Poet
17.

Every night, she can hear their screams.

A soldier watches the door. Occasionally glances inside the barracks to make sure the recruits have stayed in bed. Experienced at avoiding their watch, the girl sneaks over towards the window, and silently climbs through. The wind bites at her cheeks, and she shudders. The drop is huge; fatal. Yet, it isn't the fall which terrifies her. Carefully, she jumps up to the window ledge above. Grabs on, and hoists herself up.

Effortlessly, she steps into the room. Her feet move quietly across the floorboard, and she goes unspotted. The girl watches two soldiers outside of the barracks, talking to each other in hushed whispers. They don't notice anything unusual, and she nabs this opportunity. By now, she knows where the other girl sleeps, knows she'll still be awake at this hour. Sometimes, they dream about the exact kind of thing; identical trauma which keeps them conscious; wide awake, for days.

The girl crawls into her friend's bed, who's instantly alert. Without a word, they hold each other, keep each other warm beneath the thin sheet. She hears her heartbeat, her steady pulse. And, just like that, the screams slowly fade away. She wishes to stay like this for an eternity, wrapped up in such warm safety. But fate has a way of mocking her, and she's all too aware that this shan't last. The days are being crossed out. People are dying. Turning into monsters.

And the mornings are growing colder––

–– 'Hey.'

It seems wherever Riley isn't, the chill invades her body. Like bullets. Knives. Everything all at once. Tearing apart her lungs, and suffocating her slowly. An odd thing. To depend on somebody else. To depend on someone so much, that the idea of them disappearing would surely grey all the happiness left. Not that there's much for her to steal.

Again, Riley nudges her. 'Ellie?'

The cell is damp. Cold. Not too long after her discussion with Maria and Tommy, Ellie returned to Riley's side. Not for any particular reason. Just for her company. Just to cuddle her. Just to lean her head against her, and maybe fall asleep. Forget what's really happening out there. Because, even for her, it can become unbearable.

Eventually.

Riley is warm. She's always been warm, but, in this moment, she's the only warmth Ellie can find. As always, trapped in her embrace, there isn't anywhere she'd rather be.

Because, as always, eternity doesn't sound like a bad idea.

'Eleanor?'

At the sound of her name, she responds. Ellie suddenly sits upright, rubs her eye, and frowns at Riley for waking her. 'What's the matter?'

'You should sleep in a bed.'

'I don't wanna,' Ellie mumbles, still half-conscious. 'It's cold out.'

Riley smiles crookedly. 'You sound like a four-year-old.'

'Tsk.'

'What were you dreamin' about?'

Ellie sighs, and falls into Riley again, this time holding onto her top. Just in case she'll pulled away from her. Just in case. Just in case she might lose her again. 'The school.' She says it so bluntly, so carelessly, and Riley's heart skips a beat.

Between them, they've never really spoken about military school. The things which happened to them. How their teachers and commanding officers abused them so fiercely. Riley tightens her hold on the other girl, and loses herself in the memory. Back then, it was just dark. Every day was a challenge. A challenge to not step one toe out of line, God forbid, unless you be thrown into freezing cold water. Trapped beneath the floorboard.

Shot.

They saw more deaths than they could count. Their own comrades murdered before their eyes for the slightest offence.

It was miraculous they survived.

Riley recalls the water very clearly. Once, she had been caught escaping the quarantine zone. As punishment, two soldiers lifted her up, dragged her, pulled her by the hair, stripped her down and threw her into the water. As if she were an object to be tossed. Waste. And the water made her gasp, cry out. It felt as if a million spears had punctured her body, and she couldn't breathe. Struggling against the freezing temperature.

The times Ellie was pushed in as well. Laughed at for her lack of ability to swim. It became about the humiliation, not so much the pain.

Riley exhales. 'You learn how to swim yet?'

A small laugh escapes her, but Riley knows Ellie has thought about those times too. 'Joel taught me.'

'Oh.' Riley's throat narrows. Thank God. 'It's about fuckin' time, man.'

'Shut the fuck up.'

'… you ever thought about going back?'

Ellie opens her eyes. The question doesn't sit right with her, and she faces Riley. The warmth has disappeared completely, and she says nothing. Riley softens her expression. They both suffered a great deal at the school, but Ellie had it worse. She wasn't exactly keen on making friends, and, really, the only person who gave her the time of day was Riley.

Not to mention she just wasn't good at anything. While her use of artillery was barely satisfactory, anything else was close to impossible. Even learning subjects. The school obviously accepted the fact Ellie had a diagnosis of some sort, a disability when it came to learning, but she was one of many potential soldiers.

