A/N: Now we're at the end. :)

Disclaimer: I still don't own this.

Are You Experienced?

Epilogue

1 year, 2…

(Maybe. *counts on fingers* Just about... Right? Yeah..? Oh. Sorry.)

1 Year, 3 Months, and 22 Days Later…

The wedding was, in Ron's opinion, the best he'd ever had the pleasure of attending, let alone took part in.

There was delicious food, wild friends, good music; his, nieces, nephews, and godkids were running around in formal dress, screaming and laughing; his mother and father looked happier than they had in years! Harry, oddly enough, was a good choice as best man, and looked quite smart. Hermione, of course, was a beautiful maid of honor. Ron had laughed, because Draco had been given the job of wrangling his brood without his lovers. The triad had moved back to England three months prior, and had been a huge help with the ceremony.

The decorations were beautiful; there were strings of fairy lights that lined the arch, walkway, and chairs, which led out onto the beach, all the way to the water; the canvas canopies, tables, and chair all set on the sand, and protected by the waves. The food was spectacular, and catered by both Red Houses, of course! It was all top quality, beautifully presented, and perfectly paired with the best wines and spirits galleons could buy. Everyone enjoyed their meals just as much as they enjoyed watching the wedding of the century.

The bride looked breathtaking!

Oh, wait… "Brides".

Ginny and Marceline looked spectacular, and their wedding was the best Ron had ever attended. It was only made better by the fact that he had Pansy- his coworker, friend, drinking buddy, lover, and girlfriend- as his date. But she was in an odd mood that day, having woken up feeling under the weather in their hotel room in Brazil, and needing a cool shower before being able to get dressed. Ron had told her that she needn't go to the wedding. When she insisted, he'd even told she could leave after, or even during, the ceremony. She'd taken the short trip down the hall of their hotel, to the Malters' room, and asked Draco for a Pepper Me Up. She'd returned looking even more upset, but hadn't listened to Ron when he told her to lie down.

Both Red Houses were still doing phenomenally well, and had been featured in magazines, newspapers, and catalogs across the globe, bringing patrons and reviews from all over the world. Despite all of Ron's irrational fears, he and Pansy had been able to work side by side perfectly, and both loved their jobs. He'd kicked himself a few times for not asking her out sooner, but, just maybe, things worked out the way they were supposed to.

As the wedding day went on, and the reception began, Ron and Pansy were sitting under a canvas tent, at a long table with the Malters and Molly, who was chatting up a storm after four or five glasses of wine. Hermione and Draco were listening to the jovial woman intently- Harry watching as his triplets ate their cake in the chairs next to him. The only time those three were happy was when they had sweets, so they were presently docile. Pansy sat next to Ron, also listening to his mum, still looking ill, but trying to remain attentive.

His mother was bragging about how many hours it had taken to make the brides' dresses, and Ron didn't find it worth listening too. Besides, he had heard many other conversations throughout the day that were far more interesting to reflect upon:

-"Yeah..! Who is she?!" Holly asked, confused and alarmed, the young witch having found a cricket bat that rested over one shoulder, and who was being "grilled" by a very swotty Mateo, Vivica, Jane, and Zarek.

"What?!" Mateo yelled.

"What?!" Vivica asked, her jaw dropping.

"The Sultan of Swat!" Jane yelled.

"The King of Crash!" Zarek added.

"The Colossus of Clout!" Mateo shouted, and Vivica echoed,

"The Colossus of Clout!"

"Babe Ruth!" They all four yelled at Holly at once.

"The Great Bambino!" Mateo finished., looking beside himself with shock, anger, and worry.

Holly's eyes went wide before she dropped her bat, slapped her hands to either temple, and yelled, "You mean that's the same guy?!"-

Ron had overheard the end of a conversation between George and Angelina, which he had found very intriguing, when he'd gone to use the loo some ways down the beach before the ceremony had begun:

-"… and you did what with Marcy while you were in this closet?"

"It's called "Seven Minutes in Heaven", love. It's an innocent Muggle game!"

"Ha! I've got you, there, Annie. You're about to be not ok, because I know what that game is! Harry and Draco played it at the Joint Birthday Bash!"

