Chapter 16: Proud

"You have a date! Light, you have a date! You have a date!" Sayu's excited screams rang through the neighborhood and, quite possibly, the universe, and at the very least, Sayu's cries of joy rattled her apartment complex. Sayu had moved out of their parents' house and into an apartment only recently, and while the siblings' mother and father had been sad to see their only daughter leave the family house, everyone knew that Sayu gaining a foothold of independence was for the best.

In the meantime, though, Sayu ran, jumped, and sobbed tears of joy, for this was the first time her big brother had willingly gone on a date in actual years.

Of course she'd be excited. After that Misa-Misa disaster that had occurred during Light's high school days, Light had decided right then and there to give up on love all together, an action which lead to Sayu's mild devastation.

However, despite knowing all of this, he still couldn't believe the elation in her eyes once he told her the good news. Granted, at this point, this was far from the first date he had been on with L, but he just hadn't bothered to talk to anyone about his love life until now. In fact, his family knew so little about his dating situation that they didn't even know that L was another man, and Light had no intention of telling anyone.

It wasn't that his family had shown any particular hostility towards the LGBTQ+ community, with Sayu being one of the most open-minded people that Light knew. Light himself had never possessed any qualms about or discomfort around the community, either, even before he realized his own sexuality, but against all of this, against all reason and logic and observation, Light still could not find it within himself to tell anyone.

Not acquaintances, not coworkers, and not even his own family. He couldn't, and he didn't know why. There was something unnerving about coming out, as if he was about to open Pandora's Box every time he considered such an action. He was by no means afraid of people's reactions. He was too talented to be fired from work over this, too attractive for most people to care, and his family was too close to let something as silly as Light's gender of interest tear everyone apart. Still, something stopped him, prevented him from being honest with the people around him, but he was used to that.

He was used to hiding, hiding his flaws, his turmoil, and, yes, his love life as well.

Light had never been an open book. No one had been able to read him. Well, at least no one until L showed up, but that was entirely different. Light didn't need to open himself up to L; L could crack open Light and still have brain power left to spare, just like how Light read L just as easily as he could breathe. Never before had Light been so swept away, so at ease, and with L, Light finally had the opportunity to rest after a lifetime of pretending.

Light didn't know where this habit of pretending came from. It just came naturally to him, he guessed. It was automatic, his auto-pilot, as if this was his default setting. But L, L had, with swift and nimble fingers, quickly switched that default setting off. L had managed to tinker, in a good way, with Light. L, at long last, managed to crack Light's mask. No, actually. He didn't crack it; he shattered it. After Light's lifetime of comfortable yet lonely self-defense, L had navigated his way through the maze of Light's heart. And L was there in the man's heart, there to stay, and something told Light that L wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Light shook his head playfully, then stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms at Sayu in a teasing manner, and he leaned against the wall, watching his sister with boundless energy run around. She clearly had joy written all over her face.

"Oh stop it," Light said, the conflict that churned within him hidden behind playful banter. "You're starting to sound like Mom."

"Shut up, this is exciting. Let me have my moment," Sayu, in a quite dramatic, over-the-top fashion, feigned hurt as she pretended to fall from Light's comment.

Then, Sayu stopped, her playful demeanor still there but turned down from an eleven to a solid eight, "Where are you and the lucky lady going, anyway?"

Light subconsciously winced when Sayu said "lady." He and L had talked about it before, and L completely understood that Light wasn't ready to come out yet. But, it still felt so, so wrong when Sayu defaulted to using female pronouns when describing Light's love interest. Light knew that Sayu was open-minded and that she'd correct herself in a heartbeat if he told her, but something, something about being unable to come out while at the same time being very aware of his love for another men, gnawed away at Light, eating him from the inside out.

It was then he realized that he hadn't told anybody. Yes, he held the awareness that he had, for now, remained in the closet, but the full weight of it didn't come crashing down until this moment.

He hadn't told anyone about his sexuality yet, not even his own family.

