and following him to the kitchen, baffled and pissed off.

"What the fuck was that about?" He exclaimed furiously, taking in his little brother pacing around the room, teeth gritted. Luffy threw him a murderous glare and went back to his pacing. Ace was confused, something was wrong, but he also felt righteously angry at Luffy who better have a damn good explanation for his behaviour. He had just had a crappy day and all he wanted was to sit in the couch and watch some TV while Luffy rambled about his day. A quiet, nice night in. Was it too much to ask? Why couldn't Luffy be more understanding? As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he regretted it because Luffy had been nothing if not understanding this past few weeks, after his ... close call and Ace was being unfair. Yet, right now, he was also pretty mad.

"Stop pacing around Luffy and explain yourself!" He demanded, arms crossed, a sour look crossed his face.

"You think you can order me around?!" Luffy exploded, turning around and facing his brother, talking for the first time, voice loud and dripping with anger. "You think you deserve the truth?" The bitterness in his voice was palpable.

Ace was stunned for a second by this answer and Luffy took advantage of this opportunity to shoulder his way out of the kitchen, knocking into Ace harshly. Ace tried to grab him to prevent him from leaving because this conversation was so not over, but he failed as Luffy was quicker.

"It's not about ordering you around and I'm not owed the truth or anything! I just want to understand what's fucking gotten into you! It's about being reasonable, but I guess you can't be." Ace spat as he followed Luffy into the living room.

All Ace had felt before going out earlier was a deep-seated feeling of worry and apathy at having to deal with a mountain of inextricable problems. Now, now his anger had come back and for an obscure reason, Ace couldn't stop it from rising. Couldn't stop being angry at his little brother who had assaulted him without any reason whatsoever.

Luffy whirled around and answered scathingly.

"Reasonable? You think this is about me being unreasonable? You think that I am unreasonable?"

Ace stopped short, not willing to get too close to Luffy in case he lost it again and tried to punch him in the face. Of course, this was what it was about! Ace didn't understand a thing about this situation, he hadn't meant to become so angry but Luffy was just bordering on insanity. What the hell had happened for him to act like that? Ace was the big brother, he had to stop this situation from getting any more out of hand and get some explanations.

"You did attack me..." He tried diplomatically but unable to hide the sneer in his tone and the emphasis on the second word.

"You deserved it!" Luffy shouted, throwing his hands in the air but not breaking eye contact with Ace. His eyes were full of anger, fury and disdain. It was painful to see Luffy looking at him like that. They argued sometimes but mostly because Luffy was being childish or doing something that would get him in jail – or killed. This though, this was different because Ace was on the receiving end of Luffy's hatred and it had never happened before. It was unsettling and hurtful in an unfathomable way.

"I'm not unreasonable!" Luffy went on, unbothered by Ace's internal freak out. "Or do you think I'm also stupid? That I don't understand why I'm angry?"

"That's not what I said!" Ace exclaimed, feeling the situation slipping out of his hands entirely. "But why would you punch me? I didn't do anything!"

Luffy didn't respond but it probably took a lot out of him not to jump at Ace's throat if the older man took in his brother's clenched fists and tensed body, ready to jump. Ace broke eye contact with Luffy first, not able to hold it any longer, and his gaze settled on the remain of a lamp, completely shattered on the ground.

"Why is the lamp..." He began but couldn't finish as another object was flying toward his face. Seeing it from the corner of his eye he ducked, avoiding the ashtray by an inch. It crashed into the wall and broke upon reaching the ground, filling the room with the unpleasant smell of stale tobacco.

"Stop destroying our apartment!" Ace shouted, rising back up, fury coursing through his veins. "You're out of control! Calm the fuck down!"

Oh, he was. He was angry and pissed off beyond belief. Luffy had not been able to calm down after calling Brook and not being able to reach Law hadn't made it better so when Ace had come back Luffy had lashed out. Seeing Ace, arriving as if nothing had changed, as if he wasn't lying to him on a daily basis, well it had made him see red and Luffy had punched the fuck out of his brother. Which, admittedly, might not have been a good conversation opener but at least it had been satisfying.

What did Ace think? That because he was the older brother he was allowed to lie? Screw that. Screw him. Betrayal was the worst and on a pirate ship, Luffy would have already pushed him off the fucking plank and into the shark's' mouth.

Luffy knew that he couldn't deal with this issue like that, but it was so hard to think about a solution. He wasn't a thinker, never had been. He was impulsive, hot heated and just did things when they seemed right or necessary. This situation was just throwing him for a loop. He didn't know how to act especially when he was so blinded by his own rage, mind filled with the thoughts of betrayal and lies. He was hurting badly so he was lashing out, that was it. Unconsciously he wanted Ace to react, to show him his emotions, to finally interact with him without the barrier of lies and maybe to hurt him as he had hurt Luffy. He didn't really get what he was really feeling, it was all messed up in his head and all he could feel was a deep-seated anger that just poured out of him in waves and he was unable to stop it. All he wanted was an explanation, something, anything but Ace wasn't forthcoming. He was just hiding, lying, deflecting... And Luffy was done and he had exploded.

