This little one shot was mostly written to tame the rabid angsting Pinfeathers/Isobel shipper and intense Pinfeathers fangirl inside of me. I realize that this ship is uncommon for fans of these beautiful, wonderful books, but the heart wants what it wants man! I mean, it is technically canon, if you know what I mean. And I figured if I exist there must be some other shippers out there, so this is for you guys, too. We exist!
I also wrote it to ease the crippling book hangover I got when I finished the trilogy. I've never written fic for any books, EVER, so this should tell you how affected I was by these characters. I'm currently writing a million things right now, but I just had to get this finished while I had some free time. And maybe, just maybe, I might write more one shots and drabbles in the future. In my head, this story goes amazingly well with Wicked Love by Foxes (a song I adore).
Stay with me here: This one shot takes place in a weird head canon post-Oblivion alternate universe where Varen successfully separated himself from Lilith. But the dreamworld still exists, and Varen found a way to bring Pinfeathers back, completely separated from Scrimshaw, and he's good as new. I know, I know. It makes no sense. Also, it's a couple years later, when Isobel and Varen are in college, around when the epilogue takes place. So...canon-compliant AU? Maybe? I took some artistic license...yeah, just do me a favor and suspend belief.
The idea isn't terribly original, and if someone else has come up with this sort of idea already (I'm sure someone else out there has), I swear I had no idea! Also, I know the books are in third person, but I'm most comfortable writing in first person.
OKAY, here we go.
Disclaimer: All characters and settings from the Nevermore trilogy were created by and belong to Kelly Creagh.
Into You
That night, when I had just gotten back to my apartment alone after catching a late movie with Gwen, I had fully expected to just take a shower and go to bed.
But after I'd gotten out of the shower and ventured into my dark bedroom, fully dressed in my favorite pink nightgown, something unexpected was waiting for me there.
I was pulling back the covers on my bed when I heard a noise from somewhere in the room. I whirled around, my eyes searching through the stark darkness. "Who's there?" I called. No response.
I slowly crept to the other side of my bedroom, fists braced at my side, ready to swing. I stepped past my full-length mirror. The hair on the back of my neck rose, the way it always did now whenever I saw a mirror in the darkness—the reaction felt like instinct for me even years later. I stopped again, my breathing loud with anxiety. "Hello?" I whispered.
That's when I heard someone chuckle.
In the mirror, I saw his reflection as he crossed his arms across my torso from behind, red claws fanned out over either shoulder. His face, gaping hole in his right cheek on full display, appeared to the upper right of my face. There he was, all spindly limbs and angles, black and chains. "Hello."
"Pin?" I stared at him, shocked and relieved to see him here. He had appeared out of nowhere, like usual—but without Varen this time. Varen was nowhere to be seen. I sighed heavily, the muscles in my body unclenching all at once. "Why the hell did you do that? You scared me."
At my obvious surprise and annoyance, Pinfeathers simpered in near glee. Even after all this time, he still couldn't resist catching me off guard whenever he had the chance. "Miss me?" He asked me in his acidic voice. He turned his face in toward mine, and his nose nuzzled against my ear.
My shock changed to confusion. "What are you doing here?"
He remained close, turning his face into my hair. "What do you think?" He answered dryly. "I decided to come over and ask you for some new recommendations on TV. I need a new show to watch."
"Pin, I'm serious."
"So am I."
I glared, giving him a weary look. I made to pull away.
Pinfeathers' arms around me didn't budge. He said flippantly, "Oh, don't give me that look. Stop acting like you haven't missed me. I know you have." He hummed, pausing. "Granted, it's only been a week since we last saw each other. But a week can seem like a decade, can't it? Especially for me. Considering I don't sleep." He carefully reached up with one clawed hand, brushing some of my hair away from my face. "Can you blame me for wanting a nice welcome back?"
I had given up on trying to get out of his embrace, though it wasn't like I'd really been trying that hard anyway. And it wasn't like I disliked it either. But he could really get on my nerves sometimes—and always on purpose. He knew exactly which buttons of mine to push. I sighed impatiently, rolling my eyes. "Where's Varen? Is something wrong? Why isn't he here with you?"