Light wanted to tell them. He wanted so badly to proclaim to the world that he was gay and that it was okay, but he couldn't. This suffocating state felt like screaming to the world behind a glass wall, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get anyone to hear. It frustrated him, frustrated Light to an almost unimaginable extent. It frustrated him to be so aware of himself yet still so unable to share such a significant part of his person

Sayu continued bouncing around excitedly, completely unaware of all the thoughts that raced through Light's head. It wasn't as if anyone would notice Light's turmoil, though. Light hid it well, too well, in fact.

Light's face remained calm, with a gentle smile and relaxed, almost sleepy-looking eyes. His arms sat in a crossed position, his hands not clenched, and overall, his body language conveyed tranquility. L would've been able to see right through this facade, but for everyone else, this was more than enough.

It was easy. It was so, so easy to pretend. Light didn't know if pretending came so easily to him because of his intelligence, or because he had done it for so long, but he was sick of pretending. Despite this, however, he couldn't stop. It was just too easy.

"We're going to an art museum," was Light's simple reply. "And please, I know you mean well, but don't follow us there, okay?"

"Alright, I won't."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, yeah, promise."

It wasn't often that L went flower shopping. In fact, if it wasn't obvious enough, L hadn't been, and hadn't been for a while, the hugest fan of going outside in general.

But, he had to do this for Light, L reminded himself. It became the only thought that powered him through this torturous thirty minutes at a flower boutique. Watari was waiting outside in a parked limo, of course, so at least he didn't have to walk home, but L so seldom shopped that he had to reverse-engineer the process every time.

What did he have to do again? Oh, right. First, he'd have to select the flowers. That in itself wasn't too bad, although it would've been even better if there weren't so many people around. Second, L would have to make the short trek up to the counter, which, again, wasn't ideal but also not absolutely awful. The third and final step, however, sent anxiety shooting up his spine: he would have to actually interact with the cashier in order to pay for the flowers.

The cashier, an old woman who actually didn't look too dissimilar from Watari in appearance, seemed not too intimidating, and she gave every customer a smile as they approached the register. For all L knew, though, she could've been a spy sent out to track him down and strip him of his anonymity in front of the world. Did it sound like L was paranoid as hell? Yes, and he agreed not to argue against that, but could you really blame him? Being a world-famous detective with a top-secret identity tended to do that to you, yeah?

L audibly sighed, and he forced himself to get back to the task at hand. He had a date with Light this evening, and after all Light had done for him, L needed to at least get the amazing man some flowers. Watari had offered to purchase the flowers for him, but L insisted that this time, he had to make the purchase himself. The only thing that stood a chance against defeating his near crippling social anxiety was his stubbornness, and L wondered if this would be the only time he could willingly conquer such a moment of anxiety. Being nervous in public didn't mean anything compared to the significance of L choosing and buying the flowers himself, buying them for Light and for Light only.

The bouquet he had selected was simple yet elegant.

After much contemplation, L had decided on an assortment of sunflowers and magnolias, because roses were too cliche for Light and L couldn't take salmon-colored tulips seriously, and satisfied with his choice, L began the nerve-wracking march towards the counter.

Closer, closer, closer.

Then he froze, froze in place because he had never bought flowers for anyone before, much less for a romantic partner.

Dammit, L, move! Move, he said! L stood, clutching the flowers as tightly as possible without damaging the dainty petals.

People passed by, not even bothering to stare at this strange man standing in the middle of the store, and L assumed that they all were busy persons with places to go and things to do. With that, the detective was grateful to the lack of attention he drew.

L's body stilled, as if he had turned into a scarecrow, and no matter how hard he tried, not a muscle within his body agreed to movement.

Finally, after three minutes, which really felt more like three centuries, L's leg twitched, and he broke the stillness that had fallen upon him just as suddenly as it had began.

The detective quickly scooted to the counter, and once he arrived at the cashier, he gently set the bouquet on the table. The old woman who was the cashier greeted him with a bit of small-talk, and as much as L despised small-talk, he did his best to nod and reply politely, in order to avoid a scene.