"I am calm!" Luffy roared.

"Obviously!" Ace sneered, just as loudly. "Why are you angry?!" Ace shouted in turn, the two brothers now facing each other, standing a few feet away, close but apart in so many ways. "Does it have anything to do with Trafalgar? Is that why you won't tell me?"

Ace should have realised that it wasn't about anyone but himself and maybe he had and already knew that. He simply couldn't understand why Luffy would be mad at him, what he could have done to make Luffy so mad. He wasn't aware of the phone call, wasn't aware that Luffy knew too much, couldn't fathom that his anger came from Ace's lies. So, his brain fuelled with anger came up with an alternate explanation.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Ace shouted, already turning around to put his plan of castrating the bastard in motion.

"Don't you dare leave this apartment. I am not finished with you!", Luffy snarled, grabbing Ace's arm strongly and making him turn around with force. "Leave him out of this!" He said between gritted teeth. "This, this is between you and me!"

"Wha-" Ace started, dizzy from his sudden spin and hurting from the too tight grip his brother had on his elbow.

"I want to punch you to the moon and back so bad! Did you think that I was clueless? That I would never find out?!" He exploded at last, letting out his griefs, not having the patience for Ace to be forthcoming, if he even had it to begin with. "I'm so fucking angry with you!"

"Why are you? What is this about? You punched me, I am the one who should be angry!" He retorted.

"And I should punch you again because it seems that the first time didn't work out!"

"Are you out of your damn mind?!"

"No! I'll tell you why I'm angry!"

"Please do cause I'm losing patience here!"

"You only ever tell me what you want! THAT'S my problem!" Luffy shouted, getting in Ace's face, waving his arms wildly, his control having snapped again.

"Wha-"

"It's always the same! Keeping me in the dark, dealing with things on your own and when everything is said and done, you remember that I fucking exist!" Luffy growled, baring his teeth, anger pouring out of him in waves, leaving

Ace... hadn't seen that coming. Luffy was angry because he was being kept out of the loop? Was that what it was about? Of course, Ace had left without saying anything and Luffy had probably heard his phone call to Marco and he definitely knew that Ace wasn't doing well these days so he was mad. He had a right to be, of course, but Ace didn't tell him to protect him, it had nothing to do with forgetting that Luffy existed. Of course, he knew, Luffy's existence was the one constant thing that brought him joy in this world. floundering, trying to come up with an answer.

"Luf-"

"Why can't you just tell the whole truth once in a while?" He accused him, grabbing Ace by the lapel of his shirt, eyes narrowed. "Why do you always lie to me!" He roared.

What? Why was Luffy accusing him of lying? He had told Luffy everything that was relevant, everything he had needed to know. Unless... An unsettling feeling began welling inside Ace as his heartbeat quickened and a cold shiver coursed through his body, replacing his anger. No, there was no way Luffy had discovered the truth.

"Do you think I'm untrustworthy? Do you think that I am still the little brat you had to look out for?!" Luffy went on, not noticing the changes on Ace's face, his eyebrows now pulled together, and his mouth having lost its scowl.

Luffy's fingers were turning white from the force he was using to grip Ace's shirt. Why wouldn't his brother tell him anything? Why was he always telling him things that were already done? Didn't he trust him? Even a little?

"I thought you had told me everything. I thought that... that back at the hospital you had told me everything! Why can't you just tell me things I need to know?!" His voice shook and his next intake of breath was shaky.

Ace's heart seemed to miss a beat as fear seized it like a vice, freezing his blood in his veins.

"Wha – But I told you everything..." Ace uttered unconvincingly even to his own ears, his voice losing its angry edge as dread welled up in his tone.

No, no, no. It wasn't possible. No way. Did Luffy know? But how? It wasn't possible. It couldn't be true. Ace's panic rose as his heart beat harshly, making him dizzy, anger completely forgotten in the face of Luffy's accusations. Ace had to calm down. Luffy couldn't know. Who would have told him anyway? Next to no one knew. Dadan, Brook, Dr Lenoir, Dr Whitcraft and... Law. Fear became more real, more tangible. Of course. Of course.

"No, you didn't!" Luffy thundered.

No, no, no, no! What had Law told him? What did Luffy knew? Oh God Ace was going to be sick. He was going to pass out. Everything. Everything he had done was to avoid this.

"I don't – don't think so..." He choked uneasily, because Luffy was looking at him and because he couldn't betray on his face that he was terrified, that a cold fist of fear was gripping his heart very tightly. Too tightly to breathe.

"How obtuse can you be?! Do I have to spell it out for you? I thought I was the slow one!" Luffy shouted, still holding his brother's shirt and shaking him forceful, too pissed off to be gentle.

No. Just no. If Luffy knew... then everything was for naught. Luffy couldn't know. He probably didn't know anything. It was probably about something else. Anything else would be better than the truth. God. Luffy knew he had lied. Luffy knew. And Luffy hated him.

"I didn't – didn't lie..." He said, trying to breathe through his mouth and get some air in his lungs. Black spots danced in his vision, Luffy's face became blurry. No, no, no, his mind was on a loop of denial, but it was already too late.

