A/n: Just a thought; you'd think that there would be a point where both Apple and Raven got a little sick of having to almost constantly be the ones to solve all of these random catastrophes when they are surrounded by people who should be just as competent to fix these very same issues themselves… I don't know, maybe it's just me but sometimes I get the feeling that in the websodes Raven just has to stop every once and a while and ask no one in particular why she's the one whose always in the spotlight when drama goes down and suddenly everyone turns to herself and Apple (if Apple just so happens to be around that is) with the automatic assumption that they will make things all better right away…
I'd imagine that kind of expectation and peer pressure would get old pretty quick, especially for Raven (Apple might be more used to it because of having to grow up with control freak Snow White as a mother. Yeek).
And also I discovered what coconut crabs are! (Google: coconut crab on a trashcan. I dare you.)
XXX
"No, 'm not getting out of bed today!" Raven grumped clinging to the covers she had cocooned herself inside.
"What has gotten into you today?" Apple asked her roommate (and recent girlfriend) in bewilderment as she tugged uselessly at the witch's cloth shield.
"It's all lining up again!" The witch despaired. "Every time a little crazy out of place thing happens around here it turns into a major situation and I'm always dragged into it! I'm sick of it! It's bad enough that I get almost no privacy anymore with the near constant freaking never-ending crisis involving me refusing to become the Evil Queen and the Rebel group that I have been unofficially named the leader of, but every time there is a different crisis around here I am pushed into the forefront and am just expected to solve everything at the drop of a hat! It's happening again and I want no part of it! There is a full school filled with future kings and queens, they are fully capable of taking care of things themselves!"
"Is this about that infestation of fairy-fluffs last week?" Apple queried in exasperation (Raven had to be the only person in the school who was terrified of the relatively harmless balls of cooing fluff that many fairies regarded as common house pets).
"They feast off of dead things!" Raven exclaimed. "They'll feast on their own owners as long as they're dead first you know! And they've got the personality of a carnivorous eel! Their cute and cuddly appearance is a lie! And here they were all trying to hunt me down just so that I could fix the problem instead of putting their heads together and using common sense for themselves! They didn't even try to contact you to fix things! Why? You're the future golden girl queen of this place!"
"That was because I was busy trying to pry my petrified girlfriend from the ceiling scaffolding and had left my ringing phone on the ground." Apple reminded dryly. "I never knew that your magic could make you jump that high when you got frightened enough."
"Neither did I!" The witch defended.
"I know you didn't." Apple cooed sympathetically. Admittedly the situation would have been much more funny if the other hadn't been so badly frightened. "But isn't it nice to know that there are people who can count on you? That people look up to you for being a leader?"
"Sometimes but not always." Raven growled lowly. "I never asked to be the leader of anything if you will recall and sometimes it just isn't worth acting like a leader because as soon as everything is all said and done lately I don't even get a thank you! Here, where some of the brightest future leaders of entire countries, sometimes worlds, are being trained, and nobody aside from you and Maddie ever really pull it together enough to help me out when I'm obviously stumped? I don't know what I'm doing half the time! None of the stuff we have to fix is covered in our textbooks!"
Apple heaved a sigh. "So what's the crisis this time?" The princess asked apprehensively, having been dragged into these situations along with the witch most of the time. "And what's gotten you to rebel on the campus's crisis today?" Apple sensed that there was more to this than Raven just feeling used.
"Remember how yesterday Sparrow was looking into some special effects for his latest concert and he had made Duchess mad for calling her ideas too dumb to even consider?" Raven grumbled taking out her phone and turning it on, it immediately started to beep and ring as people tried to get ahold of her but the witch ignored it in favor of pulling up Blondie's blog. "Well while you were in the shower it was revealed that little scuffle had somehow evolved into this." The witch stated holding up her phone for the princess to see.
"The residents of Ever After high are in a panic after waking up this morning to these creepy creatures terrorizing the campus!" Blondie's chipper voice proclaimed before the camera was trained on one of the mentioned creatures.
"YEEEEK!" Apple screamed jumping back from the phone's screen. "What the freaking hex is that thing?"
"Coconut crab." Raven informed calmly, turning off her phone again. "I recognize it because one of the island nations that used to be one of my country's colonies is infested with thousands of them every year after the second raining season brings them out of the forests and into the villages, they crawl all over everything, even climbing trees. They're known for taking coconuts from the highest trees and randomly dropping the fruit down to the ground so that the hard shell will crack and they can get at the meat inside, having one hex of a slicing pinch with those massive claws of theirs- so take care not to get your fingers too close please-, and they actually taste pretty good when cooked. Though you do tend to get sick of crab meat after a while…"
"They climb things?" The princess shrilled in horror. "They won't climb buildings will th-?"
Apple is cut off when both girls hear a light thumping and scratching sounds coming from one of the open windows where a particularly large crab has found the window ledge and curiously tries to crawl it's way in.