"Who are the flowers for, young man?" the woman asked, smiling. L knew she was trying to be polite, he really did, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood, his arms tingling. Somehow, someway, though, L managed to snap out of his head and sputter out a reply.

"A partner," L said, his voice monotone but his mind on the verge of exploding.

"Well, there's a lucky lady waiting for them, I assume," the cashier stifled a giggle as she processed the flowers. "Is it for a date?"

Time for L momentarily stopped. He wanted so, so badly to correct the woman, to tell her, politely yet without a hint of emotion, that he was with a man. But, he didn't. He just nodded curtly.

"Would you like a tag?" the woman inquired.

L nodded once more.

"Which one would you like?" the woman displayed an array of bouquet tags, and L chose one that said in generic, printed cursive, "Roses are red, violets are blue, but the loveliest flower of them all is you."

"Thank-you," L said softly.

"No problem." The woman waved as L exited the shop, and she turned for the next customer.

"Oh, you didn't have to!" Light's face went red when he opened his front door and was faced with a huge bouquet of sunflowers and magnolias. He covered his face, half embarrassed and half touched at such a sweet gesture.

"Nonsense. Of course I had to," L replied. Light found L's monotone, along with his unique diction and syntax style, endearing and adorable, and Light felt so proud of L when he mentioned that he had bought the flowers himself, the flowers touching him even more than before.

He nearly tackled L when he hugged him, and he passionately kissed him on the lips. L had grown much less jumpy and much more comfortable to Light's touch, so Light knew that he could impulsively hug the detective without freaking him out.

"Come in, come in!" Light exclaimed as he let L go and stepped aside to let him in. "Is Watari here?"

"No, actually. He thought that it was best to leave us alone, so he just dropped me off before leaving," L replied. He added, mumbling as he did so, "Watari also said that I need more experience with the subway system. I can see where he's coming from, but I really do not find the point in all of this." L's voice grew softer and softer as he spoke, probably embarrassed at the fact that he sounded like a child complaining about their parents. A soft little pout formed on L's face after he finished his sentence, causing for Light to laugh for a few moments.

"Don't make fun of me," L huffed sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. L was wonderful when he did that, when he showed even a hint of emotion within his face. When he and L had just met, Light remembered L's face being so unreadable that it almost seemed as if the man had no emotion at all, but Light now knew that such a motion lied miles away from the truth. He knew that L was just a human like everyone else, feelings and all, even though Light saw L as particularly special and amazing.

"Seriously, thank-you," Light told L as he grinned from ear to ear, his hands accepting the flowers from L's. "I'll put them in a vase later. Do you want some tea before we leave?"

L nodded, causing for Light to rush into the kitchen and return with two steaming cups, along with an entire bag of sugar. "Just in case."

"Thanks," L grinned. "You know me well." L took the bag of sugar and poured in a terrifying, almost absurd amount before setting the bag down onto the table.

Light gently kissed L on the cheek before both of them sat down on Light's couch, and they looked at each other, happy just to be in the other's company.

They sat in silence for a bit of time, saying nothing. They didn't have to say anything. It just felt so right to be together, as if it was meant to be. L reached out his hand and set it on top of Light's, then took another sip of tea.

After the longest time, L spoke.

"This is nice," L commented.

"Yeah," Light agreed.

L suddenly let go of Light's hand, then he leaned his head on Light's shoulder, "I can't believe that I'm in a relationship now."

"I can't help but say the same," Light nodded, taking another sip of tea as he did so.

"I love you," L smiled.

"I love you, too," Light replied, also smiling.

"Do you ever wonder how we ended up here?" L asked.

"Yeah, all the time," Light said. "Who knew that I'd find a boyfriend with you of all people?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, before I met you, I was unsure if I'd ever find love at all."

"Really? But women flock to you."

"I'm not attracted to women, remember?"

"Oh, yes."