They didn't care enough to pave another path for her in order to be taught.

'You remember Jonny? The guy I introduced you to?' Ellie remembers. Jonny wasn't a friend of hers by any means, but he used to hang around with Riley frequently. They were the same age, after all, and were similar in many ways. 'I saw him a few months back. He was alive! It's really weird seeing people from the past.'

'I get that.'

Riley smiles at what she's implying. Them. It was weird, wonderful, knowing they had both survived. And after seeing Ellie after all these years, Riley didn't care if she was being held prisoner. If she might die at the hands of these people.

At least she would die knowing Ellie lived.

'How'd you find him?'

Riley lowers her gaze. 'Tried to kill me, of course.' She shrugs. 'Barely recognised him at first. One of the scouts caught him, and I was about ready to fire, until I saw him properly. Funny, 'cos I instantly dropped my weapon and we hugged each other. As if we hadn't been tryna kill each other seconds ago.' She shakes her head lightly. 'It's so fucked up out there, Ellie. All this bullshit we're forced to believe in, and I don't just mean with the military.'

While she speaks, she reaches out and brushes a few strands of hair from Ellie's eyes.

'… failed to mention he was infected,' Riley continues. 'I found out the worst way. Wouldn't be here if I didn't have a gun on me at the time.' She drops her hand. Inhales. 'I asked him about the school. He didn't say much, but it's ran aground. There's nothing left. Everybody's dead. Or turned. Or somewhere. We've all been so busy killin' each other.'

Imagining an empty building, the place which haunts her––empty.

Nothing left.

Ellie feels sick to her stomach. 'Can we talk about somethin' else?' The lack of emotion in her voice proves to Riley this conversation has unsettled her. Riley nods. They both have their limits, and she's not about to abuse that.

'Come closer?'

She nearly does. But Ellie stops short at the sight of Riley's necklace. The dog tags. Riley narrows her brows, and follows her line of gaze. Looking back at Ellie, she tries to figure out what she could possibly be thinking. Ellie meets her eyes. Cruel it is, that those tags she loathes so much have been pressed to her bare breast more times than she'd ever imagine.

The coldness of the metal singes her skin. Ellie wraps her arms around herself, fingers digging into her shirt. They haven't discussed their previous approach. How they had just taken each other. The intensity, the heat of it all; how they were so enraptured in each other. Riley blinks, watches Ellie, and touches the chain of her tags.

Ellie's eyes are sharp, and she observes while Riley pulls the tags out from beneath her top. There they are: almost twinkling in the little light. Riley studies them, the Fire Fly logo, her name. Once, she had treasured these. Kept them close to her heart. Would promise to die with them still on. But that was a long time ago. Before she was given any sort of leadership, before losing Marlene, and before Ellie. Before all of this.

It's easy: betrayal.

How Marlene would roll in her grave.

Riley yanks off the tags. Frees herself from her burden, and then offers the tags to Ellie. The younger girl widens her eyes at the invitation, and Riley smiles shortly. 'I don't wanna see them again. Will you get rid of them for me?'

Hesitantly, Ellie takes the dog tags. 'What does this mean?'

'It means––'

Riley stops. Stares at the dog tags in Ellie's possession, how they seem to glare at her, and she quickly looks away. There are a thousand things this could mean. It could mean a lie. A bluff. It could mean that when Ellie's back is turned, Riley will hurt her again. It could mean absolutely nothing in the end. They're just dog tags. Just a chain, once wrapped around her neck. Squeezing.

But it's not a bluff. It's not a lie.

––and this is paramount.

This means that when Riley kissed her, it hadn't been a trick. It was just that. A kiss. Because kissing Ellie is the only action Riley has made which hasn't been demanded of her. No one gave her the order, nothing blindly compelled her. It was just her, just them, and it was happy. It was real, wholesome, genuine, all of this positivity she sometimes can't contain.

This means there's only one last thing––person––she's devoted to, and she doesn't require any form of identity in order to prove it.

In the simplest way, this mean she quits.

'I've changed my mind: if I get to survive and live in this shitty world, I don't wanna go ahead alone. I'd much rather do this whole thing with you.'

Closing her hand around the dog tags, Ellie raises a brow. 'You're serious?'

'Yeah.'

'What about your buddies next door?'

Riley shrugs. 'They're not my friends. You are. And I don't wanna lose you again.'

