To my prospective readers, hear ye!

If you are new, know that everything below this point is an 'old' version of this story. The updated version (hereafter referred to as 'the new hotness') can be read from its beginning starting in chapter 30. I only keep the original chapters around because there's no way for me to archive them without deleting them, and I have enough followers on this story to warrant posting the new version here rather than starting over in a new story file.

I know that the reboot is a thing that goes on here when an author (mediocre or otherwise) decides to retry a slightly less bad version of their idea, and I hope that you won't think down on this original version because of it. You'll likely still find it quite enjoyable and, at the least, quite legible.

In any case, whether you're reading the old version or the new, enjoy!

Written by myself (Jason - /u/theinvaderzim on reddit) and SirKyleLenn (/u/sirkylelenn on reddit). Inspired by an AU by Skleero.

Tumblr with art, updates, comment responses and more can be found at: therussohousehold(dottumblr)dotcom. Sorry for the crappy URL. This website doesn't like links.

Echo Creek was the very essence of a normal California town. Sitting on the outskirts of Los Angeles, there were no outlying demographics, no interesting sporting events, no fun games to play or people to see.

Within Echo Creek Academy, though, a certain student couldn't stand that normalcy. The resident troublemaker, self-proclaimed mystic and occasional flirt, Janna hated that her town was so normal. No mystic portals to other worlds, or demon witches selling potions in alleyways, or even some light gang violence? What a ripoff! And so, she found herself in the back alley of her school, making her best attempt at ripping through that reality. From where she was standing, though, that dream was a pretty long ways off.

"Come on Horatio, don't screw me on this!" Janna hissed into her phone. "I need those supplies or I'm literally going to go insane from boredom!"

"Sorry, Janna!" The muffled voice over the phone replied. "Contacts fell through, and Jesky got stuck on the border." There was a brief, heavy sigh. "Again. That tiger blood is gonna have to wait until next week."

With a click, the line went dead. Janna was left staring at her phone, clearly irritated. "How am I supposed to summon an eldritch horror without any tiger blood? What kind of name is Horatio, anyways..." She growled at the blank screen. Echo Creek had been boring for as long as she'd known it. Which had been… well, forever, by her counting. She'd lived in the little hub for her entire life. And despite her best efforts, every attempt to summon demons, dragons or eldritch horrors failed. She couldn't even count the number of faulty incantations she'd invested herself into. She'd probably sold her soul to the devil ten times over, by now.

Lifting her arm as if to chuck the phone in frustration, Janna was distracted by a tearing noise and what sounded suspiciously like the screams of the condemned, two sounds definitely out of place in the otherwise still alleyway. The lid on the dumpster next to her suddenly fell shut as something landed inside.

"What the…?" Janna asked herself, her curiosity piqued. Sure it was unlikely, but maybe this day wasn't a total loss after all. She hated rooting through dumpsters for supplies, and her skirt and sweater weren't particularly well-suited to the task. But when life gave you lemons…

Opening the lid and peeking inside, Janna gagged at the stench. The cafeteria's food didn't smell the best under normal circumstances. Being left in a garbage can for a week and a half hadn't done it any favors. Sitting atop a trash bag, however, was something that couldn't have belonged there. A big, bound tome, with mysterious symbols etched across the cover. It looked like a magic book - Janna had tried to get her hands on dozens - and now here one was, practically landing in her lap.

"Well hello there, beautiful." Janna muttered. Putting her hands around the tome, she attempted to drag it out of the dumpster with a strained grunt. She succeeded, barely, the book landing on the ground in front of her as she fell back into the dirt.

"Heavy… cool!" The would-be sorceress's eyes sparkled as she pulled the book open. Inside was a collection of sprawling notes and scribbled remarks that nonetheless could only be constituted as a series of notes on spells, incantations and their effects.

Janna grinned. Maybe Echo Creek wasn't as dull as it seemed. She had no idea how this book had suddenly appeared for her, but she was prepared to abuse it to her fullest potential.

"But first…" she cast her eyes at the filthy dumpster, quickly deciding that she didn't want to be casting her first set of spells in the smelly back-alley of her academy. She couldn't imagine that it was particularly conductive to any magical energy, either. Once again, she placed her hands on the heavy tome, resolved to drag the book into the school.