"L, are you gay, or do you like women, too?"

"I only find men attractive, but I've only ever been able to develop romantic feelings for you, Light. I'm Light-sexual, I guess."

"I guess I'm L-sexual, then. Because I can find a man attractive, but you're the only person I really enjoy the company of, other than my family, of course."

"Aww, so sweet."

"Not as sweet as you," Light said. He kissed L's hair.

"No, you're sweeter," L retorted. "And cuter."

"Stop calling me cute." Light rolled his eyes. "Besides, you're cuter. You look like a panda."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the bags under your eyes make them look like a Panda's. You should get more sleep, though."

"This, again?"

"Yes. Get some sleep at least tonight, alright?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Modern art is weird."

L drank in the sight of a monstrous blown glass sculpture that consisted of a random amalgamation of shapes and colors, and in L's opinion, the harmony and composition of the sculpture was a complete and utter wreck.

"Yes, this is strange," Light agreed. He looked curiously at the museum brochure, and he turned it sideways, upside-down, even inside-out, almost as if turning it so that the light hit it in a particular way would reveal the meaning of every truth in the universe itself.

L and Light stood close to each other, L's arm wrapped tightly around Light's and Light leaning gently against L. They were a couple, so of course they were in that position. They got a few stares, a few odd looks as to why an attractive, model-like man held close to him another man who looked like he had just climbed out of bed after three all-nighters, but L found everyone else easy enough to ignore. Light didn't seem to mind too much, either, and just to rub it in and tell everyone that they shouldn't stare at the only same-sex couple in the gallery, L lovingly kissed Light on the chin.

They continued onward through the gallery, and Light told L, "You know, you're definitely right about at least one thing."

"And what is that?" L asked rhetorically.

"Going to a modern art museum is very relevant when you're confused about yourself, because everything here is confusing, too."

L giggled, and he leaned in closer to Light. The couple approached a painting.

"Hmm, this is new," Light lifted an eyebrow as L noticed that a white canvas with a single black dot in the center had caught his lover's attention.

"Yes, I have never seen anything quite like it, and not in a good way," L commented. It was now Light's turn to laugh. "Why are we even here?"

"I don't know; you're the one who invited me," Light shrugged.

"True. Do you think that this gallery is worth the 6000 yen you paid?" L questioned.

"To be honest, no."

"Me neither. I could have at least picked up half the bill, you know. I was the one who suggested that we go here."

"I told you, you got me flowers, so it'd only be fair if I pay for the museum. Also, good that you think that, because I was momentarily afraid that I would hurt your feelings when I said that the price of the museum wasn't worth it."

"Of course something as trivial as that wouldn't hurt my feelings. We're adults, not stupid teenagers, remember? Besides, this gallery is garbage. How much would you pay?"

"A thousand yen per person, maybe? You?"

"Not even that."

"Really? I feel sorry for the artists with your thinking so critically of them."

"Don't be; an art gallery like this is a perfect opportunity to launder money."

"Really?"

"Yes; I've had plenty of cases like that in the past."

"How many cases have you had, Ryuzaki?"

"I don't know. I have had too many to count, and work on several at once, as you know. It depends, really. Of course, I don't take on every case I come across. Sometimes, I won't accept a case even if they offer more money than the others. I suppose it often comes down to justice and urgency."

"I respect your sense of justice, then."

"I respect yours as well."

"Really?"

"It's a bit different than mine, but it'd never be very interesting if everyone was the same, would it?"

"Of course not."

L and Light looked at each other.

"I feel like we'd be enemies in a different universe," L voiced one of the musings he'd had in the past out loud.

"How come?" Light asked, looking quite confused. "I can't imagine hating you."

"I mean, despite our differences, we're quite compatible under these circumstances, but under different ones, two geniuses in a battle of wits does not breed healthy bonding," L replied.

"When I think about it, it does make sense. But I'm not enemies with you. I love you very much." Light kissed L on the cheek again, and L wasn't even self-conscious of the affection he was receiving. At the moment, only Light mattered.

