So You Want To Be A Superhero

By Clark Kent

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Preface

After my beloved wife wrote and published the booklet "So You're Dating A Superhero", I realized that there is no real literary help for those who would be Superheroes themselves.

I am therefore following Mystique's example and have created this booklet to give newcomers a brief overview as to what being a Superhero actually entails, hopefully dispelling some of the myths and misconceptions surrounding the act of donning the cape.

So, here it is.

Welcome to "So You Want To Be A Superhero".

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Introduction

Many people have recently developed a desire to become a Superhero after seeing Super-teams in action. This desire has only increased after the resolution of the recent multiple crises which were resolved in a manner which no-one predicted, creating many new opportunities for those capable of planning ahead.

Being a Superhero is not as easy as people may think, though. There is more to it than pulling on Spandex, choosing an icon and flying out to fight crime.

The path of a Superhero is a hard one, filled with many pitfalls for the unwary, the naïve and the careless. Simple bravery is not enough to forge a career as a Hero, possessing a power is not a guarantee that you can don the cape. To become a Hero takes time, dedication and the understanding that by becoming a Hero, you are placing yourself between the innocent and that which seeks to harm them. You are effectively turning yourself into their shield and sometimes, shields break.

It is a sad fact that being a Superhero is one of more dangerous careers there is. A Superhero is expected to stride into danger to rescue others, to stand against tyrants, invaders and the beserk, to remain in control irrespective of the situation and if required, to give up their life so that others may live. From a statistical viewpoint, it is estimated that less than one in four Superheroes will last over a decade without spending at least six months in hospital. Less than half of those who choose to follow the path of the Superhero will make it to retirement age without a career-ending injury and of those, one in eight will be either dead or permanently crippled.

Even those who survive long enough to retire will not do so in full health. At the very least, they will retire with limited mobility or multiple scars despite the best that the med-pods can do.

In order to become (and survive being) a Superhero, there is much you need to consider before taking that path.

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The first issue is actual ability. Courage and determination, while admirable, do not make up for the lack of actual physical ability. At the very least, a Superhero is expected to be able to pull an adult out of a fire, rescue a drowning swimmer and hold their own against street thugs.

Incidentally, True Heroes can do that and more without using powers. Any Superhero worth the title seeks to aid these worthy people whenever possible. The officers of the Law, Paramedics and other medical staff, Firefighters, Coastguards, Rangers and others who work daily to ensure that everyone is safe and sound deserve all the respect we can give them. They have no powers, yet they fight for the innocent as hard as any Superhero and I am proud (and honored) to have been asked to stand by their side.

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The second issue is legal knowledge. While comics may show heroes bursting through the walls to engage plotting criminals in fist-to-fist combat, it rarely works that way. Superheroes must not only uphold the law, they must make sure that they obey the law too. Superheroes are seen by most as role models and so we must be cautious about the paths we take, lest others follow and come to harm as a result. Sometimes, the threat isn't expected and leads to odd consequences. Replica Superman Capes have to have "Does not bestow the ability to fly" on the packaging due to a couple of incidents that could have been very unfortunate had a Kryptonian and a Speedster respectively not been nearby.

A basic understanding of the Law is required for any who seek to become a Superhero and advanced courses covering the Laws of all the planets/realms of the Sol System are available. Personal Morality may help, but occasionally you may on occasion find your personal beliefs conflict with the laws of the country you find yourself in. One notable example occurred when the notoriously short-tempered Saudi-Arabian Metahuman Law-enforcement agent Mutawiyin pursued a Portal-using thief into a private nudist beach in California. Only the fast intervention of a pair of holidaying heroes (one of whom had illusion powers) prevented an international incident and since then, Mutawiyin has been officially prohibited by the King of Saudi Arabia from leaving his homeland for anything less than an Omega-class emergency.

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The third issue is the reason for becoming a hero. For me, it was the desire to uphold the legacy of my people whom I believed to be extinct at the time (Yes, I know, twelve million plus is not extinct). My heritage had granted me powers and my upbringing had taught me morality, so I donned a formal uniform of the House of El and did my best to help others however I could. In quite a few cases, it was as a teacher, both at the Xavier Academy and at Bayville School.

Spider-man lost a member of his family to a criminal. The man in question had just robbed a fight promoter who had used small-print to deny Peter the $30,000 that he had won in a no-holds-barred cage-fight in which Peter had to last for 3 minutes, but KO'd the opposing wrestler at 2 minutes and fifty seconds. Since Peter was irritated at the promoter's greed, he let the criminal escape as the promoter watched. However, the criminal then hijacked his uncle's car, killing his uncle in the process. Since that day, Peter has been fighting crime so that no-one else would suffer from a similar bereavement.

Otto Octavius became a hero because he had carefully considered the recent changes and concluded that remaining on the side of villainy was something that was no longer viable in the long term. He remains rather quiet on how he persuaded the rest of the-then Sinister Six to go along with it, or how he managed to contact the philanthropic billionare Wilson Fisk for sponsership, but he and his team were vital in resolving the Sentinel threat which killed many thousands of people before it was stopped.

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These three issues are the most basic ones that face any would-be Superhero and require considerable thought. If you insist on continuing, though, then the rest of this pamphlet will help you forge a true career that will not see you killed or permanently crippled in your first week.