"Then why did you make a fucking will?" Luffy screamed, shaking Ace more forcefully, nearly making his brother's teeth rattle. His face was a mask of pure unadulterated rage.

Ace's brain came to a stop. He couldn't process the words. Couldn't process the implication. Did not want to. Luffy knew. Luffy knew and he wasn't stupid. He had put the pieces together. Of course. His will. Then it hadn't been Law. It had been Brook. But no matter. Luffy knew. And he was angry, pissed off, furious, raging mad. As was his right.

Ace didn't even have the force to speak, to deny, to ask what Luffy meant by will. Fear choked him, guilt made his blood freeze and he just stood there, legs feeling like jelly, his breathe coming out in short pants. He had moved from anger to panic to fear in just a few minutes and he was just all at sea.

"Answer me!" Luffy roared and Ace flinched. He understood now, why Luffy was angry.

What could he say? He didn't have an answer. Or he had one, but he had spent so long trying to protect Luffy from it. Why now? Why was he insisting? Luffy would be better off not knowing. Was there any straw left to grasp, something to dig him out of this hole?

"And don't you dare lie to me!"

He had to. He had to, there was no other choice. Did Luffy only know about the will? Maybe, maybe Ace could tell him a convincing enough lie. Keep him in the dark a little bit longer.

"I – I just..." the lie wouldn't come out.

Here they were, at a standstill, in a situation Ace had tried his damnedest not to let unfold. He had wanted to protect Luffy from the truth. Had wanted to shield him but now he knew. Not everything. Not much probably. He just knew that Ace had lied again, had hid something from him again and the pain, the raw feeling of betrayal he could glimpse in his little brother's eyes behind the anger was the worst condemnation he could have suffered. Those expressive eyes said it all. Not withholding had gambled here and he had lost.

"I want the truth Ace." Luffy's tone brook no argument.

Ace had lied and lied and lied again and now... Now he was losing the only person he had sworn to protect, the only person he would do anything for. He was losing Luffy. He could see it clear as day.

His brother's grip hadn't slackened, and it was a bit too tight, Ace's shirt painfully digging in his neck and throat.

How had the situation gotten so out of control? Should Ace lie? The idea flew from his mind as Luffy shook him again, his patience wearing thin. He couldn't. Not again. His brother was already slipping from his grasp, one more lie would be too much, if all the others weren't already. But then what? Was he supposed to tell the truth? To tell Luffy that he probably had a lot less than ten years left to live? The prospect was terrifying.

"I – I can't." Ace finally manage to choke and Luffy's expression turned from angry to furious in two seconds flat, teeth clenched in anger, hands shaking badly from a barely contained need to deck his lying brother's face.

"Why?" Luffy roared, advancing and violently pinning him against the wall, Ace's head harshly banging against it. "Why!"

Ace should have had the balls to tell him, in a control setting, but he had not. He had preferred to lie. And now... now he was witnessing everything crumbling down.

"Why don't you trust me!"

His brother was hurting. Because of him. Ace had been foolish. Witnessing Luffy's anger, his need for the truth, it all drove home the fact that of course withholding it had hurt him. Even if Ace hadn't meant to. He had. As a big brother he should have protected Luffy, shielded him from the harsh reality but maybe it hadn't been the right decision. Luffy looking angry and broken, his glare piercing second away from outright killing Ace. It hadn't been the right decision at all. Ace had to come clean. He had to if he wanted Luffy to trust him ever again.

"What are you hiding from me!"

Not much really.

"I need to know!"

Luffy's voice was so raw it hurt Ace's very soul. He was terrified. Of losing Luffy for another lie. Of telling his brother the truth. Neither choice was ideal. But he had to make one.

"I need to know..."

Law's words, unwelcome as always, came back to the forefront of Ace's mind. How Ace was just going to hurt Luffy and how it was his brother's choice to be told the truth.

"Ace dammit!"

Of course, that bastard Law was right. It was Luffy's choice. If he wanted to know, it was his right. It would hurt him, but the alternative was worse.

"I... Luffy I ..." He choked, his eyes already pleading for forgiveness. "Just, you need to know that I – that I didn't want to h-hurt you, 'kay? You have to understand."

Luffy's grip on his shirt slackened as confusion swirled in his eyes. He was about to talk but Ace interrupted him.

"I – I'm sick." The words tumbled out of Ace's mouth in a rush. "I'm really, really sick."

The words were finally out. After so long, Ace had told the truth. The beginning of it but it was something.

Luffy knew.

He was still standing in front of Ace, motionless, his face betraying his turmoil. Anger had fled his features as soon as the words were out, understanding downing on him. His hands still gripped his brother's shirt, next to Ace's throat, and they were shaking badly. Could Luffy feel Ace's erratic pulse? Ace tried to school his features, but he probably didn't do a good job as Luffy's brows furrowed.

"You're ... sick?" Luffy finally asked, his voice small and uncertain, his eyes full of confusion.

"... Yes..." Ace said, choking on the word as if it were glass, tearing his throat and heart apart.