"So you are allowed to watch two blokes make-out at a birthday party, but I can't get a little strange from a super-model during her bachelorette party? Get with the times, mate! It's not a big deal!"

George gaped at his wife before she escaped into the women's loo without another word.—

There had been a less heavy conversation had between Seamus, Neville, Luna, and an unconscious Dean, only an hour ago, while Ron had been at the bar getting water for his girlfriend:

-"… and then I started to wonder, "Who is the weed man, you know?" Seamus was really high, and it became painfully obvious when he asked, "What if Hitler's "The Weed Man"? I mean, you know he didn't die! There's no way that cunt died!"

"Seamus. Pass that," Neville said, the pureblood looking rather bored at the half-blood's change in topic of conversation. Seamus reached over Dean- who had fallen asleep between the Irishman and Neville- the Auror taking the joint and saying, "It's a proven fact that the street lights in the Champ de Mars were taken out so that old Addy could get his private airplane in there… Read a book, mate! Don't you get the Hitler channel?" Neville hit the joint, and passed it to Luna.

The blonde witch took a hit, then another, and said, "Hitler's gotta be the man."

"Ah ha!" Seamus said, pointing at Luna in triumph.

"Please don't encourage him much more, my love," Neville said to his wife. "Remember, we don't talk about Religion, Time Travel, or Evil Dictators while we're high. Gryffindor rule number three." -

The one he overheard, presently, sometime well into the reception, had to be Ron's most memorable:

"I would have never thought I'd see my daughter look so happy!" Molly wailed, "Marcy makes her so happy! I am so happy for them! And you, Pansy!" Molly turned her attention to Ron's already uneasy girlfriend, "You make my Ronnie so happy..! ...Wait-" The Weasley matriarch changed her expression and tone of voice as she looked to Pansy, who gave her a wry smile. "Wha-? What?!" Molly began to stumble over her words, before a grin broke out over her face as she said, "Pansy, darling! You- you, uh- you look quite flush! Are- uh… are you feeling well?"

"Jesus and Merlin!" Hermione exclaimed, putting a hand to her mouth for a second, before removing it to ask, "Are- are you still feeling… uh… under the weather, Pans?"

"I'm fine," Pansy replied shortly as she cleared her throat. Then, her hand went to her mouth, and she took a sharp inhale and held it as she turned slightly green, before her skin flushed once more. After a few seconds, she released her breath, shakily, and that was when Harry yelled,

"Holy fuck, I know that look!" The bespectacled man looked to the very confused looking Ron, before turning back to Pansy and saying, "You're pregnant! When were you going to tell us?!"

"What?!" Ron almost screamed, "Who's pregnant?" he turned to look at Hermione, then his mum, then to his girlfriend, who looked back at him with a very apprehensive look, before saying,

"I am…"

Ron grasped the edge of his seat, swayed, and then blacked out onto the chairs beside him, before rolling off of them and under the table. Molly, Harry, and Pansy moved to check on the fainted Ron, while Draco cackled with his wife; Hermione yelling at her fainted friend, "Get up off the floor, you pussy!" She fell into another fit of hysterical laughter, which Draco joined her in.

"Ron?" Pansy asked, slapping him awake. She'd seen him faint once before, the first time he'd watch her slit a cow's throat in the slaughter house. "Love? Come on. Wake up," Pansy urged. Ron's eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at his girlfriend with confusion and fear.

"Are you really?" He asked. She nodded, looking as full of fear- and as close to throwing up- as he felt, and he took a stabling breath before he got up off the floor, and pulled Pansy into him for a hug.

A/N: Thank you all for giving this fic a chance, and bearing with me to the end! All of my loyal readers are amazing, and you made the trip that much easier. Perhaps there will be more to come in this part of the AUniverse. We'll see. :) I have some ideas.

A/N: I would also like to thank my BETA, I was BOTWP, for all of the help she's given me the last nine months with my fics. I can't believe we've been doing this for that long! (Look, boo! We've made two babies!) I'd also like to thank storygirl1015 for all of her inspirational IMs!

Thank you for reading "Are You Experienced?" I'm out! Deuces!