So this came to me on a whim. I decided to take a chance and write a Bella/Jacob story. However, while this is an imprint story, it's a slow burn. Bella is a little different, she is much more of a strong character.

Bella's growth is a highlight in this chapter, and Jacob comes later. The dates should line up, but just in case, let me know if I made an error. Enjoy and let me know what you all think.

She's sick of this town, she's sick of that boy
Yeah she's sick of dreams that never take flight
There's gotta be more than the same old story
So she's gonna turn the page tonight
And turn the radio up (turn the radio up)
Roll the windows down
She got a full tank of gas (she got a full tank of gas)
Ain't no stopping her now

She's got the pedal to the floor in a hand-me-down Ford,
Yeah, the only thing that's left to do
Is catch a couple green lights and those baby blue eyes
Are leaving nothing in that rearview
But dust, nothing but dust

~Dust-Eli Young Band

I tapped my fingers anxiously as my fingers clasped the photo album. Inside lay a few photographs of me without him. My mouth grew dry as a drop of reality hit me, he wasn't coming back.

I could write as many emails as I wanted to Alice's deactivated emails but that wouldn't change anything. The curtain fell, and I was without a knight in shining armor.

This wasn't the fairy tales that Renee red to me when I was a little girl. Edward wasn't going to come to save me from the tower.

Damsels in distress had to take matters in their own hands when princes didn't come save the day. Damsels in distress had to realize Prince Charming wasn't coming back.

All the urgent emails I sent in the dead of night couldn't bring him back. He made his choice, on that chilly autumn day in the forest.

The look of his eyes showed the sign of defeat, and realizing he couldn't pretend anymore. I spent numerous nights in the comfort of my bed crying myself to sleep.

I dreamed of him sitting in the rocking chair, watching me sleep. Sometimes the dream felt all too real, and I could imagine my window open again.

With a huff, I stalked over to my window and shut it. I looked out to the outside world into the dreary cloudy weather.

Forks always looked like it was about to rain, and these past few months have felt like waiting. Waiting for the earth shattering realization that he wasn't coming back.

The waiting had left me crippled, pained, and awaiting the rain to come and wash the fragments away. Instead, the sky remained stagnant and full of full clouds.

My finger traced over the photo album and I shoved the nearly empty photo album into a dusty desk drawer. I heard the front door open and loud steps accompanying it.

"Bella!" Charlie called. At the call of my name, I went down the stairs and into the kitchen. I found the dinner I assembled there, and sighed before answering.

"Hey Dad," I said, mustering a half-smile.

"How was school today?" Charlie asked, looking at me for any signs of distress. After he left, Charlie looked at me more closely than before.

Every interaction with him had an undertone of fear. He was scared of upsetting me, or saying the wrong thing.

"It was okay," I said, actually meaning it. Okay had become the most frequently used word in my dictionary. The pain constricted in my chest tightened as I grabbed the salad bowl from the counter.

"I made dinner, so if you're ready we can sit down," I offered gesturing to the already set table.

"Oh, thank you, Bells." Charlie said, clearly shocked. It had been weeks since I had actually made dinner; Charlie compensated by calling for pizza.

"This looks great," he said, accessing the chicken on the table. The dust on the table had been cleaned off finally. For a long time, Charlie resorted to eating dinner on the couch while watching ESPN.

"Thanks Dad," I said, with a small smile. He sat down at the table while I gave him a glass of water. He picked a large piece of chicken and began eating.

"Dad," I said. He looked up from his plate and met my gaze.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," I murmured, anxiousness coating my tone. I looked at him and he remained waiting for my news.

"I'm thinking about moving back to Florida with Mom," I said, my voice breaking. I looked in his eyes for any sign of pain.

"It's not because of anything you've done. You've been amazing to me and have put up with so much from me. I just...I can't," I struggled. This all went so much easier in my head.

"This place...just has too many memories and I'm so sorry I've been such a burden on you the past few weeks because you don't deserve it. Any of it," I said, my throat growing dry.

"I thought I could do it, and I can't. I thought I could get by and keep seeing everything that reminds me of..of..him," I said, my voice breaking.

"I think I need some sunshine, and I know running away from it doesn't solve anything but I want to heal. I want to breathe and live again and right now I feel like a robot," I said, tears pooling in my eyes. Charlie's shocked expression turned into understanding.

"And I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being so reckless, and for continually bringing stress to you," I said, my eyes brimming with tears.

With shaky legs I got up from the dinner table and walked to the bathroom. I thought I could hold it together, but I didn't. After a while, I heard a hesitant knock at the door.

I heard Charlie clear his throat and let out a deep breath.

"Bells," he said, coming out more like a question.

I wiped the stray tears from my eyes and hesitantly opened the bathroom door. Charlie's eyes showed pain as he looked at me.

I remained in my position on the ground as he handed me a glass of water. His kindness cracked my heart as I hesitantly took the glass from his hands.

He left a moment later, realizing I needed my space. Time seemed to creep by as I sat on the floor, finally allowing myself to cry.

Charlie came sometime later with a blanket. He squatted down next to me and wrapped me in a blanket. I looked up at him as he cautiously pat my shoulder.

For the first time in my life, I opened my arms and wrapped them around him. Charlie was at first shocked, but then responded by placing one hand behind my head as I cried on his shoulder.