The witch startles when the princess shrieks and uses a few colorful words that Raven wasn't even aware that Apple knew let alone would ever speak out loud, before the princess dove to where the two kept their croquet gear and then launches herself at the crustacean with a flamingo club held high over her head and a war cry escaping from her teeth-bared painted lips.
The crab puts up a noble fight to stay on the ledge and get into the room but the princess's disgust over its creepy appearance and the fact that it was trying to get into their dorm and therefore her domain is a far more powerful driving force and soon the girl sends the creature flying to it's demise with one last mighty swing of the club.
The princess is practically a blur after that, closing and locking balcony doors and windows alike, rearranging furniture to barricade the critters slowly crawling over the balcony railing outside from coming inside, and as an afterthought Apple takes a desk chair and fixes it under the handle of the front door, muttering hateful things about anybody who dares show up to drag them out into the fray of the invasion of the multi-legged shelled things from the bottommost pits of watery hell.
"So I take it that we're staying in today?" Raven asks almost hopefully, because there was still a chance that Apple will send Raven out in order to annihilate the enemy, for once in her life, like the Evil ruthless ruler Raven was born to pretend to be!
…And because Raven was the designated pest control expert of the dorm (spiders, flies, and mosquitoes never stood a chance as long as Raven was in the room because apparently the same genetic hiccup that made flowers wilt if she exhaled a certain way also worked on bugs! It was the disposal of their unconscious bodies that was the gross part). Which was fine because Raven was paid for her troubles in favors, and recently, in kisses, and the witch supposed that she wouldn't mind being recruited by Apple to take care of the current problem if it meant that Apple would be happy with her for getting rid of the things…
Although not without a token bit of false reluctance, it wouldn't do for Apple to know this early on in their relationship the exact extent of how far Raven would go to make the girl happy (it's not like the witch would instantly jump off a cliff if Apple told her to with the promises of kisses and such if Raven survived. No, Raven would go find a parachute or secure a climbing rope to nail into the rock first, then she would jump), actually showing too much enthusiasm for the simple promise of a kiss and gratitude might end up worrying Apple a little, because Raven knew that Apple would never dream of using any influence that she had over Raven (now) to try to manipulate the witch into doing something Raven didn't want to do (like becoming the next Evil Queen).
And sometimes, with their past ever-fresh in Apple's mind, the princess can't help but occasionally, very gently and with calculated care, test Raven to make sure that the witch is still her usual rebellious self and that what they have together is on equal ground, because after the dragon games fiasco with Raven's mother Apple had some sort of epiphany about just what exactly the world would have been like if Raven had been evil and that the whole Evil Queen Raven thing wasn't nearly as romantic an idea as it had been initially advertised.
And also that Apple really truly loves the version of Raven that she's currently got and she's apparently dead set and determined to keep her just the way she is.
Raven may or may not have swooned once this realization had finally hit her squarely in the heart.
The witch breaks from her musings and tries to appear innocent (except for the fact that she can't stop grinning like a loon) when the princess snaps her head towards the other with an almost feral look.
"You ask that after I just locked us both in?" Apple demands dryly.
Raven can't help but grin wider as she shrugs her shoulders.
Apple glances over to the balcony through the windowed doors and shudders. "A future queen of Ever After I may be, however I am not an exterminator. And while my inherited powers over semi-controlling many groups animals to do my bidding is impressive, giant tick-crab-demon-looking creatures are not the type of animals that are in my repertoire- nor do I wish to try to get them to be-, and I can name off the top of my head over a dozen fairytale characters currently enrolled in this school who have ample ability to rid us of these pests in no time if they put their minds to it. There is no need for us to go out."
"Do you think that it will take them long to figure it out?" Raven mused speculatively.
"Who knows." Apple shrugged as if she was beginning to care less and less about the situation as long as it was solved before they ran out of things to eat. "However I do know that after seeing one of those things face to- …claw I feel like taking another shower…"
The princess blushed bright red and shifted on her feet agitatedly as a thought struck her; she had just taken a shower which meant that the amount of hot water they had left would not be enough for Raven too unless…
The princess pinched herself before taking a big breath. "D-do you- maybe… we can s-save what's left of the hot water? That is if you um… want to… together? We're both girls after all, even though we are dating and… everything-"
"S-sure!" The answer was out of Raven's mouth before the other could finish, before the witch's brain had a chance to fully think this through.
The princess seemed to relax slightly. "There isn't enough hot water for us to take separate showers so…" Apple shrugged. "Sorry for the inconvenience."
"No inconvenience at all." Raven coughed, sharply trying to remind her raging hormones that the other's reasoning were probably just based on innocent deduction, and tried not to think about the fact that ever since they had started dating they hadn't even gotten dressed in front of each other…
"Okay great, I've always wanted to play with your hair." Apple coughed, dragging the dazed witch behind her as they disappeared into the bathroom.