With a huff and a puff, Janna slowly dragged the book through the halls of Echo Creek. Luckily, class was in session - no pesky students to get in the way, or try and pester her about why she was carrying the old thing. The teachers were all in class, too, meaning that all she had to worry about was…

A sense of prickling annoyance overcame her when she heard some whistled theme music from around the corner. There were only two options: either by coincidence, some other student was out of class and happened to be whistling the theme to George Bomb, or she was about to run into the hall monitor.

Sure enough, Marco Diaz, resident safe-kid and this week's hall monitor slid around the corner, back to the lockers, eyes shifting left and right and urgently speaking into an imaginary wristwatch. "Hallway two-seven clear, advancing to two-eight." A sash embroidered with "hall monitor" adorned his normal red hoodie.

"Hey Diaz!" Janna called from the other end of the hall. Marco was a dork. It made her smile a little bit to see him, for some reason.

"Aaaah! Intruder!" Marco nearly jumped out of his shoes when Janna called to him, even going so far as to aim a finger gun at her before coming to his senses. His face flushed red with embarrassment. "I mean, Janna! What are you doing out of class?"

"Never mind that, Secret Agent Diaz." Janna smirked as he approached her. "Don't suppose you could help me move this thing?" She pointed to the spellbook.

"Uh… what is it?" Marco asked, apprehensively. Knowing her, it was probably some kind of voodoo-vampire-magic-zombie book.

Janna shrugged. "Dunno, found it in a dumpster."

"So that's what that smell was..." Marco took a step back and cleared his throat. "Well, Janna, I hate to do this, but you know the rules. I'm gonna have to take you to Miss Skullnick. Come with me."

"Marco, if I get another report, I'm gonna get detention." Janna explained shortly. Shifting her tone to something softer, she continued: "I'm sure we can… work something out." She slid up next to him.

"No." Marco set a finger on her forehead and pushed her back. "I'm sorry Janna, but rules are rules! And without rules, there's only anarchy. And you wouldn't want that, would you?"

"..."

The two stared at each other for a moment before Janna broke the silence. "So was that sarcastic, or…"

"Sorry. Anyways, come with me." Marco took hold of her arm.

"Well, I hate to do this Marco, but…" Sliding out of his grip, Janna reached into her sweater pocket and withdrew a well-thumbed notebook and flipped to a page. "Three weeks ago, you were doing that weird nod thing to Jackie, and some guy bumped into you and knocked you over. For some reason, this bothered you, and you grabbed me to distract Jackie to give you time to recompose yourself."

"Ugh… where are you going with this?" Marco asked as he shifted his weight.

"You said, and I quote, 'I owe you one.'" Janna smiled mischievously. Marco was always good on his word. "So how about instead of taking me to detention, you help me haul this book to the band room?" She finally asked with a smug grin.

"Janna you can't just call in a favor every time you get in trouble." Marco puffed out his chest, preparing to give a lecture. "Just because you can get away with breaking the rules, doesn't mean you should. And if you don't take responsibility for your actions, then someday they're just gonna catch up to you, and-"

"So are you just gonna stand there making noise all day or are you gonna help?" Janna interrupted, already starting to pull the book.

"I wasn't - !" Marco groaned. "I'm the hall monitor! It's a betrayal of trust! I might get caught, and then I'll get detention!"

Janna stood there, smirking at him. She knew he wouldn't go back on his word. He was too "good" for that.

Marco sighed in defeat. "Fine. Just... go back to class after we're done, okay?"

"No promises." Janna muttered as they took up the book together.

"Anyway, the band room might be locked, so-" Marco paused. "Wait what?"

"What? I didn't say anything." Janna said sheepishly.

"No, you definitely said something."

"So the band room might be locked?" Janna changed the subject quickly. "Why's that, I was just in there a couple days ago."

"Well, maybe if you'd shown up to the assembly last week you would know." Marco told her matter-of-factly. "They're renovating the old band room for next year. They don't want anybody messing with the new equipment."