"Who knows?"
Exasperated now, I shot out, "Pin!"
He laughed once, amused at my irritation with him. Relenting, he finally admitted with an unrepentant, wicked smile, "I told him not to come." He paused with a moment of thought. "Actually, scratch that. We agreed upon it."
Catching me off guard genuinely this time, I blinked at him, wondering if I had indeed heard him correctly. "Wait. You both agreed on you coming over without him? Why?"
He tutted. "Come now, Cheerleader. He can't have you all the time. That would be a bit totalitarian dictator of him, wouldn't it?" He turned his black irises to mine evenly in the mirror's reflection. His lips parted and upturned in a half smirk, exposing razor sharp serrated red teeth. "After all, you've said it yourself. Quite a few times. You love me, too. Remember?"
At his words, I immediately flushed, my entire face heating up. "Stop it." I didn't deny it, though. After all, I really had said that I loved him. Multiple times.
And I'd meant it.
Pinfeathers' eyes becoming lidded in a smug expression, he made a peculiar sound, halfway between a snort and a scoff. "Don't get bashful on me now." One of his eyebrows arched as he pressed tighter against my back. "You already said it. Can't take it back."
My face was still red. Quietly, I said, "I would never take it back."
After all this time, I still didn't quite understand how he had heard me say it, and I knew he would never tell me how. Not directly, anyway. But he had heard it. Just as I had heard him confess that he loved me, just seconds before he had given his life to save mine, smashed his own porcelain body to shards, for the second consecutive time.
I didn't think I was ever going to see him again. I'd thought that he was gone forever. And when Varen had made the decision to bring him back to life, it had been a sweet blessing and a bitter curse.
"I wouldn't either," his voice had dropped down to a whisper, and he bent down, lowering his lips to my ear again. "Never."
My eyelids fluttered. Chills spread over my skin, reacting before I could get a grip on myself. I finally broke away from him, and this time, he let me. "Pin, don't." I backed up a few steps from him. "We can't."
"Can't what?" He asked, coyly folding his hands behind his back.
Frustrated, I said in a low voice, "Pin."
"Isobel." Pin very rarely used my name. But when he did, he said it like Varen said it. Is-o-bel. Three full syllables. Gorgeous. Like music, even in his static-like voice, which had over time grown to sound like music to me, too.
I went on, frowning, uncertainty lacing my tone. "We can't do this. Whatever…this is. We can't."
"Why is that?" He took a few steps closer to me, tilting his head to the side. "And what would you call 'this'?"
"Isn't this…" I floundered for a moment as he continued to stare at me, flustered that he was even forcing me to say it out loud. "…cheating?" Even just saying the word aloud felt wrong. I felt guilty immediately.
"Not really, no." Pause. Slowly, he reached up with the back of his hand and smoothed against the scar on my cheek with his knuckles. The scar he had, long ago, given me to protect me. "You can't technically cheat on someone with themselves, now, can you?"
I turned my back to him, folding my arms. "That's not how Varen would see it."
"Oh, on the contrary," Pinfeathers said, amusement coloring his tone. "He gave us his blessing. He knows that you, in any dimension or world, would never exclusively choose me over him. But he also knows how we feel. How both of us feel about you. How you feel about him, and how you feel about me. So we decided to propose a deal." He suddenly appeared through violet wisps of smoke directly in front of me, took one of my hands in his, and dipped down at the waist in a bow, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand.
His lips didn't feel at all like they did during our first kiss, if it could even be called that—it had been meant to scare me, sharp and morbid. Our second kiss, the one we shared in my bedroom when I'd thought he was Varen—it was like this. Smooth and soft. With as much intensity behind it as our first encounters. And desire.
I turned over his words in my head as I stared down at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying to me. Because it sounded like what he was saying to me was a bunch of crazy nonsense. "So…what? Are you telling me that you—you and Varen—you want to share me?"