"We should leave," Light suddenly suggested. "But we can stay if you want."

"Don't be preposterous. I don't want to stay here for another five seconds unless you do," L replied. "Although, I feel somewhat guilty for wasting your money. Are you sure I can't at least pay my half? I feel bad about you paying for that dropped cheesecake, too."

"Not the cheesecake again," Light snickered, and L did, too. "Well, at least I met you because of that fiasco."

"But seriously, let's leave. I don't know how many more solid-color canvases I can see without being driven mad," L interrupted the little laugh they were having, wishing strongly that they could leave this stuffy museum. He'd had enough reflections of his confused emotions for now.

"Yeah, let's leave," Light agreed.

With that, they strolled out, and they both promised each other to not go to a modern art museum during date night for at least another five years, assuming that their romantic relationship would last that long. For the first time in his life, though, L felt a sense of optimism concerning that subject.

L and Light strolled, their hands linked, on the sidewalk, not really caring where they were going during that warm, summer night. Wind softly furled against their foreheads and whispered its lullaby-like tune against their ears, and L relished Light's company.

They'd been walking for a while, when L realized that they were walking aimlessly without much to do, "Do you want to do something?"

"Yeah. What do you have in mind?" Light inquired.

"I don't know. You pick, as I do not believe that I trust my own date night choices anymore," L responded. "And if we go somewhere that requires the spending of money, I'm paying."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, and you can't stop me from being nice to you."

"Well, okay then."

"But seriously, Light, where do you want to go?"

Light paused in his stride, which caused for L to, in turn, also still, and L saw Light's face strain a bit in contemplation. Light definitely was not using much of his brain power to decide, but with him being a genius, even minor decisions required at least one careful mulling over.

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet," Light asked after a good minute of thought.

"That I am," L replied.

"And, it's not that late yet, so it'd be a shame not to eat something while we're at this point," Light added.

"Yes, that sounds about right," L nodded. "Where to, then?"

"Nowhere too far; I know that you're not too fond of the subway systems." Light surveyed their surroundings, and L was both glad and touched that Light took the anxiety he tended to feel while on the subway into consideration.

"Bar?" Light asked, but L knew that the question was rhetorical. They laughed together at such a ridiculous suggestion.

"No, too many drunk people," Light took the words right out of L's mouth. "We went to get ramen on Valentine's day. There's a sushi restaurant, but if I'm to be honest, I don't think that anyone can beat my mom's."

"My, my, so picky," L teased, and he stuck his tongue out at Light.

Light rolled his eyes in response, and he kissed L on the lips, presumably to shut the man up. It worked.

"I think that one's good," Light decided, and L noticed him point to a small restaurant that looked to have a decent selection but at the same time wasn't too busy at the moment.

"As long as they have sweets," L added.

"I'm sure they will," Light replied, giggling. "But could you at least try some of my food? Just a bite?"

"Only for you," L said as he breathed heavily through his nose, annoyed that Light had the ability to get him to do these sorts of things.

They walked a block, and they entered the restaurant, where the waiter seated them at a booth upon L's request. L preferred the privacy of a booth, as he was, after all, only taking baby steps in his endeavors to appear in public more often.

Light thanked the waiter before the couple sat down, and the waiter walked away after giving both of them menus. L, of course, flipped straight to the dessert section.

They placed in their orders and were waiting for food, when the conversation drifted towards the state of their relationship.

"Light, this may sound a bit sudden, but when do you think that you will tell your family about, um, us?" L asked, cocking his head to the side as he did so. He knew that dating in secret was something that he shouldn't have minded. He knew that he was being irrational and maybe even a tad demanding. After all, Light had promised to, under no circumstances, tell anyone for any reason L's secret identity, but it made his heart clench uncomfortably at the idea of Light never revealing the relationship to his family.