"Aaand, being the hall monitor, you have the key, right?" She asked while putting her arm around his shoulder, tapping the set of keys around his neck. "And having the key, you'll help me get in, right?"

"Nope. Nuh-uh." Marco immediately declined, gently pushing her off him. "No way, that would be a severe misuse of my privileges, and I'm not gonna soil my good reputation by breaking you into that room."

"But Marco, you owe me, remember?" She tried.

"Janna, it's bad enough that I'm letting you get away with this and not taking you to detention." Marco said sternly. "It's even worse that I'm helping you drag this… thing… to the band room. I'm already risking my sash, and this book stinks! There is no way you're gonna guilt me into helping you out any further than that."

"Well, I guess there's no fooling you Marco, you're just too smart for me." She told him, subtly putting away the key she pilfered from around his neck. "I guess I'll just have to wait until it's open."

Walking over to the band room door, Janna inserted the key and twisted. The door opened with a click and a grumble of unoiled hinges. "Oh, look, it's open," she deadpanned.

"What the - how did you -" Marco did a quick pat-down of himself and found that the key ring was now short a key. "Janna!" He said crossly. "Don't do that!"

"Whatever, safe kid." Janna pushed the key back into him and once again invaded his personal space. "You didn't help me, I did it myself. Now help me get it in there."

"I feel so… violated." Marco shivered. Still mumbling, he stepped to the other side of the book and helped Janna push it, end over end, into the band room. The door swung shut behind them.

Clicking on the lights, they saw that the band room itself was partially destroyed - most of the carpet had been stripped, the roof was missing its foam tiles, and the few remaining music supplies were all pushed into the corner. Chairs, stands and random lockers were strewn about in a mess of epic proportions.

"Finally, all alone with you…" Janna said, mischievously. Marco stared out the door's narrow window to the hall before he processed what she meant.

"What?" He turned towards the goth girl.

"Was talking to the book." She explained as she began flipping through the pages. "Watch the door and be quiet, wouldya?"

Marco, for his part, was beginning to break down. The sash on his chest was a lie and caught his eye every time he looked down.

"I'm a disgrace," he moaned. "I've betrayed the trust bestowed upon the hall monitor! This sash shouldn't belong to me…"

Janna spared him a glance, unimpressed. "So? Why do you want to be hall monitor, anyways?"

"You mean you want to sit in Skullnick's class all day?" Marco asked her.

This froze the girl for a moment, the response so stereotypically not Marco that it came as a bit of a shock. And then she was over it. "Whatever. Still just a stupid sash."

"Janna…" Marco sighed, exasperated, as he walked over to the book.

"Ooh, this looks interesting." Janna pointed out a part of the page. "Spew forth the undead, shroud the world in eternal darkness…" she chuckled. "Cool."

"You can read that?" Marco asked, peering over her shoulder. "It looks like gibberish to me."

Janna shrugged. "Get your eyes checked, dude, it's pretty plain."

"Let's see… says here there's just some hand symbols…" she performed the signs quickly to practice.

"The pain of a mortal being…" standing up, she looked Marco in the eye before kicking him in the shin.

Over his howls of pain as he hopped around the room, she finished the spell. "And an incantation… Corpus levitas, diablo dominium, mondo vicium!"

The words echoed around the room, unnaturally rebounding off the walls at a volume much higher than what Janna had expected to hear. Even Marco stopped hopping to take a listen.

Nothing happened.

"Well that remodel sure is helping the acoustics…" Janna quipped. "Still, that's a bummer. Was hoping this would work."

Marco walked over, unimpressed. "You were hoping to raise the -"

Outside, a scream resounded in the halls, silencing them both as Marco scurried to the door. "Someone's in danger out there," he said. "And if they get hurt on my watch it's your fault, Janna!" He pointed a finger accusingly. "I'm going out there to -"

There was another scream, and then a third, and a series of low groans. "What the….." pressing his face against the glass, the question was soon answered. With a loud series of moans, a clump of zombies had soon pressed up against the door, which creaked in frustration. Adorned by glowing yellow eyes and rotted green flesh, some of them were missing skin, teeth, or even pieces of skull, the pink flesh of their decaying grey matter poking out from beneath disheveled, once-fashionable hairstyles.