It makes her tremble. Hearing all of this. If she didn't know Riley as well as she did, then perhaps she wouldn't believe her. Accuse her of bullshitting her way out of blame. Luring Ellie in again, seducing her; but Riley doesn't have it in her to do that. Especially to the last person on earth whom she trusts. And Ellie does know her. Better than herself sometimes.

She thinks about the carousal. That tiny, perfect moment.

… round and round and round…

'What if you change your mind again?'

Riley shrugs. 'About what?'

It doesn't matter. From the start, she had made up her mind. There was the Fire Flies, their hope for a cure out there, and then there was Ellie. And Ellie centres everything. Once, Riley would have killed. Once, she would have obeyed Marlene's orders, and gone ahead with any procedure. Any experiment. Observe the surgery, watch their next test fail.

But Marlene is long gone, and, as far as Riley's concerned, any life with Ellie isn't really a life at all.

The Flies Flies amount to nothing when she's out of the picture.

Ellie holds up the tags, watches them twirl in her grasp, Riley's name engraved deeply into the metal. They're old. Used. Rusting away. And their owner has left them behind. Ellie doesn't return them, doesn't reject Riley. She pockets the dog tags, and says nothing.

Allows a silent promise to pass.

'I'm sorry,' Riley whispers. Sorry for it all, the mistakes she made; sorry for the hurt she has caused to this wonderful girl. 'Do you forgive me?'

So, Ellie laughs a little. Shrugs. 'There's nothin' for me to forgive.' Because a decision was eventually made. Riley lowered the gun when given the choice. Riley abandoned the tags around her neck. Riley changed her mind, for Ellie, and that is what she remembers most.

Riley kisses her cheek. Ellie twitches a smile.

'You know I love you, right?'

Ellie snorts. 'Yeah. Right.'

She takes Riley's hand, intertwines their fingers together, and sits beside her. Their hips bump together, shoulders meet, and Ellie leans into her side. She inspects Riley's bare collarbone, free from any tags, and she's relieved. That's where Ellie kisses her.

The place her burden once dominated.

'I love you too.'

As Riley caresses a hand through her hair, past her cheek, Ellie comes closer. She rests into Riley like she did when they were young recruits. Scared out of their wits, and sneaking out of their beds, through the window, a little bruised, a little reckless. When crawling into Riley's tiny bed was the only time she felt truly safe, protected, and warm.

It kept them alive, at least. Having each other.

That is why Riley stays. Willing to remain locked behind a heavy door, to keep her head down, and earn whatever trust she can achieve. Until she's done her time, and the door opens––for good. For Ellie. Riley will do that for her. Remain in this camp, do what she has to. All for the girl beside her. Inspecting their tangled hands, Riley inhales Ellie's sweet scent. It's something familiar, something like home.

'I'm glad I got you.'

'Oh, yeah?'

'Yeah.'

Ellie looks up at her, wearing a cocky grin. 'Better get used to me quick––might have me for the rest of your fuckin' life.'

'I ain't complainin'.' They snicker at their silly affection, at what they have laid out before one another. A hope they've both wanted all the while.

Them. Happy. Be it for another year, ten, 'till the end of time.

Riley tightens their embrace, and the thought of a whole life, a whole life devoted to this one person, makes her overwhelmed with happiness.

Because anywhere, anywhere with Ellie Williams, is the only place she'd rather be.

End.

author's note: Writing is like creating my own garden. I plant the seeds, but I can't really dictate where things go, and I wasn't exactly expecting the story to finish until the end of this chapter. But I can't think of any other way to leave these two. I like to end things for my readers to decide, but, yes, Riley will eventually be let out. I would find it very out of character if Maria were to keep her in there forever. Plus, Ellie does have Joel on her side, hence the prior chapter. What happens next is up to you.

Like I said before, this story has been a marathon. I'm very bittersweet to be saying good bye to it. It's been a long, long time since a story has kept me on my feet. I definitely want to write more about Ellie and Riley. In this story, I've written the occasional flashback to when they were in military school, so perhaps a prequel is in order? A short story, at least. I might write one out before (or during) my travels to Australia. I'm a speedy writer, so that might happen. (Or even a sequel...?)

This story barely touched on zombies, I realised. It focussed much more on the people. The actual game focusses on both, but I've always felt the actual people are the issue here; not necessarily the undead. Plus, I got so wrapped up in Ellie's mother, her decision in regards to the vaccine; and Riley's involvement with the Fire Flies, I guess I wasn't as interested in the obvious.

Thank you to everybody who has stuck by me with each chapter. It's been more than a pleasure. Please do send in feedback!