"Sick-sick?" Luffy asked, somehow childishly, his anger seeming to deflate but still visible as his eyebrows were still scrunched up.

"... I guess?" Ace whispered.

Luffy's hands went limp and he released Ace's shirt, biting his bottom lip, eyes full of anguish, anger and pain.

Ace had done it now. He knew that the truth would hurt and that was exactly why he hadn't told him. He didn't want to see this expression on his little brother's face.

Ace took a step forward and gripped Luffy's forearms tightly, but not enough to hurt.

"Luffy, I just ... I'm sorry." He finally said, because he was and because all the apology in the world couldn't make it up to his brother. "I didn't – I didn't want to hurt you... it was the last thing I wanted to do, believe me..."

Luffy gripped Ace's forearms and made him release him, taking a few steps back, bewildered.

"So, you are sick. You made a will. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked forcefully, crossing his arms in front of his chest, his fierce glare freezing Ace on the spot.

"I just wanted to protect you..." Ace argued, guilt swirling in his guts, the same fear of losing Luffy coming forth once again.

"..." His brother stayed silent but took a step back as Ace stepped closer to him.

"Please understand Lu..." He pleaded.

Silence stretched. The older man wanted to backpedal, to rewind the time but it was impossible. There was no going back.

"Since when?" He finally asked as the silence became too much to bear. Ace had not expected that situation at all. He had thought that Luffy would be angry yes but also that he would cry and shout and destroy a few more things. But Luffy radiated cold anger, seriousness, a poise that he never had before.

"Since when?" He repeated as Ace didn't answer, couldn't answer because it would just draw them farther apart.

"Five months or so."

Luffy let out a wounded noise.

"Were you planning on telling me?" He finally exploded, letting his anger and his fear out because whatever Ace was thinking Luffy was afraid. He had never been this afraid in his life, or maybe just once when he had learnt about Sabo's accident.

"I just... I didn't want to burden you." And it came out more as a question that a real statement because Ace was lost in his self-deprecating thoughts, his fears of Luffy abandoning him swirling in his mind, the reasons too many to list them all, but even one of them was enough for Luffy to want out of their brotherhood.

"You're such an asshole! I have to discover on my own that my brother hides things from me? Not once but twice? Who do you take me for? What do you take me for?"

"Lu..." He knew that he deserved Luffy's contempt. He deserved worse.

Luffy's punch didn't come as a surprise and Ace just rolled with it, not dodging even if he had enough time to. He crashed into the wall and slid down the wall like a rag doll, cheek hurting.

"Fight back!"

But he couldn't. He didn't deserve to fight back because he was the one in the wrong.

"Fucking fight back!"

Luffy didn't know what to do. Didn't understand what to make of all of that, the will, Ace's sickness, his lies. It hurt. For so many different reasons, Luffy just couldn't wrap his brain around it all. He just knew that he was in pain and angry and scared as hell. But what could he do? Ace was sick. Luffy couldn't fight against that kind of thing. Why was everything so complicated?

"I'm so fucking sorry Luffy. I'm so, so sorry..." He repeated, and it felt like a mantra, like something he would have to say everyday till he couldn't anymore to make it up to his brother.

"I don't fucking care! Get up and fight me!"

But Ace stayed on the floor, looking at him with pleading eyes and for some reason it just pissed Luffy off even more. Why did Ace look so defeated? Why?

"You lied to me! You didn't trust me! WHY?" He roared and this question meant everything because even if Luffy didn't understand everything he knew that. His brother hadn't trusted him enough to come clean, to tell him what was wrong. To tell him he was sick. What did it even mean, sick-sick?

"I just wanted to protect you..." Ace tried again, pulling his knees to his chest, curling into a tight ball.

"From what? Do you think I need protection? That I am weak? That I can't be here for my brother?"

"I am your big brother, it is my burden!"

"Your burden? Don't fuck with me! Do you think that I would let you down?"

"No, of course not!"

"You wouldn't have lied to Sabo!" He accused, bitterness colouring his tone as he took a few steps in Ace's direction, looking down on him in anger. "But you decided to lie to me!"

The words cut deep because they were true. Only because Sabo would have torn the truth out of him, but they were true. Ace couldn't deny it. He had decided to lie, and it was all blowing up in his face.

Luffy growled low in his throat and cast a withering glare at his brother before turning around, fist clenched tightly, probably trying to keep his cool. Huffing, he took a few steps away, toward the front door and Ace's blood froze in his veins as fear and panic squeezed the breath out of him. No, no, no.

Luffy was leaving.

Luffy was leaving.

All because of Ace. No. No! Ace couldn't let him go. Not like that. Not with the way things were between them. Too raw, full of misunderstandings. Luffy didn't even know the whole truth. Ace had to tell him everything. From the very beginning.

"No Luffy please!" He called out pitifully, rising quickly and making to follow his brother. "Don't leave! Please don't…!" His voice broke on the last word and Luffy stopped.

Luffy turned around as Ace gripped his hand tightly.

"I know… I know that I screwed up and I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for that and you have every right not to but don't leave… let me explain. Please."