"Zah - zom- zomb -" Marco stammered, backing up in shock. Janna's eyes were wide, an excited expression creeping across her face as she realized what she'd done.

"This is so cool." Janna murmured in disbelief as she approached the door.

"ZOMBIES!" Marco screeched. In a flurry of limbs, he was throwing things against the door in an effort to barricade it. Janna was still standing in front of it like in a scene out of a horror movie, eyes transfixed.

With a crack, the door finally gave into the strain, the weight of over a dozen undead trying to find their way in more than enough to bend it out of shape. Marco's barricade was barely high enough to trip the first few as it was pushed out of the way. With a clatter, the first zombie fell into the room, only a few inches from Janna's exposed legs.

"HYYYYYEAH!" With a low kick from Marco, the zombie's freshly-decapitated head went flying across the room like a soccer ball. Quick to scare, he was just as quick to jump into his training.

Janna blinked out of her daze. "Woah."

Marco was doing his best to defend the newly-discovered sorceress, but even a green belt in karate wasn't much of a match for a horde of the undead.

"Janna!" He called. "We have to go!"

"Right!" running over to the book, she managed to flip it closed before Marco cried out.

"Leave it!" He snatched her arm and pulled her to the opposite exit.

"What if there's a counterspell?!" Janna protested.

"We'll come back for it!"

"How?!"

"Later!"

Out the door and through the school, the pair ran past their now-zombified classmates. There was no telling if the zombies had already reached the rest of the school - heck, maybe they'd infested all of Echo Creek. Janna's mouth was continually agape as they sprinted, looking at what her spell had caused. There was a tearing noise as one of Marco's sleeves caught on a broken window, more zombified classmates falling out behind him as he tore himself free.

Finally, a well-placed karate chop from the boy freed a path to an unattended ladder, and they scurried onto the roof of the school for a breath.

"Really Janna?" Marco managed between gasps. "You raised the dead?!"

"It's okay, I can fix it!" Janna exclaimed. Maybe it was the excitement of what they'd been doing, but she was barely winded. "If I can get back to the book I'm sure I can find a counterspell, and-"

"No." Marco stopped her. "First, we should go find any survivors that might be left. I'm not letting anyone else get hurt on my watch."

"Marco, you're a hall monitor, not a sheriff." Janna reasoned. "Anyway, you're hurt, we gotta get you fixed up first."

With a wince and hiss from Marco, she grabbed his arm and inspected the wound. It was a long cut starting from his shoulder down to the middle of his upper arm. A thin slice through his hoodie and shirt, like he'd grazed some broken glass.

"I'm fine," Marco snapped, jerking his arm away. "It's not that deep."

Withdrawing distinctive red box from the pocket of his hoodie, he opened it to reveal first aid supplies. "Hall monitor." He explained to Janna's surprised look. "Always prepared."

"And here I thought you just carried that stuff with you all the time," Janna joked.

With another hiss, Marco splashed disinfectant on the wound before beginning to wrap his bandage around it, sweater and all. He shot her a glare.

"Sorry…" she muttered. Not for raising the dead, but the burn was a little unnecessary. It was a good burn though, she smirked to herself. Marco wasn't a fan of his "safe-kid" reputation.

Marco started back towards the ladder, stopping only when he saw the mass that had assembled below them. Some of the zombies were old and decayed - rotting skin, bony fingers and patches of hair covering their heads. Others, though, were the students and staff. Seemingly unchanged except for green skin, glowing eyes, some fresh bite marks and a new predilection towards brains, they were as mindless as their rotting counterparts.

Marco sighed. The ladder was laying on its side, at the feet of the crowd. There probably wasn't much hope for survivors. As much as he hated to admit it, Janna's plan might've been the better one. "Well, I'm open to ideas."

"Hmm…" Janna wandered off, towards the back of the school, Marco in tow. "This is where I found the book," she mused, bringing them above the alley where the incident had begun. "Maybe there's another clue there."

"I guess it's better than nothing." Marco shrugged. The alleyway was, thankfully, still zombie-free. So after casting another careful glance around, he lowered himself down.

