That's a Thing, a rwby fanfic

I tried something like this recently, and I had a lot of fun writing it so I'm doing it again. This story is entirely comprised of dialogue. It's up to you to infer and deduce what is actually happening, and which of the two characters is talking.

And there's a bit of OOCness. But fuck it, who cares when it's for humor?

That's a Thing

"Well…that's a thing."

"You sure about that? Because the word I would use is not 'thing.'"

"Then what would you use?"

"'Colossal travesty."

"That would be two words."

"This can't be summed up in a single word. No word expresses that much emotion."

"Wait, you called me a travesty? Doesn't that mean something like 'disaster?'"

"…"

"I'll have you know, I am no disaster. That was the best damn night of your life."

"Are you saying you wanted this to happen?"

"Well…"

"Exactly. Why don't we just pretend this didn't happen?"

"Maybe we—"

"Was that the door?"

"It sounded like it."

"I suppose that's what we get for living in dorms."

"That sounded like Ruby screaming."

"I doubt she wanted to see her sister with another guy."

"I'll have you know we'd look great together."

"I'll refrain from answering that. I believe she screamed due to the fact that we're laying on your bed wearing nothing."

"I…guess you would be right there."

"But we should fix this situation before it gets worse."

"I don't plan on forgetting this. Especially the part of the night before we ended up in my bed."

"…Don't remind me."

"Oh, come on! That was the best!"

"It ranks up there with parts of my life I plan on rethinking."

"Why?"

"So I can figure out what the appeal of jumping on the table and screaming that was."

"The appeal was that it got you in bed with someone."

"No normal person would bed me if I said that."

"Good thing we were drunk!"

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Aw, you know you loved it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Liar."

"Anyway! We should probably find our clothes."

"Fair point."

"…"

"Is my shirt hanging on the tree out there?"

"So it seems."

"Why is my shirt on a tree outside your dorm room?"

"You're telling me you don't remember the adventurous frivolities of last night?"

"I don't think I want to."

"Then I'm sure you don't care about the bullet holes in it."

"…"

"You're damn right you heard me correctly."

"What the hell were we doing?"

"Partying?"

"Coming from anyone else, I wouldn't believe that."

"Good thing for aura, otherwise I'd have been taking you to a hospital and not bed."

"Oh, the happy miracles of life."

"Oh, you know it."

"If my shirt is out there, where are the rest of my things?"

"No idea. Wait! Your pants should be on the roof."

"…"

"Wanna know why?"

"No."

"Come on! Yes, you do!"

"No."

"Aw."

"Stop pouting."

"Why?"

"…"

"Are you blushing?"

"Of course not."

"I knew you thought I was attractive!"

"What gave it away? The fact that we are in bed together and I still have an arm around you?"

"…Huh. Your arm is around me."

"Yes it is."

"That's a thing."

"Really? That's a thing? How about the fact that I have bullet holes in my shirt?"

"Nah, that's typical hunter life."

"You do have a point there."

"Wait…where are my clothes?"

"You don't remember?"

"I…actually don't think I do."

"I'll give you a hint."

"You remember?"

"The bridge."

"…"

"Oh, fuck no."

"Yeah, that was you."

"I liked that bra!"

"You could go get it."

"Nope! I'm not going near there any time soon!"

"But don't you want to see your handiwork?"

"Not this time."

"I think that's where the rest of your clothes are too."

"Damn."

"Thankfully it was at night. We can hope no cameras caught us."

"What if they did?"

"Then we'll most certainly be on the news."

"Too much reality for this early in the morning."

"It's got to be at least noon—"

"Nope!"

"W-what are you doing!"

"Round two! Shhhh."

"I didn't agree—"

"I'm getting the vibe that you did."

"…"

"I need my clothes after this."

Author Notes: I'm a weirdass guy. Hope you enjoyed it!

This is not the fic I teased at the end of one of my other RWBY fics.