"I am not leaving. I'm just angry and I need time to think." Luffy argued, lips pursed, hurt and rage bleeding in his voice.

"Lu..." Ace murmured, relieved but not releasing his brother's hand. "Just...I know I don't have any right to ask that of you but please, please, hear me out. It won't – won't make any difference but I can't let you go now…"

"You want me to listen now?" Luffy asked, thoroughly pissed, trying to shake Ace's grip.

"I… yes." Ace admitted. It was unfair and he had no right to ask such a thing but now that it was all out in the open…

"Well I'm not in the mood right now!"

Luffy shook his hand harder to make Ace let go but his older brother only tightened his grip.

"Don't leave when you're so angry… If… if you want, I can go instead and give you some space…"

"So, you want to run away again?" Luffy seethed, glaring murder having finally given up on freeing himself.

"No! No!" Ace denied hotly, eyes wide, pleading for Luffy to listen and understand. "I don't."

"You can't bear that I don't listen to you, but I have to?"

"I never, I mean…" Ace stuttered, knowing that he was in a corner and that whatever argument he could find would be rendered moot by his own past actions. Of course, Luffy didn't have to listen to him, he didn't even have to try to understand Ace's actions if he didn't want to.

"Let go of me." Luffy ordered and Ace released him quickly, as if he had been burnt, knowing that his touch was unwelcome.

Both brothers stood still for a moment, looking at each other, thinking about what to say, where to go from there, how to fix things or better, how to make them right again. Neither wanted the other out of their lives but Luffy was hurt and Ace guilty of having lied too many times. Above all, they were scared. Scared because Ace didn't want to lose Luffy now, didn't want his brother to hate him. Scared because Luffy didn't know what to do, had never been confronted to such a situation, never been so powerless while feeling betrayed, angry and in pain.

"You wanted to protect me! You didn't want to burden me!" Luffy exploded, pain and anguish making their way on his face as a few tears gathered in his eyes, his anger and rage unable to contain this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. "And for that you lied to me, for months! I knew that something was wrong, I could feel it, but I didn't know what it was! I was on the fucking side line while my brother was suffering! Alone! Because he didn't think that I could handle the truth!"

"Luffy…" Ace said, emotions creeping in his voice as he reached out to Luffy, but his hand was batted away. Luffy wasn't done.

"Do you know what it feels like to hear from someone else that you made a will? To want it to be a lie because otherwise it means something you don't want to be true? Do you know what it feels like?!" Luffy roared as tears fell down his face.

"No, no I don't…" Ace murmured, feeling so guilty for putting his brother through this emotional rollercoaster. "Please don't cry on my behalf... I..." I don't deserve it after everything I've put you through.

"Don't cry?!" Luffy shouted, throwing his arms up in the air in disbelief. "Are you thick and deaf? Don't you get it? Do you think I want to cry? Do you think I wouldn't prefer for you not to be sick?!"

"I – I didn't want you to cry... I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to be in pain, Lu..." Ace cried out, emotions welling up in his voice, making it shake.

"You don't get it!" Luffy growled between gritted teeth. "You don't get that I want to protect you as much as you want to protect me! It goes both ways, okay!"

"But I-"

"I am your family Ace!" He asserted punching Ace's shoulder. "I'd destroy whatever is in our way to protect it. I would, no question asked!"

"Luffy..." Ace choked, emotions clogging his throat.

"But you don't trust me! Of course, you don't! You think I'm your dumb little brother who follows you around and gets hurt, always needing protection. I am not the same! I grew up too!"

"I know... I know..." Ace moaned, reaching out to take Luffy's hand in his own, squeezing it tightly enough to hurt, his brother letting him take it.

"I have to know about what's wrong in your life, otherwise I can't protect you! We are family, okay? And family talks about what's wrong in their life, especially if it's serious!"

Luffy didn't hate him. Not really. He was just stronger than Ace had given him credit for. He had grown up so much in the past few years and Ace hadn't noticed, too blinded by his own life, by his own problems, not noticing that he could lay his head on Luffy's shoulder and cry. He was his little brother, always in need of protection and comfort but here, right now... right now it was Ace who needed it and Luffy who was providing it.

Silence lingered between them as they looked at each other, Luffy's anger slowly ebbing away.

"I am scared and worried and angry enough to want to punch you again, but I also want you to be okay. I want you to talk to me. I need you to talk to me." Luffy said gruffly. He had enough of those lies.

"You're right... You're right and I'm so sorry." Ace apologized once again, feeling unworthy of his little brother. Luffy had been so close to outright murder him and now, he was the one putting some sense into Ace.

"Stop saying you're sorry. Trust me, that's all I ask. That's all I need to protect my family."

"I – yeah, okay. I can do that."

Luffy's head collided with his shoulder and he muttered something which sounded quite like idiot, but Ace wasn't sure. Ace couldn't hold it anymore and tears escaped his eyes. He closed them tightly, trying to prevent them from falling down his face but it was all in vain.

"I should have told you."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Don't hate me..."

"I won't."

"I don't deserve you."

"You do."