With a brief cry, Marco lost his grip and hit the top of the dumpster with a thud. Janna fell after him, landing on top of him and knocking the air out of his lungs with a sharp gasp. Stepping down into the alley, she paused when she heard voices.

"What was that?" A girl whispered.

"I donno, I hope it's not a zombie!" A second replied.

"Ferguson, go check, please!" The first pleaded.

"Nuh - uh, these folds are a three-course dinner for those guys! I'm stayin' right here. Maybe it'll pass us by." A third voice, this one a boy's, replied at room-volume.

With another sharp gasp, Marco refilled his lungs and fell off the dumpster with a thump. "Ferguson?" He asked, breathless.

"Marco?!" Ferguson flipped the top of the dumpster open and scrambled out, his significant mass acting as a bit of a deterrent to his efforts. Short and pudgy weren't exactly the best qualities to have when it came to zombie survival. Behind him were two very shell-shocked cheerleaders.

"Ferguson!" Marco cried, happy that his friend hadn't been zombified. Going in for a hug, he stopped short and held his nose. "You're alive! And…. agh, you stink!"

Ferguson held up an arm and sniffed. "Yeah. Ew. Good to see you too, Marco. Want to hide in the dumpster with us?"

Janna, pinching her own nose as well, lifted the second lid and poked her head inside. "Looking for clues." She explained. "I found a magic book here this morning. Kinda how this all started. Have you seen anything… magic in here?"

"Besides my personality?" Ferguson popped an eyebrow.

"You smell like garbage," Marco returned.

"Looks like we're gonna have to go back for it, Janna." He continued, turning to her.

"Yeah, okay." Janna sighed, withdrawing from the dumpster. "But the band room will be swarming with zombies! Heh… that's so cool." She muttered.

"So… me and Ferg will act as decoys. You sneak in, grab the book, find a counterspell before we get eaten, and we all go home happy!"

"Woah, no no no." Ferguson made an X with his arms. "I appreciate it, but, uh… if I leave, who will be here to protect these girls?" He gestured towards the dumpster.

"C'mon Ferguson, don't you want to play the hero? I bet those girls will be soo impressed." Janna said. She made an attempt to slide towards him, but stopped at the stench. Once again holding her nose, she asked - "right, girls?"

"Go get 'em, Ferguson!" The first one cried.

"Yeah, we'll be fine!" The other added.

Ferguson sighed. Back down and look like a coward in front of the ladies, or run towards near-certain death? "Fine," he brushed past Marco and looked back. "But for the record?" He whispered. "Not cool, dude."

Marco shrugged sympathetically. "Sorry Ferg. Next time you can stay in the dumpster."

Walking back towards the band room, the dumpster lid slammed shut behind the trio. It wasn't long before they could once again hear the moans of the undead. The rest of Echo Creek was an eerie quiet. There was no traffic in the distance, or even sirens.

"I wonder how far this is spreading…?" Marco asked quietly.

"There's the band room," Janna pointed out. The trio crouched down behind a bench, carefully eying their now zombified classmates as they shambled around the school.

"Ok, like we planned." Marco whispered. "Me and Ferg will create a distraction. Janna, you get to the band room and find that counterspell."

"Got it." Janna nodded. To her left, Ferguson looked more than a little nervous.

"Uhm, guys? I really don't know about this…" he muttered.

Marco peeked over the bench again. "Alright, I think we can make it down the hall. Go!"

Grabbing his friend's shoulder, Marco and Ferguson made a beeline for the other end of the hall while Janna watched. "Hey zombies!" Marco shouted. "You hungry? How about you come over here and have a taste!" Vaulting off of a planter, he planted a high-jump kick into the skull of one of the undead. "Hyyeah!"

As the two boys made their way down the hall, the zombies immediately began to follow. Streaming out of classrooms and side hallways, there had to be dozens, if not hundreds. Behind the horde, though, Janna slowly began her creep towards the band room.

"Yah!" Marco chopped down another zombie, sending it careening into a pile of its friends. Luckily, the actual undead were outnumbering Marco's classmates by a significant amount. He would've hated to have had to use force to stop too many of his friends.