We stayed there for a while as I returned to crying. Charlie didn't say a word, and the only sounds in the house were my broken sobs.

Moments passed, and I must have fallen asleep. When I came to, I realized Charlie was carrying me up the stairs. He was shaky as his grip on me sometimes faltered.

He laid me on my bed and tucked me underneath the blanket. He placed a water glass on my bedside table before he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

As I snuggled into the blankets, I felt a crack in my heart begin to close.

The next morning I called Renee.

"Mom," I said as she picked up the phone.

"Bella! Honey, it's been forever since I've heard from you," Renee said, her voice filled with relief. Pain flared in my stomach as I realized how long it had been since I spoke to her.

"I'm sorry about that, Mom," I apologized wincing at my slacking on being a daughter.

"It's okay, honey. How are you? Oh that's a bad question, but it's so good to hear your voice," Renee said, her words rushed. I almost chuckled at her jumbled words, but I kept quiet.

"It's good to hear your voice, too. I'm okay," I said, using that word again. The word that held my seams together.

"Bella, baby, I miss you. Why don't you come visit me? I'm sure you'd love it here, it's sunny almost every day," Renee said, her voice growing cheerful.

I felt my throat begin to close at her request.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I murmured.

"Oh it's so beautiful here, there's beaches and it's so warm. The water is so clear and warm most days! You could maybe get a little tan," Renee giggled.

"Mom, I was thinking of moving back with you," I said, finally ripping off the band-aid. Renee had a sharp intake of breath as she processed my request.

"I think that's a great idea. I've tried to talk to your father about it, but he's stubborn. I think he'd be convinced if you suggested it," Renee said calculatingly.

"I've talked to him about it," I admitted.

"He's on board if you are," I added, twirling a pencil around my finger.

"Of course! I'd love another girl around this house! I mean, I love Phil but I miss my girl," Renee admitted, excitement bubbling in her voice.

"I miss you too," I murmured.

"I think a change of scenery would really help you, honey. It's so dark and gloomy in Forks," Renee chimed in. I didn't admit that I was running away from the memories and pain that dragged behind me in Forks.

"It is, and I'm ready for a change," I said, the words falling off my lips hesitantly. Those words began to set me free and realize it was through change that I could breathe again.

Boxes covered my floor as the moving process lingered on. I drummed my fingers anxiously against my desk as my computer loaded.

I was positive I was crazy, but I reassured myself that it was worth it. I opened my email and then started a new email. The receiver's ID was clearly deactivated, however I addressed the email the same.

Dear Alice,

I know you're probably not reading these ever or will open them. However, writing them has been cathartic to me. So I'm going to pretend for a few minutes that I'm talking to you.

By now it's been eight months. Eight months since you and your family vanished without a trace from Forks. I want you to know I don't blame you and I'm not angry anymore.

Instead, I've accepted that you're not coming back. You had your reasons I'm sure, and I wish we could have had a proper goodbye.

I realize that goodbyes take time and energy, which is why I've chosen to write this. Writing these emails in my darkest hours of the night has been helpful with grieving.

You were an amazing friend to me, and I'm grateful for the time we spent together. I miss you, but I know wherever you are, you are happy.

If you talk to him, I hope he knows I forgive him. I'm not mad at him anymore for leaving, or for breaking up with me. I can't force someone to stay.

It is because I love him that I have to let him go. Loving him was crazy and addictive, a never ending roller coaster. And I'm realizing now that maybe it's because I was more in love with the adventure than I was with him.

Maybe I was in love with him saving me constantly.

And he deserves someone who is deeply in love with all of him-not just the mystery or the thrill. There isn't a doubt in my mind that a place in my heart will always be his.

He will linger in my heart as a could have been; whenever I choose to date again he will be the man I compare every other man to.

It's clear to me now that I was never meant for your world-I could not fit in. And I'm okay with that.

The truth is, this is my last email ever. I've decided to start living instead of just existing. I've decided to heal, and to move on like he wanted.

But this time it's not because of what he wanted, because I'm doing this for me.

I'm moving to Florida for a while with Renee. I'll spend my senior year in Jacksonville with her and Phil. I never thought I'd want to move back in with her, but she sounds like she's by herself most of the day with Phil gone a lot.

Maybe starting somewhere fresh will allow me to heal, or maybe I just miss the sunshine. Either way, I'm ready for change the very thing I feared for so long.

I miss you like crazy, Alice.

-Bella

With a deep sigh I pressed the send button. I shut down the computer and started to place it in a box like the rest of my belongings.

I sealed the box shut with tape before leaning against it. I looked once more outside to the rainy and dismal weather and couldn't wait for sunshine.

I waved at Charlie as I walked into the entrance of the terminal. I hoisted my day bag closer to me as I shot Charlie one last smile.

Charlie waved back as he shuffled back and forth. Once I got on the plane I chose a window seat. The plane ride passed by seamlessly, without turbulence.

As the plane drew closer to Florida, sunshine crept through the window. I laid my head against the window as my eyes drifted closed.

When I woke up, everyone was getting off the plane. I shuffled into the aisle and grabbed my day bag before walking down the aisle and onto the steps.

I felt sunshine against my cheeks for the first time in months, and like a flower I felt myself reach for it.