"I, I don't know, honestly," Light admitted with a sigh. He leaned his head on his hand, and he continued, "I don't even know what's stopping me. It's not that I'm afraid of how people will react. It's, it's just that I don't know how to go about it."

"Fair point," L nodded. "We could do it together if you want, whenever you're ready."

"That would make it slightly less terrifying," Light replied as he smiled fondly at L. "You make everything better."

"Oh, stop that," L looked away, his face as red as a strawberry, and he brought his hands up to his face to conceal his blush.

"But it's true," Light smiled. He gently set his hand on top of L's hand to pull it away from his blushing face. "You're cute when you're blushing. You know that?"

"Not as cute as you," L retorted.

Light rolled his eyes, his words a mumble and his lips in a pout, "No, you're cuter."

There was a sigh, and L and Light stopped teasing each other, both of them knowing well the important conversation that they were about to have.

"We've been dating for how long now? Two, maybe three months? We've known each other for half a year, perhaps more, and we're both very serious about this relationship. I think they deserve to know," L said, his tone a bit more somber than he would've liked, but he was still trying to get used to injecting emotion into his voice.

"I know. If I don't tell them eventually, it's going to blow up and tear us apart, isn't it?" Light predicted.

"I think so. People can only bottle up secrets for so long." L looked at Light, his eyes wide.

"I know," Light sighed, his shoulder's slumping slightly.

L hated seeing Light sad, but it was something that had to be discussed.

Then, there was a look in Light's eyes. His eyes twinkled with a spark of determination, and L knew that look and knew it well. Light looked so determined, so hellbent on doing what had to be done. That look was special, special because L had only seen it three times since meeting Light, and it was a look that drew L in and kept him in.

The first time L had seen Light like that, it was when the brown-haired man sat in the NPA meeting room. L had been watching from a camera for a while now, as he usually did. Light sat in the back, silently stewing away at every puzzle piece of the case, and when he had finally put it together, his eyes had fire in them. The day after, they had caught the murderer.

Then, L saw that look for the second time during a potentially dangerous hostage situation. He was, like before, watching from a camera, his heart beating a million times a second as fear for his friend built up, but L saw that look on Light's face and instantly knew that everything would be alright, that Light had this, that Light could absolutely, positively do this.

And now, L was seeing that look for the third time. Light's eyes glistened with unwavering certainty, and when Light looked at L, L's spine tingled.

"I know I have to tell them," Light spoke, his voice more serious than L had ever heard it. He tightly gripped L's hands, and he looked at the world-famous detective right in the eyes, "Ryuzaki, I was unsure before, but now I know. I love you, and my family deserves to know about you, and you deserve better than me hiding you from my own family. I'm going to tell them."

A pause settled in for a few moments before L managed to ask the question that often came in and went through his head.

"When?"

"During dinner at my parents' house tomorrow, but can you do me one favor?"

"Anything for you, Light. You know that."

"Can you be there for me? Please? Can you promise me? Do you promise to be there with me, so that we can tell them together? I don't want to do this alone. I don't think that I can do this alone."

"I promise."

"Thank-you. Thank-you so, so much."

"I promise, Light. I promise."

"L, I want for the world, and most importantly you, to know that I'm proud, proud that I'm gay and proud that I'm with you and you're with me, and I'm tired, so, so tired of hiding."

"I know. I'm tired of hiding, too. I'm proud to be with you, too. I'm going to be so, so proud of you when you tell them, Light, when you tell them how much I love you and how much you love me."

They ate their dinner, and the rest of the night carried itself out as a lighthearted one. L dared to say that he actually had fun venturing out in public for once, Light's promise ringing like church bells in the rain.

I finally wrote and posted something in less than a year! Woo-hoo! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. As you can imagine, I plan to make the next chapter about Light coming out to his family, and I can bet that both L and Light are quite nervous about the event!

I wanted to get this story out in time for National Pride Month, and I finished with one day to spare! Not too bad, if I do say so myself, for someone who procrastinates as much as I do.

Happy Pride Month, everyone, and enjoy the rest of your summer!