Ace threw a watery smile at Luffy who tried to give him one too, despite the fat tears that ran down his cheeks. They both were messes, but they would be okay. Ace desperately hoped that they would be. He needed them to be.

"Come on now, let's sit on the couch and talk before I punch you in the face again." Luffy ordered, pulling Ace behind him.

– L.G –

"Fancy meeting you here…" A male voice drawled right behind Marco, too loud and too boisterous for his current state of mind.

Sighing, the man closed his eyes, not bothering to turn around. He rose his glass to his lips and downed it fast. He would need it for this conversation.

"Thatch." He said as his brother sat on a rickety bar stool next to him. Marco had chosen this bar, small and dimly lit, with very few people, not remarkable in any way to avoid seeing his siblings for the night. Go figure they would find him. He should have known that such a plan wouldn't work, but one could hope.

"Marco." Thatch replied in kind, face and voice free of any judgment at finding him here. He didn't look at him, just straight ahead at the colourful display of bottles on the slightly dusty shelves. "You sure know how to pick them." He made a wide gesture, laughing.

"Well, I chose it to evade my nosy siblings." Marco replied, raising his glass to the bartender, the universal gesture for more alcohol.

"I'll have the same thing." Thatch said, finally turning to face Marco, gaze appraising. "Anyway, that's underestimating the craftiness of said siblings." Thatch smirked.

"I should have left my phone in my fridge…" Marco sighed loudly, nodding at the bartender as he gave him another glass filled with a golden liquid.

"You should have. Haruta's clever. She used an application to locate your phone thanks to its GPS signal. I didn't know it was possible but it sure is useful." Thatch's smirk widened, if it was even possible. He probably thought that it was pretty clever, and that Marco shouldn't have even tried to go off the radar. Admittedly, it was. Haruta was shrewd.

"Hm." Marco nodded, sipping his whiskey slowly.

He knew that opting out of the monthly family dinner would result in something like that. He had guessed that Haruta would be the one to come, not Thatch, but his sister had babbled and here was Thatch. Undoubtedly he was the easier one to deal with so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Haruta might not have taken kindly to seeing Marco on this slippery slope again. Drinking to cope.

Marco had been surprised to get a call from Ace. He had hoped that his tactic had worked, that Ace was calling him so they could talk. It hadn't really gone in that direction, though. Haruta had been next to him the whole time, the volume of his phone loud enough for her to hear everything.

"We told the family you had caught the flu so they wouldn't worry." Thatch said.

Marco nodded, thankful for this small mercy. At least Haruta hadn't babbled too much and he wouldn't see the whole cavalry arriving here.

"Haruta didn't tell anyone but Izo and me so don't be angry at her. She's worried." Thatch was quick to add, seeing the look on his brother's face.

"I'm not angry." He said and it was true. He was just tired.

"... I am not here to judge either, you know?" Thatch said, mouth pulled down. "You're probably thinking that I'm going to lecture you. I'm not Izo though, nor am I Haruta."

Marco was surprised as he expected this conversation to go very differently. He was indeed thinking that Thatch would berate him for seeking refuge in this kind of place, for yet again choosing to run away. He probably deserved a lecture but was thankful not to get one.

"I don't want you to spill your guts, both literally and figuratively. "He added jokingly, though his smile dropped as he went on. "I'm here because I don't want you to be alone and I just want to keep you company."

"Thank you."

Marco was grateful, but he had wanted to be alone. Couldn't they understand his need to be alone right now as Ace had told him clearly that he wanted Marco out of his life? He had fucked it up so bad. He had fucked it up and the man he loved hated him.

"And when you're ready to talk I'll be here to listen and try to give some advice. For now, I'll settle for being your drinking buddy.

He bumped his glass to Marco's and downed the liquid, making a face at the sudden burn.

"God, it's vile." He murmured, not wanting to be overheard by the bartender. "How can you drink that?"

"Motivation." Marco replied, a small smile stretching his lips as Thatch tried to get rid of the taste by sticking his tongue out of his mouth and licking his hand. "You're disgusting."

A glint shone in his eye and Marco just had enough time to pull back as Thatch attempted to rub his hand on his brother's shirt. A loud laugh escaped him at his failed attempt, and he settled back as Marco glared murder at him.

It was nice, having his stupid, boisterous brother with him, joking with him, even if Marco had wanted to be alone. If he was honest, maybe he did want his brother there. It felt good, to know that someone had his back.

"It just burns my mouth and my throat. I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of this taste!" Thatch bemoaned.

"Drink some water and it'll be fine." Marco offered, not feeling charitable at all in the face of his brother's misery. He hadn't been the one to invite him here after all, so it was all Thatch's fault.

His brother scowled and threw him a dark look before ordering some water.

"Ace doesn't want to see me anymore." Marco finally said, as the silence was stretching, surprising even himself.

Thatch started but didn't turn around to look at Marco, nor did he ask more. He kept on looking at the bartender filling a glass of water, letting Marco set the pace.

"I fucked up and he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

Thatch seemed to mull it over and was about to talk when the barman arrived. Thanking him for the blessed glass of water, he finally turned around again, a thoughtful look on his face.