"With your consent only, of course." Without lifting his inclined head, he lifted his black gaze up at me from underneath his brow. The devilish smirk made its' reappearance. "But don't we already?"
Taking my hand out of his grip, I shook my head, backing away. "No. We can't. This is insane."
He stood at full towering height again, raising his eyebrows wryly and folding his arms. "After all that you've been through already, after all of that mind splitting madness that ended all three of our lives at least once, you think that this, of all things, is insane?"
This gave me pause. He definitely had a point. After defeating an otherworldly demon and saving the world, yeah. This definitely seemed tame. His words had planted a hint of doubt, but I still felt weirded out by the very suggestion of this. I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know."
"It's not insane," he said, tilting his head at me. "Admit it. It's the only option that makes sense. For us. For you. I know you love him more, but what about me?"
I shook my head at him again, frowning at him. "That's not fair. Don't you dare say that."
Pinfeathers took a step toward me, then stopped. "But it's true." His face at once grave, black eyes flooded with sudden ache, he went on in a lower voice, "Look, I know this is strange. But at least you and the boy have a home here in this reality. Though my old home remains intact, I truly belong nowhere. The boy, he co-exists with me now, but this is not my world. I'm stuck in-between. And to me, true insanity would be to live in this strange, unfamiliar existence without you." He took another step closer, maintaining his locked gaze. "You may choose whatever you choose. And I wouldn't fault you for it. But would you exile me to that kind of torment?"
I hated when he talked that way. As if he were some horrible, wretched creature that no one could love. Least of all me. My heart throbbing, I took a step toward him, too. Then I closed the remaining distance between us, wrapping my arms around his hollow torso, hugging him tightly. "Pin, stop it." My voice was soft. Reaching up with my right hand, I placed my palm where once he had put my ribbon—my promise—in his chest where his heart would be. "You know I hate it when you talk about yourself that way."
Impulsively, as if he absolutely could not help himself, he reached up, placing both smooth, cool hands gently on each side of my face. For a long time, he watched my eyes. Then finally, he said in a voice so quiet that it surprised me, "You know if ever faced once more with the decision, I wouldn't hesitate to waste my soul all over again to protect yours. But," he spoke the next words slowly and succinctly, "I do not want to leave you again."
Holding his gaze, I wrapped my right arm around him once again. "Then stay."
After my response, his eyes searched mine once more. Held them even longer. The briefest flash of hope flickered in his—then agony. Then he nodded very slightly. "As you wish," he told me.
I couldn't believe I was warming to this idea. But it had already begun to sound less crazy—it had already begun to seem like the only choice for all of us. "So," I started, leveling a wry look up into his face. "How is this weirdness supposed to work? There's only one of me, you know."
Just like that, his face lit up again, devilish playfulness returned. "The boy will have you during the day," he said. With a pause, he dipped his face down to mine and stopped a mere inch away, the tips of our noses brushing. "But your nights are mine."
I was only caught off guard for a moment, my pulse stuttering. Then my eyebrows lifted skeptically. "And how long will this specific arrangement last? It seems pretty impractical, if you ask me."
Pinfeathers considered this for a moment, then nodded once, conceding my point. "Perhaps it will be eventually," he allowed. "But I'm a reasonable creature, my dear. And it's not such a rigid arrangement that it can't be altered if need be." Carefully, his thumbs stroked my cheeks.
I still had no idea how this was going to work between the three of us. But I supposed that it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. Leaning into his touch, I let my eyelids slide shut. I muttered, "I guess you're right."
This time, when he replied in a whisper, his lips brushed against mine. Soft. Like the downy feathers of a bird. Delicate, exquisite sin. Saccharine danger. "I told you so."
The smile that spread on my face, slow and quiet in its' bliss, was completely out of my control. I opened my eyes, meeting his lidded gaze. "Shut up," I whispered back.
Roguishness flashed in his eyes as a dark grin curved his lips. His fingers spread apart on either side of my face, long claws sliding through my hair, hands grasping their claim on me as I stood up on my tip toes to claim his otherworldly lips with mine.