"I can't do this!" Ferguson cried out from where he'd been cowering behind Marco. "I'm too young to die! I don't want to be eaten!"

Breaking into a sprint, he made it almost ten feet from Marco before he was overcome. "No, don't touch! Ow! Br.. Braa.. Braaaains…."

Just like that, his skin was green and his eyes were glowing. "Ferguson!" Marco shouted in panic. In front of him, the horde was mounting, and he planted a roundhouse kick into another zombie. "Back off!"

Now in the deserted band room, Janna was frantically flipping through the spellbook, looking for a counterspell. "Cure, cure, cure!" She muttered to herself.

Outside, Marco gave a scream.

Another minute and the zombies were starting to come back, quickly piling up against the crude barricade she'd constructed over the broken doorway.

"Where's the friggin counterspell?!" Janna panicked. Desperately tearing through the pages, Marco and Ferguson were at the door now as well, slamming into the barricade as it gave way. They spilled into the room.

Sitting back in hopeless defeat, Janna could only stare. The zombies were definitely not as cool from this perspective. She didn't cry or scream, her mind instead filled with the cold knowledge that there was nothing more she could do. "I'm sorry…" she whispered.

As if that were the password, the book took on a mind of its own. Spinning into the air, there was a blast of light that knocked the undead back into a circle around Janna. Setting itself down in front of her, the cover opened, revealing pages that Janna hadn't seen.

"Counterspell!" Her eyes wide, Janna frantically read the incantation. The circle was just wide enough to buy her the time. A new set of hand symbols, and the pain of a mortal… well, looking around, that was definitely covered, and the incantation: "Muiciv odnom, muinimod olbaid, sativel suproc!"

Nothing happened.

The zombies on the edge of the clearing stepped up, slowly encircling Janna as she squeezed her eyes shut, encroaching on the space, hands reaching out to grab her…

Then, a sudden breeze, like a fresh spring day had somehow gotten lost among all the rotting flesh. Janna felt the hair on her head sweep out of her eyes, and a sweet, flowery smell touched her nose. The world gave a great sigh, like it had been relieved of a heavy burden.

Then a hand touched her arm.

"Get AWAY!" It was the first time Janna had been genuinely afraid in a long time. Pushing the hand off and nearly falling over, she was stopped by another two on her shoulders. "NO!"

"Janna!" A familiar voice accompanied the hands shaking her shoulders, rolling her head like an awkward doll's.

"Marco…?" Janna opened her eyes. The band room was crowded full of her fellow students, obviously confused, the original zombies having fallen to ash at their feet. She turned around to see Marco, a small smile on his face, looking at her in concern.

"You did it." He said.

She collapsed into his arms and allowed herself a sob. Just the one. Then she pushed back. Keep your cool, she told herself. Don't let everyone see you like this.

Marco still had a light smile on his face. Janna couldn't help but be relieved. She sniffled and checked her eyes for tears, but made sure her voice was back to its normal tone before replying. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Same." Marco nodded. "So, want to burn that?" He gestured towards the book.

Janna barely suppressed a snort. "Burn it?" She asked amusedly. "Yeah right, I'm taking this bad boy home with me. And I think I know exactly what I want to do with it."

Marco opened his mouth, likely to give a lecture on the dozens of reasons why that was a bad idea, but was stopped. All 400 pounds of their enormous teacher, Miss Skullnick, stepped to the front of the crowd. "Would one of you care to tell me," she began, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF MILLARD FILMORE JUST HAPPENED?"

Hoping for any way out, Marco looked toward Janna. Only she wasn't there. 'Fantastic.' He thought. 'She ditched me.'

Your reviews, follows and faves help us keep writing more than you'd ever suspect. Getting a notification that someone enjoyed our story enough to follow us means the world, and I get emails sometimes weeks or even a month or more after uploading. That feels good. We appreciate it. We want to hear your thoughts. Thanks.

Next time on Janna Vs The Forces Of Evil: After getting frustrated with her homework, Janna decides to crack the spellbook open again, summoning a knowledge demon that infects… the entire internet? Tune in next week for the next episode: Night of the Living Homework!

(Chapter revised - 12/18/17)