"What did you try to do?" Thatch asked, sipping his water slowly, going for the safe route to avoid Marco clamming up by asking difficult questions.

"I sent him things. Objects, trinkets, memories really, that represented our relationship, us." He murmured, staring at the countertop, noticing carved words into the wood. It was so badly done that Marco couldn't read them, but he passed his finger over it, keeping himself occupied with idle things.

"Was it your idea?" Thatch asked.

"Mostly. Izo told me not to pressure him, not to confront him directly so I thought that it was, you know, my best option."

Thatch nodded, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass, but didn't add anything.

"I thought it would work." Marco said, continuing the conversation on his own. It was weird, that all it took was some nice words and giving him space for him to just start spilling everything. Maybe he really needed someone to talk to.

"But it didn't." Thatch concluded, a mirthless smile stretching his lips.

"No. But you don't seem surprised."

Thatch made a small sound at the back of his throat, between a laugh and a grunt.

"It's not that I'm not surprised. I just think that it might not have been the best choice."

Well, Marco could be pissed off at his brother for phrasing it like that but what could he say? It was the truth, obviously, it hadn't been the best choice.

"Knowing Ace… knowing him, even if we are not really talking anymore these days, stating outright what you wanted would have been better."

"I wanted to but… he didn't have any reason to listen to me back when I confronted him, and he told me the whole truth. And now, he has even less…" Marco sighed, feeling the weight of his decision resting heavily on his shoulders.

He regretted everything so much. But he understood Ace, understood that he didn't want to see him anymore, that he wanted to move on because Marco had hurt him badly. Maybe, maybe they had both been manipulated and maybe Ace hadn't called about being with Kid, but in the end, the choice had been Marco's. it had all been him. Now he had to live with it and its consequences and following Ace's phone call, they seemed even more real. When he had been sending those gifts, he had thought back on those memories on those happy times, regret eating him alive, but he had hope. He had hoped that it would, not mend things necessarily, but pave the way to something, anything.

"Well, I never knew you for one to easily give up." Thatch stated after sometimes.

"I'm not giving up so much as letting him go." Marco argued, not angry just exhausted.

"You don't want to."

"Of course I don't." Marco murmured and his statement was followed by a bitter laugh. "But it's not in my hands anymore."

What else was there to try anyway? Would Ace ever want to see him again? Would he ever simply smile at Marco? It seemed unlikely and it hurt.

"You sent him a lot of them? Gifts." Thatch asked pensively, fingers drumming on the countertop

"… Fifteen." Marco replied, feeling ashamed all of a sudden at not having taken the hint when Ace hadn't replied to any of them. He had thought… anyway, whatever he had believed it hadn't come true.

"… You know…" Thatch began but stopped, gazing at the bar and the people around them, not finishing his thought. "You know, he could have called you earlier. To tell you to stop."

"Yeah well, he might have just waited for me to stop on my own." Marco scoffed.

"I don't think so. I might be wrong of course, but fifteen is a lot."

They lapsed into silence again, listening to the sound of the rain and the hush voices of the other patrons. There really weren't many people here and none seem here to party. Which was fine by Marco as he wasn't in the mood for loud music and even louder chatter. Fifteen was a lot but there were so many explanations for why Ace hadn't called that didn't end in Marco feeling hope. To feel it in his chest, an ember, rekindling slowly, hurt more than anything and he squashed it down.

"You're wrong." He said simply, needing to hear himself saying it. "Ace just doesn't want to see me anymore and I have to accept it." The words tasted like ash and they came out more bitter than he intended. Thatch threw him an unconvinced look but simply hummed.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"For now, wallow and regret being a stupid asshole." Marco replied, going for self-depreciation and irony instead of undiluted sorrow.

"And after that?" Thatch went on, not commenting on Marco's phrasing.

"Nothing Thatch. It is over." He asserted forcefully, drinking the last of his whisky quickly, the liquid burning his tongue and throat, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to hope again. Couldn't afford to hope again. "I ruined everything."

"I don't think you did." Thatch offered, sighing. "There's just some enormous miscommunication going on."

"Miscommunication…" Marco murmured bitterly. "That's one way to put it but even so, we both know the truth now. No miscommunication on this end."

"The truth was that you were both manipulated."

"It doesn't excuse my attitude!" Marco snapped.

It didn't. Guilt and regret were both swirling in his guts, making him sick. He had tried to move on, let hope to drown them, put his feelings in the backseat but it didn't work that way. What he had done to Ace, what he had put his lover through… it was unforgivable. Ace couldn't forgive him, of course he couldn't. Marco should have known.

"It might not but it explains it, at least in part. You should talk face to face. I really think you should."

"He threatened to put a restraining order on me." Marco argued, trying to prove his point. Yet Thatch didn't look surprised just compassionate. He probably already knew, Haruta would have told him.

"You still love him." Thatch stated and it wasn't a question. Both brothers already knew the answer. Marco wouldn't hurt like that if he didn't love Ace. If he didn't want to see him smile again, laugh with him, laugh at him…

"Of course I do." And it came out more wistful that he thought himself capable of. Of course, he loved him. But Ace didn't. Not anymore at least.

"Then you shouldn't give up. I know that it seems simple and that you probably want to roll your eyes for my so-called advice but really. I think he still loves you. He did even without knowing the truth… so now..."

"He did?" Marco asked but didn't really want the answer because it might not be the truth. It might be wishful thinking. Again.

"I think so. Izo probably already told you that but he clearly wasn't over you."

"He hates me now. He has reasons to hate me more than before."

"I don't see it that way. Even if you did react badly, you had a reason to act like that. You didn't just up and left him for someone else."

Low blow. So low… Ace had made him understand that pretending to cast him for someone else had hurt him beyond belief. Of course, it did, Marco knew, and he had aimed at what hurt the most only to regret it from the bottom of his heart now. Regret would get him nowhere though. He had done it.

"You're deluding yourself, Thatch." Marco threw back, exhaustion settling in his bones, the buzz from the alcohol beginning to cloud his mind, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

"No, you are. You love him and he loves you. The gift-thing wasn't a great idea because he's more straightforward than that. You have to talk to him. Apologize to him, directly. Tell him that you are sorry and that you love him and that you'd do anything to get him back. It might work, it might not but at least you'd have tried."

"It'll hurt." Marco simply said, knowing that if he went through this, he would set himself for more heartache. For himself and for Ace. What good would it do to see Marco again if he really wanted nothing to do with him anymore?

"Sometimes, life hurts yeah, but you have to take chances to be happy."

"So much wisdom coming out of your mouth." Marco said, snickering slightly, decidedly feeling the alcohol in his system if he began to actually snicker. "I'll start to think someone replaced you with a more evolved form of life."

Thatch's eyes widened before narrowing in mock anger. He shook his head but only sighed.

"That's mean but I'm used to it, so I'll do as if I hadn't heard anything."

"Whatever makes you happy."

Thatch scoffed but smiled, showing that he wasn't vexed.

"But seriously. Go and talk to him. Take a leap of faith or something, you can't just let go without having done everything in your power."

A leap of faith? Seriously? Could his brother be more… goody-goody? Either way, what he said made sense, but Marco wasn't convinced. Maybe he would try but for now, he would probably go back home and sleep.

– L.G –

12.53 a.m., from Luffy: Torao, what's Atropic Latino Scales?

1.12 a.m., from Luffy: I can't find it on the Internet

1.13 a.m., from Luffy: Do u have scales growing on your skin? Like a snake?

1.13 a.m., from Luffy: It 'be weird

1.16 a.m., from Luffy: But what do I know?

1.45 a.m., from Luffy: Are u still working?

2.07 a.m., from Luffy: I hope I'm not bothering you.

2.09 a.m., from Luffy: It's just that I need to know what it is, this snake scales thing

2.10 a.m., from Luffy: Not that I have it.

2.10 a.m., from Luffy: I'd be cool with scales on my skin though. I could be a superhero.

3.14 a.m., from Luffy: I found it. I typed it wrong the first time

3.16 a.m., from Luffy: Can you call me when you're free?

3.18 a.m., from Luffy: Whenever, I'll let my phone on ring mode.

3.20 a.m., from Luffy: Not that I can sleep anyway

3.21 a.m., from Luffy: Counting sheep doesn't help. Sheep aren't cool enough, and I can't get them to jump over the fence, they just run back.

3.34 a.m., from Luffy: I tried counting meat. I'm hungry now.

4.01 a.m., from Luffy: If I lied to you about something big and you found out, what would you do?

Not that I did. Hypotically.

4.02 a.m., from Luffy: *Hypothicly

4.03 a.m., from Luffy: *Hypotheticly

4.03 a.m., from Luffy: Whatever. So?

4.11 a.m., from Luffy: Cause I don't know.

4.23 a.m., from Luffy: Law, would you tell me if you were sick? Not like the flu, but you know, sick.

4.24 a.m., from Luffy: I would like you to. Not that you are or anything.

4.26 a.m., from Luffy: I was just wondering. No need to worry.

4.27 a.m., from Luffy: Anyway, I should stop bothering you. You're probably already freaking out. Sorry. Everything's fine though, I swear. I just couldn't sleep.

4.29 a.m., from Luffy: But call me.

4.30 a.m., from Luffy: Okay, goodnight. Or morning, because you probably haven't slept yet. Love you.

TBC !

I hope you liked it ! :D

Reply to Visitor n°18: I'm sorry I often forget to reply to your comments because I can't PM you, i'm so sorry! But I read your reviews and I greatly enjoy them. I'm really thankful for the last and I'm really touched ! I never experienced something like "winning someone back" I am just trying to portray it as accurately as possible and I'm glad you think it's done well. It's really a huge compliment ! I hope you liked the "how Ace explained himself" part ! Thank you so much for reviewing ! :D :D Thanks for pointing out the gramatical and spellings mistakes, I didn't have a beta last chapter, this one should be better ^^

Reply to Ceph: Thanks a lot for reviewing and I'm glad I got you hooked up on it even if I don't update often enough ^^ Definitely a as-happy-as-possible ending planned !